Transcript of Episode 131 - Beach Surf Sand Sun
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00:00:03| it's that summertime fun grab your boogie boards and slide on in the seafoam is blowing across your face and you can feel that breeze uh it's the beach with that glorious and getting
00:00:16| stuck up your crack people rolling around in the dunes get it in your eyes in your mouth can't get rid of it that feeling sticks the salt ah it's all in your body all over I
00:00:28| hate the beach so I'm Dan and I'm Nick folks we're old friends dissecting one topic at a time deep we'll take our G medium we've got it all covered each discussion here is a
00:00:48| deep dive in or unique perspective taboo forbidden subjects they're all on the chopping block baby we don't pander to popular opinion but Mike you can get a little bit dirty morning this podcast
00:01:02| may contain mature language and sexual content and is for entertainment purposes only join us [Music] [Music]
00:01:30| can you do that little riff he does though the Hawaii yeah I haven't that's other song there's like a teeny teeny Camozzi kind of kind of no any can it be nippy number please for me I know it is
00:01:46| the sounds I don't know yeah no what do you cannot beat it has like a little like symphonic riffs I guess I do anyway looks like we're live we're live here on
00:02:03| Dan panders I'm Dan Nick Oh Nick I wanted to go first this time you always go first hmm starting to bother me really but I always know
00:02:13| gentleman is not a gentleman yeah so we're here to talk about life's a beach right thanks I should say that for the last line it's all my salt layers of each soul life bro so that's
00:02:28| that time of year folks yeah buddy could be middle water could be summertime who knows there may have been snow outside today who cares yeah it's the image of the be peeling off the beach that's my
00:02:47| favorite thing as I get older um I think could be just like my favorite vacation thing really yeah it is it is one of those change that would buy into yeah I would I do it's the it's
00:02:59| the image of vacation right summertime freedom relaxation you said if you say vacation everyone pictures the beach it's like the go-to it's the the mascot for not vacation my problem
00:03:11| is that no one ever goes to the beach and brings like Oh a gaming computer and then like just games on the beach like if you had a LAN party on the beach I think I think I would like to be super
00:03:22| hot you're cranking your cores etc etc your fans are running you got a la I can I love your power in you guys I wish there was like an outlet these so sit down yeah just here it was clean energy
00:03:34| they're saying idea solar mm-hmm solar oh damn oh be hot mm-hmm so what is a beach by definition doesn't have to have sand at I wonder that's a great question I wish you would have looked
00:03:48| this up beforehand Nick I wish I would have as well but we all know I'm the slacker so I will stall for time while you cook a beach into the Kapiti what is look at it you damn idiot yeah I imagine
00:04:07| it's gonna be like any anywhere where water is constantly hitting the earth and pounding it into sand a pebble er sandy shore especially by the ocean between high and low water marks
00:04:21| interesting so water has to constantly be changing has to be that it's a middle zone you can't be above high water and be on the beach or below water and be on beach
00:04:31| yeah well then you're in the ocean yeah unless the ocean recedes with the changing of temperature and time to change and then the whole world could be a beach oh why it's a beach here we go
00:04:43| again the interesting like that definition most of the ones we know are fairly tropical is there a reason for that tropical beaches because no one gives a
00:04:53| [ __ ] about like old beaches so there are just as many cold beaches had no idea probably right sorry Mike maybe it matters to like them it says so no you guys like pebbly
00:05:07| beaches you know there's probably rocky shorelines and yeah Siberia rocky shoreline be a beach if it's pebbly it might be really because it it might be like regal pebbles mall like maybe you
00:05:19| can only like sit on it like it's not very large like if it's a steep Beach it makes a definite you'll enjoy the definition for the size of the pebbles can you sit on it can you just nimbly
00:05:29| involving you fit it fit the beat in your bum what is the size of a pebble wow that's a great question we can use google questions all day this like thing it's a class it's a ring it's a class of
00:05:44| rock I don't know what class means how do I not know these things huh I've heard of the term class actually I know I had I'm a hundred percent sure in fact is it like shale or some kind of
00:05:55| sedimentary that's a fragment of clastic rock which are composed of arguments or classes of pre-existing minerals and rock fragment geological Tetris chunks and smaller grains of rock broken
00:06:08| off other rocks by physical weathering a clastic rock that's it's pretty hot so we got some classic rock we got beaches gold 1/2 into 64 millimeters 64 millimeters ooh 64 165 molecular can be
00:06:23| I guess sand is probably below as intense they see size of sand size of sand we know it's good TV folks yep anything from Oh point zero six to two milliliters
00:06:43| millimeters millimeter square that's interesting not squared no well what about the other one so if you have a something that's really long and then it can't be a pebble if it likes do you
00:06:54| mean yeah if it's over that two point well I don't know what number you said I couldn't remember what about like the peso XD sixteen millimeters 25 60 or 65 I think since oh good okay so if you had
00:07:08| one that was one millimeter larger you couldn't classify it as a pebble at 2.5 inches oh four millimeters so that's that's a pretty big pebble that's really uncomfortable lay on it whoa still 3.5
00:07:21| jack come on I would appreciate seeing people lay on that beach so putting work in my body trying to stay comfortable mm-hmm you don't strike me as a beach guy let's just put it that way so this
00:07:35| is actually there's a dualistic part of it I really like the beach I have good memories of the beach going to the beach once you're in it it's a it's pretty awesome nice warm water the waves you
00:07:45| there's all sorts of accoutrement like accessories that you bring to the beach they're Beach centric so it's like you could be really prepared and it you don't need any of that but it also feels
00:07:55| good to have that so like there's a beach bum mentality where you don't have anything and then there's like the family going to the beach that has like every single little knick-knack that's
00:08:05| purely Beach yeah there is something nice about that you can go from any range it's just people going there you can come prepared with nine months of supplies or you can just kind of show up
00:08:15| in your shoes is wrapped in jeans you don't actually have to be in Beach apparel which is kind of cool and there's also kind of a mentality of being at the beach that the mix of
00:08:25| people are like you've gone far enough but not in life I don't know where the people that room with like like you're on vacation with them so you have a common theme and you're from different
00:08:40| places so you're getting yeah there's that but then there's also the people that like they like salt life like there's people like go to the beach because it's a thing and get stuck there
00:08:50| and they just like wanted to be near the beach it's like that's their goal for some reason like they came from the beach why they I mean just because being near the
00:09:00| ocean there's something real about that like an actual drawl towards the ocean something that isn't logical it isn't based on a lot of things maybe it's just based on aesthetic beauty because you do
00:09:11| get better sunsets and sunrises there's something to be said for the sound there's something to be said for just the the look of it constant feel yeah the sound of the
00:09:23| ocean there's something real about the pull of the ocean like someone asked me if I could live in Ohio for ten million dollars for the rest of my life and I could never leave that state what I do
00:09:35| it or they said Idaho it was a state that's landlocked and I was like I don't think I could I feel the calling of the ocean and Solms like dude there's probably like
00:09:44| big lakes and ponds you know do in Idaho you're a millionaire I was like nah can't do it not gonna Idaho and part of it was a call to the ocean I think if you told me I could never see the ocean
00:09:55| again that would do something weird to me I don't know if there are people that grow up and never see the ocean landlocked country know what but I but I have so what's written you don't think
00:10:08| they've ever visited a beets up you're so out focused I feel fantastic I'm very pleased you're probably recording on yours maybe it's cuz I was wearing sunglasses inside like a douche bag a
00:10:19| beach douche do I look best now or we do you look he looks great in here of course but it's the hair better and worse that's better and worse and so I mean do you think there's a percentage
00:10:34| of people who've never seen an ocean it's gotta be under 10% or I don't know maybe I'm being rich first world country we don't even know like I would search like how would you find it like the so
00:10:49| like I imagine Switzerland people that live in like Brazil in the Amazon and then like the Midwest I even they most of them probably go somewhere to see a beach even it's
00:11:04| don't go song sorry not gonna and I gotta happen once you see it you can't unsee it it's a it's one of the biggest things you can see I still remember one of my son's more cognitive because he
00:11:18| seemed to be 22 - he's old when he won't lining so it when it's 3 but like when he was 4 I feel like he really knew what the beach was and when he looked out over and I was like look how big this is
00:11:30| and he was just like wow hmm cuz it's so huge and it's so even there's something it's not even on the underside but unlike land itself levels because it's worth like do you know what I mean
00:11:44| like it's very there's yeah I said water no I said the word itself levels but you understand what I meant the fact that liquid can do that it doesn't like there's no extremely done so the most
00:11:54| dynamic thing you can look at this you're looking at water that's waves because of the moon and then win that's blowing in your face and it's crashing constantly and pulsing for it eventually
00:12:08| even crash is dropping its footer also what you think about it it's wild to think that you're seeing a wave that will never be duplicated kind of like I would know two snowflakes are saying no
00:12:20| two waves will ever be the same either no one says that because it's not a catchy phrase but like that's trippy yeah no two thumb prints are exactly the same they might be actually iris is
00:12:30| might be different who knows a wave I'm gonna find the same wave I want to prove you wrong you can't get a filler you get thousands of waves and just be like filing at end of my life like I've
00:12:39| proved him wrong I'm gonna [ __ ] on your grave and I'm gonna say you didn't account salt content that's some different salt yes way it could be like the best happens every episode how salty
00:12:52| is the ocean how salty is at three point two five million 2.5 percent yeah that's pretty good guess for making it up is it everywhere except I know we've discussed the Dead Sea in an episode so not that
00:13:05| but I'm gonna say no I'm gonna say that's an average and our blood our blood is salty like the ocean is that true false true point no is it one point knows less than one
00:13:20| percent like point nine percent I think it's nine percent oh shut the hell up we're not saltier than the ocean are we well maybe our blood or our bodies percentage of salt and blood nine
00:13:33| percent that's wild I tried less than one that is crazy I didn't think our blood was that well I guess iron salt it's okay no well no well it still is weird
00:13:45| so maybe I'm telling you there's something to be said about the call of the ocean we're gonna keep coming back to this Danny could pop primordial that's what the super made out of maybe
00:13:56| I wouldn't put it past life finding a way back to life or like throwing respect at like the beginning of life just a memory yeah like your genetics are just like
00:14:08| all right yep I came from there I remember you I remember long ago from time they might be others pisses cuz I I need to go wash it or sure no we we make the weekend so where do we go next to
00:14:25| people at the beach you want to talk about your adventures at the beach you want to say whether beaches are good or bad how about Beach people a beach aesthetic
00:14:32| I recently watched the beach which one what area Galveston Texas Texas that's one home one of the worst tornadoes in US history as far as death toll
00:14:42| we'll get into that another time interesting very interesting 1930s as a November so winter ish time it was still heavy yeah offseason but but there's still people there but not like like New
00:14:58| Jersey Beach so this is my contrast is that I thought it was going to be like I guess relaxing and like I'm not built that way and it was also there people but it
00:15:12| wasn't empty like I like to feel like the isolation which I don't think it exists I think there are people that go there and get stuck there and remain there and they're just like Beach people
00:15:21| we talked about before there's also memories of hey going to like the Outer Banks which is like oh you did a turbines as a youth I didn't know I didn't find it because shut
00:15:34| everyone did it yeah which is amazing and then there's like the New Jersey or Maryland Ocean City kind of a teaches way people boardwalk boardwalk is packed with people
00:15:45| oh yeah you go there teens teens freaking broast in your outfit telling you what you wear and looking at your shoes kids saying words you don't even know they got their cell phone on you
00:15:54| and I'm just like oh my god teenage it's a it's a group of teens walk quick walk quick my son has to pay please don't hurt me every time I go I'm approached by teens on a Jersey boardwalk that's my
00:16:07| immediate reaction he's a complete utter fear yeah all the time dude I was like let me load my kids just gonna pay and they're like look at this fool like an old man not cool and they're all
00:16:19| laughing the box and I'm like oh my god I gotta go you just meander past them accept my punishment oh my god we get through there I'm just breathing heavy my
00:16:29| girlfriend's like what happened I'm like I was walking dog to the bathroom and a group of teenagers roasted me they said these sandals are played out and old I'm like she's like it's okay and I'm like
00:16:43| okay thank you oh yeah that's what good teens hang out at the beach I'm telling you it's their thing they're everywhere it's one of the three where it's fun to go to the beach
00:16:53| for that reason is like you're looking for people people watching you're just gonna see people in their bikinis we have even talked about nudity mmm those nude beaches in America I don't think
00:17:07| it's against the law isn't it nude beaches right they think that America Florida idea there's not have a nude bunch of Mexico Florida would our that's so would it's gonna see a no there's
00:17:19| something there's something nice about having the old boys out you know what I'm saying when you uh there are D 0 number sure are they're really gonna say Beach New
00:17:29| Jersey and are you I think Oh girls imagine you'd be to New Jersey sound like a terrible time something awful no I'm not doing Jersey accents on here it'll come up later maybe yeah I
00:17:44| see my dog oh oh it's on an island oh it's Sandy Hook right next to st. you hook really no I'm trying to think anytime you hear about something going to a nude beach though it's never like
00:17:58| exciting or sexy it's usually just like gross yeah because the people you want to see at a nude beach earn not at the new time at the nude beach in fact there are two groups of people at the nude
00:18:08| beach the people want to see but people want to see the beautiful people so perverts and people just want to golf get women and men and look at nude bodies at the beach and giggle and you
00:18:20| know they're probably average looking at best some maybe not even and then the real old people or people who really don't give up who are not in the best of shape or could care less kind of like
00:18:33| really care less fun a big hit rock bottom so you got those two groups just nude at the beach hanging out hanging out make it France just hoping someone beautiful
00:18:43| shows up and Niemann it now and me minute now would you like if the audience raised enough money would you go to a new beat with beat with me and hold my hand as we walk down yeah yeah I
00:19:01| probably would yeah are you probably out allowed to film is there yeah I imagine there's rules against it now would someone that's possible that's probably like frowned upon no cell phones
00:19:14| probably you know no picture taking yeah probably I would imagine I feel like I'd become like I knew like what Eli Manning know is it Peyton Manning the meme that like the picture that always comes up
00:19:28| like hey check out this and then it's like instead of a rick roll it's like Peyton would like to have mass like that whatever that thing is you don't know that
00:19:37| I mean his helmet no yeah no crap I feel like that would become me like somehow someone's a picture and then like a half nude naked like you here yeah and clear white skinned like
00:19:50| like a blur would just become like the new meme and I wouldn't be able I wouldn't be able to live it down and everyone would know do you really think like everealm would know like if you
00:20:02| became a meme and this is since where we held hands and walked down the beach and someone took a picture from behind I feel like a seagull is gonna come by and like invite our crotches or something
00:20:12| like something very at the same time different bites [Laughter] neither of us really wants to get in there I know we're like you get it no
00:20:30| I'll get it no you get it no I'll get this I'm gonna wait we've all on like a kids shovel it's a lot of good memories we haven't had yet so nude beaches no I don't think I'm gonna do them unless
00:20:49| this podcast raise enough money don't you're number 100 by on out nothing paper [ __ ] when it cost more in gas and tolls just to get to this nude beach I'm not
00:21:01| trying to lose monkey whole dance with you and walk into a nude beach I want some coins in my pocket afterwards okay so hundred bucks plus gas yeah like a thousand ba flights are expensive too
00:21:19| yeah that's true figure out the number later donate here here and here it's a nude beaches no-go but like scantily clad beach like yeah I'm a fan and I there's a lot of
00:21:33| attractive people men women that's cool because you can bare yourself to the men you can go out get the ladies like you can it's kind of like a gym where we talked about the video sync receipts of
00:21:46| the gym there's Beach etiquettes right we didn't even touch on beach etiquette Oh Lord how close you're gonna say your your shovel and your umbrella up next to this
00:21:55| other couples and beach caddy on elinks well at least well it depends I think you just do even spacing so like if you had a hundred urinals and a guy's peeing here and here
00:22:06| and here you just evenly spaced it there's no actual number you just kind of dispersed evenly so that if there's ten guys evenly dispersed so on a beach you do the exact same thing if there's
00:22:17| only a few people at the damn Beach give everyone some room no need to be someone's business you know I don't know if you want like a little flag football game um no I think as you could
00:22:29| even when we play football on the beach though people don't tend to come over and want to play and I don't know if it's because we're daunting physical specimens or because we're rippling
00:22:39| muscle or like getting old and look like clowns playing you could do that too what's a classic classic do you know oh yeah Oh Nick and Deeks and moves just aren't slow [ __ ] you really aren't
00:22:55| moving that fast and and then on the sand on top of that you're really slow yeah yeah so some of the other beach etiquette before we get off of that is like you
00:23:03| control your kids and they're throwing sand don't mean it's like this this stuff happens like on a day-to-day basis for Beach people it's like oh there they go they said a seagull for you lady okay
00:23:15| the beach has rules it does you know it's terrible I want to have a mediation here on Oh relax what about real rules like lifeguard you can't go out into the wood or without a lifeguard isn't it
00:23:27| weird of course you can't even go into the water I don't think you can they whistle at you until you move who whistles at you the non lifeguard no the lifeguard
00:23:37| who's one stand over and says sir you can't go out there there's no lifeguard tent and you say I wish there was a person of that watch the lifeguard sure make sure he was there and if he wasn't
00:23:48| there he didn't act in this place but he whistled at people yeah yeah the lifeguards not here so what do you think he would tell you to stop I think I'm pretty sure I'm gonna check with him but
00:24:02| you comes in to buy logs yeah you have to listen to me sit over there he'll be back into it rude stop did you uh there's something weird that happens if
00:24:11| you go for a walk or whatever like you can get lost on the beach even though that sounds so stupid as an adult and we go every summer like three times a year we lost a seven-year-old have you got
00:24:25| lost did he show up there flipped [ __ ] dude she's screaming now so get the lifeguard lifeguard they start they have a system where they radio the other lifeguards and [ __ ] you know everyone's
00:24:36| involved and all the parents are asking where they've seen this kid no one's seen him in five ten minutes it's just he's a regular kid he's probably out throwing rocks at things or whatever
00:24:45| mm-hmm anyway that was like the scariest and then they have to radio all the lifeguards and it was good but I will say lifeguards also do the funniest thing in the world they have a system in
00:24:59| place at least new jersey ones where they have to run from one lifeguard stand to the next and do push-ups on their little orange buoy you have to do something else like there's another
00:25:11| exercise they do and they have to hand the buoy to someone else and take a different buoy and that person now has to run all the way down and do push-ups at the next stand and they do like
00:25:20| verbal communication in case there's ever like a radio outage and they need to communicate to each other and it's like a system in place for running between the lake arts and I think it's
00:25:30| hilarious I don't know it's like old school and weird and sort of unneeded like I've never seen a lifeguard save someone I've seen them do drills and stuff and yell at people but I mean
00:25:42| shout out I'm not dissing the job or anything it's just funny old school it kind of goes like policemen firemen lifeguard right Coast Guard military there's like there's like 5,000 other
00:25:53| ones in between and then like Franklin plan Beach lifeguard and then pool lifeguard where's it pool like our beach lifeguard do you think I feel like the pool
00:26:04| lifeguard probably does more work Louis yeah you think I feel like yeah like a home of each one does blows whistle but I guess he has an infinite worry that like he could sweat yeah this is like
00:26:15| buddy else real but you're the real real short yeah our shark crew jaws I saw YouTube videos it sharks aren't real have you ever actually seen one yes
00:26:27| I felt like I was lying there we just blew the whole thing wide open I can't see what I'll do in the wild do you do the OL go out of the ocean thing on a boat you don't weed out and
00:26:45| like play in the waves and all that breath so like certain beaches are weird cuz they're really steep and other ones like they are really black for a long time and you can get really far out and
00:26:53| still be like 3 feet deep waist-deep bush is unsettling which I don't like I don't like that either I'm being way far from the horizon like you can see the beach like over here and you're in the
00:27:06| water and it's only up to like your waist you're like something's off the earth is gonna shift yeah we're gonna go deep any minute now a wave Simon do you think that's the
00:27:14| basic six do you think it's because you grew up on Jersey beaches like if you grew up on those beaches you think Jersey beaches were weird how do you define a Jersey beach because the Jersey
00:27:24| Beach doesn't I don't recall it being very flat in between no it's in between it's my call it standard Beach that's why I'm basing it on where we fought yeah standard Beach you know you go out
00:27:36| you can go like 30 yards wait sergeant yeah waves are decent but they're not crazy big it's not a real steep incline it's not shallow either and then once you reach a point you're
00:27:49| like up to your chest you everybody stops nobody really goes further and that's where the way it's kind of break anyway so that's cool and the undertow is sweeping you away so it's hard to
00:27:56| fight it stop world-class swimmer right here which did you know um I'm probably better than anyone who ever listened this podcast or think about listening
00:28:08| it's pockets in body surfing yeah body surfing yeah like mom's really wonder if anything who are you know what that is surf on your own body yeah you you jump into the wave
00:28:19| and stick your hands straight out and you ride the waves man in the world Arnie or Artie you'd punch the waves well any different that's not body surfing by surfers realize in the world
00:28:34| you will find a bunch of four-year-old balding men who are screaming at their computer screens right now saying I will take you I am a body surf champion but most of them aren't
00:28:44| most of them ride the wave for like half a second and then like the wave gets away from them the trick is you have to dive into the wave so that your hands are sticking out of the wake and it's
00:28:54| literally propelling your body until you're ready to get up do you know how I learned I still remember this trial and error all right years old yeah sure I was five years old like that it was a
00:29:08| very good body surfer and he always wanted me to come out in the ocean so he's like you know hold my hand I'm afraid of the waves and everything and I still vividly remember this I don't know
00:29:17| why I'll wait a real big wave that was bigger than my head so over three and a half four foot tall home you are that age did you fart oh it was a creaky chair yeah I think you were covering for
00:29:29| the creaky chair smart move smart really smart if your nostrils make any weird motions I'll know dad brought me out into the waves we're in Jersey and a wave came and it was bigger than my head
00:29:49| and I was holding his hand like really hard because I was a scared little kid and the wave knocked me out of his hands and I remember I was underwater and I thought up was to go to the surface
00:30:00| except that I kept hitting the floor of the ocean I didn't realize I was upside down and then the wave a second wave must have come and started flipping me and I had no clue which way was up which
00:30:09| way was left which was right I was gonna cry and die because I hadn't bright breathed in almost eight seconds and I thought I was going to actually physically die in the ocean and I just
00:30:19| felt my dad pulled me up and I realized I was in water up to my waist or whatever but I could stand it you know I just remember sure if I was yeah I think so and then from there I wasn't as
00:30:32| scared for some reason and then now I love riding waves I'm like the wave ride King and I teach kids how to do it like the kids who went down the shore with their like eight and ten and their dad
00:30:44| was down there for two days so they're like we boogie-board sounds like let me show you the way of this skin and they're like excuse me sir and I was like the way of
00:30:52| the flesh I'm gonna dive right in come take a look at this I should them out of body Jericho is kind of cool I into a body sir it when you describe it it sounds good
00:31:08| I think it's one of the things about the beach is that you're thinking about all the stimulation all the visuals but you don't remember like the smell so I think the beach has a smell that's not that
00:31:17| great it's like that fishy smell I agree but I actually I tie it with so many happy members that I'm just like it's cool yeah like I I allow it I agree that by itself it wouldn't be a great smell
00:31:30| but when I smell it I think of the beach and I get happy so I'm like oh hell yeah Beach it's like it's like if you were addicted to racing and you smelled gasoline you're like wow like the smell
00:31:42| of gasoline itself isn't good but it would be special even though do you yeah the smell it's a weird smell to me I don't know I can I find it sort of addictive like you can keep smelling it
00:31:52| but it's not good would you describe that was good I've thought about this what was the thought it was a like recalling I guess recalling certain smells but I could
00:32:04| recall the smell of gasoline but certain smells are hard to recall like when you think of the beach you you visually see the beach and you see the waves sure and you see the Sun but you don't think
00:32:13| about the wind the sand blowing in your face the sand all of your body and then sunburns like you don't think about all the negative things that happen which I truly don't like I just like all those
00:32:28| things can't give me um so I'll tie in with what you're saying as a dad now we I'm one of the guys you see who rents those dumb ass carts or carts you ever seen these I don't know what you're talk
00:32:44| about car it's got like four wheels and it it's like a giant car and it's huge and you can stick for boogie boards three beach towels and umbrella three beach chairs 1940s couple shovels no no
00:32:57| you push it but it's got four wheels it's like a little like wheel cart yeah they pulled out yep yeah I got one of those so okay well when you we and then oh and then
00:33:09| we're heavy drinkers so we would put it like 30 beers into a nice cooler and then sandwiches in a different ice core and then juices for kids and then waters we were that people that you discussed
00:33:21| earlier who prepare for like nine months mm-hmm and the hardest thing in the world is just trudging all that garbage crap that you won't stay on the car and then pulling it through sand which is
00:33:32| borderline impossible because you don't have traction and it is sticking further in mm-hmm and then when you finally get it all they're like you can't just sit down and
00:33:41| enjoy yourself you have to prop up that umbrella you have to open all of those chairs you have to get out this you have to get someone a snack or a food or a drink
00:33:49| item you have to make sure no sand has touched anything because sand will stick to every single item it touches getting your phone can you use your phone look crunch alert that gets on the food how
00:33:59| do you explain to a kid there's sand on everything and you can't don't push amoris stop tasty don't do stop it idiot I hate you and just the whole time you're like maybe now I'll be able to
00:34:11| copy over listen to music and tune everyone out but you can't who's your dad and you have so many jobs yes so many things so and and I get burned because I don't use suntan lotion mm-hmm
00:34:24| i fiber URI upper I remember getting burnt mice were a little like so bad because I spent all day outside and I just like can't I get skin cancer anymore I'm just done with it so I'll be
00:34:38| good but I will say that the best part of the Fate aside from the skin cancer is I think packing all that stuff in your car and having everyone like having a destination and like you know your car
00:34:49| is so packed with crap that like people are awkward that I can't like they can't move because there's so much stuff in your car yeah yeah North Carolina does happen multiple times such a good month
00:35:00| not not on many of my trips and now see what you're describing is the beach effect you're literally oh my god this is crazy so this is a perfect example you were
00:35:12| saying that you don't like the beach because of sunburn and wind and all the uncomfort and sand that gets on everything but but you're describing this car ride exactly how I would
00:35:23| describe the beach you're like looking back we couldn't move like you had this propped up on your elbow you were stuck like this maybe you have a CD walkman and you can listen to the same CD four
00:35:32| times or something the pit stops were a big deal like it was like alright we're gonna stop yjp everyone's gotta pay everyone has to grab a drink not too big a trick because
00:35:42| you just beat and it's like you're describing it was all fun so like even the discomfort was fun even the the packing was fun even making it a big trip was fun even though technically it
00:35:56| sucked sort of parts of it I did right yeah but that's what the beach is sort of to most people I think right yeah it's this person adventure relaxation and fun but I think when you get there
00:36:10| it's not like no it's not no wait do you relaxed on the beach though so this is also my problem is that I can't read a book at this stage I'm just like I need to be doing something like a as long as
00:36:26| it's like if I'm getting like exercise in some way so I like if I'm in the waves I'm gonna swing around of them like letting my kids experience something they haven't experienced
00:36:36| that's cool yes but I can't I don't understand like going to pool and just sitting by it or like going to the beach and just sitting on a towel like to get sit there and get suntan it's just like
00:36:47| ridiculously stupid to me because it's it's cancer like you're just like okay I want to look good for for what reason and like expose myself to all sorts of I don't know it just doesn't I do it and
00:37:01| then I know you know I do it and I know you're getting your piece in but I'll tell you what it is it's that feeling when um your skin is actually cooking like that actual the colour really yeah
00:37:13| yeah is such a good feeling to me I love that feeling I'm not kidding I'm not making it up on my - like it I actually like that feeling and the other thing is 99% of my life it
00:37:27| cuz it physically feels good it feels like it's warming me up from the insights like when the temperature was cool enough to not make it like me too hot like when it can't give you like a
00:37:38| sunburn but it's like warming you up but what you're talking about like when it's like 90 something degrees outside and the Sun is still beating on you well I'm just talking about it I think that's the
00:37:47| Sun you don't even wear the suntan lotion no I don't know no I don't think it cancer actually when you put on right now ten years 20 X are you done yeah probably dude you're gonna get cancer -
00:37:58| it's gonna be from some like hanging on your computers we pin their hand radiation no that feeling I actually enjoyed that physical feeling I'm not saying I do I I like it it's I think
00:38:15| it's your cells responding like being killed light it up no no the other way over excited like it's like they've been pushed to their energy levels and they're like fluctuating and your skin's
00:38:27| cooking and it's like the only way reaction our melatonin is gonna change here because you've got way too much energy come pouring into these cells and it's like killing it off that is one
00:38:37| that I like so like I'm a scab picker yeah like when I get sunburn can you peel it off you get it as one big piece Austrian back scratch they wanted miss someone else scratches it off for you oh
00:38:51| I hardly ever peel though I guess my body just metabolizes the cancer huh it just turns tan I get dark as hell I love it and the other thing is that you don't
00:39:03| appreciate is that whole when I sit there and I can usually I will listen to music okay so I do have a stimulus but that's it I just listen to music like shirtless chillin I can feel that
00:39:16| cooking feeling I don't hear anyone I don't have any kids when this is going on I don't have any girlfriends just like I'm doing there anything you're just hope he's out in the ocean and we
00:39:26| don't even know if there's a lifeguard on duty I'm like no it's this hardly ever happens this happens like twice a year now I have a kid hmm it's like this ultimate relaxation where
00:39:36| no one can talk to me I can feel and it's gonna sound stupid that my nationality I tan more than like the average person but less than like super dark people so I'm in-between but like I
00:39:52| feel like I'm meant to tan does that make sense there are certain people that can accept sunlight and certain people that cannot right and but I feel like when I'm tanning that's what my skin is
00:40:03| made to do like I was made like it feels like being home the same way you in a fresh plow of snow I feel if I were to say so myself but Chris you know that feeling on one cheek yeah would you you
00:40:16| appreciate that don't you yeah it's snow angels sure whatever call it sand castles I don't mind saying castles that's no I'm not good at saying Gotham I so when I was younger I
00:40:30| remember doing this like all day long because it's elaborate like making towns and to do big house and the house is oh you try to prevent it each gave me folks yeah those little uh little Crabbie's
00:40:42| that you can get there like in the sand like that creeped me out and now I see every kid who I'm around is doing and they're like check this out hey mr. neck or whatever they call me I don't even
00:40:54| remember they're like kind of like ah that's great that's neat awesome Oh get away from me get away from the kid yeah you think bro split up I'm not as afraid anymore more no 30-something
00:41:06| years old I can be slightly afraid of em still you're saying show me this tiny crap he looks like me crying and I'm like I got you you son of a [ __ ] all these years I don't know it's such a
00:41:27| dynamic thing it's like it will never be the same but it's like it's so picturesque that you picture it to be the same not yeah right I I agree with that and you're supposed to enjoy it
00:41:39| so like that's another thing it's like the people that like retire early or like go on those vacations okay where they have to go right thank you they buy their yacht they go to the
00:41:50| beach and they relax and they get bored of it I feel like do they get bored of it I know you would do you think they do do those people who just enjoy I don't know I don't know like Taipei people
00:42:02| that are always trying to do something like I don't think they can enjoy just sitting on a beach and soaking it up so can anyone okay good yeah I think you could I don't I don't I don't know that
00:42:17| you're go go go oh no I'm not all right I think it's apparent from if she was trying to beat anybody no I'm not I mean I granted I would get bored of doing that every day I would just people if it
00:42:33| was just you on the beach how many days could you just go to the beach and just soak it up and enjoy it and tan and feel this like say it totally say it's always nice weather and can I work out like in
00:42:45| the mornings or an afternoon or something like that whenever you take a nice shower you have to spend like four hours at the beach I could probably do that for years for your ears yeah [ __ ]
00:42:57| give me like well do you know do you know why though because I'm still picturing myself going home playing bass one night doing work on this project one night maybe writing a book reading a
00:43:08| book doing the workouts every day I would find things to do physical activities that weren't the beach but then still enjoying the beach now are you telling me it's the same sunny day
00:43:17| every day for four years I would drive me insane they're happy because of me David it's raining snowing for ya like I don't know I think I still need the seasons I still need crappy days I still
00:43:30| need all that stuff do we want to do though each one it's sailing like when there's snow on I hat wait I talked to someone about this recently at work it's the weirdest feeling in the world have
00:43:40| you ever been on a beach you know it's snowing no it's so quiet it's [ __ ] nuts it's it reminds me of how Christmas feels like you know how Christmas has that magical editing and
00:43:52| you're like by yourself nothing but but the UM the Christmas they portray like the actual magic of Christmas where it's the night before and everything
00:44:01| or no one's outside it's like yeah and and you just hear the wind and this weird magical sound that's how it really sounds when it snows at the beach because snow deadens the sound of
00:44:12| everything and like you combine that with the steady noise of the waves and it's like a quieter it's like they quieted the the waves and the stuff disappears into the water as it hits cuz
00:44:24| it doesn't it doesn't stick so all these like snowflakes that you see as far as the eye can see are touching the order and just like dissolving right away and it's like it's like almost like a ghost
00:44:34| town or a magical thing that's happening it's just it's it's crazy as hell and I recommend everyone quit their jobs and go to a beach and sit one of snows well then wait for it to snow baby it is
00:44:48| really cool I'm sure if you live near the beach and you see it snow all time it's probably like yeah it happens all the time shut up but I only seen it like three
00:44:55| times so it was nuts now what about um the end of Shawshank Redemption and I said that because I didn't want to say the name of the sail studio thank you I knew you were gonna
00:45:08| say yeah he's on the beach do it he's sanding a boat he's hose yes he has hope the greatest of all things we know mm-hmm yeah could I do that yeah if I was a runaway fugitive living in Mexico
00:45:25| and I had to have a goal I think having a boat in like fishing the ocean and like providing for yourself not having to own land so that's another thing is like boating cuz I think I think I think
00:45:39| got a lotta boating or a beach man really so like yeah you've probably done more than I I know people that have boats and it's never like it's never like it always like no it seems like the
00:45:52| worst thing in the world much to do it's TV shows numbers very much funny so much money and gas and it's always need to repair and always needs this and then you got to find the dock to put it in
00:46:05| and you got to pay the people with the dock then you have to figure out a way to get it in the water then you get a your vehicle then you gotta get everyone else in here then you can drive around
00:46:12| and do your thing but then it's like nighttime where you're gonna put your boat is gonna stay at the dock is it gonna go here rules I need the license it's like the freedom of going out and
00:46:22| doing whatever you want it just disappears like you're not in free like when are you free to do anything you want to go where you want to go like I don't never like me - yeah never maybe a
00:46:34| third world country no no no vacation video in video games no they have rules - mmm parameters and regulations mmm they should make a game where you can do
00:46:45| anything even play the game you're playing for free rob a bank be great and then suffer the consequences to jail yeah it is I'm thinking of GTA but like GTA times 10 like GTA where there's
00:47:00| actually the insides of buildings I think yeah and like you can go inside a building and maybe sign up for high school again and they're like sir we never do this but you can go back to
00:47:11| high school and you can go and sit in an hour-long class just detention there's and there's a test at the end of a week and if you miss classes well sorry test scores are gonna suffer and then at the
00:47:21| end of it you can get a job working a minimum wage and you're gonna wake up set your alarm you better not sleep through it and then you get paid dude sounds so good I want
00:47:30| that freedom I'm just so free I can get a minimum wage job and just work it and pay off my school loans and then I can do whatever I want that's so realistic and mail gets sent
00:47:44| to my house but sometimes you forget your online password and then you don't remember how to log into your bank account but you got to call your man go to a world Monday at 8 p.m. and it's
00:47:53| like oh this game is so cool this is the King feel like we're gonna Rob this Bank we're gonna go to this Bank we're gonna get jobs we're just gonna work those jobs for years we're
00:48:05| gonna be taking all that money take it all my money - like after 20 or 30 years we're gonna be able to retire with that money sounds very cute feel
00:48:19| so since like a job inside job so the beach hmm ha ha thumbs up Sam it's one of the things that has so many the shirt on my bathing suit yes like I like what about these
00:48:33| do you enjoy bins who shorts I don't really like them no what's with the match is that to help me to her yeah I aim to know where boxer briefs like come on well so what's so what is
00:48:43| the point in the net I don't remember is it because you're supposed to pokeball also keeps your junk like as if it's underwear it's like fake underwear I don't know
00:48:52| that's one thing I never liked as a kid to the sands like a weird and it's like never comfortable you can see more than that yeah gets in your cracks your crevices you know what it's probably to
00:49:02| hold your sea snacks hold your goods but it lets sand and water back out it goes under her which might not it Desson defies your crotch area I guess but even then I'm pretty sure if you go to the
00:49:14| beach though you could have pebbles that are quite much 64 millimeters large you fit that in your pants cups you better have a larger or millimeter there yeah cojones couple bones Oh pebbles I am
00:49:27| settle to get some pebbles it's weird there's so many things that like it has its own its own Lola like like microcosm and so total atmosphere is environments like everything can be Beach related
00:49:42| like everything hats sunglasses her own she have their own pizza joints at least in Jersey and stuff in Thank You Minkus right you ever heard my oh we got the plates that are uh right the um they
00:49:55| have saltwater taffy hey do you have anywhere else like to fresh meat fudge Oh fudgie wudgie man dude he's rolling down the beach and he goes
00:50:08| tramcar please watch the tramcar please all that stuff it's wild teenagers roasting you on the boardwalk like it's like whoa the seagulls like they're vicious dad you missed up it's
00:50:21| our walk I haven't been to the boardwalk in 20 laughs long I love it and I hate it cuz I don't like crowds but for some reason it makes me I got into a real big fight with my nail girlfriend and we
00:50:38| were down the Jersey Shore like where they filmed Jersey Shore oh yeah oh we didn't talk about that North points no we didn't talk about that one the north points every with the name of the
00:50:46| beaches is it North Shore North Beach I don't for you know anyway we were literally staying like five houses away from where they stayed in Jersey Shore it was the big deal I have no idea cuz I
00:50:58| I've watched her as a short reunion but I never watched the original that much like some of them I think I would see them but it wasn't a watcher I know who Omar obviously know doesn't say which
00:51:10| Beach point it was I don't know anyway just really close to New York it's like we're all in New York people go to hang out the beach Staten Island anyway so there's so many beaches like all that
00:51:21| whole it is way anyway um we stayed at this Beach a bunch people were doing E I'm not going to say whether your boy had some didn't have some and I remember I got into such a big fight that I went
00:51:37| off on my own and found these kids that were like 19 20 and 21 and they were all wasted face on the roof of the place I was staying and I was like yo wasted I got food yeah and I
00:51:49| was like 27 or 28 you know like you know what's up guys I'm an old man and I was drinking with him hanging out and they were like telling jokes and stuff I didn't understand and they were
00:52:00| like yo man my boys on Special K I was like hey man that Special K for breakfast I made it I made a cereal joke like a real serial to him he was like no man that's a drug and I was like oh yes
00:52:17| - okay yeah um oh you guys were partying and doing what and it was like ketamine and some kind of horse tranquilizer and don't know cuz like god damn it and I was like I was
00:52:29| really like sorry for the kids but sorry that I wasn't there to try the drug earlier yeah and it was weird because I feel like the boardwalk is where the debauchery begins yeah we didn't have
00:52:44| girlfriends you cheat on you with other men yeah is that where they do it good well it's where Senior Week starts right yeah Senior Week yeah exactly that's what I
00:52:57| said that's like our school didn't have the senior we did it's all day today that's much dude yeah I guess that's why that's probably why anyway everyone else's school had senior weeks I went to
00:53:09| us I'm senior weeks but like senior week is where the the first place where I was hearing people be like yeah we just woke up and we were gonna have cereal and we decided to put beer in it and call it oh
00:53:20| and I was like how did it taste they're like oh it's bad we didn't finish it sounds like so cool you did it I was high-fiving guys for inventing burial which I'm sure wasn't their
00:53:31| invention huh but like that's like guess where you get to be bonehead Matt Dumas yeah yeah it's it's so that's another thing the feel of all the places they're always like old and rundown and grimy
00:53:49| and they have that like and the same thing with the sand and the salt these places it's all wood and all the paint is peeling on all of it yeah partly because of the weather but I mean
00:54:02| because it's also old and not very upkept mm-hmm and they're all competing place people and they kill each other places we're talking about her for not tourists but idiot yeah low income
00:54:14| dumbass - [ __ ] for a week and trash your place anyway so what are we gonna yeah there's like a majority of people are just going there to like not give a [ __ ] about anything really we need to
00:54:28| talk about that like half of these houses are rental over half way overhead like how many people stay there all year round versus don't in Jersey they have terms for
00:54:38| these it's like shooby versus the other bees no bird-like kinda like a Florida for nesting birds do they have news words yeah like Snowbird as Florida is like
00:54:49| the people I call a home to the north's or wherever the yeah but like that's a dynamic too because that affects industry that affects literally jobs that affects the economy which is crazy
00:55:02| it ain't it you can't tax the people that don't really live there maybe the horizons that are there I guess so the other thing is like entire businesses run or don't run according to what
00:55:14| season it is yeah it's kind of wild that's a whole different world than where most people live look you can't be a seasonal thing like whoa my business only runs for four months and we are
00:55:25| gangbangers and then we don't do [ __ ] it's like well what do you do oh I have a different job and it's like so you have an eight month job in a warm-up job that's weird to me but your summers are
00:55:38| so short for from May June July and August and then BOOM and then maybe a month like a plus or minus yeah I guess I don't know you can even charge different rent for the house which is
00:55:51| why you went to the beach in November I'm guessing mmm I did not select it that's a guy kicked out beside dogs but giving you really got kicked out wait did you yeah I thought you're saying the
00:56:09| whole weekend that didn't happen no I hate the beach were you were you going to it was I mean that's how what we booked it for we did to get your money back yeah we did okay
00:56:21| that's hilarious so who called you who dined you out the owner showed no wonder because I guess like walking it like where we as a so we air being beat it name drop but the person name that's
00:56:34| whatever you call it corporate sponsorship but gene not really but yeah we thought the person we asked like the first question was like do you love dogs they're just like okay just like they
00:56:45| didn't respond they just said like accept whatever like book the place essentially it's like they consider an invitation it's not part of the chat so it's
00:56:54| separate I just want to make sure that's clear so it was understood that dogs were allowed but when we got there it said like no dogs allowed on premises so like every time we went to walk them
00:57:03| there was like security like security was around so they like spotted us and then be like hey I supposed to have dogs here so like they got the hint and then I guess someone must have been like once
00:57:14| dog I cuz those type of people little C chewed what if you made the trip thinking dogs were allowed and then found out they weren't you can't change your mind or walk the dog back it's not
00:57:25| like a Mets code but drop the dog off and just like make a trip back like we're like an hour away so it's like I could theoretically hours away because that's the ideal location from the shore
00:57:35| as well get into you can't do jack [ __ ] about it so like you pretty much have to leave that's stupid hmm I agree what's interesting it brings us to our product placement another
00:57:46| night um here at the impaler's we're sponsoring a bronze knife it's a small bagger it's about eight inches you can bring this with you um yeah sort of it's in that in that mean jean genre
00:58:01| anyway this bad boy has made it uh 32 G plated copper it's good for a lot of sort of things a lot of a tricky little maneuvers you can carry this it's not detectable by a metal detector
00:58:14| you can fart and move your chair I think that's how thank you for farting you could bring this with you on vacation guess what on vacations when people get robbed and stuff you wouldn't bring this
00:58:25| on vacation someone says your dogs not allowed boom guard is down you have no idea what happened could be anything you could have just fallen over and blood could be spurting out you're not in
00:58:35| trouble you're on vacation you can bring this bad boy with you anywhere you want to bring into the doctor's office make sure doctor give you a clean bill of health
00:58:43| boom all I'm gonna say is you would think this cost like 39.99 at least right not to use coupon code and err err we got links here here and here you can bring this baby anywhere I keep wanting
00:59:00| to say school but I'm not gonna make that joke soon to be sold out soon to be sold out everyone check them out seriously not for school anywhere but school so that was from our sponsor
00:59:14| I think it's Gidget knives and get it nice giggle it anyway check it out sings a really badass and I think if you had taken this on vacation that guard wouldn't have told on you or you'd be in
00:59:26| jail so I'm just saying maybe bring it with you and take a slice out of vacations you know what I'm saying yeah then the back pocket yeah so I actually naturally showing up to
00:59:43| that place it was smaller than we expected Bry mere than we expected older than we expected and a little bit more uncomfortable so yeah I personally I don't do kids enjoy the beach do they
00:59:59| see it I mean have they ever seen a beach at what point to your kids actually get like the beach like did they get ideas for yeah mine was we walked on the beach and he was like
01:00:10| playing with a sand and like doing things with it and I'm like I guess he gets it but you look in his eyes and they're so dead and you're just like you don't
01:00:18| well he's literally looking for fun and activities and this is just a bunch of really really really tiny fine pebbles by definition like I don't know what to do with this why are we here what are we
01:00:32| doing a removing soon I can undo me like maybe I don't know babies can't relax you can't relax you're just like a baby that's one thing I did like that drive back I think on Thanksgiving Day I
01:00:48| didn't shower like I didn't have any time like we're doing stuff constantly until we got kicked out all right are you a two two showers a day guy right I'm I'm somewhere between one and two
01:00:59| that's so wild because the way you just said that you're like you're like bragging about not showering for a day and I was like dude it's probably been two days for me my co-workers probably
01:01:08| hate me that's gross yeah I'm gross I understand I understand more about you next answers in the ocean do you feel cleaner when you bathe in the ocean I counts as a
01:01:21| shower absolutely 100% that's a bad day it's you in the Army is like it's a bad thing I saw I saw I am an older man diarrhea no no no did your body surfing oh it
01:01:42| didn't beat me a body surfing I'll tell you that via amber - so someone did a number well Nicole on the internet and it was educated number two in the ocean and like yeah I want to say eight
01:01:57| percent said yes eight percent yeah at cold how did what sales out there's so many the amount of crap in the ocean from other animals sure listen fish pee and
01:02:10| poop I got it like okay I understand but I'm afraid of things crawling in there oh do you do the whole is that why you don't hang out in the deep part do you hang out water that's like up to your
01:02:23| chest where you can't see the floor just shot I don't like it it's weird I feel like that yeah things are always around you but you just Kiwis ya know I used to be afraid of that as a kid Africa what
01:02:33| happened I think I just stopped caring or hating my life or whatever it is but it's done anyway what if his nighttime could you stay in the water for his pitch Blanc
01:02:40| no I think that would freak me out actually yeah midnight surfing yeah now have that no 100% no how about um surfing in general have you ever tried it
01:02:52| I have not did her my um my boss right now he's a big into surfing and all that and he's not very in shape or anything and I'm like yo my man serves he's like yeah it's pretty cool it's get into it
01:03:05| he's like it takes a lot to practice and he was really good at snowboarding so that probably helped him in it I think come on I was a keeper aboard probably between 50 used and like 4,000
01:03:19| for a brand-new state-of-the-art a cork pitted whatever mother at tre line vsync whatever vsync graphics card turn 300 and 400 bucks just to end your 150 bucks use Amazon you looked at they used ones
01:03:40| no I'm just it's the same with everything dude take it hard for any price sir word yeah think about it you can get anything a crappy used version of something for 50
01:03:52| bucks you can get a super top-of-the-line version of something for as far as like hobby items I'm talking about guitars right I just lost yes you know anything happens let's get a couple
01:04:08| of friends holding hands wieners flopping in the breeze hmm some people might like that I don't know I hope I hope I don't I don't think I'd like it but now I'd have to should I trim my
01:04:23| butt hair I don't know no sure I always wanted to like go swimming and be like professional swimmer and like tie myself and then like go full body wax and see how much my time approves never your
01:04:39| weight naked doing me oh yeah I understand actually you're probably more streamlined with the speedo than naked I would assume so but my whole premise is that I'm naked in both instances okay
01:04:53| one shapes and one completely hairless hair other people's hair just cover me in brillo pads and call it even no no we're different people I think you enjoy the beach to a degree but you
01:05:14| don't love it I think I can do the whole get assault life sticker flirt on my car yeah I don't think I could ever own a boat unless I lived there full-time and I didn't have to worry about my fishing
01:05:27| a boat it's like a yacht where I use like I want to create my own bowl of my own reality on that boat so I don't know so it's like camping without nature yes it's exactly 100% get what you're
01:05:40| getting at yeah you're like like I'm dizzy every time a source I need yeah hundred percent involved in here and it's just along the ocean I just want to [ __ ] all over nature in the environment
01:05:49| and say [ __ ] you earth I can do whatever I want that's fair wasn't but there's something to be said for getting back to the grass roots dude tan Annette pale pale skin
01:06:02| ears I'm telling you maybe you'd feel a little bit of nature calling back you know you were in a pool with her shark I think you could kill that shark with a spear before it killed you uh yeah you
01:06:13| know why because I doubt it's coming right I mean to kill me like it's hungry and thirsty and everything so I have the advantage of first strike it's probably not gonna attack me unless I attack it
01:06:21| if I make the first move I'm gonna go right for its goddamn eye and I'm gonna make sure it lunges in and I can hold it at bay act like I need a five-foot radius and at that point I'm gonna drive
01:06:31| it straight into the rest of the shark and just if it's coming at me guess what I'm using its own strength against it I thought about this man yeah oh oh oh planned out
01:06:40| now if the shark is hungry and I'm covered in chum no I got no chance it's gonna come around and bite my ass but I get first strike maybe maybe I just I had okay though right I think we're good
01:07:03| baby so you didn't hear any crack it's kind of Barisan its finest its internal inside so the beach is there anything we missed you'd like to cover you like to speak
01:07:19| about I guess once you go it always stays with you well that's and you can never get all the sand out you know I had some poison ivy on my balls
01:07:30| down the beach now we've mentioned this on the pocket why would you do that to yourself oh it was not planned or are you naked in a bush of poison ivy hike titrant I was going on vacation to the
01:07:44| beach and right after I landscaped and cut down a tree I thought it was a tree I think it was poison sumac or poison oak like trimmed my body hair right before I John - eyeballs come in contact
01:07:56| with the sumac well it's just the oils that are on you so it's all my hands and I was tripping the chest I trimmed this I had it all over my ears you know what this area solution that is he got a
01:08:08| shower more Nick or I was showering that night I showered five minutes afterwards but it was too late once once I was and you don't shower before you trim your body hair duh
01:08:21| I'm gonna shower in the men's room that's stupid it's written right before a shower and I trim this area I trimmed into my chest trim a little bit of the Nick they're done here and guess what
01:08:32| poison ivy here here here here you never said what happier to that because you have like like bleeding random /pha [ __ ] penis I don't know what's going on there
01:08:43| issues and then of even pouring it to the baby powder and some other mix no no um there's a antihistamine like spray that dries it Rilke yeah oh my god I would spray that on my balls
01:08:59| and the pain like at ten huh I don't want that nice like I said it was it would cauterize the wound as we would say hanger ball and then I would go out to the beach the next day
01:09:14| and get sand all over the body part that was sensitive to just mmm I just so I don't like it either I hate the beach there go into the ocean come back out and walk like a stick bigger
01:09:28| like that we're good I love the beach so yeah hate the beach j/k love the beach the best part is coming back and showering in your own shower knowing there's no sand to be in
01:09:40| your future yeah and it's probably going like the little bits that are behind your ears or in your hair or and your socks or you can find them everywhere in your lands
01:09:50| like the salt like when we're reading in the salt your hands get like coffee I don't understand how the beach the whole area else isn't the whole 30 mile radius how do their drains all work there's
01:10:03| just sand constantly going down them like this just just keeps going I guess I don't know cuz it's like some drains right in the ocean only 8% of people believe in pooping you know that's
01:10:15| what's the wholeness state of New Jersey it's all I do launch that triple trebuchet into the ocean it's a wildest thing you saw the beach so a couple having sex last year
01:10:27| that's can't breathe in the deep that'd be comfortable it's just like people like underneath the boardwalk doing drugs likely not the people that do my friends were probably doing Special K
01:10:37| down there saying yeah no they look like they're permanent bombs a talking about like um they do the scene in requiem for a dream that's really good about needles and they say it freaks me well stop the
01:10:53| other part is like the when it gets so packed during the summers at the sweaty bodies you can't avoid and then II like slide through people it's just disgusting I can it is getting birthed
01:11:06| by to larger people in the middle of the sand dune it's they're larger I like it like when they would have to be able to fit me through them both that's a good point for your birth metaphor the many
01:11:19| of their smaller people get like alien is bust right through their chest yeah I guess so yeah also also birth but for an alien hmm interesting [ __ ]
01:11:40| thumbs up at your beach yeah say the other thing is just real quick um where my location is photos off the area uh-huh the beach is cool because it's also a getaway in event yeah it's like
01:11:51| it's like an hour and 45 it's like between an hour and a half and two hours and you take the same road to the same Beach points that everyone else in the entire state pretty much goes to yeah so
01:12:03| it's like everyone goes to one of like points yeah go to Ocean City go to Sea Isle and like when you go to these places you find people who are like hey where are you from and it's like oh I'm
01:12:18| from your town oh we're right across the street from you hey neighbor and it's the weirdest thing where you see people who are like from five minutes away and you both came to ours
01:12:27| and you could have gone in any direction but you came to the beach and it's like cool like you have a thing in common you both made the March the the adventurer pilgrimage but thank you that's actually
01:12:41| the word I think I was implying yes and you loaded up your car and you couldn't move your arms or your legs and you said not shut up we're not pulling over any more times and you unloaded as much crap
01:12:56| as you could into this little house you rented for a week and it was a crappy rental and every time you go to the beach you have to load up your beach cart with so much so much junk it's
01:13:06| garbage you're not gonna use it on why are we bringing it all and then there's just a little bit of sand that's gonna get in someone's drink someone's I saw once like a home someone has to pee we
01:13:14| just walk back here we don't have a key but it's so good overall I don't care I enjoy it that Sun starts cooking your skin you don't care about your family or any
01:13:29| money I wish I could like drugs you can too with my helpful seminars stay tuned after the empennage while will release my secret on achieving Zen or as I like to call it not showering
01:13:45| drinking Nick secret sauce drink in the sequencer on slider on the secret sauce I'm gonna stream the secret sauce right into your ears it's a spot to put it well we talked about every
01:14:02| beach point didn't we we touched on all seagulls this time two sequels kind of peaceful at a distance I know any link yeah he'll of clothes yeah especially if you get food and there's
01:14:14| like hundreds of them alka-seltzer does not blow them up I don't know where that started but doesn't kill I give you gifts and feed the knockers house area it's supposed to kill them um yeah it's
01:14:27| supposed to make their stomachs girl and explode I think it's a urban myth hmm or maybe we just never got one to eat the alka-seltzer you wrap it in bread or whatever but it doesn't work beach myths
01:14:41| oh one of my goals was I wanted to punch a seagull and get it caught on film I've never done it never tried it they're smarter than you they they know not to get near you I'm sorry
01:14:52| Smosh doesn't always win my friends sometimes brawn wins sometimes Bronwen long as man vodka seagulls punching a flock of seagulls as he goes as in the lead singer from the band the one with
01:15:09| the crazy hair cut yeah I can see that all right I think we're winding down here all right line down all right so we hope the best Ruby's voice is all temperature Z let's go quicker okay so
01:15:21| today today's the worst day of your life that's pretty pissed off I don't know how it's the doctor from whatever I've hear what he's from but hilarious the Friar Tuck from Robin Hood many bad
01:15:42| things look up these celebrities they're always dead is he dead you think I bet Oh holding up all right are you gonna go through Friar Tuck it's probably easier than looking him up
01:15:51| through um watching the ball I wasn't the amendment office miss oh thank you good boy Red Sea Isle Ocean City CI Ocean City Cape May on your way to Cape May shut
01:16:08| the hell up yeah baby that's New Jersey for you and then if you go down to Maryland you got Ocean City you got that's it and then if you go to Delaware you got do we we're
01:16:17| hope with fun do we were hold with the third one I forget it oh and then I'm actually going to a couple other Delaware Beaches [Music]
01:16:30| what's his name the name his name is Michael McShane sweet I like Michael Mosley he's like in a kids movie or something that are gorgeous a bug's life bug's life and know something else where
01:16:46| he's the act Oh is he the dude in um Macaulay Culkin movie professor who invents things Richie Rich don't forget her okay
01:16:57| good new my hockey might not be oh I thought you were on IMDB in Miami and my nothing it's Richie Rich with it or uh no or ninety maybe no I'm rich it's rich like the word rich like filthy
01:17:14| stinking rich anyway beaches are kind of what bring us all together it's like a first vacations from you yes though the vacation that doesn't really cost anything to experience well you have to
01:17:28| get the house but I guess you could go for the day yeah but your abs a rent a place to stay anyway so like as a family beach are is the free park you know yeah for attractions
01:17:41| yeah you're right I'm sort of a Vermonter yeah I Beach oh I think it wait you have to paint down a new Beach I mean if you want someone to be attracted to you you have to pay for
01:18:02| like the beach it's like it's Universal it's it's ingrained in the American psyche it's vacation it's where we go it's what we do it's relaxation but you're really in like the Sahara or like
01:18:14| oh the beach and they like just picture a fool head like no you're you're talking about water we're talking about the sand no no sad no scent yeah I guess so yeah
01:18:30| if we didn't mention your Beach you can put it in the comments below if you think going to the beaches come quiet beautiful you're wrong or you're not a dad you can comment in section below if
01:18:42| you hate the beach and you friggin think it's the worst vacation idea in the world and there's no redeeming quality for yeah exactly you can I say this in the comments below
01:18:52| as well I agree probably you're probably pale you probably like computers let's move on like to be stimulated mentally and physically that's it that's all I got
01:19:07| that's the beach wipes a beach and then you die I'm getting us all away that's a salt life hopefully he's like oh that's not where I would put it on my back but yeah each cheek salt life salt like baby
01:19:26| I can smell it now I like the picture you hate the beach that's fine yeah I don't know if I have it I think I said my piece hmm I wonder when this episode will release hopefully it's the middle
01:19:45| of winter and people are like this is not relevant to me or end when we'll be able to the end people are thinking yeah that is also since we've been talking for a long time now I bet they're
01:19:58| waiting and waiting waiting for the end to come I just want to die like they're sitting here waiting there like this like once we've heard this much I just kind of want to see if they see anything
01:20:08| else how many people will actually get turn off right now I'm putting with that big and there's like eight more seconds and it's like oh I didn't catch the last eight seconds I didn't care
01:20:15| now I feel like there's no winners you're still listening you know all of them are still with me well folks it's been good yeah we do know like you a lot life's a beach
00:00:16| stuck up your crack people rolling around in the dunes get it in your eyes in your mouth can't get rid of it that feeling sticks the salt ah it's all in your body all over I
00:00:28| hate the beach so I'm Dan and I'm Nick folks we're old friends dissecting one topic at a time deep we'll take our G medium we've got it all covered each discussion here is a
00:00:48| deep dive in or unique perspective taboo forbidden subjects they're all on the chopping block baby we don't pander to popular opinion but Mike you can get a little bit dirty morning this podcast
00:01:02| may contain mature language and sexual content and is for entertainment purposes only join us [Music] [Music]
00:01:30| can you do that little riff he does though the Hawaii yeah I haven't that's other song there's like a teeny teeny Camozzi kind of kind of no any can it be nippy number please for me I know it is
00:01:46| the sounds I don't know yeah no what do you cannot beat it has like a little like symphonic riffs I guess I do anyway looks like we're live we're live here on
00:02:03| Dan panders I'm Dan Nick Oh Nick I wanted to go first this time you always go first hmm starting to bother me really but I always know
00:02:13| gentleman is not a gentleman yeah so we're here to talk about life's a beach right thanks I should say that for the last line it's all my salt layers of each soul life bro so that's
00:02:28| that time of year folks yeah buddy could be middle water could be summertime who knows there may have been snow outside today who cares yeah it's the image of the be peeling off the beach that's my
00:02:47| favorite thing as I get older um I think could be just like my favorite vacation thing really yeah it is it is one of those change that would buy into yeah I would I do it's the it's
00:02:59| the image of vacation right summertime freedom relaxation you said if you say vacation everyone pictures the beach it's like the go-to it's the the mascot for not vacation my problem
00:03:11| is that no one ever goes to the beach and brings like Oh a gaming computer and then like just games on the beach like if you had a LAN party on the beach I think I think I would like to be super
00:03:22| hot you're cranking your cores etc etc your fans are running you got a la I can I love your power in you guys I wish there was like an outlet these so sit down yeah just here it was clean energy
00:03:34| they're saying idea solar mm-hmm solar oh damn oh be hot mm-hmm so what is a beach by definition doesn't have to have sand at I wonder that's a great question I wish you would have looked
00:03:48| this up beforehand Nick I wish I would have as well but we all know I'm the slacker so I will stall for time while you cook a beach into the Kapiti what is look at it you damn idiot yeah I imagine
00:04:07| it's gonna be like any anywhere where water is constantly hitting the earth and pounding it into sand a pebble er sandy shore especially by the ocean between high and low water marks
00:04:21| interesting so water has to constantly be changing has to be that it's a middle zone you can't be above high water and be on the beach or below water and be on beach
00:04:31| yeah well then you're in the ocean yeah unless the ocean recedes with the changing of temperature and time to change and then the whole world could be a beach oh why it's a beach here we go
00:04:43| again the interesting like that definition most of the ones we know are fairly tropical is there a reason for that tropical beaches because no one gives a
00:04:53| [ __ ] about like old beaches so there are just as many cold beaches had no idea probably right sorry Mike maybe it matters to like them it says so no you guys like pebbly
00:05:07| beaches you know there's probably rocky shorelines and yeah Siberia rocky shoreline be a beach if it's pebbly it might be really because it it might be like regal pebbles mall like maybe you
00:05:19| can only like sit on it like it's not very large like if it's a steep Beach it makes a definite you'll enjoy the definition for the size of the pebbles can you sit on it can you just nimbly
00:05:29| involving you fit it fit the beat in your bum what is the size of a pebble wow that's a great question we can use google questions all day this like thing it's a class it's a ring it's a class of
00:05:44| rock I don't know what class means how do I not know these things huh I've heard of the term class actually I know I had I'm a hundred percent sure in fact is it like shale or some kind of
00:05:55| sedimentary that's a fragment of clastic rock which are composed of arguments or classes of pre-existing minerals and rock fragment geological Tetris chunks and smaller grains of rock broken
00:06:08| off other rocks by physical weathering a clastic rock that's it's pretty hot so we got some classic rock we got beaches gold 1/2 into 64 millimeters 64 millimeters ooh 64 165 molecular can be
00:06:23| I guess sand is probably below as intense they see size of sand size of sand we know it's good TV folks yep anything from Oh point zero six to two milliliters
00:06:43| millimeters millimeter square that's interesting not squared no well what about the other one so if you have a something that's really long and then it can't be a pebble if it likes do you
00:06:54| mean yeah if it's over that two point well I don't know what number you said I couldn't remember what about like the peso XD sixteen millimeters 25 60 or 65 I think since oh good okay so if you had
00:07:08| one that was one millimeter larger you couldn't classify it as a pebble at 2.5 inches oh four millimeters so that's that's a pretty big pebble that's really uncomfortable lay on it whoa still 3.5
00:07:21| jack come on I would appreciate seeing people lay on that beach so putting work in my body trying to stay comfortable mm-hmm you don't strike me as a beach guy let's just put it that way so this
00:07:35| is actually there's a dualistic part of it I really like the beach I have good memories of the beach going to the beach once you're in it it's a it's pretty awesome nice warm water the waves you
00:07:45| there's all sorts of accoutrement like accessories that you bring to the beach they're Beach centric so it's like you could be really prepared and it you don't need any of that but it also feels
00:07:55| good to have that so like there's a beach bum mentality where you don't have anything and then there's like the family going to the beach that has like every single little knick-knack that's
00:08:05| purely Beach yeah there is something nice about that you can go from any range it's just people going there you can come prepared with nine months of supplies or you can just kind of show up
00:08:15| in your shoes is wrapped in jeans you don't actually have to be in Beach apparel which is kind of cool and there's also kind of a mentality of being at the beach that the mix of
00:08:25| people are like you've gone far enough but not in life I don't know where the people that room with like like you're on vacation with them so you have a common theme and you're from different
00:08:40| places so you're getting yeah there's that but then there's also the people that like they like salt life like there's people like go to the beach because it's a thing and get stuck there
00:08:50| and they just like wanted to be near the beach it's like that's their goal for some reason like they came from the beach why they I mean just because being near the
00:09:00| ocean there's something real about that like an actual drawl towards the ocean something that isn't logical it isn't based on a lot of things maybe it's just based on aesthetic beauty because you do
00:09:11| get better sunsets and sunrises there's something to be said for the sound there's something to be said for just the the look of it constant feel yeah the sound of the
00:09:23| ocean there's something real about the pull of the ocean like someone asked me if I could live in Ohio for ten million dollars for the rest of my life and I could never leave that state what I do
00:09:35| it or they said Idaho it was a state that's landlocked and I was like I don't think I could I feel the calling of the ocean and Solms like dude there's probably like
00:09:44| big lakes and ponds you know do in Idaho you're a millionaire I was like nah can't do it not gonna Idaho and part of it was a call to the ocean I think if you told me I could never see the ocean
00:09:55| again that would do something weird to me I don't know if there are people that grow up and never see the ocean landlocked country know what but I but I have so what's written you don't think
00:10:08| they've ever visited a beets up you're so out focused I feel fantastic I'm very pleased you're probably recording on yours maybe it's cuz I was wearing sunglasses inside like a douche bag a
00:10:19| beach douche do I look best now or we do you look he looks great in here of course but it's the hair better and worse that's better and worse and so I mean do you think there's a percentage
00:10:34| of people who've never seen an ocean it's gotta be under 10% or I don't know maybe I'm being rich first world country we don't even know like I would search like how would you find it like the so
00:10:49| like I imagine Switzerland people that live in like Brazil in the Amazon and then like the Midwest I even they most of them probably go somewhere to see a beach even it's
00:11:04| don't go song sorry not gonna and I gotta happen once you see it you can't unsee it it's a it's one of the biggest things you can see I still remember one of my son's more cognitive because he
00:11:18| seemed to be 22 - he's old when he won't lining so it when it's 3 but like when he was 4 I feel like he really knew what the beach was and when he looked out over and I was like look how big this is
00:11:30| and he was just like wow hmm cuz it's so huge and it's so even there's something it's not even on the underside but unlike land itself levels because it's worth like do you know what I mean
00:11:44| like it's very there's yeah I said water no I said the word itself levels but you understand what I meant the fact that liquid can do that it doesn't like there's no extremely done so the most
00:11:54| dynamic thing you can look at this you're looking at water that's waves because of the moon and then win that's blowing in your face and it's crashing constantly and pulsing for it eventually
00:12:08| even crash is dropping its footer also what you think about it it's wild to think that you're seeing a wave that will never be duplicated kind of like I would know two snowflakes are saying no
00:12:20| two waves will ever be the same either no one says that because it's not a catchy phrase but like that's trippy yeah no two thumb prints are exactly the same they might be actually iris is
00:12:30| might be different who knows a wave I'm gonna find the same wave I want to prove you wrong you can't get a filler you get thousands of waves and just be like filing at end of my life like I've
00:12:39| proved him wrong I'm gonna [ __ ] on your grave and I'm gonna say you didn't account salt content that's some different salt yes way it could be like the best happens every episode how salty
00:12:52| is the ocean how salty is at three point two five million 2.5 percent yeah that's pretty good guess for making it up is it everywhere except I know we've discussed the Dead Sea in an episode so not that
00:13:05| but I'm gonna say no I'm gonna say that's an average and our blood our blood is salty like the ocean is that true false true point no is it one point knows less than one
00:13:20| percent like point nine percent I think it's nine percent oh shut the hell up we're not saltier than the ocean are we well maybe our blood or our bodies percentage of salt and blood nine
00:13:33| percent that's wild I tried less than one that is crazy I didn't think our blood was that well I guess iron salt it's okay no well no well it still is weird
00:13:45| so maybe I'm telling you there's something to be said about the call of the ocean we're gonna keep coming back to this Danny could pop primordial that's what the super made out of maybe
00:13:56| I wouldn't put it past life finding a way back to life or like throwing respect at like the beginning of life just a memory yeah like your genetics are just like
00:14:08| all right yep I came from there I remember you I remember long ago from time they might be others pisses cuz I I need to go wash it or sure no we we make the weekend so where do we go next to
00:14:25| people at the beach you want to talk about your adventures at the beach you want to say whether beaches are good or bad how about Beach people a beach aesthetic
00:14:32| I recently watched the beach which one what area Galveston Texas Texas that's one home one of the worst tornadoes in US history as far as death toll
00:14:42| we'll get into that another time interesting very interesting 1930s as a November so winter ish time it was still heavy yeah offseason but but there's still people there but not like like New
00:14:58| Jersey Beach so this is my contrast is that I thought it was going to be like I guess relaxing and like I'm not built that way and it was also there people but it
00:15:12| wasn't empty like I like to feel like the isolation which I don't think it exists I think there are people that go there and get stuck there and remain there and they're just like Beach people
00:15:21| we talked about before there's also memories of hey going to like the Outer Banks which is like oh you did a turbines as a youth I didn't know I didn't find it because shut
00:15:34| everyone did it yeah which is amazing and then there's like the New Jersey or Maryland Ocean City kind of a teaches way people boardwalk boardwalk is packed with people
00:15:45| oh yeah you go there teens teens freaking broast in your outfit telling you what you wear and looking at your shoes kids saying words you don't even know they got their cell phone on you
00:15:54| and I'm just like oh my god teenage it's a it's a group of teens walk quick walk quick my son has to pay please don't hurt me every time I go I'm approached by teens on a Jersey boardwalk that's my
00:16:07| immediate reaction he's a complete utter fear yeah all the time dude I was like let me load my kids just gonna pay and they're like look at this fool like an old man not cool and they're all
00:16:19| laughing the box and I'm like oh my god I gotta go you just meander past them accept my punishment oh my god we get through there I'm just breathing heavy my
00:16:29| girlfriend's like what happened I'm like I was walking dog to the bathroom and a group of teenagers roasted me they said these sandals are played out and old I'm like she's like it's okay and I'm like
00:16:43| okay thank you oh yeah that's what good teens hang out at the beach I'm telling you it's their thing they're everywhere it's one of the three where it's fun to go to the beach
00:16:53| for that reason is like you're looking for people people watching you're just gonna see people in their bikinis we have even talked about nudity mmm those nude beaches in America I don't think
00:17:07| it's against the law isn't it nude beaches right they think that America Florida idea there's not have a nude bunch of Mexico Florida would our that's so would it's gonna see a no there's
00:17:19| something there's something nice about having the old boys out you know what I'm saying when you uh there are D 0 number sure are they're really gonna say Beach New
00:17:29| Jersey and are you I think Oh girls imagine you'd be to New Jersey sound like a terrible time something awful no I'm not doing Jersey accents on here it'll come up later maybe yeah I
00:17:44| see my dog oh oh it's on an island oh it's Sandy Hook right next to st. you hook really no I'm trying to think anytime you hear about something going to a nude beach though it's never like
00:17:58| exciting or sexy it's usually just like gross yeah because the people you want to see at a nude beach earn not at the new time at the nude beach in fact there are two groups of people at the nude
00:18:08| beach the people want to see but people want to see the beautiful people so perverts and people just want to golf get women and men and look at nude bodies at the beach and giggle and you
00:18:20| know they're probably average looking at best some maybe not even and then the real old people or people who really don't give up who are not in the best of shape or could care less kind of like
00:18:33| really care less fun a big hit rock bottom so you got those two groups just nude at the beach hanging out hanging out make it France just hoping someone beautiful
00:18:43| shows up and Niemann it now and me minute now would you like if the audience raised enough money would you go to a new beat with beat with me and hold my hand as we walk down yeah yeah I
00:19:01| probably would yeah are you probably out allowed to film is there yeah I imagine there's rules against it now would someone that's possible that's probably like frowned upon no cell phones
00:19:14| probably you know no picture taking yeah probably I would imagine I feel like I'd become like I knew like what Eli Manning know is it Peyton Manning the meme that like the picture that always comes up
00:19:28| like hey check out this and then it's like instead of a rick roll it's like Peyton would like to have mass like that whatever that thing is you don't know that
00:19:37| I mean his helmet no yeah no crap I feel like that would become me like somehow someone's a picture and then like a half nude naked like you here yeah and clear white skinned like
00:19:50| like a blur would just become like the new meme and I wouldn't be able I wouldn't be able to live it down and everyone would know do you really think like everealm would know like if you
00:20:02| became a meme and this is since where we held hands and walked down the beach and someone took a picture from behind I feel like a seagull is gonna come by and like invite our crotches or something
00:20:12| like something very at the same time different bites [Laughter] neither of us really wants to get in there I know we're like you get it no
00:20:30| I'll get it no you get it no I'll get this I'm gonna wait we've all on like a kids shovel it's a lot of good memories we haven't had yet so nude beaches no I don't think I'm gonna do them unless
00:20:49| this podcast raise enough money don't you're number 100 by on out nothing paper [ __ ] when it cost more in gas and tolls just to get to this nude beach I'm not
00:21:01| trying to lose monkey whole dance with you and walk into a nude beach I want some coins in my pocket afterwards okay so hundred bucks plus gas yeah like a thousand ba flights are expensive too
00:21:19| yeah that's true figure out the number later donate here here and here it's a nude beaches no-go but like scantily clad beach like yeah I'm a fan and I there's a lot of
00:21:33| attractive people men women that's cool because you can bare yourself to the men you can go out get the ladies like you can it's kind of like a gym where we talked about the video sync receipts of
00:21:46| the gym there's Beach etiquettes right we didn't even touch on beach etiquette Oh Lord how close you're gonna say your your shovel and your umbrella up next to this
00:21:55| other couples and beach caddy on elinks well at least well it depends I think you just do even spacing so like if you had a hundred urinals and a guy's peeing here and here
00:22:06| and here you just evenly spaced it there's no actual number you just kind of dispersed evenly so that if there's ten guys evenly dispersed so on a beach you do the exact same thing if there's
00:22:17| only a few people at the damn Beach give everyone some room no need to be someone's business you know I don't know if you want like a little flag football game um no I think as you could
00:22:29| even when we play football on the beach though people don't tend to come over and want to play and I don't know if it's because we're daunting physical specimens or because we're rippling
00:22:39| muscle or like getting old and look like clowns playing you could do that too what's a classic classic do you know oh yeah Oh Nick and Deeks and moves just aren't slow [ __ ] you really aren't
00:22:55| moving that fast and and then on the sand on top of that you're really slow yeah yeah so some of the other beach etiquette before we get off of that is like you
00:23:03| control your kids and they're throwing sand don't mean it's like this this stuff happens like on a day-to-day basis for Beach people it's like oh there they go they said a seagull for you lady okay
00:23:15| the beach has rules it does you know it's terrible I want to have a mediation here on Oh relax what about real rules like lifeguard you can't go out into the wood or without a lifeguard isn't it
00:23:27| weird of course you can't even go into the water I don't think you can they whistle at you until you move who whistles at you the non lifeguard no the lifeguard
00:23:37| who's one stand over and says sir you can't go out there there's no lifeguard tent and you say I wish there was a person of that watch the lifeguard sure make sure he was there and if he wasn't
00:23:48| there he didn't act in this place but he whistled at people yeah yeah the lifeguards not here so what do you think he would tell you to stop I think I'm pretty sure I'm gonna check with him but
00:24:02| you comes in to buy logs yeah you have to listen to me sit over there he'll be back into it rude stop did you uh there's something weird that happens if
00:24:11| you go for a walk or whatever like you can get lost on the beach even though that sounds so stupid as an adult and we go every summer like three times a year we lost a seven-year-old have you got
00:24:25| lost did he show up there flipped [ __ ] dude she's screaming now so get the lifeguard lifeguard they start they have a system where they radio the other lifeguards and [ __ ] you know everyone's
00:24:36| involved and all the parents are asking where they've seen this kid no one's seen him in five ten minutes it's just he's a regular kid he's probably out throwing rocks at things or whatever
00:24:45| mm-hmm anyway that was like the scariest and then they have to radio all the lifeguards and it was good but I will say lifeguards also do the funniest thing in the world they have a system in
00:24:59| place at least new jersey ones where they have to run from one lifeguard stand to the next and do push-ups on their little orange buoy you have to do something else like there's another
00:25:11| exercise they do and they have to hand the buoy to someone else and take a different buoy and that person now has to run all the way down and do push-ups at the next stand and they do like
00:25:20| verbal communication in case there's ever like a radio outage and they need to communicate to each other and it's like a system in place for running between the lake arts and I think it's
00:25:30| hilarious I don't know it's like old school and weird and sort of unneeded like I've never seen a lifeguard save someone I've seen them do drills and stuff and yell at people but I mean
00:25:42| shout out I'm not dissing the job or anything it's just funny old school it kind of goes like policemen firemen lifeguard right Coast Guard military there's like there's like 5,000 other
00:25:53| ones in between and then like Franklin plan Beach lifeguard and then pool lifeguard where's it pool like our beach lifeguard do you think I feel like the pool
00:26:04| lifeguard probably does more work Louis yeah you think I feel like yeah like a home of each one does blows whistle but I guess he has an infinite worry that like he could sweat yeah this is like
00:26:15| buddy else real but you're the real real short yeah our shark crew jaws I saw YouTube videos it sharks aren't real have you ever actually seen one yes
00:26:27| I felt like I was lying there we just blew the whole thing wide open I can't see what I'll do in the wild do you do the OL go out of the ocean thing on a boat you don't weed out and
00:26:45| like play in the waves and all that breath so like certain beaches are weird cuz they're really steep and other ones like they are really black for a long time and you can get really far out and
00:26:53| still be like 3 feet deep waist-deep bush is unsettling which I don't like I don't like that either I'm being way far from the horizon like you can see the beach like over here and you're in the
00:27:06| water and it's only up to like your waist you're like something's off the earth is gonna shift yeah we're gonna go deep any minute now a wave Simon do you think that's the
00:27:14| basic six do you think it's because you grew up on Jersey beaches like if you grew up on those beaches you think Jersey beaches were weird how do you define a Jersey beach because the Jersey
00:27:24| Beach doesn't I don't recall it being very flat in between no it's in between it's my call it standard Beach that's why I'm basing it on where we fought yeah standard Beach you know you go out
00:27:36| you can go like 30 yards wait sergeant yeah waves are decent but they're not crazy big it's not a real steep incline it's not shallow either and then once you reach a point you're
00:27:49| like up to your chest you everybody stops nobody really goes further and that's where the way it's kind of break anyway so that's cool and the undertow is sweeping you away so it's hard to
00:27:56| fight it stop world-class swimmer right here which did you know um I'm probably better than anyone who ever listened this podcast or think about listening
00:28:08| it's pockets in body surfing yeah body surfing yeah like mom's really wonder if anything who are you know what that is surf on your own body yeah you you jump into the wave
00:28:19| and stick your hands straight out and you ride the waves man in the world Arnie or Artie you'd punch the waves well any different that's not body surfing by surfers realize in the world
00:28:34| you will find a bunch of four-year-old balding men who are screaming at their computer screens right now saying I will take you I am a body surf champion but most of them aren't
00:28:44| most of them ride the wave for like half a second and then like the wave gets away from them the trick is you have to dive into the wave so that your hands are sticking out of the wake and it's
00:28:54| literally propelling your body until you're ready to get up do you know how I learned I still remember this trial and error all right years old yeah sure I was five years old like that it was a
00:29:08| very good body surfer and he always wanted me to come out in the ocean so he's like you know hold my hand I'm afraid of the waves and everything and I still vividly remember this I don't know
00:29:17| why I'll wait a real big wave that was bigger than my head so over three and a half four foot tall home you are that age did you fart oh it was a creaky chair yeah I think you were covering for
00:29:29| the creaky chair smart move smart really smart if your nostrils make any weird motions I'll know dad brought me out into the waves we're in Jersey and a wave came and it was bigger than my head
00:29:49| and I was holding his hand like really hard because I was a scared little kid and the wave knocked me out of his hands and I remember I was underwater and I thought up was to go to the surface
00:30:00| except that I kept hitting the floor of the ocean I didn't realize I was upside down and then the wave a second wave must have come and started flipping me and I had no clue which way was up which
00:30:09| way was left which was right I was gonna cry and die because I hadn't bright breathed in almost eight seconds and I thought I was going to actually physically die in the ocean and I just
00:30:19| felt my dad pulled me up and I realized I was in water up to my waist or whatever but I could stand it you know I just remember sure if I was yeah I think so and then from there I wasn't as
00:30:32| scared for some reason and then now I love riding waves I'm like the wave ride King and I teach kids how to do it like the kids who went down the shore with their like eight and ten and their dad
00:30:44| was down there for two days so they're like we boogie-board sounds like let me show you the way of this skin and they're like excuse me sir and I was like the way of
00:30:52| the flesh I'm gonna dive right in come take a look at this I should them out of body Jericho is kind of cool I into a body sir it when you describe it it sounds good
00:31:08| I think it's one of the things about the beach is that you're thinking about all the stimulation all the visuals but you don't remember like the smell so I think the beach has a smell that's not that
00:31:17| great it's like that fishy smell I agree but I actually I tie it with so many happy members that I'm just like it's cool yeah like I I allow it I agree that by itself it wouldn't be a great smell
00:31:30| but when I smell it I think of the beach and I get happy so I'm like oh hell yeah Beach it's like it's like if you were addicted to racing and you smelled gasoline you're like wow like the smell
00:31:42| of gasoline itself isn't good but it would be special even though do you yeah the smell it's a weird smell to me I don't know I can I find it sort of addictive like you can keep smelling it
00:31:52| but it's not good would you describe that was good I've thought about this what was the thought it was a like recalling I guess recalling certain smells but I could
00:32:04| recall the smell of gasoline but certain smells are hard to recall like when you think of the beach you you visually see the beach and you see the waves sure and you see the Sun but you don't think
00:32:13| about the wind the sand blowing in your face the sand all of your body and then sunburns like you don't think about all the negative things that happen which I truly don't like I just like all those
00:32:28| things can't give me um so I'll tie in with what you're saying as a dad now we I'm one of the guys you see who rents those dumb ass carts or carts you ever seen these I don't know what you're talk
00:32:44| about car it's got like four wheels and it it's like a giant car and it's huge and you can stick for boogie boards three beach towels and umbrella three beach chairs 1940s couple shovels no no
00:32:57| you push it but it's got four wheels it's like a little like wheel cart yeah they pulled out yep yeah I got one of those so okay well when you we and then oh and then
00:33:09| we're heavy drinkers so we would put it like 30 beers into a nice cooler and then sandwiches in a different ice core and then juices for kids and then waters we were that people that you discussed
00:33:21| earlier who prepare for like nine months mm-hmm and the hardest thing in the world is just trudging all that garbage crap that you won't stay on the car and then pulling it through sand which is
00:33:32| borderline impossible because you don't have traction and it is sticking further in mm-hmm and then when you finally get it all they're like you can't just sit down and
00:33:41| enjoy yourself you have to prop up that umbrella you have to open all of those chairs you have to get out this you have to get someone a snack or a food or a drink
00:33:49| item you have to make sure no sand has touched anything because sand will stick to every single item it touches getting your phone can you use your phone look crunch alert that gets on the food how
00:33:59| do you explain to a kid there's sand on everything and you can't don't push amoris stop tasty don't do stop it idiot I hate you and just the whole time you're like maybe now I'll be able to
00:34:11| copy over listen to music and tune everyone out but you can't who's your dad and you have so many jobs yes so many things so and and I get burned because I don't use suntan lotion mm-hmm
00:34:24| i fiber URI upper I remember getting burnt mice were a little like so bad because I spent all day outside and I just like can't I get skin cancer anymore I'm just done with it so I'll be
00:34:38| good but I will say that the best part of the Fate aside from the skin cancer is I think packing all that stuff in your car and having everyone like having a destination and like you know your car
00:34:49| is so packed with crap that like people are awkward that I can't like they can't move because there's so much stuff in your car yeah yeah North Carolina does happen multiple times such a good month
00:35:00| not not on many of my trips and now see what you're describing is the beach effect you're literally oh my god this is crazy so this is a perfect example you were
00:35:12| saying that you don't like the beach because of sunburn and wind and all the uncomfort and sand that gets on everything but but you're describing this car ride exactly how I would
00:35:23| describe the beach you're like looking back we couldn't move like you had this propped up on your elbow you were stuck like this maybe you have a CD walkman and you can listen to the same CD four
00:35:32| times or something the pit stops were a big deal like it was like alright we're gonna stop yjp everyone's gotta pay everyone has to grab a drink not too big a trick because
00:35:42| you just beat and it's like you're describing it was all fun so like even the discomfort was fun even the the packing was fun even making it a big trip was fun even though technically it
00:35:56| sucked sort of parts of it I did right yeah but that's what the beach is sort of to most people I think right yeah it's this person adventure relaxation and fun but I think when you get there
00:36:10| it's not like no it's not no wait do you relaxed on the beach though so this is also my problem is that I can't read a book at this stage I'm just like I need to be doing something like a as long as
00:36:26| it's like if I'm getting like exercise in some way so I like if I'm in the waves I'm gonna swing around of them like letting my kids experience something they haven't experienced
00:36:36| that's cool yes but I can't I don't understand like going to pool and just sitting by it or like going to the beach and just sitting on a towel like to get sit there and get suntan it's just like
00:36:47| ridiculously stupid to me because it's it's cancer like you're just like okay I want to look good for for what reason and like expose myself to all sorts of I don't know it just doesn't I do it and
00:37:01| then I know you know I do it and I know you're getting your piece in but I'll tell you what it is it's that feeling when um your skin is actually cooking like that actual the colour really yeah
00:37:13| yeah is such a good feeling to me I love that feeling I'm not kidding I'm not making it up on my - like it I actually like that feeling and the other thing is 99% of my life it
00:37:27| cuz it physically feels good it feels like it's warming me up from the insights like when the temperature was cool enough to not make it like me too hot like when it can't give you like a
00:37:38| sunburn but it's like warming you up but what you're talking about like when it's like 90 something degrees outside and the Sun is still beating on you well I'm just talking about it I think that's the
00:37:47| Sun you don't even wear the suntan lotion no I don't know no I don't think it cancer actually when you put on right now ten years 20 X are you done yeah probably dude you're gonna get cancer -
00:37:58| it's gonna be from some like hanging on your computers we pin their hand radiation no that feeling I actually enjoyed that physical feeling I'm not saying I do I I like it it's I think
00:38:15| it's your cells responding like being killed light it up no no the other way over excited like it's like they've been pushed to their energy levels and they're like fluctuating and your skin's
00:38:27| cooking and it's like the only way reaction our melatonin is gonna change here because you've got way too much energy come pouring into these cells and it's like killing it off that is one
00:38:37| that I like so like I'm a scab picker yeah like when I get sunburn can you peel it off you get it as one big piece Austrian back scratch they wanted miss someone else scratches it off for you oh
00:38:51| I hardly ever peel though I guess my body just metabolizes the cancer huh it just turns tan I get dark as hell I love it and the other thing is that you don't
00:39:03| appreciate is that whole when I sit there and I can usually I will listen to music okay so I do have a stimulus but that's it I just listen to music like shirtless chillin I can feel that
00:39:16| cooking feeling I don't hear anyone I don't have any kids when this is going on I don't have any girlfriends just like I'm doing there anything you're just hope he's out in the ocean and we
00:39:26| don't even know if there's a lifeguard on duty I'm like no it's this hardly ever happens this happens like twice a year now I have a kid hmm it's like this ultimate relaxation where
00:39:36| no one can talk to me I can feel and it's gonna sound stupid that my nationality I tan more than like the average person but less than like super dark people so I'm in-between but like I
00:39:52| feel like I'm meant to tan does that make sense there are certain people that can accept sunlight and certain people that cannot right and but I feel like when I'm tanning that's what my skin is
00:40:03| made to do like I was made like it feels like being home the same way you in a fresh plow of snow I feel if I were to say so myself but Chris you know that feeling on one cheek yeah would you you
00:40:16| appreciate that don't you yeah it's snow angels sure whatever call it sand castles I don't mind saying castles that's no I'm not good at saying Gotham I so when I was younger I
00:40:30| remember doing this like all day long because it's elaborate like making towns and to do big house and the house is oh you try to prevent it each gave me folks yeah those little uh little Crabbie's
00:40:42| that you can get there like in the sand like that creeped me out and now I see every kid who I'm around is doing and they're like check this out hey mr. neck or whatever they call me I don't even
00:40:54| remember they're like kind of like ah that's great that's neat awesome Oh get away from me get away from the kid yeah you think bro split up I'm not as afraid anymore more no 30-something
00:41:06| years old I can be slightly afraid of em still you're saying show me this tiny crap he looks like me crying and I'm like I got you you son of a [ __ ] all these years I don't know it's such a
00:41:27| dynamic thing it's like it will never be the same but it's like it's so picturesque that you picture it to be the same not yeah right I I agree with that and you're supposed to enjoy it
00:41:39| so like that's another thing it's like the people that like retire early or like go on those vacations okay where they have to go right thank you they buy their yacht they go to the
00:41:50| beach and they relax and they get bored of it I feel like do they get bored of it I know you would do you think they do do those people who just enjoy I don't know I don't know like Taipei people
00:42:02| that are always trying to do something like I don't think they can enjoy just sitting on a beach and soaking it up so can anyone okay good yeah I think you could I don't I don't I don't know that
00:42:17| you're go go go oh no I'm not all right I think it's apparent from if she was trying to beat anybody no I'm not I mean I granted I would get bored of doing that every day I would just people if it
00:42:33| was just you on the beach how many days could you just go to the beach and just soak it up and enjoy it and tan and feel this like say it totally say it's always nice weather and can I work out like in
00:42:45| the mornings or an afternoon or something like that whenever you take a nice shower you have to spend like four hours at the beach I could probably do that for years for your ears yeah [ __ ]
00:42:57| give me like well do you know do you know why though because I'm still picturing myself going home playing bass one night doing work on this project one night maybe writing a book reading a
00:43:08| book doing the workouts every day I would find things to do physical activities that weren't the beach but then still enjoying the beach now are you telling me it's the same sunny day
00:43:17| every day for four years I would drive me insane they're happy because of me David it's raining snowing for ya like I don't know I think I still need the seasons I still need crappy days I still
00:43:30| need all that stuff do we want to do though each one it's sailing like when there's snow on I hat wait I talked to someone about this recently at work it's the weirdest feeling in the world have
00:43:40| you ever been on a beach you know it's snowing no it's so quiet it's [ __ ] nuts it's it reminds me of how Christmas feels like you know how Christmas has that magical editing and
00:43:52| you're like by yourself nothing but but the UM the Christmas they portray like the actual magic of Christmas where it's the night before and everything
00:44:01| or no one's outside it's like yeah and and you just hear the wind and this weird magical sound that's how it really sounds when it snows at the beach because snow deadens the sound of
00:44:12| everything and like you combine that with the steady noise of the waves and it's like a quieter it's like they quieted the the waves and the stuff disappears into the water as it hits cuz
00:44:24| it doesn't it doesn't stick so all these like snowflakes that you see as far as the eye can see are touching the order and just like dissolving right away and it's like it's like almost like a ghost
00:44:34| town or a magical thing that's happening it's just it's it's crazy as hell and I recommend everyone quit their jobs and go to a beach and sit one of snows well then wait for it to snow baby it is
00:44:48| really cool I'm sure if you live near the beach and you see it snow all time it's probably like yeah it happens all the time shut up but I only seen it like three
00:44:55| times so it was nuts now what about um the end of Shawshank Redemption and I said that because I didn't want to say the name of the sail studio thank you I knew you were gonna
00:45:08| say yeah he's on the beach do it he's sanding a boat he's hose yes he has hope the greatest of all things we know mm-hmm yeah could I do that yeah if I was a runaway fugitive living in Mexico
00:45:25| and I had to have a goal I think having a boat in like fishing the ocean and like providing for yourself not having to own land so that's another thing is like boating cuz I think I think I think
00:45:39| got a lotta boating or a beach man really so like yeah you've probably done more than I I know people that have boats and it's never like it's never like it always like no it seems like the
00:45:52| worst thing in the world much to do it's TV shows numbers very much funny so much money and gas and it's always need to repair and always needs this and then you got to find the dock to put it in
00:46:05| and you got to pay the people with the dock then you have to figure out a way to get it in the water then you get a your vehicle then you gotta get everyone else in here then you can drive around
00:46:12| and do your thing but then it's like nighttime where you're gonna put your boat is gonna stay at the dock is it gonna go here rules I need the license it's like the freedom of going out and
00:46:22| doing whatever you want it just disappears like you're not in free like when are you free to do anything you want to go where you want to go like I don't never like me - yeah never maybe a
00:46:34| third world country no no no vacation video in video games no they have rules - mmm parameters and regulations mmm they should make a game where you can do
00:46:45| anything even play the game you're playing for free rob a bank be great and then suffer the consequences to jail yeah it is I'm thinking of GTA but like GTA times 10 like GTA where there's
00:47:00| actually the insides of buildings I think yeah and like you can go inside a building and maybe sign up for high school again and they're like sir we never do this but you can go back to
00:47:11| high school and you can go and sit in an hour-long class just detention there's and there's a test at the end of a week and if you miss classes well sorry test scores are gonna suffer and then at the
00:47:21| end of it you can get a job working a minimum wage and you're gonna wake up set your alarm you better not sleep through it and then you get paid dude sounds so good I want
00:47:30| that freedom I'm just so free I can get a minimum wage job and just work it and pay off my school loans and then I can do whatever I want that's so realistic and mail gets sent
00:47:44| to my house but sometimes you forget your online password and then you don't remember how to log into your bank account but you got to call your man go to a world Monday at 8 p.m. and it's
00:47:53| like oh this game is so cool this is the King feel like we're gonna Rob this Bank we're gonna go to this Bank we're gonna get jobs we're just gonna work those jobs for years we're
00:48:05| gonna be taking all that money take it all my money - like after 20 or 30 years we're gonna be able to retire with that money sounds very cute feel
00:48:19| so since like a job inside job so the beach hmm ha ha thumbs up Sam it's one of the things that has so many the shirt on my bathing suit yes like I like what about these
00:48:33| do you enjoy bins who shorts I don't really like them no what's with the match is that to help me to her yeah I aim to know where boxer briefs like come on well so what's so what is
00:48:43| the point in the net I don't remember is it because you're supposed to pokeball also keeps your junk like as if it's underwear it's like fake underwear I don't know
00:48:52| that's one thing I never liked as a kid to the sands like a weird and it's like never comfortable you can see more than that yeah gets in your cracks your crevices you know what it's probably to
00:49:02| hold your sea snacks hold your goods but it lets sand and water back out it goes under her which might not it Desson defies your crotch area I guess but even then I'm pretty sure if you go to the
00:49:14| beach though you could have pebbles that are quite much 64 millimeters large you fit that in your pants cups you better have a larger or millimeter there yeah cojones couple bones Oh pebbles I am
00:49:27| settle to get some pebbles it's weird there's so many things that like it has its own its own Lola like like microcosm and so total atmosphere is environments like everything can be Beach related
00:49:42| like everything hats sunglasses her own she have their own pizza joints at least in Jersey and stuff in Thank You Minkus right you ever heard my oh we got the plates that are uh right the um they
00:49:55| have saltwater taffy hey do you have anywhere else like to fresh meat fudge Oh fudgie wudgie man dude he's rolling down the beach and he goes
00:50:08| tramcar please watch the tramcar please all that stuff it's wild teenagers roasting you on the boardwalk like it's like whoa the seagulls like they're vicious dad you missed up it's
00:50:21| our walk I haven't been to the boardwalk in 20 laughs long I love it and I hate it cuz I don't like crowds but for some reason it makes me I got into a real big fight with my nail girlfriend and we
00:50:38| were down the Jersey Shore like where they filmed Jersey Shore oh yeah oh we didn't talk about that North points no we didn't talk about that one the north points every with the name of the
00:50:46| beaches is it North Shore North Beach I don't for you know anyway we were literally staying like five houses away from where they stayed in Jersey Shore it was the big deal I have no idea cuz I
00:50:58| I've watched her as a short reunion but I never watched the original that much like some of them I think I would see them but it wasn't a watcher I know who Omar obviously know doesn't say which
00:51:10| Beach point it was I don't know anyway just really close to New York it's like we're all in New York people go to hang out the beach Staten Island anyway so there's so many beaches like all that
00:51:21| whole it is way anyway um we stayed at this Beach a bunch people were doing E I'm not going to say whether your boy had some didn't have some and I remember I got into such a big fight that I went
00:51:37| off on my own and found these kids that were like 19 20 and 21 and they were all wasted face on the roof of the place I was staying and I was like yo wasted I got food yeah and I
00:51:49| was like 27 or 28 you know like you know what's up guys I'm an old man and I was drinking with him hanging out and they were like telling jokes and stuff I didn't understand and they were
00:52:00| like yo man my boys on Special K I was like hey man that Special K for breakfast I made it I made a cereal joke like a real serial to him he was like no man that's a drug and I was like oh yes
00:52:17| - okay yeah um oh you guys were partying and doing what and it was like ketamine and some kind of horse tranquilizer and don't know cuz like god damn it and I was like I was
00:52:29| really like sorry for the kids but sorry that I wasn't there to try the drug earlier yeah and it was weird because I feel like the boardwalk is where the debauchery begins yeah we didn't have
00:52:44| girlfriends you cheat on you with other men yeah is that where they do it good well it's where Senior Week starts right yeah Senior Week yeah exactly that's what I
00:52:57| said that's like our school didn't have the senior we did it's all day today that's much dude yeah I guess that's why that's probably why anyway everyone else's school had senior weeks I went to
00:53:09| us I'm senior weeks but like senior week is where the the first place where I was hearing people be like yeah we just woke up and we were gonna have cereal and we decided to put beer in it and call it oh
00:53:20| and I was like how did it taste they're like oh it's bad we didn't finish it sounds like so cool you did it I was high-fiving guys for inventing burial which I'm sure wasn't their
00:53:31| invention huh but like that's like guess where you get to be bonehead Matt Dumas yeah yeah it's it's so that's another thing the feel of all the places they're always like old and rundown and grimy
00:53:49| and they have that like and the same thing with the sand and the salt these places it's all wood and all the paint is peeling on all of it yeah partly because of the weather but I mean
00:54:02| because it's also old and not very upkept mm-hmm and they're all competing place people and they kill each other places we're talking about her for not tourists but idiot yeah low income
00:54:14| dumbass - [ __ ] for a week and trash your place anyway so what are we gonna yeah there's like a majority of people are just going there to like not give a [ __ ] about anything really we need to
00:54:28| talk about that like half of these houses are rental over half way overhead like how many people stay there all year round versus don't in Jersey they have terms for
00:54:38| these it's like shooby versus the other bees no bird-like kinda like a Florida for nesting birds do they have news words yeah like Snowbird as Florida is like
00:54:49| the people I call a home to the north's or wherever the yeah but like that's a dynamic too because that affects industry that affects literally jobs that affects the economy which is crazy
00:55:02| it ain't it you can't tax the people that don't really live there maybe the horizons that are there I guess so the other thing is like entire businesses run or don't run according to what
00:55:14| season it is yeah it's kind of wild that's a whole different world than where most people live look you can't be a seasonal thing like whoa my business only runs for four months and we are
00:55:25| gangbangers and then we don't do [ __ ] it's like well what do you do oh I have a different job and it's like so you have an eight month job in a warm-up job that's weird to me but your summers are
00:55:38| so short for from May June July and August and then BOOM and then maybe a month like a plus or minus yeah I guess I don't know you can even charge different rent for the house which is
00:55:51| why you went to the beach in November I'm guessing mmm I did not select it that's a guy kicked out beside dogs but giving you really got kicked out wait did you yeah I thought you're saying the
00:56:09| whole weekend that didn't happen no I hate the beach were you were you going to it was I mean that's how what we booked it for we did to get your money back yeah we did okay
00:56:21| that's hilarious so who called you who dined you out the owner showed no wonder because I guess like walking it like where we as a so we air being beat it name drop but the person name that's
00:56:34| whatever you call it corporate sponsorship but gene not really but yeah we thought the person we asked like the first question was like do you love dogs they're just like okay just like they
00:56:45| didn't respond they just said like accept whatever like book the place essentially it's like they consider an invitation it's not part of the chat so it's
00:56:54| separate I just want to make sure that's clear so it was understood that dogs were allowed but when we got there it said like no dogs allowed on premises so like every time we went to walk them
00:57:03| there was like security like security was around so they like spotted us and then be like hey I supposed to have dogs here so like they got the hint and then I guess someone must have been like once
00:57:14| dog I cuz those type of people little C chewed what if you made the trip thinking dogs were allowed and then found out they weren't you can't change your mind or walk the dog back it's not
00:57:25| like a Mets code but drop the dog off and just like make a trip back like we're like an hour away so it's like I could theoretically hours away because that's the ideal location from the shore
00:57:35| as well get into you can't do jack [ __ ] about it so like you pretty much have to leave that's stupid hmm I agree what's interesting it brings us to our product placement another
00:57:46| night um here at the impaler's we're sponsoring a bronze knife it's a small bagger it's about eight inches you can bring this with you um yeah sort of it's in that in that mean jean genre
00:58:01| anyway this bad boy has made it uh 32 G plated copper it's good for a lot of sort of things a lot of a tricky little maneuvers you can carry this it's not detectable by a metal detector
00:58:14| you can fart and move your chair I think that's how thank you for farting you could bring this with you on vacation guess what on vacations when people get robbed and stuff you wouldn't bring this
00:58:25| on vacation someone says your dogs not allowed boom guard is down you have no idea what happened could be anything you could have just fallen over and blood could be spurting out you're not in
00:58:35| trouble you're on vacation you can bring this bad boy with you anywhere you want to bring into the doctor's office make sure doctor give you a clean bill of health
00:58:43| boom all I'm gonna say is you would think this cost like 39.99 at least right not to use coupon code and err err we got links here here and here you can bring this baby anywhere I keep wanting
00:59:00| to say school but I'm not gonna make that joke soon to be sold out soon to be sold out everyone check them out seriously not for school anywhere but school so that was from our sponsor
00:59:14| I think it's Gidget knives and get it nice giggle it anyway check it out sings a really badass and I think if you had taken this on vacation that guard wouldn't have told on you or you'd be in
00:59:26| jail so I'm just saying maybe bring it with you and take a slice out of vacations you know what I'm saying yeah then the back pocket yeah so I actually naturally showing up to
00:59:43| that place it was smaller than we expected Bry mere than we expected older than we expected and a little bit more uncomfortable so yeah I personally I don't do kids enjoy the beach do they
00:59:59| see it I mean have they ever seen a beach at what point to your kids actually get like the beach like did they get ideas for yeah mine was we walked on the beach and he was like
01:00:10| playing with a sand and like doing things with it and I'm like I guess he gets it but you look in his eyes and they're so dead and you're just like you don't
01:00:18| well he's literally looking for fun and activities and this is just a bunch of really really really tiny fine pebbles by definition like I don't know what to do with this why are we here what are we
01:00:32| doing a removing soon I can undo me like maybe I don't know babies can't relax you can't relax you're just like a baby that's one thing I did like that drive back I think on Thanksgiving Day I
01:00:48| didn't shower like I didn't have any time like we're doing stuff constantly until we got kicked out all right are you a two two showers a day guy right I'm I'm somewhere between one and two
01:00:59| that's so wild because the way you just said that you're like you're like bragging about not showering for a day and I was like dude it's probably been two days for me my co-workers probably
01:01:08| hate me that's gross yeah I'm gross I understand I understand more about you next answers in the ocean do you feel cleaner when you bathe in the ocean I counts as a
01:01:21| shower absolutely 100% that's a bad day it's you in the Army is like it's a bad thing I saw I saw I am an older man diarrhea no no no did your body surfing oh it
01:01:42| didn't beat me a body surfing I'll tell you that via amber - so someone did a number well Nicole on the internet and it was educated number two in the ocean and like yeah I want to say eight
01:01:57| percent said yes eight percent yeah at cold how did what sales out there's so many the amount of crap in the ocean from other animals sure listen fish pee and
01:02:10| poop I got it like okay I understand but I'm afraid of things crawling in there oh do you do the whole is that why you don't hang out in the deep part do you hang out water that's like up to your
01:02:23| chest where you can't see the floor just shot I don't like it it's weird I feel like that yeah things are always around you but you just Kiwis ya know I used to be afraid of that as a kid Africa what
01:02:33| happened I think I just stopped caring or hating my life or whatever it is but it's done anyway what if his nighttime could you stay in the water for his pitch Blanc
01:02:40| no I think that would freak me out actually yeah midnight surfing yeah now have that no 100% no how about um surfing in general have you ever tried it
01:02:52| I have not did her my um my boss right now he's a big into surfing and all that and he's not very in shape or anything and I'm like yo my man serves he's like yeah it's pretty cool it's get into it
01:03:05| he's like it takes a lot to practice and he was really good at snowboarding so that probably helped him in it I think come on I was a keeper aboard probably between 50 used and like 4,000
01:03:19| for a brand-new state-of-the-art a cork pitted whatever mother at tre line vsync whatever vsync graphics card turn 300 and 400 bucks just to end your 150 bucks use Amazon you looked at they used ones
01:03:40| no I'm just it's the same with everything dude take it hard for any price sir word yeah think about it you can get anything a crappy used version of something for 50
01:03:52| bucks you can get a super top-of-the-line version of something for as far as like hobby items I'm talking about guitars right I just lost yes you know anything happens let's get a couple
01:04:08| of friends holding hands wieners flopping in the breeze hmm some people might like that I don't know I hope I hope I don't I don't think I'd like it but now I'd have to should I trim my
01:04:23| butt hair I don't know no sure I always wanted to like go swimming and be like professional swimmer and like tie myself and then like go full body wax and see how much my time approves never your
01:04:39| weight naked doing me oh yeah I understand actually you're probably more streamlined with the speedo than naked I would assume so but my whole premise is that I'm naked in both instances okay
01:04:53| one shapes and one completely hairless hair other people's hair just cover me in brillo pads and call it even no no we're different people I think you enjoy the beach to a degree but you
01:05:14| don't love it I think I can do the whole get assault life sticker flirt on my car yeah I don't think I could ever own a boat unless I lived there full-time and I didn't have to worry about my fishing
01:05:27| a boat it's like a yacht where I use like I want to create my own bowl of my own reality on that boat so I don't know so it's like camping without nature yes it's exactly 100% get what you're
01:05:40| getting at yeah you're like like I'm dizzy every time a source I need yeah hundred percent involved in here and it's just along the ocean I just want to [ __ ] all over nature in the environment
01:05:49| and say [ __ ] you earth I can do whatever I want that's fair wasn't but there's something to be said for getting back to the grass roots dude tan Annette pale pale skin
01:06:02| ears I'm telling you maybe you'd feel a little bit of nature calling back you know you were in a pool with her shark I think you could kill that shark with a spear before it killed you uh yeah you
01:06:13| know why because I doubt it's coming right I mean to kill me like it's hungry and thirsty and everything so I have the advantage of first strike it's probably not gonna attack me unless I attack it
01:06:21| if I make the first move I'm gonna go right for its goddamn eye and I'm gonna make sure it lunges in and I can hold it at bay act like I need a five-foot radius and at that point I'm gonna drive
01:06:31| it straight into the rest of the shark and just if it's coming at me guess what I'm using its own strength against it I thought about this man yeah oh oh oh planned out
01:06:40| now if the shark is hungry and I'm covered in chum no I got no chance it's gonna come around and bite my ass but I get first strike maybe maybe I just I had okay though right I think we're good
01:07:03| baby so you didn't hear any crack it's kind of Barisan its finest its internal inside so the beach is there anything we missed you'd like to cover you like to speak
01:07:19| about I guess once you go it always stays with you well that's and you can never get all the sand out you know I had some poison ivy on my balls
01:07:30| down the beach now we've mentioned this on the pocket why would you do that to yourself oh it was not planned or are you naked in a bush of poison ivy hike titrant I was going on vacation to the
01:07:44| beach and right after I landscaped and cut down a tree I thought it was a tree I think it was poison sumac or poison oak like trimmed my body hair right before I John - eyeballs come in contact
01:07:56| with the sumac well it's just the oils that are on you so it's all my hands and I was tripping the chest I trimmed this I had it all over my ears you know what this area solution that is he got a
01:08:08| shower more Nick or I was showering that night I showered five minutes afterwards but it was too late once once I was and you don't shower before you trim your body hair duh
01:08:21| I'm gonna shower in the men's room that's stupid it's written right before a shower and I trim this area I trimmed into my chest trim a little bit of the Nick they're done here and guess what
01:08:32| poison ivy here here here here you never said what happier to that because you have like like bleeding random /pha [ __ ] penis I don't know what's going on there
01:08:43| issues and then of even pouring it to the baby powder and some other mix no no um there's a antihistamine like spray that dries it Rilke yeah oh my god I would spray that on my balls
01:08:59| and the pain like at ten huh I don't want that nice like I said it was it would cauterize the wound as we would say hanger ball and then I would go out to the beach the next day
01:09:14| and get sand all over the body part that was sensitive to just mmm I just so I don't like it either I hate the beach there go into the ocean come back out and walk like a stick bigger
01:09:28| like that we're good I love the beach so yeah hate the beach j/k love the beach the best part is coming back and showering in your own shower knowing there's no sand to be in
01:09:40| your future yeah and it's probably going like the little bits that are behind your ears or in your hair or and your socks or you can find them everywhere in your lands
01:09:50| like the salt like when we're reading in the salt your hands get like coffee I don't understand how the beach the whole area else isn't the whole 30 mile radius how do their drains all work there's
01:10:03| just sand constantly going down them like this just just keeps going I guess I don't know cuz it's like some drains right in the ocean only 8% of people believe in pooping you know that's
01:10:15| what's the wholeness state of New Jersey it's all I do launch that triple trebuchet into the ocean it's a wildest thing you saw the beach so a couple having sex last year
01:10:27| that's can't breathe in the deep that'd be comfortable it's just like people like underneath the boardwalk doing drugs likely not the people that do my friends were probably doing Special K
01:10:37| down there saying yeah no they look like they're permanent bombs a talking about like um they do the scene in requiem for a dream that's really good about needles and they say it freaks me well stop the
01:10:53| other part is like the when it gets so packed during the summers at the sweaty bodies you can't avoid and then II like slide through people it's just disgusting I can it is getting birthed
01:11:06| by to larger people in the middle of the sand dune it's they're larger I like it like when they would have to be able to fit me through them both that's a good point for your birth metaphor the many
01:11:19| of their smaller people get like alien is bust right through their chest yeah I guess so yeah also also birth but for an alien hmm interesting [ __ ]
01:11:40| thumbs up at your beach yeah say the other thing is just real quick um where my location is photos off the area uh-huh the beach is cool because it's also a getaway in event yeah it's like
01:11:51| it's like an hour and 45 it's like between an hour and a half and two hours and you take the same road to the same Beach points that everyone else in the entire state pretty much goes to yeah so
01:12:03| it's like everyone goes to one of like points yeah go to Ocean City go to Sea Isle and like when you go to these places you find people who are like hey where are you from and it's like oh I'm
01:12:18| from your town oh we're right across the street from you hey neighbor and it's the weirdest thing where you see people who are like from five minutes away and you both came to ours
01:12:27| and you could have gone in any direction but you came to the beach and it's like cool like you have a thing in common you both made the March the the adventurer pilgrimage but thank you that's actually
01:12:41| the word I think I was implying yes and you loaded up your car and you couldn't move your arms or your legs and you said not shut up we're not pulling over any more times and you unloaded as much crap
01:12:56| as you could into this little house you rented for a week and it was a crappy rental and every time you go to the beach you have to load up your beach cart with so much so much junk it's
01:13:06| garbage you're not gonna use it on why are we bringing it all and then there's just a little bit of sand that's gonna get in someone's drink someone's I saw once like a home someone has to pee we
01:13:14| just walk back here we don't have a key but it's so good overall I don't care I enjoy it that Sun starts cooking your skin you don't care about your family or any
01:13:29| money I wish I could like drugs you can too with my helpful seminars stay tuned after the empennage while will release my secret on achieving Zen or as I like to call it not showering
01:13:45| drinking Nick secret sauce drink in the sequencer on slider on the secret sauce I'm gonna stream the secret sauce right into your ears it's a spot to put it well we talked about every
01:14:02| beach point didn't we we touched on all seagulls this time two sequels kind of peaceful at a distance I know any link yeah he'll of clothes yeah especially if you get food and there's
01:14:14| like hundreds of them alka-seltzer does not blow them up I don't know where that started but doesn't kill I give you gifts and feed the knockers house area it's supposed to kill them um yeah it's
01:14:27| supposed to make their stomachs girl and explode I think it's a urban myth hmm or maybe we just never got one to eat the alka-seltzer you wrap it in bread or whatever but it doesn't work beach myths
01:14:41| oh one of my goals was I wanted to punch a seagull and get it caught on film I've never done it never tried it they're smarter than you they they know not to get near you I'm sorry
01:14:52| Smosh doesn't always win my friends sometimes brawn wins sometimes Bronwen long as man vodka seagulls punching a flock of seagulls as he goes as in the lead singer from the band the one with
01:15:09| the crazy hair cut yeah I can see that all right I think we're winding down here all right line down all right so we hope the best Ruby's voice is all temperature Z let's go quicker okay so
01:15:21| today today's the worst day of your life that's pretty pissed off I don't know how it's the doctor from whatever I've hear what he's from but hilarious the Friar Tuck from Robin Hood many bad
01:15:42| things look up these celebrities they're always dead is he dead you think I bet Oh holding up all right are you gonna go through Friar Tuck it's probably easier than looking him up
01:15:51| through um watching the ball I wasn't the amendment office miss oh thank you good boy Red Sea Isle Ocean City CI Ocean City Cape May on your way to Cape May shut
01:16:08| the hell up yeah baby that's New Jersey for you and then if you go down to Maryland you got Ocean City you got that's it and then if you go to Delaware you got do we we're
01:16:17| hope with fun do we were hold with the third one I forget it oh and then I'm actually going to a couple other Delaware Beaches [Music]
01:16:30| what's his name the name his name is Michael McShane sweet I like Michael Mosley he's like in a kids movie or something that are gorgeous a bug's life bug's life and know something else where
01:16:46| he's the act Oh is he the dude in um Macaulay Culkin movie professor who invents things Richie Rich don't forget her okay
01:16:57| good new my hockey might not be oh I thought you were on IMDB in Miami and my nothing it's Richie Rich with it or uh no or ninety maybe no I'm rich it's rich like the word rich like filthy
01:17:14| stinking rich anyway beaches are kind of what bring us all together it's like a first vacations from you yes though the vacation that doesn't really cost anything to experience well you have to
01:17:28| get the house but I guess you could go for the day yeah but your abs a rent a place to stay anyway so like as a family beach are is the free park you know yeah for attractions
01:17:41| yeah you're right I'm sort of a Vermonter yeah I Beach oh I think it wait you have to paint down a new Beach I mean if you want someone to be attracted to you you have to pay for
01:18:02| like the beach it's like it's Universal it's it's ingrained in the American psyche it's vacation it's where we go it's what we do it's relaxation but you're really in like the Sahara or like
01:18:14| oh the beach and they like just picture a fool head like no you're you're talking about water we're talking about the sand no no sad no scent yeah I guess so yeah
01:18:30| if we didn't mention your Beach you can put it in the comments below if you think going to the beaches come quiet beautiful you're wrong or you're not a dad you can comment in section below if
01:18:42| you hate the beach and you friggin think it's the worst vacation idea in the world and there's no redeeming quality for yeah exactly you can I say this in the comments below
01:18:52| as well I agree probably you're probably pale you probably like computers let's move on like to be stimulated mentally and physically that's it that's all I got
01:19:07| that's the beach wipes a beach and then you die I'm getting us all away that's a salt life hopefully he's like oh that's not where I would put it on my back but yeah each cheek salt life salt like baby
01:19:26| I can smell it now I like the picture you hate the beach that's fine yeah I don't know if I have it I think I said my piece hmm I wonder when this episode will release hopefully it's the middle
01:19:45| of winter and people are like this is not relevant to me or end when we'll be able to the end people are thinking yeah that is also since we've been talking for a long time now I bet they're
01:19:58| waiting and waiting waiting for the end to come I just want to die like they're sitting here waiting there like this like once we've heard this much I just kind of want to see if they see anything
01:20:08| else how many people will actually get turn off right now I'm putting with that big and there's like eight more seconds and it's like oh I didn't catch the last eight seconds I didn't care
01:20:15| now I feel like there's no winners you're still listening you know all of them are still with me well folks it's been good yeah we do know like you a lot life's a beach
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