Transcript of Episode 91 - Sex Puberty Masturbation Orgasm
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00:00:02| we're here to talk about peepees fingers and butts we're gonna do the thing with Dingles and nuts the birds and the bees and everything between your knees so strap in and strap on we're gonna have
00:00:20| the sex talk folks so I'm Dan and I'm Nick both for old friends dissecting one topic at a time people technology media we've got it all covered each discussion here is a deep dive in or unique
00:00:40| perspective taboo forbidden subjects they're all on the chopping block baby we don't pander to popular opinion with Mike you can get a little bit dirty good morning this podcast may contain mature
00:00:53| language and sexual context and this protein meant purposes only so join us have a good time open up your earholes [Music] all right so we're back with the third
00:01:20| installment of Susannah I think Harris guest can't shake them all sometimes I think by the third time you're not only a guest you're a friend so thank you I'm grade we got a
00:01:37| friendship upgrade it is a third date that's perfect the way to go I don't use oh that podcast I watched just went live you guys mind I get notifications to my watch at home
00:01:52| maybe you should too you know so where does it go life - I never had this that's fine through twitch twitch okay cool which yeah you know I would love to watch it along but I'm busy during most
00:02:08| of their shows live should I watch the recorded version mm-hmm and also goes to YouTube periscope you now smash cast mixer VK and someplace else a couple of those sure those are all my Russian
00:02:21| sites yeah I'm sure whatever we say here can be you know brought back can mm-hmm mmm you just bleep it out to leave it from the internet so is this like another episode that will all want
00:02:37| deleted back after it's released are we going on place with so many people we know and use relationships we used to yeah that's the idea I think but the worst point I've had so
00:02:48| I said not in the negative directory sense just you know had to delete that out you say were you reading um like lyrics to a song that's the only I can see that yes please say you were just
00:03:02| say you were no no the backstory was that like one of Nick's previous co-workers was harassed and I thought that was why I was like did he say that's what uh you were asking he said
00:03:14| if it didn't say it myself that's how PC I am so we're gonna delve into the secrets of Dan Nick and Susannah here Oh sexual experiences let's talk about sex
00:03:27| that's what he would sound like if he was singing now cuz he's probably old who is that right Fred said yeah I mean the cheat codes did make a remix of that song so I know that one codes mm-hmm I'm
00:03:45| too old I don't know who they're yesterday that's fine I'll just chug along do they that's not there does a ridge that was a remake right or is that the original let's talk about sex
00:04:00| yeah pepper I always thought it is man oh yeah well that's salt or is that pepper I'm not even him huh she uh there's my eye I felt 101 all right whatever
00:04:17| through this podcast you guys will notice that's Creedence do you do that for days Nick heard it's been so long I don't know if I would like you mean a preparation just did you save the middle
00:04:34| oh no guys I'm bringing this back you should have let someone else he did the whole side with well I call this the landings it's either pointing to his chin where he had hair previously oh
00:04:51| yeah there is no angle it's a sex message the kids will get it the adult children all right all right moving in serious experts already like very off the rails right yeah blame Nick
00:05:14| mm-hmm I guess let's talk about like first figuring out what's going on because I guess there's like 12 years of your life where you have no idea about sex and then puberty hits you and then
00:05:26| no one tells you anything so I guess who wants to start about it's the beginning of their figuring out about their sexual life I'll tell you guys the average of virginity ages loss
00:05:38| of virginity in America oh yeah right now they're at American men I guess 16.9 years okay I'm asking women seven seventeen point two okay closer than I thought right um the
00:05:53| virginity rate also in high school has gone down dramatically it used to be most kids lost their virginity by high school I think by junior senior year was like 54% hmm now that number is down to
00:06:07| percent sure why I can find a tional teen pregnancies down to that's good no that's down like to a third of what he used to be I don't remember the exact number but I mean that's good I guess
00:06:24| right yeah yeah that's probably it's probably good I don't know my first like understanding of what's that like okay so in fifth grade or something they separated the boys and girls and turns
00:06:36| out they told the boys like how to wear deodorant yeah that's in the talk talk about that we doesn't talk yeah it's like responsible and then to the girls they teach us about like tampons and
00:06:48| that you're gonna be embarrassed for the rest of your life but other than that I think ludes show mannitol hoping you're going to feel shitty tell you they tell you how to put everything in it
00:06:59| everything or they like vague about it they're like well I'm in the crowd yuck yeah but I think you know my parents were pretty open but I think actually where I got most of my understanding
00:07:22| from sex was from Sex in the City it used to do reruns on like TBS I used to watch that so that version when I grew up and I actually watched the Unrated or like the well yes
00:07:37| Showtime I think they need to be over yet HBO yeah it was usually that version was was a little bit more but like he's still you pick up a lot on the on the like 15 14 so yeah the age gap
00:07:53| lanique and i are both like 33 ish I think you're like five years [Music] yeah I'm 26 26 okay so the gang do the math yeah no numbers I'm just trying to
00:08:10| figure out cuz like the the interview because I blend stuff allows you to understand things much better than what Nick and I had which was it was very little that's right so like we got that
00:08:26| school talk and my parents pretty much they sat awkwardly in a parking lot and said do you know about this stuff and I go yeah I guess I like good don't
00:08:39| get anybody pregnant and then it's like that was all I had and then I didn't know how to do anything for like until I was like 15 14 I was watching uh was it like stars or
00:08:51| prism which I don't think exists anymore after all a prism 1ft after 1:00 a.m. in the morning like really nasty porn - and like my friends would stay up at my house in the basement and we'd wait til
00:09:05| one o'clock that's like the clock rolled over and then like all sudden come on it was an experience that's almost romantic via the clock then that's crazy other you like first really learn about sex
00:09:22| through porn or mmm doing it I think well funniest was when my parents tried to talk to me about it I was like 15 and they were like hey like this is my dad he's just meet with him us actually so I
00:09:39| know you've had you know about the birds and the bees and we don't have to give you that talk but uh we were gonna give that talk to your sisters you have any advice or anything like and you talk to
00:09:49| other kids or something and I was like no I don't know dad and he's like you have a good talk and he left I didn't want to have the talk and he's wanting to make sure I knew so he was like
00:09:58| making an excuse he did this later when he was talking about death he I think it was like 13 and a relative he's like in death so I gotta talk to your sisters about
00:10:09| your great-aunt dying do you think how do you think they'll take it I remember it being like I don't I don't know I guess just tell them they're with God or I don't know I didn't know what he
00:10:19| wanted it was like a quiz or something he was like yeah you're pretty you're good about it right and I was like I'm fine dad and he's like all right good dog
00:10:27| so like both times it was like not really a talk to me it was to talk about someone else and I think they were just like he's he's got we don't have to do this yeah so I don't know where I think
00:10:38| I just learned it from talking with other kids in Sakai yeah and like the sources of porn I guess we're like we that's prism and start oh and they yeah this magazine its Playboy which we found
00:10:52| like one in my friends basement and then we just like all went crazy because we didn't know what how to take it cuz none of us had been told you know what's funny every time when I was really young
00:11:03| I would look at a Playboy and when they would show the woman's like total like dimples and vagina I was always like I know I said the big words there look I would be like I mean like it cuz I'm not
00:11:17| used to seeing them and I was like whoa and it wasn't like a hot turn-on thing it was more like a that's Weir's do yeah and then they were like always pale because I guess tan lines were in in the
00:11:31| at it and I'd be like whoa that's the part that they never show this is crazy and I'd be like okay let's turn the page like that's that's sort of like how it is I still feel like that sometimes when
00:11:44| you hook up with dudes in the summer where you're like mmm he's cute and they take something all this closer like okay this is a part I don't see as often well you say you're like it's less sexy how
00:12:00| to judge this there's no sunlight that hits this there's not a lot of people that judges you don't do much with it except punch it in the mouth over and over you know the weird thing
00:12:14| Wow that is a terrible way to describe sex with masturbation I was describing masturbation No when he sees that that's all he does oh my god no that's not really mouth
00:12:32| it's like sex in the worst area in the world that's that's a full-blown that's bad news uh-huh I'll tell you guys this is a segue in second grade I remember this
00:12:47| because it involves my one friend who always listens to the podcast what the Famicom okay the kid behind me I remember Greg fever he hung we had prayer cards they gave
00:12:59| out and it was like I forget which scene it was but you know what a prayer card was maybe like a trans masturbation oh yeah one thing Catholic school but then yeah right just in a leaper kinds of
00:13:09| parts chasidy chastity chastity well they handed in second cream they weren't talking about sex Jesus Christ chin no prayer cards it was like Saint Athanasius or something on the back of
00:13:20| it has a saint day and what he was known for and where he could study more and then in the Bible so Greg from behind me wrote s e X on the prayer card and he thought it was
00:13:30| the funniest thing because he wrote sex it was just a bad word I didn't even know what it was and he handed it to me and my teacher saw him hand it to me and I remember this is melon head we'll call
00:13:40| her she came over and she's she's like an 80 some year-old woman in my head I'm not sure how old she really was probably like 60 three-team over walking to a grave at night on the blood of mortal
00:13:54| she comes over and she sees me crumpling something to my desk and she reaches it and pulls it out and UNCHR umple it in front of me and Greg him went oh no and she took us both into the hallway and
00:14:05| this is I still remember what she said because I didn't I didn't know what sex was I just know it was a bad word she was like sex between two adults through the eyes of God is a beautiful thing and
00:14:16| I was thinking myself I don't know what this lady's talking about but I better just be quiet and she was like but what you did here today is bad this is not to be whatever and she ripped the prayer
00:14:27| card and to shaking because she and then they told my parents that I wrote sex regret card and I didn't write it Greg rode it that was my first
00:14:39| interaction with um sex actually card so I want to know when like you you did a really good job of explaining when the average philosopher Jinna T was but especially on the coattails of talking
00:14:52| about being like repressed Catholics yes when was that for you guys cuz I was not ever Catholic but actually repressed Catholics are like my favorite type my family left almost yeah Wow that's weird
00:15:08| sorry like two days ago I figured out my type in men well we're gonna get real personal but my type of event is cuz I'm like is there anything that links these people together I asked a couple of them
00:15:20| it turns out it's like big dicks and electric toothbrushes like that's wow that's really weird well what's it's interesting you bring that up
00:15:32| what Dad hope you had a tree push right there any any granite salesmen worth his weight in marble knows this I just get yeah that big everyone's hands are different sizes but mine's the same
00:15:59| every time around yeah oh yeah yeah I'm very wide but very short that's the way life goes folks um Oh what I was gonna say is um loss of virginity so mom turn off the podcast and I was right before
00:16:23| he turned 14 so it's 13 early whatever yeah and beating the odds yeah I did beat the I was a little younger was it good and I did it with a just isolate that sound bar I just I
00:16:37| write to jail I did it with a 14 year old to like a year later so when you think about it like I could get arrested for all the things I say right here was it the same person or was that
00:16:52| a new one no that one was the same person okay boy holy crap nothing fresh Lance a pipe yeah ten year old wow it took me until college for said early college it
00:17:12| took me that long it's like a high school guy holy crap so there that so that was excused in high school I used to this is embarrassing I used to get online and like chat with
00:17:23| a lot of women little girls my age I guess they're like a year old sounds like you I can see this yes ASL thing you like a text location yeah and then you you start talking to I mean you get
00:17:34| really like into their brains cuz that's why you can get personal personalized and he starts rolling out some new stains and pictures look at you yeah I guess so
00:17:47| I may be once so there's probably a dick pic out there somewhere floating on there my junk we've got were sent one day pic or just renaming one over and over and over the key there is that when
00:18:12| I found him like really cool with women that were they would like talk me up so like some of the high school women high school friends they actually started chatting with them for some reason like
00:18:24| in the computer lab because he could bring up the like the messenger and I had one one woman who talked about how she went down on me so all the people that were my friends in that computer
00:18:35| class thought that I was getting busy so I had a reputation amongst all that I guess all the Nerds especially our friend named Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy F she was just like playing me up for no reason so
00:18:53| it took a while for me to like actually progress because I feel like I was stunted in that area which I think most people do feel that way wait listen you get into ruts like it
00:19:04| depends where you hang out and who you hang out with the problem is that I could never like I was so shy that I could never meet people like I would never be like hi I'm Dan I like you
00:19:13| you're cute when I go do something like they would I was there the sex club yeah okay you can't do that this bar around the street they will let underage women in can you guys go to fifth base yeah
00:19:24| fifth base that's anal as was anal sex is so not taboo anymore it appeared in a editorial in teen vogue team group yes I just read this online today and I was like 19 or 18 vogue like aim it towards
00:19:50| okay that's true so it was for me to sex in the city and then Cosmopolitan magazine I still get compliments from the stuff I learned on in Cosmo so Cosmo can be
00:20:02| great you also learn to like use sunscreen and sometimes shave with the grain not a Corinne stand against it I mean it depends I'd no idea does have a name it's gotta have a name no I I just
00:20:23| made it up I made it up tonight I needed to do something look guys I put on like a shirt look because I felt we were gonna also talk about dating in the world today and I was like this is what
00:20:35| I would wear look at this weather was my wife's like standard for sleeping with my whole leg skinny leg man that's my leg that's what your skinny jeans Wow Wow I'm just wearing pajamas I could
00:21:00| hear you guys might hit thumbs below so those were mine this is mine if I were on a date outfit it also happens on sex that was a different problem I'm trying
00:21:14| to look good for a date but you're like ah man I thought we were talking about dating so I look good you're just like well sorry you start out with like this is what it is right this is what you get
00:21:25| how do you know if it's gonna be a strictly sex talk but like there's something interesting about all the dating apps and the swiping and the sex only apps that are out now that you can
00:21:35| I think it's changed - thanks bumble yeah three tender all those riders all those bad boys and I think so if we were to switch over to just a dating for a quick piece so we can get off the hot
00:21:48| and heavy stuff about who we had sex with him what car one we could just talk about dating in general and how it's literally changed in the past 20 years entirely mm-hmm I think I read a study
00:21:59| in 2017 at 19 percent of brides last year met their spouse online 1980 yeah I know some couples in marriage from like match shit that's I mean but that's way different than when I went to high
00:22:15| school or something there was a term online dating but that was like it wasn't what it was a taboo thing people were ashamed yeah he went on there yeah it was almost like a joke now the
00:22:28| opposite is true I think you're like I'm just going to the ball and trying to meet some people it's like whoa slow down try a dating application oh yes a dating app that you can open on your
00:22:41| phone so I had a list of some of the more popular ones have you season ever tried any of these yeah I'll race three four I will try let's all raise my hand match.com no you have to pay for that
00:23:00| one oh yeah I didn't know that no eat singles check that one up you did that one what's away details I couldn't figure it out I thought it was hella good
00:23:09| marketing and then the people on there are not good it also has to do with age range like mm-hmm is it an older crowd yeah like matches is good for like you know a right around
00:23:23| close sort of like 35 to 50 interesting now why is it called elite the money or looks or I think they just wanted to sound fancy I think I do think that one
00:23:34| had a little bit more of a background check Oh to make sure you're real and everything else okay yeah how about the zoosk no that's for
00:23:44| like oh I didn't catch that Zeus huh zo OS CAD seen it before I've never yeah if it's like advertised on television then it's old people stuff and it's for people who watch
00:23:59| televisions don't really like point a lot of ads through the Harmony Oh Stewie mom that money to write that forever ago hmm it's all okay Cupid okay that's a Potts
00:24:14| okay Cupid is okay yeah they like make female BOTS to like so they hook in I bow I do they do I do is it Chinese minion bish plenty of fish no these are like ranked
00:24:28| by the most to least it was it had to do with traffic and then individual yeah it's a weird dynamics anyway then I got to tinder grinder tractor me either the other two you said I was just curious on
00:24:48| a tractor okay sidebar have you met was a guy on a tractor I recently I got banned from tinder two weeks ago and I know it sounds really cool I just want to say that and leave
00:25:01| it but it's not cool I have like a different email on my facebook verses my like tinder login and they figured it out and you get banned for life so I have to make either a new my ebook just
00:25:11| yes and you can't like you can't reach out to them you send a message and it's just an automatic response of like please check our guidelines and who works at these companies is saying you
00:25:21| know I don't know if people who work at the people work at bumble like because bumble a little bit more reputable that because there's dating but then there's friends and networking I will say as
00:25:36| a woman who looks for other women it drives me it drives me crazy on tender that they didn't have that option because you'd be like flipping through everything wrong
00:25:49| she's cute looking for friends go away um ranked them for what they would be in your mind is that how it works like I one-night stand long-term relationship just a friend
00:26:03| based on the app you know like I do I'm the funny thing is is that I used I usually like tinder because people are more honest like you'll find the same people on the ones I've used recently
00:26:14| are coffee meets bagel bomb Bowl and tinder and it's like all the same exact people you're swiping through but you know on coffee meets bagel where you only get like six a day and you're
00:26:25| supposed to be chatty and then you go on a date and Bumble which the trick there is that the girl makes the first move so it's kind of nice I guess or if we match there's someone you're like ah he's cute
00:26:37| but I want to do this today and then tinder where it's just like a human factory but yeah on coffee meets bagel people are like hey new to the area excited to look around would love
00:26:53| to have a buddy for coffee and get to know each other and then like yeah almost like you know I like hiking and coffee or beer is great and then their tinder profiles like let's go
00:27:08| coordinates like beer question mark and then like a eggplant alright so success success rate on those oh yeah good I mean Nick and I don't think we've ever used any of those so
00:27:30| it's like the odds of finding somebody that's actually decent and then if you want to go farther you can uh well I guess I have two anecdotes one is that my parents actually met uh at a dating
00:27:44| site so this was like Mac is a cool site like they went to the police good bring it bring it yep yeah so it was like literal binders of women that you'd flip through and you'd find like
00:27:57| people they have ID cards baseball card of women it's like the website without the website that's hilarious yeah well I can't lie you know and they've been married how old am I
00:28:08| they've been married for almost 29 years and then you got that's wedlock I did the math yeah then they got engaged after ten weeks so but the thing with that is that they
00:28:22| both said they were really honest they both were looking for something serious and that vetting process was like actually done by somebody who wanted to make matches whereas on tinder that's
00:28:30| just like are you bro right as far as finding decent humans yeah I think so like the most recent people that I've been seeing having sex with it's just I don't like dates
00:28:45| I don't like dates they I don't like no I'm over the beginning homebody it's like going just broke why not rather sleep with people than : dates with them yeah actually that's usually the barrier
00:28:57| to me sleeping with people as I just don't want it Wow you can't imagine like intimate bubble you're like talk about everything bubble you know you just like just stay on the periphery essentially
00:29:08| yeah yeah I just like I feel like okay I've had a lot of situations so you asked about successes on all these dating sites and there was definitely one period of time where I was just like
00:29:24| whatever I want to enjoy myself and my profile basically said like not looking for anything serious would love to grab a drink and from the world means pretty straight filet of course that's no one
00:29:41| was confused but the thing was is that like I actually do I really like people I just it's funny the first meeting love the first meeting the second meeting I hate it I hate meeting someone for the
00:29:52| second time expectations that like how we go patience like the fluffy stuff is gone you're trying to figure stuff out this is more let's get real shit but not quite real shit but it's more real than
00:30:08| a first me yeah yeah right like if you're it's I don't know if you're a crazy person yet and I don't know if I care about you yet but I still have thought we're gonna cut some of the
00:30:19| bullshit from the first date stuff but not all of it I guess yeah son exam yeah so anyway I had a handful where it was like hey like just and even when I met them I was like hey I am not in any way
00:30:31| looking for anything permanent like I'd love to just keep it really casual I don't know if we'll really ever see each other again and every single dude is like cool yeah that's great let's do
00:30:43| that that's fantastic yeah and then it turns out it's not because apparently men also have feelings like what cool and I liked our conversation and yeah well yeah the
00:31:01| moment you're like I don't want it I just had a breakup let me talk about it yeah yeah like they want I've had too many times where I've been kind of friends with benefits with someone and
00:31:13| they flipped the switch and they're like I want it I just want I want to just sleep with you IRA my tattoo real that's what they're saying you guys are talking about me
00:31:23| yeah I'm very emotional person as you can tell from my recently Prine face my clean chest yeah it's the kind of person that's emotionally attached yeah pluck your eyebrows no no but uh in college I
00:31:38| always felt like I was going like for the series note so I was the guy that was like I don't know like a long-term relationship but I think that's the wrong way to go I think I should have
00:31:45| just been like let's try it like I want to try things out with whoever and let's see how that works out okay for some reason I was like really hooked I like getting deep into it mm-hmm feel like
00:31:59| they kiss on the say I do uh Susana have you ever been any of these other dating sites to round it out black people meet okay she's checking JDate okay um Christian mingle okay um
00:32:20| white date it's a European Caucasian only dating site its frowned upon and we can't hear your responses now can hear literally your like music no strong no latin love no I would that sounds right
00:32:40| oh yeah I think you have to be allowed to do it I'm really sorry anyway um so I read some pros and cons on all these this whole world of dating thing and um one of the pros of these
00:32:52| these websites that make it so easy and like it's like a cornucopia you have all this stuff to feast on if you really want you can find someone it's pretty easy when there's thousands of people to
00:33:01| go through you're gonna find someone better or good for you or whatever it helps some people get out of crappy relationships because they're not afraid it's not like they have to go to a bar
00:33:10| and meet seedy people they can go online as a joke at first start looking and all this stuff finding people and then maybe that's where they go yeah it's not recommending it quick transit Rob's is
00:33:21| it leads to a lot of emotional Affairs which is like hey I have a snapchat BFF I have a Twitter so-and-so I'm always in the DMS I have a work wife like this this happens way more than it did years
00:33:36| ago another thing that's a common effect this is from the 2018 business insider uh article from Shanna Leibovitz I'm just named Robin here since she's good anyway um these people spend less
00:33:51| time working on their current relationship I mean it sounds logical if you can find a new one why fix the old one especially it's fixing the old one it takes time and effort and a lot of
00:34:03| time a lot of effort finding a new one actually be easier I have a small interjection so there was a TED talk of someone talking about like the emotional reliance of sex
00:34:16| and like in the historical past someone who was looking for like a complete like emotional satisfaction they had like at their own village of people so the village of people would make them
00:34:26| satisfied and having all those relationships and those connections for some reason in today's age we're all kind of leaning towards a single person because there's a weird idea in our
00:34:36| heads that there's gonna be like a prince charming or princess and tower some bullshit that Disney soulless and we're looking for like the perfect person which doesn't exist I'm just
00:34:44| gonna throw that out there I think I've heard about that too of the idea of like even even when it's not a village it used to be you know like when men and women weren't really together that much
00:34:56| and that was the traditional relationship that was going on your closest confidants would usually be your friends or like a sister or something like that and then your partner would be
00:35:07| there to provide sex and financial support in general you know it'd be someone that you'd be raising a family with but you wouldn't necessarily expect them to be your therapist and your
00:35:18| workout buddy and just everything else yeah attached to the hip which is kind of so now scary is that is that what happens now I think so I mean hear about so many people who like understandably
00:35:34| and I think it works for a lot of people they say that their partner is their best friend and I think that that is really lovely in a lot of ways but for a lot of other people that's not really
00:35:44| feasible yeah that actually makes sense I think it's great if you actually hate your partner very passionate makeup sex that's all that matters right there's a duality yeah and then and then fighting
00:35:58| over money learning the way we raise money Emily and to death use like this rage fuck them yeah that's that's secret life of Dan right there have you ever oh no explain I mean there's there's times
00:36:17| where you getting in like a super heated fight where it's like you're like throwing things around and then it's like super like you're so angry at them you can't see them you don't want to
00:36:25| deal with them and then I guess both individually decide that like stupid let's just and then boom you're like you're going at it and it's hot and you're doing things that like are
00:36:35| completely just animalistic and you're just like almost ripping off clothing and getting in there and just like you're allowed to do like an extra layer of things that are not allowed normally
00:36:46| cuz like the mundane is just you know it sets limits on whatever you really want to do plus I guess if you're if there's no rules and you're pushing the scales of like having having like wild sex then
00:37:01| you can do things that are wrong especially if you just hate the Prabhu yeah you can push the limits to do whatever you want to try to do and if the relationship failed at that point
00:37:13| then it's like well whoever just had a huge fight so I guess it was gonna end anyway fireworks along sizzle I guess yeah plus then you get to get to be like
00:37:24| no no it wasn't cuz I like that weird thing it's because we had a fight yeah so that one time that was crazy the UM have you guys ever had sex with a woman this didn't happen and then as she
00:37:39| came or something she said I hate you and then you both finished around the same time and then afterwards you smacked each other in the shoulder and said I still hate you but that was great
00:37:55| sex yeah like literally that sense and it said in a very acidic way aged through clenched teeth through orgasmic clenched teeth but anyway hmm probably not like
00:38:12| psychology classes might tell us one thing so like if a guy's orgasming we're gonna skip right to the juicy points so if like I feel like you cannot anything when a guy's orgasming so if if like a
00:38:26| woman said like I cheated on you with your best friend and he's in the middle of an orgasm I don't but in the moment I mean that's the best time to break it to him right
00:38:38| no that's not worse for me yeah for that first short period of time yes it's literally a guilt-free go ahead oh great he might just might blow by him though
00:38:52| he might just be like oh he's gonna recall I was a little bit just a little bit I'm actually I've never I've never done that because it is a card that like people tell you to play up like whoa wow
00:39:05| you're going down on him like like in the movie Carrie where she like is blowing the guy in the car and she's like I want you to do me a favor and he's like I'll do whatever you want no
00:39:15| it's like pig blood on something but it's like you're gonna it's coming back in like two minutes it's yeah it's gonna come back and like you're gonna ruin the blowjob and like or just whatever you're
00:39:29| doing and unless you don't like the person I think that makes sense if you don't like the person and you're like I just want something from you and I don't care so the the before and after for men
00:39:42| and women I think is different to theirs like for men when they orgasm it's like everything's fantastic and then I don't care Tasha I like it's more realistic there's
00:39:53| a refractory period out there where you're just kind of like seeing things clearly no I get emotional like you cuddle and are you a cuddler nigga oh my god I want
00:40:03| to talk oh so to break it down really good at sex okay so come on super-sized bragging I do my thing okay everyone gets off everyone gets off we have a party
00:40:17| everyone loves it when I'm done like I just wanna like talk share things we just had this super intimate thing it's very magical I don't share that with just anyone
00:40:32| Susanna's jerking off her laptop I think she's really giving it the old right glass falling asleep and then they're snoring oh I could give both your dogs an orgasm
00:40:48| [Laughter] rym each other constantly uh-huh you know you gotta do what you gotta do yeah don't ants you know no I find like if you're gonna have sex with someone like
00:41:01| that's the most to me that's like it's the only thing that's off-limits when you're married it's like the only thing it's off-limits when you're in a relationship like for that reason alone
00:41:12| it's I think about it right what's off-limits having sex with someone Oh someone else yeah yeah someone else is if you're in a relationship with someone like that's that tells me that that
00:41:27| there's an onus placed on sex itself with that individual yeah I said onus yeah you all heard it that's an onus placed on that that it's so important that you can't have it with anyone else
00:41:39| like that's the only stipulation you can hate each other you can break things in your house you can do all sorts of stuff emotional chant have and like kissing other people is that allowed if your
00:41:49| significant other caught you can literally but guess what someone else said definitely not oh yeah but because it's the only thing that's literally it's the premise of relationships so
00:42:01| wait you can't have sex with other people I mean the legalese you're pretty you're pretty right like there are there are laws that say like so there's laws about alienation of
00:42:12| affection oh yeah if there's yeah if you're gonna if you're in a marriage and you have an emotional cheating situational emotional relationship and the person leaves the person who is left
00:42:26| can file for emotional alienation which means that yeah you can sue them for like a ton of money so you know legally there is some of that and then just well yeah I mean that's like if say there was
00:42:43| a woman who pulled me away from my wife and that woman is then legally suable by my wife and they can my wife can take money from her just to clarify yep hell yeah nice like
00:42:58| a happy relationship right before the person's a Nixon yeah but it's usually pretty easy because you're like look all these photos there was like yeah it's fucking
00:43:07| Facebook like okay yeah but it's like there's there's complications right with you know where where is the line within your relationship kind of like what you finding can't you know what what is
00:43:23| crossing line is kissing okay is you know talking to an ex okay is you know sleeping in the same bed as someone okay Dan would you rather have sex with me or kiss me I think the value he placed on
00:43:46| yeah I'm not answering oh my god motional tears I just want to hear you I guess if you could emotionally you know settle me down pillow talk I might I might swing for the former I want to see
00:43:58| you emotional and crying and teary-eyed I didn't say I cry all my better price that's that's in the light right now I'm just so much we're gonna have sex you're gonna cry that's how it's gonna work
00:44:12| you're gonna cry okay tears of joy you didn't specify which position but that's okay so let's focus back on sex like the first time that something sexual happened to you I guess the first time
00:44:28| like masturbation was wearing a bunch of pairs on underwear and I was like throw my legs in the air and rubble in my crotch and I was like there's like an egg photos I thought it was how many
00:44:48| pairs three four I have no idea I can't even number looking what pairs oh man somebody was saying I remember in like woohoo I'm gonna pee myself I keep doing this but it was a different
00:45:04| kind of Pig ah any idea somewhere between 11 and 13 probably yeah mine was the porn at night thing and I was just like messing with it and
00:45:18| then all of a sudden like I had an orgasm I was like I don't know what this is but it was amazing so wait with with the gang all there yeah and that I don't know that I expected anything cuz I
00:45:38| didn't no one ever said that like this is what happens and like they give you like some diagram of like the male and female parts and it's like they don't tell you that like this is good luck
00:45:47| yeah this is gonna put it together this is like IKEA furniture here you go good luck you're gonna get into a fight with another you're gonna reverse parts a and D and guess what you're gonna think C is
00:45:58| attractive and you're like what so there's a natural progression here the third member of our party is there a moment where you were like oh here ah yeah so y'all have been talking about
00:46:22| like masturbating and that was one of those things that like I thought I was just doing it wrong and it turns out it's just not something I can do totally on my own like I ran into a doorknob or
00:46:33| like a bedpost always used by rare I've gotten myself off like totally by myself I think one time I just hate it like which is weird I just don't like I said you is the opposite mm-hmm yeah so
00:46:54| actually like the first time I got off from masturbating wasn't until college so I lost my virginity at 16 to a boyfriend and it was really great and sweet and like the sex was horrible of
00:47:06| course but later ah right but like it was for what it could have been it was great but then I was in college and my roommate and I were really close and
00:47:16| like we talked about stuff we ended up going to like oh it's probably a hot topic or something similar each got something and it became my new favorite study break so yeah but as far
00:47:30| as like first sexual experience it was I mean it was probably I was really really awkward in middle school and I had my first boyfriend when I was a sophomore in high school and he was a senior and I
00:47:43| had no idea what I was doing and started getting sexual and I just like panicked and stopped doing anything and so nothing more than just like making out happen for probably about a
00:47:55| year I guess like a little bit more than that but I didn't notice that you don't right now you're getting very very serious and I needed some potassium you're full of shit nick has a banana
00:48:17| yeah and he he peeled it slowly very slowly seductively down right regular feed so the fact that I was like you know my generation had more internet then Wars like I didn't see porn until I
00:48:33| was in college either huh really so were you like yeah I was like I definitely was like no way that like if my parents knew about anything I did in their house they'd be like freaked out ya know I
00:48:46| like had sex in my house but I just never looked at porn into first oh boy so we looked at porn again this is my with them I'm like my rules are like nothing that we tell us someone who it
00:49:01| was my friend from college and I were on a trip to see a football game and she was with the person that she was sleeping with and was dating and I was a third wheel which I was used to but we
00:49:20| all ended up just kind of like messing or not messing around we didn't hook up to be clear but we ended up like on the computer looking at random stuff I think was like looking at you know random
00:49:28| YouTube videos and then we're like oh have you looked at these things and the first we ended up like just on youporn or whatever and clicked on one of the first things which now I know
00:49:39| never click on one the first time not getting the first porn I ever watched was like like a lesbian orgy where a bunch of them were in cages and they were like all tied up and it was really
00:49:57| intense and so it was like you really was and now I remember that late like that was before I think that was before getting the vibrators then after that I was like okay I don't want to watch porn
00:50:13| cuz that's too much like I don't know what to do with that so I would watch like yeah I've never told anyone this I would watch YouTube videos of like male model there's a bunch of like male
00:50:27| models just like posing and then there's some song a song like Oh constantly there were a couple pictures that would come up and I can like see them mines up I was like that would have been my most
00:50:49| watched videos your powers time all first time with yourself was crazytown butterfly with male models Wow Wow that's sorry there we go that is something I give a big shout out I mean
00:51:04| it's to the video yeah I have it I have a tangent like a minor tangent so the point that you see on all those sites all those sites are interconnected and there's a porn star soya that talked on
00:51:15| a podcast that spurred this innovation the sorry about last night guys we fucked podcast she said that like the person who controls all those porn sites like has a
00:51:24| certain agenda for like a certain type of porn and she said there's a variety of porn you just don't see it because it's all part of a giant punk llamaron so yeah my segue I believe it I mean I
00:51:37| totally blew it cuz you look at porn you're like I don't know I get a bunch of like step-sibling stuff and I have zero interest in that no no I'm not real I just know we did an episode on
00:51:48| horn that was like a scientific study on how many minutes people spent on the website etc etc I talked about this in work the other week and googled it apparently pornhub has released a more
00:51:59| extensive list it's all their users per country broken down per category most search terms what's crazy is on the rise is stepbrother stepmom Steph's note ever
00:52:13| taboo stuff it's always gonna be taboo stuff now that's not my cup of tea yeah it's not my thing but for whatever back your mole to whatever but um it was crazy each country was broken down and
00:52:30| like in Italy it was like Italia Bella Bella and we look with googled it was like just the Italian blowjob and all stack up that makes sense but like then fairies was like anole what country it
00:52:45| was I was like whoa that's nice all right on that line this is my this is one of my favorite questions to ask people for drinking games what is your search term like number one
00:52:59| first thing you search like what's the thing that you're like I got like I can always go for a less Dom situation cuz I love I love seeing two women bodies as opposed to a male body and a female body
00:53:12| like I love women a lot I'm super straight everyone ultra straight mega super mega super all just right but when then I also love to see some penetration so it's like you can get both here hmm
00:53:28| you know and both people have breasts both people are beautiful both there's a little bit of control going on I dig it I don't know that's my thing I mean it's oh I have a very search
00:53:40| results but it's just I just that goes tops so good I like the casting stuff I don't know the casting couch you like that there they're acting like they don't want to do it and then they're
00:53:52| getting paid to do it or they on the bus or the I think I like I like the repulsive and then the total flip where they're just like oh we're not like I am a porn
00:54:04| star here let's not fake anything and it skips right to it I think that's one of the most paid with morning subscription sites do you pay for planes know who pays for porn lady
00:54:13| in the streets or people there are people who do dirty and sheets I don't know how the guy who I really had to like prove to him this guy who had more pornography saved to his hard drive than
00:54:33| anyone else known to man we're gonna talk about this not me well I was just bringing up you to date someone had so much pornography saved to their hard drive that it was something labeled oops
00:54:46| or whatever or not taxes on multiple hard drives I drowned like three hard drives I got really mad anymore hurts yeah yeah you know what I can I think all of my sense that person all the
00:55:13| people I've dated should should thank that person because I'm into way weirder stuff now oh yeah what's your sir what's my search yeah we had to go I usually go gaming oh really like a
00:55:30| party like more than five people what ratio I just really like to see a girl just get like destroyed if it's not a gangbang it's usually James Dean which I'm less like well I'm more embarrassed
00:55:41| by that I mean James no no don't look up James Dean how do I not know this have you the both of you have you been involved with our multiple partners at once ah there was a more enjoyable hmm
00:55:59| there's an almost enjoyable I don't know I'll give you a list of almost suit a list of almost what does that even mean okay there were several times worried could have closed some three-way deals
00:56:13| but I don't want to share my story about I don't know kind of one do but this guy he's not hadn't had enough to drink yeah well no there was I'll do it quickly so there was there was a time when I was
00:56:27| like 20 seconds quick trying to so there were two friends that like me they were in my parents basement and one on one to the bathroom and the other one I looked at for half a second and she grabbed my
00:56:40| cock and then she started jerking me off like instantaneous that's pretty good she stomped the moment her friend walked downstairs the two girls looked at each other got up and started like karate
00:56:52| kicking each other because they both wanted me so I was like this is unbelievable like I could have spun it in a certain way to like maybe have like a threesome but not when they're kicking
00:57:03| yeah don't don't yeah you're losing their agency Dan okay tougher feminism here their agency would have to include love for each other you're just cluding that cuz you're a
00:57:16| man missa I don't trust that they actually they're so passionate that they got angry and there I was banking on the make up sex but they never have it open the way sometimes so I think that was
00:57:30| like it was Nick yeah yeah my you Nick can't get too into it but yes very very many times three people very very many two guys one girl she disgraced one girl another girl me so a lot of four lokos
00:57:52| wild nights a lot of what's a four loko drink drinks really don't know this I don't know I don't have that oh my god do two for local do some weird stuff here there's something in it called
00:58:05| wormwood and I swear it makes me feel like I forget they say it makes you to loosen eight there's no booze nation you just get all jacked up drunk as hell and then I don't know just be a product of
00:58:19| me yeah so hmm I'm still this you would just like make a weekly habit of this you would just like constantly drink four loko and talk to people it was a it was a
00:58:31| three-way relationship for a while Polly whoever at Murray hammers that sounds like fun cheese didn't it didn't end with three people in love you know that wouldn't make sense
00:58:43| it never does folks at home yeah I was kind of surprised that you said like oh this sex is the one thing you can't do outside of relationship and I was like I've been in open relationships right
00:58:55| but I'm encouraged it was a - both people though you know I can't like I couldn't be Polly I'm very happily open in certain spaces but I like loving one person is so intense monster oh yeah
00:59:11| it's one of the articles I read it was like this is exhausting the person who hates online dating they're like there's so many choices I had so many websites I saw a knife or I have to do so many
00:59:21| logins I have to approve my bio I have to verify my email and then I have to figure out which of the guys on the website I said yes to which ones I said no to which ones I was serious about
00:59:31| which one I did this with and then which one I'm setting up a second date with and they were like this is exhausting and they were like I'm quitting online dating I'm just gonna go back to just
00:59:41| trying to meet guys walking dogs everything which did you know is the number two bait gutter I know dog park is the key yeah it's the cyber dating site I didn't actually see what number
00:59:57| one was but this is number two so maybes [Laughter] okay so all the pictures I see are like of women it's always like selfies selfies it freaks me out so many women
01:00:18| use filtered pictures for their course they do this is kind of like too much to you doesn't it I don't see so you scroll through guys pictures all time till tell me if this
01:00:28| is true or not whether you're swiping right or left is there like a group of guys that collect pocket and now like that's their thing oh my god they like show off that they have
01:00:37| like five potty lines I'm and you're like whoa these guys are pretty hot blade notice so far I've had three okay we got a couple lists would this be exist robot package no that would be a
01:00:50| screenshot I would screenshot the shit yeah thing are there guys who like either fish or actively have this or that it's like weird like so this weekend I was with a friend traveling
01:01:12| down from Iowa back to North Carolina we actually played one of my favorite games on social or on dating apps which is left or right where you see a picture of two people you try to guess which ones
01:01:23| profile it is read the profile enjoy the picture no no you look at the picture because it like it'll pop who's trying to be the date of like one guy show that's not gonna be offended so I'll
01:01:36| show you what my humble profile looks like and so a picture pops up and the fish if there was a fish in it we would count we if it was like two people we'd say which one is it you know it says
01:01:46| Dylan is that the dude on the left or the right and then you swipe down and be like oh go by name yeah or where's my profile okay edit profile is that what we're doing
01:02:03| men these pictures are like it's something that they chose but it has to be on like another social media platform or is bumble like direct you just choose they can be anything so let's see will
01:02:14| this work yeah that's this is my profile all that's so you see like my name whatever we can include whatever information we want my picture audible yeah out of all the pictures I've seen
01:02:29| yeah actually so I used to have one that was great when my hair was longer um but this one it doesn't matter as a woman like if you look like a human they'll usually match cuz there's no limit
01:02:44| okay like my version of your awful is like get rid of them and most guys that I've seen like get to the point where they can't like anyone else that day because they've maxed out world of
01:02:57| internet dating is so cold personalized now it's so weird like like I mean I don't ask me what it's like and I basically I said it's like shopping for people with a gift card we're like you
01:03:14| still you want to get something good you want you know you want to use your time and and your resources thoughtfully but you also don't have that much of a like buy-in you know it's like a gift card
01:03:27| that someone else gave to you and you're like a metric almost yeah so the girls gonna eat podcast Ashlee Heseltine and rain and Greenberg good friends of the podcast I love them both they do a
01:03:44| podcast and they talked about 20 19 was the year of love so apparently like the past three years these dating apps come up it's like sex boom what's bang let's get crazy hot guy boom hot guy save that
01:03:57| one even um there's a gay guy I work with like all he does is look at the the gay one where you can um find her wolf is it wolf it's the one where you can wolf and a guy so it must be called like
01:04:10| something with a dog joke and all he does all day is just look online and wolf and guys and like swipe right but that's like when you're getting empowered that's what all you want to do
01:04:20| after a while that probably gets boring three four years into the road people are looking for more and the girl is going to eat podcasts talked about this but the Cornucopia will end they said
01:04:32| women will finally get serious about this kind of thing they're gonna look for guys who have steady jobs so now look for if they're looking for financial that's where they're gonna go
01:04:41| look her guys are big peepees that's where they go you know I mean they do what they want to do what's interesting though is that the women are empowering themselves here where they don't feel
01:04:52| obligated to date anymore twenty years ago if someone set you up on a date you had to go oh my god we have to go now you kind of hold the power it's like we don't have
01:05:03| to go creeps there's probably a lot of creeps on the internet for women you're like nope swipe the other way you kind of hold the keys to sex resisting some discomfort
01:05:16| situations it's a different game and there's good things to it and there's probably some bad things where maybe you're gonna get overindulged and oversaturated and you're not gonna be
01:05:28| able to find mr. right I don't know because you're looking for something else every five seconds is that a thing yeah I think I think so I think I'm not heard that so much of a thing as your
01:05:42| partner getting insecure because I've been on both sides of it okay I've been the partner who's been like wait why are you still looking I thought you know we're exclusive what are you doing and
01:05:53| it's like oh no I'm just I'm just talking to people or I'm just like trying to lean all of those apps I'm just looking around exactly and then I've been the other side where it's late
01:06:04| you you know the person I like but let's yeah yeah they're like why are you looking for something else I'm like no it's just kind of it's kind of fun and it's nice to have some people being like
01:06:14| oh you're cute and yeah so I think I don't at least for me it's not so much that I go on there and second-guess if I should be in my relationship it's more the opposite way whereas if somebody
01:06:25| else is like if my partner is doing that then I'm second-guessing the relationship where I'm like really this is what you're doing instead of talking to me about the problem but yeah I don't
01:06:38| know there's also new times that come out um being kept on the hook do you ever get a thing where like you always swipe on a guy and he's he's constantly there and he's like yo we
01:06:49| should meet one time maybe next week or something and like he's never serious in like six weeks go by and he's still in your letter box or your mentions or this and you're like good lord it's just
01:06:59| never gonna happen but he doesn't want to like oh he's like no you're really cute I really want to meet you then there's also online dating fatigue I never heard that time there's polyamory
01:07:08| there's being ghosted well that's the is one where it's like hey yeah it was great I love meeting you I think we should do it again you don't hear anything like hey hey notice you didn't
01:07:22| respond I know you had a lot of fun you literally left we had super great sex yeah anyway what's up yeah there's nothing yeah it's it says that stuff didn't happen before it's weird it's the
01:07:34| new world with new things going on have you all heard the term satellite you come back a little kind of it's even weirder it's like it's like orbit you can also call it orbiting but I like
01:07:50| satellite even better it's where the person like you've gone a couple dates it doesn't work out like you're just not it's just not gonna happen but then they stay on all of your
01:07:59| social media apps and like they're watching all of their stories liking everything so I definitely have a couple of those where I've got like some satellites where continuous lockers yeah
01:08:10| continuous Lakers or people who just like watch every single story but I haven't talked to in a year and a half so do you see who sees wait well that's what snapchats interesting for that
01:08:22| region see who's looking at your story oh yeah yeah instagrams the same way you can see who's looking at you know it's not sorted by anything really I mean it's sort of my stuff but you can't
01:08:32| change it you can't like search who's been looking at it so but if you only have 200 followers you can figure it out at this point I can't I used to be able to scroll through me like oh this
01:08:43| person's really keeping tabs but now it's just like random hmm hmm how about all these terms change that's kind of cool like I mean it sucks I mean you come up with make bad things you do good
01:08:56| things here's the question for both y'all and so you go home and date right and the guy reaches into his wallet to pay for dinner and he goes oh my god this dropped out oh it's a sore ex
01:09:08| RealFeel non-latex okay that means you're not gonna be allergic no matter what is that like a guy you trust in or hold on what if this falls out and he's like oh my god I didn't mean for you to
01:09:21| see that that's a warm sensation from Jim they're like damn that's gonna get warm real quick and then you're like I'm not sure if I'm in today Thanks so then he pulls out
01:09:34| this you got no no you got a meaningful ultra smooth with lubricant oh that's pretty all right yeah you know I mean like is that the one the crazy ripples the spikes on the end yes no that's what
01:09:51| we're getting right here this is a twisted lubricated oh my god if this guy pulled this out of his wallet I'd bang in tonight and then last but not least folks he's all expired about five years
01:10:05| ago let's not worry about it this is the king if you see this in his wallet he's a keeper it's her pleasure lubricated sensations like that's wild that's all I'm doing
01:10:20| that guy right there uh-huh anytime I wear a condom it doesn't feel as good for me I'll put it that way of course not really no if anybody says it feels the same way they're like a sex
01:10:32| ed teacher that's the only person who says that yeah I had a girlfriend that was allergic to like the other condom so I were like the lamb spice yeah oh the microbiologist is freaking out
01:10:44| so is it feels different it feels probably better but she wears cheap cuts under probably I think they used to use like yeah intestines yeah sausage sausage casing but yeah it
01:10:59| doesn't feel as good and then for women I don't think it feels is good for women either regardless of like how it's for her pleasure oran in there yeah all of them are crap
01:11:09| I can use me warm it's like ultra thin and lubricated I guess I don't know I wasn't the least shitty I kinda want to walk through like a like if someone's gonna have sex with you it's the first
01:11:21| time you're having sex like what kind of awkwardness occurs and like what do you help with what do you hope works out and then like how I guess the first time second time third time it gets better
01:11:34| right but if you allow them to be there it all depends on the person I guess and then both persons that's why I think sex is the most important thing it's like a it's an unwritten chemistry I figure out
01:11:47| who's given who's getting who's who's getting closer who's not getting closer who's gonna hold off for a little bit to let the other person go who's gonna be unselfish he's gonna eat it selfish
01:11:56| who's gonna be wild who's gonna be fuckin they want this they just don't know they want it like who's you don't know like then you need someone experimental selfless and with a very
01:12:09| thick wiener anyway anyway um so the difference between like men and women is kind of ridiculous in this area cuz like if a man just walked out like completely naked like a woman would be like oh are
01:12:24| you sure that untanned early huh but if a woman walked completely naked into my room I'd be like well alright then it would be almost instantaneous woman is that a situation where she's like
01:12:41| chilling out and purl all her clothes and some guy that she's dating just walks in naked it's like that's you're welcome like I'm not I feel unwelcome right now I have never done that to a
01:12:54| woman ever oh I don't think again it's like not every dude does this but it's like I do it every day I'm just trying everybody every stranger on the street my stepsister my
01:13:09| step-brother two-step anything for the record popular and porn search results but oh that's no yes now he can't get a promo for these let's get crazy those are interesting yeah they're like
01:13:30| silicone or like really quick you get a little quickie is rubber handcuffs which are easy to put on take off it's not don't show up in any security uh things they're not overtly sexual can get them
01:13:46| oh it looks like it's a little sexy plastic ring thing so you be like those are from like two beers that's the thing with all the all the toys and stuff it's like that's a budding industry oh it's a
01:14:00| budding industry too but like that's a huge downside with most short-term things is that like you either have it established when you're going in that it's gonna be some kind of weird shit
01:14:15| would you go so here for weird shit but how do you pre man up are you like before we get crazy I'm in the word shit anyways would I wish people would because you can I guess it's nice it's
01:14:31| all super kinky I mean I did a guy for a while we're on our first date he basically said like you know what do you look like you know just kind of casual and he's like well what do you like and
01:14:49| I I told him I was like I like to be used and he's like okay check you know and it worked out really well with our different proclivities but again like I want to make it clear I haven't if I was
01:15:03| less if I liked people more I would sleep with way more people but actually having people I gave them in rotation for a really long time which are these numbers I got it for the show
01:15:15| did you yeah for you'll have to do it I'm only four I'm not that many that's a pretty sensitive and delicate soul my god I should have like three oh I have the huge still can yeah so cam but I
01:15:35| think I'm in like six maybe seven oh wow so you guys a winner but I've been in long-term relationships for my whole life yeah nine year a four year a four year
01:15:47| and like a I think it's from our uh purring hits it's like they could it's a natural thing to be like when I stay in lot relationship yeah maybe I don't know I mean I think what's interesting for me
01:15:59| is like five of those came from a bottle like it ten day period a couple years ago where a motor nap used always tip it was said it's also if I wanted to sleep with five
01:16:11| women in ten days I don't think that it's possible for a man like maybe if a man's with Superman who able it would be very difficult for me he'll battle you have to have like really low standards
01:16:24| yeah as a woman it's a lot easier but it was amazing like I didn't realize my first time really using tinder and I was whose woman's relationship that I was out of it just been like shitty forever
01:16:35| and so ended and I got onto tinder and people thought it'd be easy but I did not understand how easy I was on a three-hour you said beer question mark eggplant like that's what you see Pat
01:16:50| like what oh yeah so I like I found I found this guy and he was like literally he's like I'm in town for a couple nights you know we'd love to meet up with
01:17:01| people and I was like sold he's cute it's not gonna be here for a while and I reached out to him like we matched and I said hey what are you doing a night Beauvoir and he's like oh this you know
01:17:12| you wanna grab food and I was like actually I've already eaten do you want just come over oh yeah fantasy of mine out is it that easy for me like if it's attractive order a human so he came over
01:17:27| we like chatted for a bit ah I adore him I'm sure he's never gonna watch this podcast because he like speaks French better than English he was a traveling toy salesperson and he
01:17:38| brought me a microbiology board game whoa yeah swipe right yeah and it was amazing it was bizarre he left like the next day haven't seen him since so that was sort of that whooshing I was like I
01:17:55| can do anything and and then I did so but yeah it wasn't that fun it turns out like every one-night stand is pretty much the same so there's like part of it that I thought I feel like people like
01:18:09| hold back the emotional part where they like do anything for you not know if they're like a slave or anything but like the physical part completely empty if you're not like
01:18:17| completely she's into it if you're not completely into it then then it's like you want that emotional piece where they're gonna cry and cuddle afterwards because they're super whatever nick is
01:18:29| so like I feel like most people want that like yearning for a deep connection not the physical part is necessary but after you get the orgasm out of the way you're just like what get out of my bed
01:18:41| I'm tired of you that's physiological and physical she kicks me out yeah I don't want them in my bed that's the thing like I love protective I love
01:18:55| my room I love my dogs I'm like space and the problem is is that I usually are all unfortunately like continued talking to people longer than I want to hmm certainly obligatory that kind of a
01:19:10| thing yeah I just feel kind of bad so you let it linger even though you know it's over essentially yeah she's being polite I understand that it's like a goddamn it I messed up my hair I know
01:19:24| what the did I lost then it's over smell what now just look at it it's up date waiting with this this I'm not gonna get any swipe rights tonight now yeah yeah I've always wondered what's
01:19:39| the worst thing I could say I'm entender and then to sabotage it but still getting success oh oh yeah no I a friend took mine and he was like can I just do whatever I want like yeah I don't care
01:19:52| and he like asked some dude if he could fuck him with a strap-on and the guy was like I mean if I could do it to you nicely no you're know for that I'm a no Nick
01:20:03| are you a no fan I mean it mix it to it [Laughter] no no all right last last text question where is the most hmm should we go with exciting or
01:20:24| public place you've had sex they different I'm only the most public was just like with door open like I had a like it was a college apartment but like the like the
01:20:41| the door to the hallway was open and we just had sex like right and put on the doorway that's like playing car sex while you're driving like Doughboy I mean I've done the fingering while
01:20:52| you're driving and stuff but it's not you say that so my favorite joke to tell my um my oldest friend Dan is it like you know I finger this girl's so hard like the reason it's a funny joke is
01:21:08| because like that's that's how we started our sexcapades like we would have girls and we would make out with them and dryer or washing machine just goes we'll put our hands in across from
01:21:18| them totally bond wear the pants and like that was like getting to like that was it turn I don't like home and if you could figure girl you were in like post but looking back on it it's like hey
01:21:35| girl yeah that's terrible that more people should do that I think so but you have to know what you're doing a little bit not like I did like you don't know where
01:21:45| the thing I like how are things are oriented as like a teenager most people don't oh yeah oh like I function every oh I have a book recommendation so there's
01:21:58| this book it's called she comes first it has like a papaya on the front I empire even this book to multiple men because it if they're like if gentlemen hey describing stuff
01:22:13| I hate being like I want this thing cuz I don't have any idea I'm like main let's see what Circle page 97 yeah so I've just given this book I'm liking it depends on the individual to different
01:22:24| tongues were shaped different fingers or shape different people move different people's wieners are shaped different peoples wieners oriented different peoples hard-ons pointing different
01:22:31| angles like everything is different I get anything for the female side things are a little different yeah oh yeah 100% yeah where's my phone though you know like
01:22:41| guys different shapes of joystick you know what all the buttons do but like when the women it's sort of like choose your adventure you don't really know what's gonna happen you hope I get one
01:22:52| end point but action-y Ordinance they were variable so way more variables how did you figure out that you were into women oh that's a good question so yeah I think looking back I should have known
01:23:06| it forever ago cuz I remember the third Harry Potter movie when Emma Watson like Hermione Granger punches Malfoy in the face and I was like oh she's not teen and that's and that seemed awesome yeah
01:23:23| I was probably 12 though so but yeah so there was that and then you know there's always been like I would get in college I would get drunk and like make out with every woman around but then I would
01:23:35| still make out what guys - it was just you know but yeah it was I was always this idea of like oh when I get drunk I make out with women and then again looking back I was like oh I was getting
01:23:47| drunk so I could have excuses to do that but it was actually kind of funny so in Iowa it just wasn't an option really like you could be gay but that like looked like a certain thing and I
01:23:58| definitely was into men and then I came here to North Carolina and it's just like a much more open area and I had this like this it reminds me the same thing of when you like you know you were
01:24:15| walking past a restaurant and like you can smell giving leaving sounds great you want to go leave you're talking about something gathering and you're like yeah
01:24:23| go on watch your mouth now that's if you have a single role of like if you turn a side wit like never turn this way because you get a fat roll or like I would recommend um yeah I know we've
01:24:39| definitely like reached out and chatted a few times but it's like 50 years old he held out a dollar so that she would dance with him and she was oh my oh shit I've heard it I've heard
01:24:52| it called the pot of gold but I'd I don't know why cuz cuz looks better first experiences our last experiences our goof-ups our fun ones are awesome ones like
00:00:20| the sex talk folks so I'm Dan and I'm Nick both for old friends dissecting one topic at a time people technology media we've got it all covered each discussion here is a deep dive in or unique
00:00:40| perspective taboo forbidden subjects they're all on the chopping block baby we don't pander to popular opinion with Mike you can get a little bit dirty good morning this podcast may contain mature
00:00:53| language and sexual context and this protein meant purposes only so join us have a good time open up your earholes [Music] all right so we're back with the third
00:01:20| installment of Susannah I think Harris guest can't shake them all sometimes I think by the third time you're not only a guest you're a friend so thank you I'm grade we got a
00:01:37| friendship upgrade it is a third date that's perfect the way to go I don't use oh that podcast I watched just went live you guys mind I get notifications to my watch at home
00:01:52| maybe you should too you know so where does it go life - I never had this that's fine through twitch twitch okay cool which yeah you know I would love to watch it along but I'm busy during most
00:02:08| of their shows live should I watch the recorded version mm-hmm and also goes to YouTube periscope you now smash cast mixer VK and someplace else a couple of those sure those are all my Russian
00:02:21| sites yeah I'm sure whatever we say here can be you know brought back can mm-hmm mmm you just bleep it out to leave it from the internet so is this like another episode that will all want
00:02:37| deleted back after it's released are we going on place with so many people we know and use relationships we used to yeah that's the idea I think but the worst point I've had so
00:02:48| I said not in the negative directory sense just you know had to delete that out you say were you reading um like lyrics to a song that's the only I can see that yes please say you were just
00:03:02| say you were no no the backstory was that like one of Nick's previous co-workers was harassed and I thought that was why I was like did he say that's what uh you were asking he said
00:03:14| if it didn't say it myself that's how PC I am so we're gonna delve into the secrets of Dan Nick and Susannah here Oh sexual experiences let's talk about sex
00:03:27| that's what he would sound like if he was singing now cuz he's probably old who is that right Fred said yeah I mean the cheat codes did make a remix of that song so I know that one codes mm-hmm I'm
00:03:45| too old I don't know who they're yesterday that's fine I'll just chug along do they that's not there does a ridge that was a remake right or is that the original let's talk about sex
00:04:00| yeah pepper I always thought it is man oh yeah well that's salt or is that pepper I'm not even him huh she uh there's my eye I felt 101 all right whatever
00:04:17| through this podcast you guys will notice that's Creedence do you do that for days Nick heard it's been so long I don't know if I would like you mean a preparation just did you save the middle
00:04:34| oh no guys I'm bringing this back you should have let someone else he did the whole side with well I call this the landings it's either pointing to his chin where he had hair previously oh
00:04:51| yeah there is no angle it's a sex message the kids will get it the adult children all right all right moving in serious experts already like very off the rails right yeah blame Nick
00:05:14| mm-hmm I guess let's talk about like first figuring out what's going on because I guess there's like 12 years of your life where you have no idea about sex and then puberty hits you and then
00:05:26| no one tells you anything so I guess who wants to start about it's the beginning of their figuring out about their sexual life I'll tell you guys the average of virginity ages loss
00:05:38| of virginity in America oh yeah right now they're at American men I guess 16.9 years okay I'm asking women seven seventeen point two okay closer than I thought right um the
00:05:53| virginity rate also in high school has gone down dramatically it used to be most kids lost their virginity by high school I think by junior senior year was like 54% hmm now that number is down to
00:06:07| percent sure why I can find a tional teen pregnancies down to that's good no that's down like to a third of what he used to be I don't remember the exact number but I mean that's good I guess
00:06:24| right yeah yeah that's probably it's probably good I don't know my first like understanding of what's that like okay so in fifth grade or something they separated the boys and girls and turns
00:06:36| out they told the boys like how to wear deodorant yeah that's in the talk talk about that we doesn't talk yeah it's like responsible and then to the girls they teach us about like tampons and
00:06:48| that you're gonna be embarrassed for the rest of your life but other than that I think ludes show mannitol hoping you're going to feel shitty tell you they tell you how to put everything in it
00:06:59| everything or they like vague about it they're like well I'm in the crowd yuck yeah but I think you know my parents were pretty open but I think actually where I got most of my understanding
00:07:22| from sex was from Sex in the City it used to do reruns on like TBS I used to watch that so that version when I grew up and I actually watched the Unrated or like the well yes
00:07:37| Showtime I think they need to be over yet HBO yeah it was usually that version was was a little bit more but like he's still you pick up a lot on the on the like 15 14 so yeah the age gap
00:07:53| lanique and i are both like 33 ish I think you're like five years [Music] yeah I'm 26 26 okay so the gang do the math yeah no numbers I'm just trying to
00:08:10| figure out cuz like the the interview because I blend stuff allows you to understand things much better than what Nick and I had which was it was very little that's right so like we got that
00:08:26| school talk and my parents pretty much they sat awkwardly in a parking lot and said do you know about this stuff and I go yeah I guess I like good don't
00:08:39| get anybody pregnant and then it's like that was all I had and then I didn't know how to do anything for like until I was like 15 14 I was watching uh was it like stars or
00:08:51| prism which I don't think exists anymore after all a prism 1ft after 1:00 a.m. in the morning like really nasty porn - and like my friends would stay up at my house in the basement and we'd wait til
00:09:05| one o'clock that's like the clock rolled over and then like all sudden come on it was an experience that's almost romantic via the clock then that's crazy other you like first really learn about sex
00:09:22| through porn or mmm doing it I think well funniest was when my parents tried to talk to me about it I was like 15 and they were like hey like this is my dad he's just meet with him us actually so I
00:09:39| know you've had you know about the birds and the bees and we don't have to give you that talk but uh we were gonna give that talk to your sisters you have any advice or anything like and you talk to
00:09:49| other kids or something and I was like no I don't know dad and he's like you have a good talk and he left I didn't want to have the talk and he's wanting to make sure I knew so he was like
00:09:58| making an excuse he did this later when he was talking about death he I think it was like 13 and a relative he's like in death so I gotta talk to your sisters about
00:10:09| your great-aunt dying do you think how do you think they'll take it I remember it being like I don't I don't know I guess just tell them they're with God or I don't know I didn't know what he
00:10:19| wanted it was like a quiz or something he was like yeah you're pretty you're good about it right and I was like I'm fine dad and he's like all right good dog
00:10:27| so like both times it was like not really a talk to me it was to talk about someone else and I think they were just like he's he's got we don't have to do this yeah so I don't know where I think
00:10:38| I just learned it from talking with other kids in Sakai yeah and like the sources of porn I guess we're like we that's prism and start oh and they yeah this magazine its Playboy which we found
00:10:52| like one in my friends basement and then we just like all went crazy because we didn't know what how to take it cuz none of us had been told you know what's funny every time when I was really young
00:11:03| I would look at a Playboy and when they would show the woman's like total like dimples and vagina I was always like I know I said the big words there look I would be like I mean like it cuz I'm not
00:11:17| used to seeing them and I was like whoa and it wasn't like a hot turn-on thing it was more like a that's Weir's do yeah and then they were like always pale because I guess tan lines were in in the
00:11:31| at it and I'd be like whoa that's the part that they never show this is crazy and I'd be like okay let's turn the page like that's that's sort of like how it is I still feel like that sometimes when
00:11:44| you hook up with dudes in the summer where you're like mmm he's cute and they take something all this closer like okay this is a part I don't see as often well you say you're like it's less sexy how
00:12:00| to judge this there's no sunlight that hits this there's not a lot of people that judges you don't do much with it except punch it in the mouth over and over you know the weird thing
00:12:14| Wow that is a terrible way to describe sex with masturbation I was describing masturbation No when he sees that that's all he does oh my god no that's not really mouth
00:12:32| it's like sex in the worst area in the world that's that's a full-blown that's bad news uh-huh I'll tell you guys this is a segue in second grade I remember this
00:12:47| because it involves my one friend who always listens to the podcast what the Famicom okay the kid behind me I remember Greg fever he hung we had prayer cards they gave
00:12:59| out and it was like I forget which scene it was but you know what a prayer card was maybe like a trans masturbation oh yeah one thing Catholic school but then yeah right just in a leaper kinds of
00:13:09| parts chasidy chastity chastity well they handed in second cream they weren't talking about sex Jesus Christ chin no prayer cards it was like Saint Athanasius or something on the back of
00:13:20| it has a saint day and what he was known for and where he could study more and then in the Bible so Greg from behind me wrote s e X on the prayer card and he thought it was
00:13:30| the funniest thing because he wrote sex it was just a bad word I didn't even know what it was and he handed it to me and my teacher saw him hand it to me and I remember this is melon head we'll call
00:13:40| her she came over and she's she's like an 80 some year-old woman in my head I'm not sure how old she really was probably like 60 three-team over walking to a grave at night on the blood of mortal
00:13:54| she comes over and she sees me crumpling something to my desk and she reaches it and pulls it out and UNCHR umple it in front of me and Greg him went oh no and she took us both into the hallway and
00:14:05| this is I still remember what she said because I didn't I didn't know what sex was I just know it was a bad word she was like sex between two adults through the eyes of God is a beautiful thing and
00:14:16| I was thinking myself I don't know what this lady's talking about but I better just be quiet and she was like but what you did here today is bad this is not to be whatever and she ripped the prayer
00:14:27| card and to shaking because she and then they told my parents that I wrote sex regret card and I didn't write it Greg rode it that was my first
00:14:39| interaction with um sex actually card so I want to know when like you you did a really good job of explaining when the average philosopher Jinna T was but especially on the coattails of talking
00:14:52| about being like repressed Catholics yes when was that for you guys cuz I was not ever Catholic but actually repressed Catholics are like my favorite type my family left almost yeah Wow that's weird
00:15:08| sorry like two days ago I figured out my type in men well we're gonna get real personal but my type of event is cuz I'm like is there anything that links these people together I asked a couple of them
00:15:20| it turns out it's like big dicks and electric toothbrushes like that's wow that's really weird well what's it's interesting you bring that up
00:15:32| what Dad hope you had a tree push right there any any granite salesmen worth his weight in marble knows this I just get yeah that big everyone's hands are different sizes but mine's the same
00:15:59| every time around yeah oh yeah yeah I'm very wide but very short that's the way life goes folks um Oh what I was gonna say is um loss of virginity so mom turn off the podcast and I was right before
00:16:23| he turned 14 so it's 13 early whatever yeah and beating the odds yeah I did beat the I was a little younger was it good and I did it with a just isolate that sound bar I just I
00:16:37| write to jail I did it with a 14 year old to like a year later so when you think about it like I could get arrested for all the things I say right here was it the same person or was that
00:16:52| a new one no that one was the same person okay boy holy crap nothing fresh Lance a pipe yeah ten year old wow it took me until college for said early college it
00:17:12| took me that long it's like a high school guy holy crap so there that so that was excused in high school I used to this is embarrassing I used to get online and like chat with
00:17:23| a lot of women little girls my age I guess they're like a year old sounds like you I can see this yes ASL thing you like a text location yeah and then you you start talking to I mean you get
00:17:34| really like into their brains cuz that's why you can get personal personalized and he starts rolling out some new stains and pictures look at you yeah I guess so
00:17:47| I may be once so there's probably a dick pic out there somewhere floating on there my junk we've got were sent one day pic or just renaming one over and over and over the key there is that when
00:18:12| I found him like really cool with women that were they would like talk me up so like some of the high school women high school friends they actually started chatting with them for some reason like
00:18:24| in the computer lab because he could bring up the like the messenger and I had one one woman who talked about how she went down on me so all the people that were my friends in that computer
00:18:35| class thought that I was getting busy so I had a reputation amongst all that I guess all the Nerds especially our friend named Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy F she was just like playing me up for no reason so
00:18:53| it took a while for me to like actually progress because I feel like I was stunted in that area which I think most people do feel that way wait listen you get into ruts like it
00:19:04| depends where you hang out and who you hang out with the problem is that I could never like I was so shy that I could never meet people like I would never be like hi I'm Dan I like you
00:19:13| you're cute when I go do something like they would I was there the sex club yeah okay you can't do that this bar around the street they will let underage women in can you guys go to fifth base yeah
00:19:24| fifth base that's anal as was anal sex is so not taboo anymore it appeared in a editorial in teen vogue team group yes I just read this online today and I was like 19 or 18 vogue like aim it towards
00:19:50| okay that's true so it was for me to sex in the city and then Cosmopolitan magazine I still get compliments from the stuff I learned on in Cosmo so Cosmo can be
00:20:02| great you also learn to like use sunscreen and sometimes shave with the grain not a Corinne stand against it I mean it depends I'd no idea does have a name it's gotta have a name no I I just
00:20:23| made it up I made it up tonight I needed to do something look guys I put on like a shirt look because I felt we were gonna also talk about dating in the world today and I was like this is what
00:20:35| I would wear look at this weather was my wife's like standard for sleeping with my whole leg skinny leg man that's my leg that's what your skinny jeans Wow Wow I'm just wearing pajamas I could
00:21:00| hear you guys might hit thumbs below so those were mine this is mine if I were on a date outfit it also happens on sex that was a different problem I'm trying
00:21:14| to look good for a date but you're like ah man I thought we were talking about dating so I look good you're just like well sorry you start out with like this is what it is right this is what you get
00:21:25| how do you know if it's gonna be a strictly sex talk but like there's something interesting about all the dating apps and the swiping and the sex only apps that are out now that you can
00:21:35| I think it's changed - thanks bumble yeah three tender all those riders all those bad boys and I think so if we were to switch over to just a dating for a quick piece so we can get off the hot
00:21:48| and heavy stuff about who we had sex with him what car one we could just talk about dating in general and how it's literally changed in the past 20 years entirely mm-hmm I think I read a study
00:21:59| in 2017 at 19 percent of brides last year met their spouse online 1980 yeah I know some couples in marriage from like match shit that's I mean but that's way different than when I went to high
00:22:15| school or something there was a term online dating but that was like it wasn't what it was a taboo thing people were ashamed yeah he went on there yeah it was almost like a joke now the
00:22:28| opposite is true I think you're like I'm just going to the ball and trying to meet some people it's like whoa slow down try a dating application oh yes a dating app that you can open on your
00:22:41| phone so I had a list of some of the more popular ones have you season ever tried any of these yeah I'll race three four I will try let's all raise my hand match.com no you have to pay for that
00:23:00| one oh yeah I didn't know that no eat singles check that one up you did that one what's away details I couldn't figure it out I thought it was hella good
00:23:09| marketing and then the people on there are not good it also has to do with age range like mm-hmm is it an older crowd yeah like matches is good for like you know a right around
00:23:23| close sort of like 35 to 50 interesting now why is it called elite the money or looks or I think they just wanted to sound fancy I think I do think that one
00:23:34| had a little bit more of a background check Oh to make sure you're real and everything else okay yeah how about the zoosk no that's for
00:23:44| like oh I didn't catch that Zeus huh zo OS CAD seen it before I've never yeah if it's like advertised on television then it's old people stuff and it's for people who watch
00:23:59| televisions don't really like point a lot of ads through the Harmony Oh Stewie mom that money to write that forever ago hmm it's all okay Cupid okay that's a Potts
00:24:14| okay Cupid is okay yeah they like make female BOTS to like so they hook in I bow I do they do I do is it Chinese minion bish plenty of fish no these are like ranked
00:24:28| by the most to least it was it had to do with traffic and then individual yeah it's a weird dynamics anyway then I got to tinder grinder tractor me either the other two you said I was just curious on
00:24:48| a tractor okay sidebar have you met was a guy on a tractor I recently I got banned from tinder two weeks ago and I know it sounds really cool I just want to say that and leave
00:25:01| it but it's not cool I have like a different email on my facebook verses my like tinder login and they figured it out and you get banned for life so I have to make either a new my ebook just
00:25:11| yes and you can't like you can't reach out to them you send a message and it's just an automatic response of like please check our guidelines and who works at these companies is saying you
00:25:21| know I don't know if people who work at the people work at bumble like because bumble a little bit more reputable that because there's dating but then there's friends and networking I will say as
00:25:36| a woman who looks for other women it drives me it drives me crazy on tender that they didn't have that option because you'd be like flipping through everything wrong
00:25:49| she's cute looking for friends go away um ranked them for what they would be in your mind is that how it works like I one-night stand long-term relationship just a friend
00:26:03| based on the app you know like I do I'm the funny thing is is that I used I usually like tinder because people are more honest like you'll find the same people on the ones I've used recently
00:26:14| are coffee meets bagel bomb Bowl and tinder and it's like all the same exact people you're swiping through but you know on coffee meets bagel where you only get like six a day and you're
00:26:25| supposed to be chatty and then you go on a date and Bumble which the trick there is that the girl makes the first move so it's kind of nice I guess or if we match there's someone you're like ah he's cute
00:26:37| but I want to do this today and then tinder where it's just like a human factory but yeah on coffee meets bagel people are like hey new to the area excited to look around would love
00:26:53| to have a buddy for coffee and get to know each other and then like yeah almost like you know I like hiking and coffee or beer is great and then their tinder profiles like let's go
00:27:08| coordinates like beer question mark and then like a eggplant alright so success success rate on those oh yeah good I mean Nick and I don't think we've ever used any of those so
00:27:30| it's like the odds of finding somebody that's actually decent and then if you want to go farther you can uh well I guess I have two anecdotes one is that my parents actually met uh at a dating
00:27:44| site so this was like Mac is a cool site like they went to the police good bring it bring it yep yeah so it was like literal binders of women that you'd flip through and you'd find like
00:27:57| people they have ID cards baseball card of women it's like the website without the website that's hilarious yeah well I can't lie you know and they've been married how old am I
00:28:08| they've been married for almost 29 years and then you got that's wedlock I did the math yeah then they got engaged after ten weeks so but the thing with that is that they
00:28:22| both said they were really honest they both were looking for something serious and that vetting process was like actually done by somebody who wanted to make matches whereas on tinder that's
00:28:30| just like are you bro right as far as finding decent humans yeah I think so like the most recent people that I've been seeing having sex with it's just I don't like dates
00:28:45| I don't like dates they I don't like no I'm over the beginning homebody it's like going just broke why not rather sleep with people than : dates with them yeah actually that's usually the barrier
00:28:57| to me sleeping with people as I just don't want it Wow you can't imagine like intimate bubble you're like talk about everything bubble you know you just like just stay on the periphery essentially
00:29:08| yeah yeah I just like I feel like okay I've had a lot of situations so you asked about successes on all these dating sites and there was definitely one period of time where I was just like
00:29:24| whatever I want to enjoy myself and my profile basically said like not looking for anything serious would love to grab a drink and from the world means pretty straight filet of course that's no one
00:29:41| was confused but the thing was is that like I actually do I really like people I just it's funny the first meeting love the first meeting the second meeting I hate it I hate meeting someone for the
00:29:52| second time expectations that like how we go patience like the fluffy stuff is gone you're trying to figure stuff out this is more let's get real shit but not quite real shit but it's more real than
00:30:08| a first me yeah yeah right like if you're it's I don't know if you're a crazy person yet and I don't know if I care about you yet but I still have thought we're gonna cut some of the
00:30:19| bullshit from the first date stuff but not all of it I guess yeah son exam yeah so anyway I had a handful where it was like hey like just and even when I met them I was like hey I am not in any way
00:30:31| looking for anything permanent like I'd love to just keep it really casual I don't know if we'll really ever see each other again and every single dude is like cool yeah that's great let's do
00:30:43| that that's fantastic yeah and then it turns out it's not because apparently men also have feelings like what cool and I liked our conversation and yeah well yeah the
00:31:01| moment you're like I don't want it I just had a breakup let me talk about it yeah yeah like they want I've had too many times where I've been kind of friends with benefits with someone and
00:31:13| they flipped the switch and they're like I want it I just want I want to just sleep with you IRA my tattoo real that's what they're saying you guys are talking about me
00:31:23| yeah I'm very emotional person as you can tell from my recently Prine face my clean chest yeah it's the kind of person that's emotionally attached yeah pluck your eyebrows no no but uh in college I
00:31:38| always felt like I was going like for the series note so I was the guy that was like I don't know like a long-term relationship but I think that's the wrong way to go I think I should have
00:31:45| just been like let's try it like I want to try things out with whoever and let's see how that works out okay for some reason I was like really hooked I like getting deep into it mm-hmm feel like
00:31:59| they kiss on the say I do uh Susana have you ever been any of these other dating sites to round it out black people meet okay she's checking JDate okay um Christian mingle okay um
00:32:20| white date it's a European Caucasian only dating site its frowned upon and we can't hear your responses now can hear literally your like music no strong no latin love no I would that sounds right
00:32:40| oh yeah I think you have to be allowed to do it I'm really sorry anyway um so I read some pros and cons on all these this whole world of dating thing and um one of the pros of these
00:32:52| these websites that make it so easy and like it's like a cornucopia you have all this stuff to feast on if you really want you can find someone it's pretty easy when there's thousands of people to
00:33:01| go through you're gonna find someone better or good for you or whatever it helps some people get out of crappy relationships because they're not afraid it's not like they have to go to a bar
00:33:10| and meet seedy people they can go online as a joke at first start looking and all this stuff finding people and then maybe that's where they go yeah it's not recommending it quick transit Rob's is
00:33:21| it leads to a lot of emotional Affairs which is like hey I have a snapchat BFF I have a Twitter so-and-so I'm always in the DMS I have a work wife like this this happens way more than it did years
00:33:36| ago another thing that's a common effect this is from the 2018 business insider uh article from Shanna Leibovitz I'm just named Robin here since she's good anyway um these people spend less
00:33:51| time working on their current relationship I mean it sounds logical if you can find a new one why fix the old one especially it's fixing the old one it takes time and effort and a lot of
00:34:03| time a lot of effort finding a new one actually be easier I have a small interjection so there was a TED talk of someone talking about like the emotional reliance of sex
00:34:16| and like in the historical past someone who was looking for like a complete like emotional satisfaction they had like at their own village of people so the village of people would make them
00:34:26| satisfied and having all those relationships and those connections for some reason in today's age we're all kind of leaning towards a single person because there's a weird idea in our
00:34:36| heads that there's gonna be like a prince charming or princess and tower some bullshit that Disney soulless and we're looking for like the perfect person which doesn't exist I'm just
00:34:44| gonna throw that out there I think I've heard about that too of the idea of like even even when it's not a village it used to be you know like when men and women weren't really together that much
00:34:56| and that was the traditional relationship that was going on your closest confidants would usually be your friends or like a sister or something like that and then your partner would be
00:35:07| there to provide sex and financial support in general you know it'd be someone that you'd be raising a family with but you wouldn't necessarily expect them to be your therapist and your
00:35:18| workout buddy and just everything else yeah attached to the hip which is kind of so now scary is that is that what happens now I think so I mean hear about so many people who like understandably
00:35:34| and I think it works for a lot of people they say that their partner is their best friend and I think that that is really lovely in a lot of ways but for a lot of other people that's not really
00:35:44| feasible yeah that actually makes sense I think it's great if you actually hate your partner very passionate makeup sex that's all that matters right there's a duality yeah and then and then fighting
00:35:58| over money learning the way we raise money Emily and to death use like this rage fuck them yeah that's that's secret life of Dan right there have you ever oh no explain I mean there's there's times
00:36:17| where you getting in like a super heated fight where it's like you're like throwing things around and then it's like super like you're so angry at them you can't see them you don't want to
00:36:25| deal with them and then I guess both individually decide that like stupid let's just and then boom you're like you're going at it and it's hot and you're doing things that like are
00:36:35| completely just animalistic and you're just like almost ripping off clothing and getting in there and just like you're allowed to do like an extra layer of things that are not allowed normally
00:36:46| cuz like the mundane is just you know it sets limits on whatever you really want to do plus I guess if you're if there's no rules and you're pushing the scales of like having having like wild sex then
00:37:01| you can do things that are wrong especially if you just hate the Prabhu yeah you can push the limits to do whatever you want to try to do and if the relationship failed at that point
00:37:13| then it's like well whoever just had a huge fight so I guess it was gonna end anyway fireworks along sizzle I guess yeah plus then you get to get to be like
00:37:24| no no it wasn't cuz I like that weird thing it's because we had a fight yeah so that one time that was crazy the UM have you guys ever had sex with a woman this didn't happen and then as she
00:37:39| came or something she said I hate you and then you both finished around the same time and then afterwards you smacked each other in the shoulder and said I still hate you but that was great
00:37:55| sex yeah like literally that sense and it said in a very acidic way aged through clenched teeth through orgasmic clenched teeth but anyway hmm probably not like
00:38:12| psychology classes might tell us one thing so like if a guy's orgasming we're gonna skip right to the juicy points so if like I feel like you cannot anything when a guy's orgasming so if if like a
00:38:26| woman said like I cheated on you with your best friend and he's in the middle of an orgasm I don't but in the moment I mean that's the best time to break it to him right
00:38:38| no that's not worse for me yeah for that first short period of time yes it's literally a guilt-free go ahead oh great he might just might blow by him though
00:38:52| he might just be like oh he's gonna recall I was a little bit just a little bit I'm actually I've never I've never done that because it is a card that like people tell you to play up like whoa wow
00:39:05| you're going down on him like like in the movie Carrie where she like is blowing the guy in the car and she's like I want you to do me a favor and he's like I'll do whatever you want no
00:39:15| it's like pig blood on something but it's like you're gonna it's coming back in like two minutes it's yeah it's gonna come back and like you're gonna ruin the blowjob and like or just whatever you're
00:39:29| doing and unless you don't like the person I think that makes sense if you don't like the person and you're like I just want something from you and I don't care so the the before and after for men
00:39:42| and women I think is different to theirs like for men when they orgasm it's like everything's fantastic and then I don't care Tasha I like it's more realistic there's
00:39:53| a refractory period out there where you're just kind of like seeing things clearly no I get emotional like you cuddle and are you a cuddler nigga oh my god I want
00:40:03| to talk oh so to break it down really good at sex okay so come on super-sized bragging I do my thing okay everyone gets off everyone gets off we have a party
00:40:17| everyone loves it when I'm done like I just wanna like talk share things we just had this super intimate thing it's very magical I don't share that with just anyone
00:40:32| Susanna's jerking off her laptop I think she's really giving it the old right glass falling asleep and then they're snoring oh I could give both your dogs an orgasm
00:40:48| [Laughter] rym each other constantly uh-huh you know you gotta do what you gotta do yeah don't ants you know no I find like if you're gonna have sex with someone like
00:41:01| that's the most to me that's like it's the only thing that's off-limits when you're married it's like the only thing it's off-limits when you're in a relationship like for that reason alone
00:41:12| it's I think about it right what's off-limits having sex with someone Oh someone else yeah yeah someone else is if you're in a relationship with someone like that's that tells me that that
00:41:27| there's an onus placed on sex itself with that individual yeah I said onus yeah you all heard it that's an onus placed on that that it's so important that you can't have it with anyone else
00:41:39| like that's the only stipulation you can hate each other you can break things in your house you can do all sorts of stuff emotional chant have and like kissing other people is that allowed if your
00:41:49| significant other caught you can literally but guess what someone else said definitely not oh yeah but because it's the only thing that's literally it's the premise of relationships so
00:42:01| wait you can't have sex with other people I mean the legalese you're pretty you're pretty right like there are there are laws that say like so there's laws about alienation of
00:42:12| affection oh yeah if there's yeah if you're gonna if you're in a marriage and you have an emotional cheating situational emotional relationship and the person leaves the person who is left
00:42:26| can file for emotional alienation which means that yeah you can sue them for like a ton of money so you know legally there is some of that and then just well yeah I mean that's like if say there was
00:42:43| a woman who pulled me away from my wife and that woman is then legally suable by my wife and they can my wife can take money from her just to clarify yep hell yeah nice like
00:42:58| a happy relationship right before the person's a Nixon yeah but it's usually pretty easy because you're like look all these photos there was like yeah it's fucking
00:43:07| Facebook like okay yeah but it's like there's there's complications right with you know where where is the line within your relationship kind of like what you finding can't you know what what is
00:43:23| crossing line is kissing okay is you know talking to an ex okay is you know sleeping in the same bed as someone okay Dan would you rather have sex with me or kiss me I think the value he placed on
00:43:46| yeah I'm not answering oh my god motional tears I just want to hear you I guess if you could emotionally you know settle me down pillow talk I might I might swing for the former I want to see
00:43:58| you emotional and crying and teary-eyed I didn't say I cry all my better price that's that's in the light right now I'm just so much we're gonna have sex you're gonna cry that's how it's gonna work
00:44:12| you're gonna cry okay tears of joy you didn't specify which position but that's okay so let's focus back on sex like the first time that something sexual happened to you I guess the first time
00:44:28| like masturbation was wearing a bunch of pairs on underwear and I was like throw my legs in the air and rubble in my crotch and I was like there's like an egg photos I thought it was how many
00:44:48| pairs three four I have no idea I can't even number looking what pairs oh man somebody was saying I remember in like woohoo I'm gonna pee myself I keep doing this but it was a different
00:45:04| kind of Pig ah any idea somewhere between 11 and 13 probably yeah mine was the porn at night thing and I was just like messing with it and
00:45:18| then all of a sudden like I had an orgasm I was like I don't know what this is but it was amazing so wait with with the gang all there yeah and that I don't know that I expected anything cuz I
00:45:38| didn't no one ever said that like this is what happens and like they give you like some diagram of like the male and female parts and it's like they don't tell you that like this is good luck
00:45:47| yeah this is gonna put it together this is like IKEA furniture here you go good luck you're gonna get into a fight with another you're gonna reverse parts a and D and guess what you're gonna think C is
00:45:58| attractive and you're like what so there's a natural progression here the third member of our party is there a moment where you were like oh here ah yeah so y'all have been talking about
00:46:22| like masturbating and that was one of those things that like I thought I was just doing it wrong and it turns out it's just not something I can do totally on my own like I ran into a doorknob or
00:46:33| like a bedpost always used by rare I've gotten myself off like totally by myself I think one time I just hate it like which is weird I just don't like I said you is the opposite mm-hmm yeah so
00:46:54| actually like the first time I got off from masturbating wasn't until college so I lost my virginity at 16 to a boyfriend and it was really great and sweet and like the sex was horrible of
00:47:06| course but later ah right but like it was for what it could have been it was great but then I was in college and my roommate and I were really close and
00:47:16| like we talked about stuff we ended up going to like oh it's probably a hot topic or something similar each got something and it became my new favorite study break so yeah but as far
00:47:30| as like first sexual experience it was I mean it was probably I was really really awkward in middle school and I had my first boyfriend when I was a sophomore in high school and he was a senior and I
00:47:43| had no idea what I was doing and started getting sexual and I just like panicked and stopped doing anything and so nothing more than just like making out happen for probably about a
00:47:55| year I guess like a little bit more than that but I didn't notice that you don't right now you're getting very very serious and I needed some potassium you're full of shit nick has a banana
00:48:17| yeah and he he peeled it slowly very slowly seductively down right regular feed so the fact that I was like you know my generation had more internet then Wars like I didn't see porn until I
00:48:33| was in college either huh really so were you like yeah I was like I definitely was like no way that like if my parents knew about anything I did in their house they'd be like freaked out ya know I
00:48:46| like had sex in my house but I just never looked at porn into first oh boy so we looked at porn again this is my with them I'm like my rules are like nothing that we tell us someone who it
00:49:01| was my friend from college and I were on a trip to see a football game and she was with the person that she was sleeping with and was dating and I was a third wheel which I was used to but we
00:49:20| all ended up just kind of like messing or not messing around we didn't hook up to be clear but we ended up like on the computer looking at random stuff I think was like looking at you know random
00:49:28| YouTube videos and then we're like oh have you looked at these things and the first we ended up like just on youporn or whatever and clicked on one of the first things which now I know
00:49:39| never click on one the first time not getting the first porn I ever watched was like like a lesbian orgy where a bunch of them were in cages and they were like all tied up and it was really
00:49:57| intense and so it was like you really was and now I remember that late like that was before I think that was before getting the vibrators then after that I was like okay I don't want to watch porn
00:50:13| cuz that's too much like I don't know what to do with that so I would watch like yeah I've never told anyone this I would watch YouTube videos of like male model there's a bunch of like male
00:50:27| models just like posing and then there's some song a song like Oh constantly there were a couple pictures that would come up and I can like see them mines up I was like that would have been my most
00:50:49| watched videos your powers time all first time with yourself was crazytown butterfly with male models Wow Wow that's sorry there we go that is something I give a big shout out I mean
00:51:04| it's to the video yeah I have it I have a tangent like a minor tangent so the point that you see on all those sites all those sites are interconnected and there's a porn star soya that talked on
00:51:15| a podcast that spurred this innovation the sorry about last night guys we fucked podcast she said that like the person who controls all those porn sites like has a
00:51:24| certain agenda for like a certain type of porn and she said there's a variety of porn you just don't see it because it's all part of a giant punk llamaron so yeah my segue I believe it I mean I
00:51:37| totally blew it cuz you look at porn you're like I don't know I get a bunch of like step-sibling stuff and I have zero interest in that no no I'm not real I just know we did an episode on
00:51:48| horn that was like a scientific study on how many minutes people spent on the website etc etc I talked about this in work the other week and googled it apparently pornhub has released a more
00:51:59| extensive list it's all their users per country broken down per category most search terms what's crazy is on the rise is stepbrother stepmom Steph's note ever
00:52:13| taboo stuff it's always gonna be taboo stuff now that's not my cup of tea yeah it's not my thing but for whatever back your mole to whatever but um it was crazy each country was broken down and
00:52:30| like in Italy it was like Italia Bella Bella and we look with googled it was like just the Italian blowjob and all stack up that makes sense but like then fairies was like anole what country it
00:52:45| was I was like whoa that's nice all right on that line this is my this is one of my favorite questions to ask people for drinking games what is your search term like number one
00:52:59| first thing you search like what's the thing that you're like I got like I can always go for a less Dom situation cuz I love I love seeing two women bodies as opposed to a male body and a female body
00:53:12| like I love women a lot I'm super straight everyone ultra straight mega super mega super all just right but when then I also love to see some penetration so it's like you can get both here hmm
00:53:28| you know and both people have breasts both people are beautiful both there's a little bit of control going on I dig it I don't know that's my thing I mean it's oh I have a very search
00:53:40| results but it's just I just that goes tops so good I like the casting stuff I don't know the casting couch you like that there they're acting like they don't want to do it and then they're
00:53:52| getting paid to do it or they on the bus or the I think I like I like the repulsive and then the total flip where they're just like oh we're not like I am a porn
00:54:04| star here let's not fake anything and it skips right to it I think that's one of the most paid with morning subscription sites do you pay for planes know who pays for porn lady
00:54:13| in the streets or people there are people who do dirty and sheets I don't know how the guy who I really had to like prove to him this guy who had more pornography saved to his hard drive than
00:54:33| anyone else known to man we're gonna talk about this not me well I was just bringing up you to date someone had so much pornography saved to their hard drive that it was something labeled oops
00:54:46| or whatever or not taxes on multiple hard drives I drowned like three hard drives I got really mad anymore hurts yeah yeah you know what I can I think all of my sense that person all the
00:55:13| people I've dated should should thank that person because I'm into way weirder stuff now oh yeah what's your sir what's my search yeah we had to go I usually go gaming oh really like a
00:55:30| party like more than five people what ratio I just really like to see a girl just get like destroyed if it's not a gangbang it's usually James Dean which I'm less like well I'm more embarrassed
00:55:41| by that I mean James no no don't look up James Dean how do I not know this have you the both of you have you been involved with our multiple partners at once ah there was a more enjoyable hmm
00:55:59| there's an almost enjoyable I don't know I'll give you a list of almost suit a list of almost what does that even mean okay there were several times worried could have closed some three-way deals
00:56:13| but I don't want to share my story about I don't know kind of one do but this guy he's not hadn't had enough to drink yeah well no there was I'll do it quickly so there was there was a time when I was
00:56:27| like 20 seconds quick trying to so there were two friends that like me they were in my parents basement and one on one to the bathroom and the other one I looked at for half a second and she grabbed my
00:56:40| cock and then she started jerking me off like instantaneous that's pretty good she stomped the moment her friend walked downstairs the two girls looked at each other got up and started like karate
00:56:52| kicking each other because they both wanted me so I was like this is unbelievable like I could have spun it in a certain way to like maybe have like a threesome but not when they're kicking
00:57:03| yeah don't don't yeah you're losing their agency Dan okay tougher feminism here their agency would have to include love for each other you're just cluding that cuz you're a
00:57:16| man missa I don't trust that they actually they're so passionate that they got angry and there I was banking on the make up sex but they never have it open the way sometimes so I think that was
00:57:30| like it was Nick yeah yeah my you Nick can't get too into it but yes very very many times three people very very many two guys one girl she disgraced one girl another girl me so a lot of four lokos
00:57:52| wild nights a lot of what's a four loko drink drinks really don't know this I don't know I don't have that oh my god do two for local do some weird stuff here there's something in it called
00:58:05| wormwood and I swear it makes me feel like I forget they say it makes you to loosen eight there's no booze nation you just get all jacked up drunk as hell and then I don't know just be a product of
00:58:19| me yeah so hmm I'm still this you would just like make a weekly habit of this you would just like constantly drink four loko and talk to people it was a it was a
00:58:31| three-way relationship for a while Polly whoever at Murray hammers that sounds like fun cheese didn't it didn't end with three people in love you know that wouldn't make sense
00:58:43| it never does folks at home yeah I was kind of surprised that you said like oh this sex is the one thing you can't do outside of relationship and I was like I've been in open relationships right
00:58:55| but I'm encouraged it was a - both people though you know I can't like I couldn't be Polly I'm very happily open in certain spaces but I like loving one person is so intense monster oh yeah
00:59:11| it's one of the articles I read it was like this is exhausting the person who hates online dating they're like there's so many choices I had so many websites I saw a knife or I have to do so many
00:59:21| logins I have to approve my bio I have to verify my email and then I have to figure out which of the guys on the website I said yes to which ones I said no to which ones I was serious about
00:59:31| which one I did this with and then which one I'm setting up a second date with and they were like this is exhausting and they were like I'm quitting online dating I'm just gonna go back to just
00:59:41| trying to meet guys walking dogs everything which did you know is the number two bait gutter I know dog park is the key yeah it's the cyber dating site I didn't actually see what number
00:59:57| one was but this is number two so maybes [Laughter] okay so all the pictures I see are like of women it's always like selfies selfies it freaks me out so many women
01:00:18| use filtered pictures for their course they do this is kind of like too much to you doesn't it I don't see so you scroll through guys pictures all time till tell me if this
01:00:28| is true or not whether you're swiping right or left is there like a group of guys that collect pocket and now like that's their thing oh my god they like show off that they have
01:00:37| like five potty lines I'm and you're like whoa these guys are pretty hot blade notice so far I've had three okay we got a couple lists would this be exist robot package no that would be a
01:00:50| screenshot I would screenshot the shit yeah thing are there guys who like either fish or actively have this or that it's like weird like so this weekend I was with a friend traveling
01:01:12| down from Iowa back to North Carolina we actually played one of my favorite games on social or on dating apps which is left or right where you see a picture of two people you try to guess which ones
01:01:23| profile it is read the profile enjoy the picture no no you look at the picture because it like it'll pop who's trying to be the date of like one guy show that's not gonna be offended so I'll
01:01:36| show you what my humble profile looks like and so a picture pops up and the fish if there was a fish in it we would count we if it was like two people we'd say which one is it you know it says
01:01:46| Dylan is that the dude on the left or the right and then you swipe down and be like oh go by name yeah or where's my profile okay edit profile is that what we're doing
01:02:03| men these pictures are like it's something that they chose but it has to be on like another social media platform or is bumble like direct you just choose they can be anything so let's see will
01:02:14| this work yeah that's this is my profile all that's so you see like my name whatever we can include whatever information we want my picture audible yeah out of all the pictures I've seen
01:02:29| yeah actually so I used to have one that was great when my hair was longer um but this one it doesn't matter as a woman like if you look like a human they'll usually match cuz there's no limit
01:02:44| okay like my version of your awful is like get rid of them and most guys that I've seen like get to the point where they can't like anyone else that day because they've maxed out world of
01:02:57| internet dating is so cold personalized now it's so weird like like I mean I don't ask me what it's like and I basically I said it's like shopping for people with a gift card we're like you
01:03:14| still you want to get something good you want you know you want to use your time and and your resources thoughtfully but you also don't have that much of a like buy-in you know it's like a gift card
01:03:27| that someone else gave to you and you're like a metric almost yeah so the girls gonna eat podcast Ashlee Heseltine and rain and Greenberg good friends of the podcast I love them both they do a
01:03:44| podcast and they talked about 20 19 was the year of love so apparently like the past three years these dating apps come up it's like sex boom what's bang let's get crazy hot guy boom hot guy save that
01:03:57| one even um there's a gay guy I work with like all he does is look at the the gay one where you can um find her wolf is it wolf it's the one where you can wolf and a guy so it must be called like
01:04:10| something with a dog joke and all he does all day is just look online and wolf and guys and like swipe right but that's like when you're getting empowered that's what all you want to do
01:04:20| after a while that probably gets boring three four years into the road people are looking for more and the girl is going to eat podcasts talked about this but the Cornucopia will end they said
01:04:32| women will finally get serious about this kind of thing they're gonna look for guys who have steady jobs so now look for if they're looking for financial that's where they're gonna go
01:04:41| look her guys are big peepees that's where they go you know I mean they do what they want to do what's interesting though is that the women are empowering themselves here where they don't feel
01:04:52| obligated to date anymore twenty years ago if someone set you up on a date you had to go oh my god we have to go now you kind of hold the power it's like we don't have
01:05:03| to go creeps there's probably a lot of creeps on the internet for women you're like nope swipe the other way you kind of hold the keys to sex resisting some discomfort
01:05:16| situations it's a different game and there's good things to it and there's probably some bad things where maybe you're gonna get overindulged and oversaturated and you're not gonna be
01:05:28| able to find mr. right I don't know because you're looking for something else every five seconds is that a thing yeah I think I think so I think I'm not heard that so much of a thing as your
01:05:42| partner getting insecure because I've been on both sides of it okay I've been the partner who's been like wait why are you still looking I thought you know we're exclusive what are you doing and
01:05:53| it's like oh no I'm just I'm just talking to people or I'm just like trying to lean all of those apps I'm just looking around exactly and then I've been the other side where it's late
01:06:04| you you know the person I like but let's yeah yeah they're like why are you looking for something else I'm like no it's just kind of it's kind of fun and it's nice to have some people being like
01:06:14| oh you're cute and yeah so I think I don't at least for me it's not so much that I go on there and second-guess if I should be in my relationship it's more the opposite way whereas if somebody
01:06:25| else is like if my partner is doing that then I'm second-guessing the relationship where I'm like really this is what you're doing instead of talking to me about the problem but yeah I don't
01:06:38| know there's also new times that come out um being kept on the hook do you ever get a thing where like you always swipe on a guy and he's he's constantly there and he's like yo we
01:06:49| should meet one time maybe next week or something and like he's never serious in like six weeks go by and he's still in your letter box or your mentions or this and you're like good lord it's just
01:06:59| never gonna happen but he doesn't want to like oh he's like no you're really cute I really want to meet you then there's also online dating fatigue I never heard that time there's polyamory
01:07:08| there's being ghosted well that's the is one where it's like hey yeah it was great I love meeting you I think we should do it again you don't hear anything like hey hey notice you didn't
01:07:22| respond I know you had a lot of fun you literally left we had super great sex yeah anyway what's up yeah there's nothing yeah it's it says that stuff didn't happen before it's weird it's the
01:07:34| new world with new things going on have you all heard the term satellite you come back a little kind of it's even weirder it's like it's like orbit you can also call it orbiting but I like
01:07:50| satellite even better it's where the person like you've gone a couple dates it doesn't work out like you're just not it's just not gonna happen but then they stay on all of your
01:07:59| social media apps and like they're watching all of their stories liking everything so I definitely have a couple of those where I've got like some satellites where continuous lockers yeah
01:08:10| continuous Lakers or people who just like watch every single story but I haven't talked to in a year and a half so do you see who sees wait well that's what snapchats interesting for that
01:08:22| region see who's looking at your story oh yeah yeah instagrams the same way you can see who's looking at you know it's not sorted by anything really I mean it's sort of my stuff but you can't
01:08:32| change it you can't like search who's been looking at it so but if you only have 200 followers you can figure it out at this point I can't I used to be able to scroll through me like oh this
01:08:43| person's really keeping tabs but now it's just like random hmm hmm how about all these terms change that's kind of cool like I mean it sucks I mean you come up with make bad things you do good
01:08:56| things here's the question for both y'all and so you go home and date right and the guy reaches into his wallet to pay for dinner and he goes oh my god this dropped out oh it's a sore ex
01:09:08| RealFeel non-latex okay that means you're not gonna be allergic no matter what is that like a guy you trust in or hold on what if this falls out and he's like oh my god I didn't mean for you to
01:09:21| see that that's a warm sensation from Jim they're like damn that's gonna get warm real quick and then you're like I'm not sure if I'm in today Thanks so then he pulls out
01:09:34| this you got no no you got a meaningful ultra smooth with lubricant oh that's pretty all right yeah you know I mean like is that the one the crazy ripples the spikes on the end yes no that's what
01:09:51| we're getting right here this is a twisted lubricated oh my god if this guy pulled this out of his wallet I'd bang in tonight and then last but not least folks he's all expired about five years
01:10:05| ago let's not worry about it this is the king if you see this in his wallet he's a keeper it's her pleasure lubricated sensations like that's wild that's all I'm doing
01:10:20| that guy right there uh-huh anytime I wear a condom it doesn't feel as good for me I'll put it that way of course not really no if anybody says it feels the same way they're like a sex
01:10:32| ed teacher that's the only person who says that yeah I had a girlfriend that was allergic to like the other condom so I were like the lamb spice yeah oh the microbiologist is freaking out
01:10:44| so is it feels different it feels probably better but she wears cheap cuts under probably I think they used to use like yeah intestines yeah sausage sausage casing but yeah it
01:10:59| doesn't feel as good and then for women I don't think it feels is good for women either regardless of like how it's for her pleasure oran in there yeah all of them are crap
01:11:09| I can use me warm it's like ultra thin and lubricated I guess I don't know I wasn't the least shitty I kinda want to walk through like a like if someone's gonna have sex with you it's the first
01:11:21| time you're having sex like what kind of awkwardness occurs and like what do you help with what do you hope works out and then like how I guess the first time second time third time it gets better
01:11:34| right but if you allow them to be there it all depends on the person I guess and then both persons that's why I think sex is the most important thing it's like a it's an unwritten chemistry I figure out
01:11:47| who's given who's getting who's who's getting closer who's not getting closer who's gonna hold off for a little bit to let the other person go who's gonna be unselfish he's gonna eat it selfish
01:11:56| who's gonna be wild who's gonna be fuckin they want this they just don't know they want it like who's you don't know like then you need someone experimental selfless and with a very
01:12:09| thick wiener anyway anyway um so the difference between like men and women is kind of ridiculous in this area cuz like if a man just walked out like completely naked like a woman would be like oh are
01:12:24| you sure that untanned early huh but if a woman walked completely naked into my room I'd be like well alright then it would be almost instantaneous woman is that a situation where she's like
01:12:41| chilling out and purl all her clothes and some guy that she's dating just walks in naked it's like that's you're welcome like I'm not I feel unwelcome right now I have never done that to a
01:12:54| woman ever oh I don't think again it's like not every dude does this but it's like I do it every day I'm just trying everybody every stranger on the street my stepsister my
01:13:09| step-brother two-step anything for the record popular and porn search results but oh that's no yes now he can't get a promo for these let's get crazy those are interesting yeah they're like
01:13:30| silicone or like really quick you get a little quickie is rubber handcuffs which are easy to put on take off it's not don't show up in any security uh things they're not overtly sexual can get them
01:13:46| oh it looks like it's a little sexy plastic ring thing so you be like those are from like two beers that's the thing with all the all the toys and stuff it's like that's a budding industry oh it's a
01:14:00| budding industry too but like that's a huge downside with most short-term things is that like you either have it established when you're going in that it's gonna be some kind of weird shit
01:14:15| would you go so here for weird shit but how do you pre man up are you like before we get crazy I'm in the word shit anyways would I wish people would because you can I guess it's nice it's
01:14:31| all super kinky I mean I did a guy for a while we're on our first date he basically said like you know what do you look like you know just kind of casual and he's like well what do you like and
01:14:49| I I told him I was like I like to be used and he's like okay check you know and it worked out really well with our different proclivities but again like I want to make it clear I haven't if I was
01:15:03| less if I liked people more I would sleep with way more people but actually having people I gave them in rotation for a really long time which are these numbers I got it for the show
01:15:15| did you yeah for you'll have to do it I'm only four I'm not that many that's a pretty sensitive and delicate soul my god I should have like three oh I have the huge still can yeah so cam but I
01:15:35| think I'm in like six maybe seven oh wow so you guys a winner but I've been in long-term relationships for my whole life yeah nine year a four year a four year
01:15:47| and like a I think it's from our uh purring hits it's like they could it's a natural thing to be like when I stay in lot relationship yeah maybe I don't know I mean I think what's interesting for me
01:15:59| is like five of those came from a bottle like it ten day period a couple years ago where a motor nap used always tip it was said it's also if I wanted to sleep with five
01:16:11| women in ten days I don't think that it's possible for a man like maybe if a man's with Superman who able it would be very difficult for me he'll battle you have to have like really low standards
01:16:24| yeah as a woman it's a lot easier but it was amazing like I didn't realize my first time really using tinder and I was whose woman's relationship that I was out of it just been like shitty forever
01:16:35| and so ended and I got onto tinder and people thought it'd be easy but I did not understand how easy I was on a three-hour you said beer question mark eggplant like that's what you see Pat
01:16:50| like what oh yeah so I like I found I found this guy and he was like literally he's like I'm in town for a couple nights you know we'd love to meet up with
01:17:01| people and I was like sold he's cute it's not gonna be here for a while and I reached out to him like we matched and I said hey what are you doing a night Beauvoir and he's like oh this you know
01:17:12| you wanna grab food and I was like actually I've already eaten do you want just come over oh yeah fantasy of mine out is it that easy for me like if it's attractive order a human so he came over
01:17:27| we like chatted for a bit ah I adore him I'm sure he's never gonna watch this podcast because he like speaks French better than English he was a traveling toy salesperson and he
01:17:38| brought me a microbiology board game whoa yeah swipe right yeah and it was amazing it was bizarre he left like the next day haven't seen him since so that was sort of that whooshing I was like I
01:17:55| can do anything and and then I did so but yeah it wasn't that fun it turns out like every one-night stand is pretty much the same so there's like part of it that I thought I feel like people like
01:18:09| hold back the emotional part where they like do anything for you not know if they're like a slave or anything but like the physical part completely empty if you're not like
01:18:17| completely she's into it if you're not completely into it then then it's like you want that emotional piece where they're gonna cry and cuddle afterwards because they're super whatever nick is
01:18:29| so like I feel like most people want that like yearning for a deep connection not the physical part is necessary but after you get the orgasm out of the way you're just like what get out of my bed
01:18:41| I'm tired of you that's physiological and physical she kicks me out yeah I don't want them in my bed that's the thing like I love protective I love
01:18:55| my room I love my dogs I'm like space and the problem is is that I usually are all unfortunately like continued talking to people longer than I want to hmm certainly obligatory that kind of a
01:19:10| thing yeah I just feel kind of bad so you let it linger even though you know it's over essentially yeah she's being polite I understand that it's like a goddamn it I messed up my hair I know
01:19:24| what the did I lost then it's over smell what now just look at it it's up date waiting with this this I'm not gonna get any swipe rights tonight now yeah yeah I've always wondered what's
01:19:39| the worst thing I could say I'm entender and then to sabotage it but still getting success oh oh yeah no I a friend took mine and he was like can I just do whatever I want like yeah I don't care
01:19:52| and he like asked some dude if he could fuck him with a strap-on and the guy was like I mean if I could do it to you nicely no you're know for that I'm a no Nick
01:20:03| are you a no fan I mean it mix it to it [Laughter] no no all right last last text question where is the most hmm should we go with exciting or
01:20:24| public place you've had sex they different I'm only the most public was just like with door open like I had a like it was a college apartment but like the like the
01:20:41| the door to the hallway was open and we just had sex like right and put on the doorway that's like playing car sex while you're driving like Doughboy I mean I've done the fingering while
01:20:52| you're driving and stuff but it's not you say that so my favorite joke to tell my um my oldest friend Dan is it like you know I finger this girl's so hard like the reason it's a funny joke is
01:21:08| because like that's that's how we started our sexcapades like we would have girls and we would make out with them and dryer or washing machine just goes we'll put our hands in across from
01:21:18| them totally bond wear the pants and like that was like getting to like that was it turn I don't like home and if you could figure girl you were in like post but looking back on it it's like hey
01:21:35| girl yeah that's terrible that more people should do that I think so but you have to know what you're doing a little bit not like I did like you don't know where
01:21:45| the thing I like how are things are oriented as like a teenager most people don't oh yeah oh like I function every oh I have a book recommendation so there's
01:21:58| this book it's called she comes first it has like a papaya on the front I empire even this book to multiple men because it if they're like if gentlemen hey describing stuff
01:22:13| I hate being like I want this thing cuz I don't have any idea I'm like main let's see what Circle page 97 yeah so I've just given this book I'm liking it depends on the individual to different
01:22:24| tongues were shaped different fingers or shape different people move different people's wieners are shaped different peoples wieners oriented different peoples hard-ons pointing different
01:22:31| angles like everything is different I get anything for the female side things are a little different yeah oh yeah 100% yeah where's my phone though you know like
01:22:41| guys different shapes of joystick you know what all the buttons do but like when the women it's sort of like choose your adventure you don't really know what's gonna happen you hope I get one
01:22:52| end point but action-y Ordinance they were variable so way more variables how did you figure out that you were into women oh that's a good question so yeah I think looking back I should have known
01:23:06| it forever ago cuz I remember the third Harry Potter movie when Emma Watson like Hermione Granger punches Malfoy in the face and I was like oh she's not teen and that's and that seemed awesome yeah
01:23:23| I was probably 12 though so but yeah so there was that and then you know there's always been like I would get in college I would get drunk and like make out with every woman around but then I would
01:23:35| still make out what guys - it was just you know but yeah it was I was always this idea of like oh when I get drunk I make out with women and then again looking back I was like oh I was getting
01:23:47| drunk so I could have excuses to do that but it was actually kind of funny so in Iowa it just wasn't an option really like you could be gay but that like looked like a certain thing and I
01:23:58| definitely was into men and then I came here to North Carolina and it's just like a much more open area and I had this like this it reminds me the same thing of when you like you know you were
01:24:15| walking past a restaurant and like you can smell giving leaving sounds great you want to go leave you're talking about something gathering and you're like yeah
01:24:23| go on watch your mouth now that's if you have a single role of like if you turn a side wit like never turn this way because you get a fat roll or like I would recommend um yeah I know we've
01:24:39| definitely like reached out and chatted a few times but it's like 50 years old he held out a dollar so that she would dance with him and she was oh my oh shit I've heard it I've heard
01:24:52| it called the pot of gold but I'd I don't know why cuz cuz looks better first experiences our last experiences our goof-ups our fun ones are awesome ones like
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