Transcript of Episode 121 - Midlife Crisis Career Money Family
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00:00:08| you're 33 years old you look at your hands and it's not you you've been the same person for 10 years it's time to really shake it up fast-forward you're 59 family Adam learn
00:00:23| colleges are doing their own thing you look down at your hands the wind is blowing this isn't you it's time to change today we're gonna talk about the big change the midlife crises so I'm Dan
00:00:41| and I'm Nick books for old friends dissecting one topic at a time people technology media we've got it all covered each discussion here is a deep dive in or unique perspective the taboo
00:00:55| forbidden subjects they're all on the chopping block babies we don't pander to popular opinion but Mike you can get a little bit dirty morning this podcast may contain mature language and sexual
00:01:06| content and is for entertainment purposes only so join us have a good time [Music] god bless america
00:01:32| but not Nick long as he burped on Nick on I was gonna say camera but that's not as obnoxious into the microphone it was a little away from my kind of you under coax
00:01:44| we're professor yes I am damn oh good everyone watching was like who the hell's who now they know perfectly perfect perk strangers so you wanna pull up the Wikipedia definition of what a
00:01:55| midlife crisis is that's literally where all my research begins a pedia rules everything around me so someone I live with this is like two years ago was like what kids say lit and I was like yeah
00:02:10| it's lit and they're like what does that mean and I was like I tried to explain it yeah so then she was like I heard I heard a new one in a and work today I
00:02:19| was like well what and she's like let's rock a wiki on that and I was like excuse me that's probably she's like and she's like that's the expression where you you Wikipedia something and I was
00:02:27| like yes I know I'm saying but every now and then when I get I think of Wikipedia I'm like I'll get a rock a wiki okay it sounds like you're gonna squeeze one out on like a PDA page I don't know it's
00:02:42| just like I'm gonna rock a wiki it sounds like someone old trying to say something young and hip is she's not working maybe she just just trying it out on you that's what I heard maybe
00:02:50| people say it yeah people were saying it I don't know so let's go midlife crisis usually aged 45 to 67 which I thought was bizarre I thought it was bizarre - yeah I was like 67 Lee crap is that what
00:03:03| the numbers from wicky-wicky who is a 45 is 64 as the midlife where I saw that so yeah wow that's a 20-year period just in what what is the life expectancy for us did you know so they said the average
00:03:17| life expectancy is 90 so 45 would actually be the exact mid yeah but that's that's for people born now I think for us it's a lower I think it's actually like for males born around 1985
00:03:30| ish it's like 72 years old really and so I thought that was low too so I would probably say it's more like life expectancy changes etc etc yeah so they're really like begs the question if
00:03:45| you're 45 to 64 are you in the middle of your life yeah you're not in the in my consideration that's not the middle like once you're past I don't know what age
00:03:57| but once you're elderly which is like gotta be 60 retired it's always it's always older than us yes is that funny those old people once you older than you is like such a far away number it's like
00:04:08| once you're 40-something people who are like 40-something like you mean 50 something people who are 50 something they're like 60 something there's always a moving goalposts but I agree with you
00:04:17| the majority of people who are 60 years old are incapable of doing a lot of things which yeah it likes most of life that's well that's why I'm like intro head
00:04:27| I think that's like the only the last year you can pick up a Harley yet I mean mmm you could do it after that I assume but like you're I think FK you mind you could become up you could become a
00:04:41| Harley guy at 59 right I think so I I don't know man I never anything so 60 you're pushing it now you could still be on your Harley at 60 I'm not saying that but like to start it fresh like you're a
00:04:54| businessman you work in a cubicle you just wear khakis on the weekends so I'll tell that guy no and now all of a sudden that guy is gonna start to just get blessed then Noah Harley and start
00:05:05| wearing the leather and stuff like that and bandanas like you have to be 59 or younger I think I don't know that you can get I don't think you can pick up that style like you would stand out
00:05:14| obviously you could never wear it you can do it off I think you do it at 60 you could do it oh good yeah that's cool good go ahead okay so life ends at 6 days or you're
00:05:27| saying I don't know cuz that'll be a moving goalposts - yeah it is weird 60 seems like the number where you don't do anything new yes that makes sense yeah well my
00:05:40| parents are 30 years older than I am so that puts them in mid 60s and they don't owe you anything new I've never seen them do include new the past five years they might be able to but it feels like
00:05:53| J don't want you become like what do you film a golf guy you can pick that up couldn't you see only never worry you can break up like what are you can't play basketball
00:06:02| no yeah you're not go follow playing soccer you're not going most I think there's other hobby so you can become like a boat guy who builds boats in bottles vials where they go yeah you
00:06:13| could do that right you can pick that up right I guess she was that call bird I just gotta have a special name for that hobby boats in building boats Oh who's boats hobby named that's curious it's
00:06:28| gotta have a name everything has a name impossible the door thing no really it's those what comes up okay an impossible bottle is a type of mechanical
00:06:41| puzzle the term refers to any bottle containing an object that does not appear to fit through the bottles mouth she drips a ship in a bottle baby cool I'm an impossible bottle enthusiast you
00:06:54| can become one at sixty right I guess so I think you could so there are certain things but yeah you could do it well anyway let's focus on the the numbers again so what's the first one forty five
00:07:07| so it's I don't I don't believe that that definition when I read it it was like this is garbage cuz yeah why because weird we're in midlife now or where I'm not quite in
00:07:16| crisis but I think's a little crazy yeah I think I could be in midlife crisis like if I am if by the time this releases and I'm not in a relationship and like something happens with custody
00:07:25| and my kid and I'm like I'm like 35 or to do whatever I want I'm gonna maybe I'll become a Harley guy maybe I'll get into sports again like maybe not playing them like but I'll do rec league stuff
00:07:39| I'll pretend to be a coach don't know all this down okay you'll know who's coming up yeah I could be a that guy the rookie slits oh he's a good Mike you know oh yeah I'm go down to Clearwater
00:07:48| Florida and like start following a team or like I don't know who I can pick something up and I'm 30 mid 30 right so at mid 30 I think is your first chance at a
00:07:59| midlife crises so how do you know how do you feel midlife you personally right what's Ching whoa I get digestion you've like oh you're talking about physically what's going on with you yeah like hot
00:08:15| wings if I eat the really hot wings now like my stomach just can't handle it you can't you don't feel alive you start to get these weird pains and like mean the pains grow and then like your your
00:08:26| athleticism everything all your physique kind of starts the game it's on the downline you don't you're not out of it like um the down Klein had to go into the I've been going to the beach a lot
00:08:38| and uh I've been you know shirtless runaround my six-pack and all that but I've been telling the guys we've been throwing a football in the sand so laying out I'm
00:08:47| diving and I'm actually about as good as I've been in my entire life as far as catching the football the difference is the next three days my hips hurt my body aches I'm sore my neck
00:09:00| is stiff like you wake up and I'm like I shoulda thrown a football with the guys have you it's been like like when you get a ball in your hand and you start to like you really want to wing in there's
00:09:10| a weird pops that happen and like your muscles don't do the normal things I don't have pops but I can't throw it as hard yes and if I want it to you're like really you just force it you're on the
00:09:21| Mississippi and it doesn't it's not natural not unison it's a not a normal movement your body is just pushing it yes oh yeah it's already begun do you you a contact guy contact like as in
00:09:35| contact right oh no I got LASIK oh did you so you would have been yeah but that's another way I know when you start to lose like your close-up vision so like in my
00:09:48| profession which is programming that becomes an issue so I don't know that I could continue the program and grinding my teeth because stressing at 5:00 no yeah there's like five things that are
00:09:59| really important to me that are physical mm-hmm it's my sex life and my wiener uh-huh and that sounds like a joke or a pond or a river but if I couldn't you get hard
00:10:08| at will or oh my god my wiener didn't work and women are no longer sexy to you they're just like okay give me a minute I I know you're attractive but my body takes a minute it needs to charge there
00:10:20| yet but I'm not there yet but it just bothers me literally ARC's me um the other one is my vision I've always had better than 20/20 my whole life and then I still do but that
00:10:34| can't last forever so eventually I've never not had perfect vision and it it weirds me I'm gonna dawns on you 18 or it I also have a hair thing like I love my hair and no mine's no receding
00:10:49| yeah I actually looked at video of us two years ago and my hairline was kind of exactly the same and I thought okay this is mental like it's just I just thinking it's fading it is you're also
00:11:01| looking for it to happen because we'll keep this in mind there are other people our age who look older than us yes there able to look like they're eight 40s and
00:11:09| it's it's like what the hell people are younger than me I go how do you look like that already you're me a year older than way no way I think we went to high school with people with receding
00:11:19| hairlines and like balding in parts of their head so like it happens it comes from at different ages so you're always comparing yourself to your age group uh-huh which is another thing that this
00:11:29| whole thing is based around you're comparing yourself to your age group if you do feel younger than your age group or you want to think you're younger than the rest of your age group you have to
00:11:40| set yourself apart like you don't want to become a fuddy-duddy or a balding man or someone so you want to do something drastic to show that you're not getting older it's kind of what it is right yeah
00:11:53| so we had an episode about our peaks right the physical peak is national early 20s mid 20s right it's 24 27 for three twenty-four twenty-seven I'd say like 25 is [ __ ] and then the mental peak
00:12:05| was like 30 to 33 right for the chess player right pyramid so you you start to feel that you are no longer projecting a positive you're projecting downward you are projecting down even if it's flat
00:12:21| glad we'll stay flat yeah the only skill that grows I think is like your social awareness or like your worldly knowledge but how gauging your world maybe we'll use how do you feel you're a baby
00:12:34| check out my worldly knowledge yeah filled filled with worldly knowledge let me lay this worldly knowledge on you girls so there's a there's a peak that you feel is no longer going to be ahead
00:12:51| of you you know that it's beyond it's behind you in a way but the best the good surprises are going that a good way to put it like you can't be surprised and say wow I got good surprises in your
00:13:03| personal abilities you will never surprise oh you could get better at music by I don't know you could never pull off so I playing a sport physical peel off your sort of physical feat and
00:13:16| you're like whoa I never knew I could be oh that like yeah that is you will never not gonna happen for me I don't think dan you can surprise yourself that's I guess a little different where you're
00:13:26| like I'm too old to do this and you make a catch that's good but even men it's not better I think I'm already there like there's no way I could change the way I play a game now it's like it's
00:13:37| that's so ingrained in me that I don't think that I could just be like a different type of person different type of player so what we're talking about here which I felt we're gonna get to by
00:13:47| the end of the episode was your ability to change your plastic soldier yeah 100% the older you get the deeper your roots grow mm-hmm which is common I mean think about it the more you do something the
00:14:00| more entrenched you are in it the more of a lifestyle you have of it the more you've worked really hard to get here why would you give up liquor I wouldn't give up my ability to play music why
00:14:09| will you give up my how much I make a year I would give up the things I do and the people I know you don't you use get deeper and deeper but the deeper and deeper all these roots you put out get
00:14:19| the less and less you can just change do whatever like we keep mentioning the Harley guy because that's like my idea of a midlife crisis mmm you can't just all the sudden stop
00:14:29| hanging with these guys on Friday visiting your kids on Wednesday picking up your son from volleyball here and then also be like sorry I got to go on the Harley like to you you don't have
00:14:39| that ability to do that the older you get so I think this whole thing is like a push back I'm gonna do it so you're you're touching on two things there's one the like the mastery of something
00:14:51| takes about 10,000 hours so when you're younger you can kind of focus on that like you can maybe go to school for it you have some free time it might take you five or ten years to master it and
00:15:01| you have hope that you can but in your early 20s how much free time do you have a lot well yeah a lot like per day you probably had like four or five hours maybe a free and that's like legitimate
00:15:14| free yeah for us this is our free time this hour and a half of talking and that's light weight every Thursday in a night why not take off Eastern no central so and we actually when we do
00:15:32| this it's pushes our bedtime back so the next day I feel it I feel tired I'm just like oh yeah it's yeah we don't we have probably a third of the free time that someone younger than us does we correct
00:15:47| if young kids so yeah that's we have less than I third probably a quarter so via a stirring something might take twice as long maybe three time it's a good point like to get
00:15:58| really into something new yeah we require free time and we don't have that the depth effect diving into something I mean most of our time is spent maintaining our things if ever they are
00:16:08| exactly relationships mmm the house new relationships old relationships the house you own everything you own oh we do that old saying it kind of does so it's scheduled repeat repeat over and
00:16:21| over again rinse and wash wash and rinse rinse repeat rinse and repeat watch and rinse baby we're gonna watch washed rinsed over and over again but really like from the moment I wake up until ten
00:16:41| minutes ago 16 minutes ago I was doing stuff that was not of my own choosing like it was not maybe I ate a good meal or I mean you you chose it but you I'm I have to do it like there's no you have
00:16:56| to choose it yeah yeah it's like feed my child it's like you picked it buddy it's like yeah but I have to yeah it's do you have to I have to someone's gotta feed that bastard
00:17:07| there's no way to get around it so even mean there's no way to game it another thing is that you pick you have kids and then also you have a career you get put in a job that most jobs are not perfect
00:17:20| and they don't last forever so there's jobs where you don't like pieces of it but you have to deal with it and you're there for a majority of your day and it's just dirty your week yeah it takes
00:17:33| up a massive amount of time I think this is this is where the midlife crisis should but cuz at 45 what the hell are you doing different you're not forced to do
00:17:44| anything different at 45 unless you're starting a family at 45 which most people don't is that a midlife crisis I think there's a realization for when you have a family
00:17:55| that you're in it like you're in it for at least until they can walk and then you can walk away from now that's just to say not 18 18 to 20 years I mean financially 18 to 20 years emotionally
00:18:09| you're probably on the hook for longer I can't imagine leaving lightly longer than 18 years and so their midlife crisis yeah I couldn't I couldn't do it I mean for the kids yeah but also for my
00:18:26| spouse like if I were to give all the responsibilities to my spouse and say like you've got him like if she did that to me like you I'd be spending I'd have no free time my free time would be right
00:18:37| gone sleeping yeah I'd be exhausted I'd be sleeping right now which is a scary thought that you don't have any time it is weird but it's also you do have you do have the option to do other things
00:18:54| like I don't have to do the dishes tonight I could come down and play bass uh-huh for 20 30 minutes I won't because I'm tired and the dishes needed to be done and I'll just have more to do
00:19:06| tomorrow and no one run the dishwashers but technically speaking you could so your decision to do the dishes and do the norm is to make your next day easier does that make sense yeah you're helping
00:19:20| your future self I always do this whenever I'm writing something and I think I do it smartly I say I say say thank you my previous self there's like in the notes I will read like comments
00:19:33| for myself and then I'll be like younger Dan save do this here it is thank you Dan you're all so cocky son of a [ __ ] younger Dan you son of a [ __ ] letter no
00:19:42| idea was really here one week one week previous weird so our free time is spent setting up our future time which will eventually yeah and it's setting up a pen F that
00:19:56| you have to walk myself along which is had interesting we're going here yeah so our time now every day the day-in day-out is setting up a time in the future for ourselves and I think what
00:20:09| happens is you get stuck in this pattern doing something for future you and a midlife crisis kind of like when am I gonna cash in yeah I've been doing all this stuff for me I [ __ ] if I don't use
00:20:23| it now I'm gonna be 60 and then what am I gonna do at the time there's a realization there of if you're running a marathon in the beginning of the marathon you're thinking about how
00:20:32| you're running the marathon right so you're focused on the doing of it but you meet you might get past the midway point and say I need to finish the marathon so then you're reaching for a
00:20:43| goal you're focused on the goal and not the enjoyment of the thing that you're doing so for me the terrible metaphor cause is not enjoyable at all not even the big it not beginning the middle is
00:20:55| especially not the end okay I think we're going never ran a marathon so maybe I give us a run I mean from my car to the door I can think I can run pretty faster than those five feet you run it
00:21:08| you run a two mile piece you run a five paint back in high school I ran like maybe a 16 minute two miles maybe yeah and that's like pushing it like that's like kind of want to do this ever again
00:21:23| Colin I mean I understand that but yeah it's arrived hey dude I'm telling you on the podcast that this isn't a joke you should literally set yourself to do a 5k because I could um might be able do a 5k
00:21:36| tomorrow if I just said hey all I know if I pay huh because it's 3.1 miles it would take you under half an hour or about Ethne and you would feel accomplished like I'm
00:21:48| saying this for you on the podcast that has nothing do with this episode I really think you should set yourself a goal to run a 5k in under half an hour because I think that's six mile an hour
00:22:03| because I think it's something that would change the way you [Music] we change you it would be a major change but I really think you should try it's
00:22:11| like that weird and I get that it's like on if I pull the dough most people can do it if you just train for like two weeks five weeks they have walked for charity that was like a two-mile walk
00:22:22| and it was around of course that was maybe maybe a little less than a mile long so that maybe a few laps and for me it was astonishing to see people that could not walk in like they go around
00:22:34| once and then they'd stop like they were exhausted need a break even though they could walk the whole way so you can't walk how is that what a true I don't know this is variety of people but like
00:22:46| most of the people but like the people that were stopping might have been their it it's your body like not letting you finish like why would you just I don't know it's one of those things that just
00:22:58| it's bizarre today this is a thing that happens that is literally related to our episode homework the other day and someone goes can you touch your toes one of the other people that's my age and I
00:23:11| was like oh the rookies are talking because we're all the repeats like where the were the friends like for the BFFs and at the company and they're like I don't know I haven't tried in years and
00:23:19| they were all trying to touch their toes cuz no one's tried it's done in like years and they're like oh it's so hard and I was like stretched all the time I can do it but like there are certain
00:23:31| things you stop doing and don't think of because you're not even just like fetching the last abilities are gone and it's so weird that they hadn't even tried to touch their toes and maybe
00:23:41| eight years I hear they are and they were groaning at 35 to trying to touch their toes house like that's believable it was so weird but I was like that's what happens that's why people who were
00:23:55| like 40 or 42 they don't have free time to just jack around and touch their toes like Danny I mean they they're their days are so streamlined they are so proficient they're so good at what they
00:24:07| do but they don't waste time doing stuff like that and flexibility literally and becoming so proficient at what you do and so shark-like and so calculated to the second means you don't
00:24:21| have time to Jack around and do stupid [ __ ] and that hurts them yeah you become so good at what you do that you hurt yourself you lose all those other abilities that are just loose appendages
00:24:35| so weird and that's essentially what getting older is a little bit become so rigid stuck but again it's we're just focusing on the rigidness it's you're choosing that because you're being so
00:24:49| good at your time you're like listen I can get the groceries be home by this pack this do this do this and you did four things that you need to do for future you but you didn't just move
00:24:58| around them like an often like roll on the floor do stretches and yoga can you imagine some 40 different laughing delete or yeah how about what your kids do like yeah like where they
00:25:10| put their toe and turn their nose and you're like what are you doing I can smell my toes sniffing your toes for get off the floor no 140 would do that oh it's a waste of
00:25:24| goddamn time but there's something beautiful about wasting time not being proficient not being good at something that they they're flexible in other ways you know physically and metaphorically I
00:25:37| always imagined if I could retire tomorrow that like I would take this like a time period of like a month and just not try to do anything and just see what happened what would you do
00:25:47| I'm like it's like Tobias UK from he's a philanthropist yeah long regular he's literally a cat but like you find me like stretching and like reinvigorate in my body because I feel like it's very
00:26:13| rigid like I'm forced to do the same motions repetitively and well if I did not stretch yeah in a weird way like you're not like doing this at work for the hell of it like cleaning back in
00:26:23| your chair and reaching for things cuz why would you yeah that's a wasted time right yeah break all those connections that your muscles are making they're not allowing you to move around
00:26:33| touch your toes look at this have you even doctor yeah get those roots deep you see all goofing around also like for my career wise I can see the finish line and I just want to get there already
00:26:48| like if I could retire early and just be like boom done but it's a distraction because it's so far away also it's like I might be at the midpoint maybe well check this in doing so you want to gain
00:27:03| the system and get there quicker so you will put more time and resource into focusing on like thinking exactly so you can obsess spend an extra 20 minutes a day like doing this that will lead you
00:27:16| to half an hour a day worth of going towards it like do you know what I mean so you're spending this much time to get this much result you're still wasting this much time more a day doing it yeah
00:27:28| not wasting obviously but did not daydream having fun or playing or yeah and doing something else so you're focusing on something yes so that leads us into I guess career-wise I chose a
00:27:40| career that paid well and you chose a career that maybe didn't so if you could go back would you pick a career that paid better if you could restart your life right now
00:27:51| would you do it no because I don't know what I don't know what that would do to me I know that sounds stupid and I do want money and I'm broke we've discussed the entire episodes where I need to net
00:28:05| positive instead of net negative mmm-hmm and it's a disgrace etc etc but no not this way open to it in one sense say mean everything maybe little sure
00:28:15| not really though but but but I don't know what I'd be if I did that and I'd be afraid and again that's part of its fear I don't know what the answer would be maybe I think it better person you
00:28:27| can be lost one-dimensional I see a lot of people that are one-dimensional and I wonder how they could have ever developed be missing all these pieces I see a lot of
00:28:36| those people and I go did you just decide this one thing was good enough like when are you gonna wake okis yeah are they gonna wake up in there life crisis and say oh [ __ ] I missed out
00:28:48| on doing all sorts of I could have whole moment yeah that I missed like maybe they were completely unaware of these moments and later on they find out that other people had so much fun doing X Y &
00:28:59| Z that they never did they'll be like well I can't do it now it's a good point um regrets I don't know why keeps popping in my head no no I was filming with them
00:29:10| Will Smith in men in black where I'm Edgar I goes wild and I drug sugar water his wife is the girl from True Blood I don't know if anyone knows that agar agar what's wrong Hagar anyway um
00:29:25| there's a line he said his to worry he says get yourself a nice pair of shoes and then you needed Nick a new home decorator because damn and i picturing someone saying that about someone's life
00:29:37| who's one dimensional when you were just discussing that mm-hmm like by the way you wasted your whole time building up your business your entrepreneurship and you got nothing cuz Daniel Wolff Smith
00:29:51| voice I can't do it well Smith voice but people people set themselves down a path and they figure out the flaws in that path and then usually after their me they don't want to go back and relive
00:30:07| the path even if it even if they could get it right a second time around it's like how we already tried that we're not gonna go back and if you want to be existential about it nope at this then
00:30:18| maybe you feel completely fulfilled yeah I mean you pick a path it's like I'm playing an RPG I uh I put all my all my skill points into strengths and I got to unlock all these cool things and do this
00:30:30| but I never got to unlock the ones with charisma but if you went and did the careers in the ones you can unlock the this skill tree with those frames I hate that one as you can't fill up the
00:30:40| holy thing drives me you can't fill up so you have to pick one way or the other that's like life you can't get it all you literally can't I'm gonna get it all Nick you will sell your goddamn soul
00:30:57| I think also during this time frame like I switched jobs to because of maybe lip board I'm a little stagnation it was a little too easy maybe I wanted life to be more difficult at a time when it was
00:31:12| already really difficult I don't think you were to be difficult he wanted it to be different yeah that make sense you want AI wanted to experience something that might have been better
00:31:20| even though I thought right not gonna happen but I might as well give it [ __ ] because I would have been pissed at myself if I didn't give it a shot cuz that's a that's a phrase right yeah
00:31:33| rinse and wash rinse and wash I repeated that sentence she did yeah would you have regretted things would you would you want to have changed your path it's a certain point cuz a lot to me I not
00:31:49| always like that well I think the midlife crisis immersion does no because I'm a midlife crisis person so we always discuss explain this in a second so we always discuss um do we have any regrets
00:32:02| did I go to college for the wrong major etc etc yeah well I mean when you think about it I see my friends with no know what's this I became Prince with nasty my friend uh-huh my sister married him
00:32:15| yeah they have three kids if I didn't go to that school and pick that major and live my life they wouldn't have met and had kids like I'm not taking credit for their family but if I don't they don't
00:32:29| fail together in the same way and they don't have the kids and I don't have those nephews I have all three boys I love those kids they just scream uncle Nicky jr. likes every time they see me
00:32:43| all three of them even the one that's like just turn to he's like your legs and you can't say the words so he screams it at me it looks at me and smile he goes
00:32:59| no yours man nobody even knows why it started they call me uncle Nicky Julie your legs I don't get it either well because I have chicken legs and I think they made fun of the kids and I mean
00:33:11| keys you have uncle Nicky's chicken jr. uncle Nicky jr. because I'm tickled you know like McDonald's yeah and they um now every time they see me that's all they scream it and it's so funny because
00:33:22| if all three of them are hanging with my son who wants to be friends with them my own son looks at me and says oh they keep doing your legs are like you're my son but it cracks me up this they I
00:33:37| don't want to risk a life work they're not there so I'm like whatever this is the looking back and like changing your life so like if if I went being yeah well if I went back to being 18 years
00:33:52| old had to relive college I couldn't relive it in the same way I wouldn't it wouldn't follow the same way and I would remember the only exactly thing yeah even if I tried it
00:34:01| would fail like there's no way I would know the life I had and any delsa your head yes yeah it would change yeah I was regret not being able to recreate the life even though the life now might not
00:34:13| be that great the other life seems better grass is always greener I'm not sure what to do to get back to the happiest I could be you'd always be trying to be like manipulating the
00:34:24| situation in the scenario and it would never it would never work and never be in your favor she's so touched on younger kids but we didn't touch on like parents and
00:34:37| grandparents passing away cuz it's also part of like the existential like I have limited time here and that my guide is save save death for the end no literally I've said no no because that's I mean
00:34:52| that's I think it's ultimately what it's all about yeah but what I did want to touch on is the age so we said how 45 to think a more realistic look at what a midlife crisis is I feel like it
00:35:07| happened somewhere between 30 and 35 and then again in 15 years does that make sense I don't think so I think 30 is too young I think you have to have a full-blown family and be in a career
00:35:19| where you think that you're got its varies person person if there are people who have kids at 21 or 22 which I guess isn't as common nail so that freaks me out yeah cuz you you've lost like a
00:35:30| decade it seems weird really like if you had a kid 20 like 21 your kid would already be like 15 how weird would that that would be bizarre I guess you could have a midlife crisis at
00:35:41| that point then that's that's what I'm getting at so I guess a varies person person but I think nowadays in our generation when did man live to like thousand years
00:35:52| ago like thirty nine thirty telling old was like thirty five soon right so midlife crisis you get one of them now I think it's almost like you get two of them does that make sense I didn't come
00:36:04| across this in research but I even looked for it and I couldn't find it and now I'm almost like everyone has two midlife crises I feel like there's one where you start a family or start to
00:36:14| have kids or everyone around you has kids and you feel like you're different and then I think there's one when the kids reach college age and they kind of they go up
00:36:24| on their own and you're not old enough to be old and feeble yet but you're your room you're damn near close so I feel like there's two of them it may be that's a new thing because life
00:36:34| expectancy is longer but a midlife crisis is almost broken into early midlife crisis and later midlife crisis and I don't think there's a study on this yet but I'd like to anyone who
00:36:45| writes an article about it please quote me Nick from the unpaid roots yeah but do you do you agree thank you have a second a second life or maybe even like three lives yes I think
00:36:57| you have three lives right I took it this way so like you take the first 20 educated and building something towards a career because most of Americans they build towards a job and then you spend
00:37:18| sure building up your chops getting your salary up getting a nice base customer base so everyone call it and then after that it's like the rest of your life
00:37:27| yeah it's finishing up your career and then enjoying it and it's one of the weird things to read on the internet about people retiring earlier than most people and not knowing what to do it's
00:37:40| like you never enjoyed yourself end of it you just anyone who retires early worked so hard they never enjoyed themselves maybe yeah and they never they can never decide
00:37:52| what to do because they didn't enjoy it yeah they never had fun well thinking I never said learning the system they were can you really sacrifice you don't yeah they enjoyed it like not just enjoy it
00:38:03| they felt like they were gaming system a limited like you be careful there yeah winning and achieve your goal was winning and cheating and winning this goal so then when I'm done
00:38:12| the doing old English should enjoy so then when they're done and they cheated it and they won there's no new goal they're like oh damn I have to enjoy myself and I don't know how the game can
00:38:26| I can a game enjoying myself I guess suit so yeah it's like is there a cheat code to enjoy myself I'd love to try we gotta find a way of cheat enjoy myself so weird
00:38:45| trying to find the end with Neanderthals and our average lifespan yeah I'm trying to say well either way it was shorter than ours correct I had to be I know that's also
00:38:58| to set off offset by on infant mortality rate and stuff like that where discusses some previous episode yeah yeah cuz you you could literally steal your children leave one make it just imagine that
00:39:11| imagine trying for three or four years to make another human and it would take like a decade hold on this you're talking about stuff think about families huh two generations ago did they all
00:39:25| have like five kids seven kids 25% of it is old humans and Neanderthals survive past 40 that's a weird number only 25% survived past 40 it's a terrible one and four so three of four
00:39:47| died before a 30 now I guess some of that before T some of that is probably childbirth some of those probably midlife crisis n-no midlife what we're gonna say then it allows a segment like
00:40:01| I I don't know just like getting into a battle at age thirty years oh yeah that's like a tetanus like if you if you go to battle and you get cut by a blade it's like your odds of getting tetanus
00:40:11| and having it kill you or much higher because they didn't have it end up and the bizarre I take a shot from my leg oh thank goodness because you don't want to be writhing in pain where you can't
00:40:21| control your muscular spasms locked off yeah it's one of the craziness you better not put that in there or I'm gonna have lockjaw and bite on your penis and eat your brain quote I can't
00:40:33| remember oh [ __ ] I should know this one I know that's why it's your favorite movie I thought maybe you know talking about victims for the so say that they say that the sudden insertion of a blade
00:40:43| will make the victims joint down hard and oh yeah well in their jaw with a pry bar and oh yeah anyways oh honey and they beat him up mm-hmm what's this thing sweets gains of Bane's one thing's
00:41:03| for certain Bane's never one grabs the post and then Oh the guard pulls them back in here and they beat the hell out Oh such a good movie moving on the movie so let's go towards the end death I mean
00:41:26| because we've covered a lot of stuff but well there's one thing that's missing oh good attention is who gives you attention you know you get the less attention you get either that yes and
00:41:39| thence people literally ignore old people I think unimportant they probably want as much attention to us but here's the weird thing they also don't want us to know
00:41:49| when they fart in public they don't want us to notice when their dentures fall out they don't want us to know this one they're like they want attention but they don't want people to see their old
00:41:58| nests does that make sense I know I see it at home that's what I think if you're in the if I'm 80 right and I meant a register I want people to see me and like me as much as
00:42:13| I do when I'm 20 right now because you're the same person because your mental state is really mentally like the exact same person I just don't want them to focus on like oops I farted in public
00:42:23| because I'm older all my pants well I think about them in but I did fart a little fart out right um how about this one like I accidentally drool a little on myself I don't want the cashier to
00:42:38| see that I just want them to see me as a person so there's weird trade-off where it's like I want them to still notice me and like me but I don't want them to notice the weird show all the stuff
00:42:49| already starts to fail you yes so we as young people just ignore old people it's like a nice thing to do it's like hey he's all not good as known as you you're drooling
00:42:59| I'm girls but the trade-off is we ignore them I feel like they kind of get lonely like like they by ignoring their faults or their weird things or if the things are byes you're doing we're ignoring
00:43:12| them in general like it's a trade-off like a well nor the weird [ __ ] your body's doing but also we're not going to give you much ten-year-old it's like they're leaving the store and the store
00:43:24| is actually a life and you're in the store and they're not there anymore so you don't yeah I mean they're on their way out they're on their way out quite literally and that's a weird thing I I
00:43:38| don't know how I would feel about that I would feel so weird tonight I'm gonna be one of those old guys when only one of those old guys who has weird expressions and talks all the register girl organ
00:43:51| like and then like my answer will be the surprise well I hope I do guess what some of them really caught yeah it's gonna be 549 any weight from all the water and they're gonna be like yeah
00:44:03| even since 2019 that buh-buh-buh-buh-buh every--every witters 549 I'm like back in my day it was like a buck oh haha they're gonna be like that's great haha $5.99 let me be like you can have
00:44:20| it but you gotta give it back and then she's gonna be like whatever that means is she's gonna bring it off and I'm like just kidding you know it's gonna be a weird interaction I'm you're like man so
00:44:30| there are two moments that for some reason that triggered there's a right after getting out of like maybe grade school seventh or eighth grade I remember like that that summertime
00:44:44| freedom like I bet first day riding a bike long summer it's a long summer yeah eighth grade summer you have yeah you don't I guess you have certain things you can read a book or something but
00:44:55| that who cares and everyone waits until a week before or they [ __ ] the exam but you have we both went to the same school did you mister we'll call him not old but young mr. young I think maybe so
00:45:11| my first time coming to high school from grade school what are different schools different teachers no one knows anyone who ever yeah apparently it's a center reading summer list uh-huh fortunately I
00:45:22| don't read a goddamn book no we did have to read that where you go to Mount Everest oh yeah here in Detroit our been here yeah I mean oh I was supposed to read it the first day of class I had him
00:45:35| and he was like everyone bring out your book and I said I didn't bring my book today what what was it and they're like the summer reading book into into thin air by Jon Krakauer and I was like okay
00:45:45| and he called him me three times to quote it I didn't even know I'm supposed to read the goddamn book that's not my thing was giving me [ __ ] he was like oh well I guess you think you're better
00:45:54| than everyone attitude and he was a real dick and I forgot about this moment until right now I'm calling out in the tree hyung because you're an [ __ ] I didn't read it dips in air by Jon
00:46:07| Krakauer and I will never read it because of you sorry bitter I'm better what did what did you get the right trigger grade I think it'd be yeah who cares he's fine
00:46:21| but I mean it was probably an A grade but he was probably I don't like him yeah I don't like him anyway we're worried that the summer of freedom like the summer we mentioned I didn't read
00:46:34| into thin air [ __ ] that it's freedom ghetto you guys so much opportunity and chance and you could do whatever you wanted and it didn't matter nothing mattered which we may are finally like
00:46:44| coming into women's bodies they're finally noticing men you're finally making connections with people you're oh you're so close to driving baby you can taste it some of your friends or older
00:46:54| brothers might be able to drive the world is literally your oyster you can do anything I started staying up way later than you should oh yeah for I am you're still awake
00:47:05| you're wondering what the hell what's weird is our generation probably was starting to get internet access right then yeah you know like the Wild West is wide open we're growing physically and
00:47:17| getting better at every our reaction speeds or whatever you want to call it our peak human hmm hmm who's good time so if leaning on there is chance at this moment well the second moment that I was
00:47:31| going to talk about was that there was a summer there after my first year of college where I stayed back I was thinking it was a second year doesn't understate for the summer yeah I stayed
00:47:42| for the summer because I had like a job at the jolly cakewalk internships or cakewalk and there who cares they're fun so there was a summer there where I had lots of
00:47:52| free time and I would rollerblade around the whole campus and when I would go I would find that there was such possibility because I could see anybody and literally their path was I had to do
00:48:05| with that College so that means they were there so I could actually like stop talk to them and make friends with them and then the possibilities would be like endless that doesn't happen now because
00:48:16| so many people are tied to whatever they're doing like hurry when I hang out yeah you can make new friends because you're constantly doing something that you're
00:48:26| stuck in and so are they had a new friend at work anyway you made a friend I hate listen I just found out he plays guitar likes weird music instrumental music I was like oh god wait he lives
00:48:40| five minutes from me it was like if you ever heard of money telling us that was a cool that's around the corner I get my chicken cheesesteaks from there he's like he's like whatever dude I'm big
00:48:53| into sports and watching sports and I was like like I'm 28 let's just hang I'm like anyway we're not ready yet but I guys we texted and now we're Bros so nice we made it but like but as an act
00:49:11| that we're making a big deal oh yeah making up friend one individual friend and me wondering like show text him now should I wait like a week show you'd be like cool Josh I said an emoji like it's
00:49:24| weird that our age yeah because you don't thank you friends usually because everyone's so busy everyone so entrenched in their life everyone has a root so deep that like who's got time to
00:49:35| [ __ ] around if you're 30-something and you are people either think you're a pervert you're weird or you haven't been committed to your goals so it's like so
00:49:48| that brings up like the spousal thing like if you were single at this point of your life women would judge you negatively from people yeah because you can see how why are you still signal
00:49:59| single are you still single so weird I think they would I mean they'd wonder like what's your like what's wrong but there's something wrong with you
00:50:10| I like there's gotta be what's wrong the expectation is there is maybe she jumped right into death all right from spouses into death protection will be the dagger like yes you know why most men don't
00:50:28| murder or why why cuz look it's caught oh I was going with it's illegal how advice for so you could say what yeah murder no no seriously this
00:50:50| releases own funny oh my god your honor it's okay episode 118 one hour and three minutes my client says I love my wife seems a trainee the day the jury is just like oh he's a sweetheart but it's gonna
00:51:21| be the same you lard late 30s thank you he's got a recent this isn't good no there's something going on so death your honor super weird every one of our episodes ends with life or death but
00:51:38| those are the two ultimatums right public only live or you're dead or you're two-faced you're the middle somewhere and you're flipping the coin I guess oh yeah so midlife crisis is
00:51:56| really like your realization that you're getting older that you're that much closer to death I think it's a realization that you this is your life what you do with it is now if you don't
00:52:10| do now you could be dead could be over you don't get to do anything else you don't need to make a name for yourself you don't get to create your image you don't get to change your image your
00:52:21| image is what you left on earth that's it foul you're an accountant your khakis on the weekends that guy if you die at 61 from something that's you you're done you don't get to say no no I
00:52:35| was going to be cool I was gonna bike I was ooh me a biker I'm just waiting for the right time you don't get to tell anyone that bit you know what I mean like like there's weird inside potential
00:52:48| where you want to tell people out could be cool oh I can do this how he's gonna get into music and I mean I'm gonna be a drummer like you get to tell the world what you could be what you had the
00:53:00| potential what you want to be if you don't do it so the later you wait like I'm saving my money so I have a lot of free time then I'm gonna be that Harley God's precarious well it is precarious
00:53:13| cuz if you wait till you're 70 to start let's say even you you physically could have done it but you die it's gonna know you were gonna be a Harley but it's over it's gonna change the what literally
00:53:24| dies with you so there's this weird finality thing this is this is who I am this is the image I want to portray for everyone around me this is what I want people to know I could do this is what I
00:53:37| was into this is this is me pal it's your last chance to tell the world maybe I'm them some like this is a strange segue but there was a like the people at my old job they were younger
00:53:50| like there was a job for people that were between 20 and 30 and anyone that was beyond 30 slowly left so when I came to this new job they're still young but there's still some people that are in
00:54:02| their 30s and the weird part is that like their parents are passing away it's like their parents nothing grandparents but like multiple parents are like near death and it's weird it's really weird
00:54:16| to have someone that was like my age and they realized that like the person that raised them is gone I can't even think of that so we're I can't I mean I thought of it
00:54:29| multiple time for as little as I talk to my parents when I do talk to them I think you know when I do have something to say I'm glad that they're there and to give me the
00:54:39| opinion that I know they'll give me because there you can tell what they're gonna say then you know them so well but they usually so everybody says it's too late other friend Dan who's been on this
00:54:50| podcast is that any advice you get from her parents is literally the best advice okay not because it's most bias I thinking the positive of you like the positive positively biased for you yeah
00:55:04| yes because it's literally the best advices and they will give to you like they're not trying to trick you they're not trying to make you do a certain thing whether they're right or not is
00:55:17| unrelated that they literally think this is the best thing that you can do for you because they don't give a [ __ ] about your girlfriend or your cousin's nephew or the way you look in public like they
00:55:32| don't care about that [ __ ] your parents are older than you to a degree where they realize there are times when ting down there like this is what I have to give you like you want
00:55:42| advice curious there's no bias I'm not trying to game any system I'm not trying to get anything from you I might be wrong don't get me wrong but I'm literally going to give you the most
00:55:54| honest opinion if you like it cool if you don't that's fine so when I'm related to you so it's weird it's like they're they're like I'm a little bit you this is what I think my
00:56:07| one grandparent my granddad I liked him a lot and it was not a parent he might have just thought it was like another grandson but when he passed away you couldn't tell them that anymore it's one
00:56:19| of those things that there's things left on the plate that there's no way that you could ever get them off the plate like you were holding the bag and you're still holding it you should have get to
00:56:31| a point where I'm gonna play this long game out where I think I can trick him into doing this I think I can talk them into this and I think we can work around with this and then eventually a long
00:56:42| game I want him to think about this if you've only got eight conversations with a person left like honestly think of that let's say there's someone you love and you have eight conversations left
00:56:54| it's like [ __ ] it I'm gonna tell them every secret I'll tell them the whole everything I think but you don't even have the time to tell them like eighty years of your life yeah so what do you
00:57:06| do here's like listen a conversation plan Nik well thank God what would you do so weird so let's say you have eight conversations left with someone they're
00:57:20| younger than you right even if it's you or your kid your kids are too young to understand like complex thoughtfully yeah right but let's say it's you at age I looking to be like listen [ __ ] the
00:57:40| money also [ __ ] not the money like it's so weird but like I only got like eight conversations left I'm like I don't have time to tell you my whole life but I can do whatever makes you happy
00:57:55| [ __ ] have kids you boil it down to something that's cliche it's weird because you know exactly what it means but they have no clue but you really what would you tell them that's I think
00:58:08| this is every conversation that is like supposed to be like a key turning point that a parent thinks they're telling their children and their children just blow it off you're like whatever okay
00:58:19| yeah sure that's okay yeah grandpa like what else could you hey there's no way to impress upon them like all the experiences that you've gained there's no way like you have to do that
00:58:32| in little pieces throughout their entire life right now but again what if you have eight conversations left you're 88 you have some kind of cancer you're gonna see this person like eight more
00:58:44| times and be like I'll follow your heart like you know what you're passionate about it's a shame isn't it it's like a cliche isn't it really what is it feel your gut but like your gut will tell you
00:58:57| what to do what does that follow it well you would say I don't know I guess [Music] like after Allegan I don't [ __ ] know I think this whole thing is just
00:59:26| avoiding dying this whole midlife crisis wouldn't change my life hey I'm not too old I can change hey I didn't do this I can change hey I can I can show everyone who I
00:59:38| really am but life crisis is kind of an awakening it's kind of good yeah but it's also kind of like hey you don't want to time you can see you can protect yourself out into your own death
00:59:49| into your grave essentially you'll be on your your bed you'd be thinking what am I gonna tell my son am I the way of them damn I show them I can ride the Harley they thought I was a khakis on the
01:00:03| weekend oh my goodness ride Harley's luckily that's not a dirt bike you might injure yourself what no but if I'm passing away my son leans in and I get to say one last word be like don't say
01:00:20| Zeya tawan oh come on don't [ __ ] say it i banners and then you can't wait because you've hidden this yeah since you never know what I said cuz like really loses rated-r he's too young and
01:00:39| he's gonna watch him be like my dad was an [ __ ] it was Nick whose name I hated that guy the whole other stuff I'm thinking shut up like my dad talked if you're watching this be your dad did
01:00:56| plenty of talking okay time for me to call is there another aspect to this I don't know that there is no people just get stressed out and they just can't do anything about it and then they just
01:01:09| think is that them those people all those people with a midlife crisis would you ever still if you if you snapped legitimately and you wanted so I know one person that was like 50 and they
01:01:24| just disappeared they just like we're like I'm going dan and they've relocated they relocated they never talked to their children their spouse again they just disappeared
01:01:35| they they were alive but doing something else if that happened to you couldn't go that far I think I could either what would you do like how would you restart would you restart I guess but you know
01:01:47| what's funny I try and be like well I'm not gonna be like the old me I'm gonna definitely ride Harley's and every day I'm going to do the same job and live nearby but what happens is I'd end up
01:01:59| going to like you said the job I signed up for and saving money and I don't have as much time for my Harley so now I'm you know doing the dishes well I gotta do there's just what do you are
01:02:11| otherwise it's moving through the cycle again would you start another family and be like all [ __ ] like I got it it's just really a serial knew that yeah a serial restart er yeah but you can only do that
01:02:25| two three times you can do it more but [ __ ] oh I'd be terrified I know um yeah I can see myself doing it again but it would end up being relatively the same make me worse because you've already
01:02:42| been through it like the excitement is that much less but the responsibility is still a hundred percent I think it's exhausting the first time but like the second time through you're just gonna
01:02:51| like I don't know if you were to have like ten children you think the 10th one you're just like it oh god it's so cerebral but no I you you make a good point like you can only experience
01:03:03| something in like for the first time so amidlifecrisis is trying to experience life again the first time relive the most joyous moments sure and you can't there's no way it falls flat you can't
01:03:17| open a present on Christmas and always be every excited weeks having Christmas like seven weeks I'm gonna have Christmas again [ __ ] you all if you have Christmas every
01:03:27| seven weeks it's like it's like Christmas a war it's suddenly not Christmas is weird mental disease right there one minute's several weeks 752 yeah
01:03:39| don't know it does no it does not 49 79 so you have to do it over two years that's all and hope that there's a leap day in there I hope that heads up perfectly I think it does actually okay
01:03:56| every four years really good oh it's not doesn't that it perfectly is off by one day cuz will leap years every four right great don't do the math I don't even up to
01:04:08| reviewers don't do it I'll figure it out I'm gonna Matt so how do we sum this up we don't I'm a midlife crisis is all about not wanting to die and showing that you're young but sure you only do
01:04:21| it when you're old hold on then just crack the whole code some of you try to be young when you were old but you can't yeah you try to be young again but it's not what young is because you're old so
01:04:32| we can't possibly know it you can't it's like trying to be an opposite you can't do it hmm like even if you pretend to do it and go through the motions of doing it
01:04:43| and you know you won't actually actually do it dozen young women right like if you go back contra I guess you could pay them right that's the way that's the only way but I can't remember I thought
01:04:55| a concubine implied that they were like some slave I thought it was like um courtesan or Louisa like oh no courtesans are like they're like prostitutes for higher class their
01:05:08| cortisone core I put it on my wounds on tourism let me let me make sure I'm saying the right word here this episode one self courtesan a prostitute especially one with wealthy or
01:05:22| upper-class client well I guess that was eliminating clientele nice yeah it would only me that's for sure that's so empty I couldn't do that though
01:05:34| so what's weird is a midlife and I stopped working anyway so it didn't it wouldn't matter don't make me depressed a midlife crisis is when you are getting
01:05:46| older and you realize you're getting older and you want to show that you still have a young person inside you you still have youth Oh Gus touts weird is it's still in an older shell so it's
01:05:59| aiding it's it's forced it's like I'm Bob I'm gonna buy this new car ironically enough aren't most midlife crises convertible like no aren't they mostly show fueled by money like that
01:06:16| your money doesn't buy you the progressed back no even crazier you have to have money to have a midlife crisis I'm going to spend 40,000 on this to show and think of it you try to be young
01:06:29| young people can't afford this goddamn Corvette or this this midlife crisis that you're pretending to have mm-hmm so midlife crisis is entirely fabricated because a young person would not be able
01:06:41| to afford the midlife crisis you're having it's so weird oh I'm young again look I'm buying this $40,000 which no correlation could ever afford
01:06:53| no which is weird if you're trying to pretend to be young and spend the money that a young person wouldn't have it's really thinking that those things matter in the future when they don't matter at
01:07:04| all no one is looking as the person in the Corvette and saying oh I wish I could be him like honestly no no one gives a [ __ ] about you once you buy a Corvette when your middle table aged you
01:07:16| send it over here but you know you no longer get attention from anybody so its attention it's because we ignore old people the only way to get their attention is to by young people [ __ ] or
01:07:28| Bobby people [ __ ] something that screams hey I got this [ __ ] I'm important I'm important I'm not impotent and I am still alive this damn concludes our podcast I think it does oaks we like you
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00:00:23| colleges are doing their own thing you look down at your hands the wind is blowing this isn't you it's time to change today we're gonna talk about the big change the midlife crises so I'm Dan
00:00:41| and I'm Nick books for old friends dissecting one topic at a time people technology media we've got it all covered each discussion here is a deep dive in or unique perspective the taboo
00:00:55| forbidden subjects they're all on the chopping block babies we don't pander to popular opinion but Mike you can get a little bit dirty morning this podcast may contain mature language and sexual
00:01:06| content and is for entertainment purposes only so join us have a good time [Music] god bless america
00:01:32| but not Nick long as he burped on Nick on I was gonna say camera but that's not as obnoxious into the microphone it was a little away from my kind of you under coax
00:01:44| we're professor yes I am damn oh good everyone watching was like who the hell's who now they know perfectly perfect perk strangers so you wanna pull up the Wikipedia definition of what a
00:01:55| midlife crisis is that's literally where all my research begins a pedia rules everything around me so someone I live with this is like two years ago was like what kids say lit and I was like yeah
00:02:10| it's lit and they're like what does that mean and I was like I tried to explain it yeah so then she was like I heard I heard a new one in a and work today I
00:02:19| was like well what and she's like let's rock a wiki on that and I was like excuse me that's probably she's like and she's like that's the expression where you you Wikipedia something and I was
00:02:27| like yes I know I'm saying but every now and then when I get I think of Wikipedia I'm like I'll get a rock a wiki okay it sounds like you're gonna squeeze one out on like a PDA page I don't know it's
00:02:42| just like I'm gonna rock a wiki it sounds like someone old trying to say something young and hip is she's not working maybe she just just trying it out on you that's what I heard maybe
00:02:50| people say it yeah people were saying it I don't know so let's go midlife crisis usually aged 45 to 67 which I thought was bizarre I thought it was bizarre - yeah I was like 67 Lee crap is that what
00:03:03| the numbers from wicky-wicky who is a 45 is 64 as the midlife where I saw that so yeah wow that's a 20-year period just in what what is the life expectancy for us did you know so they said the average
00:03:17| life expectancy is 90 so 45 would actually be the exact mid yeah but that's that's for people born now I think for us it's a lower I think it's actually like for males born around 1985
00:03:30| ish it's like 72 years old really and so I thought that was low too so I would probably say it's more like life expectancy changes etc etc yeah so they're really like begs the question if
00:03:45| you're 45 to 64 are you in the middle of your life yeah you're not in the in my consideration that's not the middle like once you're past I don't know what age
00:03:57| but once you're elderly which is like gotta be 60 retired it's always it's always older than us yes is that funny those old people once you older than you is like such a far away number it's like
00:04:08| once you're 40-something people who are like 40-something like you mean 50 something people who are 50 something they're like 60 something there's always a moving goalposts but I agree with you
00:04:17| the majority of people who are 60 years old are incapable of doing a lot of things which yeah it likes most of life that's well that's why I'm like intro head
00:04:27| I think that's like the only the last year you can pick up a Harley yet I mean mmm you could do it after that I assume but like you're I think FK you mind you could become up you could become a
00:04:41| Harley guy at 59 right I think so I I don't know man I never anything so 60 you're pushing it now you could still be on your Harley at 60 I'm not saying that but like to start it fresh like you're a
00:04:54| businessman you work in a cubicle you just wear khakis on the weekends so I'll tell that guy no and now all of a sudden that guy is gonna start to just get blessed then Noah Harley and start
00:05:05| wearing the leather and stuff like that and bandanas like you have to be 59 or younger I think I don't know that you can get I don't think you can pick up that style like you would stand out
00:05:14| obviously you could never wear it you can do it off I think you do it at 60 you could do it oh good yeah that's cool good go ahead okay so life ends at 6 days or you're
00:05:27| saying I don't know cuz that'll be a moving goalposts - yeah it is weird 60 seems like the number where you don't do anything new yes that makes sense yeah well my
00:05:40| parents are 30 years older than I am so that puts them in mid 60s and they don't owe you anything new I've never seen them do include new the past five years they might be able to but it feels like
00:05:53| J don't want you become like what do you film a golf guy you can pick that up couldn't you see only never worry you can break up like what are you can't play basketball
00:06:02| no yeah you're not go follow playing soccer you're not going most I think there's other hobby so you can become like a boat guy who builds boats in bottles vials where they go yeah you
00:06:13| could do that right you can pick that up right I guess she was that call bird I just gotta have a special name for that hobby boats in building boats Oh who's boats hobby named that's curious it's
00:06:28| gotta have a name everything has a name impossible the door thing no really it's those what comes up okay an impossible bottle is a type of mechanical
00:06:41| puzzle the term refers to any bottle containing an object that does not appear to fit through the bottles mouth she drips a ship in a bottle baby cool I'm an impossible bottle enthusiast you
00:06:54| can become one at sixty right I guess so I think you could so there are certain things but yeah you could do it well anyway let's focus on the the numbers again so what's the first one forty five
00:07:07| so it's I don't I don't believe that that definition when I read it it was like this is garbage cuz yeah why because weird we're in midlife now or where I'm not quite in
00:07:16| crisis but I think's a little crazy yeah I think I could be in midlife crisis like if I am if by the time this releases and I'm not in a relationship and like something happens with custody
00:07:25| and my kid and I'm like I'm like 35 or to do whatever I want I'm gonna maybe I'll become a Harley guy maybe I'll get into sports again like maybe not playing them like but I'll do rec league stuff
00:07:39| I'll pretend to be a coach don't know all this down okay you'll know who's coming up yeah I could be a that guy the rookie slits oh he's a good Mike you know oh yeah I'm go down to Clearwater
00:07:48| Florida and like start following a team or like I don't know who I can pick something up and I'm 30 mid 30 right so at mid 30 I think is your first chance at a
00:07:59| midlife crises so how do you know how do you feel midlife you personally right what's Ching whoa I get digestion you've like oh you're talking about physically what's going on with you yeah like hot
00:08:15| wings if I eat the really hot wings now like my stomach just can't handle it you can't you don't feel alive you start to get these weird pains and like mean the pains grow and then like your your
00:08:26| athleticism everything all your physique kind of starts the game it's on the downline you don't you're not out of it like um the down Klein had to go into the I've been going to the beach a lot
00:08:38| and uh I've been you know shirtless runaround my six-pack and all that but I've been telling the guys we've been throwing a football in the sand so laying out I'm
00:08:47| diving and I'm actually about as good as I've been in my entire life as far as catching the football the difference is the next three days my hips hurt my body aches I'm sore my neck
00:09:00| is stiff like you wake up and I'm like I shoulda thrown a football with the guys have you it's been like like when you get a ball in your hand and you start to like you really want to wing in there's
00:09:10| a weird pops that happen and like your muscles don't do the normal things I don't have pops but I can't throw it as hard yes and if I want it to you're like really you just force it you're on the
00:09:21| Mississippi and it doesn't it's not natural not unison it's a not a normal movement your body is just pushing it yes oh yeah it's already begun do you you a contact guy contact like as in
00:09:35| contact right oh no I got LASIK oh did you so you would have been yeah but that's another way I know when you start to lose like your close-up vision so like in my
00:09:48| profession which is programming that becomes an issue so I don't know that I could continue the program and grinding my teeth because stressing at 5:00 no yeah there's like five things that are
00:09:59| really important to me that are physical mm-hmm it's my sex life and my wiener uh-huh and that sounds like a joke or a pond or a river but if I couldn't you get hard
00:10:08| at will or oh my god my wiener didn't work and women are no longer sexy to you they're just like okay give me a minute I I know you're attractive but my body takes a minute it needs to charge there
00:10:20| yet but I'm not there yet but it just bothers me literally ARC's me um the other one is my vision I've always had better than 20/20 my whole life and then I still do but that
00:10:34| can't last forever so eventually I've never not had perfect vision and it it weirds me I'm gonna dawns on you 18 or it I also have a hair thing like I love my hair and no mine's no receding
00:10:49| yeah I actually looked at video of us two years ago and my hairline was kind of exactly the same and I thought okay this is mental like it's just I just thinking it's fading it is you're also
00:11:01| looking for it to happen because we'll keep this in mind there are other people our age who look older than us yes there able to look like they're eight 40s and
00:11:09| it's it's like what the hell people are younger than me I go how do you look like that already you're me a year older than way no way I think we went to high school with people with receding
00:11:19| hairlines and like balding in parts of their head so like it happens it comes from at different ages so you're always comparing yourself to your age group uh-huh which is another thing that this
00:11:29| whole thing is based around you're comparing yourself to your age group if you do feel younger than your age group or you want to think you're younger than the rest of your age group you have to
00:11:40| set yourself apart like you don't want to become a fuddy-duddy or a balding man or someone so you want to do something drastic to show that you're not getting older it's kind of what it is right yeah
00:11:53| so we had an episode about our peaks right the physical peak is national early 20s mid 20s right it's 24 27 for three twenty-four twenty-seven I'd say like 25 is [ __ ] and then the mental peak
00:12:05| was like 30 to 33 right for the chess player right pyramid so you you start to feel that you are no longer projecting a positive you're projecting downward you are projecting down even if it's flat
00:12:21| glad we'll stay flat yeah the only skill that grows I think is like your social awareness or like your worldly knowledge but how gauging your world maybe we'll use how do you feel you're a baby
00:12:34| check out my worldly knowledge yeah filled filled with worldly knowledge let me lay this worldly knowledge on you girls so there's a there's a peak that you feel is no longer going to be ahead
00:12:51| of you you know that it's beyond it's behind you in a way but the best the good surprises are going that a good way to put it like you can't be surprised and say wow I got good surprises in your
00:13:03| personal abilities you will never surprise oh you could get better at music by I don't know you could never pull off so I playing a sport physical peel off your sort of physical feat and
00:13:16| you're like whoa I never knew I could be oh that like yeah that is you will never not gonna happen for me I don't think dan you can surprise yourself that's I guess a little different where you're
00:13:26| like I'm too old to do this and you make a catch that's good but even men it's not better I think I'm already there like there's no way I could change the way I play a game now it's like it's
00:13:37| that's so ingrained in me that I don't think that I could just be like a different type of person different type of player so what we're talking about here which I felt we're gonna get to by
00:13:47| the end of the episode was your ability to change your plastic soldier yeah 100% the older you get the deeper your roots grow mm-hmm which is common I mean think about it the more you do something the
00:14:00| more entrenched you are in it the more of a lifestyle you have of it the more you've worked really hard to get here why would you give up liquor I wouldn't give up my ability to play music why
00:14:09| will you give up my how much I make a year I would give up the things I do and the people I know you don't you use get deeper and deeper but the deeper and deeper all these roots you put out get
00:14:19| the less and less you can just change do whatever like we keep mentioning the Harley guy because that's like my idea of a midlife crisis mmm you can't just all the sudden stop
00:14:29| hanging with these guys on Friday visiting your kids on Wednesday picking up your son from volleyball here and then also be like sorry I got to go on the Harley like to you you don't have
00:14:39| that ability to do that the older you get so I think this whole thing is like a push back I'm gonna do it so you're you're touching on two things there's one the like the mastery of something
00:14:51| takes about 10,000 hours so when you're younger you can kind of focus on that like you can maybe go to school for it you have some free time it might take you five or ten years to master it and
00:15:01| you have hope that you can but in your early 20s how much free time do you have a lot well yeah a lot like per day you probably had like four or five hours maybe a free and that's like legitimate
00:15:14| free yeah for us this is our free time this hour and a half of talking and that's light weight every Thursday in a night why not take off Eastern no central so and we actually when we do
00:15:32| this it's pushes our bedtime back so the next day I feel it I feel tired I'm just like oh yeah it's yeah we don't we have probably a third of the free time that someone younger than us does we correct
00:15:47| if young kids so yeah that's we have less than I third probably a quarter so via a stirring something might take twice as long maybe three time it's a good point like to get
00:15:58| really into something new yeah we require free time and we don't have that the depth effect diving into something I mean most of our time is spent maintaining our things if ever they are
00:16:08| exactly relationships mmm the house new relationships old relationships the house you own everything you own oh we do that old saying it kind of does so it's scheduled repeat repeat over and
00:16:21| over again rinse and wash wash and rinse rinse repeat rinse and repeat watch and rinse baby we're gonna watch washed rinsed over and over again but really like from the moment I wake up until ten
00:16:41| minutes ago 16 minutes ago I was doing stuff that was not of my own choosing like it was not maybe I ate a good meal or I mean you you chose it but you I'm I have to do it like there's no you have
00:16:56| to choose it yeah yeah it's like feed my child it's like you picked it buddy it's like yeah but I have to yeah it's do you have to I have to someone's gotta feed that bastard
00:17:07| there's no way to get around it so even mean there's no way to game it another thing is that you pick you have kids and then also you have a career you get put in a job that most jobs are not perfect
00:17:20| and they don't last forever so there's jobs where you don't like pieces of it but you have to deal with it and you're there for a majority of your day and it's just dirty your week yeah it takes
00:17:33| up a massive amount of time I think this is this is where the midlife crisis should but cuz at 45 what the hell are you doing different you're not forced to do
00:17:44| anything different at 45 unless you're starting a family at 45 which most people don't is that a midlife crisis I think there's a realization for when you have a family
00:17:55| that you're in it like you're in it for at least until they can walk and then you can walk away from now that's just to say not 18 18 to 20 years I mean financially 18 to 20 years emotionally
00:18:09| you're probably on the hook for longer I can't imagine leaving lightly longer than 18 years and so their midlife crisis yeah I couldn't I couldn't do it I mean for the kids yeah but also for my
00:18:26| spouse like if I were to give all the responsibilities to my spouse and say like you've got him like if she did that to me like you I'd be spending I'd have no free time my free time would be right
00:18:37| gone sleeping yeah I'd be exhausted I'd be sleeping right now which is a scary thought that you don't have any time it is weird but it's also you do have you do have the option to do other things
00:18:54| like I don't have to do the dishes tonight I could come down and play bass uh-huh for 20 30 minutes I won't because I'm tired and the dishes needed to be done and I'll just have more to do
00:19:06| tomorrow and no one run the dishwashers but technically speaking you could so your decision to do the dishes and do the norm is to make your next day easier does that make sense yeah you're helping
00:19:20| your future self I always do this whenever I'm writing something and I think I do it smartly I say I say say thank you my previous self there's like in the notes I will read like comments
00:19:33| for myself and then I'll be like younger Dan save do this here it is thank you Dan you're all so cocky son of a [ __ ] younger Dan you son of a [ __ ] letter no
00:19:42| idea was really here one week one week previous weird so our free time is spent setting up our future time which will eventually yeah and it's setting up a pen F that
00:19:56| you have to walk myself along which is had interesting we're going here yeah so our time now every day the day-in day-out is setting up a time in the future for ourselves and I think what
00:20:09| happens is you get stuck in this pattern doing something for future you and a midlife crisis kind of like when am I gonna cash in yeah I've been doing all this stuff for me I [ __ ] if I don't use
00:20:23| it now I'm gonna be 60 and then what am I gonna do at the time there's a realization there of if you're running a marathon in the beginning of the marathon you're thinking about how
00:20:32| you're running the marathon right so you're focused on the doing of it but you meet you might get past the midway point and say I need to finish the marathon so then you're reaching for a
00:20:43| goal you're focused on the goal and not the enjoyment of the thing that you're doing so for me the terrible metaphor cause is not enjoyable at all not even the big it not beginning the middle is
00:20:55| especially not the end okay I think we're going never ran a marathon so maybe I give us a run I mean from my car to the door I can think I can run pretty faster than those five feet you run it
00:21:08| you run a two mile piece you run a five paint back in high school I ran like maybe a 16 minute two miles maybe yeah and that's like pushing it like that's like kind of want to do this ever again
00:21:23| Colin I mean I understand that but yeah it's arrived hey dude I'm telling you on the podcast that this isn't a joke you should literally set yourself to do a 5k because I could um might be able do a 5k
00:21:36| tomorrow if I just said hey all I know if I pay huh because it's 3.1 miles it would take you under half an hour or about Ethne and you would feel accomplished like I'm
00:21:48| saying this for you on the podcast that has nothing do with this episode I really think you should set yourself a goal to run a 5k in under half an hour because I think that's six mile an hour
00:22:03| because I think it's something that would change the way you [Music] we change you it would be a major change but I really think you should try it's
00:22:11| like that weird and I get that it's like on if I pull the dough most people can do it if you just train for like two weeks five weeks they have walked for charity that was like a two-mile walk
00:22:22| and it was around of course that was maybe maybe a little less than a mile long so that maybe a few laps and for me it was astonishing to see people that could not walk in like they go around
00:22:34| once and then they'd stop like they were exhausted need a break even though they could walk the whole way so you can't walk how is that what a true I don't know this is variety of people but like
00:22:46| most of the people but like the people that were stopping might have been their it it's your body like not letting you finish like why would you just I don't know it's one of those things that just
00:22:58| it's bizarre today this is a thing that happens that is literally related to our episode homework the other day and someone goes can you touch your toes one of the other people that's my age and I
00:23:11| was like oh the rookies are talking because we're all the repeats like where the were the friends like for the BFFs and at the company and they're like I don't know I haven't tried in years and
00:23:19| they were all trying to touch their toes cuz no one's tried it's done in like years and they're like oh it's so hard and I was like stretched all the time I can do it but like there are certain
00:23:31| things you stop doing and don't think of because you're not even just like fetching the last abilities are gone and it's so weird that they hadn't even tried to touch their toes and maybe
00:23:41| eight years I hear they are and they were groaning at 35 to trying to touch their toes house like that's believable it was so weird but I was like that's what happens that's why people who were
00:23:55| like 40 or 42 they don't have free time to just jack around and touch their toes like Danny I mean they they're their days are so streamlined they are so proficient they're so good at what they
00:24:07| do but they don't waste time doing stuff like that and flexibility literally and becoming so proficient at what you do and so shark-like and so calculated to the second means you don't
00:24:21| have time to Jack around and do stupid [ __ ] and that hurts them yeah you become so good at what you do that you hurt yourself you lose all those other abilities that are just loose appendages
00:24:35| so weird and that's essentially what getting older is a little bit become so rigid stuck but again it's we're just focusing on the rigidness it's you're choosing that because you're being so
00:24:49| good at your time you're like listen I can get the groceries be home by this pack this do this do this and you did four things that you need to do for future you but you didn't just move
00:24:58| around them like an often like roll on the floor do stretches and yoga can you imagine some 40 different laughing delete or yeah how about what your kids do like yeah like where they
00:25:10| put their toe and turn their nose and you're like what are you doing I can smell my toes sniffing your toes for get off the floor no 140 would do that oh it's a waste of
00:25:24| goddamn time but there's something beautiful about wasting time not being proficient not being good at something that they they're flexible in other ways you know physically and metaphorically I
00:25:37| always imagined if I could retire tomorrow that like I would take this like a time period of like a month and just not try to do anything and just see what happened what would you do
00:25:47| I'm like it's like Tobias UK from he's a philanthropist yeah long regular he's literally a cat but like you find me like stretching and like reinvigorate in my body because I feel like it's very
00:26:13| rigid like I'm forced to do the same motions repetitively and well if I did not stretch yeah in a weird way like you're not like doing this at work for the hell of it like cleaning back in
00:26:23| your chair and reaching for things cuz why would you yeah that's a wasted time right yeah break all those connections that your muscles are making they're not allowing you to move around
00:26:33| touch your toes look at this have you even doctor yeah get those roots deep you see all goofing around also like for my career wise I can see the finish line and I just want to get there already
00:26:48| like if I could retire early and just be like boom done but it's a distraction because it's so far away also it's like I might be at the midpoint maybe well check this in doing so you want to gain
00:27:03| the system and get there quicker so you will put more time and resource into focusing on like thinking exactly so you can obsess spend an extra 20 minutes a day like doing this that will lead you
00:27:16| to half an hour a day worth of going towards it like do you know what I mean so you're spending this much time to get this much result you're still wasting this much time more a day doing it yeah
00:27:28| not wasting obviously but did not daydream having fun or playing or yeah and doing something else so you're focusing on something yes so that leads us into I guess career-wise I chose a
00:27:40| career that paid well and you chose a career that maybe didn't so if you could go back would you pick a career that paid better if you could restart your life right now
00:27:51| would you do it no because I don't know what I don't know what that would do to me I know that sounds stupid and I do want money and I'm broke we've discussed the entire episodes where I need to net
00:28:05| positive instead of net negative mmm-hmm and it's a disgrace etc etc but no not this way open to it in one sense say mean everything maybe little sure
00:28:15| not really though but but but I don't know what I'd be if I did that and I'd be afraid and again that's part of its fear I don't know what the answer would be maybe I think it better person you
00:28:27| can be lost one-dimensional I see a lot of people that are one-dimensional and I wonder how they could have ever developed be missing all these pieces I see a lot of
00:28:36| those people and I go did you just decide this one thing was good enough like when are you gonna wake okis yeah are they gonna wake up in there life crisis and say oh [ __ ] I missed out
00:28:48| on doing all sorts of I could have whole moment yeah that I missed like maybe they were completely unaware of these moments and later on they find out that other people had so much fun doing X Y &
00:28:59| Z that they never did they'll be like well I can't do it now it's a good point um regrets I don't know why keeps popping in my head no no I was filming with them
00:29:10| Will Smith in men in black where I'm Edgar I goes wild and I drug sugar water his wife is the girl from True Blood I don't know if anyone knows that agar agar what's wrong Hagar anyway um
00:29:25| there's a line he said his to worry he says get yourself a nice pair of shoes and then you needed Nick a new home decorator because damn and i picturing someone saying that about someone's life
00:29:37| who's one dimensional when you were just discussing that mm-hmm like by the way you wasted your whole time building up your business your entrepreneurship and you got nothing cuz Daniel Wolff Smith
00:29:51| voice I can't do it well Smith voice but people people set themselves down a path and they figure out the flaws in that path and then usually after their me they don't want to go back and relive
00:30:07| the path even if it even if they could get it right a second time around it's like how we already tried that we're not gonna go back and if you want to be existential about it nope at this then
00:30:18| maybe you feel completely fulfilled yeah I mean you pick a path it's like I'm playing an RPG I uh I put all my all my skill points into strengths and I got to unlock all these cool things and do this
00:30:30| but I never got to unlock the ones with charisma but if you went and did the careers in the ones you can unlock the this skill tree with those frames I hate that one as you can't fill up the
00:30:40| holy thing drives me you can't fill up so you have to pick one way or the other that's like life you can't get it all you literally can't I'm gonna get it all Nick you will sell your goddamn soul
00:30:57| I think also during this time frame like I switched jobs to because of maybe lip board I'm a little stagnation it was a little too easy maybe I wanted life to be more difficult at a time when it was
00:31:12| already really difficult I don't think you were to be difficult he wanted it to be different yeah that make sense you want AI wanted to experience something that might have been better
00:31:20| even though I thought right not gonna happen but I might as well give it [ __ ] because I would have been pissed at myself if I didn't give it a shot cuz that's a that's a phrase right yeah
00:31:33| rinse and wash rinse and wash I repeated that sentence she did yeah would you have regretted things would you would you want to have changed your path it's a certain point cuz a lot to me I not
00:31:49| always like that well I think the midlife crisis immersion does no because I'm a midlife crisis person so we always discuss explain this in a second so we always discuss um do we have any regrets
00:32:02| did I go to college for the wrong major etc etc yeah well I mean when you think about it I see my friends with no know what's this I became Prince with nasty my friend uh-huh my sister married him
00:32:15| yeah they have three kids if I didn't go to that school and pick that major and live my life they wouldn't have met and had kids like I'm not taking credit for their family but if I don't they don't
00:32:29| fail together in the same way and they don't have the kids and I don't have those nephews I have all three boys I love those kids they just scream uncle Nicky jr. likes every time they see me
00:32:43| all three of them even the one that's like just turn to he's like your legs and you can't say the words so he screams it at me it looks at me and smile he goes
00:32:59| no yours man nobody even knows why it started they call me uncle Nicky Julie your legs I don't get it either well because I have chicken legs and I think they made fun of the kids and I mean
00:33:11| keys you have uncle Nicky's chicken jr. uncle Nicky jr. because I'm tickled you know like McDonald's yeah and they um now every time they see me that's all they scream it and it's so funny because
00:33:22| if all three of them are hanging with my son who wants to be friends with them my own son looks at me and says oh they keep doing your legs are like you're my son but it cracks me up this they I
00:33:37| don't want to risk a life work they're not there so I'm like whatever this is the looking back and like changing your life so like if if I went being yeah well if I went back to being 18 years
00:33:52| old had to relive college I couldn't relive it in the same way I wouldn't it wouldn't follow the same way and I would remember the only exactly thing yeah even if I tried it
00:34:01| would fail like there's no way I would know the life I had and any delsa your head yes yeah it would change yeah I was regret not being able to recreate the life even though the life now might not
00:34:13| be that great the other life seems better grass is always greener I'm not sure what to do to get back to the happiest I could be you'd always be trying to be like manipulating the
00:34:24| situation in the scenario and it would never it would never work and never be in your favor she's so touched on younger kids but we didn't touch on like parents and
00:34:37| grandparents passing away cuz it's also part of like the existential like I have limited time here and that my guide is save save death for the end no literally I've said no no because that's I mean
00:34:52| that's I think it's ultimately what it's all about yeah but what I did want to touch on is the age so we said how 45 to think a more realistic look at what a midlife crisis is I feel like it
00:35:07| happened somewhere between 30 and 35 and then again in 15 years does that make sense I don't think so I think 30 is too young I think you have to have a full-blown family and be in a career
00:35:19| where you think that you're got its varies person person if there are people who have kids at 21 or 22 which I guess isn't as common nail so that freaks me out yeah cuz you you've lost like a
00:35:30| decade it seems weird really like if you had a kid 20 like 21 your kid would already be like 15 how weird would that that would be bizarre I guess you could have a midlife crisis at
00:35:41| that point then that's that's what I'm getting at so I guess a varies person person but I think nowadays in our generation when did man live to like thousand years
00:35:52| ago like thirty nine thirty telling old was like thirty five soon right so midlife crisis you get one of them now I think it's almost like you get two of them does that make sense I didn't come
00:36:04| across this in research but I even looked for it and I couldn't find it and now I'm almost like everyone has two midlife crises I feel like there's one where you start a family or start to
00:36:14| have kids or everyone around you has kids and you feel like you're different and then I think there's one when the kids reach college age and they kind of they go up
00:36:24| on their own and you're not old enough to be old and feeble yet but you're your room you're damn near close so I feel like there's two of them it may be that's a new thing because life
00:36:34| expectancy is longer but a midlife crisis is almost broken into early midlife crisis and later midlife crisis and I don't think there's a study on this yet but I'd like to anyone who
00:36:45| writes an article about it please quote me Nick from the unpaid roots yeah but do you do you agree thank you have a second a second life or maybe even like three lives yes I think
00:36:57| you have three lives right I took it this way so like you take the first 20 educated and building something towards a career because most of Americans they build towards a job and then you spend
00:37:18| sure building up your chops getting your salary up getting a nice base customer base so everyone call it and then after that it's like the rest of your life
00:37:27| yeah it's finishing up your career and then enjoying it and it's one of the weird things to read on the internet about people retiring earlier than most people and not knowing what to do it's
00:37:40| like you never enjoyed yourself end of it you just anyone who retires early worked so hard they never enjoyed themselves maybe yeah and they never they can never decide
00:37:52| what to do because they didn't enjoy it yeah they never had fun well thinking I never said learning the system they were can you really sacrifice you don't yeah they enjoyed it like not just enjoy it
00:38:03| they felt like they were gaming system a limited like you be careful there yeah winning and achieve your goal was winning and cheating and winning this goal so then when I'm done
00:38:12| the doing old English should enjoy so then when they're done and they cheated it and they won there's no new goal they're like oh damn I have to enjoy myself and I don't know how the game can
00:38:26| I can a game enjoying myself I guess suit so yeah it's like is there a cheat code to enjoy myself I'd love to try we gotta find a way of cheat enjoy myself so weird
00:38:45| trying to find the end with Neanderthals and our average lifespan yeah I'm trying to say well either way it was shorter than ours correct I had to be I know that's also
00:38:58| to set off offset by on infant mortality rate and stuff like that where discusses some previous episode yeah yeah cuz you you could literally steal your children leave one make it just imagine that
00:39:11| imagine trying for three or four years to make another human and it would take like a decade hold on this you're talking about stuff think about families huh two generations ago did they all
00:39:25| have like five kids seven kids 25% of it is old humans and Neanderthals survive past 40 that's a weird number only 25% survived past 40 it's a terrible one and four so three of four
00:39:47| died before a 30 now I guess some of that before T some of that is probably childbirth some of those probably midlife crisis n-no midlife what we're gonna say then it allows a segment like
00:40:01| I I don't know just like getting into a battle at age thirty years oh yeah that's like a tetanus like if you if you go to battle and you get cut by a blade it's like your odds of getting tetanus
00:40:11| and having it kill you or much higher because they didn't have it end up and the bizarre I take a shot from my leg oh thank goodness because you don't want to be writhing in pain where you can't
00:40:21| control your muscular spasms locked off yeah it's one of the craziness you better not put that in there or I'm gonna have lockjaw and bite on your penis and eat your brain quote I can't
00:40:33| remember oh [ __ ] I should know this one I know that's why it's your favorite movie I thought maybe you know talking about victims for the so say that they say that the sudden insertion of a blade
00:40:43| will make the victims joint down hard and oh yeah well in their jaw with a pry bar and oh yeah anyways oh honey and they beat him up mm-hmm what's this thing sweets gains of Bane's one thing's
00:41:03| for certain Bane's never one grabs the post and then Oh the guard pulls them back in here and they beat the hell out Oh such a good movie moving on the movie so let's go towards the end death I mean
00:41:26| because we've covered a lot of stuff but well there's one thing that's missing oh good attention is who gives you attention you know you get the less attention you get either that yes and
00:41:39| thence people literally ignore old people I think unimportant they probably want as much attention to us but here's the weird thing they also don't want us to know
00:41:49| when they fart in public they don't want us to notice when their dentures fall out they don't want us to know this one they're like they want attention but they don't want people to see their old
00:41:58| nests does that make sense I know I see it at home that's what I think if you're in the if I'm 80 right and I meant a register I want people to see me and like me as much as
00:42:13| I do when I'm 20 right now because you're the same person because your mental state is really mentally like the exact same person I just don't want them to focus on like oops I farted in public
00:42:23| because I'm older all my pants well I think about them in but I did fart a little fart out right um how about this one like I accidentally drool a little on myself I don't want the cashier to
00:42:38| see that I just want them to see me as a person so there's weird trade-off where it's like I want them to still notice me and like me but I don't want them to notice the weird show all the stuff
00:42:49| already starts to fail you yes so we as young people just ignore old people it's like a nice thing to do it's like hey he's all not good as known as you you're drooling
00:42:59| I'm girls but the trade-off is we ignore them I feel like they kind of get lonely like like they by ignoring their faults or their weird things or if the things are byes you're doing we're ignoring
00:43:12| them in general like it's a trade-off like a well nor the weird [ __ ] your body's doing but also we're not going to give you much ten-year-old it's like they're leaving the store and the store
00:43:24| is actually a life and you're in the store and they're not there anymore so you don't yeah I mean they're on their way out they're on their way out quite literally and that's a weird thing I I
00:43:38| don't know how I would feel about that I would feel so weird tonight I'm gonna be one of those old guys when only one of those old guys who has weird expressions and talks all the register girl organ
00:43:51| like and then like my answer will be the surprise well I hope I do guess what some of them really caught yeah it's gonna be 549 any weight from all the water and they're gonna be like yeah
00:44:03| even since 2019 that buh-buh-buh-buh-buh every--every witters 549 I'm like back in my day it was like a buck oh haha they're gonna be like that's great haha $5.99 let me be like you can have
00:44:20| it but you gotta give it back and then she's gonna be like whatever that means is she's gonna bring it off and I'm like just kidding you know it's gonna be a weird interaction I'm you're like man so
00:44:30| there are two moments that for some reason that triggered there's a right after getting out of like maybe grade school seventh or eighth grade I remember like that that summertime
00:44:44| freedom like I bet first day riding a bike long summer it's a long summer yeah eighth grade summer you have yeah you don't I guess you have certain things you can read a book or something but
00:44:55| that who cares and everyone waits until a week before or they [ __ ] the exam but you have we both went to the same school did you mister we'll call him not old but young mr. young I think maybe so
00:45:11| my first time coming to high school from grade school what are different schools different teachers no one knows anyone who ever yeah apparently it's a center reading summer list uh-huh fortunately I
00:45:22| don't read a goddamn book no we did have to read that where you go to Mount Everest oh yeah here in Detroit our been here yeah I mean oh I was supposed to read it the first day of class I had him
00:45:35| and he was like everyone bring out your book and I said I didn't bring my book today what what was it and they're like the summer reading book into into thin air by Jon Krakauer and I was like okay
00:45:45| and he called him me three times to quote it I didn't even know I'm supposed to read the goddamn book that's not my thing was giving me [ __ ] he was like oh well I guess you think you're better
00:45:54| than everyone attitude and he was a real dick and I forgot about this moment until right now I'm calling out in the tree hyung because you're an [ __ ] I didn't read it dips in air by Jon
00:46:07| Krakauer and I will never read it because of you sorry bitter I'm better what did what did you get the right trigger grade I think it'd be yeah who cares he's fine
00:46:21| but I mean it was probably an A grade but he was probably I don't like him yeah I don't like him anyway we're worried that the summer of freedom like the summer we mentioned I didn't read
00:46:34| into thin air [ __ ] that it's freedom ghetto you guys so much opportunity and chance and you could do whatever you wanted and it didn't matter nothing mattered which we may are finally like
00:46:44| coming into women's bodies they're finally noticing men you're finally making connections with people you're oh you're so close to driving baby you can taste it some of your friends or older
00:46:54| brothers might be able to drive the world is literally your oyster you can do anything I started staying up way later than you should oh yeah for I am you're still awake
00:47:05| you're wondering what the hell what's weird is our generation probably was starting to get internet access right then yeah you know like the Wild West is wide open we're growing physically and
00:47:17| getting better at every our reaction speeds or whatever you want to call it our peak human hmm hmm who's good time so if leaning on there is chance at this moment well the second moment that I was
00:47:31| going to talk about was that there was a summer there after my first year of college where I stayed back I was thinking it was a second year doesn't understate for the summer yeah I stayed
00:47:42| for the summer because I had like a job at the jolly cakewalk internships or cakewalk and there who cares they're fun so there was a summer there where I had lots of
00:47:52| free time and I would rollerblade around the whole campus and when I would go I would find that there was such possibility because I could see anybody and literally their path was I had to do
00:48:05| with that College so that means they were there so I could actually like stop talk to them and make friends with them and then the possibilities would be like endless that doesn't happen now because
00:48:16| so many people are tied to whatever they're doing like hurry when I hang out yeah you can make new friends because you're constantly doing something that you're
00:48:26| stuck in and so are they had a new friend at work anyway you made a friend I hate listen I just found out he plays guitar likes weird music instrumental music I was like oh god wait he lives
00:48:40| five minutes from me it was like if you ever heard of money telling us that was a cool that's around the corner I get my chicken cheesesteaks from there he's like he's like whatever dude I'm big
00:48:53| into sports and watching sports and I was like like I'm 28 let's just hang I'm like anyway we're not ready yet but I guys we texted and now we're Bros so nice we made it but like but as an act
00:49:11| that we're making a big deal oh yeah making up friend one individual friend and me wondering like show text him now should I wait like a week show you'd be like cool Josh I said an emoji like it's
00:49:24| weird that our age yeah because you don't thank you friends usually because everyone's so busy everyone so entrenched in their life everyone has a root so deep that like who's got time to
00:49:35| [ __ ] around if you're 30-something and you are people either think you're a pervert you're weird or you haven't been committed to your goals so it's like so
00:49:48| that brings up like the spousal thing like if you were single at this point of your life women would judge you negatively from people yeah because you can see how why are you still signal
00:49:59| single are you still single so weird I think they would I mean they'd wonder like what's your like what's wrong but there's something wrong with you
00:50:10| I like there's gotta be what's wrong the expectation is there is maybe she jumped right into death all right from spouses into death protection will be the dagger like yes you know why most men don't
00:50:28| murder or why why cuz look it's caught oh I was going with it's illegal how advice for so you could say what yeah murder no no seriously this
00:50:50| releases own funny oh my god your honor it's okay episode 118 one hour and three minutes my client says I love my wife seems a trainee the day the jury is just like oh he's a sweetheart but it's gonna
00:51:21| be the same you lard late 30s thank you he's got a recent this isn't good no there's something going on so death your honor super weird every one of our episodes ends with life or death but
00:51:38| those are the two ultimatums right public only live or you're dead or you're two-faced you're the middle somewhere and you're flipping the coin I guess oh yeah so midlife crisis is
00:51:56| really like your realization that you're getting older that you're that much closer to death I think it's a realization that you this is your life what you do with it is now if you don't
00:52:10| do now you could be dead could be over you don't get to do anything else you don't need to make a name for yourself you don't get to create your image you don't get to change your image your
00:52:21| image is what you left on earth that's it foul you're an accountant your khakis on the weekends that guy if you die at 61 from something that's you you're done you don't get to say no no I
00:52:35| was going to be cool I was gonna bike I was ooh me a biker I'm just waiting for the right time you don't get to tell anyone that bit you know what I mean like like there's weird inside potential
00:52:48| where you want to tell people out could be cool oh I can do this how he's gonna get into music and I mean I'm gonna be a drummer like you get to tell the world what you could be what you had the
00:53:00| potential what you want to be if you don't do it so the later you wait like I'm saving my money so I have a lot of free time then I'm gonna be that Harley God's precarious well it is precarious
00:53:13| cuz if you wait till you're 70 to start let's say even you you physically could have done it but you die it's gonna know you were gonna be a Harley but it's over it's gonna change the what literally
00:53:24| dies with you so there's this weird finality thing this is this is who I am this is the image I want to portray for everyone around me this is what I want people to know I could do this is what I
00:53:37| was into this is this is me pal it's your last chance to tell the world maybe I'm them some like this is a strange segue but there was a like the people at my old job they were younger
00:53:50| like there was a job for people that were between 20 and 30 and anyone that was beyond 30 slowly left so when I came to this new job they're still young but there's still some people that are in
00:54:02| their 30s and the weird part is that like their parents are passing away it's like their parents nothing grandparents but like multiple parents are like near death and it's weird it's really weird
00:54:16| to have someone that was like my age and they realized that like the person that raised them is gone I can't even think of that so we're I can't I mean I thought of it
00:54:29| multiple time for as little as I talk to my parents when I do talk to them I think you know when I do have something to say I'm glad that they're there and to give me the
00:54:39| opinion that I know they'll give me because there you can tell what they're gonna say then you know them so well but they usually so everybody says it's too late other friend Dan who's been on this
00:54:50| podcast is that any advice you get from her parents is literally the best advice okay not because it's most bias I thinking the positive of you like the positive positively biased for you yeah
00:55:04| yes because it's literally the best advices and they will give to you like they're not trying to trick you they're not trying to make you do a certain thing whether they're right or not is
00:55:17| unrelated that they literally think this is the best thing that you can do for you because they don't give a [ __ ] about your girlfriend or your cousin's nephew or the way you look in public like they
00:55:32| don't care about that [ __ ] your parents are older than you to a degree where they realize there are times when ting down there like this is what I have to give you like you want
00:55:42| advice curious there's no bias I'm not trying to game any system I'm not trying to get anything from you I might be wrong don't get me wrong but I'm literally going to give you the most
00:55:54| honest opinion if you like it cool if you don't that's fine so when I'm related to you so it's weird it's like they're they're like I'm a little bit you this is what I think my
00:56:07| one grandparent my granddad I liked him a lot and it was not a parent he might have just thought it was like another grandson but when he passed away you couldn't tell them that anymore it's one
00:56:19| of those things that there's things left on the plate that there's no way that you could ever get them off the plate like you were holding the bag and you're still holding it you should have get to
00:56:31| a point where I'm gonna play this long game out where I think I can trick him into doing this I think I can talk them into this and I think we can work around with this and then eventually a long
00:56:42| game I want him to think about this if you've only got eight conversations with a person left like honestly think of that let's say there's someone you love and you have eight conversations left
00:56:54| it's like [ __ ] it I'm gonna tell them every secret I'll tell them the whole everything I think but you don't even have the time to tell them like eighty years of your life yeah so what do you
00:57:06| do here's like listen a conversation plan Nik well thank God what would you do so weird so let's say you have eight conversations left with someone they're
00:57:20| younger than you right even if it's you or your kid your kids are too young to understand like complex thoughtfully yeah right but let's say it's you at age I looking to be like listen [ __ ] the
00:57:40| money also [ __ ] not the money like it's so weird but like I only got like eight conversations left I'm like I don't have time to tell you my whole life but I can do whatever makes you happy
00:57:55| [ __ ] have kids you boil it down to something that's cliche it's weird because you know exactly what it means but they have no clue but you really what would you tell them that's I think
00:58:08| this is every conversation that is like supposed to be like a key turning point that a parent thinks they're telling their children and their children just blow it off you're like whatever okay
00:58:19| yeah sure that's okay yeah grandpa like what else could you hey there's no way to impress upon them like all the experiences that you've gained there's no way like you have to do that
00:58:32| in little pieces throughout their entire life right now but again what if you have eight conversations left you're 88 you have some kind of cancer you're gonna see this person like eight more
00:58:44| times and be like I'll follow your heart like you know what you're passionate about it's a shame isn't it it's like a cliche isn't it really what is it feel your gut but like your gut will tell you
00:58:57| what to do what does that follow it well you would say I don't know I guess [Music] like after Allegan I don't [ __ ] know I think this whole thing is just
00:59:26| avoiding dying this whole midlife crisis wouldn't change my life hey I'm not too old I can change hey I didn't do this I can change hey I can I can show everyone who I
00:59:38| really am but life crisis is kind of an awakening it's kind of good yeah but it's also kind of like hey you don't want to time you can see you can protect yourself out into your own death
00:59:49| into your grave essentially you'll be on your your bed you'd be thinking what am I gonna tell my son am I the way of them damn I show them I can ride the Harley they thought I was a khakis on the
01:00:03| weekend oh my goodness ride Harley's luckily that's not a dirt bike you might injure yourself what no but if I'm passing away my son leans in and I get to say one last word be like don't say
01:00:20| Zeya tawan oh come on don't [ __ ] say it i banners and then you can't wait because you've hidden this yeah since you never know what I said cuz like really loses rated-r he's too young and
01:00:39| he's gonna watch him be like my dad was an [ __ ] it was Nick whose name I hated that guy the whole other stuff I'm thinking shut up like my dad talked if you're watching this be your dad did
01:00:56| plenty of talking okay time for me to call is there another aspect to this I don't know that there is no people just get stressed out and they just can't do anything about it and then they just
01:01:09| think is that them those people all those people with a midlife crisis would you ever still if you if you snapped legitimately and you wanted so I know one person that was like 50 and they
01:01:24| just disappeared they just like we're like I'm going dan and they've relocated they relocated they never talked to their children their spouse again they just disappeared
01:01:35| they they were alive but doing something else if that happened to you couldn't go that far I think I could either what would you do like how would you restart would you restart I guess but you know
01:01:47| what's funny I try and be like well I'm not gonna be like the old me I'm gonna definitely ride Harley's and every day I'm going to do the same job and live nearby but what happens is I'd end up
01:01:59| going to like you said the job I signed up for and saving money and I don't have as much time for my Harley so now I'm you know doing the dishes well I gotta do there's just what do you are
01:02:11| otherwise it's moving through the cycle again would you start another family and be like all [ __ ] like I got it it's just really a serial knew that yeah a serial restart er yeah but you can only do that
01:02:25| two three times you can do it more but [ __ ] oh I'd be terrified I know um yeah I can see myself doing it again but it would end up being relatively the same make me worse because you've already
01:02:42| been through it like the excitement is that much less but the responsibility is still a hundred percent I think it's exhausting the first time but like the second time through you're just gonna
01:02:51| like I don't know if you were to have like ten children you think the 10th one you're just like it oh god it's so cerebral but no I you you make a good point like you can only experience
01:03:03| something in like for the first time so amidlifecrisis is trying to experience life again the first time relive the most joyous moments sure and you can't there's no way it falls flat you can't
01:03:17| open a present on Christmas and always be every excited weeks having Christmas like seven weeks I'm gonna have Christmas again [ __ ] you all if you have Christmas every
01:03:27| seven weeks it's like it's like Christmas a war it's suddenly not Christmas is weird mental disease right there one minute's several weeks 752 yeah
01:03:39| don't know it does no it does not 49 79 so you have to do it over two years that's all and hope that there's a leap day in there I hope that heads up perfectly I think it does actually okay
01:03:56| every four years really good oh it's not doesn't that it perfectly is off by one day cuz will leap years every four right great don't do the math I don't even up to
01:04:08| reviewers don't do it I'll figure it out I'm gonna Matt so how do we sum this up we don't I'm a midlife crisis is all about not wanting to die and showing that you're young but sure you only do
01:04:21| it when you're old hold on then just crack the whole code some of you try to be young when you were old but you can't yeah you try to be young again but it's not what young is because you're old so
01:04:32| we can't possibly know it you can't it's like trying to be an opposite you can't do it hmm like even if you pretend to do it and go through the motions of doing it
01:04:43| and you know you won't actually actually do it dozen young women right like if you go back contra I guess you could pay them right that's the way that's the only way but I can't remember I thought
01:04:55| a concubine implied that they were like some slave I thought it was like um courtesan or Louisa like oh no courtesans are like they're like prostitutes for higher class their
01:05:08| cortisone core I put it on my wounds on tourism let me let me make sure I'm saying the right word here this episode one self courtesan a prostitute especially one with wealthy or
01:05:22| upper-class client well I guess that was eliminating clientele nice yeah it would only me that's for sure that's so empty I couldn't do that though
01:05:34| so what's weird is a midlife and I stopped working anyway so it didn't it wouldn't matter don't make me depressed a midlife crisis is when you are getting
01:05:46| older and you realize you're getting older and you want to show that you still have a young person inside you you still have youth Oh Gus touts weird is it's still in an older shell so it's
01:05:59| aiding it's it's forced it's like I'm Bob I'm gonna buy this new car ironically enough aren't most midlife crises convertible like no aren't they mostly show fueled by money like that
01:06:16| your money doesn't buy you the progressed back no even crazier you have to have money to have a midlife crisis I'm going to spend 40,000 on this to show and think of it you try to be young
01:06:29| young people can't afford this goddamn Corvette or this this midlife crisis that you're pretending to have mm-hmm so midlife crisis is entirely fabricated because a young person would not be able
01:06:41| to afford the midlife crisis you're having it's so weird oh I'm young again look I'm buying this $40,000 which no correlation could ever afford
01:06:53| no which is weird if you're trying to pretend to be young and spend the money that a young person wouldn't have it's really thinking that those things matter in the future when they don't matter at
01:07:04| all no one is looking as the person in the Corvette and saying oh I wish I could be him like honestly no no one gives a [ __ ] about you once you buy a Corvette when your middle table aged you
01:07:16| send it over here but you know you no longer get attention from anybody so its attention it's because we ignore old people the only way to get their attention is to by young people [ __ ] or
01:07:28| Bobby people [ __ ] something that screams hey I got this [ __ ] I'm important I'm important I'm not impotent and I am still alive this damn concludes our podcast I think it does oaks we like you
01:07:48| we like you a lot while you're here donate to our patreon it's right here we accept anywhere from $5,000 to $8,000 anything less you wanna give us 400
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01:08:13| we don't want him new Corvettes slide them right in thanks for listening tune in next time where we talk about the size of our e-news thanks check out
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