Transcript of Episode 21 - Time Wasting Customer Service
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00:00:09| okay we're gonna talk about people who waste our time i think the best example of this is probably like custard some customer support or tech support
00:00:20| which they like if you call up and you know more than they do which you always do it seems like they read off a script like they'll go
00:00:28| like oh did you reset the device or like blah blah blah did you do did you turn it off yeah did you start over do you type the most basic command possible
00:00:37| and this did you read all the the instructions on the book my beef is that this happened with my uh my communicator oh did i ever bring this one up no but i we
00:00:50| share a uh an account so i saw some information go ahead let's let's get into it so the effing computer alienware
00:00:57| the fan like is this really just you being able to [ __ ] on a company let's go let's go so there's like turbo charges like the the fan sounds like a dead engine or a vacuum whenever it turns on
00:01:09| and it turns on whenever the like cpu gets hot yeah so i naturally like hack the thing apart and try to like rebuild it but it has like specialized cont like am
00:01:20| i hearing it right now i think that was it actually that's insane it knew we were talking about it that kind of while they go ahead keep going don't talk
00:01:28| don't [ __ ] [ __ ] on that it's gonna break you can't break it apart and put in a new skeleton like the case likes to go yeah okay they do that on purpose
00:01:40| so alienware is a product of dell for those lists yes they make some pretty good stuff but maybe not the best stuff let's keep going
00:01:48| so whenever i would call them they would always like put me around in circles and i'd always be like i know like exactly what this is and
00:01:58| then always really like there's this one error that they kept going back to they're like oh but there's a fan error and i was like yeah because i
00:02:04| [ __ ] changed up the fan so it's like there's a fan er i think it has something to do with it that we would like to send a tech out to you and it's like
00:02:12| oh i've been on the phone for two hours with this person he's like i think we need to send a tech out this is the next step and i was like no like stop it i just want this thing
00:02:20| to do exactly what i wanted to do and you need to tell me what to do and that guy didn't have the answer so like you always go to like the next level but they always delay like if you're
00:02:29| like i want to talk to your manager i'm pulling a car in here it's like i want to talk to your manager a car in here i love it but they always take like half an hour
00:02:39| to like get their manager because i guess their manager is talking to all the other people like me yeah and they don't have that many managers yeah and the manager doesn't
00:02:46| have any power like it's a whole giant scheme of people who are just giant ladder links in a corporate environment
00:02:55| so like you have to climb like 30 people in order to get to somebody who actually cares so i usually [ __ ] all over that like step
00:03:03| step stool you know all that garbage that won't get you there and then i like have to go to social media so if you put someone on blast and
00:03:11| social media their twitter account or their facebook people or their whatever see it and they're literally um not programmed because they're not robots they are
00:03:21| detailed to contact you directly and say hey stop putting us on blast we will put you in touch with an answer and they try and it's the quickest way
00:03:29| to get to a company into an area that makes you quieter i have i have to do it um for citizens bank anytime my um account withdrawals i'm like what the
00:03:39| hell's going on no it's like a day off and i'm like i deposit my check it's like why does it take two days to go in but you can take my money out the day before
00:03:47| so if there's an overdraft fee or something like that i will put them on blasts on social media someone calls me within an hour and then they're like oh okay we'll wait the thing i understand
00:03:56| and i'm like thank you cool that's the most amazing piece of twitter and it used to work better it used to be that you'd get like an
00:04:05| actual human being that would be like responding to you and i think now they're smart enough to like link all their systems so they're like
00:04:12| they're like they look you up in the system like we know who you are we know what problem you had we know what tech you had we know this customer support guy who can like was
00:04:20| helping you we'll redirect you back to him so it's like now it's like the loop is closed you're like god damn it it's exactly like those
00:04:30| phone prompts like press zero press one enter your social security number enter your card number it's like how much time do i have to do like
00:04:39| there's i started a new job and the new job had these uh direct debit cards so like you get your paycheck on a card
00:04:49| and it was like uh you just like swipe it as you wanted to it'd be like a bank they set up for you so like a p card yeah it was um that's funny i get paid
00:04:59| we can accept money from p cards now is that what's up what's the p and p card i have no idea i just know it's like a digital thing where they can like they have money on for in an account
00:05:08| that's for buying things so they'll buy things from me on their pcard purchase ah that makes sense holy crap we just learned here we just
00:05:19| learned here we're learning so go ahead i'm trying to think if there's anything confidential i'm just going to put my hand over as many numbers as i can
00:05:30| this is like one of these like this is a a money network check this is perfect because i can't really tell yeah i would catch anything good perfect good job so let's just help
00:05:40| up a piece of paper i don't care okay if you try to call money network on a friday they will make you enter like probably like 50 digits yeah like your birthday
00:05:51| your security card number the check no i don't have sex the first time yeah i know that's crazy they know everything about you
00:05:59| like sorry that's incorrect sir that was just a handy and you just dammit i thought that was my first sexual encounter uh
00:06:11| it counts with yourself damn it i gotta go back and check the records so you you end up doing all that and if you're calling
00:06:21| like the day everyone's trying to get their money out like payday then it like this particular one it would like error out and say oh please call back
00:06:31| again loop please please call back again loop and by the final time it's like we are at mac capacity literally cut in and out
00:06:41| so they were trying to tell me the number i had to write down and it was like one three six seven and i was like can you repeat that please
00:06:51| i had to didn't call recognizing he had to call a human being who said um you're gonna have to call the automated service because we can't do that for you
00:07:00| this is weird can we call this episode um automation versus um customer service versus uh robocall versus like yeah because you're touching a whole
00:07:11| different thing i didn't think we were going here but this is amazing because there's a chain that big companies set up that you can't get in touch with anyone yeah
00:07:20| it's very intentional it's very but it's the price you pay because if you're dealing with amazon actually amazon's not bad is that weird do you know how they do
00:07:30| their thing amazon i tried to like claim something had not arrived and like that button doesn't exist the thing with amazon that i found unique because most big big companies
00:07:41| especially companies big as that there's no one to talk to you can't call uber you can't call half of these companies and if you do you just get a bunch of prompts that gives you a bunch
00:07:50| of other prompts that gives you other prompts that gives you an automated message yeah and you're like oh thanks i didn't
00:07:56| realize that it was all subject to change thank you click and you're like that was just an hour not a big deal um amazon has a cool thing where um you
00:08:05| say i need customer support or whatever and you give them your phone number and they will literally call you someone will call you and i usually get a human to talk to
00:08:12| them when you talk to a human at any of these companies you're 10 times better off what kind of discount do they give you they did they like refund you or they
00:08:22| resend the thing or accept a refund or whatever it is but it's just cool because talking to a human is the key and the bigger the company
00:08:30| [Music] punch it in and um donate to us we will call you if anyone donated to us would you call them personally they gave us
00:08:40| their phone number i mean i'd probably spend five minutes talking to them yeah eight minutes five here's a thousand dollars for the unpainters i need six minutes dan's like
00:08:55| get out no that's minefield this is a minefield we don't want to get out of here we're not dealing with this so these the other thing is um
00:09:05| what you were mentioning with the computer stuff like i deal with wiring cable so i the worst workers at my company like the bottom of the barrel like when you
00:09:14| just start out i've mentioned this on an episode before i'm sure the people that you think are bots when you talk to them yeah i'm i'm a chat guy did they not
00:09:23| allow you to type they just have like preset answers that would be amazing no even better so um i don't know if every company does this or they have preset answers at my company
00:09:35| we got preset answers from one of the smarter guys who was in my position and would just save the responses so he didn't have to deal with anyone's [ __ ]
00:09:42| so someone comes in chat and they're like your wire at four gauge four um sx7 what's the ampacity at 50 feet and yeah someone's asking me this
00:09:52| there's literally thousands of wires i just started here like two months ago you know what i i'm like this i'm like what the flying hell is this guy talking about
00:09:59| and he's an engineer so he knows 10 times more than me about wire and cable i'm just selling [ __ ] and i'm literally the new guy here so i pull up my word document that mr
00:10:10| pomp saved me and i'm like oh let me get a good one for this guy circumstance no that's just his name oh anyway real name i copy and paste some of his good
00:10:19| ones he's like unfortunately we do not have engineering support at this moment if you would please direct your questions to customer service which will
00:10:26| loop it back to us in a day do you basketball would you accept the answer i don't know in chat let me talk to your manager hold on a second and wait 30 minutes
00:10:46| the other cool thing is see it's so funny we're talking about the same thing but i'm on the other end and it's just so funny uh the other cool move and i've mentioned this before but
00:10:54| it's still it's the only joy i have at my job their name is spelled out right in front of you i can see your account i can see what pages you're clicking on
00:11:02| i always type their name in wrong if they're being an [ __ ] so if it's claire c-l-a-i-r-e i'm like hold on claire let me look into that but i spell claire wrong on purpose
00:11:12| like i cut out her eye or i displace the e in the r so it's like clay error and i'm like let me look into this i let him sit for like 5-10 minutes and then i'll be like unfortunately we
00:11:22| do not have engineering support at this time if you would contact this it's so cool oh the other the other slick move is i can see what web pages you're clicking
00:11:32| on so if they ask me a question about a certain wire or cable like if they would you would ask about a certain computer part or something
00:11:39| i see that you clicked on the page and you're perfectly right you're looking at the exact model looking at the make you're looking at the problem you're looking at the faq
00:11:46| page i copy it paste it and say i would start here and just send it to them and i crack up because i know they're looking at it but they don't
00:11:55| know i know so it's like sometimes i get an exclamation point i'm already looking there but now i got five more minutes because i'm busy you know what i
00:12:02| mean so i am the chain but just a moment just just a moment but it's like it's it's a it's a go back and forth because
00:12:13| i'm not educated in this and most big companies the people who are doing this customer service work are not the higher paid higher ups at all in fact it's the
00:12:22| people who just started who have no clue what they're talking about so when you say i know more than them you're 100 right oh yeah but that's what a big company does they
00:12:31| put their weakest links at the bottom so even if you attack the weakest link it's it's either a robot or a human but the humans gonna be like yeah just go to the
00:12:40| robot i don't [ __ ] know clipper yeah we're wasting your time i'm wasting your time but what what more do you want me to do is my question for you care i want you
00:12:53| to care nick i don't i don't but again this isn't on me as the lowest worker or them on the lowest worker it's the big company
00:13:03| they know what the hell they're doing yeah they put as many layers between [ __ ] and them as possible some of them are robot layers some are human layers either way they don't want
00:13:13| to answer your question they don't want to give in they want to keep selling a product and churning it out because that's capitalism baby
00:13:20| so wasting time it's just a way of making money i guess and for you to push through for an hour two hours maybe you'll finally get a hold of
00:13:29| someone how many people who have the same issue you have will do the two to three hour workload to get to a human to complain to maybe get an answer
00:13:39| or you could wait till the future happens and then google has auto caller ai but do you think an ai talking to another the company's ai because the companies are going to have
00:13:49| all their ais right so the two ais are going to be talking to each other it's like these two chinese restaurants like someone calls up and like says what they want
00:13:57| and then they they tell them back what they ordered but they called some other chinese restaurant and then it sounds like that person is ordering
00:14:04| so they repeat back that's genius that's the future baby i love it huh can't wait for it time wasters predators
00:00:20| which they like if you call up and you know more than they do which you always do it seems like they read off a script like they'll go
00:00:28| like oh did you reset the device or like blah blah blah did you do did you turn it off yeah did you start over do you type the most basic command possible
00:00:37| and this did you read all the the instructions on the book my beef is that this happened with my uh my communicator oh did i ever bring this one up no but i we
00:00:50| share a uh an account so i saw some information go ahead let's let's get into it so the effing computer alienware
00:00:57| the fan like is this really just you being able to [ __ ] on a company let's go let's go so there's like turbo charges like the the fan sounds like a dead engine or a vacuum whenever it turns on
00:01:09| and it turns on whenever the like cpu gets hot yeah so i naturally like hack the thing apart and try to like rebuild it but it has like specialized cont like am
00:01:20| i hearing it right now i think that was it actually that's insane it knew we were talking about it that kind of while they go ahead keep going don't talk
00:01:28| don't [ __ ] [ __ ] on that it's gonna break you can't break it apart and put in a new skeleton like the case likes to go yeah okay they do that on purpose
00:01:40| so alienware is a product of dell for those lists yes they make some pretty good stuff but maybe not the best stuff let's keep going
00:01:48| so whenever i would call them they would always like put me around in circles and i'd always be like i know like exactly what this is and
00:01:58| then always really like there's this one error that they kept going back to they're like oh but there's a fan error and i was like yeah because i
00:02:04| [ __ ] changed up the fan so it's like there's a fan er i think it has something to do with it that we would like to send a tech out to you and it's like
00:02:12| oh i've been on the phone for two hours with this person he's like i think we need to send a tech out this is the next step and i was like no like stop it i just want this thing
00:02:20| to do exactly what i wanted to do and you need to tell me what to do and that guy didn't have the answer so like you always go to like the next level but they always delay like if you're
00:02:29| like i want to talk to your manager i'm pulling a car in here it's like i want to talk to your manager a car in here i love it but they always take like half an hour
00:02:39| to like get their manager because i guess their manager is talking to all the other people like me yeah and they don't have that many managers yeah and the manager doesn't
00:02:46| have any power like it's a whole giant scheme of people who are just giant ladder links in a corporate environment
00:02:55| so like you have to climb like 30 people in order to get to somebody who actually cares so i usually [ __ ] all over that like step
00:03:03| step stool you know all that garbage that won't get you there and then i like have to go to social media so if you put someone on blast and
00:03:11| social media their twitter account or their facebook people or their whatever see it and they're literally um not programmed because they're not robots they are
00:03:21| detailed to contact you directly and say hey stop putting us on blast we will put you in touch with an answer and they try and it's the quickest way
00:03:29| to get to a company into an area that makes you quieter i have i have to do it um for citizens bank anytime my um account withdrawals i'm like what the
00:03:39| hell's going on no it's like a day off and i'm like i deposit my check it's like why does it take two days to go in but you can take my money out the day before
00:03:47| so if there's an overdraft fee or something like that i will put them on blasts on social media someone calls me within an hour and then they're like oh okay we'll wait the thing i understand
00:03:56| and i'm like thank you cool that's the most amazing piece of twitter and it used to work better it used to be that you'd get like an
00:04:05| actual human being that would be like responding to you and i think now they're smart enough to like link all their systems so they're like
00:04:12| they're like they look you up in the system like we know who you are we know what problem you had we know what tech you had we know this customer support guy who can like was
00:04:20| helping you we'll redirect you back to him so it's like now it's like the loop is closed you're like god damn it it's exactly like those
00:04:30| phone prompts like press zero press one enter your social security number enter your card number it's like how much time do i have to do like
00:04:39| there's i started a new job and the new job had these uh direct debit cards so like you get your paycheck on a card
00:04:49| and it was like uh you just like swipe it as you wanted to it'd be like a bank they set up for you so like a p card yeah it was um that's funny i get paid
00:04:59| we can accept money from p cards now is that what's up what's the p and p card i have no idea i just know it's like a digital thing where they can like they have money on for in an account
00:05:08| that's for buying things so they'll buy things from me on their pcard purchase ah that makes sense holy crap we just learned here we just
00:05:19| learned here we're learning so go ahead i'm trying to think if there's anything confidential i'm just going to put my hand over as many numbers as i can
00:05:30| this is like one of these like this is a a money network check this is perfect because i can't really tell yeah i would catch anything good perfect good job so let's just help
00:05:40| up a piece of paper i don't care okay if you try to call money network on a friday they will make you enter like probably like 50 digits yeah like your birthday
00:05:51| your security card number the check no i don't have sex the first time yeah i know that's crazy they know everything about you
00:05:59| like sorry that's incorrect sir that was just a handy and you just dammit i thought that was my first sexual encounter uh
00:06:11| it counts with yourself damn it i gotta go back and check the records so you you end up doing all that and if you're calling
00:06:21| like the day everyone's trying to get their money out like payday then it like this particular one it would like error out and say oh please call back
00:06:31| again loop please please call back again loop and by the final time it's like we are at mac capacity literally cut in and out
00:06:41| so they were trying to tell me the number i had to write down and it was like one three six seven and i was like can you repeat that please
00:06:51| i had to didn't call recognizing he had to call a human being who said um you're gonna have to call the automated service because we can't do that for you
00:07:00| this is weird can we call this episode um automation versus um customer service versus uh robocall versus like yeah because you're touching a whole
00:07:11| different thing i didn't think we were going here but this is amazing because there's a chain that big companies set up that you can't get in touch with anyone yeah
00:07:20| it's very intentional it's very but it's the price you pay because if you're dealing with amazon actually amazon's not bad is that weird do you know how they do
00:07:30| their thing amazon i tried to like claim something had not arrived and like that button doesn't exist the thing with amazon that i found unique because most big big companies
00:07:41| especially companies big as that there's no one to talk to you can't call uber you can't call half of these companies and if you do you just get a bunch of prompts that gives you a bunch
00:07:50| of other prompts that gives you other prompts that gives you an automated message yeah and you're like oh thanks i didn't
00:07:56| realize that it was all subject to change thank you click and you're like that was just an hour not a big deal um amazon has a cool thing where um you
00:08:05| say i need customer support or whatever and you give them your phone number and they will literally call you someone will call you and i usually get a human to talk to
00:08:12| them when you talk to a human at any of these companies you're 10 times better off what kind of discount do they give you they did they like refund you or they
00:08:22| resend the thing or accept a refund or whatever it is but it's just cool because talking to a human is the key and the bigger the company
00:08:30| [Music] punch it in and um donate to us we will call you if anyone donated to us would you call them personally they gave us
00:08:40| their phone number i mean i'd probably spend five minutes talking to them yeah eight minutes five here's a thousand dollars for the unpainters i need six minutes dan's like
00:08:55| get out no that's minefield this is a minefield we don't want to get out of here we're not dealing with this so these the other thing is um
00:09:05| what you were mentioning with the computer stuff like i deal with wiring cable so i the worst workers at my company like the bottom of the barrel like when you
00:09:14| just start out i've mentioned this on an episode before i'm sure the people that you think are bots when you talk to them yeah i'm i'm a chat guy did they not
00:09:23| allow you to type they just have like preset answers that would be amazing no even better so um i don't know if every company does this or they have preset answers at my company
00:09:35| we got preset answers from one of the smarter guys who was in my position and would just save the responses so he didn't have to deal with anyone's [ __ ]
00:09:42| so someone comes in chat and they're like your wire at four gauge four um sx7 what's the ampacity at 50 feet and yeah someone's asking me this
00:09:52| there's literally thousands of wires i just started here like two months ago you know what i i'm like this i'm like what the flying hell is this guy talking about
00:09:59| and he's an engineer so he knows 10 times more than me about wire and cable i'm just selling [ __ ] and i'm literally the new guy here so i pull up my word document that mr
00:10:10| pomp saved me and i'm like oh let me get a good one for this guy circumstance no that's just his name oh anyway real name i copy and paste some of his good
00:10:19| ones he's like unfortunately we do not have engineering support at this moment if you would please direct your questions to customer service which will
00:10:26| loop it back to us in a day do you basketball would you accept the answer i don't know in chat let me talk to your manager hold on a second and wait 30 minutes
00:10:46| the other cool thing is see it's so funny we're talking about the same thing but i'm on the other end and it's just so funny uh the other cool move and i've mentioned this before but
00:10:54| it's still it's the only joy i have at my job their name is spelled out right in front of you i can see your account i can see what pages you're clicking on
00:11:02| i always type their name in wrong if they're being an [ __ ] so if it's claire c-l-a-i-r-e i'm like hold on claire let me look into that but i spell claire wrong on purpose
00:11:12| like i cut out her eye or i displace the e in the r so it's like clay error and i'm like let me look into this i let him sit for like 5-10 minutes and then i'll be like unfortunately we
00:11:22| do not have engineering support at this time if you would contact this it's so cool oh the other the other slick move is i can see what web pages you're clicking
00:11:32| on so if they ask me a question about a certain wire or cable like if they would you would ask about a certain computer part or something
00:11:39| i see that you clicked on the page and you're perfectly right you're looking at the exact model looking at the make you're looking at the problem you're looking at the faq
00:11:46| page i copy it paste it and say i would start here and just send it to them and i crack up because i know they're looking at it but they don't
00:11:55| know i know so it's like sometimes i get an exclamation point i'm already looking there but now i got five more minutes because i'm busy you know what i
00:12:02| mean so i am the chain but just a moment just just a moment but it's like it's it's a it's a go back and forth because
00:12:13| i'm not educated in this and most big companies the people who are doing this customer service work are not the higher paid higher ups at all in fact it's the
00:12:22| people who just started who have no clue what they're talking about so when you say i know more than them you're 100 right oh yeah but that's what a big company does they
00:12:31| put their weakest links at the bottom so even if you attack the weakest link it's it's either a robot or a human but the humans gonna be like yeah just go to the
00:12:40| robot i don't [ __ ] know clipper yeah we're wasting your time i'm wasting your time but what what more do you want me to do is my question for you care i want you
00:12:53| to care nick i don't i don't but again this isn't on me as the lowest worker or them on the lowest worker it's the big company
00:13:03| they know what the hell they're doing yeah they put as many layers between [ __ ] and them as possible some of them are robot layers some are human layers either way they don't want
00:13:13| to answer your question they don't want to give in they want to keep selling a product and churning it out because that's capitalism baby
00:13:20| so wasting time it's just a way of making money i guess and for you to push through for an hour two hours maybe you'll finally get a hold of
00:13:29| someone how many people who have the same issue you have will do the two to three hour workload to get to a human to complain to maybe get an answer
00:13:39| or you could wait till the future happens and then google has auto caller ai but do you think an ai talking to another the company's ai because the companies are going to have
00:13:49| all their ais right so the two ais are going to be talking to each other it's like these two chinese restaurants like someone calls up and like says what they want
00:13:57| and then they they tell them back what they ordered but they called some other chinese restaurant and then it sounds like that person is ordering
00:14:04| so they repeat back that's genius that's the future baby i love it huh can't wait for it time wasters predators
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