Transcript of Episode 9 - Narcissists
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00:00:13| good good on you all right yeah warm that one up all right so we're going to talk about narcissists today which everyone thinks they know a narcissist
00:00:22| but i don't know that they really do most people equate it to people who are vain and think about themselves usually it's um excessive though it has way a factor that has zero consideration
00:00:34| and empathy for other people wow yeah usually they turn they're viewed as cocky manipulative selfish patronizing and demanding at the same time hold on a
00:00:46| second yeah i just saw a list yesterday oh yeah yeah i swear to god but it was on a disorder very similar keep going okay i sent it to my dad yeah one
00:00:57| one quick story was someone uh someone was a college roommate with somebody and they kept asking them to do small things like can you grab my laundry et cetera et cetera
00:01:04| and then they'd like be like yeah can you return the favor and the person said oh no no no i'm not busy and blah blah and eventually he asked like
00:01:12| why don't you ever do anything to help me i thought we were friends and goes no no one day i'm gonna be a big important person and you're gonna be working for me so you're just gonna
00:01:20| you're paying me forward for the times you're gonna need my help oh that's ridiculous someone's worth getting punched for that yeah yeah so this this is real funny then
00:01:36| no good good okay what i had sent to my father was a list of um traits if you have narcissistic personality disorder yes is that what you're talking about
00:01:48| someone who's actually diagnosed do you have the list if you want to look at it you want me to real quick a sense of self-importance
00:01:58| self-entitlement and require constant excessive admiration expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it exaggerate achievements and talents
00:02:09| proctified with fantasies about success power brilliance beauty or the perfect me oh that's interesting you live superior and can only associate with equally special people
00:02:21| monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
00:02:31| take advantage of others to get what they want inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others envious of others and believe others
00:02:41| envy them hmm that's insane it's a catch-22 right there it is coming across as conceited boastful and pretentious
00:02:51| and insist on having the best of everything for instance the best car or office yes as as we're saying the list no one else are we going to say it what
00:03:03| do we talk about the elephant in the room i don't know what you're talking about we don't know anyone everyone in the entire world doesn't
00:03:11| know who who this describes to a t no maybe isn't being serious no okay who is it runs the country oh oh yeah the 100 oh okay cool i thought you really didn't think of that because
00:03:26| like it's 100 becomes impatient or cranky when they don't receive special treatment that is oh donald trump so this it's weird because not like people
00:03:39| can avoid most narcissists and i think most relationships like a one-on-one relationship is where you realize the person is a narcissist very rarely do they make it a group
00:03:48| thing where they try to make a group of people do things for them in a way that makes it obvious it's like they would do like a one-to-one conversation with people to
00:03:58| like get them on their side yeah yeah yeah yes they interact on a one-to-one level i agree yep so there's a weird kind of like if you're
00:04:09| say your friend like the college friend or you're in a relationship like you might not be aware of it because you don't deal with real narcissists like it'll it'll
00:04:17| come to light eventually but you're going to be like what the hell or mostly parents i hear like a lot of stories about parents who like put so
00:04:25| much weight on their children for no reason at all and then later in life the children are just like trying to figure out like like why does like why do i feel this
00:04:33| way and then they like end up snapping and then you figure out that like this is not a normal way to treat your children or live life makes sense
00:04:42| yeah and there's a weird there's a real person in my life that does this and they control every situation they'll try to plan everything for you and then
00:04:54| when you go there you're supposed to be very happy that they did even if it's like really shitty and then if there was somebody that was like dissenting opinions they'll attack them
00:05:05| like on a one-to-one basis and then slowly try to get other people to like attack that person agree with them yeah don't you think someone said it's wrong where every time they say that
00:05:14| they always say that why would they say that aren't they hearing me did you hear that tone yeah aren't they being mean isn't that like attacking someone you're like
00:05:21| i guess i guess slow down i did not like attacking someone this actually happened very recently where there was a person trying to manipulate the other person into
00:05:32| agreeing with them and eventually the person that was being i guess tattled on walked in the room at the moment where they were like i know i don't think so it made the
00:05:41| narcissist snap and then like they had like like a knife in their hand they said like you don't want to test me like it was like very threatening in a
00:05:50| way that was like non-threatening like narcissists do that so that they like they're not actively attacking you but the potential for like that extra step is there
00:06:00| like you can tell it's like not normal and you don't know how psycho they're gonna get but i don't i think they're in control of their own so um but it's borderline
00:06:11| like the pretense of you don't know what i'm capable of like the implied violence the implied i could go farther here yeah i'm probably not going to but i
00:06:20| could exactly weird i didn't even think of that so how do you how do you realize that the person is a narcissist i think in conversations where i would
00:06:30| pick it up yeah if every sentence comes back to them and like everything and then like i say something kind of interesting like you might not be into yu-gi-oh cards i
00:06:40| collect yu-gi-oh cards i still do every single day if i casually bring it up on a date with a fine female she better ask if i have the red deck and then if i have like certain cards
00:06:49| you know yeah she better if she doesn't i know she's a narcissist so i try and talk about yugioh the entire time we're on our date just a big
00:06:56| sure she's not a narcissist you can also push their buttons like just like you pull up crazy yeah because they have a lot of weaknesses that they just like
00:07:07| they keep talking about that whatever they say is their strength is obviously their weakness so if you push their buttons eventually they're gonna snap and then you're gonna be like yep and
00:07:16| then you need to get away as fast as possible because they could really snap in a bad way i don't like them yeah i don't know why anybody would like them because they're
00:07:27| self-centered all that all those bad things so what do you do you distance yourself you have to i don't think they're salvaging it yeah i don't think what if like your mom
00:07:37| or your dad is one then you have to live with them yeah you're forced to live with them until you can get away because
00:07:52| holiday christmas or whatever so i guess you got to deal with it i guess you just kind of have to just ignore them and let them tell their stories and tell you their things are the best
00:07:59| and just kind of like move on yeah sure yeah or you get kind of never commit anything i think you get kind of jaded about it and then you kind of let them do whatever they want
00:08:07| and then every now and then they'll freak out and then hopefully if siblings or other friends or family that he'd just be like they freaked out again and it somehow doesn't get blamed on you
00:08:17| like if there was a a situation that never happened that they said they did like you it was some sort of like abuse situation like at least like everyone's on the
00:08:25| same page that this person is just like not normal so that they have your back right everyone kind of that's a sad thing though
00:08:34| yeah i mean it's if it's a one-to-one relationship for a long time then you you're gonna feel gullible like you're going to feel guilt because you can't fix them
00:08:42| and there's nothing you can do about it yeah i guess you're right wow well what how do you avoid it if it's your president or whatever you have like your company you uh
00:08:55| get another present then in their empower i guess you'd change jobs you could have a narcissist's boss too i guess that's the thing is that if they
00:09:03| keep trying to force you to work late and harder hours and then don't give you a raise and then say oh this work is subpar but thank you for doing it
00:09:10| yeah or if they have you do work down the shore on their places and then they look at it and say well this isn't 100 what we thought it would be we're not going to pay you for it oh
00:09:20| those people you know those people i don't know you get a contract work for a wage and get out of there as soon as possible yeah
00:09:30| avoid these people at all costs that's what we're saying you're going to run into them there's people with their varying degrees of narcissism yeah the the form of it narcissistic
00:09:41| narcissia i don't know i would say medicate them or try to get them to medicate themselves what the hell is medicine do for those
00:09:51| people i don't know you can maybe like give him some downers and his heart grew three times that day [Laughter] you're a mean one you son of a [ __ ]
00:10:05| yeah i think that's it probably narcissus yep how bad was the lag on your end
00:00:22| but i don't know that they really do most people equate it to people who are vain and think about themselves usually it's um excessive though it has way a factor that has zero consideration
00:00:34| and empathy for other people wow yeah usually they turn they're viewed as cocky manipulative selfish patronizing and demanding at the same time hold on a
00:00:46| second yeah i just saw a list yesterday oh yeah yeah i swear to god but it was on a disorder very similar keep going okay i sent it to my dad yeah one
00:00:57| one quick story was someone uh someone was a college roommate with somebody and they kept asking them to do small things like can you grab my laundry et cetera et cetera
00:01:04| and then they'd like be like yeah can you return the favor and the person said oh no no no i'm not busy and blah blah and eventually he asked like
00:01:12| why don't you ever do anything to help me i thought we were friends and goes no no one day i'm gonna be a big important person and you're gonna be working for me so you're just gonna
00:01:20| you're paying me forward for the times you're gonna need my help oh that's ridiculous someone's worth getting punched for that yeah yeah so this this is real funny then
00:01:36| no good good okay what i had sent to my father was a list of um traits if you have narcissistic personality disorder yes is that what you're talking about
00:01:48| someone who's actually diagnosed do you have the list if you want to look at it you want me to real quick a sense of self-importance
00:01:58| self-entitlement and require constant excessive admiration expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it exaggerate achievements and talents
00:02:09| proctified with fantasies about success power brilliance beauty or the perfect me oh that's interesting you live superior and can only associate with equally special people
00:02:21| monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
00:02:31| take advantage of others to get what they want inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others envious of others and believe others
00:02:41| envy them hmm that's insane it's a catch-22 right there it is coming across as conceited boastful and pretentious
00:02:51| and insist on having the best of everything for instance the best car or office yes as as we're saying the list no one else are we going to say it what
00:03:03| do we talk about the elephant in the room i don't know what you're talking about we don't know anyone everyone in the entire world doesn't
00:03:11| know who who this describes to a t no maybe isn't being serious no okay who is it runs the country oh oh yeah the 100 oh okay cool i thought you really didn't think of that because
00:03:26| like it's 100 becomes impatient or cranky when they don't receive special treatment that is oh donald trump so this it's weird because not like people
00:03:39| can avoid most narcissists and i think most relationships like a one-on-one relationship is where you realize the person is a narcissist very rarely do they make it a group
00:03:48| thing where they try to make a group of people do things for them in a way that makes it obvious it's like they would do like a one-to-one conversation with people to
00:03:58| like get them on their side yeah yeah yeah yes they interact on a one-to-one level i agree yep so there's a weird kind of like if you're
00:04:09| say your friend like the college friend or you're in a relationship like you might not be aware of it because you don't deal with real narcissists like it'll it'll
00:04:17| come to light eventually but you're going to be like what the hell or mostly parents i hear like a lot of stories about parents who like put so
00:04:25| much weight on their children for no reason at all and then later in life the children are just like trying to figure out like like why does like why do i feel this
00:04:33| way and then they like end up snapping and then you figure out that like this is not a normal way to treat your children or live life makes sense
00:04:42| yeah and there's a weird there's a real person in my life that does this and they control every situation they'll try to plan everything for you and then
00:04:54| when you go there you're supposed to be very happy that they did even if it's like really shitty and then if there was somebody that was like dissenting opinions they'll attack them
00:05:05| like on a one-to-one basis and then slowly try to get other people to like attack that person agree with them yeah don't you think someone said it's wrong where every time they say that
00:05:14| they always say that why would they say that aren't they hearing me did you hear that tone yeah aren't they being mean isn't that like attacking someone you're like
00:05:21| i guess i guess slow down i did not like attacking someone this actually happened very recently where there was a person trying to manipulate the other person into
00:05:32| agreeing with them and eventually the person that was being i guess tattled on walked in the room at the moment where they were like i know i don't think so it made the
00:05:41| narcissist snap and then like they had like like a knife in their hand they said like you don't want to test me like it was like very threatening in a
00:05:50| way that was like non-threatening like narcissists do that so that they like they're not actively attacking you but the potential for like that extra step is there
00:06:00| like you can tell it's like not normal and you don't know how psycho they're gonna get but i don't i think they're in control of their own so um but it's borderline
00:06:11| like the pretense of you don't know what i'm capable of like the implied violence the implied i could go farther here yeah i'm probably not going to but i
00:06:20| could exactly weird i didn't even think of that so how do you how do you realize that the person is a narcissist i think in conversations where i would
00:06:30| pick it up yeah if every sentence comes back to them and like everything and then like i say something kind of interesting like you might not be into yu-gi-oh cards i
00:06:40| collect yu-gi-oh cards i still do every single day if i casually bring it up on a date with a fine female she better ask if i have the red deck and then if i have like certain cards
00:06:49| you know yeah she better if she doesn't i know she's a narcissist so i try and talk about yugioh the entire time we're on our date just a big
00:06:56| sure she's not a narcissist you can also push their buttons like just like you pull up crazy yeah because they have a lot of weaknesses that they just like
00:07:07| they keep talking about that whatever they say is their strength is obviously their weakness so if you push their buttons eventually they're gonna snap and then you're gonna be like yep and
00:07:16| then you need to get away as fast as possible because they could really snap in a bad way i don't like them yeah i don't know why anybody would like them because they're
00:07:27| self-centered all that all those bad things so what do you do you distance yourself you have to i don't think they're salvaging it yeah i don't think what if like your mom
00:07:37| or your dad is one then you have to live with them yeah you're forced to live with them until you can get away because
00:07:52| holiday christmas or whatever so i guess you got to deal with it i guess you just kind of have to just ignore them and let them tell their stories and tell you their things are the best
00:07:59| and just kind of like move on yeah sure yeah or you get kind of never commit anything i think you get kind of jaded about it and then you kind of let them do whatever they want
00:08:07| and then every now and then they'll freak out and then hopefully if siblings or other friends or family that he'd just be like they freaked out again and it somehow doesn't get blamed on you
00:08:17| like if there was a a situation that never happened that they said they did like you it was some sort of like abuse situation like at least like everyone's on the
00:08:25| same page that this person is just like not normal so that they have your back right everyone kind of that's a sad thing though
00:08:34| yeah i mean it's if it's a one-to-one relationship for a long time then you you're gonna feel gullible like you're going to feel guilt because you can't fix them
00:08:42| and there's nothing you can do about it yeah i guess you're right wow well what how do you avoid it if it's your president or whatever you have like your company you uh
00:08:55| get another present then in their empower i guess you'd change jobs you could have a narcissist's boss too i guess that's the thing is that if they
00:09:03| keep trying to force you to work late and harder hours and then don't give you a raise and then say oh this work is subpar but thank you for doing it
00:09:10| yeah or if they have you do work down the shore on their places and then they look at it and say well this isn't 100 what we thought it would be we're not going to pay you for it oh
00:09:20| those people you know those people i don't know you get a contract work for a wage and get out of there as soon as possible yeah
00:09:30| avoid these people at all costs that's what we're saying you're going to run into them there's people with their varying degrees of narcissism yeah the the form of it narcissistic
00:09:41| narcissia i don't know i would say medicate them or try to get them to medicate themselves what the hell is medicine do for those
00:09:51| people i don't know you can maybe like give him some downers and his heart grew three times that day [Laughter] you're a mean one you son of a [ __ ]
00:10:05| yeah i think that's it probably narcissus yep how bad was the lag on your end
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