Transcript of Episode 99 - Sex Education STI STD
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00:00:08| you go out on a date it moves closer to home get down to the couch it's a little frisky you go to the bedroom ah you get an intimate you reach in you go oh wait a second let me I gotta pull
00:00:24| out my swab I gotta check your past history because I'm not sure about your STDs that's what we're gonna cover join us so I'm Dan I'm Nick Bo's for old friends dissecting one topic at a time
00:00:44| people technology media we've got it all covered grab the book each discussion here is a deep dive in or unique perspective taboo forbidden subjects they're all on the chopping block baby
00:00:57| we don't pander to popular opinion Mike and get a little bit dirty morning this podcast may contain mature language and sexual content and is for entertainment purposes only so join us have a good
00:01:11| time open up your earholes [Music] okay boom man I'm Nick folks I'm doing the old classic Nick dan and Susanna Susanna you've all known or you've all
00:01:42| seen her she's been here before folks we're back at it and this time we're gonna tackle the big issue that burning sensation when you pee mm-hmm and I'm pretty sure Nick has HPV to rhyme his
00:01:57| last sentence haha okay cuz it's been accused before we don't throw these terms around lightly I hope I hope by by me or by another lover at someone it's pretty obvious our chemistry is super
00:02:15| natural super tight Alistair for those who might not know Susanna is a biology like whiz kid oh my god wunderkind with that instead of like Susanna knows
00:02:29| like a lot she's been around she's from a mile away yeah I can tell you the science symptoms and whether they're gram negative or gram positive bacteria that gets me high I can't wait
00:02:47| actually this touches on something I did a little research there are actually communities that are into women with like sores on their body and stuff some of its like communities leper community
00:03:00| but I think some of its like maybe herpes for lady I'm serious like you can do it that's a deep rabbit hole or you're looking up leper sex well I was just doing research for this episode
00:03:10| folks but let me test Matt Carville Carville in Louisiana that's they have a small leper colony Soho that's the place with the hospital mm-hmm yeah I heard about that there's like a leper colony
00:03:21| and they all hang out in this big Hospital and no one visits someone no one leaves and it's like second Arshad and lepers interesting and we all know what happens in nursing homes
00:03:34| STDs my man's squeaky chair is key to that yes it was are we gonna talk at all about STD versus STI actually actually another reason why so STD sexually transmitted disease
00:03:52| STI sexually transmitted infection hmm I thought they were kind of interchangeable is there a reason or is it no so it's a good point so what they wanted to do with this is
00:04:05| that like you can have chlamydia but no disease right like that's pretty common in men where they they have the bacteria and they can give it to other people but they never show symptoms sorry yeah
00:04:20| you're a carrier so it's not technically a disease unless you have any symptoms that's why because people are getting kind of like oh well I haven't had any problems so why should I get tested and
00:04:31| so that was kind of a way to move into that space of like you might not have a disease but you still might be infected with something yeah nasty you need to get tested you need to bathe more mm-hmm
00:04:41| cuz that's a fact if you just bathe at cities usually wash right off yep mostly if you bathe in like it's gonna take like a week we'll hand over all your paperwork don't do that legally look
00:04:57| what you think please guide I listen to your podcast and now he's nothing but bones don't don't don't please don't douche I don't know how fast we got into this but
00:05:13| I need to be clean and your body is gonna do its best and honestly if you're like putting random liquids up their swords around we go around it's not gonna be good it's not it's gonna
00:05:26| increase your likelihood of being able to get something swirl in the old bacterial viral petri dish in there so you guys might not actually know this sti's STDs actually can come in
00:05:40| bacterial or viral form I know just blew your mind didn't it are you more familiar with the bacterial ones since I've taken classes on all of it actually so I did my undergrad at the
00:05:55| University of Iowa and I have my Bachelors of Science in microbiology so oh that's true I actually got to work on herpes virus hell yeah one of my labs that was like
00:06:06| my boyfriend was this an X an xx huh I'm sorry you meant like the strain I apologize that's actually oh yeah that would work magic would actually work but let's jump
00:06:19| to herpes I'm Tom well it depends right like one is really common but the second we'll know what I call herpes simplex come and then anymore HSV - thank you every simplex virus 1 and 2 and it's
00:06:40| worth noting that you know okay so there's a bunch of things about herpes one is that like chicken pox is a type of herpes virus it's like a whole category of virus but we're really
00:06:54| interested in these two so they named them hsv-1 and hsv-2 herpes simplex virus so basically hsv-1 at least 90% of the adult population has that it's pretty
00:07:07| commonly passed to you before you're like really even at all in adults just sharing water bottles and and kissing even it's a little lips or yeah yeah so anybody you've ever seen with like a
00:07:23| little lips or that's probably what it is whether or not they know it point to it in public and let them know I mean it's the only polite thing to do is if they don't know it could be just walking
00:07:33| around with it it's disgusting let her be so that's Ranger interface sir sorry is this herpes like what you're like herpes that is actually the best part about working with like microbiologist
00:07:51| is that when you get a herpes sore you just put medication on it you don't have to do the thing where you like put medication on it and then hide it karma like an
00:07:59| hour until it all soaked sin and it was like yeah it's herpes let's move on is it cause I remember what is that stuff called the pointment yeah Lamont that was what methods of transitions and
00:08:14| clearing your drink you can share lip all the people and get it wrong I wish I could share lip balm with people yeah the famous one yeah the time let's turn Webster or Carmack's it's either beans
00:08:27| with LIF like ciear I just makes your lips shiny yeah mm-hmm yeah no I get the knockoff brand anyway cuz it's so expensive oh like this big it's like $25 and I
00:08:40| lose it every single time and then that's some of those things that you don't want to have to go to the store to get it when you need it because you've got like I want to made our window to
00:08:49| when you're like ah it's kind of itchy oh shit that's when you got to have that on there so two things one do you have to like this type one turn in too tight too sometimes or it's a whole different
00:09:00| virus that's a good question no totally different virus okay so I don't even related to each other huh did he sue they're not related to each other it's just turn into each other so the
00:09:11| virus itself like their genes are different enough that they are they're very different and so a lot of times hsv-1 is called oral herpes those old sores
00:09:24| it is possible to get an outbreak in your genitals but basically oral herpes HSV one is really suited to being in your mouth it would rather be in your own that environment what if you know
00:09:39| sex a person with mouth for peace but you're generals were the ones that mouth herbie area yeah any event yeah and especially like the first time you get it you can definitely break out in both
00:09:49| places so but the thing is is that if you ever have something like that happen and you're not sure so if you ever think you might be exposed to herpes you definitely want to get tested just jic
00:10:04| just in case just in case just in case and then also it's like good to know but you also like nobody honestly like there's a lot of reasons to not want to get sti's but one of my biggest reasons
00:10:18| is that I dread that day of like calling people up and being like hey I've been talkin oh my god what's it been five days I just found out some bad news you might want to go I know we had great
00:10:32| coffee the name of the place Castro knows yeah they do all a great dish might have a little herpes we know get another yeah we can go yeah that's just like I don't want to do that sorry help
00:10:49| youth if you have HIV like you have to like call everyone I don't know a legal requirement to call the people that you did have sex with but if you're planing for money you have to reveal it child
00:11:01| you have to only go to you we're not gonna skip ahead but Dan relax we're not and to oh I remember number two the CBS guy or girl knows so much about you yeah I'd like to buy this preparation-h
00:11:19| it's for a friend of mine not for my hemorrhoids I'd like to buy this lip balm for herpes simplex one mind you it's for a friend of mine it's not for me you say it with a sore on
00:11:30| your face you're like I'd like to buy this extra soft toilet paper it's for a friend of mine it's not for me like you buy all your like bad stuff conversations with your like convenient
00:11:39| well I talk to everyone so if you're buying something like I have to explain it these babies to what you can't spread that yeah so I don't know like morally with things just don't be a horrible
00:12:11| person like if someone's giving you access to their body like I think that you owe it to them to just like Trina respect or as much respect as they want you know and so like I don't I don't
00:12:24| know people who are like yeah just whatever so yeah hsv-1 ninety percent of people have it okay hsv-2 I think it's like one in six even that sounds high but it is one of
00:12:39| the more common one how many how many people do you think no habit not people really like how it's gotta be oh how many do I know I'm not people that actually have it how many do you
00:12:53| think no they have it eighty sixty percent less I guess sixty to eighty maybe maybe so that's the idea of like the STI versus STD is it they really is it's men yeah like I feel like women
00:13:12| we're just so freaked out by everything down there all the time that anything goes wrong really I'm dying I'm working and go wrong do you know why huh do you know why more can go wrong with women
00:13:22| hey because of the environment down there woohoo we're talking like old lush forests beautiful rain forests it's like the heavy live organisms life force
00:13:35| young no no I kept coming up with this when it was like that uh and I actually wrote it down I was like what the hell they have cervical ectopy a lot of them a lot of what cervical it's where your
00:13:46| column your column Euler cells are exposed in the back of the cervix it's very common it's like not a natural thing but if there's no other health risk except that these cells are super
00:13:58| susceptible to be infected so that women have one extra not barrier the opposite one extra area that's very susceptible to different strains of viruses or bacteria you type it into any electrical
00:14:10| pathway yeah so plus they have like some nice warm breeding ground II area the guys don't have as large it's true and it's true and also you think of transmission of
00:14:25| fluids it's going in one direction usually or in one direction but the band One Direction women love yeah women love to get STDs to some of their fit their big hits I
00:14:39| can't get into all of them because I don't know all their hits but you're probably right like what is the transmission rate adoring one perfection concerts
00:14:51| did you guys see the Coachella thing no I didn't know Coachella is in town I guess just came out pretty day ahh so we're talking about herpes Coachella is in town I guess this weekend this
00:15:06| will be released a year afterwards so perfect coach he'll be back in town yeah they usually see around 120 or 100 cases in a week or something in Southern California where this area is of new
00:15:21| outbreaks that they determine our herpes they noticed a two thousand and eighty three percent increase in herpes cases in the surrounding three or four hospitals in the area they've pronounced
00:15:37| past week and they're sure it's related to Coachella so huh Coachella go get you some epidemiology dream like holidays like random statistics and matching it with Coachella they're just one running
00:15:49| around swabbing so yeah concerts every can do it I guess I do want to like it's so funny the way that we treat STI is right like so I bring up the fact that herpes like chickenpox is a herpes virus
00:16:05| right like varicella-zoster people are proud of it worse me to get chickenpox when I was younger I think that was the goal no no one knows yet I'm that one guy you know it's like well you get
00:16:31| chickenpox like somebody gets chickenpox really wow that sucks like oh those are even proud of it it's like the Oscars it looks like I got chickenpox now it's like ya got her
00:16:40| has to stake my oh my god yeah well it's just like you know any cold we get it's because we've shared space with somebody I understands the sex part but it's really interesting to me that like still
00:16:51| in this day and age we're fucking everyone fucks everyone you know that's not exactly true but a lot of people are having science it's like it sells music it's it's everywhere that we still have
00:17:09| this idea of like the unclean person or especially the unclean woman it's it's coming it's because of sex again for the exact same reasons that we kind of just discuss cuz you know but what's weird is
00:17:20| I'm not usually like that but even when I was googling these things and writing things down and everything they skied me for some reason but I'm also like yes Keef steeped out I'll creep down yeah
00:17:35| okay 2019 or 2020 when this is released yeah but um no like something about um genital injuries really it's like you know something's give you the weird feelings well like a kick to the balls
00:17:52| or like scraping metal on like a metal fork on the bottom of a metal bowl mine is a slamming fingers and doors I can't even think about it like I have to exit so weird cuz I don't think about it ever
00:18:03| but yeah that's I see what you're saying you ever um do you guys hold on to your phone or whatever you have in your hands really tight when you step out of an elevator because that tiny little gap no
00:18:14| I swear to god no I look down I'll be like don't drop it don't drop it don't drop it and I currently like walk over it in a way that I will not drop that phone which has a one a billion chance
00:18:23| of actually falling perfectly fitting through that which it probably doesn't even fit but and that's something you can see you can well it's a good point side to avoid it yeah that's why I take
00:18:35| the stairs now I've gotten in great physical shape than just taking the stairs folks just take the stairs you lose weight automatically I'm hot boom there you go but there are no well are
00:18:46| there stairs in this case like what what would be the analogy the spheres Oh safe sex opportunity condoms abstinence saving yourself for marriage dental dams you
00:18:59| see save yourself for Jesus I don't I've always heard like you're supposed to and such I wanna see this for the end because I had some problems if I had thought about it before tonight I mean
00:19:14| if I was doing other things I would have went to the store and bought a dental dam like anyway we'll get into that so I'm on a college campus you can get like all they have dental dams what just
00:19:26| laying around a skit yeah essentially I got one one time and I just cuz I was just like what is it I was like it's a giant condom like that's all it is and I kind of I gotta say like part of it I
00:19:37| like the idea like honestly if they can create a dental dam that you could put in at the start of the night and just not worry about it that would be ideal like I don't know
00:19:49| that we work mmm I don't know cuz I mean the issue is like right so women are more susceptible the other thing too is that this has happening more than a couple times where
00:20:04| you're messing around with a guy and suddenly his dicks inside you and then you've got this situation where like what do you do be like back like I mean what you can and probably should do is
00:20:17| be like stop we need to prove something we got something we got to do there's a protection for words we should allow yeah oh and now your test but wait a few weeks get it back no you're right who's
00:20:30| going to the heat of the moment stuff's going off and part of forms now like if you go to like mass comm does it ask you if you have STDs there's like I know there's a was that website for meeting
00:20:44| hiv-positive it was like be positive something so that's different because the legal requirement to announce that before him mmm no if the onus on the website to ask but
00:20:58| not intended for this be exactly because there's an earnest twice to got more great cuz like yeah if it's one in six or so and you've dated twenty people made at least three people who that
00:21:16| happen st day or have had an st day oh no it's I think it's higher or how many have had well it's still like herpes is one in six have at the time well you never get rid of herpes is that
00:21:31| no is its viral no way but then it'll be visit to the viral like are the viral ones the ones are kind of sitting around hanging on your new have differently so it stays actually in in your body it
00:21:44| stays in your cells it actually becomes part like it stays in yourselves so you just carry the herpes with you everywhere so sweet viruses like the cold
00:21:55| it attacks yourselves but it doesn't it's not gonna stay in your cells but herpes once it's in it is in you can't get it out swim with HIV like so someone anyone who ever has gotten her these has
00:22:09| herpes that's why it's a higher number as it is yeah exactly it's like don't forget it once you're done right beyond where my studies came that young people aged 15
00:22:25| to 24 are responsible for 50 percent of all new cases of STDs it has TSX herpes is a one in thirteen from the Taliban site yeah well it's just one disease and that's also just
00:22:40| one website yes yeah it depends so at 18 did what age 34 24 a no 15 to 24 15 to also think of this well so there's a reason for this they think that um 15 to guardianship so if you went to go take a
00:23:04| test a you need to sign all your paper over your parents mail and results to your parents be you're probably not gonna go at sixteen by yourself to the like to get tested
00:23:16| you know what I mean that's please scary cost money you don't have a unit it goes money you don't have it's scary probably can't even drive yet you know you're 16 you just like I gotta
00:23:25| get tested you're not gonna ask your parents for that reason you're very scared and then there's misinformation at that age and then on top of that there's a Chinese illumos running around
00:23:34| hell yeah so it's like a combination of crazy stuff going on it's like the Wild West it's like it's the damnedest time you gotta be careful I don't know that I know for me the first time I had sex I
00:23:46| was not thinking about anything else other than having sex so it was like yeah it's not like you're like you're like I think about the wreck come my Excel spreadsheet out let's go
00:23:55| over the checklist make sure it's okay well any other thing to that no one like no one talks about that much and I don't know very many people who actually take it into account is that like oral sex
00:24:12| spreads Davina's you can get oral sex yeah oh my goodness gentle to metal mouth to genital hand mouth and I melt the ass analingus anilingus asta knows everyone
00:24:32| checks out the Wikipedia edge for anilingus because the picture go ahead what is it it's a it's kind of erotic even though it's a cartoon has good shading on it are they doing like a all
00:24:46| into it I think it's just our podcast they click on this I guess I can I think you can I don't know anyway Tom 70% of all syphilis is actually transferred in the homosexual community men to men and
00:25:02| it's because of oral sex they said so like different groups are at different danger rates because of just practices certain things travel better vaginal - penal anal - mouth mouth - penis I just
00:25:17| want to say all those terms I had a I didn't have stats on those but like you think about it depending on your gender and your practices and here you're gonna with you have different
00:25:29| different rates for what you can get percentages I'm gonna cover Nick's mace with this image this is for the podcast viewers don't forget to take it down sometimes he forgets to take down an
00:25:41| image and if it's up there for the rest of the episodes I'm a good boy that's pretty hot there you go there's a quick shot I'm gonna show you guys and say okay I can't it's still over my face
00:25:56| look I mean a Lingus where's that oh that's really great oh yeah yep oh wow that's a bit much for Wikipedia yeah thanks are thinking other thoughts how
00:26:12| looks like and this comes from spreading sexual diseases I'm like oh look at you some pink I think I think I baby whoo that's what I call it sometimes I get it every Sunday from myself you know you
00:26:28| can get a pink guy from yourself it's poor wiping do I eat cup your farts huntable right in your eye I got right there I don't know if that glass on this trip
00:26:41| you know my roommate I had a roommate once where she actually thought you could get HIV from a toilet seat and I was kind of rough eyed but then it was like what was taught at her school there
00:26:55| are so many places and so it makes sense right that people are not using protection for the right things one it's not fun like all those commercials of like it's like nothing's there's like no
00:27:07| no no need a latex there but then also if you don't have any idea if you think that literally everything is gonna get you diseases then what's the point of protecting yourself in some cases or the
00:27:20| opposite of if you have no idea that you're just going a while did not look out for yourself at all yeah other people yeah I'm just giving ahead so it doesn't
00:27:29| matter I don't ever need to get tested maybe that's the thing I worry about is not so much the practices like what they do but it's the fact that we're not pushing people to get tested
00:27:39| enough like that should be something that is an opt-out system at your physicals where they're like we just always do the little swab for one at the end okay yeah I had to actually ask for
00:27:52| one of those I was like for no reason at all I was just like I want to do that and he's like well okay and they don't like I think they only did the minimum there's like a small test that covers
00:28:02| like five but you should really be covering like ten of them and it doesn't I guess it costs money and that uh it's always about money it's I don't know it's strange but then again you don't
00:28:13| have any guidance to cuz like schools are not federally mandated to teach you sex ed in a certain way like there's no guys I was gonna say aren't they they're they're mandated to do it just there's
00:28:23| no guidelines for it you say how it works and then if you go to like a religious school the religious school will add the bias like stay abstinent like you're a piece of gum that just got
00:28:31| you you don't want to commit like adultery all sorts like it's just like scares the crap out of you by going over never are the gum one now a good piece of piece of gum or like so like if you
00:28:44| if you're a woman you're having sex this is the implication that they try to put your brain yeah they're like your gum if you have sex you no longer are chewable by other's square square square I just
00:28:59| feel like so I see what you're saying but it's bright like a one and done dude that's a one and done you can't yeah I mean there's some flavor left in the gum but can like the third time around the
00:29:10| fourth time around you don't get any joint out of the column anymore you know I really think that these rules were made by men who didn't want to face up to the fact that they weren't good in
00:29:20| bed really wives were sleeping around never slept with anyone else because all I'm hearing is like yeah the second time you cheat that gonna be good a little hard this maybe they know their wives
00:29:33| were cheating on them and this is their way of getting back at him yeah yeah the second one she always does makes her a dirty rotten piece of gum oh I think you've got an issue I think that's a
00:29:47| great insult now though you are a disgusting someone else has already chewed you goodbye mm-hmm so STD rates were actually on the decline in the United States for like
00:29:58| like 50 years straight right Oh Coachella right no until 2013 Wow I have no clue of the significance of the year she'll start we don't know that's a really good question but I feel like
00:30:11| it's oh my god cracked the code tonight since the 2013 the like 2017 like even I don't I didn't get the study from 2018 yet they haven't emailed me yet that would give me a call on my telephone
00:30:33| this is it telephone kids okay you suppose podcast comes out they do I have implants chips people be doing flying cars whatever syphilis has doubled in the United States ooh
00:30:48| syphilis now it was a lower number but I think doubling is significant gonorrhea is up 67% and chlamydia is maintaining record highs I think they report 1.7 million cases a
00:31:00| year when did tinder come out breach was just a unit valve oh I wanted something epidemiology baby really I think he did it Dan I don't give Dan credit a lot because like it's like a competition
00:31:24| thing but that's pretty good it's tinder blame tinder for all these STDs I wonder if they hold them legally responsible for spreading it to every one of these you know if it's a tinder
00:31:37| hook-up you know going into it yeah well you might not have had so many conversations like usually you left it at home a suit that's at home what you left with latex suit at home yeah no
00:31:53| what about like you're you're saying conversations that like do people I guess you bring it comes up god no you crack the door open up the chain still taut and you go how many STDs you
00:32:07| have and they say none and you open it up if they say to you just a piece of paper anyway to be totally honest like usually the people that you made off of tinder it's not like it's all the same
00:32:17| people you meet on other platforms like I think we've talked about this where it's sleazier the rate is there just blink yeah there's like lower expectations of you to be a decent human
00:32:27| plus you might not have that long of a conversation with them and someone that you've gone on two or three dates with one you don't want to have a situation with them that's really uncomfortable so
00:32:37| you don't certainly don't want to give them an STI you don't want to like you just have this connection with this perfect person at that point but also it might be more comfortable at that point
00:32:49| to say hey I have hsv-2 versus someone that you've met that afternoon and you're like well it's no apocalypse and we're all gonna die anyway it's my month that is interesting
00:33:01| I never considered that because I'm not in the online dating scene but like you're you've created a friendship to sort of or like a network connection whereas like back in the day if you met
00:33:10| at the bar you could just not go back to that bar for a while or something now you still have that online presence they kind of know who you are so like yeah there's a little more familiarity not
00:33:20| like a lot but a little more like you're mean you but like I would feel more comfortable with someone that I'd you know had a couple dates with when you get in that situation right where it's
00:33:30| like moving real fast and there's a miscommunication or something or like whoa whoa whoa we're using condoms I'm more comfortable doing that with somebody that I've had for conversations
00:33:41| with yeah like it'll come up first thing somebody you just met it might just be a I don't know what's happening make sense which like not to downplay what I'm saying because I have told this to be
00:33:56| way for and they're like that's technically rape and it is but I also don't want to be like well that would never happen because it has happened several times I it's it's just part of
00:34:09| existence like I've literally been dancing with someone before had never even turned around see them and they were like they had their hand on my leg and the next thing
00:34:19| I knew they had their fingers inside of me and so it's just like just just like the shit we get used to so I don't want to pretend like it's not a big deal because it is but at the same time I
00:34:29| don't want to not bring it up because it's a big deal I just knew shit happens like guys will put their dick in you and suddenly you've already been exposed it's already uncomfortable you just you
00:34:42| probably just want to get out of that situation so I just think we we judge people real fast about the decisions they make in an instant where they are literally underneath another person all
00:34:57| of these all these conversations around STI is I think they get really like well you know just use a condom how hard is it it's a tiny piece of rubber it's like yeah no no that's true but the
00:35:05| implications of having to like negotiate yourself out of the situation you're already in and still feel safe and comfortable you know I think we need to have better options so two things I'd
00:35:20| like to bring up one we've all seen this device okay it's condom I probably bought this exact I brought this exact one probably on this podcast like four times we're gonna do it whoa
00:35:36| yeah I only do it because I want to show everyone something very funny and you're looking in the dark you find this thing trying to find the expiration because you want it back in high school you
00:35:46| gotta check it make sure it's all in there all together 2020 we're gonna pin hole in the middle 25 that's the hottest thing you can do is rip it with your mouth right problem is if you do it in
00:35:57| the dark how am I gonna get it out I'm not gonna so now I got to do this hold on that's too small got it and then she goes okay hurry up right now you do this let's go
00:36:13| dark for you dark oh yeah come on hurry all right go put it in put it in put on then you do this you did they didn't pinched it off you got a lift and then pinch
00:36:27| as oz it was it that's where you forgot the look ahead and starts to pinch so maybe the first two times I used a condom I was very young I did this and I was like it's odd doesn't fit it doesn't
00:36:41| it doesn't work I may or may not have had sex okay without it without it we took it off and I was so proud for two to four weeks cuz I was too big for condoms look I was
00:36:56| like hey I buy the bigger ones this happens all the time because you it's dark everything's going crazy look folks flipper Pynchon you get a pinch uh yeah you're supposed to pinch it now yeah
00:37:09| yeah don't get hair in there look at that boom folks that would make a condom work can you believe that certain schools not allowed to teach maker biologists I'd
00:37:19| has to say like you don't everyone does it you don't want to flip it like I do it but technically you can get exposed that way so I don't know that anyone ever has
00:37:30| like I don't know that that is wait because you already touched your penis and then you flip it afterwards because usually there's some pre attack you micro fry biomes rates already there
00:37:41| sorry there anyway this bad boy question for you guys actually cuz this is like one of my lease are things about condoms is when dude never it's better condom in my life it's gross yeah how'd it taste
00:37:55| get it all the way a manic your throat no no no but I will I'll taste it to prove a point Oh leaves if residue oh my god you've been enlightened I
00:38:14| would never give oral sex with a condom but you've memorized his penis II there any celery like that your mouth is gonna taste like that for like a day and a half like you're how am I gonna clean
00:38:29| that to my parents oh no no they're just kissing me on the lips it's what we do every time I see my parents were Italian Nicky come kiss us we get handsy too
00:38:42| oh my god yeah and I kind of thought that was the case but now I know so you're telling me like that by the way when you take off a condom really yes dental it tastes like a rubber gloves
00:39:01| latex gloves most dentists are switching to nitrile gloves now nitrile is a much better substance but it's still MA no one's the clear or suckle on the nitrile they are pricier 1995 Oh box
00:39:17| to me but I I do have a question though like oh like much prefer when guys just prone to condom like a hundred thousand percent because I'm right they're gonna do it no no problems let's go for the
00:39:32| first show but like some guys want you to put on the condom and worse they want you to put it on with your mouth no let me do this no I don't believe is that certain schools can't teach you that
00:39:54| they can't show you putting a condom on a banana cuz it's sexually explicit yeah I know there's a couple kids at home from Kentucky watching this going to mock
00:40:07| your banana absolutely I take it right off and then just tell the girl back in the baggage that's a joke that's a joke banana put the pen in your mouth again yeah it's still gonna taste like condom
00:40:32| that's my Sheriff [Laughter] so there are teachers out there that show that activity with a sock they they roll a sock ah under their foot and pull
00:40:50| it all the way up their leg and then stick it fire they're preparing you first you're turning on all the kids from Kentucky mm-hmm I'm gonna slip it into the shoe and you're okay nice and
00:41:02| safe oh yeah it was from the heart as we say in the business where do we go from there well I have a few other crops and since we're in the middle of the episode okay
00:41:20| even with condoms certain diseases are transmissible which ones they are you'll have to find out later in the episode so there's a few things that can prevent STDs and sti's no no but I'm
00:41:40| like I wanna be no it was a horse this mandatory can this be the mandatory sex ed class okay like I wouldn't teach sex ed down when all the kids that taste a banana with a condom on crazy but let's
00:42:11| do it I do have a rule I haven't not about that but like I have a rule that no one's allowed to put anything in my ass unless I can do it back to them in some form that's a good rule yeah sure
00:42:23| you're gonna today at least stick my finger in your ass you like tinier versions of that like my hair machines is a micro machine guy given the voice-over I forget what sounds like
00:42:47| so I apologize if he's the late whatever his name is he probably tasks his point but anyway I thought I still have you practiced this more than twice practice sticking my finger in Simon Says I mean
00:42:59| yes to both questions holler holler at that he is still alive his name is John machete jr. hey still alive oh shut up big follower the podcast he's gonna be checking in tonight when a name searches
00:43:12| but he's not gonna like what he sees but what I'd like to do for everyone at home since this is like the sex ed portion mm-hmm I want to talk about things that can actually prevent STDs so number one
00:43:31| was the good old con okay you can buy these for like what are they - 15 bucks apiece right yeah a lot i final buy comes anyway like 15 bucks a pop you buy two of them 28 bucks something like that
00:43:47| and you kids a fantastic cager and real off when you go to the grocery store which makes no sense why are you preventing people from getting it easily because you don't want kids
00:43:57| the most common thing to steal it's like you should like every guy I know has stolen condoms at some point even if they didn't actually steal even they just like Nick them from the common bowl
00:44:11| at the health center they still do it and like the weird like raptor way yeah I am done with that I um I still think about the lady who rung me up at first time you bought items no first time I
00:44:29| brought pregnancy oh oh yeah the eyeball you got she's okay down for 14 ah I still think about her quick quick she was like and I bought a pack of gum to cover it up on top of the package she
00:44:46| pulls it away yeah just buying some things today man I'm 14 how are you really kind of twelve I'm eight how are you so oh no but something else you can buy
00:45:00| your local grocery stores will actually prevent pregnancy calculator you bring this on a date you're not getting pregnant you're not getting an STD you're not getting anything
00:45:11| perfect boom save you the trouble focus why cuz you're gonna calculate the cost of a child is that what no that's not why take care you know please just play
00:45:25| snake for like the whole time you could you bring this on a date ah the case that the company gives you free their head sense you're probably not gonna get an STD that night sure
00:45:39| that makes wearing stop it that's an amazing shirt it highlights my eyes which are red from pollen folks if you're wondering gagging and from gagging bring this on a date with cloves
00:45:54| hey sorry the clean of it is like work gloves blot no clean up the blood no I just said you showed up on a date with this stuff thank you like an STD from someone you killed oh by the way really
00:46:12| this is about murder you're not gonna have sexual contact with anyone no I mean like if if they're dead there's still morning yeah some work yeah I feel like a necrophiliac you still get an STD
00:46:31| close like your body's producing it it's just like housing it so you're just sort of going in there it's like when you walk through it what's the lake timeframe like the body has to like how
00:46:41| all of the body are we talking here said go away at some point probably but I mean that's some of the stuff too with like you think of Ebola like the the liquids would transmit well after they
00:46:57| had been expelled you know the difference there is that it was like transmitted differently but oh yeah gross yeah but necrophilia would would still do it so we're
00:47:15| dental dam I want someone to bring in financial van to the morgue I just have to take care of his shoe things excuse me he's like don't worry I brought something and you're like okay sir have
00:47:32| a nice day night sponge if you bring your gloves in your sponge and your you dabbled in I think you said we weren't gonna get STDs my nerdiest stuff and you guys I don't think you liked that I
00:47:51| enjoyed it mm-hmm if you bring Kohl's cash on a date probably not gonna get an STD yeah I asked $20 but if I bring that up on the date I don't think I'm getting an STD reference Knicks other friend Dan
00:48:05| the other way to not get an STD is to like Star Wars Oh actually it's the opposite now oh and now it's cool it is cool now Disney is no longer PG oh actually they did a study did you guys
00:48:22| know this prevents that CDs you can literally just pay someone enough money s CD goes away but I'm scientifically prove it so if you bring money with you you can't get an STD what the record
00:48:37| show I am you didn't say yes or no so it's yes folks you know there's kits that you can get they get sent to your home you can test for all your CDs I think they're like almost 200 bucks 250
00:48:49| bucks he'll depend so much ones like if you just want to get the basics like chlamydia gonorrhea then and that's usually what they test you for so I'm actually we're done perfectly I'm gonna
00:48:59| go get tested tomorrow morning so yeah any time I have a new sexual partner even if I've used protection I after a couple weeks we'll go get testes it's an announcement do you have
00:49:13| a new sexual partner I mean it's it's still gonna be relevant in a year oh no I mean it will it will it'll just leak if you can keep it as a reminder for me next year yeah time I got time but
00:49:36| seriously they give you shit for it like they don't mean to wait they go in and they ask well why why are you doing this and I'm like because I had sex how many STDs does that person have oh
00:49:48| let's test you and compare and see what they say when you talk to people and they say like well I trust him or I trust her I'm like okay but she trusts one other person properly he trusts one
00:50:04| other person and they trust like and there's somebody in there who trusts everybody you're doing the all it takes is one and then one knows ten and ten knows one each and one each that's all
00:50:16| you need is love it's just a Russian Roulette I think I think it's just better for I don't know like I would again like my biggest fear with just sex in general is
00:50:30| that that's not yeah hey responsible feeling a lot of people who were more selfish would say I hate that I'm gonna get an STD from someone at least your fear is that I'm responsible now I have
00:50:44| to be responsible so let's choose you're a good person maybe a low bar oh it comes me it is it's a low bar but that's alright that's good alright so sometimes in guys bathrooms
00:51:00| in the stalls we will write things about girls some of my first STD names were written on max Myers playground or like in the stalls and the bathrooms there it's pretty uh it was pretty good back
00:51:13| in the day but we would just write like it was my first drawing of a pussy it wasn't a vagina it was a it was a pussy because it had the hair on it and it had the word pussy over it and I didn't know
00:51:26| where I was looking at well it's crazy because now I'm an adult but I still write stuff on the bathroom walls cuz it's just what I was taught to do it's alright like jessica has little caramel
00:51:36| venereum I'm dull even right you know Donna is all about non-canonical urethritis Oh bitch and I was gonna do this for every SUV I could find but do you guys know how many there are a
00:51:54| couple dozen dozens let's go away Wow I think I wrote down like 18 of them there's really only like a big 10 and then everything else is like minor kind of did you guys find that yeah well like
00:52:12| it kind of depends on it's hard right it's wherever you know HIV is like the one that that rules them all one avoid that one yeah do you avoid that one um but you know forever it's been herpes
00:52:32| you know on there's HIV and then there's herpes because it's never gone away painful it's itchy it's like awful I don't I have hsv-1 I don't have HSV - maybe in a year that'll be different you
00:52:47| know me it's any person it's out there like give me you can ask if you're having sex with me not just generally please be on the streets sharing every HSB - yet in a certain in
00:53:01| the grocery store I saw you on the podcast HSV - yeah yeah so forever has been it's been herpes cuz like you can't get rid of it but now there's a bunch of like pretty good prophylactic drugs
00:53:13| where and you can keep those those outbreaks really low and it's it's not it's not that bad of diseases you could get and not get rid of that's pretty good the one that's really scary to me
00:53:24| right now is gonorrhea because a lot of that is becoming really resistant to antibiotics and so it used to be something yeah you get gonorrhea like the midea you can treat chlamydia with
00:53:34| like so many different antibiotics you pop it in committee and they give you a mini joke biome but gonorrhea is getting to the point where it's kind of scary and it shares DNA with itself pretty
00:53:49| well we could end up with situations where people are actually dying of gonorrhea Oh gonorrhea is the one that song the bacteria resistant bah-bah-bah it's
00:54:03| taking on right yeah that's where we're getting that's right yeah and that's the one you said was up by like 67 percent or something awful yes the antibacterial resistance type thing
00:54:17| yeah yeah and it's just like it's when it spreads really easily I mean like that's that's why they check for gonorrhea and chlamydia so HIV is a huge deal and nothing should ever minimize it
00:54:28| it's relatively hard to transmit compared to other users sti's this one's get the skin or whatever or is it have to be liquids I have no idea get to the mucous membrane but but ultimately
00:54:45| finish skin to skin a skin ish beyond what I found is a lot of my friends that I used to hang out with back in college were like 10 years older and liked comedy and stuff from 15 years before
00:55:00| that so like they like World War 2 jokes and stuff and the old joke was you see where I'm going who've who has passed the old joke was ah whose mom gave me the old family
00:55:11| tradition and everyone would stop and he go what's the family tradition we all go at once and that's the clap hmm gonorrhea is the clap and I was never heard that joke ever but as a kid I knew
00:55:24| what the clap was yeah because it's called the clap I've always wondered this it's chlamydia into the canopic I thought is it kind of real as a class I've heard it both ways
00:55:36| what the hell of it why is it called the class sure chlamydia punch punch punch punch hmm I don't I guess I got that wrong at my young age and no one's ever taught me
00:55:51| hey Dad what's the clap Eddie I put my don't baseball me Dad ball down and he tells you a story about you're gonna turn your head backwards sit on the chair you sit on be like well son your
00:56:08| old man was wrong it's gonorrhea Oh gonorrhea sounds rep so chlamydia but many is one that often doesn't show it's scary
00:56:17| doesn't show up in men so often and it makes women infertile yeah yeah like because if you don't get it treated so it goes up in there and gets all in your fallopian tubes and things so it was
00:56:31| like 24,000 women a year become infertile because of untreated chlamydia gonorrhea gonorrhea apparently men know about that one it's also whose rip oh yeah this is the one of the liveliest
00:56:51| charge get green whose ORS that discharge yeah George oof see that's see even me I can't do it guys we got to do it I'm gonna eat another banana I'll do a quick tangent so I was listening to a
00:57:03| podcast about it's from an HIV internist which is a specialist in internal medicine he actually said that he would take diabetes are actually he would take HIV over diabetes because HIV with the
00:57:17| drugs nowadays is completely controllable manageable and when you're on the drugs it's not transmissible either so it's pretty hundred percent she's all announced it then hmm that's
00:57:28| weird reality there you is weird it's that question of like what matters the most to you is it about like well we're not talking even more on time legal yeah if
00:57:42| morally you should I I would 100% but there's like diabetes you're never gonna give to another person you're never gonna pass a long sheet like you can still have children without being
00:57:54| worried about it so I guess this was a dude saying this yep yeah biased from the dude perspective well I think he was also thinking from a medical perspective like if it's controllable and you Liz
00:58:08| well yeah diabetes like he it affects your diet and you're not you you do more with your diet than their sex life depending on who you are probably 95% of people that's true so if
00:58:19| HIV stays as HIV which is just the viral version like affected great if you get AIDS that messes up the whole right that's just a progression so HIV starts killing up your immune cells and so
00:58:34| usually people don't die of AIDS they die of like pneumonia because you get sick with some tiny thing this is really weird so how much aids do you know research because I used to drink like a
00:58:47| year or two ago and then do like research into the like t-cell like all the different practices the t-cells and get like really deep into it yeah but it was while I was drinking and I'm
00:59:00| drinking now I'm starting to remember really in-depth weird stuff about aids and what they did to the cells and how Jesus acts is how it does sort of did it like this if there's like a reduce guy
00:59:14| who's maybe with diseases no I was just an excuse name dude oh if you had the names of the different cells that attacks in different orders in different ways there's like
00:59:23| bacteriophage t-cell and then there's like a variety yeah right it was it was there yeah yeah and there's names for the t-cells and all that yeah and I was getting real deep into it there was like
00:59:35| numbers connected I was like a t56 t-cell and I was like hell yeah I'd be drinking I'd be like what else does that mother IFRIC do and I was getting really into it and then I literally forgot
00:59:46| about that until tonight it's so weird I'm sorry that was such an aside ham sorry guys but I got deep into AIDS research one of the standards the only that eight for anyone who thinks I lost
00:59:57| that much weight one of this you did lose a lot of weight one of the stats that stood out though is he said that of anyone who books an appointment there are people that miss that appointment
01:00:08| and if a person misses appointment an appointment for HIV testing 23 percent of those people result in death from HIV because they're never treated honor so yeah a quarter of people but it
01:00:21| completely it's one for manageable another thing is that because HIV testing isn't free everywhere cost ya cd4 test donate blood to find out if they're HIV positive huh oh so
01:00:39| they will tell you that's that's pretty easy I did you go to be legal if it doesn't get all right drop like what if you have another Facebook so that's another thing is that it's in your blood
01:00:48| do you need a certain amount to get tested for if it's below that threshold where they can test it you still have it technically it's just not detectable yeah threshold is probably really low
01:00:58| they probably have to set that it's an extreme low bar I think it is pretty low I mean I don't think I don't think it's a super big issue exactly I think the issue is just getting it for free by
01:01:13| trying to donate your blood yeah it's more cost efficient than testing mm-hmm well I think that's the thing that as you know as a society we need to look at and say like okay let's say only one
01:01:26| person accidentally get got infected by HIV or or none like let's say nobody had that issue you know that's still a ton of people who are passing it on without knowing why I brought up like well was
01:01:40| that a guy who said that is that if you're a woman and you have HIV there's there's no like there's no proven or even like really tested way of making sure you don't pass it on to your future
01:01:56| so like I was crazy um what was it last year there were 918 cases of newborns in the u.s. that had syphilis yeah it's like ho see as if las' that mean sure cuz we didn't get
01:02:16| into it it's kind of one of the big five yeah because I'm easy to cure if you catch it early early but if you if it goes untreated it does awful things to your face you lose your hair your nose
01:02:30| gets eaten away yeah and you go crazy that's the big wigs like they were big wigs because they'd had a lot of sex share a lot of syphilis lose their hair and then wear a wig really I didn't
01:02:43| and that's awesome like the old dudes we'll wait wait and I had like no no's parties like they were all trying to make themselves cool after they got the disease no no's parties huh see it's
01:02:54| cool if you do that with like I don't know what does it say like a cocaine party like they're like yeah we got the ones like we got syphilis ha ha I guess both aren't really good I'm going to
01:03:07| cocaine parties were like we got a bitch alright it was I just it was Mike comes across every party let's mingle mingle different crowds you know Michael Jackson kind of foresees the whole thing
01:03:21| that'll be our new dating site will be like hey you have one disease here's another look forget about their cocaine do you like to party or do you like to party tagline party or do you like to
01:03:37| party either one sounds a little a little too extreme yeah yeah you need to be worried about those people just just like for them actually not for them I think your your jeans got tighter when
01:03:52| you said that you like to party you like to party just like see it shrink it the party party what didn't we cover I feel like there's probably though so you mentioned a word prophylaxis pretty
01:04:08| casually people differ I don't know what that means prophylaxis means basically you're taking it it's it's the opposite of like a reactionary medication where normally
01:04:25| you would take a medication once you get sick once you have symptoms prophylaxis means that you're taking it before you're trying to help prevent that illness so you would take prophylactic
01:04:39| drugs either to prevent the symptoms if you already have a disease so you might be preventing the outbreak or you're gonna be taking it when you haven't been infected
01:04:56| but you are at a risk of being infected and so what they're really trying to get people to stay away from is relying solely on those prophylactic drugs where people you know that HIV prophylactic
01:05:07| drugs are so good for drugs they're so good but now people are saying like oh they're I don't need to worry about condoms anymore because HIV won't covered I'm covered other STDs
01:05:21| you're gonna there's so many other diseases and two if you miss like a day of a things drinking alcohol other complications mmm interesting not worth it
01:05:35| I did read a story about how there's a CRISPR technique that changes woman's like cervical genetic makeup so that they now would off put pieces of proteins that then viruses and bacteria
01:05:54| would bind to many viruses would bind to so it's like a future preventative disease it's a possibility that it's like another form of prophylaxis your smile would that can be really cool be
01:06:06| interesting the season interactions there I saw someone recently it's a little tangential but bring up the idea of asking our male partners to get get their tubes tied rather than having
01:06:22| women have to get like dicks yeah get like an IUD or something like that because it's you know reversal is reversible like both are painful but one is adding hormones to our bodies for
01:06:36| like five years and every guy was like nanana Nana no no no that's not normal that's not okay and so it's always interesting when these he's like options come up where I'm just hearing it as
01:06:48| like well you can't trust someone to wear a condom so I guess you should probably change how your body functions I think it is entitlement I just think like kind of need to be better it's 2019
01:07:08| we can't come up with a good an option that's not all you need to taste better to the flavored have you like tried the flavored lubes their sleep x+ Boober and that's the strawberry flavored ones
01:07:25| they taste like blueberry it's crazy I got I got to write some letters to Trojan okay diary yeah they're terrible they just feel really does anyone enjoy those which one half are the ones they
01:07:40| make don't make any sense they're just different sensations literally it's just like shapes I think the ribs yeah yeah they have all different hot gimmicks it's it's literally just a gimmick
01:07:51| that's all it is can they make like mazes draw on it to see for place in it and turn and twist the isn't there one that measures your heart rate like a Fitbit type thing and I'm gonna Emily
01:08:20| points ahead and then like a and like how fast they were and something like that I think there is one that could be a challenge like that everyone in the office like we have in most pumps this
01:08:33| week yeah why didn't see three pumps and you were done it was Wednesday boss yeah I was just super they were big pumps yeah your flow is a little low though Nick yeah no your flow is huge Nick
01:08:51| congratulations you've won the office pool we just why only ten seconds boss I got it got work to do okay I went out and ran a mile what did you do boss that's what I was able for the record
01:09:09| I'm not a one-pump chump and for the record being thank you guys but for anyone listening in case this gets released when I'm single I can give multiple pumps okay and the condom that
01:09:24| fit on that banana barely fits on me goes to like here yeah if it's backwards it was backwards and I did figure out like a couple weeks later that I'm like normal but like like barely fits in the
01:09:40| normal condom okay this is for the record barely like I don't know what the next tier is but I'm thinking of buying them I've heard they're awful really
01:09:53| apparently cuz like you see him merely because the other ones you can put your whole arm in them but the other they're just thicker like hey I have seen one I have it's like weird it's like a sleeve
01:10:07| yeah it's like yeah mm-hmm huh so suv's whenever guys are bummed about their dick near too small that's that's what you get okay guys they gotta wear like the little like sock no they just wear a
01:10:30| sock has that ever happened do you think I guarantee that's happened somewhere but to use different like no I want a sock I have the best story uh the best it was in high school in this guy it
01:10:48| must have been like early high school but apparently and it was confirmed by the girl apparently when I went down on this girl and like he was so worried about STI is that he got saran wrap and
01:11:00| like just like and we just leaking saran wrap yeah mom man I like that that guy's got spunk and that's hmm so he can't con STD that way right Wow give him time that's a
01:11:19| that I fully endorsed the put saran wrap on women and sort of eat them out brand wrap this folks talks any like saran wrap extra smells or anything that might be coming
01:11:33| down there so there's one time what STDs one time he's getting busy with a girl and like well I guess this is almost every time so like when you get a certain distance like sometimes it's
01:11:44| off-putting so the saran wrap makes sense because then you could protect yourself from whatever you're about to get in in there with you tell my red wing suit no this
01:11:55| time I don't know maybe she did have an STI and I was like just like like once you get that close it's already a contract it's like you made the move you can't be like whoa I'd rather just do
01:12:05| it's like in my mind I'm thinking that she knows that I don't want to good point that's there is a way to back out of that what's the we don't know you just
01:12:20| pretend you're down there to like add spit I know you get it lubricated well no no no you kiss it you kiss an inch above that you kiss an inch above that and you can just keep it inching up
01:12:29| until you're all the way up and you're like I'm about alright so work your nice tight bomb and let me pull up out of the dive bump no no no I got I've moves for days you guys yeah you guys are too
01:12:41| young a lot of Mo's to get out of I have to get to work saran wrap that's nice you can imagine me use tin foil and stack that's long roll he was a god damnit let's just go and keep cool and
01:13:03| she was like - she was like throw in the microwave woman up and he just did it without thinking and then he microwaved the tinfoil it caught on fire oh I also a guy that I had dated the
01:13:14| first time just poor child he was an adult for that old romantic right yeah we were both 17 so he was 17 I actually never had sex with him but the first time he had sex he flushed the condom
01:13:32| and it seemed fine his parents came back the next day yeah and they had to call a plumber a plumber for kind of how much cum did he it got stuck in the in the tubing it was
01:13:49| like blocking up the the toilet mmm I can still taste the cop yeah no it'll be there tomorrow morning that's gross even after the oh yeah yeah condos tastes like shame because okay look I
01:14:10| need this one percent everyone should use a condom and use protection anytime they're having any sort of sex luli we 100% endorse that if anyone at home looks they just do it but when you
01:14:23| think open your mouth tastes like condom you're like I hooked up with somebody wearing writer that's the other person hey you're over 25 and you're listening and you get it what are they getting
01:14:35| it's Italian they get it oh okay forget it you don't need it and just click you need it just do it but he's making motions with his hands for the people of listening prefer for the
01:14:50| Italian listeners he's doing the throat maneuver left to right around his throat and then the throw it away doesn't fit anyway that's the Nick move that's so we covered a lot of stuff tonight guys we
01:15:10| talked about STDs sti's talk about the criminality of it no go ahead let's see what you got so if you're well fully infecting someone with HIV it's a clue is the punishment I really don't know is
01:15:24| a different state by state Vicki I mean people have been charged for attempted murder so you can be it's attempted murder by the way running right now I'm asking for a friend how many years yeah
01:15:36| and also we didn't cover my favorite one crabs I have crabs like you have crabs well no I had like two weeks ago five to 15 years
01:15:48| okay we did like a football party we got crabs what Nikki heat crab yeah we get crabs oh oh the STD and forgot crabs and pubic lice are not like crabs from the ocean oh and the clap is
01:16:08| gonorrhea apparently and the clap is gonorrhea another thing we learned tonight is that most men you know have HPV most everyone has that hold on when at war 1 & 3 maybe 1/4 or if you dated a
01:16:26| girl for a long time and you broke up with her and then you get back together with her and then you broke up with ready to go back together with her and then you broke up with her in like two
01:16:35| years later she may have slept with like two or three people in between she called you and said that she had HPV a chance it a chance at HPV what can each be because endometritis or some kind of
01:16:49| cervical cancer or some kind of something de metrio sis's yeah there you go that's possible and then they said it had to be you had to be you it was you but it wasn't and you were like a little
01:17:04| bit like I gotcha but a little bit like she in criminal everybody is HPV I don't know okay actually particles what's that I don't know what that is oh that's the the shot that like Oh most literally
01:17:30| asked about that because there's a new vaccine for right yeah so it's three it's three shots it's like the most painful shots I've ever gotten wait in dorset Freddie like a fair fight
01:17:41| on the harm but yeah I got all three shots and so I I don't think I have HPV the shots are super effective against the most common strains and those are the ones that cause cervical cancer
01:17:55| generally so unless I have a rare strain and I'm probably good on HPV school 2006 it was approved yeah I was gonna say it's a 10-year live in 2011 yeah because
01:18:13| the controversy true science order get I hate this crap should my dar get vaccinated against HPV then she's gonna go and have sexual intercourse with everyone it's like no
01:18:28| sir this is so she doesn't get HPV but thank you does not treat the existing infection all right folks let's wrap it up tonight the criminality oh I get a go give me three pumps what Jesus the
01:18:45| criminality you nan look didn't let me finish no the like usually attempted murder as you won't like I like to savor my moments last longer than three pumps so
01:18:57| the criminality is that in most cases you're like attempted murder sure has to show intent but you don't necessarily have to show intent when you're transmitting HIV to get charged with it
01:19:09| that's what I like to say so if you know you have it you're essentially committing attempted murder without sharing that information with your partner hmm same thing for the other
01:19:18| STDs is that true if you like even use a condom is it just having sex I think that's an attempt to being procedure across the room and shoot you're coming are you what your spray is is ten feet
01:19:32| long oh my god I gotta tell you guys some naturist is over it's good distance check you losing distance in time overage tell you something about losing weight
01:19:46| okay gonorrhea chlamydia syphilis mycoplasma genitalium trike oh man in the ASIS that's my favorite one yeah no one's back home uh virus everyone it's friggin loves that everyone has it it's
01:20:01| every minute recombinase oh really go yeah that might be it yet trichomonas this is my knife is one is different scabies crabs pubic lice hiv/aids herpes HSV hepatitis we didn't talk the
01:20:22| hepatitis that's one of my favorite ones hmm all these things Hank oreag ma hi tank roid I've had tank weighed six times no big deal bacterial vaginosis had it twice game
01:20:34| over molluscum contagiosum that sounds like a like a Latin like I don't know don't come in here for guys oh this is my favorite one methicillin-resistant staphylococcus
01:20:49| telly that's my man stemple snuffleupagus definitely caucus doesn't know what I said rewind the tape anyway we covered everything folks we talked to the Center
01:21:11| for Disease Control prevention in 2017 Susanna oh my god just blanked on your last name for a second episode be fine if people didn't know it so anyway check out all the stuff we do we donate to a
01:21:30| lot of charities we got a lot of different causes I know you're all busy at home you just watched for hours and the year is 2027 exist indefinitely on the internet so they could listen to it
01:21:45| much after that they can listen to it in having you I loved it we talked about all these beautiful beautiful sores that show burnt genitals I just want you to share that with your
01:21:58| family share it with your friends share it with your loved ones and for God's sake folks kiss on the lips test it everybody I just don't get tested even Nick's family whoa my family kisses on
01:22:12| the lips every time we see each other it's weird but we got to do we got to do and I'm gonna get this latex taste off my mouth so anyone else have anything to add or anything you want to plug yeah
01:22:22| you're doing any speeches anywhere are you doing anything for anyone your stare down what are you doing she says she's gonna be PhD she doctor of microbiology when it's time I mean who the hell knows
01:22:36| by the time this comes about it'll be uh I don't know yeah no I mean my my tidbit is like it's gonna be oh my the best piece of a sex advice my parents ever gave me my monkey jump ellipse she she
01:22:55| said um don't have sex with someone you're not willing to talk with and like I know it sounds like a silly thing but I really think it's true like sex can be the most awkward horrific just like
01:23:10| weird experience in like whether it's condoms being weird or like sounds or you know unexpected periods there's so many things but like trying to see the people you can talk to
01:23:25| because then you might be feel more comfortable using protection or at least knowing that they got tested so you know you don't want one night of comfort or enjoyment to mean a lot of time in
01:23:40| uncomfortable situations explaining to other people hey it's the second date I've got hsv-2 yeah nice event links reading it on the podcast who's that in any way Dan
01:23:51| anything that yeah you're gonna have nights of endless passion more than any laws allow but um Lotus song but you know it's more than just the physical or you can share physical things you can
01:24:04| share emotional things discussion that sort of stuff can get you off to to just be talk to an orgasm if you've ever experienced that no no never you yeah but there's it it's like the
01:24:26| driving purpose from when you turn 13 hit puberty and move into so when you turn priming it yeah like 14 yeah take the time to know what you're
01:24:42| getting into identify herpes on other people what other diseases they might have they like scabby just like what what is that did you get that let me swap that real quick
01:24:52| who did you have sex with previously can I get a list can I call them can I check in can I make sure they're doing okay do they have yelp review I care very
01:25:01| much about all right well thanks guys I think everyone who tuned in tonight you can check out Susanna stuff she's gonna delete it since here because she didn't make her doctorate she turned into a
01:25:14| junkie and now she just spread in whatever disease it is Brendon it for money so keep donating that blood you can also donate to me and Dan here it's syphilis duck apologize I forget our
01:25:32| patreon that you can donate we love to hear from our fans we love to hear from everyone yeah spread the word likes of everyone no more gonorrhea which is huge right now spread the word spread it
01:25:44| folks spread whatever you can whether it's scabies tank roid bacterial vaginosis you get out there and spread it most of all though get tested because we like you we like you a lot tonight
00:00:24| out my swab I gotta check your past history because I'm not sure about your STDs that's what we're gonna cover join us so I'm Dan I'm Nick Bo's for old friends dissecting one topic at a time
00:00:44| people technology media we've got it all covered grab the book each discussion here is a deep dive in or unique perspective taboo forbidden subjects they're all on the chopping block baby
00:00:57| we don't pander to popular opinion Mike and get a little bit dirty morning this podcast may contain mature language and sexual content and is for entertainment purposes only so join us have a good
00:01:11| time open up your earholes [Music] okay boom man I'm Nick folks I'm doing the old classic Nick dan and Susanna Susanna you've all known or you've all
00:01:42| seen her she's been here before folks we're back at it and this time we're gonna tackle the big issue that burning sensation when you pee mm-hmm and I'm pretty sure Nick has HPV to rhyme his
00:01:57| last sentence haha okay cuz it's been accused before we don't throw these terms around lightly I hope I hope by by me or by another lover at someone it's pretty obvious our chemistry is super
00:02:15| natural super tight Alistair for those who might not know Susanna is a biology like whiz kid oh my god wunderkind with that instead of like Susanna knows
00:02:29| like a lot she's been around she's from a mile away yeah I can tell you the science symptoms and whether they're gram negative or gram positive bacteria that gets me high I can't wait
00:02:47| actually this touches on something I did a little research there are actually communities that are into women with like sores on their body and stuff some of its like communities leper community
00:03:00| but I think some of its like maybe herpes for lady I'm serious like you can do it that's a deep rabbit hole or you're looking up leper sex well I was just doing research for this episode
00:03:10| folks but let me test Matt Carville Carville in Louisiana that's they have a small leper colony Soho that's the place with the hospital mm-hmm yeah I heard about that there's like a leper colony
00:03:21| and they all hang out in this big Hospital and no one visits someone no one leaves and it's like second Arshad and lepers interesting and we all know what happens in nursing homes
00:03:34| STDs my man's squeaky chair is key to that yes it was are we gonna talk at all about STD versus STI actually actually another reason why so STD sexually transmitted disease
00:03:52| STI sexually transmitted infection hmm I thought they were kind of interchangeable is there a reason or is it no so it's a good point so what they wanted to do with this is
00:04:05| that like you can have chlamydia but no disease right like that's pretty common in men where they they have the bacteria and they can give it to other people but they never show symptoms sorry yeah
00:04:20| you're a carrier so it's not technically a disease unless you have any symptoms that's why because people are getting kind of like oh well I haven't had any problems so why should I get tested and
00:04:31| so that was kind of a way to move into that space of like you might not have a disease but you still might be infected with something yeah nasty you need to get tested you need to bathe more mm-hmm
00:04:41| cuz that's a fact if you just bathe at cities usually wash right off yep mostly if you bathe in like it's gonna take like a week we'll hand over all your paperwork don't do that legally look
00:04:57| what you think please guide I listen to your podcast and now he's nothing but bones don't don't don't please don't douche I don't know how fast we got into this but
00:05:13| I need to be clean and your body is gonna do its best and honestly if you're like putting random liquids up their swords around we go around it's not gonna be good it's not it's gonna
00:05:26| increase your likelihood of being able to get something swirl in the old bacterial viral petri dish in there so you guys might not actually know this sti's STDs actually can come in
00:05:40| bacterial or viral form I know just blew your mind didn't it are you more familiar with the bacterial ones since I've taken classes on all of it actually so I did my undergrad at the
00:05:55| University of Iowa and I have my Bachelors of Science in microbiology so oh that's true I actually got to work on herpes virus hell yeah one of my labs that was like
00:06:06| my boyfriend was this an X an xx huh I'm sorry you meant like the strain I apologize that's actually oh yeah that would work magic would actually work but let's jump
00:06:19| to herpes I'm Tom well it depends right like one is really common but the second we'll know what I call herpes simplex come and then anymore HSV - thank you every simplex virus 1 and 2 and it's
00:06:40| worth noting that you know okay so there's a bunch of things about herpes one is that like chicken pox is a type of herpes virus it's like a whole category of virus but we're really
00:06:54| interested in these two so they named them hsv-1 and hsv-2 herpes simplex virus so basically hsv-1 at least 90% of the adult population has that it's pretty
00:07:07| commonly passed to you before you're like really even at all in adults just sharing water bottles and and kissing even it's a little lips or yeah yeah so anybody you've ever seen with like a
00:07:23| little lips or that's probably what it is whether or not they know it point to it in public and let them know I mean it's the only polite thing to do is if they don't know it could be just walking
00:07:33| around with it it's disgusting let her be so that's Ranger interface sir sorry is this herpes like what you're like herpes that is actually the best part about working with like microbiologist
00:07:51| is that when you get a herpes sore you just put medication on it you don't have to do the thing where you like put medication on it and then hide it karma like an
00:07:59| hour until it all soaked sin and it was like yeah it's herpes let's move on is it cause I remember what is that stuff called the pointment yeah Lamont that was what methods of transitions and
00:08:14| clearing your drink you can share lip all the people and get it wrong I wish I could share lip balm with people yeah the famous one yeah the time let's turn Webster or Carmack's it's either beans
00:08:27| with LIF like ciear I just makes your lips shiny yeah mm-hmm yeah no I get the knockoff brand anyway cuz it's so expensive oh like this big it's like $25 and I
00:08:40| lose it every single time and then that's some of those things that you don't want to have to go to the store to get it when you need it because you've got like I want to made our window to
00:08:49| when you're like ah it's kind of itchy oh shit that's when you got to have that on there so two things one do you have to like this type one turn in too tight too sometimes or it's a whole different
00:09:00| virus that's a good question no totally different virus okay so I don't even related to each other huh did he sue they're not related to each other it's just turn into each other so the
00:09:11| virus itself like their genes are different enough that they are they're very different and so a lot of times hsv-1 is called oral herpes those old sores
00:09:24| it is possible to get an outbreak in your genitals but basically oral herpes HSV one is really suited to being in your mouth it would rather be in your own that environment what if you know
00:09:39| sex a person with mouth for peace but you're generals were the ones that mouth herbie area yeah any event yeah and especially like the first time you get it you can definitely break out in both
00:09:49| places so but the thing is is that if you ever have something like that happen and you're not sure so if you ever think you might be exposed to herpes you definitely want to get tested just jic
00:10:04| just in case just in case just in case and then also it's like good to know but you also like nobody honestly like there's a lot of reasons to not want to get sti's but one of my biggest reasons
00:10:18| is that I dread that day of like calling people up and being like hey I've been talkin oh my god what's it been five days I just found out some bad news you might want to go I know we had great
00:10:32| coffee the name of the place Castro knows yeah they do all a great dish might have a little herpes we know get another yeah we can go yeah that's just like I don't want to do that sorry help
00:10:49| youth if you have HIV like you have to like call everyone I don't know a legal requirement to call the people that you did have sex with but if you're planing for money you have to reveal it child
00:11:01| you have to only go to you we're not gonna skip ahead but Dan relax we're not and to oh I remember number two the CBS guy or girl knows so much about you yeah I'd like to buy this preparation-h
00:11:19| it's for a friend of mine not for my hemorrhoids I'd like to buy this lip balm for herpes simplex one mind you it's for a friend of mine it's not for me you say it with a sore on
00:11:30| your face you're like I'd like to buy this extra soft toilet paper it's for a friend of mine it's not for me like you buy all your like bad stuff conversations with your like convenient
00:11:39| well I talk to everyone so if you're buying something like I have to explain it these babies to what you can't spread that yeah so I don't know like morally with things just don't be a horrible
00:12:11| person like if someone's giving you access to their body like I think that you owe it to them to just like Trina respect or as much respect as they want you know and so like I don't I don't
00:12:24| know people who are like yeah just whatever so yeah hsv-1 ninety percent of people have it okay hsv-2 I think it's like one in six even that sounds high but it is one of
00:12:39| the more common one how many how many people do you think no habit not people really like how it's gotta be oh how many do I know I'm not people that actually have it how many do you
00:12:53| think no they have it eighty sixty percent less I guess sixty to eighty maybe maybe so that's the idea of like the STI versus STD is it they really is it's men yeah like I feel like women
00:13:12| we're just so freaked out by everything down there all the time that anything goes wrong really I'm dying I'm working and go wrong do you know why huh do you know why more can go wrong with women
00:13:22| hey because of the environment down there woohoo we're talking like old lush forests beautiful rain forests it's like the heavy live organisms life force
00:13:35| young no no I kept coming up with this when it was like that uh and I actually wrote it down I was like what the hell they have cervical ectopy a lot of them a lot of what cervical it's where your
00:13:46| column your column Euler cells are exposed in the back of the cervix it's very common it's like not a natural thing but if there's no other health risk except that these cells are super
00:13:58| susceptible to be infected so that women have one extra not barrier the opposite one extra area that's very susceptible to different strains of viruses or bacteria you type it into any electrical
00:14:10| pathway yeah so plus they have like some nice warm breeding ground II area the guys don't have as large it's true and it's true and also you think of transmission of
00:14:25| fluids it's going in one direction usually or in one direction but the band One Direction women love yeah women love to get STDs to some of their fit their big hits I
00:14:39| can't get into all of them because I don't know all their hits but you're probably right like what is the transmission rate adoring one perfection concerts
00:14:51| did you guys see the Coachella thing no I didn't know Coachella is in town I guess just came out pretty day ahh so we're talking about herpes Coachella is in town I guess this weekend this
00:15:06| will be released a year afterwards so perfect coach he'll be back in town yeah they usually see around 120 or 100 cases in a week or something in Southern California where this area is of new
00:15:21| outbreaks that they determine our herpes they noticed a two thousand and eighty three percent increase in herpes cases in the surrounding three or four hospitals in the area they've pronounced
00:15:37| past week and they're sure it's related to Coachella so huh Coachella go get you some epidemiology dream like holidays like random statistics and matching it with Coachella they're just one running
00:15:49| around swabbing so yeah concerts every can do it I guess I do want to like it's so funny the way that we treat STI is right like so I bring up the fact that herpes like chickenpox is a herpes virus
00:16:05| right like varicella-zoster people are proud of it worse me to get chickenpox when I was younger I think that was the goal no no one knows yet I'm that one guy you know it's like well you get
00:16:31| chickenpox like somebody gets chickenpox really wow that sucks like oh those are even proud of it it's like the Oscars it looks like I got chickenpox now it's like ya got her
00:16:40| has to stake my oh my god yeah well it's just like you know any cold we get it's because we've shared space with somebody I understands the sex part but it's really interesting to me that like still
00:16:51| in this day and age we're fucking everyone fucks everyone you know that's not exactly true but a lot of people are having science it's like it sells music it's it's everywhere that we still have
00:17:09| this idea of like the unclean person or especially the unclean woman it's it's coming it's because of sex again for the exact same reasons that we kind of just discuss cuz you know but what's weird is
00:17:20| I'm not usually like that but even when I was googling these things and writing things down and everything they skied me for some reason but I'm also like yes Keef steeped out I'll creep down yeah
00:17:35| okay 2019 or 2020 when this is released yeah but um no like something about um genital injuries really it's like you know something's give you the weird feelings well like a kick to the balls
00:17:52| or like scraping metal on like a metal fork on the bottom of a metal bowl mine is a slamming fingers and doors I can't even think about it like I have to exit so weird cuz I don't think about it ever
00:18:03| but yeah that's I see what you're saying you ever um do you guys hold on to your phone or whatever you have in your hands really tight when you step out of an elevator because that tiny little gap no
00:18:14| I swear to god no I look down I'll be like don't drop it don't drop it don't drop it and I currently like walk over it in a way that I will not drop that phone which has a one a billion chance
00:18:23| of actually falling perfectly fitting through that which it probably doesn't even fit but and that's something you can see you can well it's a good point side to avoid it yeah that's why I take
00:18:35| the stairs now I've gotten in great physical shape than just taking the stairs folks just take the stairs you lose weight automatically I'm hot boom there you go but there are no well are
00:18:46| there stairs in this case like what what would be the analogy the spheres Oh safe sex opportunity condoms abstinence saving yourself for marriage dental dams you
00:18:59| see save yourself for Jesus I don't I've always heard like you're supposed to and such I wanna see this for the end because I had some problems if I had thought about it before tonight I mean
00:19:14| if I was doing other things I would have went to the store and bought a dental dam like anyway we'll get into that so I'm on a college campus you can get like all they have dental dams what just
00:19:26| laying around a skit yeah essentially I got one one time and I just cuz I was just like what is it I was like it's a giant condom like that's all it is and I kind of I gotta say like part of it I
00:19:37| like the idea like honestly if they can create a dental dam that you could put in at the start of the night and just not worry about it that would be ideal like I don't know
00:19:49| that we work mmm I don't know cuz I mean the issue is like right so women are more susceptible the other thing too is that this has happening more than a couple times where
00:20:04| you're messing around with a guy and suddenly his dicks inside you and then you've got this situation where like what do you do be like back like I mean what you can and probably should do is
00:20:17| be like stop we need to prove something we got something we got to do there's a protection for words we should allow yeah oh and now your test but wait a few weeks get it back no you're right who's
00:20:30| going to the heat of the moment stuff's going off and part of forms now like if you go to like mass comm does it ask you if you have STDs there's like I know there's a was that website for meeting
00:20:44| hiv-positive it was like be positive something so that's different because the legal requirement to announce that before him mmm no if the onus on the website to ask but
00:20:58| not intended for this be exactly because there's an earnest twice to got more great cuz like yeah if it's one in six or so and you've dated twenty people made at least three people who that
00:21:16| happen st day or have had an st day oh no it's I think it's higher or how many have had well it's still like herpes is one in six have at the time well you never get rid of herpes is that
00:21:31| no is its viral no way but then it'll be visit to the viral like are the viral ones the ones are kind of sitting around hanging on your new have differently so it stays actually in in your body it
00:21:44| stays in your cells it actually becomes part like it stays in yourselves so you just carry the herpes with you everywhere so sweet viruses like the cold
00:21:55| it attacks yourselves but it doesn't it's not gonna stay in your cells but herpes once it's in it is in you can't get it out swim with HIV like so someone anyone who ever has gotten her these has
00:22:09| herpes that's why it's a higher number as it is yeah exactly it's like don't forget it once you're done right beyond where my studies came that young people aged 15
00:22:25| to 24 are responsible for 50 percent of all new cases of STDs it has TSX herpes is a one in thirteen from the Taliban site yeah well it's just one disease and that's also just
00:22:40| one website yes yeah it depends so at 18 did what age 34 24 a no 15 to 24 15 to also think of this well so there's a reason for this they think that um 15 to guardianship so if you went to go take a
00:23:04| test a you need to sign all your paper over your parents mail and results to your parents be you're probably not gonna go at sixteen by yourself to the like to get tested
00:23:16| you know what I mean that's please scary cost money you don't have a unit it goes money you don't have it's scary probably can't even drive yet you know you're 16 you just like I gotta
00:23:25| get tested you're not gonna ask your parents for that reason you're very scared and then there's misinformation at that age and then on top of that there's a Chinese illumos running around
00:23:34| hell yeah so it's like a combination of crazy stuff going on it's like the Wild West it's like it's the damnedest time you gotta be careful I don't know that I know for me the first time I had sex I
00:23:46| was not thinking about anything else other than having sex so it was like yeah it's not like you're like you're like I think about the wreck come my Excel spreadsheet out let's go
00:23:55| over the checklist make sure it's okay well any other thing to that no one like no one talks about that much and I don't know very many people who actually take it into account is that like oral sex
00:24:12| spreads Davina's you can get oral sex yeah oh my goodness gentle to metal mouth to genital hand mouth and I melt the ass analingus anilingus asta knows everyone
00:24:32| checks out the Wikipedia edge for anilingus because the picture go ahead what is it it's a it's kind of erotic even though it's a cartoon has good shading on it are they doing like a all
00:24:46| into it I think it's just our podcast they click on this I guess I can I think you can I don't know anyway Tom 70% of all syphilis is actually transferred in the homosexual community men to men and
00:25:02| it's because of oral sex they said so like different groups are at different danger rates because of just practices certain things travel better vaginal - penal anal - mouth mouth - penis I just
00:25:17| want to say all those terms I had a I didn't have stats on those but like you think about it depending on your gender and your practices and here you're gonna with you have different
00:25:29| different rates for what you can get percentages I'm gonna cover Nick's mace with this image this is for the podcast viewers don't forget to take it down sometimes he forgets to take down an
00:25:41| image and if it's up there for the rest of the episodes I'm a good boy that's pretty hot there you go there's a quick shot I'm gonna show you guys and say okay I can't it's still over my face
00:25:56| look I mean a Lingus where's that oh that's really great oh yeah yep oh wow that's a bit much for Wikipedia yeah thanks are thinking other thoughts how
00:26:12| looks like and this comes from spreading sexual diseases I'm like oh look at you some pink I think I think I baby whoo that's what I call it sometimes I get it every Sunday from myself you know you
00:26:28| can get a pink guy from yourself it's poor wiping do I eat cup your farts huntable right in your eye I got right there I don't know if that glass on this trip
00:26:41| you know my roommate I had a roommate once where she actually thought you could get HIV from a toilet seat and I was kind of rough eyed but then it was like what was taught at her school there
00:26:55| are so many places and so it makes sense right that people are not using protection for the right things one it's not fun like all those commercials of like it's like nothing's there's like no
00:27:07| no no need a latex there but then also if you don't have any idea if you think that literally everything is gonna get you diseases then what's the point of protecting yourself in some cases or the
00:27:20| opposite of if you have no idea that you're just going a while did not look out for yourself at all yeah other people yeah I'm just giving ahead so it doesn't
00:27:29| matter I don't ever need to get tested maybe that's the thing I worry about is not so much the practices like what they do but it's the fact that we're not pushing people to get tested
00:27:39| enough like that should be something that is an opt-out system at your physicals where they're like we just always do the little swab for one at the end okay yeah I had to actually ask for
00:27:52| one of those I was like for no reason at all I was just like I want to do that and he's like well okay and they don't like I think they only did the minimum there's like a small test that covers
00:28:02| like five but you should really be covering like ten of them and it doesn't I guess it costs money and that uh it's always about money it's I don't know it's strange but then again you don't
00:28:13| have any guidance to cuz like schools are not federally mandated to teach you sex ed in a certain way like there's no guys I was gonna say aren't they they're they're mandated to do it just there's
00:28:23| no guidelines for it you say how it works and then if you go to like a religious school the religious school will add the bias like stay abstinent like you're a piece of gum that just got
00:28:31| you you don't want to commit like adultery all sorts like it's just like scares the crap out of you by going over never are the gum one now a good piece of piece of gum or like so like if you
00:28:44| if you're a woman you're having sex this is the implication that they try to put your brain yeah they're like your gum if you have sex you no longer are chewable by other's square square square I just
00:28:59| feel like so I see what you're saying but it's bright like a one and done dude that's a one and done you can't yeah I mean there's some flavor left in the gum but can like the third time around the
00:29:10| fourth time around you don't get any joint out of the column anymore you know I really think that these rules were made by men who didn't want to face up to the fact that they weren't good in
00:29:20| bed really wives were sleeping around never slept with anyone else because all I'm hearing is like yeah the second time you cheat that gonna be good a little hard this maybe they know their wives
00:29:33| were cheating on them and this is their way of getting back at him yeah yeah the second one she always does makes her a dirty rotten piece of gum oh I think you've got an issue I think that's a
00:29:47| great insult now though you are a disgusting someone else has already chewed you goodbye mm-hmm so STD rates were actually on the decline in the United States for like
00:29:58| like 50 years straight right Oh Coachella right no until 2013 Wow I have no clue of the significance of the year she'll start we don't know that's a really good question but I feel like
00:30:11| it's oh my god cracked the code tonight since the 2013 the like 2017 like even I don't I didn't get the study from 2018 yet they haven't emailed me yet that would give me a call on my telephone
00:30:33| this is it telephone kids okay you suppose podcast comes out they do I have implants chips people be doing flying cars whatever syphilis has doubled in the United States ooh
00:30:48| syphilis now it was a lower number but I think doubling is significant gonorrhea is up 67% and chlamydia is maintaining record highs I think they report 1.7 million cases a
00:31:00| year when did tinder come out breach was just a unit valve oh I wanted something epidemiology baby really I think he did it Dan I don't give Dan credit a lot because like it's like a competition
00:31:24| thing but that's pretty good it's tinder blame tinder for all these STDs I wonder if they hold them legally responsible for spreading it to every one of these you know if it's a tinder
00:31:37| hook-up you know going into it yeah well you might not have had so many conversations like usually you left it at home a suit that's at home what you left with latex suit at home yeah no
00:31:53| what about like you're you're saying conversations that like do people I guess you bring it comes up god no you crack the door open up the chain still taut and you go how many STDs you
00:32:07| have and they say none and you open it up if they say to you just a piece of paper anyway to be totally honest like usually the people that you made off of tinder it's not like it's all the same
00:32:17| people you meet on other platforms like I think we've talked about this where it's sleazier the rate is there just blink yeah there's like lower expectations of you to be a decent human
00:32:27| plus you might not have that long of a conversation with them and someone that you've gone on two or three dates with one you don't want to have a situation with them that's really uncomfortable so
00:32:37| you don't certainly don't want to give them an STI you don't want to like you just have this connection with this perfect person at that point but also it might be more comfortable at that point
00:32:49| to say hey I have hsv-2 versus someone that you've met that afternoon and you're like well it's no apocalypse and we're all gonna die anyway it's my month that is interesting
00:33:01| I never considered that because I'm not in the online dating scene but like you're you've created a friendship to sort of or like a network connection whereas like back in the day if you met
00:33:10| at the bar you could just not go back to that bar for a while or something now you still have that online presence they kind of know who you are so like yeah there's a little more familiarity not
00:33:20| like a lot but a little more like you're mean you but like I would feel more comfortable with someone that I'd you know had a couple dates with when you get in that situation right where it's
00:33:30| like moving real fast and there's a miscommunication or something or like whoa whoa whoa we're using condoms I'm more comfortable doing that with somebody that I've had for conversations
00:33:41| with yeah like it'll come up first thing somebody you just met it might just be a I don't know what's happening make sense which like not to downplay what I'm saying because I have told this to be
00:33:56| way for and they're like that's technically rape and it is but I also don't want to be like well that would never happen because it has happened several times I it's it's just part of
00:34:09| existence like I've literally been dancing with someone before had never even turned around see them and they were like they had their hand on my leg and the next thing
00:34:19| I knew they had their fingers inside of me and so it's just like just just like the shit we get used to so I don't want to pretend like it's not a big deal because it is but at the same time I
00:34:29| don't want to not bring it up because it's a big deal I just knew shit happens like guys will put their dick in you and suddenly you've already been exposed it's already uncomfortable you just you
00:34:42| probably just want to get out of that situation so I just think we we judge people real fast about the decisions they make in an instant where they are literally underneath another person all
00:34:57| of these all these conversations around STI is I think they get really like well you know just use a condom how hard is it it's a tiny piece of rubber it's like yeah no no that's true but the
00:35:05| implications of having to like negotiate yourself out of the situation you're already in and still feel safe and comfortable you know I think we need to have better options so two things I'd
00:35:20| like to bring up one we've all seen this device okay it's condom I probably bought this exact I brought this exact one probably on this podcast like four times we're gonna do it whoa
00:35:36| yeah I only do it because I want to show everyone something very funny and you're looking in the dark you find this thing trying to find the expiration because you want it back in high school you
00:35:46| gotta check it make sure it's all in there all together 2020 we're gonna pin hole in the middle 25 that's the hottest thing you can do is rip it with your mouth right problem is if you do it in
00:35:57| the dark how am I gonna get it out I'm not gonna so now I got to do this hold on that's too small got it and then she goes okay hurry up right now you do this let's go
00:36:13| dark for you dark oh yeah come on hurry all right go put it in put it in put on then you do this you did they didn't pinched it off you got a lift and then pinch
00:36:27| as oz it was it that's where you forgot the look ahead and starts to pinch so maybe the first two times I used a condom I was very young I did this and I was like it's odd doesn't fit it doesn't
00:36:41| it doesn't work I may or may not have had sex okay without it without it we took it off and I was so proud for two to four weeks cuz I was too big for condoms look I was
00:36:56| like hey I buy the bigger ones this happens all the time because you it's dark everything's going crazy look folks flipper Pynchon you get a pinch uh yeah you're supposed to pinch it now yeah
00:37:09| yeah don't get hair in there look at that boom folks that would make a condom work can you believe that certain schools not allowed to teach maker biologists I'd
00:37:19| has to say like you don't everyone does it you don't want to flip it like I do it but technically you can get exposed that way so I don't know that anyone ever has
00:37:30| like I don't know that that is wait because you already touched your penis and then you flip it afterwards because usually there's some pre attack you micro fry biomes rates already there
00:37:41| sorry there anyway this bad boy question for you guys actually cuz this is like one of my lease are things about condoms is when dude never it's better condom in my life it's gross yeah how'd it taste
00:37:55| get it all the way a manic your throat no no no but I will I'll taste it to prove a point Oh leaves if residue oh my god you've been enlightened I
00:38:14| would never give oral sex with a condom but you've memorized his penis II there any celery like that your mouth is gonna taste like that for like a day and a half like you're how am I gonna clean
00:38:29| that to my parents oh no no they're just kissing me on the lips it's what we do every time I see my parents were Italian Nicky come kiss us we get handsy too
00:38:42| oh my god yeah and I kind of thought that was the case but now I know so you're telling me like that by the way when you take off a condom really yes dental it tastes like a rubber gloves
00:39:01| latex gloves most dentists are switching to nitrile gloves now nitrile is a much better substance but it's still MA no one's the clear or suckle on the nitrile they are pricier 1995 Oh box
00:39:17| to me but I I do have a question though like oh like much prefer when guys just prone to condom like a hundred thousand percent because I'm right they're gonna do it no no problems let's go for the
00:39:32| first show but like some guys want you to put on the condom and worse they want you to put it on with your mouth no let me do this no I don't believe is that certain schools can't teach you that
00:39:54| they can't show you putting a condom on a banana cuz it's sexually explicit yeah I know there's a couple kids at home from Kentucky watching this going to mock
00:40:07| your banana absolutely I take it right off and then just tell the girl back in the baggage that's a joke that's a joke banana put the pen in your mouth again yeah it's still gonna taste like condom
00:40:32| that's my Sheriff [Laughter] so there are teachers out there that show that activity with a sock they they roll a sock ah under their foot and pull
00:40:50| it all the way up their leg and then stick it fire they're preparing you first you're turning on all the kids from Kentucky mm-hmm I'm gonna slip it into the shoe and you're okay nice and
00:41:02| safe oh yeah it was from the heart as we say in the business where do we go from there well I have a few other crops and since we're in the middle of the episode okay
00:41:20| even with condoms certain diseases are transmissible which ones they are you'll have to find out later in the episode so there's a few things that can prevent STDs and sti's no no but I'm
00:41:40| like I wanna be no it was a horse this mandatory can this be the mandatory sex ed class okay like I wouldn't teach sex ed down when all the kids that taste a banana with a condom on crazy but let's
00:42:11| do it I do have a rule I haven't not about that but like I have a rule that no one's allowed to put anything in my ass unless I can do it back to them in some form that's a good rule yeah sure
00:42:23| you're gonna today at least stick my finger in your ass you like tinier versions of that like my hair machines is a micro machine guy given the voice-over I forget what sounds like
00:42:47| so I apologize if he's the late whatever his name is he probably tasks his point but anyway I thought I still have you practiced this more than twice practice sticking my finger in Simon Says I mean
00:42:59| yes to both questions holler holler at that he is still alive his name is John machete jr. hey still alive oh shut up big follower the podcast he's gonna be checking in tonight when a name searches
00:43:12| but he's not gonna like what he sees but what I'd like to do for everyone at home since this is like the sex ed portion mm-hmm I want to talk about things that can actually prevent STDs so number one
00:43:31| was the good old con okay you can buy these for like what are they - 15 bucks apiece right yeah a lot i final buy comes anyway like 15 bucks a pop you buy two of them 28 bucks something like that
00:43:47| and you kids a fantastic cager and real off when you go to the grocery store which makes no sense why are you preventing people from getting it easily because you don't want kids
00:43:57| the most common thing to steal it's like you should like every guy I know has stolen condoms at some point even if they didn't actually steal even they just like Nick them from the common bowl
00:44:11| at the health center they still do it and like the weird like raptor way yeah I am done with that I um I still think about the lady who rung me up at first time you bought items no first time I
00:44:29| brought pregnancy oh oh yeah the eyeball you got she's okay down for 14 ah I still think about her quick quick she was like and I bought a pack of gum to cover it up on top of the package she
00:44:46| pulls it away yeah just buying some things today man I'm 14 how are you really kind of twelve I'm eight how are you so oh no but something else you can buy
00:45:00| your local grocery stores will actually prevent pregnancy calculator you bring this on a date you're not getting pregnant you're not getting an STD you're not getting anything
00:45:11| perfect boom save you the trouble focus why cuz you're gonna calculate the cost of a child is that what no that's not why take care you know please just play
00:45:25| snake for like the whole time you could you bring this on a date ah the case that the company gives you free their head sense you're probably not gonna get an STD that night sure
00:45:39| that makes wearing stop it that's an amazing shirt it highlights my eyes which are red from pollen folks if you're wondering gagging and from gagging bring this on a date with cloves
00:45:54| hey sorry the clean of it is like work gloves blot no clean up the blood no I just said you showed up on a date with this stuff thank you like an STD from someone you killed oh by the way really
00:46:12| this is about murder you're not gonna have sexual contact with anyone no I mean like if if they're dead there's still morning yeah some work yeah I feel like a necrophiliac you still get an STD
00:46:31| close like your body's producing it it's just like housing it so you're just sort of going in there it's like when you walk through it what's the lake timeframe like the body has to like how
00:46:41| all of the body are we talking here said go away at some point probably but I mean that's some of the stuff too with like you think of Ebola like the the liquids would transmit well after they
00:46:57| had been expelled you know the difference there is that it was like transmitted differently but oh yeah gross yeah but necrophilia would would still do it so we're
00:47:15| dental dam I want someone to bring in financial van to the morgue I just have to take care of his shoe things excuse me he's like don't worry I brought something and you're like okay sir have
00:47:32| a nice day night sponge if you bring your gloves in your sponge and your you dabbled in I think you said we weren't gonna get STDs my nerdiest stuff and you guys I don't think you liked that I
00:47:51| enjoyed it mm-hmm if you bring Kohl's cash on a date probably not gonna get an STD yeah I asked $20 but if I bring that up on the date I don't think I'm getting an STD reference Knicks other friend Dan
00:48:05| the other way to not get an STD is to like Star Wars Oh actually it's the opposite now oh and now it's cool it is cool now Disney is no longer PG oh actually they did a study did you guys
00:48:22| know this prevents that CDs you can literally just pay someone enough money s CD goes away but I'm scientifically prove it so if you bring money with you you can't get an STD what the record
00:48:37| show I am you didn't say yes or no so it's yes folks you know there's kits that you can get they get sent to your home you can test for all your CDs I think they're like almost 200 bucks 250
00:48:49| bucks he'll depend so much ones like if you just want to get the basics like chlamydia gonorrhea then and that's usually what they test you for so I'm actually we're done perfectly I'm gonna
00:48:59| go get tested tomorrow morning so yeah any time I have a new sexual partner even if I've used protection I after a couple weeks we'll go get testes it's an announcement do you have
00:49:13| a new sexual partner I mean it's it's still gonna be relevant in a year oh no I mean it will it will it'll just leak if you can keep it as a reminder for me next year yeah time I got time but
00:49:36| seriously they give you shit for it like they don't mean to wait they go in and they ask well why why are you doing this and I'm like because I had sex how many STDs does that person have oh
00:49:48| let's test you and compare and see what they say when you talk to people and they say like well I trust him or I trust her I'm like okay but she trusts one other person properly he trusts one
00:50:04| other person and they trust like and there's somebody in there who trusts everybody you're doing the all it takes is one and then one knows ten and ten knows one each and one each that's all
00:50:16| you need is love it's just a Russian Roulette I think I think it's just better for I don't know like I would again like my biggest fear with just sex in general is
00:50:30| that that's not yeah hey responsible feeling a lot of people who were more selfish would say I hate that I'm gonna get an STD from someone at least your fear is that I'm responsible now I have
00:50:44| to be responsible so let's choose you're a good person maybe a low bar oh it comes me it is it's a low bar but that's alright that's good alright so sometimes in guys bathrooms
00:51:00| in the stalls we will write things about girls some of my first STD names were written on max Myers playground or like in the stalls and the bathrooms there it's pretty uh it was pretty good back
00:51:13| in the day but we would just write like it was my first drawing of a pussy it wasn't a vagina it was a it was a pussy because it had the hair on it and it had the word pussy over it and I didn't know
00:51:26| where I was looking at well it's crazy because now I'm an adult but I still write stuff on the bathroom walls cuz it's just what I was taught to do it's alright like jessica has little caramel
00:51:36| venereum I'm dull even right you know Donna is all about non-canonical urethritis Oh bitch and I was gonna do this for every SUV I could find but do you guys know how many there are a
00:51:54| couple dozen dozens let's go away Wow I think I wrote down like 18 of them there's really only like a big 10 and then everything else is like minor kind of did you guys find that yeah well like
00:52:12| it kind of depends on it's hard right it's wherever you know HIV is like the one that that rules them all one avoid that one yeah do you avoid that one um but you know forever it's been herpes
00:52:32| you know on there's HIV and then there's herpes because it's never gone away painful it's itchy it's like awful I don't I have hsv-1 I don't have HSV - maybe in a year that'll be different you
00:52:47| know me it's any person it's out there like give me you can ask if you're having sex with me not just generally please be on the streets sharing every HSB - yet in a certain in
00:53:01| the grocery store I saw you on the podcast HSV - yeah yeah so forever has been it's been herpes cuz like you can't get rid of it but now there's a bunch of like pretty good prophylactic drugs
00:53:13| where and you can keep those those outbreaks really low and it's it's not it's not that bad of diseases you could get and not get rid of that's pretty good the one that's really scary to me
00:53:24| right now is gonorrhea because a lot of that is becoming really resistant to antibiotics and so it used to be something yeah you get gonorrhea like the midea you can treat chlamydia with
00:53:34| like so many different antibiotics you pop it in committee and they give you a mini joke biome but gonorrhea is getting to the point where it's kind of scary and it shares DNA with itself pretty
00:53:49| well we could end up with situations where people are actually dying of gonorrhea Oh gonorrhea is the one that song the bacteria resistant bah-bah-bah it's
00:54:03| taking on right yeah that's where we're getting that's right yeah and that's the one you said was up by like 67 percent or something awful yes the antibacterial resistance type thing
00:54:17| yeah yeah and it's just like it's when it spreads really easily I mean like that's that's why they check for gonorrhea and chlamydia so HIV is a huge deal and nothing should ever minimize it
00:54:28| it's relatively hard to transmit compared to other users sti's this one's get the skin or whatever or is it have to be liquids I have no idea get to the mucous membrane but but ultimately
00:54:45| finish skin to skin a skin ish beyond what I found is a lot of my friends that I used to hang out with back in college were like 10 years older and liked comedy and stuff from 15 years before
00:55:00| that so like they like World War 2 jokes and stuff and the old joke was you see where I'm going who've who has passed the old joke was ah whose mom gave me the old family
00:55:11| tradition and everyone would stop and he go what's the family tradition we all go at once and that's the clap hmm gonorrhea is the clap and I was never heard that joke ever but as a kid I knew
00:55:24| what the clap was yeah because it's called the clap I've always wondered this it's chlamydia into the canopic I thought is it kind of real as a class I've heard it both ways
00:55:36| what the hell of it why is it called the class sure chlamydia punch punch punch punch hmm I don't I guess I got that wrong at my young age and no one's ever taught me
00:55:51| hey Dad what's the clap Eddie I put my don't baseball me Dad ball down and he tells you a story about you're gonna turn your head backwards sit on the chair you sit on be like well son your
00:56:08| old man was wrong it's gonorrhea Oh gonorrhea sounds rep so chlamydia but many is one that often doesn't show it's scary
00:56:17| doesn't show up in men so often and it makes women infertile yeah yeah like because if you don't get it treated so it goes up in there and gets all in your fallopian tubes and things so it was
00:56:31| like 24,000 women a year become infertile because of untreated chlamydia gonorrhea gonorrhea apparently men know about that one it's also whose rip oh yeah this is the one of the liveliest
00:56:51| charge get green whose ORS that discharge yeah George oof see that's see even me I can't do it guys we got to do it I'm gonna eat another banana I'll do a quick tangent so I was listening to a
00:57:03| podcast about it's from an HIV internist which is a specialist in internal medicine he actually said that he would take diabetes are actually he would take HIV over diabetes because HIV with the
00:57:17| drugs nowadays is completely controllable manageable and when you're on the drugs it's not transmissible either so it's pretty hundred percent she's all announced it then hmm that's
00:57:28| weird reality there you is weird it's that question of like what matters the most to you is it about like well we're not talking even more on time legal yeah if
00:57:42| morally you should I I would 100% but there's like diabetes you're never gonna give to another person you're never gonna pass a long sheet like you can still have children without being
00:57:54| worried about it so I guess this was a dude saying this yep yeah biased from the dude perspective well I think he was also thinking from a medical perspective like if it's controllable and you Liz
00:58:08| well yeah diabetes like he it affects your diet and you're not you you do more with your diet than their sex life depending on who you are probably 95% of people that's true so if
00:58:19| HIV stays as HIV which is just the viral version like affected great if you get AIDS that messes up the whole right that's just a progression so HIV starts killing up your immune cells and so
00:58:34| usually people don't die of AIDS they die of like pneumonia because you get sick with some tiny thing this is really weird so how much aids do you know research because I used to drink like a
00:58:47| year or two ago and then do like research into the like t-cell like all the different practices the t-cells and get like really deep into it yeah but it was while I was drinking and I'm
00:59:00| drinking now I'm starting to remember really in-depth weird stuff about aids and what they did to the cells and how Jesus acts is how it does sort of did it like this if there's like a reduce guy
00:59:14| who's maybe with diseases no I was just an excuse name dude oh if you had the names of the different cells that attacks in different orders in different ways there's like
00:59:23| bacteriophage t-cell and then there's like a variety yeah right it was it was there yeah yeah and there's names for the t-cells and all that yeah and I was getting real deep into it there was like
00:59:35| numbers connected I was like a t56 t-cell and I was like hell yeah I'd be drinking I'd be like what else does that mother IFRIC do and I was getting really into it and then I literally forgot
00:59:46| about that until tonight it's so weird I'm sorry that was such an aside ham sorry guys but I got deep into AIDS research one of the standards the only that eight for anyone who thinks I lost
00:59:57| that much weight one of this you did lose a lot of weight one of the stats that stood out though is he said that of anyone who books an appointment there are people that miss that appointment
01:00:08| and if a person misses appointment an appointment for HIV testing 23 percent of those people result in death from HIV because they're never treated honor so yeah a quarter of people but it
01:00:21| completely it's one for manageable another thing is that because HIV testing isn't free everywhere cost ya cd4 test donate blood to find out if they're HIV positive huh oh so
01:00:39| they will tell you that's that's pretty easy I did you go to be legal if it doesn't get all right drop like what if you have another Facebook so that's another thing is that it's in your blood
01:00:48| do you need a certain amount to get tested for if it's below that threshold where they can test it you still have it technically it's just not detectable yeah threshold is probably really low
01:00:58| they probably have to set that it's an extreme low bar I think it is pretty low I mean I don't think I don't think it's a super big issue exactly I think the issue is just getting it for free by
01:01:13| trying to donate your blood yeah it's more cost efficient than testing mm-hmm well I think that's the thing that as you know as a society we need to look at and say like okay let's say only one
01:01:26| person accidentally get got infected by HIV or or none like let's say nobody had that issue you know that's still a ton of people who are passing it on without knowing why I brought up like well was
01:01:40| that a guy who said that is that if you're a woman and you have HIV there's there's no like there's no proven or even like really tested way of making sure you don't pass it on to your future
01:01:56| so like I was crazy um what was it last year there were 918 cases of newborns in the u.s. that had syphilis yeah it's like ho see as if las' that mean sure cuz we didn't get
01:02:16| into it it's kind of one of the big five yeah because I'm easy to cure if you catch it early early but if you if it goes untreated it does awful things to your face you lose your hair your nose
01:02:30| gets eaten away yeah and you go crazy that's the big wigs like they were big wigs because they'd had a lot of sex share a lot of syphilis lose their hair and then wear a wig really I didn't
01:02:43| and that's awesome like the old dudes we'll wait wait and I had like no no's parties like they were all trying to make themselves cool after they got the disease no no's parties huh see it's
01:02:54| cool if you do that with like I don't know what does it say like a cocaine party like they're like yeah we got the ones like we got syphilis ha ha I guess both aren't really good I'm going to
01:03:07| cocaine parties were like we got a bitch alright it was I just it was Mike comes across every party let's mingle mingle different crowds you know Michael Jackson kind of foresees the whole thing
01:03:21| that'll be our new dating site will be like hey you have one disease here's another look forget about their cocaine do you like to party or do you like to party tagline party or do you like to
01:03:37| party either one sounds a little a little too extreme yeah yeah you need to be worried about those people just just like for them actually not for them I think your your jeans got tighter when
01:03:52| you said that you like to party you like to party just like see it shrink it the party party what didn't we cover I feel like there's probably though so you mentioned a word prophylaxis pretty
01:04:08| casually people differ I don't know what that means prophylaxis means basically you're taking it it's it's the opposite of like a reactionary medication where normally
01:04:25| you would take a medication once you get sick once you have symptoms prophylaxis means that you're taking it before you're trying to help prevent that illness so you would take prophylactic
01:04:39| drugs either to prevent the symptoms if you already have a disease so you might be preventing the outbreak or you're gonna be taking it when you haven't been infected
01:04:56| but you are at a risk of being infected and so what they're really trying to get people to stay away from is relying solely on those prophylactic drugs where people you know that HIV prophylactic
01:05:07| drugs are so good for drugs they're so good but now people are saying like oh they're I don't need to worry about condoms anymore because HIV won't covered I'm covered other STDs
01:05:21| you're gonna there's so many other diseases and two if you miss like a day of a things drinking alcohol other complications mmm interesting not worth it
01:05:35| I did read a story about how there's a CRISPR technique that changes woman's like cervical genetic makeup so that they now would off put pieces of proteins that then viruses and bacteria
01:05:54| would bind to many viruses would bind to so it's like a future preventative disease it's a possibility that it's like another form of prophylaxis your smile would that can be really cool be
01:06:06| interesting the season interactions there I saw someone recently it's a little tangential but bring up the idea of asking our male partners to get get their tubes tied rather than having
01:06:22| women have to get like dicks yeah get like an IUD or something like that because it's you know reversal is reversible like both are painful but one is adding hormones to our bodies for
01:06:36| like five years and every guy was like nanana Nana no no no that's not normal that's not okay and so it's always interesting when these he's like options come up where I'm just hearing it as
01:06:48| like well you can't trust someone to wear a condom so I guess you should probably change how your body functions I think it is entitlement I just think like kind of need to be better it's 2019
01:07:08| we can't come up with a good an option that's not all you need to taste better to the flavored have you like tried the flavored lubes their sleep x+ Boober and that's the strawberry flavored ones
01:07:25| they taste like blueberry it's crazy I got I got to write some letters to Trojan okay diary yeah they're terrible they just feel really does anyone enjoy those which one half are the ones they
01:07:40| make don't make any sense they're just different sensations literally it's just like shapes I think the ribs yeah yeah they have all different hot gimmicks it's it's literally just a gimmick
01:07:51| that's all it is can they make like mazes draw on it to see for place in it and turn and twist the isn't there one that measures your heart rate like a Fitbit type thing and I'm gonna Emily
01:08:20| points ahead and then like a and like how fast they were and something like that I think there is one that could be a challenge like that everyone in the office like we have in most pumps this
01:08:33| week yeah why didn't see three pumps and you were done it was Wednesday boss yeah I was just super they were big pumps yeah your flow is a little low though Nick yeah no your flow is huge Nick
01:08:51| congratulations you've won the office pool we just why only ten seconds boss I got it got work to do okay I went out and ran a mile what did you do boss that's what I was able for the record
01:09:09| I'm not a one-pump chump and for the record being thank you guys but for anyone listening in case this gets released when I'm single I can give multiple pumps okay and the condom that
01:09:24| fit on that banana barely fits on me goes to like here yeah if it's backwards it was backwards and I did figure out like a couple weeks later that I'm like normal but like like barely fits in the
01:09:40| normal condom okay this is for the record barely like I don't know what the next tier is but I'm thinking of buying them I've heard they're awful really
01:09:53| apparently cuz like you see him merely because the other ones you can put your whole arm in them but the other they're just thicker like hey I have seen one I have it's like weird it's like a sleeve
01:10:07| yeah it's like yeah mm-hmm huh so suv's whenever guys are bummed about their dick near too small that's that's what you get okay guys they gotta wear like the little like sock no they just wear a
01:10:30| sock has that ever happened do you think I guarantee that's happened somewhere but to use different like no I want a sock I have the best story uh the best it was in high school in this guy it
01:10:48| must have been like early high school but apparently and it was confirmed by the girl apparently when I went down on this girl and like he was so worried about STI is that he got saran wrap and
01:11:00| like just like and we just leaking saran wrap yeah mom man I like that that guy's got spunk and that's hmm so he can't con STD that way right Wow give him time that's a
01:11:19| that I fully endorsed the put saran wrap on women and sort of eat them out brand wrap this folks talks any like saran wrap extra smells or anything that might be coming
01:11:33| down there so there's one time what STDs one time he's getting busy with a girl and like well I guess this is almost every time so like when you get a certain distance like sometimes it's
01:11:44| off-putting so the saran wrap makes sense because then you could protect yourself from whatever you're about to get in in there with you tell my red wing suit no this
01:11:55| time I don't know maybe she did have an STI and I was like just like like once you get that close it's already a contract it's like you made the move you can't be like whoa I'd rather just do
01:12:05| it's like in my mind I'm thinking that she knows that I don't want to good point that's there is a way to back out of that what's the we don't know you just
01:12:20| pretend you're down there to like add spit I know you get it lubricated well no no no you kiss it you kiss an inch above that you kiss an inch above that and you can just keep it inching up
01:12:29| until you're all the way up and you're like I'm about alright so work your nice tight bomb and let me pull up out of the dive bump no no no I got I've moves for days you guys yeah you guys are too
01:12:41| young a lot of Mo's to get out of I have to get to work saran wrap that's nice you can imagine me use tin foil and stack that's long roll he was a god damnit let's just go and keep cool and
01:13:03| she was like - she was like throw in the microwave woman up and he just did it without thinking and then he microwaved the tinfoil it caught on fire oh I also a guy that I had dated the
01:13:14| first time just poor child he was an adult for that old romantic right yeah we were both 17 so he was 17 I actually never had sex with him but the first time he had sex he flushed the condom
01:13:32| and it seemed fine his parents came back the next day yeah and they had to call a plumber a plumber for kind of how much cum did he it got stuck in the in the tubing it was
01:13:49| like blocking up the the toilet mmm I can still taste the cop yeah no it'll be there tomorrow morning that's gross even after the oh yeah yeah condos tastes like shame because okay look I
01:14:10| need this one percent everyone should use a condom and use protection anytime they're having any sort of sex luli we 100% endorse that if anyone at home looks they just do it but when you
01:14:23| think open your mouth tastes like condom you're like I hooked up with somebody wearing writer that's the other person hey you're over 25 and you're listening and you get it what are they getting
01:14:35| it's Italian they get it oh okay forget it you don't need it and just click you need it just do it but he's making motions with his hands for the people of listening prefer for the
01:14:50| Italian listeners he's doing the throat maneuver left to right around his throat and then the throw it away doesn't fit anyway that's the Nick move that's so we covered a lot of stuff tonight guys we
01:15:10| talked about STDs sti's talk about the criminality of it no go ahead let's see what you got so if you're well fully infecting someone with HIV it's a clue is the punishment I really don't know is
01:15:24| a different state by state Vicki I mean people have been charged for attempted murder so you can be it's attempted murder by the way running right now I'm asking for a friend how many years yeah
01:15:36| and also we didn't cover my favorite one crabs I have crabs like you have crabs well no I had like two weeks ago five to 15 years
01:15:48| okay we did like a football party we got crabs what Nikki heat crab yeah we get crabs oh oh the STD and forgot crabs and pubic lice are not like crabs from the ocean oh and the clap is
01:16:08| gonorrhea apparently and the clap is gonorrhea another thing we learned tonight is that most men you know have HPV most everyone has that hold on when at war 1 & 3 maybe 1/4 or if you dated a
01:16:26| girl for a long time and you broke up with her and then you get back together with her and then you broke up with ready to go back together with her and then you broke up with her in like two
01:16:35| years later she may have slept with like two or three people in between she called you and said that she had HPV a chance it a chance at HPV what can each be because endometritis or some kind of
01:16:49| cervical cancer or some kind of something de metrio sis's yeah there you go that's possible and then they said it had to be you had to be you it was you but it wasn't and you were like a little
01:17:04| bit like I gotcha but a little bit like she in criminal everybody is HPV I don't know okay actually particles what's that I don't know what that is oh that's the the shot that like Oh most literally
01:17:30| asked about that because there's a new vaccine for right yeah so it's three it's three shots it's like the most painful shots I've ever gotten wait in dorset Freddie like a fair fight
01:17:41| on the harm but yeah I got all three shots and so I I don't think I have HPV the shots are super effective against the most common strains and those are the ones that cause cervical cancer
01:17:55| generally so unless I have a rare strain and I'm probably good on HPV school 2006 it was approved yeah I was gonna say it's a 10-year live in 2011 yeah because
01:18:13| the controversy true science order get I hate this crap should my dar get vaccinated against HPV then she's gonna go and have sexual intercourse with everyone it's like no
01:18:28| sir this is so she doesn't get HPV but thank you does not treat the existing infection all right folks let's wrap it up tonight the criminality oh I get a go give me three pumps what Jesus the
01:18:45| criminality you nan look didn't let me finish no the like usually attempted murder as you won't like I like to savor my moments last longer than three pumps so
01:18:57| the criminality is that in most cases you're like attempted murder sure has to show intent but you don't necessarily have to show intent when you're transmitting HIV to get charged with it
01:19:09| that's what I like to say so if you know you have it you're essentially committing attempted murder without sharing that information with your partner hmm same thing for the other
01:19:18| STDs is that true if you like even use a condom is it just having sex I think that's an attempt to being procedure across the room and shoot you're coming are you what your spray is is ten feet
01:19:32| long oh my god I gotta tell you guys some naturist is over it's good distance check you losing distance in time overage tell you something about losing weight
01:19:46| okay gonorrhea chlamydia syphilis mycoplasma genitalium trike oh man in the ASIS that's my favorite one yeah no one's back home uh virus everyone it's friggin loves that everyone has it it's
01:20:01| every minute recombinase oh really go yeah that might be it yet trichomonas this is my knife is one is different scabies crabs pubic lice hiv/aids herpes HSV hepatitis we didn't talk the
01:20:22| hepatitis that's one of my favorite ones hmm all these things Hank oreag ma hi tank roid I've had tank weighed six times no big deal bacterial vaginosis had it twice game
01:20:34| over molluscum contagiosum that sounds like a like a Latin like I don't know don't come in here for guys oh this is my favorite one methicillin-resistant staphylococcus
01:20:49| telly that's my man stemple snuffleupagus definitely caucus doesn't know what I said rewind the tape anyway we covered everything folks we talked to the Center
01:21:11| for Disease Control prevention in 2017 Susanna oh my god just blanked on your last name for a second episode be fine if people didn't know it so anyway check out all the stuff we do we donate to a
01:21:30| lot of charities we got a lot of different causes I know you're all busy at home you just watched for hours and the year is 2027 exist indefinitely on the internet so they could listen to it
01:21:45| much after that they can listen to it in having you I loved it we talked about all these beautiful beautiful sores that show burnt genitals I just want you to share that with your
01:21:58| family share it with your friends share it with your loved ones and for God's sake folks kiss on the lips test it everybody I just don't get tested even Nick's family whoa my family kisses on
01:22:12| the lips every time we see each other it's weird but we got to do we got to do and I'm gonna get this latex taste off my mouth so anyone else have anything to add or anything you want to plug yeah
01:22:22| you're doing any speeches anywhere are you doing anything for anyone your stare down what are you doing she says she's gonna be PhD she doctor of microbiology when it's time I mean who the hell knows
01:22:36| by the time this comes about it'll be uh I don't know yeah no I mean my my tidbit is like it's gonna be oh my the best piece of a sex advice my parents ever gave me my monkey jump ellipse she she
01:22:55| said um don't have sex with someone you're not willing to talk with and like I know it sounds like a silly thing but I really think it's true like sex can be the most awkward horrific just like
01:23:10| weird experience in like whether it's condoms being weird or like sounds or you know unexpected periods there's so many things but like trying to see the people you can talk to
01:23:25| because then you might be feel more comfortable using protection or at least knowing that they got tested so you know you don't want one night of comfort or enjoyment to mean a lot of time in
01:23:40| uncomfortable situations explaining to other people hey it's the second date I've got hsv-2 yeah nice event links reading it on the podcast who's that in any way Dan
01:23:51| anything that yeah you're gonna have nights of endless passion more than any laws allow but um Lotus song but you know it's more than just the physical or you can share physical things you can
01:24:04| share emotional things discussion that sort of stuff can get you off to to just be talk to an orgasm if you've ever experienced that no no never you yeah but there's it it's like the
01:24:26| driving purpose from when you turn 13 hit puberty and move into so when you turn priming it yeah like 14 yeah take the time to know what you're
01:24:42| getting into identify herpes on other people what other diseases they might have they like scabby just like what what is that did you get that let me swap that real quick
01:24:52| who did you have sex with previously can I get a list can I call them can I check in can I make sure they're doing okay do they have yelp review I care very
01:25:01| much about all right well thanks guys I think everyone who tuned in tonight you can check out Susanna stuff she's gonna delete it since here because she didn't make her doctorate she turned into a
01:25:14| junkie and now she just spread in whatever disease it is Brendon it for money so keep donating that blood you can also donate to me and Dan here it's syphilis duck apologize I forget our
01:25:32| patreon that you can donate we love to hear from our fans we love to hear from everyone yeah spread the word likes of everyone no more gonorrhea which is huge right now spread the word spread it
01:25:44| folks spread whatever you can whether it's scabies tank roid bacterial vaginosis you get out there and spread it most of all though get tested because we like you we like you a lot tonight
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