Transcript of Episode 14 - Group Projects
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00:00:12| baby um we're here to talk about group projects you know it's something that not everyone's comfortable talking about some people feel weird talking about it
00:00:20| some people get anxious talking about um projects introverted so i don't like to say anything ouch i'll remain quiet when they're like who would like to do this
00:00:30| and then eventually see that's how you do everyone remain quiet for the whole thing does anyone like oh i'll do that part oh my god i would
00:00:38| love to do this part where i organize the data and then put the bibliography together no one's saying that actually if you're really smart you
00:00:46| could probably play it off and do like i'll do the weird part like the bibliography and then everyone's like oh my god no one knows how to annotate those things
00:00:54| this is i can't believe she's volunteering well i'll do the other hard part i'll do the other hard part i'll do the hard part and meanwhile she just got the
00:01:01| bibliography which is kind of weird but it's nowhere near as far as you're saying up tempo leader where you're shouting like do this dude and then like at the
00:01:09| end you're just like i didn't do anything myself the smoke cleared here the dust clears and you're like whoa oh my god this guy's a genius all he did
00:01:17| was talk [ __ ] for like a minute so let's talk about the people in the groups i guess well let's talk about it from the ultimate group projects are supposed to
00:01:25| prepare us for the workplace i believe i think that's why um the teachers have them yes yep so and they pick you up usually by your last name it's
00:01:34| like one two three four five one two three four five one two three four five alphabetically and then boom
00:01:41| all threes get together all the fours get together fives get together all two screw each other all the ones you're over here come on nice you like that yeah a little extra touch
00:01:52| i added fairy dust just a little fairy over here so all the ones you all get together it's like the smelly dude in class no one likes it's like that girl who you
00:02:05| think is attractive but now you hear her talk it's like a scene the other dude the other dude who you thought was really cool and you're like i probably
00:02:16| like this guy is like when you need anything new and you're like oh my god and then you hear yourself talk out loud and you're like i don't know and you're like
00:02:22| oh no they probably think i'm a loser too and then it's like the fifth person who is someone you didn't even know was in your class for god's sake
00:02:30| and they're like all right okay i'll do whatever i mean we do it i'm gonna go on vacation in a week oh so when it's due i won't be here i won't be here when it's due and you're
00:02:43| like um can you just help us do it and they're like well the week it's here i'm not gonna be here so let's do but i ain't gonna be here for once too
00:02:51| and you're like i know can you help with like the building it up making it a project and he's like yeah but when it's due i'm i'm beyond
00:02:59| i'm out because it's due and you're like damn he's not helping he's out he's just told us he's out he's officially out you got five people he's officially done
00:03:10| folks so now you're down to four and you yourself you're an intellectual smart guy you're like me and dan boom you're wondering what do i do in this situation
00:03:24| well the girl with the annoying voice guess what you're gonna lean on her heart as [ __ ] okay please because she's she wants to please
00:03:33| everyone her voice is terrible she has a lot of problems at home we're gonna lean on her okay she knows she's attractive she does a lot of instagram followers but no
00:03:43| in real life followers so she realizes there's a mismatch here she gets a lot of people to click like but not a lot of people interact with her in real life and she knows it's
00:03:52| because of her voice hey i'll do the speaking part you're gonna have to research from pages five to eighty-seven is that okay boom throw it on her just give it to her
00:04:06| tell her up front that she won't have to talk she's not gonna have to speak i will do the speaking part look pretty back you're fine exactly yeah do you
00:04:15| know um i volunteered for all the speaking parts of all my group projects because i'm an excellent eloquent speaker and i can [ __ ] my way through so many things
00:04:24| i hate those people and when you take the helm oh this is me hey guys just give me the research and you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna pull us out of this i'm gonna
00:04:34| make us heroic i'm gonna drive this train and we're gonna come out the other side with steam locomotion and everyone's like whoa loco what so that's what i do
00:04:48| huh i have had projects where somebody was like completely slacking like the one going okay all right and then when he did he nailed it and i
00:04:58| was like you didn't do any research how did you know these things did you hide it did you keep it secret you are you
00:05:05| nick that's what i did he knew yeah that's what i do that's what i do that's me because i can speak in front of the classroom do you know what the real trick to
00:05:14| speaking from the classroom is pretending you're doing something really important but realizing in the back your head that hey none of them want to be here none of
00:05:22| them are listening to you they're worried about you listening to them it's like this weird thing where like nobody's listening nobody cares don't try to remember the facts don't
00:05:31| don't be special no you want to do some of the facts but don't try to be like verbatim don't memorize it in your head no like it's like impressing a girl it's like
00:05:40| you gotta bring up a few weird stats you're like huh by the way it's gorgeous dipped your balls in court search you ever been to cornstarch town baby
00:05:53| just waking you up there the other thing we learned from group projects though is that no one has schedules that coincide with anyone else's schedule
00:06:06| so in high school group projects are like hey it's third period no no well in high school it's like oh yeah no it's the same period let's just work together sure cool i
00:06:15| gotta study we're in the classroom together literally we're in the classroom together boom got it college is when i found out people don't
00:06:22| have the same schedules at all i'd be like hey when do you guys want to get together and they'd be like i do something after classes i have night classes i do a thing
00:06:32| all right you had this in college where people would look at their family what did they i'm i'm listening oh dude wait did that happen to you of course
00:06:43| i didn't remember that that much they would sneak back they slide back a little bit so you can you can't see beyond like 180 degrees of your vision so they just like
00:06:51| right you're a lizard i know they hold it down real low and it's like they're really they're paying attention but their eyes start going so exactly what they would do to the teacher though i
00:07:00| mean think you have less teaching degree than a teacher but no what is crazy is like i would be like all right let's all get together on
00:07:13| thursday evening and someone would be like oh my god i'm going out with my boyfriend for tapas i'd be like isn't it tapas and they'd be like either way i'm going
00:07:24| and i'd be like okay and then i'd be like well how about in the mornings does anyone do mornings and someone's like i don't wake i'd be like
00:07:31| okay and then you'd find that no one could meet at one time and you were in college where you had all the free time that person that said they could and they don't show
00:07:39| up yeah all right then four of the five of us are gonna meet we'll send notes back to clifford this doesn't matter i'm not gonna be
00:07:47| here though and you're like clifford just shut up we're gonna send you the notes i'm i'm throwing your lifeline here buddy just take this say yeah i'll take it
00:07:57| i'm not going to be here that's just a vacation just agree okay i'll be like yeah sure cliff gotcha gotcha big guy so you all go to me and then only three you show up and then
00:08:11| the cool thing to talk about i found like with group projects with people i met outside a classroom who i had to meet with i was always like huh look at us meeting outside of class
00:08:20| this is crazy teachers expected to do work all day and they'd be like yeah that's my opener yeah and they would always be like
00:08:27| i never even i've never been here uh for like schoolwork but off hours i'd be like yeah i know it's wild and someone else will be like my friend plays frisbee right over there and i'll
00:08:36| be like that's i seen them play i've seen him play frisbee you want to play [ __ ] you guys won't play for me we could frisbee and do this at the same time
00:08:44| yeah i didn't bring a frisbee either oh you didn't either oh my god none of us did oh god this is gonna be a problem and then like you talk chitchat for like the projects
00:08:57| let's do this okay so you were gonna do the middle part i was gonna do an ending you're gonna get me to speak it the guy cliff he's not gonna be here next week and you weren't going to speak at all
00:09:08| because you have a horrible voice how about you email me the notes uh and then i'll email them to her and then she'll email them back to me all together and everyone says yeah
00:09:24| oh god nothing gets done yeah just quietly fake research while you're all like what about we should do we should do we should do we should keep doing other
00:09:33| things why don't we just keep suggesting can i suggest more things is this possible raise your voice while you're talking yeah that's
00:09:40| the trick too group projects are the worst because they don't really teach you anything actually maybe they do teach everything maybe
00:09:49| that's that's kind of what life is sandbaggers at all the costs that's what it teaches you yeah yeah so you do that in real work right like oh yeah in a way manager bed
00:10:01| co-worker [Laughter] [Music] they think they're in the wild free and clear no
00:10:16| crossbow they're done have you ever have you ever had to like say this person didn't do jack [ __ ] like did you ever lay down the hammer there's one thing i never did in school
00:10:28| and i think this is what some teachers really did appreciate about me this guy i never once squealed number one
00:10:36| squealed i never once complained you know when i did once our particular high school where people complain about grades if i got a bad grade i was like yeah you
00:10:46| got me meanwhile there are people who are like shouldn't this be a b minus instead of a c plus plus because like a five can you see
00:10:53| you said it was two points off every time you got one wrong but i didn't get it wrong i just didn't answer it there'd be kids in line to talk to the teacher about their trade and this
00:11:07| and i'd just be like this i'd be like ma'am yo mr g thanks so much okay like you have to it's okay give me an f i don't care i'm gonna i'm gonna be taking dog
00:11:21| steroids in like 15 minutes yeah i don't even know [ __ ] what this grade is okay yeah so education is stupid i think what you
00:11:30| you do realize a lot about the group project so i guess in a way it is really good but it it's good because it teaches that everyone sucks
00:11:38| yeah no one works together someone anybody dude someone will do the whole project someone your co-worker your boss it might be the girl who talks funny it
00:11:48| might be don't trust that might be your spouse she's attractive she's great she talks terrible you're like oh my god i hate her guts but i live with her
00:12:00| because she's beautiful and she does the dishes and because she helps me and she puts a lot of money on the table okay everything in life is a group
00:12:09| project that's truth right there this is just a bunch of group projects we're all forced to meet we're all forced to go to somewhere
00:12:17| be with people you don't like oh i hate them hate everyone i'm like nine hours a day you're not my friend you're not my friend we have a group project and someone's
00:12:26| like group projects i'm like it's a ten year project let's just get through it okay i'm gonna go to your your reunion lunch in ten years your kid's
00:12:36| gonna graduate college i'm going to be so excited to invite me i won't care but i'll go anyway i'll be your best one's getting married again i don't want to say this i'm your best
00:12:43| man i'm not i'm saying i'll say the [ __ ] out of your speech i'm the guy who does the speeches see i did it didn't i see i do the group project speech that's
00:12:54| what i do i guess we found out we all have roles that's it does teach us it does and some of us are bullshitters and some of us are bad at our roles but
00:13:04| some of us i don't know you figure out your freaking role and you're on a roll baby how to avoid these situations don't it's gonna happen yeah roll with
00:13:13| it except the group project folks do the bibliography live with it so with that i will say don't avoid it go full force right at it burglars burgers
00:00:20| some people get anxious talking about um projects introverted so i don't like to say anything ouch i'll remain quiet when they're like who would like to do this
00:00:30| and then eventually see that's how you do everyone remain quiet for the whole thing does anyone like oh i'll do that part oh my god i would
00:00:38| love to do this part where i organize the data and then put the bibliography together no one's saying that actually if you're really smart you
00:00:46| could probably play it off and do like i'll do the weird part like the bibliography and then everyone's like oh my god no one knows how to annotate those things
00:00:54| this is i can't believe she's volunteering well i'll do the other hard part i'll do the other hard part i'll do the hard part and meanwhile she just got the
00:01:01| bibliography which is kind of weird but it's nowhere near as far as you're saying up tempo leader where you're shouting like do this dude and then like at the
00:01:09| end you're just like i didn't do anything myself the smoke cleared here the dust clears and you're like whoa oh my god this guy's a genius all he did
00:01:17| was talk [ __ ] for like a minute so let's talk about the people in the groups i guess well let's talk about it from the ultimate group projects are supposed to
00:01:25| prepare us for the workplace i believe i think that's why um the teachers have them yes yep so and they pick you up usually by your last name it's
00:01:34| like one two three four five one two three four five one two three four five alphabetically and then boom
00:01:41| all threes get together all the fours get together fives get together all two screw each other all the ones you're over here come on nice you like that yeah a little extra touch
00:01:52| i added fairy dust just a little fairy over here so all the ones you all get together it's like the smelly dude in class no one likes it's like that girl who you
00:02:05| think is attractive but now you hear her talk it's like a scene the other dude the other dude who you thought was really cool and you're like i probably
00:02:16| like this guy is like when you need anything new and you're like oh my god and then you hear yourself talk out loud and you're like i don't know and you're like
00:02:22| oh no they probably think i'm a loser too and then it's like the fifth person who is someone you didn't even know was in your class for god's sake
00:02:30| and they're like all right okay i'll do whatever i mean we do it i'm gonna go on vacation in a week oh so when it's due i won't be here i won't be here when it's due and you're
00:02:43| like um can you just help us do it and they're like well the week it's here i'm not gonna be here so let's do but i ain't gonna be here for once too
00:02:51| and you're like i know can you help with like the building it up making it a project and he's like yeah but when it's due i'm i'm beyond
00:02:59| i'm out because it's due and you're like damn he's not helping he's out he's just told us he's out he's officially out you got five people he's officially done
00:03:10| folks so now you're down to four and you yourself you're an intellectual smart guy you're like me and dan boom you're wondering what do i do in this situation
00:03:24| well the girl with the annoying voice guess what you're gonna lean on her heart as [ __ ] okay please because she's she wants to please
00:03:33| everyone her voice is terrible she has a lot of problems at home we're gonna lean on her okay she knows she's attractive she does a lot of instagram followers but no
00:03:43| in real life followers so she realizes there's a mismatch here she gets a lot of people to click like but not a lot of people interact with her in real life and she knows it's
00:03:52| because of her voice hey i'll do the speaking part you're gonna have to research from pages five to eighty-seven is that okay boom throw it on her just give it to her
00:04:06| tell her up front that she won't have to talk she's not gonna have to speak i will do the speaking part look pretty back you're fine exactly yeah do you
00:04:15| know um i volunteered for all the speaking parts of all my group projects because i'm an excellent eloquent speaker and i can [ __ ] my way through so many things
00:04:24| i hate those people and when you take the helm oh this is me hey guys just give me the research and you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna pull us out of this i'm gonna
00:04:34| make us heroic i'm gonna drive this train and we're gonna come out the other side with steam locomotion and everyone's like whoa loco what so that's what i do
00:04:48| huh i have had projects where somebody was like completely slacking like the one going okay all right and then when he did he nailed it and i
00:04:58| was like you didn't do any research how did you know these things did you hide it did you keep it secret you are you
00:05:05| nick that's what i did he knew yeah that's what i do that's what i do that's me because i can speak in front of the classroom do you know what the real trick to
00:05:14| speaking from the classroom is pretending you're doing something really important but realizing in the back your head that hey none of them want to be here none of
00:05:22| them are listening to you they're worried about you listening to them it's like this weird thing where like nobody's listening nobody cares don't try to remember the facts don't
00:05:31| don't be special no you want to do some of the facts but don't try to be like verbatim don't memorize it in your head no like it's like impressing a girl it's like
00:05:40| you gotta bring up a few weird stats you're like huh by the way it's gorgeous dipped your balls in court search you ever been to cornstarch town baby
00:05:53| just waking you up there the other thing we learned from group projects though is that no one has schedules that coincide with anyone else's schedule
00:06:06| so in high school group projects are like hey it's third period no no well in high school it's like oh yeah no it's the same period let's just work together sure cool i
00:06:15| gotta study we're in the classroom together literally we're in the classroom together boom got it college is when i found out people don't
00:06:22| have the same schedules at all i'd be like hey when do you guys want to get together and they'd be like i do something after classes i have night classes i do a thing
00:06:32| all right you had this in college where people would look at their family what did they i'm i'm listening oh dude wait did that happen to you of course
00:06:43| i didn't remember that that much they would sneak back they slide back a little bit so you can you can't see beyond like 180 degrees of your vision so they just like
00:06:51| right you're a lizard i know they hold it down real low and it's like they're really they're paying attention but their eyes start going so exactly what they would do to the teacher though i
00:07:00| mean think you have less teaching degree than a teacher but no what is crazy is like i would be like all right let's all get together on
00:07:13| thursday evening and someone would be like oh my god i'm going out with my boyfriend for tapas i'd be like isn't it tapas and they'd be like either way i'm going
00:07:24| and i'd be like okay and then i'd be like well how about in the mornings does anyone do mornings and someone's like i don't wake i'd be like
00:07:31| okay and then you'd find that no one could meet at one time and you were in college where you had all the free time that person that said they could and they don't show
00:07:39| up yeah all right then four of the five of us are gonna meet we'll send notes back to clifford this doesn't matter i'm not gonna be
00:07:47| here though and you're like clifford just shut up we're gonna send you the notes i'm i'm throwing your lifeline here buddy just take this say yeah i'll take it
00:07:57| i'm not going to be here that's just a vacation just agree okay i'll be like yeah sure cliff gotcha gotcha big guy so you all go to me and then only three you show up and then
00:08:11| the cool thing to talk about i found like with group projects with people i met outside a classroom who i had to meet with i was always like huh look at us meeting outside of class
00:08:20| this is crazy teachers expected to do work all day and they'd be like yeah that's my opener yeah and they would always be like
00:08:27| i never even i've never been here uh for like schoolwork but off hours i'd be like yeah i know it's wild and someone else will be like my friend plays frisbee right over there and i'll
00:08:36| be like that's i seen them play i've seen him play frisbee you want to play [ __ ] you guys won't play for me we could frisbee and do this at the same time
00:08:44| yeah i didn't bring a frisbee either oh you didn't either oh my god none of us did oh god this is gonna be a problem and then like you talk chitchat for like the projects
00:08:57| let's do this okay so you were gonna do the middle part i was gonna do an ending you're gonna get me to speak it the guy cliff he's not gonna be here next week and you weren't going to speak at all
00:09:08| because you have a horrible voice how about you email me the notes uh and then i'll email them to her and then she'll email them back to me all together and everyone says yeah
00:09:24| oh god nothing gets done yeah just quietly fake research while you're all like what about we should do we should do we should do we should keep doing other
00:09:33| things why don't we just keep suggesting can i suggest more things is this possible raise your voice while you're talking yeah that's
00:09:40| the trick too group projects are the worst because they don't really teach you anything actually maybe they do teach everything maybe
00:09:49| that's that's kind of what life is sandbaggers at all the costs that's what it teaches you yeah yeah so you do that in real work right like oh yeah in a way manager bed
00:10:01| co-worker [Laughter] [Music] they think they're in the wild free and clear no
00:10:16| crossbow they're done have you ever have you ever had to like say this person didn't do jack [ __ ] like did you ever lay down the hammer there's one thing i never did in school
00:10:28| and i think this is what some teachers really did appreciate about me this guy i never once squealed number one
00:10:36| squealed i never once complained you know when i did once our particular high school where people complain about grades if i got a bad grade i was like yeah you
00:10:46| got me meanwhile there are people who are like shouldn't this be a b minus instead of a c plus plus because like a five can you see
00:10:53| you said it was two points off every time you got one wrong but i didn't get it wrong i just didn't answer it there'd be kids in line to talk to the teacher about their trade and this
00:11:07| and i'd just be like this i'd be like ma'am yo mr g thanks so much okay like you have to it's okay give me an f i don't care i'm gonna i'm gonna be taking dog
00:11:21| steroids in like 15 minutes yeah i don't even know [ __ ] what this grade is okay yeah so education is stupid i think what you
00:11:30| you do realize a lot about the group project so i guess in a way it is really good but it it's good because it teaches that everyone sucks
00:11:38| yeah no one works together someone anybody dude someone will do the whole project someone your co-worker your boss it might be the girl who talks funny it
00:11:48| might be don't trust that might be your spouse she's attractive she's great she talks terrible you're like oh my god i hate her guts but i live with her
00:12:00| because she's beautiful and she does the dishes and because she helps me and she puts a lot of money on the table okay everything in life is a group
00:12:09| project that's truth right there this is just a bunch of group projects we're all forced to meet we're all forced to go to somewhere
00:12:17| be with people you don't like oh i hate them hate everyone i'm like nine hours a day you're not my friend you're not my friend we have a group project and someone's
00:12:26| like group projects i'm like it's a ten year project let's just get through it okay i'm gonna go to your your reunion lunch in ten years your kid's
00:12:36| gonna graduate college i'm going to be so excited to invite me i won't care but i'll go anyway i'll be your best one's getting married again i don't want to say this i'm your best
00:12:43| man i'm not i'm saying i'll say the [ __ ] out of your speech i'm the guy who does the speeches see i did it didn't i see i do the group project speech that's
00:12:54| what i do i guess we found out we all have roles that's it does teach us it does and some of us are bullshitters and some of us are bad at our roles but
00:13:04| some of us i don't know you figure out your freaking role and you're on a roll baby how to avoid these situations don't it's gonna happen yeah roll with
00:13:13| it except the group project folks do the bibliography live with it so with that i will say don't avoid it go full force right at it burglars burgers
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