Transcript of Episode 33 - The Clock
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00:00:14| okay almost ready to go dude you own that tonight yep imagine you are it is we're going to talk about types of
00:00:35| people yeah always watch the clock [ __ ] in general dude oh yes you can the clock is the greatest predator of all
00:00:50| it watches you clock in it watches you clock out it changes how you how you go about your day it affects your time i'm going to talk about the greatest
00:00:59| predator of all time the man-made enemy keeps us all chained towards not man-made i mean the clock is real right it exists without us and with us
00:01:13| clock that it was not made by man the universal clock and with the sun and the earth revolving around the sun is our enemy time time exists without us right hmm
00:01:29| do we even really exist my workplace does and my clock in you actually have to clock in or do they monitor when you sign in i have to clock in so i sign in and then
00:01:44| there's a sign into the clock in page one time i forgot my password it took me like 10 minutes to reset my password and everything so i clocked in at like 808 and i got an
00:01:53| email that day for my manager and he was like noticing a lot of 801 804 and today and 808 i was like we got to really clean this up and i was like
00:02:03| i was like hey why didn't you just say that to me you you sit eight feet away yes and b you emailed it so there's traceability in case there's a problem down the line
00:02:13| and i was like you're a [ __ ] i was like i was like you know what for the first time in my life i didn't even tell him the truth i didn't tell him
00:02:22| that the clock in system didn't work because there's traceability of me having to reset my password do all this tell hr i needed a new whatever oh do you know what i changed
00:02:33| my password to suck it what close wirefucker9 so if you log into mine it's now wirefucker9 because i need a capital f i need a number i need a letter i need
00:02:45| everything so and i couldn't use any of my past passwords that's the best part about this oh you've used that before you need a
00:02:52| new one me i don't freaking know lady it's always a lady tell me my password you know a person on the other side's hand i think i've seen that one before uh we
00:03:02| won't allow you to waste your time so it is a big waste of time logging in clicking things clocking in i have this you have to
00:03:12| clock in anywhere no no no who cares it's nice there's time wasters though we hired a new guy and the new guy was like emailing me stuff he said yeah five feet
00:03:23| away stand up and just be like hey hey question what do you think yeah instead it gets i don't know i don't know why people
00:03:32| do you think your manager likes his job i think he's okay with it i think he hates the training me part not me me and the four other guys i think he thinks that's the stupidest
00:03:44| thing in the world do you think he's probably getting extra to save time to bug you about your time not being saved no because if he looked
00:03:53| into everything i did he would have a lot of emails to send me once in a while when he turns his sauron vision to me he just tells me all the things i'm doing wrong and i'm like yeah
00:04:02| of course i've been i've been doing that for two weeks you finally noticed but like at that point i'm like oh yeah you're right i'll fix that
00:04:10| and then like i know he's doing something else so i'm off the books how good is your horse noise you've done this before a little horse play in your past
00:04:31| uh my last company actually had a biometrics uh scanner eyeball fingerprint nah fingerprint fingerprint but like that's kind of
00:04:41| that's kind of low yeah i uh i've seen those at other places and i'm like i feel like your soul like it's the indian method native american method but like every piece of you that gets
00:04:52| recorded it's taken slowly fading away another fingerprint turns to dust the hair falls out
00:05:09| new blades yeah but like do you have to clock out for smoke breaks or bathroom breaks or anything like that because i think amazon does something like that don't
00:05:19| they the warehouse workers they have to piss in a bottle because they don't have enough time to take a dump crazy a little bit transmute their poop into a
00:05:29| urine they do not have to transmute their poop into sweat wow it's really sweat so they can just run it off they run faster it just wafts away
00:05:43| well and that greasy greasy poop can just slide right on out i was so i never thought that was a skill but apparently you know you can put that on your resume like
00:05:52| poops in five minutes poop swipes and out in five minutes yeah boom so at this job uh legally they have to let us have smoke breaks at 10 am
00:06:05| and 3 p.m there's a bell ding and then you have to go out all at the same time no but everyone does go out at the same time that's what i do like zombies out the door oh i go every
00:06:16| time do i smoke no i love it i just go out with the smokers i'm like chill with all the smokers and they're like you don't even smoke
00:06:25| while you come out and i'm like it's a break you know what i mean and i can totally tell my manager is a little hurt that i do
00:06:33| because everyone else is smoking and and he's like i'm like up gotta go gotta get my uh secondhand smoke on well like you're being healthy and he's
00:06:42| disgusted by it he's like oh but i'm not i'm getting secondhand smoke if you think about it you can't just walk around a health break
00:06:50| like why are there health breaks give me a [ __ ] break there should be a health break versus a smoke break makes sense to me right yeah that does make sense actually same
00:07:01| amount of time yeah i agree with you so here's the other thing there's um your clock um at my work there's a system in place
00:07:12| if you're under 40 hours they'll talk to you and they might have to use an hour of your time if it's over an hour of missing time right they just make you stay like
00:07:22| friday and then you waste time talking you get detention you could or they'll say hey how about we just take an hour off your pay and it's like
00:07:32| okay that's stupid though just take back all that you're stealing empty your pockets that's about an hour's worth but if you put in 44 hours of work that
00:07:42| week you will not get any overtime do you know what i had an argument with my boss one time with i usually stay till
00:07:53| stuff after five o'clock where no one's calling you no one's emailing you i can clean up some things finish up i put in not a big deal right he sent me those clock ins that were
00:08:04| like 804 801 803 and said hey if you add up all this time uh you're missing a lot of the clock in so we want you here at eight and i was like rich
00:08:19| i'm i'm here 20 minutes late every day three minutes late average in that's 17 plus minutes isn't that good and he said well to me it is but management just sees you're not
00:08:31| here at eight oh it was like and i was like rich you're telling me you want me here eight to five someone who's your 804 to 520 is less
00:08:42| than and he said i see what you're saying and he was trying to word his words he was like i see what you're saying i just you should be here at eight and i was
00:08:52| like okay dude i gotcha huh i will clock out at five and tell you to suck your own dick [Laughter]
00:09:00| and he was i didn't say that out loud i was very nice about it i can't wait till you do if you do record it please it's coming up it's coming up
00:09:08| but regardless the clock is the weirdest thing like it's painful for such an amount of inanimate object control how about how time passes during the day
00:09:23| like there's weird segments where went by and i barely blinked but then i looked at 308 lord this day is lasting forever and it's i don't understand how that works
00:09:42| it's a perception thing i guess always so there's a weird scenario here where we have like an electronics manufacturer and they have set breaks like you do and
00:09:53| it's like a floor of like maybe there doing something because i'm testing like it just becomes silent because all those people are just trained to leave
00:10:05| very quietly at that moment and then you look around and it's just an empty building it's like it almost is it's zombie-like i mean i think that's what zombies are really
00:10:16| reflecting is the corporate environment and people just mindlessly living without actually living and i feel like that's what happens is that you get stuck in a routine and you just
00:10:27| do it without thinking about it and you shuffle out the door and then you look around and you wonder what the hell just happened
00:10:37| it's kind of weird but would you recommend giving more time and having more fun at work i feel like you have to put in so much work to overcome that
00:10:51| that most people don't get to the point where it's like actually right yeah it's where is that favors right corporation's going to win
00:11:01| every time yep pretty much the house is stacked you are bound to lose more often than you win do you think so why not yeah like a
00:11:13| power washer just cleaning people's driveways that is weird that you picked that exact profession and i'm not sure
00:11:24| what's the power wash we're getting keep in mind there's certain days you can't work there are certain times of the year you're probably not getting any work right snowplow
00:11:34| car washer long head like here take this for instance do you know how many snows we've had this year five one and it was less than three inches
00:11:46| it was like maybe two and it's february late february all you're doing i don't know we're gonna get any more you're doomed so what we're getting at is the clock is
00:12:03| the enemy time is the enemy corporation uses time against you yeah but it doesn't really reward you for time does it measure your effort
00:12:13| really are you putting really effort than jan or marcy it's weird because the corporation will just ask how much time you're putting in versus jan or marcy
00:12:26| when i left my previous two jobs what they did was oh we see that you don't work overtime very regularly you only work a few hours over time it's
00:12:36| like yeah because i finished my [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah it sucks because i finished well what's weird you just suck on this page
00:12:47| hold it up you just touched on exactly it touched on exactly what i did when my manager ran the report on my clock ins he just ran in on my clock ins not on my clock outs
00:12:57| yeah like he was like you were this amount of estimated hour you shouldn't be going every day as well two minutes earlier yeah just two minutes and oscillating
00:13:08| everyone control it so much that he's just like every day he's like you were late today i left her up yesterday [Music]
00:13:18| and then you need to [ __ ] with his computer so he can't log in so that his manager then does it um i could see that you're five minutes late
00:13:26| they're clocking is there off no no i was right here my computer has a goddamn error oh well that's insane because the clock in shows you start talking in circles
00:13:39| because the clock in program we have registered um around a report but i'm going to tell you tonight but what we're focusing on here is when
00:13:47| you come into work i was here for an hour extra i was one minute late well i want to talk about the minute late i can see what you're saying
00:13:59| but that's not what the program records the uh ultimately what we're talking about here is the clock is the weirdest thing like who says you can only be productive from
00:14:12| eight to five or uh nine to five whatever the the old expression is why is that the ultimate time have you ever had to work hours that were off
00:14:22| hours no i didn't have any second shift jobs i don't think i could do that i feel like that'd be weird well i did have
00:14:29| i was a waiter work nights but how was that weird or just like work at night i it kind of ruins the day because you can't
00:14:40| like you can't hang out oh i could do a lot during the day it depends what like scenario you're in i guess if all your friends are in the same
00:14:50| schedule it doesn't really matter you can't get drunk that's a day or a night shift that's that is the one thing you could have nookie you could play sports you could
00:15:00| exercise you could go to a walk which is maybe why people stay out late yeah maybe because their schedules are weird i don't know if i could be a
00:15:09| bartender i don't think i could be up until two or three every night i'd be the best bartender in the world oh i'd be so good oh i'd be disgusting
00:15:20| no but i mean but can you imagine that was my life yeah you would perfect you would not see family age well or age well all of a sudden i'd be 90.
00:15:32| you know what i mean turning around polishing a glass hey guys check out the unpinners and the predators blog i don't know
00:15:44| i think that's that suck on my brown shirt stuck on my poser my paycheck oh anyway what we're talking about here folks is
00:15:56| time it's the ultimate unit of how we friggin do our jobs but it doesn't really have to do with our jobs it's just how long they want us to
00:16:05| not be home not having free time not having fun yeah they do they 100 do if you could get the same amount of work done in they'd want you to stick around for 20
00:16:19| hours doing nothing wouldn't that is that weird i think so it's [ __ ] up they want your life they do so time time this valuable thing yeah
00:16:32| strange let's [ __ ] off the corporations [Laughter] yeah just lock the deal no you have to go to the one you started with
00:17:00| thanks for joining
00:00:35| people yeah always watch the clock [ __ ] in general dude oh yes you can the clock is the greatest predator of all
00:00:50| it watches you clock in it watches you clock out it changes how you how you go about your day it affects your time i'm going to talk about the greatest
00:00:59| predator of all time the man-made enemy keeps us all chained towards not man-made i mean the clock is real right it exists without us and with us
00:01:13| clock that it was not made by man the universal clock and with the sun and the earth revolving around the sun is our enemy time time exists without us right hmm
00:01:29| do we even really exist my workplace does and my clock in you actually have to clock in or do they monitor when you sign in i have to clock in so i sign in and then
00:01:44| there's a sign into the clock in page one time i forgot my password it took me like 10 minutes to reset my password and everything so i clocked in at like 808 and i got an
00:01:53| email that day for my manager and he was like noticing a lot of 801 804 and today and 808 i was like we got to really clean this up and i was like
00:02:03| i was like hey why didn't you just say that to me you you sit eight feet away yes and b you emailed it so there's traceability in case there's a problem down the line
00:02:13| and i was like you're a [ __ ] i was like i was like you know what for the first time in my life i didn't even tell him the truth i didn't tell him
00:02:22| that the clock in system didn't work because there's traceability of me having to reset my password do all this tell hr i needed a new whatever oh do you know what i changed
00:02:33| my password to suck it what close wirefucker9 so if you log into mine it's now wirefucker9 because i need a capital f i need a number i need a letter i need
00:02:45| everything so and i couldn't use any of my past passwords that's the best part about this oh you've used that before you need a
00:02:52| new one me i don't freaking know lady it's always a lady tell me my password you know a person on the other side's hand i think i've seen that one before uh we
00:03:02| won't allow you to waste your time so it is a big waste of time logging in clicking things clocking in i have this you have to
00:03:12| clock in anywhere no no no who cares it's nice there's time wasters though we hired a new guy and the new guy was like emailing me stuff he said yeah five feet
00:03:23| away stand up and just be like hey hey question what do you think yeah instead it gets i don't know i don't know why people
00:03:32| do you think your manager likes his job i think he's okay with it i think he hates the training me part not me me and the four other guys i think he thinks that's the stupidest
00:03:44| thing in the world do you think he's probably getting extra to save time to bug you about your time not being saved no because if he looked
00:03:53| into everything i did he would have a lot of emails to send me once in a while when he turns his sauron vision to me he just tells me all the things i'm doing wrong and i'm like yeah
00:04:02| of course i've been i've been doing that for two weeks you finally noticed but like at that point i'm like oh yeah you're right i'll fix that
00:04:10| and then like i know he's doing something else so i'm off the books how good is your horse noise you've done this before a little horse play in your past
00:04:31| uh my last company actually had a biometrics uh scanner eyeball fingerprint nah fingerprint fingerprint but like that's kind of
00:04:41| that's kind of low yeah i uh i've seen those at other places and i'm like i feel like your soul like it's the indian method native american method but like every piece of you that gets
00:04:52| recorded it's taken slowly fading away another fingerprint turns to dust the hair falls out
00:05:09| new blades yeah but like do you have to clock out for smoke breaks or bathroom breaks or anything like that because i think amazon does something like that don't
00:05:19| they the warehouse workers they have to piss in a bottle because they don't have enough time to take a dump crazy a little bit transmute their poop into a
00:05:29| urine they do not have to transmute their poop into sweat wow it's really sweat so they can just run it off they run faster it just wafts away
00:05:43| well and that greasy greasy poop can just slide right on out i was so i never thought that was a skill but apparently you know you can put that on your resume like
00:05:52| poops in five minutes poop swipes and out in five minutes yeah boom so at this job uh legally they have to let us have smoke breaks at 10 am
00:06:05| and 3 p.m there's a bell ding and then you have to go out all at the same time no but everyone does go out at the same time that's what i do like zombies out the door oh i go every
00:06:16| time do i smoke no i love it i just go out with the smokers i'm like chill with all the smokers and they're like you don't even smoke
00:06:25| while you come out and i'm like it's a break you know what i mean and i can totally tell my manager is a little hurt that i do
00:06:33| because everyone else is smoking and and he's like i'm like up gotta go gotta get my uh secondhand smoke on well like you're being healthy and he's
00:06:42| disgusted by it he's like oh but i'm not i'm getting secondhand smoke if you think about it you can't just walk around a health break
00:06:50| like why are there health breaks give me a [ __ ] break there should be a health break versus a smoke break makes sense to me right yeah that does make sense actually same
00:07:01| amount of time yeah i agree with you so here's the other thing there's um your clock um at my work there's a system in place
00:07:12| if you're under 40 hours they'll talk to you and they might have to use an hour of your time if it's over an hour of missing time right they just make you stay like
00:07:22| friday and then you waste time talking you get detention you could or they'll say hey how about we just take an hour off your pay and it's like
00:07:32| okay that's stupid though just take back all that you're stealing empty your pockets that's about an hour's worth but if you put in 44 hours of work that
00:07:42| week you will not get any overtime do you know what i had an argument with my boss one time with i usually stay till
00:07:53| stuff after five o'clock where no one's calling you no one's emailing you i can clean up some things finish up i put in not a big deal right he sent me those clock ins that were
00:08:04| like 804 801 803 and said hey if you add up all this time uh you're missing a lot of the clock in so we want you here at eight and i was like rich
00:08:19| i'm i'm here 20 minutes late every day three minutes late average in that's 17 plus minutes isn't that good and he said well to me it is but management just sees you're not
00:08:31| here at eight oh it was like and i was like rich you're telling me you want me here eight to five someone who's your 804 to 520 is less
00:08:42| than and he said i see what you're saying and he was trying to word his words he was like i see what you're saying i just you should be here at eight and i was
00:08:52| like okay dude i gotcha huh i will clock out at five and tell you to suck your own dick [Laughter]
00:09:00| and he was i didn't say that out loud i was very nice about it i can't wait till you do if you do record it please it's coming up it's coming up
00:09:08| but regardless the clock is the weirdest thing like it's painful for such an amount of inanimate object control how about how time passes during the day
00:09:23| like there's weird segments where went by and i barely blinked but then i looked at 308 lord this day is lasting forever and it's i don't understand how that works
00:09:42| it's a perception thing i guess always so there's a weird scenario here where we have like an electronics manufacturer and they have set breaks like you do and
00:09:53| it's like a floor of like maybe there doing something because i'm testing like it just becomes silent because all those people are just trained to leave
00:10:05| very quietly at that moment and then you look around and it's just an empty building it's like it almost is it's zombie-like i mean i think that's what zombies are really
00:10:16| reflecting is the corporate environment and people just mindlessly living without actually living and i feel like that's what happens is that you get stuck in a routine and you just
00:10:27| do it without thinking about it and you shuffle out the door and then you look around and you wonder what the hell just happened
00:10:37| it's kind of weird but would you recommend giving more time and having more fun at work i feel like you have to put in so much work to overcome that
00:10:51| that most people don't get to the point where it's like actually right yeah it's where is that favors right corporation's going to win
00:11:01| every time yep pretty much the house is stacked you are bound to lose more often than you win do you think so why not yeah like a
00:11:13| power washer just cleaning people's driveways that is weird that you picked that exact profession and i'm not sure
00:11:24| what's the power wash we're getting keep in mind there's certain days you can't work there are certain times of the year you're probably not getting any work right snowplow
00:11:34| car washer long head like here take this for instance do you know how many snows we've had this year five one and it was less than three inches
00:11:46| it was like maybe two and it's february late february all you're doing i don't know we're gonna get any more you're doomed so what we're getting at is the clock is
00:12:03| the enemy time is the enemy corporation uses time against you yeah but it doesn't really reward you for time does it measure your effort
00:12:13| really are you putting really effort than jan or marcy it's weird because the corporation will just ask how much time you're putting in versus jan or marcy
00:12:26| when i left my previous two jobs what they did was oh we see that you don't work overtime very regularly you only work a few hours over time it's
00:12:36| like yeah because i finished my [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah it sucks because i finished well what's weird you just suck on this page
00:12:47| hold it up you just touched on exactly it touched on exactly what i did when my manager ran the report on my clock ins he just ran in on my clock ins not on my clock outs
00:12:57| yeah like he was like you were this amount of estimated hour you shouldn't be going every day as well two minutes earlier yeah just two minutes and oscillating
00:13:08| everyone control it so much that he's just like every day he's like you were late today i left her up yesterday [Music]
00:13:18| and then you need to [ __ ] with his computer so he can't log in so that his manager then does it um i could see that you're five minutes late
00:13:26| they're clocking is there off no no i was right here my computer has a goddamn error oh well that's insane because the clock in shows you start talking in circles
00:13:39| because the clock in program we have registered um around a report but i'm going to tell you tonight but what we're focusing on here is when
00:13:47| you come into work i was here for an hour extra i was one minute late well i want to talk about the minute late i can see what you're saying
00:13:59| but that's not what the program records the uh ultimately what we're talking about here is the clock is the weirdest thing like who says you can only be productive from
00:14:12| eight to five or uh nine to five whatever the the old expression is why is that the ultimate time have you ever had to work hours that were off
00:14:22| hours no i didn't have any second shift jobs i don't think i could do that i feel like that'd be weird well i did have
00:14:29| i was a waiter work nights but how was that weird or just like work at night i it kind of ruins the day because you can't
00:14:40| like you can't hang out oh i could do a lot during the day it depends what like scenario you're in i guess if all your friends are in the same
00:14:50| schedule it doesn't really matter you can't get drunk that's a day or a night shift that's that is the one thing you could have nookie you could play sports you could
00:15:00| exercise you could go to a walk which is maybe why people stay out late yeah maybe because their schedules are weird i don't know if i could be a
00:15:09| bartender i don't think i could be up until two or three every night i'd be the best bartender in the world oh i'd be so good oh i'd be disgusting
00:15:20| no but i mean but can you imagine that was my life yeah you would perfect you would not see family age well or age well all of a sudden i'd be 90.
00:15:32| you know what i mean turning around polishing a glass hey guys check out the unpinners and the predators blog i don't know
00:15:44| i think that's that suck on my brown shirt stuck on my poser my paycheck oh anyway what we're talking about here folks is
00:15:56| time it's the ultimate unit of how we friggin do our jobs but it doesn't really have to do with our jobs it's just how long they want us to
00:16:05| not be home not having free time not having fun yeah they do they 100 do if you could get the same amount of work done in they'd want you to stick around for 20
00:16:19| hours doing nothing wouldn't that is that weird i think so it's [ __ ] up they want your life they do so time time this valuable thing yeah
00:16:32| strange let's [ __ ] off the corporations [Laughter] yeah just lock the deal no you have to go to the one you started with
00:17:00| thanks for joining
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