Transcript of Episode 82 - Wedding Party Celebrate Good Times
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00:00:00| two souls intertwined for all eternity their flames unite and explode in a ball of fire known as love I guess who cares weddings are bullshit let's do it so I'm Dan and I'm Nick books for old friends
00:00:27| dissecting one topic at a time people technology media we've got it all covered each discussion here is a deep dive in or unique perspective taboo forbidden subjects they're all on the
00:00:40| chopping block babies we don't pander to popular opinion with Mike you can get a little bit dirty morning this podcast may contain mature language and sexual content and is for
00:00:51| entertainment purposes only so join us have a good time open up your earholes fondle your follicles [Music] but they're live oaks
00:01:17| we're live yeah I don't really mean that some weddings are beautiful majestic unbelievably expensive and I don't know why they are expensive so we're gonna talk about I guess parties in general
00:01:30| and you know about weddings first because most II like doesn't gonna have that much to talk about with weddings right maybe okay cuz you're so well not Wed correct but I've been to over 15
00:01:45| weddings that's quite good mostly women's side female side it's probably almost split at this point I think I've been to like I went to roughly ten with my ex I've been know
00:01:57| few cousins a few other relatives an aunt yeah I've been to probably actually closer to 20 20 plus I think I love weddings I think I've been most to maybe like ten mostly yours yeah that counts
00:02:13| as one and you were there for my side luckily I was I'd be really confused to share there for her my maid of honor Nick speak now or forever hold your peace
00:02:24| I'm saying something everyone turns I love Dan get him out of here remove this man I don't know then yeah so weddings are uh it's like the big thing right it's like the old party or something
00:02:42| something like that I guess dot point I'm gonna hark on continuously is that they I don't understand why people spend so much money doing it or why things cost as much as they do and then like
00:02:55| that show of love it's like I get it you're supposed to like prove that your intentions for each other accurate and no one else can Wed your wife or your man or whoever you're you're trying to
00:03:09| keep away from other people yeah be like I I'm looking at you bill you're not you're not gonna get it this one so we're gonna profess our love in public and then they do like a ceremony
00:03:19| thing where you know they do the I Do's and they light a flame together they or at least butterflies or moths or guys yeah they're mine uh if you didn't do I love the the Virgin Mary one the in
00:03:35| supremely Catholic I want to say weddings oh we're going to sit there for a full hour yeah yeah she the bride has to slowly walk over to the Mary statue wherever it is and then kneel at it and
00:03:47| pray for a while like in silence awkward silence pray it's like a long silent act anyway I've only been to a few that had that but that's a goodie that's a keeper come on I've heard that there's Tom yeah
00:04:00| my roommate is like 90 years I think Debbie did it or a loser did you ask her what she prayed for like a long and happy marriage come on Mary come on Mary no I was busy getting
00:04:12| smashed on that bus and that's the other thing I've been in a lot of weddings Christ so in eight or nine or so so there's a division there the so the wedding I was recently I was beautiful
00:04:24| no no I'm gonna criticize that but the one weird thing is that when you're in the wedding and they put people on a pedestal you're like on a stage essentially with all the bridesmaid
00:04:35| groomsman bridegroom it's weird because there's a weird divide and you like crossing that line this seems weird like at the end sure it's fine but in the beginning people are off taking photos
00:04:47| capturing the moment and there's like a full like two hours where you're waiting to like maybe talk to somebody who's on that stage yeah right or yeah you I think a cool thing about that is that um
00:04:59| it lets the wedding party be with the wedding party because throughout most of the other events everything's flying by so fast and there's 900 million people that want to take pictures and things
00:05:11| can you help with hey can you do this you're supposed to meet over here his mother's or if she's really old can you help her then like 9 million people want to shake the fried and or nine the groom
00:05:20| yep and and someone wants to kiss the bride and I think it's cool that you're going to have a wedding party yeah I think they're just it's the friends or the brothers or the the real close group
00:05:32| for a little bit so was it weird but I don't know against it is it a true myth that they like the groomsmen are there make sure that the groom doesn't run away I thought that's what started as
00:05:43| because then that's why it was other like it's her brother it's her father it's her you know I mean like it was not necessarily all your best friends and in most cases they're paying a dowry right
00:05:56| the woman would pay a dowry so that the man would take the wrong woman yeah and goes the woman's father because she's like get rid of this sound whatever that's where I'm paying for the
00:06:07| wedding game from I think so yeah right it's almost like the dowry again check that out yeah luckily I don't have a daughter I don't have to do it yet there was a
00:06:21| weird split there was like a like how much does the groom's family pay for and how much does the bride's family pay for is the bride and groom's family under the bride and groom themselves pay for
00:06:39| it and then four percent was the groom's family died memorize that that's sick and I somewhere along that stat which doesn't add up but I think it's a like I saw like 11 percent who's like the
00:06:50| groom's family would pay 100 Artie gotta wonder if I'm one of the ones that they didn't list was like bride and groom helped by bride's parents helped by grooms for Indiana good split them yeah
00:07:00| yeah so I guess I'm talking about my own wedding cuz I got mine to your individual wedding anywhere you wanna go it was awesome right you loved it I did we certainly did great he had a great
00:07:14| speech at it yeah so this man who gave the speech as this man I've given a couple speeches to I'm like a speech I like just I'm getting good at it I'm waiting for my turn here no one wants to
00:07:25| give a speech fuck this shit believes in marriage anyway like just kidding ah wait so wait who were your who were you grouped I know I was there how do you think I remember let me see
00:07:42| we got you were the year with you [Music] Mitch Sam and then oh there's someone else maybe I'm wrong home sorry I said when you've been to so
00:07:56| many someone watching you leave it damn you did it's it's weird cuz you like for me I traveled away from all my friends and then like I had work friends but the work friends like you know they're just
00:08:12| work people like II kind of yeah periphery friends and then like inviting them back to travel someplace that I I was from and getting everyone that you're originally friends with but you
00:08:25| don't really talk to anymore versus the people that are actually your friends versus the people that your work friends they're like you know it's a weird for that weird mix of people and then the
00:08:36| weight of people wanting things like your parents like they want their friends there but like I've never met this one friend that you talk about like it's like you're never in shred through
00:08:47| thick and thin now I don't care yeah so you get some weird bat like battling between the moms and then how much each person gets and the relates the stupid stuff that people care about
00:09:01| whether your name is etched on something or if you use real silverware which is like a big thing like my parents like or they're like really good agitated by me giving plastic silverware to people I
00:09:16| didn't even remember Wow plastic no I'm not that I didn't remember because it was okay it's not okay that you you gave us the plastic shell off really that's low
00:09:28| I'm with them in fact looking back I I enjoyed it less now yeah yours was at an old whinnery right yeah yeah old winery in a barn uh rather run bouth lambrusco did you just
00:09:46| like hmm like what I'm bringing it back yeah a little bit maybe not on purpose maybe because it was there I don't know of all the things that you set up for your wedding whole little shit doesn't
00:09:59| matter it really doesn't like what's not the only thing that would matter is good music and alcohol if you won and who comes yeah but that one seems obvious yes Ben I mean
00:10:09| literally who comes like if you didn't invite your friend that would be really weird yeah I don't know like if like there's like royal weddings where they're trying
00:10:16| to like marry like marry two states together yeah that would Jesus strange like I guess the woman has no say in that anyway right
00:10:24| neither's the guy sort of thank you I got one yeah didn't mean it's like your son and your daughter and you married him up um someone at my work uh a lot of uh my co-workers from Greece mm-hmm
00:10:39| she's like always hitting on me and extra-friendly and she's in my age range so I'm always like I I'm watching you you know I mean but she's like she's not from America so I think some of her
00:10:49| things come across too friendly not friendly you know it's like I'm like I'm watching yeah it's a spattering at when she's married oh that's nice and I was like okay that's fine I'm not
00:11:00| you know but I didn't not seem that way and it turns out he's over in Greece he's coming over I'm like I could never could you do that so you could so I don't know what your beloved Israel is
00:11:15| that far away yeah could you yeah we could months at a time could you turn a penpal into a long-distance relationship turn into getting married right can you get
00:11:25| married long-distance is that allowed I think he still had the paperwork and sign it and then mail it off I'm not sure yeah I think you have to be in each other's presence to be married that's
00:11:37| all witnessing right yeah I mean that's exactly what we had to do and people be married over the internet though like like a live web streaming service oh oh I imagine you could probably get married
00:11:48| over a streaming web service by some kind of minister I mean I'm envisioning like if an astronauts on the space station and it's about to crash that's like but I wanted to get married to my
00:11:59| betrothed and they just like webcam him and he gets the party with some astronauts but before dies yep that's got to be legal I would think but nothing to keep in mind is there are 2.5
00:12:14| million weddings a year in the United States alone okay one percent population getting married a little less yeah I guess so but you can only get married well you
00:12:24| don't have to get married just once but oftentimes it's once do you have a success rate of marriage I thought it's like 50 percent get divorced is it 50 it's a high number and then there's like
00:12:34| starter marriages to like the people who just like get married when they're like in two years in I'd yeah next day annulment not gonna work the one I'm with she was married at a very young age
00:12:49| mmm her family paid for you know a lot of it it was all big to do friends everybody came out and a great time I think they did it in Vegas the thing is now if she were to do it again and get
00:13:01| married nobody's paying shit yeah you know I mean it's like yeah did she give the gifts back II they were it was years years later okay it was long enough to
00:13:13| keep the kids it's long enough for you can keep against calculate I am I know a couple people that were fiance and broke it off I've never heard of a wedding day break off but uh like I want to say like
00:13:26| two months out from their wedding I know someone they broke it off they have a kid together and uh soonly there after she was a month or two later she was dating the
00:13:39| guy let's say end nothing that's a quick turnaround I guess if you're faced with the direct comparison of someone who's better than who you have what are you doing let's say I don't know about that
00:13:51| it could be but I do want to say that um they got married huh and that was last wedding oh no I was at one in Nashville but before that I was at their wedding it was awesome so did that person get
00:14:04| the ring back from the cheater and then try to sell it or reuse it there was something about money and who owed who you see that's awkward especially since most of the bride's family pays for it
00:14:19| they're gonna be pissed the most yeah oh good well think it but she was the one who kind of broke it off so could she mm-hmm here's a girl yeah but are you gonna get
00:14:28| the true story out of the out of either party how do you tell she trust he did it to me yeah well here's the crazy part about this whole thing when you marry you you
00:14:39| tie two lives together financially spiritually I guess not really emotionally physically is really definitely physically definitely and familiarly which is kind of the cool
00:14:54| part yeah yeah it's cool if you've lis other familiarly it's cool if you have other families that are decent like would you marry someone who's this shit person but they
00:15:05| have like the best family ever like I just want your family I didn't want you so I was dating someone for like multiple years I enjoyed her company we're great together a lot of fun went
00:15:17| to a lot of sporting events I loved her family like her dad was like practically my dad your mom all her friends all these weddings we went to I was loving like all her friends were
00:15:31| like my best friends but they were really hers and at one point I was like I don't really want to date you anymore but it kept going on and at some point I was just like I don't want to leave her
00:15:44| family and her friends and everyone else it was like almost like yeah there's a weird rift not like who gets which friend and it's like but there are my friend for real but was like but they're
00:15:56| a better friend to me and then I'm signing let the record show I let her keep everything and that still wasn't enough so we'll we'll leave it at that I don't think that you can win that
00:16:09| battle no you can't it's there were friends originally anyway like if you try and stick around or try and like be friendly with all these people still it's weird it puts stress on them so
00:16:20| what about like shitty wedding it's like you've probably gone to a wedding that just felt weird or didn't have totally kind of duds there were like real lane early ended
00:16:30| like 9 p.m. like the food was I don't really remember him that much I guess so so I don't remember them when I go to a wedding I kind of expect everyone to go all in
00:16:44| because like how often does this happen like really it's like maybe twice a year so it's exactly what I do I'm like expecting people to stay up until at least when the bar closes oh yeah dude
00:16:55| that's when wedding after parties are wild like I the merging of different weddings and they started hanging out and saying I can't it's crazy like you see someone's father he's learning a
00:17:09| suit you met him once the day before for an hour at the rehearsal dinner and you just had a couple nice things to him but then like you see him on the wedding day and everyone's getting smashed and you
00:17:18| and him are high-fiving and laughing about something you're both waiting in line for drinks now he's like your BFF he sees you across the hall he's like 60 years old he's like yo dick remember
00:17:28| blue he does the thing from like ten minutes ago it's like an inside joke we just created and I'm like so then you see him four hours later and everyone's so smashed people weren't ides around
00:17:38| their heads it's last call at the bar we're in the hotel lobby only like 14 people are left and they're all in disheveled shape and the mess everyone's like where's Marty to go you didn't make
00:17:48| it back you know people are going crazy and I see the dude I do the thing again and he's like oh he's dying laughs I got to buy me a drink the next day he's like Nick I'm like yeah like it's weird
00:18:01| because it's like you create these super best friends but it's so quick I don't really know them but they're like my besties that's how I party that's how I do weddings I go hard I dance I dance
00:18:16| with the old ladies dance with the I dance against the kids like you know you're supposed to let a kid win take a mouth five-year-old girl I'm like should I do my own butt work the cameraman
00:18:28| cameraman hates me yeah I sweat it up a little bit see now some of these weddings rely like the ones you're enjoying thoroughly they rely on people being open to doing those sort of things
00:18:38| and I've been to weddings where it's just like the people who are supposed to dance are defined by clear delineation of age and it's like the older people sometimes they don't get down oh they
00:18:48| about the UH the um hey everyone on the dance floor if you're married yeah that's what I like to see Hey keep dancing if you've been dancing she's been married for over 10 years out
00:18:58| there yeah let's hear it wow that's a girl hey you gonna give me 25 years out there that's incredible man that's true hey keep dancin if you've been dancing for 50 years and then everybody goes
00:19:13| whoa there's like two couples and then the guy has to try and guess to me how long they've been like kids have you been married for 60 we've gotta hurry this up and 75 years
00:19:30| no like calling the men off the dance floor really they just can't hear they turned off the hearing aids so that happened at the previous wedding I was at and then once they were done dancing
00:19:40| I didn't see any old people on the dance floor hmm I don't know how they got them on the dance floor to begin with cattle prods there's a fire process yeah hmm our
00:19:52| friend our mutual friend Ryan like to do chugging groove we've ever done that at a wedding No so where you put a cup in the middle like on a chair or something and
00:20:02| everyone stands in a circle and as the music's playing one person will walk up to the cup and do a dance like they think dance uh pick up and chug from it and then put
00:20:12| it back and then they do their move back out and then someone else's turn to go in and everybody eventually is chugging from one cup hold like Chuck grew so they have there was a version of this in
00:20:24| another wedding where they it's like I spin the bottle but you get picked and then you do your little dance and then you pick up a bottle and you spin it again then someone else does a little
00:20:30| thing I like the Chuck and group idea there was a moment in the wedding I was just at that I was like I need to grab a bottle because this would be a perfect time where everyone's in a circle and
00:20:40| people are all being awkward and I was like you need to spin a bottle and just get the awkward people in it but there was like plastic were where so you couldn't like that you weren't allowed
00:20:51| to have any one of those wedding yeah mmm so it's it was tough I don't know why yeah so another weird water someone would go plastic instead of silverware
00:21:02| I know why another weird part was that I guess the County were in it required that you had a police officer from that County at your wedding and he was like walking
00:21:12| around the building like poking his head in yeah and he was doing nothing he was just standing there watching I guess it's like a way to get overtime get paid better I got my first ticket for turn on
00:21:21| red red wine well I think it turn I mean it right on rail and you actually got a ticket for that yeah I probably done it close to 7000 times in my life right word says no turn on red you just look
00:21:35| left you look right and then you turn on red it's very easy oh yeah yeah those are bullshit anyway does that cost you like other bucks 140 bucks this guy and then the cop was a real dick and uh he's
00:21:50| writing me off my kids in the back and that's all the reason I got the ticket is because I kept turning around and cheering all my son telling them go ahead we're going shop and we're gonna
00:21:58| get hot dogs when I cook hot belt or something I forget blur was never went down terms that we still went good but it was just like I kept looking around back at him otherwise I spot cops
00:22:09| like okay guy mile away I gotcha pulls me over became a regular person they kick it and then the then another cop saw him so he pulled over and you know now I'm like oh god it's my info up
00:22:23| to date do I have my ID today am I gonna get shot you know cuz I like funk music I still playing it as he came a little close to the car and lowered it a little bit he's like do I smell something he's
00:22:36| like that's funk yeah that's some goddamn lowdown funk pal that's the New Mastersounds that's British funk are you okay you want to get down and uh he didn't say anything
00:22:48| he's giving me the ticket I know he's gonna write it up anyway because he just looks like a dick and the other guy came up and he's all tatted up and he's kind of cool and he's like shirts undone and
00:22:56| the other cop and he came over he's talking to my son he's like hey you alright little buddy you want to take a picture at the cop car he's be all nice he's being like the coolest dude and I
00:23:05| was like ah thanks man he was scared for a little bit thank you thank you the guy was like this cool cool as he said are you cool he bothered you and honey who some of the other cop
00:23:16| he said like his he is getting you like what's he doing to you and I was like now I've been oh cool and then he went when we walked away and it turns out I had the chief of the
00:23:26| police for the AH and the chief can't let you go because that's a bad precedent I had just gotten pulled over by the cool dude with the tattoos I wouldn't be saying here
00:23:37| hey chief I had sex with your wife but you're watching this enjoy anyway I probably got a hundred forty bucks we'll say you hold that on your chest for a little while yeah it felt good to get it
00:23:48| off my good Heath chief chief pal he watches now anyway sorry to derail from wedding yeah I would a copy at a wedding cops ruin everything I was assuming that unless it was the tattooed cop I think I
00:24:01| was cool now no I'm assuming that they're like watching for drunk drivers or maybe he's like seeing who drinks too much and then they're just like on their ass making sure that they they don't
00:24:10| like give out too many drinks like that seems ridiculous though in a wedding it's stupid what do you supposed to go I've seen so many people get so blasted at weddings and that's the fun part
00:24:20| you're like you remember that time you just passed out on the floor and everyone was dancing around you it's like we had to drag you out the floor and they're like I don't remember any of
00:24:31| real that kind of now that didn't happen did it yeah it did no certainly do we have pictures a cool thing is also the average cost of the wedding did we go
00:24:45| over it oh well 30k no I tell ya 30 to $35,000 in the United States at least in yeah and there's a breakdown here ah a man got the numbers I um I haven't looked at it since I just haven't looked
00:25:04| at it I can glanced at it so why don't you pull it up and give me a little bit of a taste these vary greatly depending on what you do where you are this is just general work yeah so the venue I
00:25:16| think for mine it was like 6 K or something but the average is like 13 so you keep doubt check mark cheap mm-hmm was value driven yes yes indeed value driven
00:25:28| so that I mean that sort of makes sense because the people that are getting drunk there needs to be like an alcohol license and the liabilities on them so if the more people that are getting
00:25:38| drunk the more liability so spending the most time their true I mean it's literally a time you're paying paying for the time you have in a place is like a banquet hall easily mm-hmm I may
00:25:49| include the engagement ring in this most people are spending six K almost on an engagement ring really below that honestly though for a woman's wedding ring was have enough
00:26:06| diamond on it can it just be like a man's is that weird would that be weird if you're like let's wear the same ring honey and I mean truly love each other yeah yeah here's Cracker Jacks yeah I
00:26:21| found this one at the Bob ring pop but could you do like if you were to propose you'd have to probably put like a multiplier and whatever you like this can't cost that I don't even remember
00:26:32| what the how much this rose I have bought spares just in case so it's like it's six K for a diamond ring um somewhere in that range yeah it's ridiculous I don't know why you need to
00:26:49| profess your love like that and then like why this week we talked about this on our previous episodes because it's ridiculous and there's no other reason for it and then to profess your love
00:27:00| like there's no practical reason someone would have that it's a standing stone yeah and the status alone is like saying hey I love you so much I'm willing to do a stupid status thing for you but isn't
00:27:10| that like the wedding overall though I mean if you're gonna do some gigantic bash you're trying to show everyone that like you're bash is the best which is sad to begin with because the best bash
00:27:21| has happened in college when you have no money we're gonna touch all nighter coming up to we're coming up to so the band what's next the ban 3,500 for DJ no I don't think they're paying a DJ that
00:27:35| much gjz like a 1500 so I have no idea and I think a regular band probably has like well at 4 to 5 members maybe right it depends on the band and wedding bands always have the horn section you
00:27:45| got to have like James Brown songs and stuff yeah weird you have I had like a shout out to Philly horn band I think there was like ten members mm-hmm they were good they were they were getting
00:27:58| the crowd going so that was the one of the keys is that they're pulling people are easy I've been to two other weddings with them oh yeah if they're that solid yeah they're good and that's why once
00:28:09| you said their name of like uh yeah Danis right yeah they're yeah it's it's worth it to get a live band cuz there's so many people that probably if it was a DJ they just be like oh it's a song but
00:28:22| a live band the guys like screaming in your face and be like oh and then like they're belting out like Whitney Houston songs this is like it depends on the bands that that band has such range
00:28:31| because it's like a black and white thing it's got horns it's got other horns it's got like three guitarists a woman singer a man singer so like yeah hovered like you got everything yeah
00:28:42| that's good Odo's photos like 2 point 4 K a lot of people ask for like 3 K but it's just like what you spend a day taking pictures and then like the only real thing that you're giving people is
00:28:56| like I'm a book shit photo fotox yeah yeah please do I don't understand why it would take 3 K to do that and some people have a photographer and a videographer and the videographer is
00:29:12| like the same amount of money it's like you're paying like 5k for like those combination of people those clowns say clowns I can't believe Italy it's not even like
00:29:22| special acquit you're trying to figure out how much it was you're looking at photos ready you know she so I'm gonna go ceremony site so sometimes a different spot we did do that wedding
00:29:37| dress people spend like 1,200 bucks on a wedding dress again most of this is female centered so it's makes sense that the bride's father would pay for whatever the bride wanted because
00:29:49| they're the ones that are spending the most blank they're choosing to spend on my 20 damn I was gonna shit talk so Mike mr. paid for a photographer and what did you say the number was I think it was
00:30:00| close to that number yeah 2,400 yeah it was probably like 2 grand mmm they never gave him pictures what yeah they went they had to go to like the news like you know you report bad business he moved to
00:30:13| Canada because like you know he's a claimed company like 3 cm or some factor with the name of the company I would shit told him and other people claimed he did the same thing in like that
00:30:25| timeframe so my sister never got pictures from her wedding like from a professional photographer and then we got a running back so I they tried to seal them and all that but he moved into
00:30:35| Canada with like his mom or some kind of sign like his mom was sick and he can't pay you know work on it and stop leaving stop the hatching him you're bothering me they're like you know those files are
00:30:48| all digital and you just like send him an email you're like pink here's your repair damages unless he really didn't do it or he just took the money or who knows I'd
00:30:56| know yet he's faking taking photos the entire night we see no no not going done another crazy thing about weddings it's fifty three point four billion dollar a year industry yeah cuz if you tell
00:31:24| somebody it's for a wedding it doubles in price for some reason your food your cake yeah yeah flowers like all that hey cutter how to cost money doesn't it like ridiculously expensive car forty bucks
00:31:37| yeah it's a little triangle thing it's like 30 or 40 bucks someone didn't say it it comes a cake that costs like 20 bucks extra it's cake cutting time and then it's
00:31:46| like putting me is that a chitchat a real thing no but if you have a DJ or my head they're probably like the fees said I would have Michael buffer say ladies and gentlemen let's get ready to cut
00:31:58| cake it would be pretty awesome one yeah he just comes in for that one moment yeah that's like a grand I got you everyone pay attention they can't cut though yeah they would do
00:32:11| you know what the average age for people to get married is I heard it for females is 29 from males of 31 yeah my man I'm already past my prime I'm out I'm not going it
00:32:23| you're gonna bring up the average how old was I was 30 I think 30 probably no its 30th ugly she she's still 16 or achieve yeah she graduated grade school high school no that's not true
00:32:38| yeah Ridgeway she's a little under 40 people she's older than me old-timey hmm a lot of people are paying per seat like um food caterers caterers mine costs for somewhere in that range well I'm
00:32:59| surprised it doesn't have food on here for some reason maybe that's part of the Denny's ID maybe okay Bend you probably but that I mean what do you what do you give as a gift when you go to weddings -
00:33:11| no shit how much hundred bucks you don't do 158 oh my god mica my man living here in the past where it won't 50 now oh you're up to 150 that's the thing Oh a new thing
00:33:23| when we started going away he's it's like a hundred a plate now it's 150 you gotta come with the get with the times man come on pop I feel bad now yg did you just drop a 102 you I'm sorry I
00:33:42| didn't a direct friend of mine like a real friend or like a friend and say somewhere in the probably real friend I'll say real friend are you worried he's watching so he's
00:33:51| not a friend no I'm not worried about what I do things at night now I know because it was a woman I know I know see I'm sexist I didn't think women could be friends you've got me there
00:34:04| well that's that's the that's the barrier there is that you a man trying to be a friend of a woman is gonna have a difficult time because it gets a like an awkward just I have a story about
00:34:15| this okay so please there are maybe two or three women at my work that are married that I'm friendly towards and I can't specifically ask them to do anything like with me like I can't just
00:34:28| be like good luck you can't be let's hang out yo little dog let's play some Xbox come on yeah I did if you could would that be weird or even like I live in an engineering world where it's like
00:34:40| there people are building things so like I can't even like ask them to be like can I go see what you're building like give me a tour of your lab when you can I mean I would think you can but you're
00:34:51| northern I think the southern women are a little bit more uptight about absolutely right you could be right about that it's to consider that it's surprising me
00:34:59| so if you're a married woman in the south it seems like you can't really have another male friend without like swimming eyebrows being raised this makes sense say like the Greeks that my
00:35:11| job wouldn't do too well in the south they get a little flirtatious a coffee machine is that a common point of interest she she wanders over and tries to make you a cup oh my god no she's
00:35:24| like old school grieving well I guess Greek is old school she's French dressing that you'd be drinking I tried to drink coffee and she's like no it has been on there for
00:35:32| over an hour we are making new new pot and I'm like it's fine it's just coffee and she's like no and she grabbed it it's ruined the sink and threw it out and I was like I was gonna drink it and
00:35:44| she's like we will make a new pot you have to do pot and I'm like okay but then like with them like any of the Greek people at the job night are like her some of the guys some of the other
00:35:57| girls like when we're talking they like they understand everything I'm saying but then like I don't know where the conversation ends they're like you should date going good or bad and I'm
00:36:06| like it's good and they're like the awkward yeah that keeps staring eye contact I'm gonna go do some paperwork but I love them the cool I just I don't I'm figuring it out still hmm
00:36:21| but that's maybe it's a great thing OPA oh he oh he oh he Malacca hope is like cheer right when you drink I actually don't know I know oh he is no oppa's probably to cheer
00:36:36| ah Cali meda I think that's good morning and then this one's jerk-off Muraki oh fuck yeah I learned the bed words I forget what um fuck is they they told me I was using it for a while no care to
00:36:53| written down in a notepad now I try and memorize it doesn't work too well here uh to wrap up weddings because we move on I want to say that um ten couples that died on their wedding day was a
00:37:05| really popular BuzzFeed article uh-huh the coolest one was death by speedboat they were like cruising on their loss pontoon or spit or something and an out-of-control speedboat went out of the
00:37:18| way just pull out through the newly married couple yeah yeah recently in fact on the news this had nothing to do with our episode a couple died in a helicopter thing because they wanted to
00:37:30| be taken away from their venue via helicopter right into power lines or something I think it crashed that's a name and kind of Rodolfo's killed a couple how crazy is that on our wedding
00:37:43| night we'll think about it that's when she's the most enraged right if she I'm pretty sure was a woman I'm not I can't remember the whole article now she followed him around and waited to the
00:37:53| wedding night and kill them both in color I think she killed herself wow that's intense fear glass guy fell off the pier and there's a beer glass and his jacket or his trousers and uh glance
00:38:06| like preferred his femural artery and he bled out and then like she like I somehow she died that I didn't read no article very well she wanted to save him by jumping off and then blame it on the
00:38:18| same beer glass a lot of people get hit by cars there was a couple doing a photo shoot and uh I don't think they both died well I hope it was like near lava like there's just nail uh-huh they were
00:38:32| on like a pier and the pier collapsed one of them died or something that is pretty sad Robert II said is actually sad another thing that happens is do you
00:38:45| know what ring abortion is no there's a hundred and fifty thousand cases a year in the United States is that where you're like Han swells up and then your ring gets stuck and then you have to
00:38:57| lose a finger it'd be it could be anything could be that the ring gets stuck it could be that there's a sudden jerking motion could be an assistant Jimmy Fallon think Jimmy yeah yeah could
00:39:08| I so being married is actually dangerous it's not good for you it's unhealthy it's fun you think it really works out for a man to be married yeah for anyone I mean you're pledging your life to
00:39:25| someone at 20 you live to be 80 so at one-fourth your life you're pledging the next three parts of your life right yeah essentially there is a point though that like if you're in the realm where
00:39:38| married people stick with married people and they can't really have friends outside of their married couple then it's like it gets weird because everyone has their own little island so if you're
00:39:49| not pledging yourself to somebody eventually all the other people have their own Island and then who you're left with is a nice pool of rejects I assume or people who didn't get married
00:39:59| I mean yeah I'm not gonna move all the rejects out like now you're right I mean what does that leave behind you're not married by the graph I saw had like thirty five as like the 80% of your age
00:40:16| group by 35 is married what's sad I was reading something about tinder like people are getting on tinder after being married for six years another 28 and they get out and it's like surprising
00:40:29| how many people are coming out of marriages at that point of time but it makes sense for women men are not really during my time line of trying to procreate so women are stuck to like pre
00:40:41| reading there was a study of like old wives and French labor camps or so for the Puckett's broads bras yeah to be official about it
00:40:54| lizard-like after 35 year your ability to carry a child is really reduced so if you're a woman you gotta hurry up but if you're a man you could be like that Indian guy who procreated like 90 so you
00:41:11| don't have to rush hmm that might be I'm not gonna say I gonna say how about gay marriage no you're on the side now that I'm on the subject what doesn't my 26 2015 over obergefell
00:41:28| versus Hajus Oh birch full versus high just great court case had all to do with the 14th amendment I believe it was on equal opportunity for all people of some sort hmm okay that by allowing
00:41:40| heterosexual couples only to marry they were a word of the gifts of like you know you get tax benefits you know tax benefits all that and you can't do that because you're excluding a group of
00:41:55| people for their beliefs or their desires or whatever mm-hmm so they did a survey in 2007 of the u.s. general population populace since 1997 that the four percent of people opposed
00:42:09| gay marriage 37 supported it I don't know the numbers in between so don't tell me they don't add up by 2016 or so I think is 117 32% opposed the idea of gay marriage and 67 supported it's
00:42:27| literally a flip hmm which I say go for it it's weird so where do the people become more tolerant open what was the time difference 2007 to about a year ago that
00:42:40| is kind of bizarre but I guess with the media though very yeah it's media driven plus there's a awakening the tapping was there is now cross the church it's a real yeah well the church is now in its
00:42:57| downfall I think but there's also a realization that people are people you know not not you can't like hide in your own little Enclave and then decide that I guess you can so
00:43:08| people can decide that a certain person is your enemy but now you can read as much as you want about a certain group of people or meet people or make friends with them and then it's like oh I didn't
00:43:17| realize that you were the thing I thought I hated and then that wall comes down and people hope them open themselves up when I start meeting what more people avoiding being shot um
00:43:28| actually up until that 2015 ruling in the Supreme Court 14 states disallowed gay marriage and my whole thing with it is like why do you disallow it like this go for who cares we're a worry like
00:43:44| talking about weddings or no no like weddings are they're fun to be at but what do they mean in long run I don't know that they're monumentally powerful so if that's the truth why would even
00:43:58| care if two men or two women want to get married like should go for Jesus Christ guys want a wedding they're awful they're expensive yeah I feel like um this like affects
00:44:09| like health insurance too like domestic partnerships like I feel like they were a new thing like within like the past ten years so all of a sudden were allowed to give our health insurance to
00:44:18| other people really that's crucial so he could have a malady that sets you back an entire life's worth of earnings and you can't come back from that why would you prevent people from being able to
00:44:31| cover themselves in a situation like that most people have like a cancer or something that really debilitating wiped out roughly 15 years of their savings within a year or two
00:44:43| it's crazy spread this yesterday yeah but that's because health care so good in this country and ironically I'm eligible for health care at my new job today hey you're gonna know if it's free
00:45:00| I just gonna do it whatever don't don't let don't ya don't you think about just sign a check mark so we're talking about gay wedding freak weddings all sorts of weddings folks so do you think they
00:45:16| should cost that much as to I'm no of course not how much would you spend and what would you do like gift out Milan and I would do dubs everywhere I want to just have dubs I want to have
00:45:30| a wedding I want doves to carry us into the sky and we have a wedding in the sky I don't care how many John woos wedding would be a dope-ass oh no you know what
00:45:50| the other reason um I won't get married for on the cheap or like as a side is because I think I want the party you enjoy the party I love it and can you imagine if I had a wedding I was like
00:46:02| yeah we went to the court we paid a couple of thousand bucks and we had like three people show up and then we we left we had to go to work that day that's the opposite of me I want to be a
00:46:14| distributes like I want to the whole it's the last chance of him what are the next parties that you're gonna go to if you were really in the scheme of things is maybe you have a kids party you can't
00:46:26| you can't party because it's your birthday anymore I mean that you can but you're getting older and they're to push it you can't force people to go to that you can force people to go to your
00:46:37| wedding some people are socially afraid of like the whole I have to see so many people and another thing you didn't bring up but I know as a fact is the wedding
00:46:46| thing goes by so fast because so much is going on so let's recap a conversation it's oh my god I can't believe I just was talking to so many people and you know I have so little time and I just I
00:46:56| gotta go you see by this it's like I didn't you look great congratulations catch you later I wanted to talk about death damn the movie with Antonius block Antonius block no idea
00:47:12| what that is oh I know I know yeah I know show them out like I don't know anyway maybe does every seal yes that's what it was god she's walking away you're like I want to
00:47:25| talk about death as a real human character in the seventh seal and she's keeps walking you're like nevermind so I name is Antonius block if your wedding lasts what 7 hours is that
00:47:37| a normal normal time long well okay sure except we'll say 7 so that's you doing all that if there are no photos which is ridiculous say you have 7 hours of our guests then you have a hundred and 140
00:47:52| with the average so I'll use 140 because that's even more ridiculous and seven hours after generating in 2016 you literally have three minutes to talk to each each I guess if you're talking to a
00:48:05| couple you could probably have six minutes yeah okay sure but even then that's yeah you're not really you're not eating you're not dancing you're not taking photos it's probably
00:48:15| half that it's probably have three minutes with somebody to talk to somebody while that is crazy and technically you probably do it in a smaller window like more like an hour
00:48:23| and a half window yes so you probably only have me reducing probably two minutes to talk to people and that's no there's no transitory ously more time with certain people right your friends
00:48:36| your BM yes your so yeah I mean it's almost like I was touching on this one I went to the wedding and like the bridesmaids were isolated and like I knew one of them so I was saying hi but
00:48:49| it's like it's a weird feeling because they were literally like between the dance floor and all the tables and that was like a nice 50-foot gap so it's like I wanted to say hi but it's like I only
00:49:00| have so little time and then there's so much time I can't walk those those feet this is precious seconds before there's an event but it just seems like your parents are always in your ear someone
00:49:11| here is in your ear that the wedding planners holiday photo August person your BFF shows up yeah he's out of town like you want him to high-five and be like yo mother F we're really good so uh
00:49:22| but really then then your around you turn around you're like mom I know everything's going wonderfully I'll look into the silverware actually okay someone gave us a store where I ordered
00:49:31| the real time alone the wife is wondering if this looks okay someone's broke someone had car troubles one relative always gets car troubles so it's like oh
00:49:41| my god uncle Marty still at the store he is car broke down someone send and get him picked up and then someone's like by the way two flowers with wrong color and you're like
00:49:49| oh my god what there were the wrong what and they're like well they still came they were just a different color I didn't even notice well good sir here you go oh by the way
00:49:57| we increase the price you know this and then your father's over here and then the father-in-law's over here and then telling over there says hey you still owe me a dance for my school sweetie but
00:50:06| it's really your friend it's probably me I say yes and just like lose everything going on at once and it's like it's just wild and that's why the speech is the most important
00:50:17| thing it's what everyone shuts up and listens to me yeah do you ever you ever feel like the bride's the maid of honor does it better than the groom's own never it's all we ever seen it yeah
00:50:28| actually that's a lie I've had like three groomsmen who were only groomsmen because they were brothers and therefore it wasn't a friend groomsmen like it's a brother he was like sometimes people say
00:50:42| we fight but I love my brother Joey one time when I was seven remember Jimmy I won I love you guys congratulations everybody drink and it feels like what a chance yeah
00:51:03| at that point I almost wanted to like I'm going to do speeches at weddings for people who have shitty speakers I want to be like listen I don't know you can make a few things up maybe put this in
00:51:15| here oh this is gonna be good like a Kevin Hart movie where he's like yeah he's the best oh yeah yeah I can do that it's like that's probably where I could do for a living yes uh-huh
00:51:25| I couldn't lie to people to that extent so I guess I couldn't do it but I love going to weddings I love uh bringing the cheer the dancefloor breaking the ice there should
00:51:39| be a team of people that you know it's maybe like three or four people that come to a wedding and you just you paid them to be there to make it more lively for other people use it
00:51:49| there she be it for out of that 30k budget there should be a gesture budget the gesture should be paid a hundred bucks apiece just to enjoy their time make other people enjoy it to that what
00:51:59| a gesture was really do you think we think we've been like misplaced it so far that we've made it look like a clown but really it was just a hilarious guy it was just who grew up in Northeast
00:52:09| Philly I don't know born and raised and we're talking a lot about weddings we're about most enjoyment at a party well you can out with a girl 100% love getting sexual on ladies at a party especially a
00:52:32| house party oh god I don't think that I ever had well that's not right well like ultimate relations and I never Leyland going although ever two ladies at the same
00:52:43| party okay I'm waiting for you answer whether that was it not gonna respond to that but I will say I love parties the same reason I love weddings
00:52:59| is like there's like groups of people like naturally what happens at any party whether it's a wedding or not is that people break off into these groups where it's like the best friends from college
00:53:08| over here yeah Antony uncle me and my uncle in the end the uncle on the one side of family over here like grandma with her daughter and the one girl who has a lazy eye or
00:53:19| something like they're always together you see them everywhere like there's it's groups they naturally happen it's like planets in this mountain space like just collection as mass swirls and all
00:53:28| these things happen they creat being critique Friesian discs yeah I move anyway my thing is I love to get into each orbit and just tell a joke like get a smile I love going group to group I
00:53:43| can be a little different in every group like if it's your ladies I'm not saying fuck's up bitches might actually work Benelli I'm like yo what's up ladies everybody warned dance
00:53:58| and I do like a little fake dance move I don't know it's so much fun don't group to group and smile on slapping hands and kissing people's babies whether they want the baby kissed or not just going
00:54:11| groove just having fun I love it and I do that at parties like college house parties oh but you have to know like the I feel like you have to know the hosts what you have to know the sunna gay you
00:54:23| don't do that it a stranger house party you snuck in or something you must just keep the hell quiet and stay with your little group yeah and then eventually the me in the group will come around and
00:54:32| find you guys as a group like hey what's going on who do you guys know here this is why oh you have to know the other person's like their situation yeah so they're the person of the group that
00:54:43| brings you out of your group and then you're like we found each other and then you click you have to find the right people so I guess the best house party I feel like sophomore year college was
00:54:54| great because we had an apartment that was like not co-located but it was in a decent location that brought everyone together and probably like a like one of the we used to play quarters a lot or
00:55:07| like Skippy's you know Skippy's right is that the same thing you name yeah the drink yeah drinker country time in a trash can yeah he's bright and butch lots of Butch
00:55:19| and a and a beer what bearded that you know actually hose and probably khaki stone actually yes she goes to be good so like of that of that stuff probably cost boy maybe a
00:55:32| hundred bucks I doubt it I was gonna say fifty I was gonna say fifty actually just like the slow bucks for the beer trust me Keystone Light was $9.99 when I went to
00:55:42| college and there was no sales tax cuz it was in Delaware and the well the vodka probably the most expensive part but you can get the shushie's fine $20 vodka yeah but I don't think it made a
00:55:53| difference so the other behalf could be I just remember everyone just almost like a simultaneous blackout and then you just feel fun for like hours yeah I don't know this is not
00:56:08| condoning what's this the Skippy Skippy fest but it was probably one of the best nights of my life Michael I it was a your house yeah which is fraught that's illegal at the time I
00:56:20| guess I shouldn't say that so I'm definitely under a statute of limitation to make your okay yeah but those times it's just because everyone's down and no one is isolating themselves
00:56:31| and there's no Natalie yeah and no one's doing weird things no one's like I don't know if I should be here everyone goes hard everyone goes 100% everyone knows have a good time you
00:56:43| don't get that anywhere but College I think even now at the parties we go to three or four people will definitely be willing to go hard two of them will one of them is like my wife yes my kid I
00:56:54| gotta go what are you gonna tell them no no I mean you're like of course that's fine but it just the numbers are pure there's not as many people doing the all or
00:57:06| nothing anymore so we did a party where an illegal substance that you can find in balloons okay someone may or may not have entire canister of that substance and brought balloons and we want to
00:57:29| championship and in the men's league they literally the best championship in my life we wanted overtime I think yeah and connective okay jerks we partied so hard like when you do these big epic
00:57:51| parties it's a little bit like high school movies where they show all the nerds and the jocks and the cool kids and the hot girls and the nerdy guys and the awkward dudes Tom emerges together
00:58:01| it's like yeah and there's like 30 people and I be in the back stoop and I remember we were so messed up on so many things that night and I'd be on the back patio being like you know listen this
00:58:13| and it was like just some Jam I had on iphone like three people were like nod and I was like that's like life I don't know what I was thinking or saying but everyone nodded in agreement they're
00:58:24| like yeah and you have heart-to-hearts with people you don't usually have hard times with him someone's hooking up with someone who they never would have hooked up with wild stuffs happening like I
00:58:35| think at that party someone picked someone up as like a joke like a friend I when guys fight you know I mean yeah young year-olds they got that testosterone pick them up and throw them
00:58:45| in our table we're like we were playing beer pong he split that table right now shattered that table set broken in our dining room for like six months because we've refused to throw it out and it
00:58:57| wasn't fixable and just sat broken there but it was like a testament to that party a testament to so many things that happened and I was like this is wild and that's why I love parties I miss that
00:59:09| all in everyone's all in feel yeah yeah certain people will never go all in again like a lot of um housewives look they're done they don't do all in anymore so sad such a sad thing it is
00:59:24| and there comes a point where you you transition your life but you you still gonna have a few of those don't you know do you think there's a research yeah what is that thing okay so we went to a
00:59:38| crew party and we hated the crew kids but we always went to their parties because we had an in these pop these jackets were popular back in the day yeah I got back in my day expensive to
00:59:50| like over a hundred bucks we went to a party and the guys were being real dicks to everyone like you clean it up whatever and looking back maybe they weren't maybe they were telling us not
01:00:01| the drool on their house or like break things in their house but we were partying like come on man one of my groups stole this jacket saw it there in the closet just took it and we ran hmm
01:00:13| so me unlike some one person who I'm like against stealing I'm against like that's not cool to me oh no I remember being like I'm gonna hold this and go to its rightful owner well a word to class
01:00:27| every day I fell in love with I think it was awesome this called the stolen coat and we would take turns like if you're going out on a date there's a food where it would lend the
01:00:35| stolen coat to someone it up with it at the end then uh I love that coat it's awesome this one's Akira so if you're listening dude who lost it at a party it was us
01:00:44| Lilly apologize you can sue someone else because I didn't actually steal it I just held on to the stolen goods your events yeah I didn't want them to prosper from stealing so really this is
01:00:58| the only time here the only time I ever stole anything before a party was a button and I think it said something about being friendly I don't know why I grabbed it I forget what it was really
01:01:08| about but I I don't know I guess sometimes the kleptomaniac comes out in people and they're just like I was just remembering this one thing the party wasn't at your friend's take like a
01:01:19| deuce in the upper part of the toilet or anything like that I mean I don't think they got that far okay good those are different kinds of parties yeah it should show aspect to that's
01:01:36| another thing it's like for for people like you and me like there were times where I was legitimately studying and people would bust in and start having a party and I just be like fuck this
01:01:46| assignment let's go party like whenever that would happen and if it would wake me up I'd be pissed for about half a second and I'd be like this is a moment to do something great just enjoy myself
01:01:55| and I would do it so there are many people out there that probably we're thinking like if you're young and going to college and you feel like oh this is the time I need to sleep it's probably
01:02:05| not know you don't get to enjoy with like dozens of your friends something that just doesn't make any sense yeah you're right umm that's so weird and weddings try to recapture that but
01:02:17| there are so many people that have different lives and you have family and oh we're driving we're not staying over yeah make some watch god damn kid go wild because your chance to reclaim
01:02:28| youth do you know but and you also don't have though like a random hookups at the end of the night either I mean you do this I saw you do but not as much yeah the ratio is much lower than what it
01:02:40| used to be where there's even one then one month kind of makes me want to go back and be young again I wonder if there's a phase of going back and being young when you're like maybe when your
01:02:56| kids go off to college can you relive it at awarding I've seen I've seen this a lot of parents when their kids finally go away like their three kids high school college and they're like the
01:03:07| little shits finally they go away well like their neighborhood friends you'll notice they're always in the neighborhood and they're like uh everyone goes over Mikey's house and
01:03:16| it's like what and you're like yeah and if you get to see what happens they go over there and they get slammed and they can walk home like they're like they go back to partying like like College ish
01:03:28| party I don't know what goes on at all these houses with these 50 to 60 groups of adults but it's like I feel like they're reliving it like they have better social lives than people who are
01:03:42| new parents like our age group you know what I mean hmm like in the 30 just people who have kids I'm busy it does I mean not everybody does but they're a big group of them they go out there and
01:03:54| they get to whine on and they laugh and they throw big parties and crap like that who knows what happens man do you think they get sexy and like a fifty to sixty party because I had no idea I
01:04:04| guess at that point you know I got shit anything so tired of your yeah significant uh they do it's probably a lot of sexy stuff going on like a fifty and sixty party or like all the kids are
01:04:15| gone so I'm saying swapping I'm not saying it I'm just saying maybe they're swapping maybe there's just swap and spit okay move you think do you think it's still sexy for like if you're
01:04:28| looking at like a 40 50 year old you think that matters to you if you're in the same age do you think it's like equally sexy I look at it this way so when I was 20 or 18 and I looked at
01:04:39| someone 30 32 it had like a tiny bit of a beer guy I feel like that's disgusting can you imagine that it's like I'm 18 and happy and I have a high metabolism and now I'm 32 and I'm like
01:04:58| you know ii mean drinking your coffee a little it'll keep keep changing how many packets sugar in that coffee I don't know what else there is to cover I think we cover most of it I mean anyone wants
01:05:14| to talk about weddings with they've been - I went to a lot of banging our weddings like I've been to some rich people weddings kind of awesome no way overkill like one was in this crazy hall
01:05:29| up and um what's the rich area as a whale symbol New Hampshire okay how the Hamptons Martha's Vineyard my head and almost a wild wedding but like that was like you know big huge building he takes
01:05:46| like eight minutes to walk just up the steps and like marble everywhere and granite everywhere and I think I'm thinking a clÃÂÂnica anyway Mike no but I finished them awesome weddings and the
01:05:59| food was ridiculous and ultimately though it does blow it down to the people which is sort of our party talk I mean it's all about the people I'm the place they help who's getting
01:06:11| wild and I'm gonna get wild at some weddings can we even go back yeah I think you can still be a while at a wedding I feel like everybody's a six year old guys making inside jokes with a
01:06:30| I guess keep it happy a little sad yeah it's both weddings celebrations parties such a bummer say it like that it's a real downer yeah that's all we got recap do we wear the food drunk by the
01:06:56| wine talk about talk about expose it is talked about all that best man that's best women you know I had to figure out who my best men would be we're going to do a hydra of dance well
01:07:12| that's what I was gonna do I was gonna do a college and a high school band and a great school band with anything Ryan it's all bent out of shape uh-huh good girl teary-eyed pull and
01:07:22| then there's like my brother-in-law I love him who would be the best is the question really do you want to know the actual answer yeah who would get my best speech regardless only Dan Oh take that
01:07:38| myself hmm we'll see I find that special someone that makes my heart go aflutter she doesn't yell at me for being too loud right now yep we're good I do ah well folks thanks for joining in if
01:08:00| you have anything that about weddings about wedding stories about parties I mean we could do a whole episode on college parties but we didn't let go to or into it we just wanted to touch on it
01:08:10| but if you have anything to add please please please donate at least $1,000 so our patreon and put a comment down there that's cool yeah it's just for you and just one comment that's all we need a
01:08:23| little push we like you folks each and every one yeah we like you oh wow
00:00:27| dissecting one topic at a time people technology media we've got it all covered each discussion here is a deep dive in or unique perspective taboo forbidden subjects they're all on the
00:00:40| chopping block babies we don't pander to popular opinion with Mike you can get a little bit dirty morning this podcast may contain mature language and sexual content and is for
00:00:51| entertainment purposes only so join us have a good time open up your earholes fondle your follicles [Music] but they're live oaks
00:01:17| we're live yeah I don't really mean that some weddings are beautiful majestic unbelievably expensive and I don't know why they are expensive so we're gonna talk about I guess parties in general
00:01:30| and you know about weddings first because most II like doesn't gonna have that much to talk about with weddings right maybe okay cuz you're so well not Wed correct but I've been to over 15
00:01:45| weddings that's quite good mostly women's side female side it's probably almost split at this point I think I've been to like I went to roughly ten with my ex I've been know
00:01:57| few cousins a few other relatives an aunt yeah I've been to probably actually closer to 20 20 plus I think I love weddings I think I've been most to maybe like ten mostly yours yeah that counts
00:02:13| as one and you were there for my side luckily I was I'd be really confused to share there for her my maid of honor Nick speak now or forever hold your peace
00:02:24| I'm saying something everyone turns I love Dan get him out of here remove this man I don't know then yeah so weddings are uh it's like the big thing right it's like the old party or something
00:02:42| something like that I guess dot point I'm gonna hark on continuously is that they I don't understand why people spend so much money doing it or why things cost as much as they do and then like
00:02:55| that show of love it's like I get it you're supposed to like prove that your intentions for each other accurate and no one else can Wed your wife or your man or whoever you're you're trying to
00:03:09| keep away from other people yeah be like I I'm looking at you bill you're not you're not gonna get it this one so we're gonna profess our love in public and then they do like a ceremony
00:03:19| thing where you know they do the I Do's and they light a flame together they or at least butterflies or moths or guys yeah they're mine uh if you didn't do I love the the Virgin Mary one the in
00:03:35| supremely Catholic I want to say weddings oh we're going to sit there for a full hour yeah yeah she the bride has to slowly walk over to the Mary statue wherever it is and then kneel at it and
00:03:47| pray for a while like in silence awkward silence pray it's like a long silent act anyway I've only been to a few that had that but that's a goodie that's a keeper come on I've heard that there's Tom yeah
00:04:00| my roommate is like 90 years I think Debbie did it or a loser did you ask her what she prayed for like a long and happy marriage come on Mary come on Mary no I was busy getting
00:04:12| smashed on that bus and that's the other thing I've been in a lot of weddings Christ so in eight or nine or so so there's a division there the so the wedding I was recently I was beautiful
00:04:24| no no I'm gonna criticize that but the one weird thing is that when you're in the wedding and they put people on a pedestal you're like on a stage essentially with all the bridesmaid
00:04:35| groomsman bridegroom it's weird because there's a weird divide and you like crossing that line this seems weird like at the end sure it's fine but in the beginning people are off taking photos
00:04:47| capturing the moment and there's like a full like two hours where you're waiting to like maybe talk to somebody who's on that stage yeah right or yeah you I think a cool thing about that is that um
00:04:59| it lets the wedding party be with the wedding party because throughout most of the other events everything's flying by so fast and there's 900 million people that want to take pictures and things
00:05:11| can you help with hey can you do this you're supposed to meet over here his mother's or if she's really old can you help her then like 9 million people want to shake the fried and or nine the groom
00:05:20| yep and and someone wants to kiss the bride and I think it's cool that you're going to have a wedding party yeah I think they're just it's the friends or the brothers or the the real close group
00:05:32| for a little bit so was it weird but I don't know against it is it a true myth that they like the groomsmen are there make sure that the groom doesn't run away I thought that's what started as
00:05:43| because then that's why it was other like it's her brother it's her father it's her you know I mean like it was not necessarily all your best friends and in most cases they're paying a dowry right
00:05:56| the woman would pay a dowry so that the man would take the wrong woman yeah and goes the woman's father because she's like get rid of this sound whatever that's where I'm paying for the
00:06:07| wedding game from I think so yeah right it's almost like the dowry again check that out yeah luckily I don't have a daughter I don't have to do it yet there was a
00:06:21| weird split there was like a like how much does the groom's family pay for and how much does the bride's family pay for is the bride and groom's family under the bride and groom themselves pay for
00:06:39| it and then four percent was the groom's family died memorize that that's sick and I somewhere along that stat which doesn't add up but I think it's a like I saw like 11 percent who's like the
00:06:50| groom's family would pay 100 Artie gotta wonder if I'm one of the ones that they didn't list was like bride and groom helped by bride's parents helped by grooms for Indiana good split them yeah
00:07:00| yeah so I guess I'm talking about my own wedding cuz I got mine to your individual wedding anywhere you wanna go it was awesome right you loved it I did we certainly did great he had a great
00:07:14| speech at it yeah so this man who gave the speech as this man I've given a couple speeches to I'm like a speech I like just I'm getting good at it I'm waiting for my turn here no one wants to
00:07:25| give a speech fuck this shit believes in marriage anyway like just kidding ah wait so wait who were your who were you grouped I know I was there how do you think I remember let me see
00:07:42| we got you were the year with you [Music] Mitch Sam and then oh there's someone else maybe I'm wrong home sorry I said when you've been to so
00:07:56| many someone watching you leave it damn you did it's it's weird cuz you like for me I traveled away from all my friends and then like I had work friends but the work friends like you know they're just
00:08:12| work people like II kind of yeah periphery friends and then like inviting them back to travel someplace that I I was from and getting everyone that you're originally friends with but you
00:08:25| don't really talk to anymore versus the people that are actually your friends versus the people that your work friends they're like you know it's a weird for that weird mix of people and then the
00:08:36| weight of people wanting things like your parents like they want their friends there but like I've never met this one friend that you talk about like it's like you're never in shred through
00:08:47| thick and thin now I don't care yeah so you get some weird bat like battling between the moms and then how much each person gets and the relates the stupid stuff that people care about
00:09:01| whether your name is etched on something or if you use real silverware which is like a big thing like my parents like or they're like really good agitated by me giving plastic silverware to people I
00:09:16| didn't even remember Wow plastic no I'm not that I didn't remember because it was okay it's not okay that you you gave us the plastic shell off really that's low
00:09:28| I'm with them in fact looking back I I enjoyed it less now yeah yours was at an old whinnery right yeah yeah old winery in a barn uh rather run bouth lambrusco did you just
00:09:46| like hmm like what I'm bringing it back yeah a little bit maybe not on purpose maybe because it was there I don't know of all the things that you set up for your wedding whole little shit doesn't
00:09:59| matter it really doesn't like what's not the only thing that would matter is good music and alcohol if you won and who comes yeah but that one seems obvious yes Ben I mean
00:10:09| literally who comes like if you didn't invite your friend that would be really weird yeah I don't know like if like there's like royal weddings where they're trying
00:10:16| to like marry like marry two states together yeah that would Jesus strange like I guess the woman has no say in that anyway right
00:10:24| neither's the guy sort of thank you I got one yeah didn't mean it's like your son and your daughter and you married him up um someone at my work uh a lot of uh my co-workers from Greece mm-hmm
00:10:39| she's like always hitting on me and extra-friendly and she's in my age range so I'm always like I I'm watching you you know I mean but she's like she's not from America so I think some of her
00:10:49| things come across too friendly not friendly you know it's like I'm like I'm watching yeah it's a spattering at when she's married oh that's nice and I was like okay that's fine I'm not
00:11:00| you know but I didn't not seem that way and it turns out he's over in Greece he's coming over I'm like I could never could you do that so you could so I don't know what your beloved Israel is
00:11:15| that far away yeah could you yeah we could months at a time could you turn a penpal into a long-distance relationship turn into getting married right can you get
00:11:25| married long-distance is that allowed I think he still had the paperwork and sign it and then mail it off I'm not sure yeah I think you have to be in each other's presence to be married that's
00:11:37| all witnessing right yeah I mean that's exactly what we had to do and people be married over the internet though like like a live web streaming service oh oh I imagine you could probably get married
00:11:48| over a streaming web service by some kind of minister I mean I'm envisioning like if an astronauts on the space station and it's about to crash that's like but I wanted to get married to my
00:11:59| betrothed and they just like webcam him and he gets the party with some astronauts but before dies yep that's got to be legal I would think but nothing to keep in mind is there are 2.5
00:12:14| million weddings a year in the United States alone okay one percent population getting married a little less yeah I guess so but you can only get married well you
00:12:24| don't have to get married just once but oftentimes it's once do you have a success rate of marriage I thought it's like 50 percent get divorced is it 50 it's a high number and then there's like
00:12:34| starter marriages to like the people who just like get married when they're like in two years in I'd yeah next day annulment not gonna work the one I'm with she was married at a very young age
00:12:49| mmm her family paid for you know a lot of it it was all big to do friends everybody came out and a great time I think they did it in Vegas the thing is now if she were to do it again and get
00:13:01| married nobody's paying shit yeah you know I mean it's like yeah did she give the gifts back II they were it was years years later okay it was long enough to
00:13:13| keep the kids it's long enough for you can keep against calculate I am I know a couple people that were fiance and broke it off I've never heard of a wedding day break off but uh like I want to say like
00:13:26| two months out from their wedding I know someone they broke it off they have a kid together and uh soonly there after she was a month or two later she was dating the
00:13:39| guy let's say end nothing that's a quick turnaround I guess if you're faced with the direct comparison of someone who's better than who you have what are you doing let's say I don't know about that
00:13:51| it could be but I do want to say that um they got married huh and that was last wedding oh no I was at one in Nashville but before that I was at their wedding it was awesome so did that person get
00:14:04| the ring back from the cheater and then try to sell it or reuse it there was something about money and who owed who you see that's awkward especially since most of the bride's family pays for it
00:14:19| they're gonna be pissed the most yeah oh good well think it but she was the one who kind of broke it off so could she mm-hmm here's a girl yeah but are you gonna get
00:14:28| the true story out of the out of either party how do you tell she trust he did it to me yeah well here's the crazy part about this whole thing when you marry you you
00:14:39| tie two lives together financially spiritually I guess not really emotionally physically is really definitely physically definitely and familiarly which is kind of the cool
00:14:54| part yeah yeah it's cool if you've lis other familiarly it's cool if you have other families that are decent like would you marry someone who's this shit person but they
00:15:05| have like the best family ever like I just want your family I didn't want you so I was dating someone for like multiple years I enjoyed her company we're great together a lot of fun went
00:15:17| to a lot of sporting events I loved her family like her dad was like practically my dad your mom all her friends all these weddings we went to I was loving like all her friends were
00:15:31| like my best friends but they were really hers and at one point I was like I don't really want to date you anymore but it kept going on and at some point I was just like I don't want to leave her
00:15:44| family and her friends and everyone else it was like almost like yeah there's a weird rift not like who gets which friend and it's like but there are my friend for real but was like but they're
00:15:56| a better friend to me and then I'm signing let the record show I let her keep everything and that still wasn't enough so we'll we'll leave it at that I don't think that you can win that
00:16:09| battle no you can't it's there were friends originally anyway like if you try and stick around or try and like be friendly with all these people still it's weird it puts stress on them so
00:16:20| what about like shitty wedding it's like you've probably gone to a wedding that just felt weird or didn't have totally kind of duds there were like real lane early ended
00:16:30| like 9 p.m. like the food was I don't really remember him that much I guess so so I don't remember them when I go to a wedding I kind of expect everyone to go all in
00:16:44| because like how often does this happen like really it's like maybe twice a year so it's exactly what I do I'm like expecting people to stay up until at least when the bar closes oh yeah dude
00:16:55| that's when wedding after parties are wild like I the merging of different weddings and they started hanging out and saying I can't it's crazy like you see someone's father he's learning a
00:17:09| suit you met him once the day before for an hour at the rehearsal dinner and you just had a couple nice things to him but then like you see him on the wedding day and everyone's getting smashed and you
00:17:18| and him are high-fiving and laughing about something you're both waiting in line for drinks now he's like your BFF he sees you across the hall he's like 60 years old he's like yo dick remember
00:17:28| blue he does the thing from like ten minutes ago it's like an inside joke we just created and I'm like so then you see him four hours later and everyone's so smashed people weren't ides around
00:17:38| their heads it's last call at the bar we're in the hotel lobby only like 14 people are left and they're all in disheveled shape and the mess everyone's like where's Marty to go you didn't make
00:17:48| it back you know people are going crazy and I see the dude I do the thing again and he's like oh he's dying laughs I got to buy me a drink the next day he's like Nick I'm like yeah like it's weird
00:18:01| because it's like you create these super best friends but it's so quick I don't really know them but they're like my besties that's how I party that's how I do weddings I go hard I dance I dance
00:18:16| with the old ladies dance with the I dance against the kids like you know you're supposed to let a kid win take a mouth five-year-old girl I'm like should I do my own butt work the cameraman
00:18:28| cameraman hates me yeah I sweat it up a little bit see now some of these weddings rely like the ones you're enjoying thoroughly they rely on people being open to doing those sort of things
00:18:38| and I've been to weddings where it's just like the people who are supposed to dance are defined by clear delineation of age and it's like the older people sometimes they don't get down oh they
00:18:48| about the UH the um hey everyone on the dance floor if you're married yeah that's what I like to see Hey keep dancing if you've been dancing she's been married for over 10 years out
00:18:58| there yeah let's hear it wow that's a girl hey you gonna give me 25 years out there that's incredible man that's true hey keep dancin if you've been dancing for 50 years and then everybody goes
00:19:13| whoa there's like two couples and then the guy has to try and guess to me how long they've been like kids have you been married for 60 we've gotta hurry this up and 75 years
00:19:30| no like calling the men off the dance floor really they just can't hear they turned off the hearing aids so that happened at the previous wedding I was at and then once they were done dancing
00:19:40| I didn't see any old people on the dance floor hmm I don't know how they got them on the dance floor to begin with cattle prods there's a fire process yeah hmm our
00:19:52| friend our mutual friend Ryan like to do chugging groove we've ever done that at a wedding No so where you put a cup in the middle like on a chair or something and
00:20:02| everyone stands in a circle and as the music's playing one person will walk up to the cup and do a dance like they think dance uh pick up and chug from it and then put
00:20:12| it back and then they do their move back out and then someone else's turn to go in and everybody eventually is chugging from one cup hold like Chuck grew so they have there was a version of this in
00:20:24| another wedding where they it's like I spin the bottle but you get picked and then you do your little dance and then you pick up a bottle and you spin it again then someone else does a little
00:20:30| thing I like the Chuck and group idea there was a moment in the wedding I was just at that I was like I need to grab a bottle because this would be a perfect time where everyone's in a circle and
00:20:40| people are all being awkward and I was like you need to spin a bottle and just get the awkward people in it but there was like plastic were where so you couldn't like that you weren't allowed
00:20:51| to have any one of those wedding yeah mmm so it's it was tough I don't know why yeah so another weird water someone would go plastic instead of silverware
00:21:02| I know why another weird part was that I guess the County were in it required that you had a police officer from that County at your wedding and he was like walking
00:21:12| around the building like poking his head in yeah and he was doing nothing he was just standing there watching I guess it's like a way to get overtime get paid better I got my first ticket for turn on
00:21:21| red red wine well I think it turn I mean it right on rail and you actually got a ticket for that yeah I probably done it close to 7000 times in my life right word says no turn on red you just look
00:21:35| left you look right and then you turn on red it's very easy oh yeah yeah those are bullshit anyway does that cost you like other bucks 140 bucks this guy and then the cop was a real dick and uh he's
00:21:50| writing me off my kids in the back and that's all the reason I got the ticket is because I kept turning around and cheering all my son telling them go ahead we're going shop and we're gonna
00:21:58| get hot dogs when I cook hot belt or something I forget blur was never went down terms that we still went good but it was just like I kept looking around back at him otherwise I spot cops
00:22:09| like okay guy mile away I gotcha pulls me over became a regular person they kick it and then the then another cop saw him so he pulled over and you know now I'm like oh god it's my info up
00:22:23| to date do I have my ID today am I gonna get shot you know cuz I like funk music I still playing it as he came a little close to the car and lowered it a little bit he's like do I smell something he's
00:22:36| like that's funk yeah that's some goddamn lowdown funk pal that's the New Mastersounds that's British funk are you okay you want to get down and uh he didn't say anything
00:22:48| he's giving me the ticket I know he's gonna write it up anyway because he just looks like a dick and the other guy came up and he's all tatted up and he's kind of cool and he's like shirts undone and
00:22:56| the other cop and he came over he's talking to my son he's like hey you alright little buddy you want to take a picture at the cop car he's be all nice he's being like the coolest dude and I
00:23:05| was like ah thanks man he was scared for a little bit thank you thank you the guy was like this cool cool as he said are you cool he bothered you and honey who some of the other cop
00:23:16| he said like his he is getting you like what's he doing to you and I was like now I've been oh cool and then he went when we walked away and it turns out I had the chief of the
00:23:26| police for the AH and the chief can't let you go because that's a bad precedent I had just gotten pulled over by the cool dude with the tattoos I wouldn't be saying here
00:23:37| hey chief I had sex with your wife but you're watching this enjoy anyway I probably got a hundred forty bucks we'll say you hold that on your chest for a little while yeah it felt good to get it
00:23:48| off my good Heath chief chief pal he watches now anyway sorry to derail from wedding yeah I would a copy at a wedding cops ruin everything I was assuming that unless it was the tattooed cop I think I
00:24:01| was cool now no I'm assuming that they're like watching for drunk drivers or maybe he's like seeing who drinks too much and then they're just like on their ass making sure that they they don't
00:24:10| like give out too many drinks like that seems ridiculous though in a wedding it's stupid what do you supposed to go I've seen so many people get so blasted at weddings and that's the fun part
00:24:20| you're like you remember that time you just passed out on the floor and everyone was dancing around you it's like we had to drag you out the floor and they're like I don't remember any of
00:24:31| real that kind of now that didn't happen did it yeah it did no certainly do we have pictures a cool thing is also the average cost of the wedding did we go
00:24:45| over it oh well 30k no I tell ya 30 to $35,000 in the United States at least in yeah and there's a breakdown here ah a man got the numbers I um I haven't looked at it since I just haven't looked
00:25:04| at it I can glanced at it so why don't you pull it up and give me a little bit of a taste these vary greatly depending on what you do where you are this is just general work yeah so the venue I
00:25:16| think for mine it was like 6 K or something but the average is like 13 so you keep doubt check mark cheap mm-hmm was value driven yes yes indeed value driven
00:25:28| so that I mean that sort of makes sense because the people that are getting drunk there needs to be like an alcohol license and the liabilities on them so if the more people that are getting
00:25:38| drunk the more liability so spending the most time their true I mean it's literally a time you're paying paying for the time you have in a place is like a banquet hall easily mm-hmm I may
00:25:49| include the engagement ring in this most people are spending six K almost on an engagement ring really below that honestly though for a woman's wedding ring was have enough
00:26:06| diamond on it can it just be like a man's is that weird would that be weird if you're like let's wear the same ring honey and I mean truly love each other yeah yeah here's Cracker Jacks yeah I
00:26:21| found this one at the Bob ring pop but could you do like if you were to propose you'd have to probably put like a multiplier and whatever you like this can't cost that I don't even remember
00:26:32| what the how much this rose I have bought spares just in case so it's like it's six K for a diamond ring um somewhere in that range yeah it's ridiculous I don't know why you need to
00:26:49| profess your love like that and then like why this week we talked about this on our previous episodes because it's ridiculous and there's no other reason for it and then to profess your love
00:27:00| like there's no practical reason someone would have that it's a standing stone yeah and the status alone is like saying hey I love you so much I'm willing to do a stupid status thing for you but isn't
00:27:10| that like the wedding overall though I mean if you're gonna do some gigantic bash you're trying to show everyone that like you're bash is the best which is sad to begin with because the best bash
00:27:21| has happened in college when you have no money we're gonna touch all nighter coming up to we're coming up to so the band what's next the ban 3,500 for DJ no I don't think they're paying a DJ that
00:27:35| much gjz like a 1500 so I have no idea and I think a regular band probably has like well at 4 to 5 members maybe right it depends on the band and wedding bands always have the horn section you
00:27:45| got to have like James Brown songs and stuff yeah weird you have I had like a shout out to Philly horn band I think there was like ten members mm-hmm they were good they were they were getting
00:27:58| the crowd going so that was the one of the keys is that they're pulling people are easy I've been to two other weddings with them oh yeah if they're that solid yeah they're good and that's why once
00:28:09| you said their name of like uh yeah Danis right yeah they're yeah it's it's worth it to get a live band cuz there's so many people that probably if it was a DJ they just be like oh it's a song but
00:28:22| a live band the guys like screaming in your face and be like oh and then like they're belting out like Whitney Houston songs this is like it depends on the bands that that band has such range
00:28:31| because it's like a black and white thing it's got horns it's got other horns it's got like three guitarists a woman singer a man singer so like yeah hovered like you got everything yeah
00:28:42| that's good Odo's photos like 2 point 4 K a lot of people ask for like 3 K but it's just like what you spend a day taking pictures and then like the only real thing that you're giving people is
00:28:56| like I'm a book shit photo fotox yeah yeah please do I don't understand why it would take 3 K to do that and some people have a photographer and a videographer and the videographer is
00:29:12| like the same amount of money it's like you're paying like 5k for like those combination of people those clowns say clowns I can't believe Italy it's not even like
00:29:22| special acquit you're trying to figure out how much it was you're looking at photos ready you know she so I'm gonna go ceremony site so sometimes a different spot we did do that wedding
00:29:37| dress people spend like 1,200 bucks on a wedding dress again most of this is female centered so it's makes sense that the bride's father would pay for whatever the bride wanted because
00:29:49| they're the ones that are spending the most blank they're choosing to spend on my 20 damn I was gonna shit talk so Mike mr. paid for a photographer and what did you say the number was I think it was
00:30:00| close to that number yeah 2,400 yeah it was probably like 2 grand mmm they never gave him pictures what yeah they went they had to go to like the news like you know you report bad business he moved to
00:30:13| Canada because like you know he's a claimed company like 3 cm or some factor with the name of the company I would shit told him and other people claimed he did the same thing in like that
00:30:25| timeframe so my sister never got pictures from her wedding like from a professional photographer and then we got a running back so I they tried to seal them and all that but he moved into
00:30:35| Canada with like his mom or some kind of sign like his mom was sick and he can't pay you know work on it and stop leaving stop the hatching him you're bothering me they're like you know those files are
00:30:48| all digital and you just like send him an email you're like pink here's your repair damages unless he really didn't do it or he just took the money or who knows I'd
00:30:56| know yet he's faking taking photos the entire night we see no no not going done another crazy thing about weddings it's fifty three point four billion dollar a year industry yeah cuz if you tell
00:31:24| somebody it's for a wedding it doubles in price for some reason your food your cake yeah yeah flowers like all that hey cutter how to cost money doesn't it like ridiculously expensive car forty bucks
00:31:37| yeah it's a little triangle thing it's like 30 or 40 bucks someone didn't say it it comes a cake that costs like 20 bucks extra it's cake cutting time and then it's
00:31:46| like putting me is that a chitchat a real thing no but if you have a DJ or my head they're probably like the fees said I would have Michael buffer say ladies and gentlemen let's get ready to cut
00:31:58| cake it would be pretty awesome one yeah he just comes in for that one moment yeah that's like a grand I got you everyone pay attention they can't cut though yeah they would do
00:32:11| you know what the average age for people to get married is I heard it for females is 29 from males of 31 yeah my man I'm already past my prime I'm out I'm not going it
00:32:23| you're gonna bring up the average how old was I was 30 I think 30 probably no its 30th ugly she she's still 16 or achieve yeah she graduated grade school high school no that's not true
00:32:38| yeah Ridgeway she's a little under 40 people she's older than me old-timey hmm a lot of people are paying per seat like um food caterers caterers mine costs for somewhere in that range well I'm
00:32:59| surprised it doesn't have food on here for some reason maybe that's part of the Denny's ID maybe okay Bend you probably but that I mean what do you what do you give as a gift when you go to weddings -
00:33:11| no shit how much hundred bucks you don't do 158 oh my god mica my man living here in the past where it won't 50 now oh you're up to 150 that's the thing Oh a new thing
00:33:23| when we started going away he's it's like a hundred a plate now it's 150 you gotta come with the get with the times man come on pop I feel bad now yg did you just drop a 102 you I'm sorry I
00:33:42| didn't a direct friend of mine like a real friend or like a friend and say somewhere in the probably real friend I'll say real friend are you worried he's watching so he's
00:33:51| not a friend no I'm not worried about what I do things at night now I know because it was a woman I know I know see I'm sexist I didn't think women could be friends you've got me there
00:34:04| well that's that's the that's the barrier there is that you a man trying to be a friend of a woman is gonna have a difficult time because it gets a like an awkward just I have a story about
00:34:15| this okay so please there are maybe two or three women at my work that are married that I'm friendly towards and I can't specifically ask them to do anything like with me like I can't just
00:34:28| be like good luck you can't be let's hang out yo little dog let's play some Xbox come on yeah I did if you could would that be weird or even like I live in an engineering world where it's like
00:34:40| there people are building things so like I can't even like ask them to be like can I go see what you're building like give me a tour of your lab when you can I mean I would think you can but you're
00:34:51| northern I think the southern women are a little bit more uptight about absolutely right you could be right about that it's to consider that it's surprising me
00:34:59| so if you're a married woman in the south it seems like you can't really have another male friend without like swimming eyebrows being raised this makes sense say like the Greeks that my
00:35:11| job wouldn't do too well in the south they get a little flirtatious a coffee machine is that a common point of interest she she wanders over and tries to make you a cup oh my god no she's
00:35:24| like old school grieving well I guess Greek is old school she's French dressing that you'd be drinking I tried to drink coffee and she's like no it has been on there for
00:35:32| over an hour we are making new new pot and I'm like it's fine it's just coffee and she's like no and she grabbed it it's ruined the sink and threw it out and I was like I was gonna drink it and
00:35:44| she's like we will make a new pot you have to do pot and I'm like okay but then like with them like any of the Greek people at the job night are like her some of the guys some of the other
00:35:57| girls like when we're talking they like they understand everything I'm saying but then like I don't know where the conversation ends they're like you should date going good or bad and I'm
00:36:06| like it's good and they're like the awkward yeah that keeps staring eye contact I'm gonna go do some paperwork but I love them the cool I just I don't I'm figuring it out still hmm
00:36:21| but that's maybe it's a great thing OPA oh he oh he oh he Malacca hope is like cheer right when you drink I actually don't know I know oh he is no oppa's probably to cheer
00:36:36| ah Cali meda I think that's good morning and then this one's jerk-off Muraki oh fuck yeah I learned the bed words I forget what um fuck is they they told me I was using it for a while no care to
00:36:53| written down in a notepad now I try and memorize it doesn't work too well here uh to wrap up weddings because we move on I want to say that um ten couples that died on their wedding day was a
00:37:05| really popular BuzzFeed article uh-huh the coolest one was death by speedboat they were like cruising on their loss pontoon or spit or something and an out-of-control speedboat went out of the
00:37:18| way just pull out through the newly married couple yeah yeah recently in fact on the news this had nothing to do with our episode a couple died in a helicopter thing because they wanted to
00:37:30| be taken away from their venue via helicopter right into power lines or something I think it crashed that's a name and kind of Rodolfo's killed a couple how crazy is that on our wedding
00:37:43| night we'll think about it that's when she's the most enraged right if she I'm pretty sure was a woman I'm not I can't remember the whole article now she followed him around and waited to the
00:37:53| wedding night and kill them both in color I think she killed herself wow that's intense fear glass guy fell off the pier and there's a beer glass and his jacket or his trousers and uh glance
00:38:06| like preferred his femural artery and he bled out and then like she like I somehow she died that I didn't read no article very well she wanted to save him by jumping off and then blame it on the
00:38:18| same beer glass a lot of people get hit by cars there was a couple doing a photo shoot and uh I don't think they both died well I hope it was like near lava like there's just nail uh-huh they were
00:38:32| on like a pier and the pier collapsed one of them died or something that is pretty sad Robert II said is actually sad another thing that happens is do you
00:38:45| know what ring abortion is no there's a hundred and fifty thousand cases a year in the United States is that where you're like Han swells up and then your ring gets stuck and then you have to
00:38:57| lose a finger it'd be it could be anything could be that the ring gets stuck it could be that there's a sudden jerking motion could be an assistant Jimmy Fallon think Jimmy yeah yeah could
00:39:08| I so being married is actually dangerous it's not good for you it's unhealthy it's fun you think it really works out for a man to be married yeah for anyone I mean you're pledging your life to
00:39:25| someone at 20 you live to be 80 so at one-fourth your life you're pledging the next three parts of your life right yeah essentially there is a point though that like if you're in the realm where
00:39:38| married people stick with married people and they can't really have friends outside of their married couple then it's like it gets weird because everyone has their own little island so if you're
00:39:49| not pledging yourself to somebody eventually all the other people have their own Island and then who you're left with is a nice pool of rejects I assume or people who didn't get married
00:39:59| I mean yeah I'm not gonna move all the rejects out like now you're right I mean what does that leave behind you're not married by the graph I saw had like thirty five as like the 80% of your age
00:40:16| group by 35 is married what's sad I was reading something about tinder like people are getting on tinder after being married for six years another 28 and they get out and it's like surprising
00:40:29| how many people are coming out of marriages at that point of time but it makes sense for women men are not really during my time line of trying to procreate so women are stuck to like pre
00:40:41| reading there was a study of like old wives and French labor camps or so for the Puckett's broads bras yeah to be official about it
00:40:54| lizard-like after 35 year your ability to carry a child is really reduced so if you're a woman you gotta hurry up but if you're a man you could be like that Indian guy who procreated like 90 so you
00:41:11| don't have to rush hmm that might be I'm not gonna say I gonna say how about gay marriage no you're on the side now that I'm on the subject what doesn't my 26 2015 over obergefell
00:41:28| versus Hajus Oh birch full versus high just great court case had all to do with the 14th amendment I believe it was on equal opportunity for all people of some sort hmm okay that by allowing
00:41:40| heterosexual couples only to marry they were a word of the gifts of like you know you get tax benefits you know tax benefits all that and you can't do that because you're excluding a group of
00:41:55| people for their beliefs or their desires or whatever mm-hmm so they did a survey in 2007 of the u.s. general population populace since 1997 that the four percent of people opposed
00:42:09| gay marriage 37 supported it I don't know the numbers in between so don't tell me they don't add up by 2016 or so I think is 117 32% opposed the idea of gay marriage and 67 supported it's
00:42:27| literally a flip hmm which I say go for it it's weird so where do the people become more tolerant open what was the time difference 2007 to about a year ago that
00:42:40| is kind of bizarre but I guess with the media though very yeah it's media driven plus there's a awakening the tapping was there is now cross the church it's a real yeah well the church is now in its
00:42:57| downfall I think but there's also a realization that people are people you know not not you can't like hide in your own little Enclave and then decide that I guess you can so
00:43:08| people can decide that a certain person is your enemy but now you can read as much as you want about a certain group of people or meet people or make friends with them and then it's like oh I didn't
00:43:17| realize that you were the thing I thought I hated and then that wall comes down and people hope them open themselves up when I start meeting what more people avoiding being shot um
00:43:28| actually up until that 2015 ruling in the Supreme Court 14 states disallowed gay marriage and my whole thing with it is like why do you disallow it like this go for who cares we're a worry like
00:43:44| talking about weddings or no no like weddings are they're fun to be at but what do they mean in long run I don't know that they're monumentally powerful so if that's the truth why would even
00:43:58| care if two men or two women want to get married like should go for Jesus Christ guys want a wedding they're awful they're expensive yeah I feel like um this like affects
00:44:09| like health insurance too like domestic partnerships like I feel like they were a new thing like within like the past ten years so all of a sudden were allowed to give our health insurance to
00:44:18| other people really that's crucial so he could have a malady that sets you back an entire life's worth of earnings and you can't come back from that why would you prevent people from being able to
00:44:31| cover themselves in a situation like that most people have like a cancer or something that really debilitating wiped out roughly 15 years of their savings within a year or two
00:44:43| it's crazy spread this yesterday yeah but that's because health care so good in this country and ironically I'm eligible for health care at my new job today hey you're gonna know if it's free
00:45:00| I just gonna do it whatever don't don't let don't ya don't you think about just sign a check mark so we're talking about gay wedding freak weddings all sorts of weddings folks so do you think they
00:45:16| should cost that much as to I'm no of course not how much would you spend and what would you do like gift out Milan and I would do dubs everywhere I want to just have dubs I want to have
00:45:30| a wedding I want doves to carry us into the sky and we have a wedding in the sky I don't care how many John woos wedding would be a dope-ass oh no you know what
00:45:50| the other reason um I won't get married for on the cheap or like as a side is because I think I want the party you enjoy the party I love it and can you imagine if I had a wedding I was like
00:46:02| yeah we went to the court we paid a couple of thousand bucks and we had like three people show up and then we we left we had to go to work that day that's the opposite of me I want to be a
00:46:14| distributes like I want to the whole it's the last chance of him what are the next parties that you're gonna go to if you were really in the scheme of things is maybe you have a kids party you can't
00:46:26| you can't party because it's your birthday anymore I mean that you can but you're getting older and they're to push it you can't force people to go to that you can force people to go to your
00:46:37| wedding some people are socially afraid of like the whole I have to see so many people and another thing you didn't bring up but I know as a fact is the wedding
00:46:46| thing goes by so fast because so much is going on so let's recap a conversation it's oh my god I can't believe I just was talking to so many people and you know I have so little time and I just I
00:46:56| gotta go you see by this it's like I didn't you look great congratulations catch you later I wanted to talk about death damn the movie with Antonius block Antonius block no idea
00:47:12| what that is oh I know I know yeah I know show them out like I don't know anyway maybe does every seal yes that's what it was god she's walking away you're like I want to
00:47:25| talk about death as a real human character in the seventh seal and she's keeps walking you're like nevermind so I name is Antonius block if your wedding lasts what 7 hours is that
00:47:37| a normal normal time long well okay sure except we'll say 7 so that's you doing all that if there are no photos which is ridiculous say you have 7 hours of our guests then you have a hundred and 140
00:47:52| with the average so I'll use 140 because that's even more ridiculous and seven hours after generating in 2016 you literally have three minutes to talk to each each I guess if you're talking to a
00:48:05| couple you could probably have six minutes yeah okay sure but even then that's yeah you're not really you're not eating you're not dancing you're not taking photos it's probably
00:48:15| half that it's probably have three minutes with somebody to talk to somebody while that is crazy and technically you probably do it in a smaller window like more like an hour
00:48:23| and a half window yes so you probably only have me reducing probably two minutes to talk to people and that's no there's no transitory ously more time with certain people right your friends
00:48:36| your BM yes your so yeah I mean it's almost like I was touching on this one I went to the wedding and like the bridesmaids were isolated and like I knew one of them so I was saying hi but
00:48:49| it's like it's a weird feeling because they were literally like between the dance floor and all the tables and that was like a nice 50-foot gap so it's like I wanted to say hi but it's like I only
00:49:00| have so little time and then there's so much time I can't walk those those feet this is precious seconds before there's an event but it just seems like your parents are always in your ear someone
00:49:11| here is in your ear that the wedding planners holiday photo August person your BFF shows up yeah he's out of town like you want him to high-five and be like yo mother F we're really good so uh
00:49:22| but really then then your around you turn around you're like mom I know everything's going wonderfully I'll look into the silverware actually okay someone gave us a store where I ordered
00:49:31| the real time alone the wife is wondering if this looks okay someone's broke someone had car troubles one relative always gets car troubles so it's like oh
00:49:41| my god uncle Marty still at the store he is car broke down someone send and get him picked up and then someone's like by the way two flowers with wrong color and you're like
00:49:49| oh my god what there were the wrong what and they're like well they still came they were just a different color I didn't even notice well good sir here you go oh by the way
00:49:57| we increase the price you know this and then your father's over here and then the father-in-law's over here and then telling over there says hey you still owe me a dance for my school sweetie but
00:50:06| it's really your friend it's probably me I say yes and just like lose everything going on at once and it's like it's just wild and that's why the speech is the most important
00:50:17| thing it's what everyone shuts up and listens to me yeah do you ever you ever feel like the bride's the maid of honor does it better than the groom's own never it's all we ever seen it yeah
00:50:28| actually that's a lie I've had like three groomsmen who were only groomsmen because they were brothers and therefore it wasn't a friend groomsmen like it's a brother he was like sometimes people say
00:50:42| we fight but I love my brother Joey one time when I was seven remember Jimmy I won I love you guys congratulations everybody drink and it feels like what a chance yeah
00:51:03| at that point I almost wanted to like I'm going to do speeches at weddings for people who have shitty speakers I want to be like listen I don't know you can make a few things up maybe put this in
00:51:15| here oh this is gonna be good like a Kevin Hart movie where he's like yeah he's the best oh yeah yeah I can do that it's like that's probably where I could do for a living yes uh-huh
00:51:25| I couldn't lie to people to that extent so I guess I couldn't do it but I love going to weddings I love uh bringing the cheer the dancefloor breaking the ice there should
00:51:39| be a team of people that you know it's maybe like three or four people that come to a wedding and you just you paid them to be there to make it more lively for other people use it
00:51:49| there she be it for out of that 30k budget there should be a gesture budget the gesture should be paid a hundred bucks apiece just to enjoy their time make other people enjoy it to that what
00:51:59| a gesture was really do you think we think we've been like misplaced it so far that we've made it look like a clown but really it was just a hilarious guy it was just who grew up in Northeast
00:52:09| Philly I don't know born and raised and we're talking a lot about weddings we're about most enjoyment at a party well you can out with a girl 100% love getting sexual on ladies at a party especially a
00:52:32| house party oh god I don't think that I ever had well that's not right well like ultimate relations and I never Leyland going although ever two ladies at the same
00:52:43| party okay I'm waiting for you answer whether that was it not gonna respond to that but I will say I love parties the same reason I love weddings
00:52:59| is like there's like groups of people like naturally what happens at any party whether it's a wedding or not is that people break off into these groups where it's like the best friends from college
00:53:08| over here yeah Antony uncle me and my uncle in the end the uncle on the one side of family over here like grandma with her daughter and the one girl who has a lazy eye or
00:53:19| something like they're always together you see them everywhere like there's it's groups they naturally happen it's like planets in this mountain space like just collection as mass swirls and all
00:53:28| these things happen they creat being critique Friesian discs yeah I move anyway my thing is I love to get into each orbit and just tell a joke like get a smile I love going group to group I
00:53:43| can be a little different in every group like if it's your ladies I'm not saying fuck's up bitches might actually work Benelli I'm like yo what's up ladies everybody warned dance
00:53:58| and I do like a little fake dance move I don't know it's so much fun don't group to group and smile on slapping hands and kissing people's babies whether they want the baby kissed or not just going
00:54:11| groove just having fun I love it and I do that at parties like college house parties oh but you have to know like the I feel like you have to know the hosts what you have to know the sunna gay you
00:54:23| don't do that it a stranger house party you snuck in or something you must just keep the hell quiet and stay with your little group yeah and then eventually the me in the group will come around and
00:54:32| find you guys as a group like hey what's going on who do you guys know here this is why oh you have to know the other person's like their situation yeah so they're the person of the group that
00:54:43| brings you out of your group and then you're like we found each other and then you click you have to find the right people so I guess the best house party I feel like sophomore year college was
00:54:54| great because we had an apartment that was like not co-located but it was in a decent location that brought everyone together and probably like a like one of the we used to play quarters a lot or
00:55:07| like Skippy's you know Skippy's right is that the same thing you name yeah the drink yeah drinker country time in a trash can yeah he's bright and butch lots of Butch
00:55:19| and a and a beer what bearded that you know actually hose and probably khaki stone actually yes she goes to be good so like of that of that stuff probably cost boy maybe a
00:55:32| hundred bucks I doubt it I was gonna say fifty I was gonna say fifty actually just like the slow bucks for the beer trust me Keystone Light was $9.99 when I went to
00:55:42| college and there was no sales tax cuz it was in Delaware and the well the vodka probably the most expensive part but you can get the shushie's fine $20 vodka yeah but I don't think it made a
00:55:53| difference so the other behalf could be I just remember everyone just almost like a simultaneous blackout and then you just feel fun for like hours yeah I don't know this is not
00:56:08| condoning what's this the Skippy Skippy fest but it was probably one of the best nights of my life Michael I it was a your house yeah which is fraught that's illegal at the time I
00:56:20| guess I shouldn't say that so I'm definitely under a statute of limitation to make your okay yeah but those times it's just because everyone's down and no one is isolating themselves
00:56:31| and there's no Natalie yeah and no one's doing weird things no one's like I don't know if I should be here everyone goes hard everyone goes 100% everyone knows have a good time you
00:56:43| don't get that anywhere but College I think even now at the parties we go to three or four people will definitely be willing to go hard two of them will one of them is like my wife yes my kid I
00:56:54| gotta go what are you gonna tell them no no I mean you're like of course that's fine but it just the numbers are pure there's not as many people doing the all or
00:57:06| nothing anymore so we did a party where an illegal substance that you can find in balloons okay someone may or may not have entire canister of that substance and brought balloons and we want to
00:57:29| championship and in the men's league they literally the best championship in my life we wanted overtime I think yeah and connective okay jerks we partied so hard like when you do these big epic
00:57:51| parties it's a little bit like high school movies where they show all the nerds and the jocks and the cool kids and the hot girls and the nerdy guys and the awkward dudes Tom emerges together
00:58:01| it's like yeah and there's like 30 people and I be in the back stoop and I remember we were so messed up on so many things that night and I'd be on the back patio being like you know listen this
00:58:13| and it was like just some Jam I had on iphone like three people were like nod and I was like that's like life I don't know what I was thinking or saying but everyone nodded in agreement they're
00:58:24| like yeah and you have heart-to-hearts with people you don't usually have hard times with him someone's hooking up with someone who they never would have hooked up with wild stuffs happening like I
00:58:35| think at that party someone picked someone up as like a joke like a friend I when guys fight you know I mean yeah young year-olds they got that testosterone pick them up and throw them
00:58:45| in our table we're like we were playing beer pong he split that table right now shattered that table set broken in our dining room for like six months because we've refused to throw it out and it
00:58:57| wasn't fixable and just sat broken there but it was like a testament to that party a testament to so many things that happened and I was like this is wild and that's why I love parties I miss that
00:59:09| all in everyone's all in feel yeah yeah certain people will never go all in again like a lot of um housewives look they're done they don't do all in anymore so sad such a sad thing it is
00:59:24| and there comes a point where you you transition your life but you you still gonna have a few of those don't you know do you think there's a research yeah what is that thing okay so we went to a
00:59:38| crew party and we hated the crew kids but we always went to their parties because we had an in these pop these jackets were popular back in the day yeah I got back in my day expensive to
00:59:50| like over a hundred bucks we went to a party and the guys were being real dicks to everyone like you clean it up whatever and looking back maybe they weren't maybe they were telling us not
01:00:01| the drool on their house or like break things in their house but we were partying like come on man one of my groups stole this jacket saw it there in the closet just took it and we ran hmm
01:00:13| so me unlike some one person who I'm like against stealing I'm against like that's not cool to me oh no I remember being like I'm gonna hold this and go to its rightful owner well a word to class
01:00:27| every day I fell in love with I think it was awesome this called the stolen coat and we would take turns like if you're going out on a date there's a food where it would lend the
01:00:35| stolen coat to someone it up with it at the end then uh I love that coat it's awesome this one's Akira so if you're listening dude who lost it at a party it was us
01:00:44| Lilly apologize you can sue someone else because I didn't actually steal it I just held on to the stolen goods your events yeah I didn't want them to prosper from stealing so really this is
01:00:58| the only time here the only time I ever stole anything before a party was a button and I think it said something about being friendly I don't know why I grabbed it I forget what it was really
01:01:08| about but I I don't know I guess sometimes the kleptomaniac comes out in people and they're just like I was just remembering this one thing the party wasn't at your friend's take like a
01:01:19| deuce in the upper part of the toilet or anything like that I mean I don't think they got that far okay good those are different kinds of parties yeah it should show aspect to that's
01:01:36| another thing it's like for for people like you and me like there were times where I was legitimately studying and people would bust in and start having a party and I just be like fuck this
01:01:46| assignment let's go party like whenever that would happen and if it would wake me up I'd be pissed for about half a second and I'd be like this is a moment to do something great just enjoy myself
01:01:55| and I would do it so there are many people out there that probably we're thinking like if you're young and going to college and you feel like oh this is the time I need to sleep it's probably
01:02:05| not know you don't get to enjoy with like dozens of your friends something that just doesn't make any sense yeah you're right umm that's so weird and weddings try to recapture that but
01:02:17| there are so many people that have different lives and you have family and oh we're driving we're not staying over yeah make some watch god damn kid go wild because your chance to reclaim
01:02:28| youth do you know but and you also don't have though like a random hookups at the end of the night either I mean you do this I saw you do but not as much yeah the ratio is much lower than what it
01:02:40| used to be where there's even one then one month kind of makes me want to go back and be young again I wonder if there's a phase of going back and being young when you're like maybe when your
01:02:56| kids go off to college can you relive it at awarding I've seen I've seen this a lot of parents when their kids finally go away like their three kids high school college and they're like the
01:03:07| little shits finally they go away well like their neighborhood friends you'll notice they're always in the neighborhood and they're like uh everyone goes over Mikey's house and
01:03:16| it's like what and you're like yeah and if you get to see what happens they go over there and they get slammed and they can walk home like they're like they go back to partying like like College ish
01:03:28| party I don't know what goes on at all these houses with these 50 to 60 groups of adults but it's like I feel like they're reliving it like they have better social lives than people who are
01:03:42| new parents like our age group you know what I mean hmm like in the 30 just people who have kids I'm busy it does I mean not everybody does but they're a big group of them they go out there and
01:03:54| they get to whine on and they laugh and they throw big parties and crap like that who knows what happens man do you think they get sexy and like a fifty to sixty party because I had no idea I
01:04:04| guess at that point you know I got shit anything so tired of your yeah significant uh they do it's probably a lot of sexy stuff going on like a fifty and sixty party or like all the kids are
01:04:15| gone so I'm saying swapping I'm not saying it I'm just saying maybe they're swapping maybe there's just swap and spit okay move you think do you think it's still sexy for like if you're
01:04:28| looking at like a 40 50 year old you think that matters to you if you're in the same age do you think it's like equally sexy I look at it this way so when I was 20 or 18 and I looked at
01:04:39| someone 30 32 it had like a tiny bit of a beer guy I feel like that's disgusting can you imagine that it's like I'm 18 and happy and I have a high metabolism and now I'm 32 and I'm like
01:04:58| you know ii mean drinking your coffee a little it'll keep keep changing how many packets sugar in that coffee I don't know what else there is to cover I think we cover most of it I mean anyone wants
01:05:14| to talk about weddings with they've been - I went to a lot of banging our weddings like I've been to some rich people weddings kind of awesome no way overkill like one was in this crazy hall
01:05:29| up and um what's the rich area as a whale symbol New Hampshire okay how the Hamptons Martha's Vineyard my head and almost a wild wedding but like that was like you know big huge building he takes
01:05:46| like eight minutes to walk just up the steps and like marble everywhere and granite everywhere and I think I'm thinking a clÃÂÂnica anyway Mike no but I finished them awesome weddings and the
01:05:59| food was ridiculous and ultimately though it does blow it down to the people which is sort of our party talk I mean it's all about the people I'm the place they help who's getting
01:06:11| wild and I'm gonna get wild at some weddings can we even go back yeah I think you can still be a while at a wedding I feel like everybody's a six year old guys making inside jokes with a
01:06:30| I guess keep it happy a little sad yeah it's both weddings celebrations parties such a bummer say it like that it's a real downer yeah that's all we got recap do we wear the food drunk by the
01:06:56| wine talk about talk about expose it is talked about all that best man that's best women you know I had to figure out who my best men would be we're going to do a hydra of dance well
01:07:12| that's what I was gonna do I was gonna do a college and a high school band and a great school band with anything Ryan it's all bent out of shape uh-huh good girl teary-eyed pull and
01:07:22| then there's like my brother-in-law I love him who would be the best is the question really do you want to know the actual answer yeah who would get my best speech regardless only Dan Oh take that
01:07:38| myself hmm we'll see I find that special someone that makes my heart go aflutter she doesn't yell at me for being too loud right now yep we're good I do ah well folks thanks for joining in if
01:08:00| you have anything that about weddings about wedding stories about parties I mean we could do a whole episode on college parties but we didn't let go to or into it we just wanted to touch on it
01:08:10| but if you have anything to add please please please donate at least $1,000 so our patreon and put a comment down there that's cool yeah it's just for you and just one comment that's all we need a
01:08:23| little push we like you folks each and every one yeah we like you oh wow
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