Transcript UnP078 Sad Depressed Lonely Suicidal

Transcript of Episode 78 - Sad Depressed Lonely Suicidal
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Episode 78 - Sad Depressed Lonely Suicidal

00:00:00| a serious medical condition that negatively affects how you feel the way you think and how you act no I'm not talking about Taco Bell I'm talking about depression we've all had it the
00:00:19| Blues boredom that all whole awful feeling join us and try not to feel too down Thanks so I'm Dan and I'm Nick books for old friends dissecting one topic at a
00:00:36| time people technology media we've got it all covered each discussion here is a deep dive in or unique perspective taboo forbidden subjects they're all on the chopping block baby we don't pander to
00:00:50| popular opinion we might get a little bit dirty morning this podcast may contain mature language and sexual content and is for entertainment purposes only so join us have a good
00:01:02| time open up your earholes [Music] hey hey hey all one for the kipper pour one for the kipper he did pour one for the kipper pour one for me it's no
00:01:34| British song maybe yes just keep pouring them just keep pouring them anyway I'm trying to lighten the mood you know he's real dark dark episode here yeah play on there's something inside of it it's a
00:01:53| cloud I know Oh find out so let's talk about we're gonna talk about what sadness depression a little bit of anxiety drugs abuse full circle suicide so if you're if you're
00:02:13| gonna be a downer better take your uppers pull it out they used to do that that's how you would do a suicide back in the day and he looks pretty much just like pure up here's some cocaine just
00:02:26| meet something like it not only it was exactly cooking this probably just out that yeah it was probably coca-cola which had cocaine in it no I could just drink your color how about no could they
00:02:38| or like requiem for a dream where his mom's like she just got all sorts issues but she wants to lose weight to get in the red dress mm-hm I just want to wear the red dress
00:02:48| you owned up asthma you cry 8000 your numbers I gotta sell you TV just rapidly vacuuming Jeb Bush depression mmm so sorry about sadness like the function of sadness okay
00:03:07| like the Disney Pixar movies yeah inside how kind of thought that was the weirdest take on sadness I ever seen cuz like the whole first half of the movie I wrote it against her pretty bit I'm
00:03:19| sorry wasn't it what's-her-name from the office it was yeah once I don't remember a real name but yeah anyway she's always like touching the things and turning
00:03:30| everything blue all the happy memories just get coated in sadness it's like why did you need to touch that Vilasini to Phyllis yet was Phyllis spill smell sorry oops
00:03:43| did I touch that she's a perfect sadness that was good boy yeah that's really good that was good he is Amy Poehler yes as Joe Edwards the joint yeah good movie keep moving a little weird no
00:03:59| no I love that movie so the function of sadness was what to shine light on the negative parts of life and yes because I like change she almost I guess to store today they
00:04:11| were she did and she turned those like core memories that were happy sad but they didn't go away but it was like there's something to be happy and sad like you can be sad about something
00:04:21| bittersweet yeah yeah they were sued you know that song yeah there was a ripoff and that's all what okay huh I feel like people under 22 watch this won't get anything that's okay that's fuck their
00:04:39| parents bittersweet Tiffany um million did Britain people from one day to the next so life is a bittersweet ha sadness and joy it's a mixture and I guess she need one for the other right because if
00:04:55| you're sad one day you know the feeling of happiness the next day you do the you know quote you want to go away Oh what is that was it a Vanilla Sky movie yes folks I
00:05:06| didn't even set him up for this yeah you can't the sweet without the sour I think it is yeah you can't have nothing we talked about how thing is as sweet without the sour yeah yeah that's
00:05:18| something you need one to have the other yeah did your whole life was sweet stuff you wouldn't understand the Rubino contrast it would just be the same every day
00:05:28| mm-hmm have some sour you make that face that guitar face like if you're doing a guitar solo you make that face you've been or do it a stink face mmm to get your face out of that skunk's ass kind
00:05:42| of get away like real quick I could have a correction from the last episode sure so was it last episode we did death or the one before that one before that so I
00:05:54| knew we were doing it on death and I was riding my bike I did a 10-mile run outdoors I'm the man I'm the man oh man I passed by for dead things and I purposely smelled them all I didn't stop
00:06:05| biking to do it would I smell them yeah oh yeah I took a big win you couldn't even smell the squirrel no big deal who cares it smells like almost nothing I forgot
00:06:18| about the death flower it's not cool it's a corpse flower yeah I should have mentioned that I have to have an episode on corpses just just corpses animating of Dancing with them we can anyway the
00:06:34| next animal I smelled was a raccoon it smell pretty bad mmm I was biking by it depends what stage it's at if it's at like the moist stage where it's off gassing with some nice juices
00:06:45| you probably smell it pretty pretty well so over it like chemical the big big conglomerate chemical company who can't clean up their deer carcasses there was like a big old deer and it was getting
00:06:56| to the phase where it was turning black like mostly inside they were just black but it was nasty dude that smelled like bad ho ye and like farts and like some weird I don't know like gasoline type
00:07:09| smell and that almost made me sick but I breathed it in for the podcast and I never got to bring it up in the episode there you go folks I did research when it dies the worse it smells is my idea
00:07:21| mmm like a whale would smell like Oh seen those ones where they they blow up because all the gas inside and then someone pokes it with a stick and it just explodes all over them oh yeah
00:07:33| lovely there's a town dishonor to that makes all their money off of um gutting whales to make well some kind of oil but they sell it back to the whales the power all
00:07:47| their stuff that is docked me from progressing in the levels which is ironic has dead whale guts like and whales everywhere and red blood and flies everywhere
00:07:57| city and it's like good good detail good job dishonored - huh it actually looks like it smells bad i can'ts know it but if I did it would smell bad so back to the depression yeah the sweet is never a
00:08:10| sweet without the sour it isn't is that what it is that close yeah it's close but not right incorrect right let's talk about I guess low points for the beginning get out of here that's right
00:08:29| hey pop-ups Tim pop-ups hey Microsoft rough goodbye children Oh children can be diagnosed with anxiety and they say anxiety issue right now so how old do you think someone needs to be for them
00:09:01| to be diagnosed like it cuz I feel like if you get diagnosed that early you can get fixated on that drug III don't disagree do you know um kids can get diagnosed with ADHD but forearm like my
00:09:19| kid has like almost an asthma but they won't legally call it asthma because he's too young so they because they won't give him drugs he's under five so he has an
00:09:29| inhaler that like helps him with his seasonal stuff like you know when his hacking and coughing hmm it's not considered asthma until he's like seven or something because at the time these
00:09:41| kids just go out of it their lungs are too small like the patents will change cuz they're still growing on is changing the scheme right I think the same will go for like if your kid has ADHD or
00:09:50| whatever at age four or five and all that they're like he's sort of hyperactive and he might get it in two years but we're not going to diagnose because he's still changing so I I heard
00:10:01| a story about people taking kids into foster care and if a kid has a medical issue then the foster family actually gets more money so you can prove that he has something as
00:10:11| simple as ADHD and he's taking medication for it then that family can gain more money and maybe help the kid using that money maybe maybe maybe probably not if they're gonna be used to
00:10:24| system like that but probably not it makes you question like my son's jumping all over the place he's rias a nice word so it's how do you I don't know how you diagnose like a five-year-old as being
00:10:39| ADHD because I think they're all ADHD to some extent yeah it's totally a good point and they're gonna change their physiology biological their genetics or still get rearranged and all that proof
00:10:54| I guess we just but did you hear my child quote was age thirteen eighteen do you think you are by then do you think you are diagnoseable with what asthma my asthma yeah sure but sure but I was also
00:11:10| going with anxiety disorders so I have a list of anxiety disorders I'll run through real quick and I mean I've been anxious up until now good thing I didn't do the intro gets me nervous well my
00:11:34| last was a bomb pretty good so there's one called generalized anxiety disorder this is like one of the more common ones that people just have it doesn't matter how old you are or anything else three
00:11:46| point one percent of uh I think these are all United States the three point one percent of the United States it's still a lot of people yeah that's yeah right hundreds of millions right mm-hmm
00:11:57| or just Millions does ten ten nine maybe okay ten millions a lot of people thanks I got panic disorder that's where like you have these panic attacks it's like a diagnosable thing two point seven
00:12:09| percent of people it's not a big number but that's people I can understand that sure social anxiety disorder it starts at age thirteen that's roughly when it starts getting able to be
00:12:22| diagnosed it happens a lot point eight percent and very much on the rise I thought that was kind of crazy because people are no longer forced to meet their fear right because they no
00:12:32| longer have to interact with people to make them socially adept social like watch people online way you do or can you still avoid it we'll get into that's a different type of communication though
00:12:44| I mean you're not using probably the same pathways well think of this it was more of a joke ten years ago than it is now what you screw up on your facebook
00:12:55| status you're kind of it's way more serious than if I some of the things I wrote on Facebook for statuses you already mean oh if you say something that's politically incorrect and people
00:13:05| call you out were stupid or you're an idiot like or you just anything or you you post a picture of your ding-dong by accident Mickey peed his pants all my five kids knew about it now the world
00:13:18| goes yeah I don't know next is specific phobias disorder which still boggles my mind it's where you have a phobia that's so strong it affects your day-to-day life
00:13:30| mm-hmm water I can't go to work okay okay Marty you call that again I'm afraid of making money calling out every day I've been checking my bank account it's still zero thank God oh wait that
00:13:46| government check came in oh no this one starts at age seven which makes sense maybe the kid deathly afraid of cats or toasters or the refrigerator over the dark or keeps growing larger and larger
00:14:14| I'm gonna paint a guided sitting at ten point well I'm 40 bucks that was worth free money really man I didn't oh well the moment is over anyway eight point seven percent of the
00:14:27| population has a specific phobia disorder huh looking for Heights driving nipple ridges like I'm afraid of spiders like I feel like y'all have a phobia you feel like your left
00:14:38| so you're always like oh I'm afraid of you look around the room you're like you Cardon I mean I get nervous when I'm like on a tall building I would say I do I'm not a Heights pin man I'm not but we
00:14:53| did of it but I don't like them spiders crawling on me I don't like that but that's happened yeah we never had a special crawl on you like one me like what am i doing looking at my left it
00:15:10| dies like I flick my arm is going like me will you get out of my life right now I hate your guts all right next what obsessive-compulsive disorder which I thought everyone had one point zero
00:15:24| percent of the population usual onset 19 years old hmm after puberty and stuff I thought no sleaze happened like puberty like your body's changing like whatever but I did I read said about
00:15:36| perfectionists like perfectionist want to do the best job possible I have some who see a little bit I think that is the OCD of it but people think of perfectionist is like the people who are
00:15:48| excelling they're doing fantastic soar the like type-a they're they're the pinnacle mine yeah but they're exactly like if you're a perfectionist you can't start because you only want it to be
00:15:59| perfect you can't deal with the uncontrollable aspect of what doing things is the nuts the rough edges right yeah those businesses and everything all of that companies corporations they're
00:16:13| all imperfect you're right it's hard to deal with all the edges they all have loose things go on post-traumatic stress disorder boom that's it PTSD three get three point five percent of the
00:16:26| population I wonder how many are military related I didn't get an actual number but something like 77 percent men versus women a lot of these are split on close to equal or actually slightly more
00:16:40| women I found through most of these anxiety disorders I think there's a lot of pressure on them to be moms and not express themselves like a woman can unload her
00:16:51| emotional baggage she does but it's not it's different she has to be I don't know I think the roles that women often are put in tend to make them this way I feel it's just
00:17:07| like worried about cleaning worried about I don't know social anxiety they're supposed to like represent all that is good I guess like the perfection part of it allowed
00:17:19| to be dirty awful women usually aren't so yes they have there's more of an upkeep rigidness all about dieting yeah the visual the inspection yeah you're right
00:17:31| so I can understand that like there's a I hadn't had a great aunt who would come over to her house and like I only see her once every five years but the first thing she would do a pull
00:17:41| out a vacuum a sort of vacuum in the floor like she had at your house at my house yeah she couldn't resist vacuuming everything like to her nothing was perfect so she would just start cleaning
00:17:53| and be like you don't have to do that also true your health of shit'll yeah this is like generations of houses so like even like my parents house which was first I was there but she would just
00:18:08| go out I'd just be like what the hell's wrong with her is like a teenager I'd be like what the fuck like I guess just let her go let her go it's her thing she loves cleaning go away yeah she's
00:18:23| gonna move in somebody's coming major depressive disorder um this is the biggie the one that kind of goes under depression the hypothec they folks six point seven percent of the u.s. that's a
00:18:38| lot yeah at least two minutes of low mood that is present across most situations something that affects your whole life it's interesting me that I like to diagnose it though be an average
00:18:51| age of one set that's roughly what 12:30 Oh No huh well I guess we're off but it's fine well it started a year ago so right when we started the podcast last one because
00:19:13| they were gonna go back to depression processed persistent depressive disorder this is one the last like over ten years average a two-month ever this was like population that one sounds like it sucks
00:19:26| it's not like I always wonder how these people get categorized like a 30 at 30 you probably just like fuck life at that point and you're just like trying to figure out what's wrong with you because
00:19:36| yeah honestly most people probably think something's wrong with them the way we're we're sold stuff materialistic leads because we lack something right so we're always like tried that cavity do
00:19:49| you think everyone here's the thing I came across I think everyone can relate to all this stuff we were just talking about not everyone is clinically diagnosed it's not like there's a switch
00:19:59| that says you have phobias you had social anxiety you have depression and then everyone else has it's all yeah okay ever mix let's have a little bit of depression sometimes like people go
00:20:09| through it people go through anxiety issues people sometimes don't feel comfortable and crowds are talking in front of people like that's normal right so where does it become clinical you
00:20:19| know it means if they decide to actually go to somebody and say I think I have depression tell me if I do so could anyone get diagnosed with depression do you think if anyone but most people
00:20:31| probably right yeah I mean it's all about someone analyzing what you're saying and if someone wants to be diagnosed as depressed and I'm not taking this from people that taking away
00:20:40| that the actual depression or know if you wanted to be diagnosed as a depressed you probably could I could probably go to somebody and say I'm depressed and this is affecting all my
00:20:49| life when I just read a Wikipedia article that tells me exactly what to tell you and here it is I want to try some new drugs and what do you got you getting any of the drugs alright
00:21:00| actually what Zoloft is one right yeah that's one crab there's a p1 Praxis no no antidepressants so it was a ques is the one I was like yeah yeah yeah all those things ID
00:21:21| disorders if you add up all the percentages mm-hmm not quite add up to some little overlap but in the u.s. 18 percent of people have a big diagnosis like that that's 40 million people
00:21:32| that's a lot huh 33 percent are actively seeking treatment that have been diagnosed like seeking medical they're doing follow-ups they're going to therapy simply get I'm Christie percent
00:21:44| of the people involved also have a crossover with another condition on the list or depressive at least some kind of other phobia or like an abuse of drugs or alcohol or something mm-hmm yeah so
00:21:59| it seems like it's all connected and when we talk about the drug it's all about the brain and we still don't friggin know all the details yeah we've talked about the brain before
00:22:10| it's whatever reason we can't figure out inside our own brain says everyone's wired differently there's so many different connections and they just know that like certain inhibitors certain
00:22:22| connections at the brain you can disrupt and if you do it to certain people it changes the way they act so there's certain people that are definitely like schizophrenic or they're characterized
00:22:32| with some sort of disability that certain drugs do help and makes them better for society and those I understand like sometimes it's necessity and then there's cases that I find
00:22:45| strange like the percentage of number of people in the United States that take antidepressants yes 13 percent so it's like one out of every eight people is taking an antidepressant or something
00:22:58| that's weird doesn't that feels very strange because I know I must know like I must interact with at least what 50 people a day this is some of them are on it yeah and like
00:23:09| you wonder the people who are the top performers or people who are always happy or people that just you know they're talkers chatty or whatever maybe they're on something what's the one that
00:23:21| you can take on an airplane ride ambien would you not don't remember now it's I'm not a pill guy I've definitely taken one of these antidepressants or something for airplane sleep ride yeah
00:23:38| it was like a four-hour plane ride and I like I said I wish I could speak from a perspective of someone who recreationally rose a Gazzola celexa lexapro maybe was Prozac
00:23:52| you took a prozac took it yeah I think so you don't like flying you have a phobia of flying I just wanted to let's give this thing a shot yeah why not I mean if you're gonna
00:24:08| do it do it on the plane ride you're chilling you know in any way fun and I remember it wasn't like sleepy it wasn't like boring it was like nothing like things were going on around me but they
00:24:22| didn't really matter that much it was very even-keeled it's like you weren't paying attention almost yeah but it wasn't it was the opposite of being bored because boredom makes all the
00:24:32| seconds drag on like four hours went by and I like didn't even like care I was like hmm yeah it's like weird and I think I imagine that's what they do to your brain they keep you from getting
00:24:46| anxiety and worrying and and crunching over every second but it's not it didn't feel natural and I'm not saying not to take your drugs you need your drugs take your drugs but if you
00:24:57| don't need your drugs probably don't take them yeah there's a duality area right where you need to be anxious about certain things in order to spur a thought that's a positive fun right it
00:25:08| wasn't a bad experience I just it was weird I didn't particularly how much of a zoloft or a prozac abuser I guess hmm so you touched on boredom and there's one thing I liked there is no
00:25:21| universally accepted definition of boredom but whatever it is researchers argue it is simply not another name for direct depression or apathy so it's not something that's it's not a state in
00:25:33| where you're positive or negative or don't feel anything you're completely aware that you're word I think you're just in a state where you're deciding what you want to
00:25:41| do which some people interpret it as like a bad feeling but it's really not you're aware of what you're doing and wait I don't like boredom either no no but
00:25:51| you're saying I because it's not bad boredom is weird and that it's you're searching for stimulation and you need relief from not having any stimulation so you're trying to find other ways of
00:26:05| expending your energy really make sense I'll get into boredom in a second but one thing I noticed with my brain research was as serotonin was super important not only helps regulate sleep
00:26:19| appetite mood and pain mm-hmm whether you feel pain or not feel pain and apparently people with depression that's really some of their big big hitters right there they can't regulate their
00:26:31| sleep their appetite is either overboard or non-existent it can't help their mood they kind of feel not pain but they don't feel right hmm it's a weird thing so to have all that happen to you is not
00:26:44| simply being sad like we're as sad you're like they say um you can't be depressed over a bereavement during a bereavement period like someone super important passes you are not
00:26:57| experiencing depression you're experiencing sadness if it continues like we said for two weeks and then beyond yeah major depressive calm depression but it's there's a line it's
00:27:09| like I kept googling uh what causes depression how does depression start and no one gave a very good answer it was always like a lot of factors come into play
00:27:20| I actually have a list a main causes a depression yeah abuse medications conflict death or loss genetics major events personal problems serious illnesses or substance abuse it's a
00:27:34| decent list I have a list too that was on things that cause depression and it was exactly your list but for but I think it covers the same biochemistry sure your genetics
00:27:48| if you have a twin that has depression your 70% likely to get depression yourself personality and environmental factors so essentially you're just split the list into more detail wrong but yeah
00:28:01| but no one no one knows what what causes it this is general generality yeah is there a bream level there seems to be no there's no yeah and they can't take a
00:28:13| sample of your brain or like inject up pee in a cup do like an x-ray we got the person we got a depress though over here yeah I mean they've done brain scans of people and noticed that like certain
00:28:27| regions are highlighted during XY and Z but it doesn't tell you whether or not they're actually depressed just like correlates nicely right check this one they found it that women for whatever
00:28:38| reason not necessarily men the hippocampus is generally smaller than the rest of the general hippocampus size uh-huh and that women who had bouts with repeated depression their hippocampus
00:28:50| shrinks like over the course of their life it will get smaller hmm so they're saying not that having a small hippocampus means you're depressed but but these women I know again I don't
00:29:02| know why it didn't apply to men um if they had more than one depressive incident or episode like years and years depression and then they were clean and then they got on drugs they were
00:29:11| depressed for a while the hippocampus was actually smaller so that the hippocampus in the memory was something that controls the storage and retrieval of memories right it's the way of
00:29:21| facilitating I long term memory storage the brain does still need everything's as dangerous to say it was just that yeah but maybe it could be I mean if you're focused on some traumatic event
00:29:31| and that's all you can think about maybe you don't need to store that many memories because the memories you have already of that event just suggesting just suggested um the amygdala and
00:29:44| elements or big hitters on the people with depression a lot of activity there and then non activity amygdala is the emotional Center right yes these all make sense though like what
00:29:56| we're saying is we notice that your emotions are just raw your memories are bad so it's almost a backwards correlation you're depressed I ergo the brain looks like this we still
00:30:10| know what causes the brain to do this it's not just an imbalance of chemical X Y or Z because like you said every person is different they don't know and sometimes the medication works and
00:30:22| sometimes it doesn't did you come across that yes so this is my main problem with so I have a big problem with people being diagnosed with depression and giving medication so they
00:30:32| don't really know how much to give people and they don't really I mean they have a general idea that it's gonna take X number of months before it takes action but very rarely do they say we're
00:30:43| gonna let you off of it after X number of months and then you should be fine right it's an ongoing thing right yeah so I know somebody that was prescribed medication and whenever there was
00:30:55| something that negative happened and it got worse they're prescribed more medication oh they just keep upping it yeah it never went in that's weird and then coming off of it I mean your
00:31:07| brain is so fixated on what it thinks is happy moments because it's given a drug your brain doesn't know what a happy moment really is because it's just been given those like feelings so when you
00:31:18| come off of it you're really in shock because you don't I mean the world as you know it should have been it should be happy at this moment even though you haven't done anything to make it happy
00:31:29| so when you take those drugs away all of a sudden you're like you don't you're in shock you don't know what to ditch crutch theory I mean when y'all become dependent on it it's a little bit yeah
00:31:39| yeah it's weird I want to talk about maybe have you ever felt depressed or anything you think you've ever been depressed so there's I'm gonna before you get to
00:31:49| that one there's one therapy they said something about like your your deep sleep cycle your REM cycle it like somehow controls how depressed you are so for people that have been given like
00:32:01| light therapy apparently disrupts the normal cycle of sleeping and waking and that disrupts how your brain reacts and then if you if you shift like sleep shift people and then they wake up later
00:32:13| then only do somehow that corrects their depression it's a strange weird thing like you're sleeping it cause her yeah but I guess
00:32:23| too much sleep maybe causes it to be problematic so one I didn't touch one cuz it's a very small percentage seasonal affective disorder which is very debatable like ever now I agree I
00:32:35| mean I lived way up north and north in upstate New York no well upstate New York you only see Sun for like three months of the year the rest of the year it's all gray and
00:32:44| bleak and cold so I could understand if you were alone and I'll I think the speeds actually perfectly into your was I ever depressed question so if I didn't in college is where I was at upstate New
00:32:58| York if I never ever made friends and I had to live college alone I would have been depressed I know it for sure I would have been so sad because I didn't have anything to do I'd be bored I'd be
00:33:11| looking things to do and I would never get any stimulus but I had friends so I college was good what was bad was once I got the first job in Syracuse friends quote unquote
00:33:23| I did quote his vent and Syracuse when I lived alone what you you came up and visited me in that period in winter I was there for I liked ya friend seven probably seven or eight months like I
00:33:38| didn't have anybody around and the people that I worked with I tried to make friends with them but it was like not really clicking we so like I got in the set routine in the middle of winter
00:33:48| where I didn't do very much and after a while you just start to lose your mind because there's no one around to really give you feedback on what you're doing if you're doing a good job whether you
00:34:00| know you want to live this life like you know it doesn't feel right but it's like the mental shift that slowly starts to drift away from who you were you just kind of accept what you're
00:34:10| becoming and you know it's not as a feel quite right but you have no choice I mean if you're stuck in an area with a job and you just not making it click it starts to wear on you and that was
00:34:22| probably like one of my I wouldn't say I was depressed I was just like and seasonal affective disorder or it just doesn't feel right and you just can't break out of it until you see
00:34:34| changes so that affects your sleep cycle that particular disorder did you know that then it's only affects one to two percent of the population which sounds weird because I've almost everyone kind
00:34:46| of everyone complains about the weather oh it rained today I got wet but anyway I guess 1 to 2 percent is clinical like maybe it affects the maybe people can true like someone like me will never go
00:34:59| to a doctor and say I feel depressed can you help me I like I don't feel like that's the right thing I feel sad you mean said no doctor I said it in all caps yes yeah
00:35:09| couldn't you read my captions this is the the story of my life right here captured on something about sad is um sunlight helps so they have you sit under sunlight sunlight lamps like a
00:35:21| vitamin D deficiency almost check this shit out patients who've been given some light doses to their skin will not actually recover at all the sunlight has to enter the eyes I've read that expect
00:35:35| to happen and I was like excuse me thank God I literally be able to take those like are you kidding me like you can't just absorb it through skin it's gotta go through your eyes and I don't
00:35:44| know why that's it's something about the cycle of your brain where it thinks that it's in the summertime maybe because it's active it feels like it's doing something that's wild I'm really good
00:35:54| it's not vitamin D what you get through your skin mm-hmm so it's something else I don't even know what it is at this point now I'm like okay holy shit I believe you so um I was
00:36:07| probably depressed for like maybe I probably would have been clinical when I first started high school we moved from the city and all my BFS to like the suburbs like the deep suburbs like that
00:36:21| yeah but um I also found fell in love with my first girlfriend ha serious girlfriend like we were gonna get married we're meeting in heaven actually I already promised her I'm
00:36:35| gonna meet her in heaven okay what's going on she I say kids hey it's been hired yeah okay I can say her name hey Kim I guess we're gonna meet in heaven this is gonna be weird she promised that
00:36:47| yeah since you I can't wait this is this is strange I I'm just gonna go to the other side of heaven I'm just gonna go that side we got to check in like when in a while
00:36:58| it was cool well IKEA I didn't I never thought about you since I we broke up it's okay yeah baby I have three kids just two anyway combined yep three the couple I'm sure it's written on a bunch
00:37:21| of stuff in the max buyers playground hmm anyway I would visit her I took two septa buses with a transfer took me an hour and I own visitor back in uh Philadelphia
00:37:33| I was so this sounds entirely crazy you were in on it 100% at 13 I just started playing roller hockey so the orange ball out of my life ball yeah nine o'clock at night I would um tell my
00:37:49| parents I was going outside and they would let me I still don't know why and I would walk up our new street in the suburbs I'd walk up and down the street with a hockey stick like the roots
00:37:59| probably half a mile - yes probably half a lot more way to the top of Street just rolling the hockey ball along like the where the curve was so Santa's go up and down for like I'm talking I would do
00:38:10| this for like an hour or two looking back it's crazy I mean I was I would write really dark dark poetry that was like the paint isn't this the beginning of teenage years though I mean coming of
00:38:22| age sand listen it's very related it's not like it just happened at 13 but it's poo they one time they found all my dark poems and they confronted me and I told them I was just doing an experiment I
00:38:35| was the worst feeling in the world oh man so I think I mean it's they were like they were like what is this I'm gonna see of darkness
00:38:44| I'd be like shine the light as I shine a light in his eyes just when the only thing I'll say that I thought about depression then was that it was it wasn't like sadness because it was like
00:39:03| a fog over everything hmm we're all friend together and you were in a rut and every day you felt the same but it felt bad that wasn't pain you could feel but you could feel like you
00:39:15| weren't able to do anything yeah it's almost like thinking one day let's say if you used the maximum potential you could do in a day you could climb five feet on a mountain or something like you
00:39:28| could climb right if you really had a great day and maximum potential and everything went right you can climb five feet a beautiful day and you look back and in your head you realized wow the
00:39:42| mountain I'm being crushed under is 18 miles big even if I did great for 40 days in a row it wouldn't matter I'm just gonna clearly go your life feat every day and so it's not worth the
00:39:55| effort to have a great day where you maximize everything it's like this all sucks it's you you want to fight it but it's so big it's the world and it's not worth it and that's how I think
00:40:12| depression feels it's hard because it affects your brain it affects the way you sleep you're tired every day you feel like shit you don't want to work out why would you want to work out
00:40:21| you're bored all the time sometimes your favorite songs don't even make you happy you listen to them but it just sounds like crap and you want to turn off but you want to respect your favorite song
00:40:30| so now you're listening to a song for three minutes and you hate it and it's your favorite song we friggin hate it and you turn it off you don't know what to do you don't even want to call your
00:40:39| friends up because they want to do something fun but the fun thing is gonna suck and like you're you're stuck I don't know it's like it's are you still into itself getting over Kim your
00:40:48| ex-girlfriend here maybe I'm just I'm getting back in the mood for the podcast but that's how I think depression feels and it's it's weird because it feeds itself it's hard to get
00:41:00| out of it it's a cycle so it's real you see I'll start with the start of high school because I think everyone has that shock where they change location they change their friends and our high
00:41:12| school was far away from where I lived were probably you live too so you can't really hang out with the people it's not like you're gonna go back on the bus then I'll get off on the bus and hang
00:41:23| out and say anything no so it's like 15 or you know you're 1415 right okay okay you definitely can't drive that's what you're screwed parents aren't driving you yeah for our situation anyway so
00:41:37| even in sophomore year I actually wanted to drop out cuz I was tired it like you feel like a lot of this yeah a lot of the stuff that they go over is just boring crap like reiterate the stuff
00:41:50| that we tell you and make sure that you can remember it like that this is garbage like I honestly want my parents said like I don't want to do this anymore I think this is just stupid
00:41:59| stuff that it doesn't make any sense to me I mean it made sense but it just mentioned something he did in grade school or kindergarten yeah so in grade school I was also kind of this way too
00:42:10| is that there was certain things that I thought just were stupid and pointless so I like what the call is like truancy so I got truancy officer make sure you make you make sure you go to school so I
00:42:21| used to go to grade school and this is probably like sixth grade when I was maybe 11 and I would just you know I've walked out of the school like I get off the bus walk with the kids to the door
00:42:32| and they like welcome folks I can see him in a leather jacket yeah so the school would call my parents saying he never showed up to school and then they'd hunt me down and like
00:42:46| neighborhoods where I had to walk or you I would walk through the neighborhoods back to my house cuz I just you know how long have it walk is this oh this is probably like I found a walk it at least
00:42:56| an hour yeah dude it's pretty far yeah yeah you know you weren't like a target of like if you were a cute kid oh boy Feuer thank God you were terrible looking good my friend told me about the
00:43:12| story of his friend who was walking on the side of the road and some guy pulled up and said you know he kind of beautiful would you uh and he's like as the mony said you uh
00:43:22| and I was like nope and then he took off he started sprinting but yeah if I was a cute kid I don't know I was in the suburbs so I was kind of safe if I was in the city it might be don't mean shit
00:43:32| just means you're farther apart the house is you can still find out if repos get it yeah well yeah so I don't that's one of those things that like education and sitting in one spot and I just I
00:43:46| don't know I just boring don't you deal with a job it's the exact same thing with a book a job when you're sitting at a computer and you're you're essentially done your task for the day and you're
00:43:59| just like wondering what you're gonna do make a podcast work on all the socials get all them links work them that's that's what you can do actually what I found works the best is when I'm bored
00:44:10| is to actually read about certain things so like this is honestly the podcast when we have like a subject and I start diving into the subject like that last hour of the day where I'm just like I'm
00:44:20| done what do I do whatever topic we're gonna yeah like that otherwise you start asking for stuff to do and then they give you way too much and then it just becomes an overload and then you start
00:44:31| to get stressed good point so is stressed part of that whole system we're just talking about hmm this stress on the rise in America today would you say this though is uh this is gonna lead in
00:44:48| suicide but I don't get there yet yeah it is okay okay take your time it's only been five hours or 45 minutes so your your sadness is breaking up with Kim no we're still going out with her you're
00:45:04| still going out with her but didn't she cheat on me or something times I also had another one geez girl troubles yeah well you hit puberty and then your penis controls most of what you do and you
00:45:21| started getting fixated on other people I guess for like they validate who you are as a person maybe that's kind of what you just men do that's what women are to men I think
00:45:33| is that they validate that you're a sexual beast that you know you are and they are interested in what you have to say it's someone to talk to and someone to reflect with only about two different
00:45:44| things their home you know because I can validate what you say Dan and how interesting it is I will not validate that you are a sexy beat I understand right yeah he needs
00:45:59| lust takes over the loins control the yeah we don't have a female aspect to this but maybe we will one day but one day I'll be a great podcast Whitman yeah I think
00:46:11| so um so I guess I want to talk about like the girlfriends that got under my skin like the one she could actually feel something for Ames we're gettin down and dirty here I'll I'm selling the
00:46:23| names cuz I don't think they look good listen to this first names only first names only folks so Kelly you meant you met Kelly start with her it was like 20 is don't remember
00:46:39| hook in their mind then never mind then god no no this is one of those things that like she was into me I was into her but it didn't work out for some reason we didn't like just we didn't get like
00:46:51| for some reason you can't could about now yeah God you change the name no it's the same name Kelly Kelly someone unrelated Tim no I would not tried to go after Mike um yeah
00:47:16| so yeah tried so there's I don't know there's something that happens between men and women where they can't communicate properly we're like oh I'm attracted to you you can't say like I'm
00:47:30| attracted to you or you attracted to me like do you want to do something like that's the most boring thing you could do sure but no one no one does that no one no one just says like these are my
00:47:40| feelings tell me your feelings like um um good-looking idiots through the whole dating scene oh and although I'm very like oh what's going on here you're like good-looking you know I call pretty oh
00:47:56| they can say whatever they want so usually they do say the lowest mean they have the least I'll put into it and they get positive feedback every time because they're
00:48:05| super good-looking the good-looking once oh you're not at all oh thanks it's like that's all it took and you're also you're like gods but look what I'm getting at is I had nothing to do with
00:48:16| the conversation nothing to do with the getting there nothing to do with the work between the two it was literally just physical trying on a metal game we need not mental at all not a mental game
00:48:25| that's why all the pickup artists stuff and like the things you can still share girls is mostly bullshit I mean if she's attracted to you she's attracted to you it's something innate I think we talked
00:48:36| about this in certain episodes we're not gonna get into the whole what attracts male and female but he think just it happens off the bat or daughter it's not like I worked on her and eventually she
00:48:48| realized that manga is pretty cool whatever like she got really big into pokemon cards and now I'm like check out my deck like Kagome it's not gonna you don't you don't work a game on a girl
00:49:01| like that yeah cuz I don't think the girl what picks up on the game that you're throwing anyway especially not in high school you're not I mean even through so I guess part of the problem
00:49:15| is I think like several years ahead like I'm planning to like become whatever like the I'm cat King yeah the king of whatever the like a queen king queen out of it make a whole family you know and
00:49:31| stuff yeah so for like high school in college even like you should probably not focus on the long term and just enjoy it so that was part of my depression too is cuz like I'm a mental
00:49:43| person I'm an over-thinker I'm an over planner I'm all trying to move things towards the goal and I don't think that any of the women
00:49:51| like Pam smart people are sad I know I know yeah so like Pam was my first real girlfriend and I like I fell for her really hard but for some reason it just like wasn't clicking and she kind of
00:50:08| knew it and like but we're like I dated her for like six months and went to college and there's a separation there and things kind of drifted apart but like the most angry you can get is after
00:50:19| it all falls apart it's like the most oppressed you can get is when they say you know this isn't working I mean you try to figure out like why is it it isn't working and it never there's no
00:50:30| explanation that they can give you to tell you exactly why it doesn't work that's the way I can't fix it there's no formula they can give you to fix it sound like hey if you did X Y & Z in
00:50:40| solve a problem and it'll be finished uh-huh there's no solving the problem it's an unsolvable problem yes right yeah which bothers people who are perfectionist and planning ahead is that
00:50:50| we were saying yeah so you have anxiety disorder thank you anxiety that I can't fix I can't fix the problem that's in front of me can't fix humans humans are the
00:51:03| most screwed up thing yeah I think they're destined to have anxiety issues and depression and all these things mm-hmm yeah I mean it's a delta right yeah good one more girlfriend I do I do
00:51:20| I'll tell you so there's no happiness is a delta so you're constantly trying to do stuff in order to make yourself better and if you do you feel happy and if you don't feel it kind of crappy so
00:51:31| like I had this recent Lowell where I finished a couple projects I really didn't have very much to do and I was trying to like decide what I wanted to do but I didn't want to start it because
00:51:40| I was just like in a reflective phase and then I ran I prepared all right yeah sorry there are nevermind but so there I ran into somebody that actually made me feel like excited and I think I'm like
00:52:01| old enough mature enough to understand like what's going on now which I haven't told you this yet but like every time I see this person like my body realizes that like for some reason something's
00:52:13| triggered so I get adrenaline I get like a huge amount of like just feel like super excited everything's happening I can't think i black out and then I wake up like Tim is later and like what
00:52:25| the hell just happened so know where I want to go with this one this is you're gonna have to guide me through this one okay what I'm gonna say is do you think if it doesn't work out or can't work out
00:52:38| or shouldn't work out that you're gonna be depressed from this this is gonna is it almost destined for failure so this is a ston its own nature I'm not trying to like so this is the key I'm not
00:52:50| trying to date this woman like I know that it's that's not the level I want to get to but she won't even like try to be friends with me which is weird in like a very like subtle way
00:53:01| so I force friendship or dating I think yeah and so I think you're left with the exact problem we discussed earlier there's no X Y & Z to fill out there's no X plus a Z equals y that was a
00:53:17| terrible math equation by the way but there's no formula or facts that you can do that will change it exactly there's no formula it's just open-ended and the open
00:53:28| endedness goes to nowhere and you're like well I just want to do Thanks can I just do Y even if I work my ass off or Y even if I do mix a few things boom no there's no guarantee and it's
00:53:42| the weirdest thing because most things in science math life just most things physics everything around us all it works you can do things you can solve them even if it's an impossible solution
00:53:56| you can work and work towards it right with humans this thing you're talking about French love depressions I excited enough excitement they're all emotions emotions
00:54:09| have no don't have an x-value they don't have a level they don't have anything there's no way you can control them there's no way you can input something into them that they'll output something
00:54:21| you want they're weird yeah they make no friggin sense sometimes yeah you can't lob the key over and then turn the key and then all of a sudden emotions pop out it's like hmm what I've
00:54:35| learned through maturity and it takes a while for this to happen is that exactly that you can't expect people to feel a certain way but you can feel a certain way so if it happens to you and you feel
00:54:47| like you know you can't do anything about it maybe that's okay you have to understand that like you might feel excited and that's good to feel excited but maybe you can't use
00:54:57| that excitement to go anywhere yeah you just have to feel the excitement that and yeah I think a lot of the times I used to force relationships or try things with women because I felt like it
00:55:10| was the necessary thing to do but you know I could be passive about it still be open to it and let things happen or in this case where I actually asked her if she wanted to do something and she
00:55:25| shut me down like nobody's business I'll put that and I was like I could never explain exactly what I was trying to say because they never give you that shot but that's okay that's also okay yeah I
00:55:39| got shot dead he's doing that shotgun but from my perspective it's not getting shot down because I'm not trying to date her like that's not what I'm trying to do hmm I don't disagree with any of this
00:55:51| yeah and that's I mean I think that's my whole previous like dating all the depression and all the things that happen when you're you know all your emotions are going you want to dive all
00:56:02| in and then nothing happens and then you feel like all those emotions that you put out there or just try to retract them swings back the other way emotional in your opinion
00:56:13| hmm like it doesn't have a solid basis it doesn't have a XYZ there's no solution there's no cause it's it's a tangle of things that we can't really 100%
00:56:24| describe you know control when Pam broke up with me I mean the first thing I do is just walk outside and sit somewhere and just try to think it through it doesn't matter it does you can't I try
00:56:38| to get away from people just cuz I think about this we go out in the woods or something yeah yeah yeah yeah like trees or 40 good at what clearing I'm just curious
00:56:48| all of that all the above to like give me on college campus and you walk out towards the nearest woods or would you go towards like just walk closest like what yeah I mean do something to get
00:57:00| away from where you are change your atmosphere but it doesn't help I don't think it helps I mean it helps it in the fact that you're not gonna like punch somebody because they piss you off in
00:57:09| that moment is getting away from people helps but I never punch your punched in wall so this is part of like the playing video games part this is throwing a controller or punching a TV screen like
00:57:26| almost breaking your feet yeah with CRT monitors they're like we're 50 pounds back in the day visi try like 500 pounds that are heavy my dad picked one up it was like a 45 inch but it's it's bigger
00:57:41| it's more than 45 inches behind ya then this screen we had to move it out of the basement Lord it was probably like 350 pounds wild me my dad are strong by the way do pull-ups before the podcast
00:57:57| dancehall yeah I think we had an episode of called injury where Nick hurt himself trying to lift something in someone's basement down the steps God still terrifying I'm going to her wedding
00:58:11| destination wedding next week wow that's fantastic I'm free anyway never been to Nashville in the comments if you can tell me if it's good or bad I might change my mind
00:58:21| it's in 24 hours your opinion means everything to me let me know mm so the one with thing perception so a lot of people are probably depressed based on perception
00:58:35| of what they should be I don't think there's a rule for what people should be they should just try to be better than their old self try to keep getting better regardless of where you are as I
00:58:46| agree everyone says Facebook is the worst right or Instagram like everyone [Laughter] unburied my leaf Wow sorry everyone says Facebook is the worst because everyone's
00:59:02| grandparents run it's super political its charges got stupid half memes they're not even real memes or like corny happening yeah they're stolen from somewhere else yeah exactly
00:59:12| Facebook is the least original site anyway um people hate it whenever it's your grandmom's cookie recipe what's going on in the neighborhood politically charged whatever Instagram it's probably
00:59:25| the most depressing because it makes everyone look like a supermodel a super chef or a super happy parent like Instagram is when you put your glamour shots it's the fifth largest
00:59:38| social media website right now Instagram and Facebook number one they have you to whatsapp stuff like that 800 million people use Instagram that's a lot of people yes it's where you put your
00:59:54| glamour shots it's where you put your pictures of your vacation or the perfect dinner and garnished perfectly set at the perfect spot with a perfect filter it's where you have your kids report
01:00:06| card perfectly sit here next to his other award Instagram I think is a problem because it's your perfect spot it's where you put your perfect pictures a spooky you put some perfect shots you
01:00:18| put some everyday shots you put your dog whatever you move down the list like different social media sites are usually for different things if you agree with that yeah okay cool tinder tinder piece
01:00:32| where you put your dong shot do on 9 do online now guys is that that's right we do online now guys what's a dong Vsauce actually so like snapchat is where you send like either
01:00:58| dirty pictures or your vacation pictures or celebrity run-ins like that's where you got to put them out like a rule of thumb um twitter is where you put pictures like either depressing or funny
01:01:12| does that make sense I don't feel that at all I think people just spam that crap everywhere cuz you follow 800 people anyway this guy's a Twitter bot but anyway yeah yeah sorry idea is where
01:01:27| you put like nerdy stuff it's like nerdy and like that geeky it's people who are big fans of things whether you go to read it doom the new doom game ready geography porn or like where you take
01:01:42| pictures of the earth that look purify boring Kenny I am I picked younger people earth born that's a real thing it is Earth porn yeah but you we all go online and going online is on the
01:01:59| rise like you everyone goes online everyone has to post selfies everyone has to post their vacation base everyone has to pick post-dinner pic and there's a growing thing where people can't keep
01:02:12| up your vacation isn't as glamorous as so-and-so yeah I woke up on a mountaintop here's a picture of it I crapped in a bowl of caviar and look at this it's right still tastes great but
01:02:28| [Laughter] we set unrealistic goals and it reminds me of the medicine thing you told them we keep upping the ante you up your dosage you upped your dosage everything
01:02:42| keeps getting higher it never stops I mean online is forever right even though we refresh every day yeah you find your online picture from six years ago it's forever
01:02:56| we keep upping our Annie we need to be better we need to be super moms we need to look like this in our bikinis we need to have dinners that look like this we need to go on vacation places that look
01:03:05| like this and I think the reality is we don't but reality is we don't vote yeah cuz you're sourcing pictures from what gonna be better than you what you can experience in most your life everyone on
01:03:25| the Instagram let's say you follow most of the people you know who are regular people like you we found like eight to ten supermodels and you follow eight to ten super chefs and you follow eight to
01:03:37| ten people who have like super good kids who like do crazy savant shit and then you fall eight to ten people who have like super craftsman skills you're always going to be behind them that's
01:03:49| what they do and you will always feel behind these people I think it's a it's a condition that happens in people you can Instagram every day you gotta like your friends your cousin mom
01:04:03| Joey's posts that you could picture you throwback Thursday your dad he he tries to do carpentry but he's all whole we gotta like it anyway you gotta follow your cousin your friend from high school
01:04:13| your BFF from college shoutout BFF from college but you do all these things and where is the room for you to post a shitty picture I'm a shitty day I feel like there should be a social network
01:04:28| that captures just average people doing shitty things it's Twitter I'm telling it wrong I'm doing a robbery Twitter is um so I read an article on I wanted I mean
01:04:44| jeez Joey Parker you went here and gather your thoughts cuz I have two stats here oh god please please do so like won't help me gather my thoughts begun
01:04:54| it's alright sure so it's keeping up with the Joneses is that feeling that you need to match whatever somebody else is doing talk about this a little bit before so like luxury cars you see like
01:05:05| a really nice car on the streets something that's probably worth more than like maybe 80 grand like really high-end it's like 60% of the luxury cars out there are not owned
01:05:17| they're least so like most of those people actually probably maybe they're three years yeah they're they're not living uh they're not actually wealthy they just like to try new stuff so in my
01:05:33| job a few years back there was an intern that started that was driving Mercedes turns I was just leasing the Mercedes like he didn't it wasn't owned like a wealthy person he was just an average
01:05:42| person who was just like gonna try this out for a year or two so it's kind of a strange thing to see all these like really nice cars around but those people probably don't own them and they
01:05:52| probably don't care about the car and they didn't pay for it they just renting it for a short while right you had a expensive price but still don't try to match yourself to
01:06:03| what you see around you the other that yourself to Instagram or whatever obviously yeah it's the same idea it's the same thing with housing like people have some really nice houses and it
01:06:13| seems like how do they afford it you never know someone's finances until they can't afford something it's like in 2008 the housing crisis hit and something like 2% of homeowners they filed
01:06:27| foreclosure bankruptcy so yeah so a good majority of people probably in your neighborhood can't afford the house that they live in so if you're looking at somebody to their physical property you
01:06:41| don't know how much they're leveraging in order to own that stuff for it to look that certain way on Instagram or to go on that vacation they might be broke as shit and living a terrible life and
01:06:52| they could be depressed on antidepressants and trying to be perky and happy you don't you don't have no idea what these people actually doing maybe they post
01:07:00| one picture in the rest of the time they're frowning and crying and sobbing on the floor Oh imagine it if there was a frown in the picture it's not getting posted right yeah you're only posting
01:07:10| the good thing again the highest part of your bar the highest bar from the individual you're looking at is getting posted so really we don't know how much is not getting posted yeah if you were
01:07:23| forced to put a post every picture you took how crazy would that be people have all picked yeah running away it's all fuzzy there and then there's a picture with a dog shitting right on the lawn
01:07:38| and then this is going on someone spilled wine on their marble if you spill wine on marble its porous it'll go through the wall and go through the marble can use that uh stale tabletops
01:07:48| and restaurants and so you could code violation no I did you got a seal it got a seal huh 10-year sealed and you contact Nick at Colonial Murray blow jobs calm anyway did you
01:08:10| gather your thoughts World Health Organization who way Joe yeah I already know yeah bitch that's what you're saying yeah what what happens after suicide oh Jesus Christ
01:08:29| we're in depression yes I don't know should check our previous episode on the afterlife clean up a lot of clean and so this is the sad part in real second I want to cover the sad part so we can not
01:08:46| end on the sad part we'll move forward but yeah 800,000 suicides a year it's a lot it's 1.4 percent of all deaths in the world a year willingly deciding that they didn't want to live anymore people
01:09:07| choosing so my mom used to say you know suicide has a definitive end and there's no way to correct the problem so if you wanted to fight the problem committing suicide
01:09:21| doesn't mean you get to solve the problem sure so I never really seemed like an option for me in any in any kit any situation I've definitely thought of it but more in like a fantasy way yeah
01:09:34| like a it's like the one I thought of fighting works as an elf to having sex with a lot of celebrities like these are things I've thought of but not like planned out oriented we'll get into that
01:09:47| number but um it's a leading cause of death from people 15 to 29 leading cause it's the number one cause someone dies between the ages of 15 to 29 it's probably from suicide because it's next
01:10:03| is probably I didn't look it up a car accident hmm if this one people each ten to thirty four and this is really depressing each 10 to 34 it's a second leading
01:10:16| cause of death 10 yeah but I mean how many how else did 10 year olds die I don't know this is like where I got real real dark in my own region I was like holy shit and then I was like well at NU
01:10:32| I could have heart issues or they could but chances are they're not getting diabetes or so the overweight or whatever like the factors in suicide as by this list there's mental illness
01:10:46| which makes sense into a partner something happens their relationship falls apart recent crisis physical health problems at work or financial problems it's amazing that people decide
01:11:00| for those reasons to end their own life because they all seem correctable except for mental illness and just weird you say that and financial situation did you know 79 percent of suicides
01:11:14| occur and low to mid income families people who can't dig themselves out of the trench they built maybe you know the depression thing I mentioned like so you can climb
01:11:24| four feet a day if you did your best work and you did awesome and you can really climb out of a hole and then you realize the holder is five miles deep so how many things is that like I'm not
01:11:38| gonna do the perfect eight don't but that's that's perfect days so someone looks up and realizes there's no way out I think very much financial problems and we've discussed an episode before people
01:11:52| who have the least money are the most taxed they're the most overworked by thanks you know for it to get caught in a debt cycle with like credit cards bail bonds and cash advances money more money
01:12:09| it's all the same factor right at that point is which is depressing they surmise that one person commits suicide every 40 seconds in the world by 2020 at the current rate of expansion of human
01:12:27| life and expansion of suicide because that's on the rise thumbs up everyone one person every 20 seconds will commit suicide hmm they have hotlines and shit we've touched on this call and if you do
01:12:41| need help go call we will literally say that I would never say not to I might the suicide the so the one fact I read is that the suicide lines don't really help you in a long-term sure right now
01:12:58| if you're if you're having an issue call try to figure yourself out but if it's not working you gotta find something else you know don't stick on the suicide
01:13:07| lines because in the long term there's no appreciable difference but right now maybe so don't don't do it just think about it obviously don't do it um the CDC did a report that on for
01:13:27| media rise suicide at least in the United States is a 30 percent hmm yeah I mean I think we from 1% to what's 30 percent sometimes yeah what was that
01:13:45| it's up 30 percent won't say it was it point what's 13.3% okay why give me the easiest maths problem ever it doesn't sound like a lot but 10% is way it's
01:14:04| weird Chester Bennington like a park right yeah Matt Pat what do you commit suicide that's oh say Chris Cornell I think Mean Joe how did he do it you
01:14:18| gotta explain what happened I do I do I want to know yes please do I don't know Bennington I'll talk about like Robin Williams so how was his happen Robin when he was
01:14:36| aged 63 at the time yeah he was age 63 he had he hung himself because he had Lewy body disease which is like we don't know why anyone did anything this is fact ahead yeah well that's I know in
01:14:53| his wife disease does his wife said that's why he did it cuz he was slowly losing control of his own self what that doesn't mean that's why he did it I guess that's true cuz
01:15:05| there is spin because the family could control the situation saying it it was one way or the other he was faced with might know life markets and see is a big part of it it could be part of it yeah
01:15:16| you don't know what he's thinking right child pornography and they're like this is it I can't do this is ridiculous yeah this is that's a form of dementia by the way he didn't I just picked the worst
01:15:30| thing I could I don't know what he just said but I ignored it and clearly like you should ignore it but I'm saying we don't know what any of these people experienced an hour before they did it I
01:15:41| don't know yeah maybe they went to a website where it shows you kids killing themselves maybe they went to a website that shows you other people killing themselves and then they
01:15:51| were like this is so messed up I can't be here I can't do this I have no idea so if you watch six kids kill themselves each ten and under what would you do so if so this is my this is my thought
01:16:08| process if I saw that happen it's not like this world is so bad that I need to end myself it's the the world is so bad out there that maybe I can influence it to be better maybe I can prevent it in
01:16:20| the future by being something a little good way to look at it maybe it can have a podcast where I say that's a terrible thing and everyone should change it if they can it's a great idea there's a
01:16:30| good idea yeah so is that what your your final answer here um did you look up anyone's suicide you got chester bennington anthony bourdain recent yeah he was it was third on my list
01:16:46| he was 61 so older so like I I'm not that old I don't know what it feels like to be that old I don't know how much things weigh on you yeah where's that you can't reset your life once you get
01:17:00| that old I mean honestly if you decided like maybe I'll have another kid it's 61 holy you're gonna be no you gonna be really old I mean you can still do it but not not hold up check this 61 sounds
01:17:14| old right 61 and 91 your whole life practically yeah now you can relive a whole life and literally a whole life I mean you're older I don't know what you can yeah I don't know if they're gonna
01:17:26| make it okay Anthony Bourdain did a lot of drugs true but yeah he ha he hung himself it's kind of sad because he was filming a show with I think it was I don't know what show it was but he was
01:17:39| with Erick repair repay I don't know how to say his name but if he's a friend and he was supposed to show up to dinner and he didn't show up to dinner and then he's supposed to
01:17:47| show up to breakfast to enjoy breakfast so his friend Eric was like something's not right here and then you know in the middle of filming the show they found out that he was dead and he doesn't
01:17:59| really I don't know why he did it it mean he all accounts he seems like he had a good life but you never know the dark side of people it's the same thing
01:18:08| Instagram and posting the happiest parts he said the sad part people don't talk about most of the mass shooters end up killing themselves right now obviously most of them know this is a stigma that
01:18:21| you don't want to talk about the bad parts of your life because no one wants to hear it which is a terrible way to live life it is um I found out on this podcast
01:18:30| that she came in so like Marilyn Monroe I had no idea and then you told me when you googled it one day yeah there was a big headline in the newspaper right Marilyn morale was at pills yeah I think
01:18:44| you told me and I forgot but I either way I didn't know she commits suicide yet again all these are supposedly if crime investigation comes in and tells us that someone made it look like a
01:18:56| suicide chirp I believe it was Elvis Elvis was pills too right uh did he die on the commode that's so weird that's the thing he did and I think Heath Ledger died of a mix of drugs as well
01:19:10| right so did what's-her-name the girl who Britney Amy Winehouse well she did but um no I Oh Brittany Murphy huh did she I think she died pills - so you know you don't
01:19:25| know the stressors that are people are living with of their own life I mean maybe they're taking the drug student to cope with whatever their the hard work schedules or something you say out
01:19:34| Hemmingway unrest Thompson have anyone killed myself yeah oh my god he's the famous one with the tow and the shotgun Oh didn't they disprove he commits suicide
01:19:46| there's a hundred almost a hundred percent on a shit better the hell with the shotgun with the string might not be real so they said the same thing for Kurt Cobain Kurt Cobain had a shotgun
01:20:01| she's thinking music her whole and we're gonna met not gonna mention her name van Gogh killed himself here's a crazy one so then we get into like Sylvia Plath Virginia Woolf Freddie Prinze not
01:20:14| Freddie Prinze jr. Chester Bennington Chris Cornell and they Bourdain like Robin Williams like just I started seeing their pictures attached it was rude it was like sad yes yeah some of
01:20:27| these people are really influential it's weird because you could look at a list of celebrities that died young whether it's from cancer or carts or something and you'd look and you'd feel sad but
01:20:36| something sadder about seeing a list of celebrities that took their own life because that your expectations are changed because of the people that had a choice to do it and they did it um in
01:20:49| fact that it's on the rise in the world today and the fact that social media otherwise maybe it's not a coincidence I don't know you said keeping up with the Joneses having a certain look indebting
01:21:01| yourself some people find themselves so in debt they can't get out I mean it's definitely a different world all connected we're also taking a negative news every day because what makes the
01:21:11| news positive stuff no one knows it's most shocking are you shock value man has sex with one year old and then burns body or something that's the worst thing you get they go it literally is the
01:21:26| worst thing I know that's awful as I was looking it's it's crazy because I have this list of methods of suicide right next to me and I'm like looking down the list I'm like none of those
01:21:38| none of those are worse than what make just said I was just thinking the worst there was a band whose leave guy tried net sex with a child under two and he was it doesn't even makes how much
01:21:55| accoding into the we're not getting the logic of it we're getting into if someone does the worst thing and takes their own life like I can't imagine what they're thinking I can't be there I
01:22:06| can't tell them not to I can't I can't anything and there's something to be said for the fact that we're making more people stay alive longer we're making it's easier you don't
01:22:18| survive like think about it you have to go outdoors and grow your own food and survive and fight off predators Oh survive the temperatures now you're keeping more people alive so this small
01:22:32| percentage of people who take their own lives I don't know they would have naturally survived I have no idea something so many people alive I don't know if it's
01:22:42| right I don't know it thanks this some of the numbers for like South Korea South Korea has an aging population that is like they highly regard the family a lot of the older people decide to commit
01:22:54| suicide because they feel like they're a burden I very yeah well there's there is I think that was a Japanese I think I was Japanese but Japanese has a similar culture where they really are intense
01:23:05| about the community and so I mean these people are deciding to protect others through their own death which seems like so backwards that you feel like you're not contributing to society but you have
01:23:19| do you don't know you can gauge your own contributions in societies evany - you're a Japanese woman you raised your children to fold rear you no longer you have arthritis you can't move your hands
01:23:33| that much I don't know if they have Social Security there I don't know what she's praying in she doesn't work anymore the family she's with doesn't have any
01:23:41| children that her babies anymore and she doesn't babysit she doesn't do anything she's there every day she wakes up she watches whatever's on TV she has arthritis she's in deep pain doesn't
01:23:51| help anyone someone has to pay for her food someone has to pay for a rent someone has to pay for everything what is she thinking if it goes on for eight years five years she's getting worse and
01:24:02| help she's not getting better I don't know what she thinks I don't know that I'd want anyone to commit suicide I don't know that I agree with it I'm just saying is that what she thinks I'd
01:24:13| rather go off into the spirit world and face what's beyond I had no idea maybe it seems more honourable than having someone wipe your ass at 72 and pay for your rent your own kid who you raised
01:24:26| who you love who you're literally such a financial burden on that you can see that just you were around you'd have enough money to make more money and save money
01:24:36| and buy a bigger house and it gives kids more money I don't know I really don't know I'm just imagining a scenario and I'm like that's pretty deep I'm not going to the woods and hanging myself
01:24:50| but if someone did I don't know sorry to bring the podcast there yeah a little bit before we really yeah look folks don't do it folks hang in there that's all different colors you can hug
01:25:16| it you can do the unicorn through plant any happy folks so if you check our link at the bottom all the money will go to just us that don't work we've decided yet I don't want to be just suicide guy
01:25:43| I don't want to talk about that we will get into the rush of blue whale phenomenon and MoMA mean that was running around do you know what these games what what I didn't want to do this
01:25:58| so there's a series of games in Russia social media I believe where it was a blue whale games and it was like his age like 10 18 10 15 when we participate there's that you'd have to video record
01:26:13| and upload online the Bears got increasingly weird like Jon your route to the neighbors roof right what you would keep leveling up you get higher and higher your ultimate status is
01:26:25| checking it out right well the last level is always on okay you're selling kill yourself and record it and yeah do it record it I think the number is closer to ten or seven or nine or
01:26:38| fourteen it's really hard to find factual information but even that is depressing that would happened ten years ago is that gonna rise and ten years from now I imagine it
01:26:50| is I know who now how to explain that it will with social media is more important than our lives right more influential people are gonna get suckered into it yeah I mean there's there's other memes
01:27:03| that run across like that Lowe's blue whale I think there's MoMA those scary bass with the big eyes ladies there's all sorts of these things but they pop up and they're they're mostly fox news
01:27:14| headlines bomas it's check your kids phones for blue whale symbols like most those people in the world aren't doing this but the fact that some are is weird it is disturbing and it does talk a
01:27:27| little bit about the human condition we're living too good of a life combined with too bad of a life we're destroying the planet maybe we're headed for disaster we're doing crazy terrible
01:27:39| things but we all have super iPhones okay give us all the answers we all have instagrams where we can see how rich people eat dinner it's a weird connection and I think
01:27:51| that's what's causing this what you say when you get so sad there you get really really hungry no now do you all the time never hungry sometimes I just get so upset that I feel like a big bowl of
01:28:06| strawberries and I just eat those fresh strawberries and contemplate my own existence while crying are you saying there should be a website like get it dedicated to this are you saying back
01:28:27| around the 2003 to 2007 yeah they've been able to find such a web that was called beautiful crying I was crying while eating if anyone remembers crying while eating that's incredible
01:28:43| that was always whenever I was upset I would always watch that person cry we'll eat a fresh bowl of strawberries contemplating their own existence do you think it was all set up like to be
01:28:54| humorous like I guess I don't know how you could catch somebody in that moment of contemplation is that it's a trill someone's trilling is there your poop coming alive no I was
01:29:15| trying to show everyone else like a happy-go-lucky you just killed it anyway folks by this fun guitar dogs because I'm gonna get real depressed real quick folks he'll get so angry I could break
01:29:45| it literally walk yesterday noise and then stop anyway oh man depressed don't be sad don't be caught up in the instagram problem that's going around us go to Twitter and social medias skew
01:30:22| anyway go on Twitter and make I want I can't wait to die memes that's the future hmm make them ingest though cuz for serious if you have mental issues or feeling really really down there's other
01:30:38| solutions we talked about being 61 and like pointing the end think about it you live the ninety one thirty more years they're gonna come out with at least two tools CDs you're gonna have whole new
01:30:51| Harry Potter way more Harry Potter you're gonna have you know it's a really good movie which we never talked about is now for hero but not they did infinity war but they were like the
01:31:04| shoot off they didn't have a comic beforehand Wow yeah I don't know it's talking about but that's fantastic I am Groot I am Groot oh you're talking about guardians
01:31:15| sigasi Thank You Guardians I kept saying Avengers the galaxy I was like that's right and is wrong guardians a galaxy they're gonna come up with new ones and it gets awesome
01:31:23| well my favorite movies that I've seen in the past five years it's really good I almost cry and I feel like they're original characters so that's anti depressing the other thing is fight your
01:31:36| depression with routine set goals exercising unhealthy sleep take on responsibilities challenge negative thoughts it's something new yeah don't you're gonna set loneliness lulls
01:31:44| dropping out of school don't do it freshman year changes college high school homesickness if you haven't you know even change a new location you got to do something different people get
01:31:55| into all sorts of drugs and alcohol when they get depressing it's just what they do and I depressants on the rise luxury cars lineup I don't know who cares don't do alcohol don't do drugs don't listen
01:32:10| to the outside world just figure it out you'll get it there or go to a counselor talk to real people and um mostly talk to us mainly Nick we answer right away in our socials right away like I was
01:32:28| waiting for you to say the socials had something going ah there's certain we have social don't already know I won't I'm not gonna pander anyway folks we like you we like you a lot thanks for
01:32:41| tuning in thanks for staying with us and uh thanks don't worry be happy

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