Transcript of Episode 2 - Rome
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00:00:01| well it's another episode today oh yeah it is I didn't prep anything that good
00:00:10| or bad what does some maggots we can't do this
00:00:12| episode but we're not gonna pander that's for sure folks
00:00:16| yeah but I'm Dan Nick over here not together we are young paddlers yep okay
00:00:30| good really good it folks it's gonna sell tickets gum it up folks Elm it up
00:00:39| at home hmm never take a nice nice breath nice
00:00:44| relaxing inhale we're gonna turn this into a meditation podcast for a minute
00:00:50| think about all your failures think about everything you've done wrong think
00:00:55| about all the vices interplay think about yeah downward dog
00:00:59| think about yoga pants I was going with the vices but yeah that's a lie
00:01:05| Miami Vice baby mm-hmm I'm saying think about all those bad things in your life
00:01:11| and you're anxious that you might not get something done or you're not doing
00:01:15| something right in your life or someone in your life is sick and just think
00:01:18| about that for a couple minutes dwell on it dwell on it really let it
00:01:23| hit home that's called meditating folks you feel
00:01:26| that yeah that's good welcome to the UM panders folks welcome you you just got
00:01:32| meditated on kotas I like calling folks I just love it gonna be a good episode
00:01:38| tonight books gonna break record for folks in a podcast no man no man I don't
00:01:47| know if I can match your folks no you can't because mine are flowing pretty
00:01:51| natural folks I'm not even kidding looking at some notes here for today's
00:01:55| episode folks you're in for a surprise I think I've met be a world record by
00:02:02| now quarter the rate what what folks per minute
00:02:06| how many can you say and I was looking at uh what we do next yeah I can't
00:02:13| figure out how to navigate our favorite app check it out in the local store
00:02:18| what's called Oh it's called done panderers all over the place um yeah
00:02:26| right our socials I'll do that after oh we can do it before talked with one let
00:02:31| me do it seven times or in a subset we can to every five minutes we just find
00:02:34| anyone there are no rules we are the rules I think under comm is
00:02:40| probably the one we want to lead them to don't find everything to everything
00:02:45| everything that's a lot of everything we will uh-huh
00:02:52| remember folks it may not be suitable for you so if you get frightened or
00:02:58| scared find a safe place listen to this with the lights on if it really offends
00:03:05| you not gonna pander just stop listening now these opinions here in tho are
00:03:11| representative of our employers or us as individuals I'm just spouting someone
00:03:16| else's opinions here mm-hmm yes I'm he's not cryptid it's purely
00:03:20| scripted we're just actors actually uh there's a third party he's he even a
00:03:26| little too much away here he's larger than us it's like we're the corners and
00:03:31| he's the top you may refer to this as a pyramid Wow but he has all of our lines
00:03:36| all of our opinions all the things that might get us in trouble and are bad all
00:03:41| the things that are good right here folks
00:03:43| that's us we're the base yeah and the base is a most important instrument in
00:03:48| music actually I think about that yeah it's really the connection between the
00:03:54| drums and the guitar I mean the guitar would look like an asshole without the
00:03:58| bass and the drums would look ridiculous without the bass you know what's
00:04:05| connecting the two that really need the beat say it's the most important this
00:04:10| would have been a good time to have that one shirt on that says drums and bass
00:04:13| sure what a cut just kidding folks we're down pampers good night
00:04:23| oh no it's thinking that gonna stop and this is what you have to deal with
00:04:30| that's this is being a parent folks yeah I it's funny I'm not even legally his
00:04:37| parent we found this kid in the park he looked
00:04:40| lost we just took him put him in the van and we're raising him crazy yeah it was
00:04:46| in another state so I haven't heard anything yet but I'm sure across state
00:04:49| lines does that make it more bad I think there's a statute they were like they
00:04:54| were like he's a Duncan a kid whoa he's abducted a kid across state lines over
00:05:01| line how many full-grown adult women do you think you could plow through if they
00:05:06| realized you're stealing a child is this a sexual question they were stealing my
00:05:16| time no like I'm a child and they're in the park and they're in the way none
00:05:21| because I don't need the kid that bad I it really kids are awful if you had if
00:05:27| someone had my kid and I had to plow through women to get to my tile it's
00:05:31| good Oh like seven dozen whatever the front
00:05:35| end would give out you know anything just you'd be assessing yourself on all
00:05:41| these women uh we worth it and there's no way reflects my opinion of women I
00:05:47| actually love women more than men they could be people too but I'm just
00:05:50| trying to you know give you a size range they are welcome to the unders we think
00:05:57| women are people and I think that actual I hope it is duped our whole life is
00:06:05| this but yeah there are also animals yeah well that's part of it to you in
00:06:12| claws nails you'd have all sorts of stuff that you would not expect I think
00:06:17| a cool thing to do hold on I told her this in the shower today so that's a lie
00:06:22| I didn't take a shower thing I don't know when I thought of this but I
00:06:24| thought of this today say you got a group of
00:06:28| you gotta get everyone in or put one and everyone's gotta go to the one you gotta
00:06:32| be like yo CJ you ever sex with an animal and goods no man everyone's gotta
00:06:40| go women are animals you know and that's
00:06:42| not what you mean everyone's got looking like you're disgusting nothing make him
00:06:47| feeling reallocate yeah I think would be awesome uh that's my brandy humor um
00:06:53| everyone likes that brandy humor it's a hmm no one likes that brand humor
00:07:00| that's that there are certain people who do but go potty
00:07:05| wait what are they stickers huh are you calling yourself a sick girl I guess oh
00:07:13| no it's happening the podcast is falling apart one of us
00:07:20| is a sicko mm-hmm it's out there it's me folks I have to research for the record
00:07:24| I don't like sick things I like humor about sick things there's a distinction
00:07:28| right I should yeah cuz you draw on comedy
00:07:33| from hopefully things that will never yes sir Oh dope mm-hmm well this does
00:07:42| lead us to our next segment yeah I yeah it's a new one okay smirk
00:07:47| smirk or smile tell you what that sex with animals to had me smile literally
00:07:55| not a lot of you at home that's fine anything make you smirk horse month you
00:08:04| know I did walk by two people today that didn't even acknowledge me after I said
00:08:07| hey how's it going where they coworkers are strangers or eyerly their co-workers
00:08:12| so I knew these people oh that's rude were they talking they
00:08:17| were not talking that one was smoking cigarette and the other one was
00:08:22| I don't even know I mean the one was inhaling the cool cool fumes of nicotine
00:08:27| and probably menthol so they were probably really getting jacked off on
00:08:32| the stuff so I can understand how they right they they probably didn't even see
00:08:36| they were a whole nother world you know about smoking cigarettes is real cool
00:08:45| everyone knows what I've said is not Hitler - our opinions that's not my
00:08:52| opinion folks I think so many cigarettes actually pretty gross but I can agree
00:08:58| with your coworker right but your coworker who was smoking was probably
00:09:01| busy enjoying their smoke or whatever you do you handle it or enjoy it or do
00:09:07| yeah I don't know if you get a high from smoking I'm not really under percent on
00:09:11| that you don't get you don't have to eat what I'm found out and you get a little
00:09:16| bit of a buzz a little bit of energy I think really you get energy from it so
00:09:21| like Toby so it's like slamming a quick energy drink almost it's gross for your
00:09:26| breath and body yeah sure and by sure I'm not gonna stand up I'm not going for
00:09:37| that but it made me think like whenever that happens in there I don't get a
00:09:43| response did you think they're purposely ignoring me for some reason or they
00:09:47| didn't hear me because my volume level is too low and it's like did I whisper
00:09:51| that now you think like I can't practice my whisper start hating yourself you
00:09:56| know you're like you blame yourself yeah yourself blame her
00:09:59| you start muttering I know you haven't heard me hey you heard me you son of a
00:10:09| bitch you're screaming at them just to prove a point
00:10:14| i'm not a faiiure you coward and I didn't see my wife sent me a text she's
00:10:21| leaving me this morning uh what were you saying nothing nothing
00:10:25| I think it's were me that's what makes Bluetooth really confusing nowadays I
00:10:30| mean that's kind of an old technology what kind of disease do it
00:10:36| go into Bluetooth a little bit because I did like to bring our sponsor of the
00:10:41| episode into the next section home and it actually has to do with Bluetooth
00:10:47| technology man I wish we had Bluetooth headphones because then we just Boop
00:10:51| right in and we'd be good and then you wouldn't even know hold on how would you
00:10:55| hook your su PC oh I'm being serious I think they have a little receiver like a
00:11:02| transmitter and receiver this is what I was talking about last episode now is my
00:11:06| almost walk confused for some reason I don't understand what you know anyway
00:11:13| folks at home like to take a moment to say I was surfing on a little website we
00:11:18| all know it they got delivery trucks around the United States fingers are
00:11:22| doing the type of type of trying to find something need something for the beach
00:11:26| it's not just for me anymore it's for the family are you getting a giant beach
00:11:31| towel well nice like him across the anchor
00:11:37| sound last mm mm-hmm little Bluetooth speaker here looks a
00:11:42| little right nice tax a hell of a punch let's call the sandal core I like the
00:11:49| sound let that not be a reflection on how poorly I advertise item have you
00:11:54| listened to you I have um Bluetooth capabilities up to 60 feet IP 47 or
00:12:03| whatever the number is everyone house is your first one butter proof Bluetooth
00:12:06| speak my first real one I got one when and my son was born but it was like it
00:12:10| kind of like a 15 dollar piece of junk okay this isn't too expensive thirty
00:12:15| dollars and try to connect it right now I think I did and it does look kind of
00:12:21| hefty in your hand there it does it's not big but it packs a nice punch as the
00:12:27| Russkies would say let me tell you that folks and because we share a YouTube
00:12:32| page but I love it a little bit this bad boy
00:12:43| you can crank it it's 60 feet it's waterproof
00:12:47| oh it holds a charge for 24 friggin our spokes huh anyway you can pick yours up
00:12:54| for 30 bucks it's good as hell yeah that's from the others ah see it was the
00:13:09| song of the summer I like to make someone straight bummer those are the
00:13:13| puffs for everyone on YouTube watching this right now I discovered the song
00:13:19| back in May I started playing it don't love with it get proof I do when we did
00:13:26| my logs my friend um maybe late May but uh cyle we went on vacation for a week
00:13:33| in late June played it everyday kept telling people this is our Jam you know
00:13:38| I was forcing it because I was mm-hmm I'm an outlier remember people receiving
00:13:42| it was I half the crew like uh this is stupid and then by day five and six and
00:13:47| seven everyone else was requesting it and people were getting in on it and I
00:13:51| was like there comes on you hey Nick can you play that in your two feet away
00:13:54| nearly sure I can just look it up on the YouTube I got right there but um they
00:14:01| started playing it everyone refers to me when they play it like it was like cool
00:14:04| it was like our little secret and then I recently heard it in like a
00:14:07| Ford commercial I heard it in another commercial and it's playing on like the
00:14:11| pop like q102 around here so I'm kind of bummed that it became popular does that
00:14:17| ever happen to you like where something yours became mainstream and you're like
00:14:21| hey but then you can't take fake credit for it it I don't think big credit for
00:14:27| it no one says stop me from that but like you knew that was gonna be the song
00:14:31| of the summer like what like there's some song summer
00:14:34| I love so many damn songs and they never be home hits hmm I'm not talking about
00:14:41| songs you love talk about as long as you know that will be
00:14:43| super popular even though you hate them like beer I loves and sure like one song
00:14:49| of the summer like Shakira hips don't lie that was a song of a summer in
00:14:55| college it was a hundred percent agree but I mean you didn't discover that and
00:15:01| then on sudden like a month later everyone was like whoa did everyone find
00:15:04| out that's all Dan likes Shakira hips and
00:15:06| she was so he was popular in high school right so uh keep going uncle have you
00:15:14| ever have you ever discovered something that was yours and then became really
00:15:21| popular like did you like um Star Wars before it became like Hunt summers
00:15:25| mainstream yeah but no that was way before me I was like babies you're right
00:15:32| you're right but it was nerdy for a while now it's like everyone does it
00:15:36| feel like Zoolander had like a poor reception in the beginning and then it
00:15:41| became like super pop oh yeah makes sense I don't know but I mmm far as
00:15:47| music I don't have to think about it this is one for a future podcast okay
00:15:53| yeah you don't have to answer it right now yeah would you like to sponsor
00:15:56| anything go ahead um I'm gonna save my sponsorship for the next round I think
00:16:02| you did a good job right there okay I like that
00:16:06| yeah good job good job gang we're here at the the UM panders where help you
00:16:13| yeah and let's move on to a fresh topic like the hurricane is spinning in the
00:16:20| Gulf right now that's about to hit but town near me actually don't know
00:16:24| anything about that really it doesn't been showing and flashing on the news no
00:16:29| oh yes what's it called Harvey Harvey Dent is it two-faced the front wall it's
00:16:37| gonna get well it's gonna insert itself into the United States pull out and then
00:16:42| spin and go right and drop about I ran it once and like the entire coast
00:16:51| of Texas and it's gonna be like a major hurricane
00:16:55| by the time hits which I discounted entirely because I it hit the you oh
00:17:01| crap oh I love that word Yucatan hit the Yucatan Peninsula
00:17:04| kynesha yeah oh you breaking up you break it up on me I'm sorry I was uh
00:17:09| trying to ruin the podcast I was straight
00:17:15| the thing is I was waiting for you to be like what is that and like stop the
00:17:19| podcast but you kept getting more excited about Yucatan and I was like you
00:17:22| could ship it shit he was getting really into it so I was like I better abort so
00:17:26| folks don't play practical jokes hook your Bluetooth speaker up and then put
00:17:31| pornography on your phone hmm or your horrible horrible ex-wife Janan maybe
00:17:37| she makes a phone call and the Bluetooth is still on and it's her boyfriend
00:17:40| Hector and you hear every dirty detail anyway back to the hurricane I'm really
00:17:47| sorry that's okay no I really only know that it's a large storming yeah the same
00:17:54| thing I am tired of taking my brother Oh these fuzzy caterpillars man oh that's
00:18:01| what makes your money make it money hmm yeah so so it hit that Yucatan Peninsula
00:18:09| and then you know I see these things all the time and they always like sputter
00:18:14| out or they miss but this one I'm legitimately like worried about because
00:18:17| people around me are panicking like you would think we talked about doomsday
00:18:21| preppers the last episode a little bit and the hurricane is like pretty far
00:18:26| away but it's gonna flood everything and people are already like stealing like
00:18:31| all the water is gone like there's no stores that have water really could you
00:18:35| go to your local like CVS type store and not on work I got the last one and it
00:18:40| was at like noon today Wow I was like what the heck is going when when's
00:18:46| landfalls post happened in about 12 hours I think Oh word okay so you we're
00:18:53| gonna find out real so this is the last podcast huh Wow yeah that's my record I
00:19:00| please bury me and leave this or cremate me and throw me in the ocean
00:19:06| throw me into the hurricane actually that would be if you could find a
00:19:10| tornado actually that would be great you you personally make I will try but this
00:19:15| is the thing I think it'd be incredible to actually have you found dead just
00:19:23| rush to the crematorium like I'm talking screaming 80 miles an hour two wheels I
00:19:29| pull out I know it's illegal I don't have to sick that's I don't have any
00:19:34| will and testimony I will pay this guy ten thousand dollars to just cremate you
00:19:39| right now this is very important she does it Helen how long that takes but he
00:19:45| hurries it up maybe like four hours two hours what do you think I'm thinking he
00:19:51| has a business on the side and he gives you this special coin to do it like
00:19:55| that's like got to be an assassin something like a game like it's like a
00:19:59| secret point only a few people have your lot here you in person let's say you
00:20:05| could I'm trying to do timeline here two hours to cremate over the body
00:20:10| yeah I know I did a second fluid so it's gonna take a while I mean five hours
00:20:17| you're only molecules Nick we're worried about you yeah with your day it's like
00:20:24| well here this is the best let's say I can get it done in four hours I paid
00:20:28| this guy under the table he's hidin your destiny that whatever it takes I get
00:20:33| back in the car with your ashes and drive towards the hurricane can we drive
00:20:38| faster than hurricanes move yeah a team of hurricanes no hurricanes move slowly
00:20:43| sometimes when they're 15 Mon our land yeah I catch it dude the one that killed
00:20:48| you I could catch the exact and throw it back in and say I don't think so he's
00:20:53| back and what if you do like what if you put it in your will like only because I
00:20:57| didn't put it back five ever killed me well that would be a rush job what if
00:21:03| your own body killed you what would you think you had like a stroke or like a
00:21:08| heart attack I know what I would do I would totally turn you into a like Anna
00:21:12| ruborous Aruba ruse the snake that's eating its own tail
00:21:17| that'll teach that when I'm a little actually wouldn't it I agree I think
00:21:27| that I think the pop major vol you go down a little bit but that's okay I
00:21:31| think you're back up I hope so folks and hope so mm-hmm so
00:21:39| yeah I'll see you on Monday if I'm still alive it might have flooded and I'm
00:21:42| gonna lost electricity in that timeframe all my power would go out it might have
00:21:48| to you know try to find something to do without electronics what would you do
00:21:54| easy guitar an acoustic I do have an acoustic and I do have books I could
00:22:01| talk to my wife guitar solve all your problems
00:22:06| yeah you did become a master like that one guy in Australia you could play the
00:22:11| not to guitar but it was a piano like that's all he had to do it was like farm
00:22:16| or play the piano and the guy was a master took off that's Chuck Ibaka I
00:22:21| look at mom yeah see like a did you this guy what guy like a boring guy awesome
00:22:27| he's a white guy old farmer type that we don't look like that piano he's yeah
00:22:33| but the it it made the judges weep like they're uh did you check out the in my
00:22:40| youtube history the Nils Frahm peace toilet bowl brushes I toilet bowl
00:22:45| brushes for the brushes many it's called actually no no no um what I will say
00:22:52| about that is I'm not a big I love grandiose classical pieces and I my
00:22:57| brain doesn't work where I'm like that was beautiful and all this stuff like I
00:23:00| don't I'm like pseudo fancy I'm not really fancy I don't really weep and to
00:23:05| you know I mean I'm not I don't feel ya know pieces that often don't get
00:23:08| goosebumps or anything not really not usually thank you for the goosebumps
00:23:13| goosebumps and ocean for goosebumps no but this guy Neal's prom toilet bowl
00:23:20| brush the first result was actually a live one he did in London I believe when
00:23:25| I watch it he uses a piano some kind of organ and that
00:23:29| third piano organ type hybrid harmon something it's like 11 minutes long and
00:23:36| it's it's literally one of the more beautiful things I've ever heard in my
00:23:39| life and I don't usually like classical pieces but it's super emotional and
00:23:43| super it's almost like he's not playing piano he's playing a percussion like he
00:23:48| hits the keys in different volumes and he every note is I can't tell if it's
00:23:55| all laid out or it's halfway just his emotions just his fingers are moving
00:23:59| with like his spirit and his energy and by the end like you really get swept up
00:24:04| and it it sounds a little bit like if the planets and the solar system were
00:24:09| just dust when the star first was born and then they eventually formed the
00:24:14| accretion disk and it's like when the solar system formed that's what it
00:24:17| sounds like except the most beautiful thing in the world and while you're
00:24:22| hearing it happened and you can see this guy he starts sweating and he's like
00:24:26| slamming he's he's going over here and he's playing three different things at
00:24:29| once it you literally look at him and you say that's really cool because
00:24:34| that's what human genius looks like like it's it's cool to actually be able to
00:24:39| see genius happening in front of you hmm I mean that's the only way I can
00:24:43| describe it and again I'm not a big classical music guy if someone watches
00:24:47| it as like he's no Tchaikovsky I wasn't you're sure he's no Tchaikovsky or
00:24:52| whoever but what he does is friggin beautiful amazing and I guess it's just
00:25:00| cool seeing the human mind reach a potential I'll never reach I could never
00:25:05| do what he does it's like he's connected to it in such a
00:25:07| way that makes it part of him right and he's moving so fast that I think if I
00:25:13| were to do it it would just be hectic motion that I could do that fast but I
00:25:17| think he literally is thinking ahead and purposely pressing all these Keys at
00:25:22| different notes and different like like some notes he presses harder during when
00:25:28| he's pressing softer and it's just you gotta listen to it but it's like if he
00:25:32| does everything intentional which I think he does because I think he does
00:25:35| this on all live performances he's pretty genius I just I don't know
00:25:41| I don't know what that's worth like I'm driven to talk about this a lot I don't
00:25:47| know why it's very touching you love it yeah yeah exactly that's a good point
00:25:51| yeah but what is genius worth like he can make millions sure but I'm trying to
00:25:58| wagenius against the average human life do you think his genius is worth more
00:26:03| than someone's life and I would almost say yes then we're like like little
00:26:09| drastic I know well it's just his genius is
00:26:13| drastic its drastic so I was thinking there's like budget there could be like
00:26:18| idiot savants or geniuses out there that have really mundane things like you're a
00:26:22| genius with spreadsheets like I'll do we talked about this you're the best at
00:26:26| spreadsheets you make the world's greatest spreadsheet but no and that was
00:26:31| it yeah cuz no one cares like spreadsheet a part of your brain that
00:26:33| just oh but it looked like a world's best grass cutter to get on the Museu
00:26:40| devious cuz he cuts at like perfect angles he never doubles back cut he
00:26:44| never game buzzing like brain spots no never
00:26:47| dude he's eating his blades and everything no he doesn't even he does it
00:26:52| was three plates but a curved cut he can flex hmm his neighbor just thinks he's
00:26:59| named hold up yeah so a by the dark secret though well not I call it a dark
00:27:06| secret cuz I was very like eonni oh dude live at the Acropolis yes that's
00:27:12| one of the really good see it's amazing because he uh he doesn't like you don't
00:27:16| notice his live until the end like he's that good that it sounds like a studio
00:27:21| recording until the very slowly super guy loves Yanni but he just does piano
00:27:27| right mm-hmm so all the other instrument people he has especially at the
00:27:32| Acropolis are all just studio guys who he knows or like hires or how's that
00:27:37| work or they his friends or like I only hear like strings maybe in the
00:27:40| background a little bit know the Acropolis one has a bass because there's
00:27:44| a sick bass solo in a song a Yanni song look this up why look up Neil's praana
00:27:51| rollin Yanni until the rain the rain oh that is a real song as well
00:28:00| anyway he uh there's a violin solo and a bass solo
00:28:03| yeah basil was a slap big solo any Yanni song and you're like what then there's a
00:28:09| Croix Yali standing still that's badass that's like dude that stuff's cool when
00:28:17| I knock my own headphone out Andrew yeah I'm not gonna talk okay there you go all
00:28:22| right thanks I agree okay there's something awesome about it that I just
00:28:27| can't I can't put in words genius we can call genius is one else cuz I these
00:28:32| jeans yes he has awful or great hair I really don't actually know this is hair
00:28:39| awful or great no it's a fine line isn't there it's like bad hair but it's really
00:28:46| good bad hair I guess when you're really trying really hard like it need the end
00:28:51| product is uncontrollable was just that big like main he has flowing behind him
00:28:59| but he's like Jionni Greek he has to be it feels he owns a diner near me
00:29:04| actually what that's it that's a racist joke against Greek
00:29:10| people did they usually own full blown restaurants they're like diners that are
00:29:17| our restaurants like 24-hour restaurants I have this Greek place near me that
00:29:20| makes like really great food it's it's in a strip mall like most of the places
00:29:24| around here but it's like a full-blown meal like you can get like a steak with
00:29:28| like delicious lemon potatoes and like a salad Landon
00:29:31| Tatum's is that a thing it's a thing and their record I'll buy it I'll buy it
00:29:35| I'll give it a shot so like that so that's way it's a waste
00:29:40| more and more than a few steps above a diner okay I'll give you I'll give you
00:29:44| that or it's just a really good diner he'll how long is it open
00:29:48| I don't it's near work so I don't know let's call I didn't call them right now
00:29:58| on the podcast sir you open at night of course I am
00:30:05| I mean I'm a diner restaurant speciality some lemon potato sir yes I do
00:30:12| why yes just drive up to the back drive up the back well folks we did have a big
00:30:23| topic yes called a celebrity challenge and we I don't we haven't thought about
00:30:34| this honestly no but hold on but I do have one right I was thinking about a
00:30:39| couple actually I actually don't do you want me to do as
00:30:43| well I can take this one I think I got it you think okay I'm gonna save these
00:30:47| for later see that's why oh there's a really song
00:30:52| that hits home to all our hearts Celine nuts like Jesus or Justin oh my heart
00:31:02| will bear her I will always love you oh okay
00:31:05| the Bible at the beautiful song I want to know who can sing it better
00:31:10| John Cena WWE Hillary Clinton ale that lets take money back no one will ever
00:31:24| mmm she's gonna know little anything she's gonna get in majority vote but
00:31:30| still lose oh that's some trumped-up trouble egg anomalies and so she will
00:31:44| never sing it but I want you guys to vote 51% and then John Cena yeah yeah
00:31:52| John's in it with the way it's gonna go man he would do it like you wouldn't hit
00:31:58| any of the notes but he'd try way harder than her I think you would I think you
00:32:04| would definitely own it but he would not hit any notes I mean he
00:32:07| would sound really bad but he's like his persona would really flow in that one
00:32:11| yeah do it I'm gonna forget about mine I swear my celebrity channels you like to
00:32:17| whisper to me and then not let the audience hear would you like to write it
00:32:20| down because I can go on my life it has to do with someone that's like really
00:32:24| usable for sliver challenges like I feel like feel like the rock would do would
00:32:29| do this he's too big now you should've got it like literally one year ago when
00:32:33| he was like on his ascent to doing everything that's ever been done now
00:32:37| he's just whoo here's a quick question who's the best action fighter in a movie
00:32:45| this this only came up because you said the rock and I feel like he's a movie
00:32:48| with a rock I could be wrong there's art there aren't there many people that are
00:32:51| muscly and there are no sports makers anymore
00:32:54| isn't that funny it does change there's no band Dan Swartz and there's like all
00:32:59| this guy's used to just kick ass and you know it snap people's necks and all that
00:33:02| ya know there's haven't even remember true yeah there's a little there's no no
00:33:09| really there's 100 Tony Jaa it was he who hit
00:33:15| the Crouching Tiger no I don't he um I don't know what popular movie I have
00:33:22| ever seen the protector he's like yeah he's like Asian yes I actually don't
00:33:27| remember his exact nationality either way Umbach is like his movie he
00:33:36| came out in a I don't think that was very Americanized but then he came out
00:33:39| in the protector which is like the exact same movie but done more American and he
00:33:44| saves a baby elephant and there's a scene where he he's really good Muay
00:33:49| Thai is what he does which is more elbows and knees striking people because
00:33:53| they're the Harvick annuity mutters those yeah that's it's genius right he
00:33:57| uses your own energy and then a lot of knees and elbows like to your face coin
00:34:00| head and like neck and stop it's like he does all of them stop he's like super
00:34:05| he's a badass but he's a probably like four or five over a lot in the movie the
00:34:11| protector I'm like he's gotta do more cry he's gotta do more cry kick more
00:34:16| dude's ass he's gotta like frickin just flip
00:34:19| well there's a scene where they kill his pet elephant I don't care my spoiler
00:34:24| lists with the world I hope I do it's like his pet and like he loves it and
00:34:29| he's chasing after it and if he sees the skeleton covered in like all these glass
00:34:33| ribbons and everything because that's what they they wanted for the ivory and
00:34:36| everything in the decoration he's crying in the room and I'm like because it's
00:34:41| poorly acted and everything then uh all these guys and I think they're black
00:34:45| suits if they represent bad guys they start coming into the room and he's so
00:34:50| mad and so crying that he just goes and there's a scene where I swear it's
00:34:54| either eighty ninety or a hundred dudes he snapped something every single the
00:35:00| like yes and it's it's over-the-top like it's hilarious because one comes in and
00:35:05| he just pops this and pops this and then he pulls a third move and like you hear
00:35:09| a crack and it's like it's a studio crack but it's like his armpit cracks
00:35:12| and then the next guy he lays on the ground next guy like two guys come at
00:35:16| him at once he's hitting two guys at once he does
00:35:18| this he does a flip lands on their crotch and just Yanks a leg and you hear
00:35:21| a crack and then you hear a crack and he's cracking the dudes neck and the
00:35:24| funniest thing is he I think he beats the hell out of a dude and you hear a
00:35:28| crack you're like oh you got him and he's like kneeling over his face he just
00:35:32| twists his knees and cracks his nose and him and another one I'm pretty sure he's
00:35:37| standing over his crotch after he kills kills him Wayne knocked him out and he
00:35:41| just says one more move and you hear his crotch make the crack but he doesn't he
00:35:47| does to like 70 guys so the point where after 12 you're like this is a lot and
00:35:52| then after 30 you're like are they still doing this like a Kill Bill kind of
00:35:57| right right it's over-the-top comedy but it's really funny I'm recommending a lot
00:36:01| of stuff to the pot yeah you do definitely ours people are gonna be just
00:36:05| all over the place not know any of the Stratton new neurons mm-hmm androids
00:36:12| babies rap some new morons out there folks but that's what the superhero
00:36:18| genre well superhero is different but the
00:36:21| super strong man mr. genre what do you know about the Marvel stuff now people
00:36:27| complain because it's so green screen like you don't you're not fighting
00:36:30| anything you're actually in a tzer's and like your you
00:36:33| know any mean mm-hmm so it's not the same as it was I guess yeah I was gonna
00:36:36| talk about actors that are like they're not built anymore there's like a Ryan
00:36:41| Reynolds or uh yeah galaxy um we sound like idiots
00:36:47| yeah yeah we do definitely do Jesus looking at him look into this picture I
00:36:53| did my Britt it's not a name his name was Jim we have
00:37:01| to move on does will look like we can do this ten minutes it's a blanket on this
00:37:04| name I think we might watch I think we should later do you think we should
00:37:08| figure this out I think we should all right he's the guy yes he is
00:37:13| good cuz he's way not in shape in that show but no it's a little more cut he's
00:37:19| also in dress tie world yes he is he he caresses the Raptors yeah he was married
00:37:26| to that blonde girl who was also an actress
00:37:29| really yeah I didn't know this they're so sweet to jim Pratt Pratt Chris Pratt
00:37:35| Chris Pratt like that Chris Pratt only took us a minute 19 seconds we know who
00:37:44| you are now we know who you are so every come to our zone mmm-hmm but there's I
00:37:54| mean after you like that genre I kind of like scrunched down to a generic white
00:37:59| guy which is weird because it's like I could I could get a little buff and then
00:38:03| play like his character to not that's a saint I'm buff but yeah right well I
00:38:08| think also moving Manhattan yeah exactly camera cuts and like the way they depict
00:38:14| these guys and Photoshop and everything works together
00:38:17| did you like him yeah oh it's all about angles and everything mmm-hmm I was
00:38:26| gonna go to my next point which is a segment but I don't want to oh my take
00:38:29| anything away free no no I think I'm I was gonna there's one more guy but I'm
00:38:34| not gonna remember who he is because it's a faint memory now it's fading
00:38:38| Liam Neeson well yeah he's kind of the same sort of thing he's not like
00:38:44| or he's like almost like it's like your neighbor's dad he's like water it is
00:38:50| stuff like all serious he's like try not to get your weeds on my weeds you see
00:38:55| like a dandelion and then I get like just like tilts down and then a just
00:38:59| like he gets he gets down on all fours I have a certain set of skills I will find
00:39:04| your root and destroy you I wish I could do a voice I really would for the
00:39:10| podcast but I can't hmm if you could they'll be great then I have no voices
00:39:16| just my own speech and that's an awful voice yeah I've been doing a pod please
00:39:28| grant me with a better voice please tomorrow
00:39:31| I'll stop doing the podcast if I I'll start doing your voice if he really does
00:39:37| oh I won't need you anymore Nick oh it's just my voice being reflected back at me
00:39:43| yeah damn it and then you start copy me and I would if you had my exact voice
00:39:48| you start saying everything I said I think my mind would explode I think
00:39:52| you'd go insane right because I wouldn't I would no it's not an echo but my brain
00:39:57| would just perceive it as an echo hmm like what the hell what the hell stop
00:40:03| doing that stop doing that you're an idiot you're an idiot that's I hate you
00:40:09| dad that's not like the time I uh I was having a conversation with somebody and
00:40:16| they they said something like proof is in the pudding and they told me to do
00:40:20| something like I was I was wrong on this one fact I their pudding something about
00:40:26| pudding I don't know but I hung up with them stop talking with them and then I I
00:40:32| picked the phone call somebody else and then I didn't even have the same
00:40:35| conversation with that person but they told me the same thing like they they
00:40:39| literally like copied the same phrase even though they're not related and even
00:40:43| though I didn't even bring it up so an agent what do you think like yeah
00:40:48| they're they're running the same subroutine yeah yeah yeah something's
00:40:52| going on here hmm I think that broke my mind for about
00:40:55| you know a couple I had to think about it like am I like I
00:41:00| must be wrong on this one topic because they both said it in the same way but
00:41:04| you would have give some kind of signifier for them to both answer that
00:41:08| way especially then not being like knowing each other that's odd
00:41:11| that's when my distrust for the world just new level just kept rising start
00:41:16| buying more and more guns more more weapons stockpiling strange stuff trying
00:41:21| to buy a house that was sold out did you buy like six copies of Quran - you're
00:41:26| into that now I like to throw it at the people who are trying to bomb me do you
00:41:31| think they would stop if you're like I am fought like they would not think us
00:41:35| they think it's bad yeah well here's something about here's the thing about
00:41:41| super fanatical religious fanatical z' folks the people who are aware they're
00:41:47| fanatic but they go to the next level of fanaticism right like the Bombers and
00:41:52| like even on super hardcore Christian you can get it any religion but I think
00:41:56| they're to the point where they know they're not even believing their
00:41:59| religion anymore like there's subconsciously where
00:42:02| they're almost using it as their vessel for whatever the hell they want to do
00:42:05| hmm they're pretty supposed to something
00:42:08| that is right they want to do something and they're just saying it's the
00:42:11| religion like they're so far gone that like the that's why you can never argue
00:42:15| that religion with them because they don't care about the religious aspect
00:42:19| they actually either like yeah contradictions in the Koran they're like
00:42:22| don't actually care about the Koran I just want to bomb people or I don't
00:42:26| actually care about the Bible I wanted molest kids like whatever the deal is I
00:42:30| know but yeah but what I'm getting at is they they're no longer a religious
00:42:34| figure they're just doing their own thing and they're using religion as an
00:42:39| excuse yeah yeah a lot of people hide behind some sort of greater scheme of
00:42:43| good but it right think that yeah oh just makes it easier for them in do
00:42:47| whatever they want to do age do you think you discover that because I feel
00:42:51| like everyone in like high school that went with me was like man religion is
00:42:56| actually bad you know what I don't like the adults Harold
00:43:01| there's a group or something but I feel now I knew already you give people I
00:43:06| know well I'm saying what age it's like thirteen fifteen
00:43:09| see even when I was probably you know and no well maybe yeah 10 or 11 like I
00:43:16| still got ejected like people trying to tell me how I should think like you
00:43:20| should never tell somebody how to think you should just present material to them
00:43:23| and say decide on your own like there's there's things that are good things that
00:43:28| are bad what about a circular serial killer yeah I don't know that they feel
00:43:34| I feel like I think they might have talked about thinking though I'm
00:43:38| thinking I'm thinking I thought they rewired their brain a
00:43:42| little bit you've heard that they rewired their brains and your frigerator
00:43:47| holds all these organs have any tokens left for the crematorium he's leaving
00:43:56| with them and I'm getting hungrier every day from oh no so what like they always
00:44:04| fascinate me serial killers people who do a really bizarre crazy things because
00:44:09| I don't Lee different brain than you there's like a section on fixation sure
00:44:12| there's nothing killing people logical like I don't we I think we
00:44:16| talked about this on a previous podcast I don't I'd like to follow logic steps
00:44:19| in another person's mind even the religious fanatic thinks they're doing
00:44:23| good thinks this is the only way it works thinks this is the only way thinks
00:44:27| they're the good guy boom boom boom boom that's why they're
00:44:30| doing X I have to blur oh go ahead so when I finished a finished criminal show
00:44:37| finally oh what I've seen 19 of 30 let's say that I forgot how many are 80 of
00:44:45| them so maybe nineteen of eighty then I've probably seen 32 of eight okay did
00:44:52| you hear that there's one about homeless people and one of the homeless people
00:44:56| kills another one oh no I know I feel like I saw the butcher and the head yeah
00:45:01| wait Philadelphia yeah actually I did um Philadelphia local yeah I'd like to
00:45:08| take full credit for the murder apprehension and the guy who visited
00:45:11| sure sure so the guy let me see if I can summarize this one up okay so there's a
00:45:16| soccer player that traveled around I got a job in Philadelphia who likes to
00:45:21| help homeless people and what interesting yeah but God better you know
00:45:26| he didn't kill anybody apparently yes he just pinned it on a
00:45:29| homeless guy but uh Oh red red that was his name right yeah so he meets red and
00:45:34| his girlfriend who are both homeless and she seems like she doesn't like the
00:45:40| soccer player and red sticks up for him and Red's got like a really nice like
00:45:43| boastful English savvy voice ex-professor I think he described a nice
00:45:49| like it used to be a professor like but homeless but you know yep yep so he
00:45:53| trusts this red guy and then the girlfriend ends up dead
00:45:57| she's turns out soon had Department yeah she's like murdered knowingly awful
00:46:02| waiver her guys are like hanging him from a tree or something and then you
00:46:05| know yeah that's and she's a hoarder and the police are worthless because I guess
00:46:10| the oh it's also it's possible to investigate these things yeah it's like
00:46:14| who lived here maybe his girlfriend maybe some of the
00:46:17| other homeless people no unsure who's ELISA and no one knows who goes in who
00:46:22| has a cage there's no like 80 people no one has a record
00:46:25| it is tough don't get me wrong please can do better but they it's it's almost
00:46:30| like that's tough yeah it's it's impossible but they let
00:46:34| this this little lives matter blue lives matter black lives matter black lives
00:46:38| matter so always matter covered all the grounds I want everyone to like this
00:46:43| fight it all colors matter we got everyone measured please can't figure
00:46:55| this out it's almost impossible at this soccer player guy like figure it all out
00:46:59| for him and it turns out that she had an aunt or relatives or somebody that died
00:47:04| and had sixty something thousand dollars in a safe that came to her mmm
00:47:11| and they found this homeless guy red he was carrying around in his cart travel
00:47:20| it and like you you're walking around with seventy thousand dollars for the I
00:47:23| was gonna put it at home hey hey he did yeah that was
00:47:30| but it's yeah I mean I guess you can't do anything with it cuz I'm gonna be
00:47:34| like you know rags to riches well like when to homeless people start dating do
00:47:39| they say do you want to go to your place or mine and they they pull the card
00:47:44| around around both of them they each have their own sleeve so they just went
00:47:51| down homeless may be great it's like we want to buy your podcast for seven
00:48:00| hundred and eighty million dollars but oh we feel like you're not a really good
00:48:04| candidate for homeless be like had it all sitting in the car
00:48:09| sorry guys yeah I did read a story about how you're supposed to set up a podcast
00:48:15| exactly like this right now huh yeah you're supposed to not do what you love
00:48:19| don't enjoy it at all and so one of the bullets and I was like yeah I guess it's
00:48:25| treated like a business all the way you have too much fun be slamming don't
00:48:29| enjoy your doing it don't drink beer laughing you know yeah
00:48:33| don't live your life like you're a corporate shill see you yeah you're that
00:48:40| we don't like shills we don't like happiness here go show on yourself yeah
00:48:45| so yeah don't enjoy what you do and then like Nick over the other topic what are
00:48:52| the crap now forget wop again so much beer how long it takes it I'll be
00:48:58| remember oh crap I thought porno up me so that way
00:49:03| so another thing was that you have to target audiences with a lot of money
00:49:06| essentially there's like people buying houses they're worth so much more well
00:49:11| listen that's I don't think we should target anyone because I don't think so
00:49:15| either I don't think it matters do you think people who are targeted and then
00:49:22| find something stick with it or you think they just are targeted for
00:49:25| something else than wanting something else yeah I mean they don't bind their
00:49:29| own stuff do they I don't know if they intend to plus I think people change
00:49:34| they grow you know eventually people will be our target audience they already
00:49:39| are I think he already is um here I always had this
00:49:46| argument with my ex-girlfriend she works at an ad agency and she was always late
00:49:51| well this is what commercials gonna hear hear hear hear and I I assigned the
00:49:54| slots and everything and I only like commercials or dumb as hell they don't
00:49:59| work on me because I'm not a nerd and she's like what commercials actually
00:50:04| work more than you think Baba and I'd be like I don't care for celebrities using
00:50:08| the greatest hand cream in the world I'm not gonna use it
00:50:10| and immediately after are saying that I'd much like a commercial for a
00:50:13| toothbrush but it was like scientific and I could see the waves coming up I
00:50:16| was like that's the kind of toothbrush I was like your celebrity crap is BS
00:50:22| wasn't a celebrity using a toothbrush or just a normal person no not at all it
00:50:26| was just like it was like it was like slow-mo and then she like their bones
00:50:29| and it's like this toothbrush uses eight point four times more force I'd be like
00:50:33| whoa I think I think I appealed with scientific commercials like they get me
00:50:45| like it's all sudden a commercial is like we're selling dog shampoo like this
00:50:49| is the dumbest chorus whatever and it zooms in real small and it's like shows
00:50:52| mites on a dog's back and so on but it's like this kills 97.4% unless the my dad
00:50:58| long my hair and then it shows like some weird chemical come over them in slow
00:51:03| mode it's like kills ninety 7.4 I'm like that's the best commercial ever
00:51:08| we need that shampoo you know I would agree with you I I do fall for my
00:51:14| scientific right they they're more appealing right it's like it's like
00:51:18| that's cool I Simon - I simultaneously think that the rest of the audience just
00:51:22| kind of fades away though like the people who don't want science at all
00:51:26| they're just like well that's probably how we are with the celebrities like if
00:51:30| if Khloe Kardashian's using like the newest hair product I'm like I don't
00:51:36| even I'm not even seeing the commercial and like looking through it I'm like but
00:51:41| really someone might be like that's awesome she's my favorite my hair will
00:51:45| look exactly like hers I'm also thinking about the celebrities that like get
00:51:50| caught out in the open by the paparazzi they're wearing
00:51:53| designer fashion stuff my favorite is the who is it paying it's it's Ben
00:51:59| Affleck like celebrities have a thing where they always catch him eating
00:52:03| crappy foods near a dumpster and like he has a beer guy like what do you pictures
00:52:09| have you respect him even more yeah he's like he's like sneaking into
00:52:13| his car and trying to smoke a cigarette and he looks ugly and he's like you know
00:52:18| and someone catches the picture of him or like he's like taking out the trash
00:52:21| but he's frowning and he has that beer got again and it's like anyway
00:52:26| I look up for the folks at home folks folks bad Ben Affleck pictures they're
00:52:34| really good they're really good he's like an unhappy dad and I think that's
00:52:39| cool cuz he's like a millionaire he makes movies does whatever the hell he
00:52:41| wants but at the same time he's a dad he he has like a little bit of a gut now
00:52:48| and he like aids his life and I think that's awesome
00:52:50| I can relate it was only relatable to have a guy when he shows I mean me I
00:52:56| mean I can't I can't figure out why but um another segment of the podcast thing
00:53:03| was you do bi-weekly because we're by here the UI by us like that yes is the
00:53:14| the Dan segment the other Dan oh should come in for a full event I don't even I
00:53:21| don't even need him to come in the huge I just want to talk about him
00:53:24| hey talk about a friend here and indeed they can talking about him it's like
00:53:34| everyone's give them this advice on this girlfriend and everything else so you
00:53:38| know it's never gonna work it's too many people know is it so happen say you're
00:53:47| in a relationship right okay let's just say yeah I know that's crazy talk what
00:53:54| would someone else have to say to get you out of it I almost feel like it's
00:53:58| impossible for someone else to tell you to get out of a relationship
00:54:00| realistically if someone told me that she got an STD from some other guy
00:54:07| do it that's not an opinion that's like actual that's a new fact introduced like
00:54:13| how do you find out how do you know its effect you'd be like can you will take
00:54:17| this blows up how about it I know how they could prove it I'm so watch your
00:54:22| blood it's just like no like a hundred pictures like and each one zooms in
00:54:26| closer and closer and she's with someone and and like we get so close we can see
00:54:29| her vajayjay and there's a bomb slide that's like whoa well that's a hundred
00:54:34| pictures is I don't know what to say you covered from here all the way to there
00:54:39| you're right so I think that's how you can prove it right I feel like she would
00:54:45| deny it and say hey we actually accidentally touched bomb parts of her
00:54:49| be pumped yeah it looked like you're in our bedroom babe yeah he was helping me
00:54:56| fix something but you know that's photoshopped it that can't be but the
00:55:01| stain is still here all good no we're in Panera Bread and I'm like that goes on
00:55:08| there right it's quite a nice establishment nothing like that could
00:55:17| happen at Panera Bread you get half a sandwich in a soup for like 595 yeah
00:55:23| open floor plan there's nothing you can hide open they say your first name when
00:55:31| you order your food there's no way there's no way I feel like you could
00:55:37| really get away with anything you wanted to as long as you were quick about it
00:55:40| which if I were to have a sextant bionaire play to be real quick are you
00:55:48| crying you're turned on by bread or something or soup or that you were the
00:55:53| word just do a quick piece while writing subjects okay next topic Greece Rome
00:56:05| Rome yes ah so hold on I'm gonna do an outline here real quick we actually want
00:56:11| to do a little bit history with the podcast or for the viewers at home
00:56:14| oh it sound like a good idea right yeah we're trying to new topic here we're
00:56:17| just right we're trying to get back to old more than just a
00:56:21| stuff like that yeah I don't know if you want to put in the comments you don't
00:56:24| like this maybe you do like this you wanted to do more facts and stuff
00:56:29| Greece came first Rome came second I also got Greece was the Spartans not
00:56:36| Rome and they both did wine olive oil so I'm done you got anything else that Wow
00:56:45| okay I'm gonna use this as fact this is fact source no I have I have more than
00:56:55| that I was just boiling it down for the folks at home
00:56:57| did you like to add today I would like to add that tomatoes are American and
00:57:02| not Italian entirely yes they were found in America you dare do it better than we
00:57:09| do which is sad not really nothing beats a Jersey tomato like an
00:57:14| ugly Jersey tomato what kind of meals are you making I'm telling you ugly
00:57:20| Jersey tomatoes are really good they're like to go the ugliest fruit is the
00:57:24| tastiest not always because this could relate to sex you don't relate it to
00:57:31| someone you know your true had been with her while her stuff down there is not
00:57:37| pretty but it's also not the best probably no lordy no but there there is
00:57:48| an old tale uh I believe it's a fact there was a he was like fifteen years
00:57:53| old and he he's dating a girl he's trying to get real serious with or even
00:57:58| stuff on the internet he's all his friends are telling them to go for it go
00:58:02| for 1990s yeah yes okay so to you oh no no not at all trust me
00:58:10| because of this one key element his friends are tunnel this is a way to
00:58:15| get the girl this is a way to get the girl so finally asks an older guy the
00:58:18| janitor at school will creepy but whatever hold on janitor says tell you
00:58:25| what kiss her where it smells funny
00:58:31| holy smokes anyway keep getting this car picks up
00:58:36| this girlfriend drives her to New Jersey and kisses her
00:58:39| right on the lips [Laughter]
00:58:45| triple bang brawler Jersey viewers I just burned you and hostage hey it
00:58:53| smells funny New Jersey Joe it was brought to you by
00:58:58| the UMP Anders just letting everyone know oh man that was it going I liked it
00:59:04| you liked the build-up I knew where you're going I just let you go anyway
00:59:24| it's like a anymore Rome or is that is that it for history see if I can keep it
00:59:30| straight keep it straight cuz I I'm almost done with the Robins sure did
00:59:34| let's get into that so they have one of the best histories ever like the
00:59:39| starting of a place like what like fill down trick
00:59:43| how did Philadelphia start what's what's the capital the United State yeah but
00:59:49| that's not how it started that's about what became it's like almost wit started
00:59:54| if you like Ben Franklin like sailed off ship & lamboy year and was like boom
00:59:59| William Penn homie Oh pan was like boom we're gonna put city here it's not like
01:00:05| Romulus and Remus sucked from a teat of a she-wolf and they were they were born
01:00:10| of two gods and they said we're gonna do it
01:00:13| this is the place we're gonna do it in I thought they were gonna do it like two
01:00:17| men but that's that's Roman too isn't it that when I started I think it is
01:00:21| actually I'm not gonna deny history it's probably written somewhere
01:00:26| I want it brace history you kidding me I want to get footage but that's one of
01:00:31| the best best mythology's really for a city you repeat that I didn't from the
01:00:36| teat of a she-wolf yeah they were there were
01:00:38| released into the wild essentially because they're from God's and toss
01:00:43| tossed into the wild there's a teat here there's have you've never seen the
01:00:47| statue of like the there's like a golden she-wolf with these like Oh tea asses
01:00:52| yeah there's like there's honorable good picture these on a Super Mario right
01:00:56| yeah exactly and uh they're little baby humans that are just living off the teat
01:01:04| of the she-wolf Romulus and Remus and that's Rome and that's Rome holy crap is
01:01:11| it because their names like they combine their names that was the closest thing
01:01:14| they got right that does sound that maybe yeah are ya man ro M equals ro ma
01:01:27| sure sure I like it let's put that in the history
01:01:31| books and play myself the unpay endures a person discover Rome mm-hmm
01:01:38| we created it whatever she will she-wolf like what mythology would you want other
01:01:46| than I want someone bored of like lightning who's like I was thinking the
01:01:51| same thing actually really lightning the Colosseum Terminator kind of was formed
01:01:56| as one's body I think terminator should be America's
01:02:00| mythology have you ever seen I'm sure you have it you have a child
01:02:05| so you've seen Moana yeah like you're the body of a god that falls and makes
01:02:11| like a mountain I think that's pretty sweet too
01:02:14| do you think that was um what's her name Rihanna pretty sure it looked like
01:02:18| exactly every other the singer I think she might be in there but that's not the
01:02:23| main the main character is uh Alessia and I'm saying the lean through their
01:02:30| modeling out oh yeah yeah it's like it's like you're like serious I wonder if
01:02:36| they purposely do that they try to like look at like who's ever whoever is
01:02:40| popular and probably a little bit and like model but like not enough or that
01:02:44| they can claim any kind of copyright or anything they're like just like oh
01:02:46| that's a coincidence they took a picture just started like scribbling over
01:02:52| and then the computer just decided that this is what a cartoon version would
01:02:56| look like if you could prove that could you prove copyright I mean we could
01:03:04| probably prove copyright on ourselves somewhere right generic white guy
01:03:11| copyright cheap bandana white shirt gotcha like oh my god we coined it I'd
01:03:26| like to say I'd revolt from King white guy no I'm saying you with me I'm all
01:03:32| about the people we've had the people start stabbing yourself just the way
01:03:38| part what I'm gonna fall into something here what part of you is not my soul
01:03:46| dude I play bass like like I'm just the unstable part I mean in in reality I
01:03:55| spend most of my days in an all-black neighborhoods that counts for something
01:03:59| right you're absorbing the Satan's well like they're all my friends like all my
01:04:05| barkis is in my babies at the t-h-e I don't know what that word meant so I it
01:04:09| glossed over it okay we'll come back to that when we talk about Scientology
01:04:12| later oh I didn't watch the video on site oh yeah I do that cuz it's
01:04:17| ridiculous I saw a bar video on Scientology that was what's her name the
01:04:21| candy Queens girl if she in it I listen that - she's not in it and.and
01:04:26| okay so I saw about what I didn't see this woman okay
01:04:29| there's something I wanna say about that but I'll save it for the it's just
01:04:36| explode although just like you're gonna start reaching maximum levels of
01:04:41| excitement and just burst hmm I don't like my room as I'm so excited about a
01:04:49| row listen this is a historical podcast so far yeah all that history so folks so
01:04:56| these these two brothers they form a city right at like a like a I guess a
01:05:02| like a river delta near the sea anyway folks that's all we have
01:05:06| time is historical we didn't historical here I apologize it is getting late
01:05:12| let's what what is our time line looking like cuz I love our fans I can do all
01:05:22| night but currently at 1:05 I don't want to give them so much that they think
01:05:29| that they own us mmm we have to come back to that I'm gonna have to redo the
01:05:35| Romulus arena do rubble do redo Rome I don't care I'll get better notes oh I'll
01:05:40| get the double plays I'm gonna bet this about to smash you with these notes um
01:05:51| yeah papa Q anchor sound bar does this baby
01:05:58| baby hits all the right spots you listen to your favorite pornography you can
01:06:03| turn on dirty talk on porn MD and it's like the third result play it during a
01:06:08| podcast your partner won't even know it's incredible I don't even like 34
01:06:15| disfigured it would jar the conversation in one hand the girl whispering the
01:06:21| dirty talk so it's kind of her fault I expected like somebody say cuz I missed
01:06:26| that entirely she was like and she was like grabbing this sausage and I was
01:06:33| like okay okay and I'm just like you were talking about the things I'm trying
01:06:37| to pay attention to you and try and get some dirty tongs so I could laugh about
01:06:40| the podcast and she kept saying oh I was like come on get some real dirt in here
01:06:50| [Laughter] I was expecting anyway turns out
01:07:02| category dirty talk is not for me hmm not my cup of tea so there there there
01:07:08| are some many topics that I have I have lined up if you can if you withstand the
01:07:13| minute extra ten maybe five minutes like that
01:07:16| kid me I'm a mini topic first so on the topic of doomsday bunkers
01:07:22| I actually was starting I started to search for what doomsday bunkers I could
01:07:26| buy and they're really not that expensive
01:07:29| what's a doomsday bunkers one that is like thick walls yeah
01:07:32| thick walls it's under the earth it's a silo of some sort or was in the show
01:07:37| dude you can want to show you look I know I haven't watched the show yet I'm
01:07:40| just saying there there are the ones you should worry about like someone's like
01:07:43| my walls are thrilled oh nothing just acidic we're most people too and and
01:07:47| it's like who cares the guy down the street just bought like a missile silo
01:07:51| he fitted it with like super titanium everywhere and he has like his own water
01:07:55| supply that would last 19 years for 17 people and it's like that guy's a boss
01:08:00| in a psycho you just made all the Doomsday Preppers -1 re up what they're
01:08:05| doing what if our only subscribers are Doomsday Preppers and they're like mmm
01:08:11| oh let's open explore inside their doomsday
01:08:15| bunker cuz that that would be pretty go would be very sweet so they're actually
01:08:20| fairly cheap the ones that are not retrofitted and beautiful look up dude
01:08:26| up your price range so I'm saying okay you'll better a little more than
01:08:33| range you're looking it no no my end was make sense and then he said hippos they
01:08:40| sweat red that's true hey sweetie they sweat clear but it's like a material
01:08:48| that changes color so it goes clear to red to brown is it because of their skin
01:08:54| Tennant it's because they spend a lot of time outside in the Sun I'll text them
01:08:59| from the UV rays interesting much like in Eclipse you need protection dollars
01:09:05| right yep oh by the way I haven't gone blind yet that thing like 90 million
01:09:11| times and it wasn't staring at it but I did look at it a bunch microseconds yeah
01:09:18| I like seconds like for two no no for every time or two every time I
01:09:24| was like well you could read out that rapper there's a rapper that did the
01:09:31| same thing and he was bragging about it and then he went blind he canceled all
01:09:35| his Tour tour dates I didn't see this I didn't know he's a rapper
01:09:38| it's awesome so he was like we looking at the Sun we don't give a damn and then
01:09:43| all said he's like I regret to inform everyone I am candidates 8 4 7 9 7 13
01:09:49| use proper English so you know serious you know his agent
01:09:54| corrected it up for me yeah he just uses his stamp cuz he can't sign his own name
01:09:59| I mean that's a thing I actually want to see them the show that looks like it
01:10:04| would be awful about the dude who runs from there he's a rapper and he gets it
01:10:08| because like it's it he does as a joke but he gets the job yeah he'd be totally
01:10:12| one of those cats yeah yeah I watch that it looks like gonna be bad but at the
01:10:18| same time like hilarious on a oh really did that like how I would get into that
01:10:26| I wouldn't be like this is great comedy this needs to be for the masses but it
01:10:30| would be like I love us you know yeah I don't know if I have time for that but
01:10:35| if I did have time I'd watch that good point I don't have time for it but a
01:10:39| part of me will try and watch it somewhere see like a street sharks which
01:10:45| in podcast researching the podcast and helping the fans just find me and just
01:10:52| hmm just one grab them all by their hair by
01:10:57| the way I decided I'm growing it out by the way oh wow oh yeah yeah yeah I don't
01:11:02| see that every day that I know you you know you didn't go for a run today and
01:11:09| sweat happens oh stroking it oh by the way all the podcasters up there explain
01:11:20| to the auditory podcaster yeah I will tell the podcast something fun that
01:11:27| happened to me today here's my spark of the day it just occurred to me
01:11:31| mm-hmm with you while I have an older dog he's
01:11:35| half Maltese and poodle very entitled animal very aggressive very barks very
01:11:43| needy very growls and snaps at people very where's waiting for him to die well
01:11:50| the bundle of joy I get home everything's chilling I say
01:11:55| hey buddy go for a walk the hardest thing in the world is getting your son
01:12:01| the dog everyone situated when he got home you
01:12:04| know just everybody come on let's gather Collective lets you walk the dog it
01:12:10| makes it seem like it's his idea he walks a dog I'm out there I have to hold
01:12:15| both they get wrapped up around the trash cans I'm saying myself I'll kill
01:12:19| you dog I'll kill you just for getting wrapped in some trash cans and then I
01:12:22| say stepped over the line it's just a dog
01:12:25| it's okay walk back in he just peed usually poops nobody go get back in
01:12:32| about to give him this tree and I hear my son he's over here he goes uh-oh Otis
01:12:37| poop buddy it's probably just their side of the pie linear TV was three hard
01:12:48| poops hmm he waited till the next of it no no no this is already there
01:12:54| this is sometime during the day oh I just saw it otherwise I would have not
01:12:59| walked him as nicely as I did and then over on this side were three soft poops
01:13:04| melted into the floor I was like it's awesome
01:13:10| and he was like myself like is dinky I was like yeah don't touch it buddy I got
01:13:16| it Lysol Clorox I did the whole cuz I can't
01:13:23| I can't do soft poops has your son ever touched it no oh my god I would you know
01:13:30| what's one of the greatest ideas and Simon's are the simultaneously one of
01:13:33| the worst is we have these automatic vacuum cleaners little like Bob banks
01:13:38| yeah poop or puke did you try it no it
01:13:42| automatically goes by so during the day it runs when
01:13:45| work so if the dogs puke or poop it doesn't it spreads and everywhere
01:13:51| spreads it everywhere see where the robot went out during the day that's
01:13:55| nice honey it always goes from the kitchen back to
01:14:01| the bedrooms now in our Brits yep need that dog
01:14:09| yeah we do he's dead so the last bowl I want to talk about is uh I mentioned
01:14:14| that react was copyrighted it was attempted to be copyrighted by the fine
01:14:19| brothers the world fine brothers suck it yeah well they failed and then today
01:14:25| against them do you want to give them the challenge um for media power no I
01:14:29| know and that's how you win that's all right no no no no fans is how you win we
01:14:36| will crush those fools but anyway moving on yeah but a judge ruled today that
01:14:43| another podcast which are actually was YouTube heroes I guess but they not
01:14:49| really serious but yeah the youtubers they they challenged they actually use
01:14:54| somebody and criticize them and use their video and then that guy sued them
01:14:59| but he lost the judge ruled that it was fair use because they were criticizing
01:15:03| and just educate educational purposes and whatnot fair use see so react to
01:15:08| still oh yeah I can say we reacted to something and that's okay watching the
01:15:14| grandparents who react to GTA we can't make a show of people reacting yeah well
01:15:18| you might be able to interesting now it's fair use yeah
01:15:24| people reacting to bad podcasts yeah check this old people this is something
01:15:33| cool I am a Roman scholar I've been waiting to see this episode for 19 hours
01:15:38| let me see what facts you had fools well see next yeah we're gonna bring the heat
01:15:49| next episode we're gonna bring the cold we're gonna bring the heat cuz that's
01:15:54| what summer and winter was in Rome ha the summer cold in the winter I look
01:16:01| this up same thanks for listening tonight yeah question mark
01:16:11| we enjoyed telling you everything about ourselves
01:16:14| we're in titling this episode Rome and Greece we'll get to them eventually
01:16:21| we'll get there folks in the meantime folks stay classy no that's the thing
01:16:29| yeah go check us out on our social or what's date one fans a frosty good on
01:16:34| Panthers calm check out our other social media hierarchies like BL caterers at
01:16:39| Twitter mmhmm yeah enter whatever else we have us get just get enters get
01:16:44| Tweety get get horny I don't know how that helps us unless we have a female
01:16:52| entourage whatever up whoever as long as they're signing up get get shorty that's
01:17:04| that's a movie movie yeah got milk got shorty is that a movie got
01:17:10| shorty I have no idea you're reaching here I feel like you're reaching and I
01:17:19| I'm gonna slap that hand right down and say no more time alright daddy did this
01:17:27| podcast folks stay safe at home yeah we love you I'm Dan um Nick
01:17:40| we are the under [Music]
01:17:53| said what
00:00:10| or bad what does some maggots we can't do this
00:00:12| episode but we're not gonna pander that's for sure folks
00:00:16| yeah but I'm Dan Nick over here not together we are young paddlers yep okay
00:00:30| good really good it folks it's gonna sell tickets gum it up folks Elm it up
00:00:39| at home hmm never take a nice nice breath nice
00:00:44| relaxing inhale we're gonna turn this into a meditation podcast for a minute
00:00:50| think about all your failures think about everything you've done wrong think
00:00:55| about all the vices interplay think about yeah downward dog
00:00:59| think about yoga pants I was going with the vices but yeah that's a lie
00:01:05| Miami Vice baby mm-hmm I'm saying think about all those bad things in your life
00:01:11| and you're anxious that you might not get something done or you're not doing
00:01:15| something right in your life or someone in your life is sick and just think
00:01:18| about that for a couple minutes dwell on it dwell on it really let it
00:01:23| hit home that's called meditating folks you feel
00:01:26| that yeah that's good welcome to the UM panders folks welcome you you just got
00:01:32| meditated on kotas I like calling folks I just love it gonna be a good episode
00:01:38| tonight books gonna break record for folks in a podcast no man no man I don't
00:01:47| know if I can match your folks no you can't because mine are flowing pretty
00:01:51| natural folks I'm not even kidding looking at some notes here for today's
00:01:55| episode folks you're in for a surprise I think I've met be a world record by
00:02:02| now quarter the rate what what folks per minute
00:02:06| how many can you say and I was looking at uh what we do next yeah I can't
00:02:13| figure out how to navigate our favorite app check it out in the local store
00:02:18| what's called Oh it's called done panderers all over the place um yeah
00:02:26| right our socials I'll do that after oh we can do it before talked with one let
00:02:31| me do it seven times or in a subset we can to every five minutes we just find
00:02:34| anyone there are no rules we are the rules I think under comm is
00:02:40| probably the one we want to lead them to don't find everything to everything
00:02:45| everything that's a lot of everything we will uh-huh
00:02:52| remember folks it may not be suitable for you so if you get frightened or
00:02:58| scared find a safe place listen to this with the lights on if it really offends
00:03:05| you not gonna pander just stop listening now these opinions here in tho are
00:03:11| representative of our employers or us as individuals I'm just spouting someone
00:03:16| else's opinions here mm-hmm yes I'm he's not cryptid it's purely
00:03:20| scripted we're just actors actually uh there's a third party he's he even a
00:03:26| little too much away here he's larger than us it's like we're the corners and
00:03:31| he's the top you may refer to this as a pyramid Wow but he has all of our lines
00:03:36| all of our opinions all the things that might get us in trouble and are bad all
00:03:41| the things that are good right here folks
00:03:43| that's us we're the base yeah and the base is a most important instrument in
00:03:48| music actually I think about that yeah it's really the connection between the
00:03:54| drums and the guitar I mean the guitar would look like an asshole without the
00:03:58| bass and the drums would look ridiculous without the bass you know what's
00:04:05| connecting the two that really need the beat say it's the most important this
00:04:10| would have been a good time to have that one shirt on that says drums and bass
00:04:13| sure what a cut just kidding folks we're down pampers good night
00:04:23| oh no it's thinking that gonna stop and this is what you have to deal with
00:04:30| that's this is being a parent folks yeah I it's funny I'm not even legally his
00:04:37| parent we found this kid in the park he looked
00:04:40| lost we just took him put him in the van and we're raising him crazy yeah it was
00:04:46| in another state so I haven't heard anything yet but I'm sure across state
00:04:49| lines does that make it more bad I think there's a statute they were like they
00:04:54| were like he's a Duncan a kid whoa he's abducted a kid across state lines over
00:05:01| line how many full-grown adult women do you think you could plow through if they
00:05:06| realized you're stealing a child is this a sexual question they were stealing my
00:05:16| time no like I'm a child and they're in the park and they're in the way none
00:05:21| because I don't need the kid that bad I it really kids are awful if you had if
00:05:27| someone had my kid and I had to plow through women to get to my tile it's
00:05:31| good Oh like seven dozen whatever the front
00:05:35| end would give out you know anything just you'd be assessing yourself on all
00:05:41| these women uh we worth it and there's no way reflects my opinion of women I
00:05:47| actually love women more than men they could be people too but I'm just
00:05:50| trying to you know give you a size range they are welcome to the unders we think
00:05:57| women are people and I think that actual I hope it is duped our whole life is
00:06:05| this but yeah there are also animals yeah well that's part of it to you in
00:06:12| claws nails you'd have all sorts of stuff that you would not expect I think
00:06:17| a cool thing to do hold on I told her this in the shower today so that's a lie
00:06:22| I didn't take a shower thing I don't know when I thought of this but I
00:06:24| thought of this today say you got a group of
00:06:28| you gotta get everyone in or put one and everyone's gotta go to the one you gotta
00:06:32| be like yo CJ you ever sex with an animal and goods no man everyone's gotta
00:06:40| go women are animals you know and that's
00:06:42| not what you mean everyone's got looking like you're disgusting nothing make him
00:06:47| feeling reallocate yeah I think would be awesome uh that's my brandy humor um
00:06:53| everyone likes that brandy humor it's a hmm no one likes that brand humor
00:07:00| that's that there are certain people who do but go potty
00:07:05| wait what are they stickers huh are you calling yourself a sick girl I guess oh
00:07:13| no it's happening the podcast is falling apart one of us
00:07:20| is a sicko mm-hmm it's out there it's me folks I have to research for the record
00:07:24| I don't like sick things I like humor about sick things there's a distinction
00:07:28| right I should yeah cuz you draw on comedy
00:07:33| from hopefully things that will never yes sir Oh dope mm-hmm well this does
00:07:42| lead us to our next segment yeah I yeah it's a new one okay smirk
00:07:47| smirk or smile tell you what that sex with animals to had me smile literally
00:07:55| not a lot of you at home that's fine anything make you smirk horse month you
00:08:04| know I did walk by two people today that didn't even acknowledge me after I said
00:08:07| hey how's it going where they coworkers are strangers or eyerly their co-workers
00:08:12| so I knew these people oh that's rude were they talking they
00:08:17| were not talking that one was smoking cigarette and the other one was
00:08:22| I don't even know I mean the one was inhaling the cool cool fumes of nicotine
00:08:27| and probably menthol so they were probably really getting jacked off on
00:08:32| the stuff so I can understand how they right they they probably didn't even see
00:08:36| they were a whole nother world you know about smoking cigarettes is real cool
00:08:45| everyone knows what I've said is not Hitler - our opinions that's not my
00:08:52| opinion folks I think so many cigarettes actually pretty gross but I can agree
00:08:58| with your coworker right but your coworker who was smoking was probably
00:09:01| busy enjoying their smoke or whatever you do you handle it or enjoy it or do
00:09:07| yeah I don't know if you get a high from smoking I'm not really under percent on
00:09:11| that you don't get you don't have to eat what I'm found out and you get a little
00:09:16| bit of a buzz a little bit of energy I think really you get energy from it so
00:09:21| like Toby so it's like slamming a quick energy drink almost it's gross for your
00:09:26| breath and body yeah sure and by sure I'm not gonna stand up I'm not going for
00:09:37| that but it made me think like whenever that happens in there I don't get a
00:09:43| response did you think they're purposely ignoring me for some reason or they
00:09:47| didn't hear me because my volume level is too low and it's like did I whisper
00:09:51| that now you think like I can't practice my whisper start hating yourself you
00:09:56| know you're like you blame yourself yeah yourself blame her
00:09:59| you start muttering I know you haven't heard me hey you heard me you son of a
00:10:09| bitch you're screaming at them just to prove a point
00:10:14| i'm not a faiiure you coward and I didn't see my wife sent me a text she's
00:10:21| leaving me this morning uh what were you saying nothing nothing
00:10:25| I think it's were me that's what makes Bluetooth really confusing nowadays I
00:10:30| mean that's kind of an old technology what kind of disease do it
00:10:36| go into Bluetooth a little bit because I did like to bring our sponsor of the
00:10:41| episode into the next section home and it actually has to do with Bluetooth
00:10:47| technology man I wish we had Bluetooth headphones because then we just Boop
00:10:51| right in and we'd be good and then you wouldn't even know hold on how would you
00:10:55| hook your su PC oh I'm being serious I think they have a little receiver like a
00:11:02| transmitter and receiver this is what I was talking about last episode now is my
00:11:06| almost walk confused for some reason I don't understand what you know anyway
00:11:13| folks at home like to take a moment to say I was surfing on a little website we
00:11:18| all know it they got delivery trucks around the United States fingers are
00:11:22| doing the type of type of trying to find something need something for the beach
00:11:26| it's not just for me anymore it's for the family are you getting a giant beach
00:11:31| towel well nice like him across the anchor
00:11:37| sound last mm mm-hmm little Bluetooth speaker here looks a
00:11:42| little right nice tax a hell of a punch let's call the sandal core I like the
00:11:49| sound let that not be a reflection on how poorly I advertise item have you
00:11:54| listened to you I have um Bluetooth capabilities up to 60 feet IP 47 or
00:12:03| whatever the number is everyone house is your first one butter proof Bluetooth
00:12:06| speak my first real one I got one when and my son was born but it was like it
00:12:10| kind of like a 15 dollar piece of junk okay this isn't too expensive thirty
00:12:15| dollars and try to connect it right now I think I did and it does look kind of
00:12:21| hefty in your hand there it does it's not big but it packs a nice punch as the
00:12:27| Russkies would say let me tell you that folks and because we share a YouTube
00:12:32| page but I love it a little bit this bad boy
00:12:43| you can crank it it's 60 feet it's waterproof
00:12:47| oh it holds a charge for 24 friggin our spokes huh anyway you can pick yours up
00:12:54| for 30 bucks it's good as hell yeah that's from the others ah see it was the
00:13:09| song of the summer I like to make someone straight bummer those are the
00:13:13| puffs for everyone on YouTube watching this right now I discovered the song
00:13:19| back in May I started playing it don't love with it get proof I do when we did
00:13:26| my logs my friend um maybe late May but uh cyle we went on vacation for a week
00:13:33| in late June played it everyday kept telling people this is our Jam you know
00:13:38| I was forcing it because I was mm-hmm I'm an outlier remember people receiving
00:13:42| it was I half the crew like uh this is stupid and then by day five and six and
00:13:47| seven everyone else was requesting it and people were getting in on it and I
00:13:51| was like there comes on you hey Nick can you play that in your two feet away
00:13:54| nearly sure I can just look it up on the YouTube I got right there but um they
00:14:01| started playing it everyone refers to me when they play it like it was like cool
00:14:04| it was like our little secret and then I recently heard it in like a
00:14:07| Ford commercial I heard it in another commercial and it's playing on like the
00:14:11| pop like q102 around here so I'm kind of bummed that it became popular does that
00:14:17| ever happen to you like where something yours became mainstream and you're like
00:14:21| hey but then you can't take fake credit for it it I don't think big credit for
00:14:27| it no one says stop me from that but like you knew that was gonna be the song
00:14:31| of the summer like what like there's some song summer
00:14:34| I love so many damn songs and they never be home hits hmm I'm not talking about
00:14:41| songs you love talk about as long as you know that will be
00:14:43| super popular even though you hate them like beer I loves and sure like one song
00:14:49| of the summer like Shakira hips don't lie that was a song of a summer in
00:14:55| college it was a hundred percent agree but I mean you didn't discover that and
00:15:01| then on sudden like a month later everyone was like whoa did everyone find
00:15:04| out that's all Dan likes Shakira hips and
00:15:06| she was so he was popular in high school right so uh keep going uncle have you
00:15:14| ever have you ever discovered something that was yours and then became really
00:15:21| popular like did you like um Star Wars before it became like Hunt summers
00:15:25| mainstream yeah but no that was way before me I was like babies you're right
00:15:32| you're right but it was nerdy for a while now it's like everyone does it
00:15:36| feel like Zoolander had like a poor reception in the beginning and then it
00:15:41| became like super pop oh yeah makes sense I don't know but I mmm far as
00:15:47| music I don't have to think about it this is one for a future podcast okay
00:15:53| yeah you don't have to answer it right now yeah would you like to sponsor
00:15:56| anything go ahead um I'm gonna save my sponsorship for the next round I think
00:16:02| you did a good job right there okay I like that
00:16:06| yeah good job good job gang we're here at the the UM panders where help you
00:16:13| yeah and let's move on to a fresh topic like the hurricane is spinning in the
00:16:20| Gulf right now that's about to hit but town near me actually don't know
00:16:24| anything about that really it doesn't been showing and flashing on the news no
00:16:29| oh yes what's it called Harvey Harvey Dent is it two-faced the front wall it's
00:16:37| gonna get well it's gonna insert itself into the United States pull out and then
00:16:42| spin and go right and drop about I ran it once and like the entire coast
00:16:51| of Texas and it's gonna be like a major hurricane
00:16:55| by the time hits which I discounted entirely because I it hit the you oh
00:17:01| crap oh I love that word Yucatan hit the Yucatan Peninsula
00:17:04| kynesha yeah oh you breaking up you break it up on me I'm sorry I was uh
00:17:09| trying to ruin the podcast I was straight
00:17:15| the thing is I was waiting for you to be like what is that and like stop the
00:17:19| podcast but you kept getting more excited about Yucatan and I was like you
00:17:22| could ship it shit he was getting really into it so I was like I better abort so
00:17:26| folks don't play practical jokes hook your Bluetooth speaker up and then put
00:17:31| pornography on your phone hmm or your horrible horrible ex-wife Janan maybe
00:17:37| she makes a phone call and the Bluetooth is still on and it's her boyfriend
00:17:40| Hector and you hear every dirty detail anyway back to the hurricane I'm really
00:17:47| sorry that's okay no I really only know that it's a large storming yeah the same
00:17:54| thing I am tired of taking my brother Oh these fuzzy caterpillars man oh that's
00:18:01| what makes your money make it money hmm yeah so so it hit that Yucatan Peninsula
00:18:09| and then you know I see these things all the time and they always like sputter
00:18:14| out or they miss but this one I'm legitimately like worried about because
00:18:17| people around me are panicking like you would think we talked about doomsday
00:18:21| preppers the last episode a little bit and the hurricane is like pretty far
00:18:26| away but it's gonna flood everything and people are already like stealing like
00:18:31| all the water is gone like there's no stores that have water really could you
00:18:35| go to your local like CVS type store and not on work I got the last one and it
00:18:40| was at like noon today Wow I was like what the heck is going when when's
00:18:46| landfalls post happened in about 12 hours I think Oh word okay so you we're
00:18:53| gonna find out real so this is the last podcast huh Wow yeah that's my record I
00:19:00| please bury me and leave this or cremate me and throw me in the ocean
00:19:06| throw me into the hurricane actually that would be if you could find a
00:19:10| tornado actually that would be great you you personally make I will try but this
00:19:15| is the thing I think it'd be incredible to actually have you found dead just
00:19:23| rush to the crematorium like I'm talking screaming 80 miles an hour two wheels I
00:19:29| pull out I know it's illegal I don't have to sick that's I don't have any
00:19:34| will and testimony I will pay this guy ten thousand dollars to just cremate you
00:19:39| right now this is very important she does it Helen how long that takes but he
00:19:45| hurries it up maybe like four hours two hours what do you think I'm thinking he
00:19:51| has a business on the side and he gives you this special coin to do it like
00:19:55| that's like got to be an assassin something like a game like it's like a
00:19:59| secret point only a few people have your lot here you in person let's say you
00:20:05| could I'm trying to do timeline here two hours to cremate over the body
00:20:10| yeah I know I did a second fluid so it's gonna take a while I mean five hours
00:20:17| you're only molecules Nick we're worried about you yeah with your day it's like
00:20:24| well here this is the best let's say I can get it done in four hours I paid
00:20:28| this guy under the table he's hidin your destiny that whatever it takes I get
00:20:33| back in the car with your ashes and drive towards the hurricane can we drive
00:20:38| faster than hurricanes move yeah a team of hurricanes no hurricanes move slowly
00:20:43| sometimes when they're 15 Mon our land yeah I catch it dude the one that killed
00:20:48| you I could catch the exact and throw it back in and say I don't think so he's
00:20:53| back and what if you do like what if you put it in your will like only because I
00:20:57| didn't put it back five ever killed me well that would be a rush job what if
00:21:03| your own body killed you what would you think you had like a stroke or like a
00:21:08| heart attack I know what I would do I would totally turn you into a like Anna
00:21:12| ruborous Aruba ruse the snake that's eating its own tail
00:21:17| that'll teach that when I'm a little actually wouldn't it I agree I think
00:21:27| that I think the pop major vol you go down a little bit but that's okay I
00:21:31| think you're back up I hope so folks and hope so mm-hmm so
00:21:39| yeah I'll see you on Monday if I'm still alive it might have flooded and I'm
00:21:42| gonna lost electricity in that timeframe all my power would go out it might have
00:21:48| to you know try to find something to do without electronics what would you do
00:21:54| easy guitar an acoustic I do have an acoustic and I do have books I could
00:22:01| talk to my wife guitar solve all your problems
00:22:06| yeah you did become a master like that one guy in Australia you could play the
00:22:11| not to guitar but it was a piano like that's all he had to do it was like farm
00:22:16| or play the piano and the guy was a master took off that's Chuck Ibaka I
00:22:21| look at mom yeah see like a did you this guy what guy like a boring guy awesome
00:22:27| he's a white guy old farmer type that we don't look like that piano he's yeah
00:22:33| but the it it made the judges weep like they're uh did you check out the in my
00:22:40| youtube history the Nils Frahm peace toilet bowl brushes I toilet bowl
00:22:45| brushes for the brushes many it's called actually no no no um what I will say
00:22:52| about that is I'm not a big I love grandiose classical pieces and I my
00:22:57| brain doesn't work where I'm like that was beautiful and all this stuff like I
00:23:00| don't I'm like pseudo fancy I'm not really fancy I don't really weep and to
00:23:05| you know I mean I'm not I don't feel ya know pieces that often don't get
00:23:08| goosebumps or anything not really not usually thank you for the goosebumps
00:23:13| goosebumps and ocean for goosebumps no but this guy Neal's prom toilet bowl
00:23:20| brush the first result was actually a live one he did in London I believe when
00:23:25| I watch it he uses a piano some kind of organ and that
00:23:29| third piano organ type hybrid harmon something it's like 11 minutes long and
00:23:36| it's it's literally one of the more beautiful things I've ever heard in my
00:23:39| life and I don't usually like classical pieces but it's super emotional and
00:23:43| super it's almost like he's not playing piano he's playing a percussion like he
00:23:48| hits the keys in different volumes and he every note is I can't tell if it's
00:23:55| all laid out or it's halfway just his emotions just his fingers are moving
00:23:59| with like his spirit and his energy and by the end like you really get swept up
00:24:04| and it it sounds a little bit like if the planets and the solar system were
00:24:09| just dust when the star first was born and then they eventually formed the
00:24:14| accretion disk and it's like when the solar system formed that's what it
00:24:17| sounds like except the most beautiful thing in the world and while you're
00:24:22| hearing it happened and you can see this guy he starts sweating and he's like
00:24:26| slamming he's he's going over here and he's playing three different things at
00:24:29| once it you literally look at him and you say that's really cool because
00:24:34| that's what human genius looks like like it's it's cool to actually be able to
00:24:39| see genius happening in front of you hmm I mean that's the only way I can
00:24:43| describe it and again I'm not a big classical music guy if someone watches
00:24:47| it as like he's no Tchaikovsky I wasn't you're sure he's no Tchaikovsky or
00:24:52| whoever but what he does is friggin beautiful amazing and I guess it's just
00:25:00| cool seeing the human mind reach a potential I'll never reach I could never
00:25:05| do what he does it's like he's connected to it in such a
00:25:07| way that makes it part of him right and he's moving so fast that I think if I
00:25:13| were to do it it would just be hectic motion that I could do that fast but I
00:25:17| think he literally is thinking ahead and purposely pressing all these Keys at
00:25:22| different notes and different like like some notes he presses harder during when
00:25:28| he's pressing softer and it's just you gotta listen to it but it's like if he
00:25:32| does everything intentional which I think he does because I think he does
00:25:35| this on all live performances he's pretty genius I just I don't know
00:25:41| I don't know what that's worth like I'm driven to talk about this a lot I don't
00:25:47| know why it's very touching you love it yeah yeah exactly that's a good point
00:25:51| yeah but what is genius worth like he can make millions sure but I'm trying to
00:25:58| wagenius against the average human life do you think his genius is worth more
00:26:03| than someone's life and I would almost say yes then we're like like little
00:26:09| drastic I know well it's just his genius is
00:26:13| drastic its drastic so I was thinking there's like budget there could be like
00:26:18| idiot savants or geniuses out there that have really mundane things like you're a
00:26:22| genius with spreadsheets like I'll do we talked about this you're the best at
00:26:26| spreadsheets you make the world's greatest spreadsheet but no and that was
00:26:31| it yeah cuz no one cares like spreadsheet a part of your brain that
00:26:33| just oh but it looked like a world's best grass cutter to get on the Museu
00:26:40| devious cuz he cuts at like perfect angles he never doubles back cut he
00:26:44| never game buzzing like brain spots no never
00:26:47| dude he's eating his blades and everything no he doesn't even he does it
00:26:52| was three plates but a curved cut he can flex hmm his neighbor just thinks he's
00:26:59| named hold up yeah so a by the dark secret though well not I call it a dark
00:27:06| secret cuz I was very like eonni oh dude live at the Acropolis yes that's
00:27:12| one of the really good see it's amazing because he uh he doesn't like you don't
00:27:16| notice his live until the end like he's that good that it sounds like a studio
00:27:21| recording until the very slowly super guy loves Yanni but he just does piano
00:27:27| right mm-hmm so all the other instrument people he has especially at the
00:27:32| Acropolis are all just studio guys who he knows or like hires or how's that
00:27:37| work or they his friends or like I only hear like strings maybe in the
00:27:40| background a little bit know the Acropolis one has a bass because there's
00:27:44| a sick bass solo in a song a Yanni song look this up why look up Neil's praana
00:27:51| rollin Yanni until the rain the rain oh that is a real song as well
00:28:00| anyway he uh there's a violin solo and a bass solo
00:28:03| yeah basil was a slap big solo any Yanni song and you're like what then there's a
00:28:09| Croix Yali standing still that's badass that's like dude that stuff's cool when
00:28:17| I knock my own headphone out Andrew yeah I'm not gonna talk okay there you go all
00:28:22| right thanks I agree okay there's something awesome about it that I just
00:28:27| can't I can't put in words genius we can call genius is one else cuz I these
00:28:32| jeans yes he has awful or great hair I really don't actually know this is hair
00:28:39| awful or great no it's a fine line isn't there it's like bad hair but it's really
00:28:46| good bad hair I guess when you're really trying really hard like it need the end
00:28:51| product is uncontrollable was just that big like main he has flowing behind him
00:28:59| but he's like Jionni Greek he has to be it feels he owns a diner near me
00:29:04| actually what that's it that's a racist joke against Greek
00:29:10| people did they usually own full blown restaurants they're like diners that are
00:29:17| our restaurants like 24-hour restaurants I have this Greek place near me that
00:29:20| makes like really great food it's it's in a strip mall like most of the places
00:29:24| around here but it's like a full-blown meal like you can get like a steak with
00:29:28| like delicious lemon potatoes and like a salad Landon
00:29:31| Tatum's is that a thing it's a thing and their record I'll buy it I'll buy it
00:29:35| I'll give it a shot so like that so that's way it's a waste
00:29:40| more and more than a few steps above a diner okay I'll give you I'll give you
00:29:44| that or it's just a really good diner he'll how long is it open
00:29:48| I don't it's near work so I don't know let's call I didn't call them right now
00:29:58| on the podcast sir you open at night of course I am
00:30:05| I mean I'm a diner restaurant speciality some lemon potato sir yes I do
00:30:12| why yes just drive up to the back drive up the back well folks we did have a big
00:30:23| topic yes called a celebrity challenge and we I don't we haven't thought about
00:30:34| this honestly no but hold on but I do have one right I was thinking about a
00:30:39| couple actually I actually don't do you want me to do as
00:30:43| well I can take this one I think I got it you think okay I'm gonna save these
00:30:47| for later see that's why oh there's a really song
00:30:52| that hits home to all our hearts Celine nuts like Jesus or Justin oh my heart
00:31:02| will bear her I will always love you oh okay
00:31:05| the Bible at the beautiful song I want to know who can sing it better
00:31:10| John Cena WWE Hillary Clinton ale that lets take money back no one will ever
00:31:24| mmm she's gonna know little anything she's gonna get in majority vote but
00:31:30| still lose oh that's some trumped-up trouble egg anomalies and so she will
00:31:44| never sing it but I want you guys to vote 51% and then John Cena yeah yeah
00:31:52| John's in it with the way it's gonna go man he would do it like you wouldn't hit
00:31:58| any of the notes but he'd try way harder than her I think you would I think you
00:32:04| would definitely own it but he would not hit any notes I mean he
00:32:07| would sound really bad but he's like his persona would really flow in that one
00:32:11| yeah do it I'm gonna forget about mine I swear my celebrity channels you like to
00:32:17| whisper to me and then not let the audience hear would you like to write it
00:32:20| down because I can go on my life it has to do with someone that's like really
00:32:24| usable for sliver challenges like I feel like feel like the rock would do would
00:32:29| do this he's too big now you should've got it like literally one year ago when
00:32:33| he was like on his ascent to doing everything that's ever been done now
00:32:37| he's just whoo here's a quick question who's the best action fighter in a movie
00:32:45| this this only came up because you said the rock and I feel like he's a movie
00:32:48| with a rock I could be wrong there's art there aren't there many people that are
00:32:51| muscly and there are no sports makers anymore
00:32:54| isn't that funny it does change there's no band Dan Swartz and there's like all
00:32:59| this guy's used to just kick ass and you know it snap people's necks and all that
00:33:02| ya know there's haven't even remember true yeah there's a little there's no no
00:33:09| really there's 100 Tony Jaa it was he who hit
00:33:15| the Crouching Tiger no I don't he um I don't know what popular movie I have
00:33:22| ever seen the protector he's like yeah he's like Asian yes I actually don't
00:33:27| remember his exact nationality either way Umbach is like his movie he
00:33:36| came out in a I don't think that was very Americanized but then he came out
00:33:39| in the protector which is like the exact same movie but done more American and he
00:33:44| saves a baby elephant and there's a scene where he he's really good Muay
00:33:49| Thai is what he does which is more elbows and knees striking people because
00:33:53| they're the Harvick annuity mutters those yeah that's it's genius right he
00:33:57| uses your own energy and then a lot of knees and elbows like to your face coin
00:34:00| head and like neck and stop it's like he does all of them stop he's like super
00:34:05| he's a badass but he's a probably like four or five over a lot in the movie the
00:34:11| protector I'm like he's gotta do more cry he's gotta do more cry kick more
00:34:16| dude's ass he's gotta like frickin just flip
00:34:19| well there's a scene where they kill his pet elephant I don't care my spoiler
00:34:24| lists with the world I hope I do it's like his pet and like he loves it and
00:34:29| he's chasing after it and if he sees the skeleton covered in like all these glass
00:34:33| ribbons and everything because that's what they they wanted for the ivory and
00:34:36| everything in the decoration he's crying in the room and I'm like because it's
00:34:41| poorly acted and everything then uh all these guys and I think they're black
00:34:45| suits if they represent bad guys they start coming into the room and he's so
00:34:50| mad and so crying that he just goes and there's a scene where I swear it's
00:34:54| either eighty ninety or a hundred dudes he snapped something every single the
00:35:00| like yes and it's it's over-the-top like it's hilarious because one comes in and
00:35:05| he just pops this and pops this and then he pulls a third move and like you hear
00:35:09| a crack and it's like it's a studio crack but it's like his armpit cracks
00:35:12| and then the next guy he lays on the ground next guy like two guys come at
00:35:16| him at once he's hitting two guys at once he does
00:35:18| this he does a flip lands on their crotch and just Yanks a leg and you hear
00:35:21| a crack and then you hear a crack and he's cracking the dudes neck and the
00:35:24| funniest thing is he I think he beats the hell out of a dude and you hear a
00:35:28| crack you're like oh you got him and he's like kneeling over his face he just
00:35:32| twists his knees and cracks his nose and him and another one I'm pretty sure he's
00:35:37| standing over his crotch after he kills kills him Wayne knocked him out and he
00:35:41| just says one more move and you hear his crotch make the crack but he doesn't he
00:35:47| does to like 70 guys so the point where after 12 you're like this is a lot and
00:35:52| then after 30 you're like are they still doing this like a Kill Bill kind of
00:35:57| right right it's over-the-top comedy but it's really funny I'm recommending a lot
00:36:01| of stuff to the pot yeah you do definitely ours people are gonna be just
00:36:05| all over the place not know any of the Stratton new neurons mm-hmm androids
00:36:12| babies rap some new morons out there folks but that's what the superhero
00:36:18| genre well superhero is different but the
00:36:21| super strong man mr. genre what do you know about the Marvel stuff now people
00:36:27| complain because it's so green screen like you don't you're not fighting
00:36:30| anything you're actually in a tzer's and like your you
00:36:33| know any mean mm-hmm so it's not the same as it was I guess yeah I was gonna
00:36:36| talk about actors that are like they're not built anymore there's like a Ryan
00:36:41| Reynolds or uh yeah galaxy um we sound like idiots
00:36:47| yeah yeah we do definitely do Jesus looking at him look into this picture I
00:36:53| did my Britt it's not a name his name was Jim we have
00:37:01| to move on does will look like we can do this ten minutes it's a blanket on this
00:37:04| name I think we might watch I think we should later do you think we should
00:37:08| figure this out I think we should all right he's the guy yes he is
00:37:13| good cuz he's way not in shape in that show but no it's a little more cut he's
00:37:19| also in dress tie world yes he is he he caresses the Raptors yeah he was married
00:37:26| to that blonde girl who was also an actress
00:37:29| really yeah I didn't know this they're so sweet to jim Pratt Pratt Chris Pratt
00:37:35| Chris Pratt like that Chris Pratt only took us a minute 19 seconds we know who
00:37:44| you are now we know who you are so every come to our zone mmm-hmm but there's I
00:37:54| mean after you like that genre I kind of like scrunched down to a generic white
00:37:59| guy which is weird because it's like I could I could get a little buff and then
00:38:03| play like his character to not that's a saint I'm buff but yeah right well I
00:38:08| think also moving Manhattan yeah exactly camera cuts and like the way they depict
00:38:14| these guys and Photoshop and everything works together
00:38:17| did you like him yeah oh it's all about angles and everything mmm-hmm I was
00:38:26| gonna go to my next point which is a segment but I don't want to oh my take
00:38:29| anything away free no no I think I'm I was gonna there's one more guy but I'm
00:38:34| not gonna remember who he is because it's a faint memory now it's fading
00:38:38| Liam Neeson well yeah he's kind of the same sort of thing he's not like
00:38:44| or he's like almost like it's like your neighbor's dad he's like water it is
00:38:50| stuff like all serious he's like try not to get your weeds on my weeds you see
00:38:55| like a dandelion and then I get like just like tilts down and then a just
00:38:59| like he gets he gets down on all fours I have a certain set of skills I will find
00:39:04| your root and destroy you I wish I could do a voice I really would for the
00:39:10| podcast but I can't hmm if you could they'll be great then I have no voices
00:39:16| just my own speech and that's an awful voice yeah I've been doing a pod please
00:39:28| grant me with a better voice please tomorrow
00:39:31| I'll stop doing the podcast if I I'll start doing your voice if he really does
00:39:37| oh I won't need you anymore Nick oh it's just my voice being reflected back at me
00:39:43| yeah damn it and then you start copy me and I would if you had my exact voice
00:39:48| you start saying everything I said I think my mind would explode I think
00:39:52| you'd go insane right because I wouldn't I would no it's not an echo but my brain
00:39:57| would just perceive it as an echo hmm like what the hell what the hell stop
00:40:03| doing that stop doing that you're an idiot you're an idiot that's I hate you
00:40:09| dad that's not like the time I uh I was having a conversation with somebody and
00:40:16| they they said something like proof is in the pudding and they told me to do
00:40:20| something like I was I was wrong on this one fact I their pudding something about
00:40:26| pudding I don't know but I hung up with them stop talking with them and then I I
00:40:32| picked the phone call somebody else and then I didn't even have the same
00:40:35| conversation with that person but they told me the same thing like they they
00:40:39| literally like copied the same phrase even though they're not related and even
00:40:43| though I didn't even bring it up so an agent what do you think like yeah
00:40:48| they're they're running the same subroutine yeah yeah yeah something's
00:40:52| going on here hmm I think that broke my mind for about
00:40:55| you know a couple I had to think about it like am I like I
00:41:00| must be wrong on this one topic because they both said it in the same way but
00:41:04| you would have give some kind of signifier for them to both answer that
00:41:08| way especially then not being like knowing each other that's odd
00:41:11| that's when my distrust for the world just new level just kept rising start
00:41:16| buying more and more guns more more weapons stockpiling strange stuff trying
00:41:21| to buy a house that was sold out did you buy like six copies of Quran - you're
00:41:26| into that now I like to throw it at the people who are trying to bomb me do you
00:41:31| think they would stop if you're like I am fought like they would not think us
00:41:35| they think it's bad yeah well here's something about here's the thing about
00:41:41| super fanatical religious fanatical z' folks the people who are aware they're
00:41:47| fanatic but they go to the next level of fanaticism right like the Bombers and
00:41:52| like even on super hardcore Christian you can get it any religion but I think
00:41:56| they're to the point where they know they're not even believing their
00:41:59| religion anymore like there's subconsciously where
00:42:02| they're almost using it as their vessel for whatever the hell they want to do
00:42:05| hmm they're pretty supposed to something
00:42:08| that is right they want to do something and they're just saying it's the
00:42:11| religion like they're so far gone that like the that's why you can never argue
00:42:15| that religion with them because they don't care about the religious aspect
00:42:19| they actually either like yeah contradictions in the Koran they're like
00:42:22| don't actually care about the Koran I just want to bomb people or I don't
00:42:26| actually care about the Bible I wanted molest kids like whatever the deal is I
00:42:30| know but yeah but what I'm getting at is they they're no longer a religious
00:42:34| figure they're just doing their own thing and they're using religion as an
00:42:39| excuse yeah yeah a lot of people hide behind some sort of greater scheme of
00:42:43| good but it right think that yeah oh just makes it easier for them in do
00:42:47| whatever they want to do age do you think you discover that because I feel
00:42:51| like everyone in like high school that went with me was like man religion is
00:42:56| actually bad you know what I don't like the adults Harold
00:43:01| there's a group or something but I feel now I knew already you give people I
00:43:06| know well I'm saying what age it's like thirteen fifteen
00:43:09| see even when I was probably you know and no well maybe yeah 10 or 11 like I
00:43:16| still got ejected like people trying to tell me how I should think like you
00:43:20| should never tell somebody how to think you should just present material to them
00:43:23| and say decide on your own like there's there's things that are good things that
00:43:28| are bad what about a circular serial killer yeah I don't know that they feel
00:43:34| I feel like I think they might have talked about thinking though I'm
00:43:38| thinking I'm thinking I thought they rewired their brain a
00:43:42| little bit you've heard that they rewired their brains and your frigerator
00:43:47| holds all these organs have any tokens left for the crematorium he's leaving
00:43:56| with them and I'm getting hungrier every day from oh no so what like they always
00:44:04| fascinate me serial killers people who do a really bizarre crazy things because
00:44:09| I don't Lee different brain than you there's like a section on fixation sure
00:44:12| there's nothing killing people logical like I don't we I think we
00:44:16| talked about this on a previous podcast I don't I'd like to follow logic steps
00:44:19| in another person's mind even the religious fanatic thinks they're doing
00:44:23| good thinks this is the only way it works thinks this is the only way thinks
00:44:27| they're the good guy boom boom boom boom that's why they're
00:44:30| doing X I have to blur oh go ahead so when I finished a finished criminal show
00:44:37| finally oh what I've seen 19 of 30 let's say that I forgot how many are 80 of
00:44:45| them so maybe nineteen of eighty then I've probably seen 32 of eight okay did
00:44:52| you hear that there's one about homeless people and one of the homeless people
00:44:56| kills another one oh no I know I feel like I saw the butcher and the head yeah
00:45:01| wait Philadelphia yeah actually I did um Philadelphia local yeah I'd like to
00:45:08| take full credit for the murder apprehension and the guy who visited
00:45:11| sure sure so the guy let me see if I can summarize this one up okay so there's a
00:45:16| soccer player that traveled around I got a job in Philadelphia who likes to
00:45:21| help homeless people and what interesting yeah but God better you know
00:45:26| he didn't kill anybody apparently yes he just pinned it on a
00:45:29| homeless guy but uh Oh red red that was his name right yeah so he meets red and
00:45:34| his girlfriend who are both homeless and she seems like she doesn't like the
00:45:40| soccer player and red sticks up for him and Red's got like a really nice like
00:45:43| boastful English savvy voice ex-professor I think he described a nice
00:45:49| like it used to be a professor like but homeless but you know yep yep so he
00:45:53| trusts this red guy and then the girlfriend ends up dead
00:45:57| she's turns out soon had Department yeah she's like murdered knowingly awful
00:46:02| waiver her guys are like hanging him from a tree or something and then you
00:46:05| know yeah that's and she's a hoarder and the police are worthless because I guess
00:46:10| the oh it's also it's possible to investigate these things yeah it's like
00:46:14| who lived here maybe his girlfriend maybe some of the
00:46:17| other homeless people no unsure who's ELISA and no one knows who goes in who
00:46:22| has a cage there's no like 80 people no one has a record
00:46:25| it is tough don't get me wrong please can do better but they it's it's almost
00:46:30| like that's tough yeah it's it's impossible but they let
00:46:34| this this little lives matter blue lives matter black lives matter black lives
00:46:38| matter so always matter covered all the grounds I want everyone to like this
00:46:43| fight it all colors matter we got everyone measured please can't figure
00:46:55| this out it's almost impossible at this soccer player guy like figure it all out
00:46:59| for him and it turns out that she had an aunt or relatives or somebody that died
00:47:04| and had sixty something thousand dollars in a safe that came to her mmm
00:47:11| and they found this homeless guy red he was carrying around in his cart travel
00:47:20| it and like you you're walking around with seventy thousand dollars for the I
00:47:23| was gonna put it at home hey hey he did yeah that was
00:47:30| but it's yeah I mean I guess you can't do anything with it cuz I'm gonna be
00:47:34| like you know rags to riches well like when to homeless people start dating do
00:47:39| they say do you want to go to your place or mine and they they pull the card
00:47:44| around around both of them they each have their own sleeve so they just went
00:47:51| down homeless may be great it's like we want to buy your podcast for seven
00:48:00| hundred and eighty million dollars but oh we feel like you're not a really good
00:48:04| candidate for homeless be like had it all sitting in the car
00:48:09| sorry guys yeah I did read a story about how you're supposed to set up a podcast
00:48:15| exactly like this right now huh yeah you're supposed to not do what you love
00:48:19| don't enjoy it at all and so one of the bullets and I was like yeah I guess it's
00:48:25| treated like a business all the way you have too much fun be slamming don't
00:48:29| enjoy your doing it don't drink beer laughing you know yeah
00:48:33| don't live your life like you're a corporate shill see you yeah you're that
00:48:40| we don't like shills we don't like happiness here go show on yourself yeah
00:48:45| so yeah don't enjoy what you do and then like Nick over the other topic what are
00:48:52| the crap now forget wop again so much beer how long it takes it I'll be
00:48:58| remember oh crap I thought porno up me so that way
00:49:03| so another thing was that you have to target audiences with a lot of money
00:49:06| essentially there's like people buying houses they're worth so much more well
00:49:11| listen that's I don't think we should target anyone because I don't think so
00:49:15| either I don't think it matters do you think people who are targeted and then
00:49:22| find something stick with it or you think they just are targeted for
00:49:25| something else than wanting something else yeah I mean they don't bind their
00:49:29| own stuff do they I don't know if they intend to plus I think people change
00:49:34| they grow you know eventually people will be our target audience they already
00:49:39| are I think he already is um here I always had this
00:49:46| argument with my ex-girlfriend she works at an ad agency and she was always late
00:49:51| well this is what commercials gonna hear hear hear hear and I I assigned the
00:49:54| slots and everything and I only like commercials or dumb as hell they don't
00:49:59| work on me because I'm not a nerd and she's like what commercials actually
00:50:04| work more than you think Baba and I'd be like I don't care for celebrities using
00:50:08| the greatest hand cream in the world I'm not gonna use it
00:50:10| and immediately after are saying that I'd much like a commercial for a
00:50:13| toothbrush but it was like scientific and I could see the waves coming up I
00:50:16| was like that's the kind of toothbrush I was like your celebrity crap is BS
00:50:22| wasn't a celebrity using a toothbrush or just a normal person no not at all it
00:50:26| was just like it was like it was like slow-mo and then she like their bones
00:50:29| and it's like this toothbrush uses eight point four times more force I'd be like
00:50:33| whoa I think I think I appealed with scientific commercials like they get me
00:50:45| like it's all sudden a commercial is like we're selling dog shampoo like this
00:50:49| is the dumbest chorus whatever and it zooms in real small and it's like shows
00:50:52| mites on a dog's back and so on but it's like this kills 97.4% unless the my dad
00:50:58| long my hair and then it shows like some weird chemical come over them in slow
00:51:03| mode it's like kills ninety 7.4 I'm like that's the best commercial ever
00:51:08| we need that shampoo you know I would agree with you I I do fall for my
00:51:14| scientific right they they're more appealing right it's like it's like
00:51:18| that's cool I Simon - I simultaneously think that the rest of the audience just
00:51:22| kind of fades away though like the people who don't want science at all
00:51:26| they're just like well that's probably how we are with the celebrities like if
00:51:30| if Khloe Kardashian's using like the newest hair product I'm like I don't
00:51:36| even I'm not even seeing the commercial and like looking through it I'm like but
00:51:41| really someone might be like that's awesome she's my favorite my hair will
00:51:45| look exactly like hers I'm also thinking about the celebrities that like get
00:51:50| caught out in the open by the paparazzi they're wearing
00:51:53| designer fashion stuff my favorite is the who is it paying it's it's Ben
00:51:59| Affleck like celebrities have a thing where they always catch him eating
00:52:03| crappy foods near a dumpster and like he has a beer guy like what do you pictures
00:52:09| have you respect him even more yeah he's like he's like sneaking into
00:52:13| his car and trying to smoke a cigarette and he looks ugly and he's like you know
00:52:18| and someone catches the picture of him or like he's like taking out the trash
00:52:21| but he's frowning and he has that beer got again and it's like anyway
00:52:26| I look up for the folks at home folks folks bad Ben Affleck pictures they're
00:52:34| really good they're really good he's like an unhappy dad and I think that's
00:52:39| cool cuz he's like a millionaire he makes movies does whatever the hell he
00:52:41| wants but at the same time he's a dad he he has like a little bit of a gut now
00:52:48| and he like aids his life and I think that's awesome
00:52:50| I can relate it was only relatable to have a guy when he shows I mean me I
00:52:56| mean I can't I can't figure out why but um another segment of the podcast thing
00:53:03| was you do bi-weekly because we're by here the UI by us like that yes is the
00:53:14| the Dan segment the other Dan oh should come in for a full event I don't even I
00:53:21| don't even need him to come in the huge I just want to talk about him
00:53:24| hey talk about a friend here and indeed they can talking about him it's like
00:53:34| everyone's give them this advice on this girlfriend and everything else so you
00:53:38| know it's never gonna work it's too many people know is it so happen say you're
00:53:47| in a relationship right okay let's just say yeah I know that's crazy talk what
00:53:54| would someone else have to say to get you out of it I almost feel like it's
00:53:58| impossible for someone else to tell you to get out of a relationship
00:54:00| realistically if someone told me that she got an STD from some other guy
00:54:07| do it that's not an opinion that's like actual that's a new fact introduced like
00:54:13| how do you find out how do you know its effect you'd be like can you will take
00:54:17| this blows up how about it I know how they could prove it I'm so watch your
00:54:22| blood it's just like no like a hundred pictures like and each one zooms in
00:54:26| closer and closer and she's with someone and and like we get so close we can see
00:54:29| her vajayjay and there's a bomb slide that's like whoa well that's a hundred
00:54:34| pictures is I don't know what to say you covered from here all the way to there
00:54:39| you're right so I think that's how you can prove it right I feel like she would
00:54:45| deny it and say hey we actually accidentally touched bomb parts of her
00:54:49| be pumped yeah it looked like you're in our bedroom babe yeah he was helping me
00:54:56| fix something but you know that's photoshopped it that can't be but the
00:55:01| stain is still here all good no we're in Panera Bread and I'm like that goes on
00:55:08| there right it's quite a nice establishment nothing like that could
00:55:17| happen at Panera Bread you get half a sandwich in a soup for like 595 yeah
00:55:23| open floor plan there's nothing you can hide open they say your first name when
00:55:31| you order your food there's no way there's no way I feel like you could
00:55:37| really get away with anything you wanted to as long as you were quick about it
00:55:40| which if I were to have a sextant bionaire play to be real quick are you
00:55:48| crying you're turned on by bread or something or soup or that you were the
00:55:53| word just do a quick piece while writing subjects okay next topic Greece Rome
00:56:05| Rome yes ah so hold on I'm gonna do an outline here real quick we actually want
00:56:11| to do a little bit history with the podcast or for the viewers at home
00:56:14| oh it sound like a good idea right yeah we're trying to new topic here we're
00:56:17| just right we're trying to get back to old more than just a
00:56:21| stuff like that yeah I don't know if you want to put in the comments you don't
00:56:24| like this maybe you do like this you wanted to do more facts and stuff
00:56:29| Greece came first Rome came second I also got Greece was the Spartans not
00:56:36| Rome and they both did wine olive oil so I'm done you got anything else that Wow
00:56:45| okay I'm gonna use this as fact this is fact source no I have I have more than
00:56:55| that I was just boiling it down for the folks at home
00:56:57| did you like to add today I would like to add that tomatoes are American and
00:57:02| not Italian entirely yes they were found in America you dare do it better than we
00:57:09| do which is sad not really nothing beats a Jersey tomato like an
00:57:14| ugly Jersey tomato what kind of meals are you making I'm telling you ugly
00:57:20| Jersey tomatoes are really good they're like to go the ugliest fruit is the
00:57:24| tastiest not always because this could relate to sex you don't relate it to
00:57:31| someone you know your true had been with her while her stuff down there is not
00:57:37| pretty but it's also not the best probably no lordy no but there there is
00:57:48| an old tale uh I believe it's a fact there was a he was like fifteen years
00:57:53| old and he he's dating a girl he's trying to get real serious with or even
00:57:58| stuff on the internet he's all his friends are telling them to go for it go
00:58:02| for 1990s yeah yes okay so to you oh no no not at all trust me
00:58:10| because of this one key element his friends are tunnel this is a way to
00:58:15| get the girl this is a way to get the girl so finally asks an older guy the
00:58:18| janitor at school will creepy but whatever hold on janitor says tell you
00:58:25| what kiss her where it smells funny
00:58:31| holy smokes anyway keep getting this car picks up
00:58:36| this girlfriend drives her to New Jersey and kisses her
00:58:39| right on the lips [Laughter]
00:58:45| triple bang brawler Jersey viewers I just burned you and hostage hey it
00:58:53| smells funny New Jersey Joe it was brought to you by
00:58:58| the UMP Anders just letting everyone know oh man that was it going I liked it
00:59:04| you liked the build-up I knew where you're going I just let you go anyway
00:59:24| it's like a anymore Rome or is that is that it for history see if I can keep it
00:59:30| straight keep it straight cuz I I'm almost done with the Robins sure did
00:59:34| let's get into that so they have one of the best histories ever like the
00:59:39| starting of a place like what like fill down trick
00:59:43| how did Philadelphia start what's what's the capital the United State yeah but
00:59:49| that's not how it started that's about what became it's like almost wit started
00:59:54| if you like Ben Franklin like sailed off ship & lamboy year and was like boom
00:59:59| William Penn homie Oh pan was like boom we're gonna put city here it's not like
01:00:05| Romulus and Remus sucked from a teat of a she-wolf and they were they were born
01:00:10| of two gods and they said we're gonna do it
01:00:13| this is the place we're gonna do it in I thought they were gonna do it like two
01:00:17| men but that's that's Roman too isn't it that when I started I think it is
01:00:21| actually I'm not gonna deny history it's probably written somewhere
01:00:26| I want it brace history you kidding me I want to get footage but that's one of
01:00:31| the best best mythology's really for a city you repeat that I didn't from the
01:00:36| teat of a she-wolf yeah they were there were
01:00:38| released into the wild essentially because they're from God's and toss
01:00:43| tossed into the wild there's a teat here there's have you've never seen the
01:00:47| statue of like the there's like a golden she-wolf with these like Oh tea asses
01:00:52| yeah there's like there's honorable good picture these on a Super Mario right
01:00:56| yeah exactly and uh they're little baby humans that are just living off the teat
01:01:04| of the she-wolf Romulus and Remus and that's Rome and that's Rome holy crap is
01:01:11| it because their names like they combine their names that was the closest thing
01:01:14| they got right that does sound that maybe yeah are ya man ro M equals ro ma
01:01:27| sure sure I like it let's put that in the history
01:01:31| books and play myself the unpay endures a person discover Rome mm-hmm
01:01:38| we created it whatever she will she-wolf like what mythology would you want other
01:01:46| than I want someone bored of like lightning who's like I was thinking the
01:01:51| same thing actually really lightning the Colosseum Terminator kind of was formed
01:01:56| as one's body I think terminator should be America's
01:02:00| mythology have you ever seen I'm sure you have it you have a child
01:02:05| so you've seen Moana yeah like you're the body of a god that falls and makes
01:02:11| like a mountain I think that's pretty sweet too
01:02:14| do you think that was um what's her name Rihanna pretty sure it looked like
01:02:18| exactly every other the singer I think she might be in there but that's not the
01:02:23| main the main character is uh Alessia and I'm saying the lean through their
01:02:30| modeling out oh yeah yeah it's like it's like you're like serious I wonder if
01:02:36| they purposely do that they try to like look at like who's ever whoever is
01:02:40| popular and probably a little bit and like model but like not enough or that
01:02:44| they can claim any kind of copyright or anything they're like just like oh
01:02:46| that's a coincidence they took a picture just started like scribbling over
01:02:52| and then the computer just decided that this is what a cartoon version would
01:02:56| look like if you could prove that could you prove copyright I mean we could
01:03:04| probably prove copyright on ourselves somewhere right generic white guy
01:03:11| copyright cheap bandana white shirt gotcha like oh my god we coined it I'd
01:03:26| like to say I'd revolt from King white guy no I'm saying you with me I'm all
01:03:32| about the people we've had the people start stabbing yourself just the way
01:03:38| part what I'm gonna fall into something here what part of you is not my soul
01:03:46| dude I play bass like like I'm just the unstable part I mean in in reality I
01:03:55| spend most of my days in an all-black neighborhoods that counts for something
01:03:59| right you're absorbing the Satan's well like they're all my friends like all my
01:04:05| barkis is in my babies at the t-h-e I don't know what that word meant so I it
01:04:09| glossed over it okay we'll come back to that when we talk about Scientology
01:04:12| later oh I didn't watch the video on site oh yeah I do that cuz it's
01:04:17| ridiculous I saw a bar video on Scientology that was what's her name the
01:04:21| candy Queens girl if she in it I listen that - she's not in it and.and
01:04:26| okay so I saw about what I didn't see this woman okay
01:04:29| there's something I wanna say about that but I'll save it for the it's just
01:04:36| explode although just like you're gonna start reaching maximum levels of
01:04:41| excitement and just burst hmm I don't like my room as I'm so excited about a
01:04:49| row listen this is a historical podcast so far yeah all that history so folks so
01:04:56| these these two brothers they form a city right at like a like a I guess a
01:05:02| like a river delta near the sea anyway folks that's all we have
01:05:06| time is historical we didn't historical here I apologize it is getting late
01:05:12| let's what what is our time line looking like cuz I love our fans I can do all
01:05:22| night but currently at 1:05 I don't want to give them so much that they think
01:05:29| that they own us mmm we have to come back to that I'm gonna have to redo the
01:05:35| Romulus arena do rubble do redo Rome I don't care I'll get better notes oh I'll
01:05:40| get the double plays I'm gonna bet this about to smash you with these notes um
01:05:51| yeah papa Q anchor sound bar does this baby
01:05:58| baby hits all the right spots you listen to your favorite pornography you can
01:06:03| turn on dirty talk on porn MD and it's like the third result play it during a
01:06:08| podcast your partner won't even know it's incredible I don't even like 34
01:06:15| disfigured it would jar the conversation in one hand the girl whispering the
01:06:21| dirty talk so it's kind of her fault I expected like somebody say cuz I missed
01:06:26| that entirely she was like and she was like grabbing this sausage and I was
01:06:33| like okay okay and I'm just like you were talking about the things I'm trying
01:06:37| to pay attention to you and try and get some dirty tongs so I could laugh about
01:06:40| the podcast and she kept saying oh I was like come on get some real dirt in here
01:06:50| [Laughter] I was expecting anyway turns out
01:07:02| category dirty talk is not for me hmm not my cup of tea so there there there
01:07:08| are some many topics that I have I have lined up if you can if you withstand the
01:07:13| minute extra ten maybe five minutes like that
01:07:16| kid me I'm a mini topic first so on the topic of doomsday bunkers
01:07:22| I actually was starting I started to search for what doomsday bunkers I could
01:07:26| buy and they're really not that expensive
01:07:29| what's a doomsday bunkers one that is like thick walls yeah
01:07:32| thick walls it's under the earth it's a silo of some sort or was in the show
01:07:37| dude you can want to show you look I know I haven't watched the show yet I'm
01:07:40| just saying there there are the ones you should worry about like someone's like
01:07:43| my walls are thrilled oh nothing just acidic we're most people too and and
01:07:47| it's like who cares the guy down the street just bought like a missile silo
01:07:51| he fitted it with like super titanium everywhere and he has like his own water
01:07:55| supply that would last 19 years for 17 people and it's like that guy's a boss
01:08:00| in a psycho you just made all the Doomsday Preppers -1 re up what they're
01:08:05| doing what if our only subscribers are Doomsday Preppers and they're like mmm
01:08:11| oh let's open explore inside their doomsday
01:08:15| bunker cuz that that would be pretty go would be very sweet so they're actually
01:08:20| fairly cheap the ones that are not retrofitted and beautiful look up dude
01:08:26| up your price range so I'm saying okay you'll better a little more than
01:08:33| range you're looking it no no my end was make sense and then he said hippos they
01:08:40| sweat red that's true hey sweetie they sweat clear but it's like a material
01:08:48| that changes color so it goes clear to red to brown is it because of their skin
01:08:54| Tennant it's because they spend a lot of time outside in the Sun I'll text them
01:08:59| from the UV rays interesting much like in Eclipse you need protection dollars
01:09:05| right yep oh by the way I haven't gone blind yet that thing like 90 million
01:09:11| times and it wasn't staring at it but I did look at it a bunch microseconds yeah
01:09:18| I like seconds like for two no no for every time or two every time I
01:09:24| was like well you could read out that rapper there's a rapper that did the
01:09:31| same thing and he was bragging about it and then he went blind he canceled all
01:09:35| his Tour tour dates I didn't see this I didn't know he's a rapper
01:09:38| it's awesome so he was like we looking at the Sun we don't give a damn and then
01:09:43| all said he's like I regret to inform everyone I am candidates 8 4 7 9 7 13
01:09:49| use proper English so you know serious you know his agent
01:09:54| corrected it up for me yeah he just uses his stamp cuz he can't sign his own name
01:09:59| I mean that's a thing I actually want to see them the show that looks like it
01:10:04| would be awful about the dude who runs from there he's a rapper and he gets it
01:10:08| because like it's it he does as a joke but he gets the job yeah he'd be totally
01:10:12| one of those cats yeah yeah I watch that it looks like gonna be bad but at the
01:10:18| same time like hilarious on a oh really did that like how I would get into that
01:10:26| I wouldn't be like this is great comedy this needs to be for the masses but it
01:10:30| would be like I love us you know yeah I don't know if I have time for that but
01:10:35| if I did have time I'd watch that good point I don't have time for it but a
01:10:39| part of me will try and watch it somewhere see like a street sharks which
01:10:45| in podcast researching the podcast and helping the fans just find me and just
01:10:52| hmm just one grab them all by their hair by
01:10:57| the way I decided I'm growing it out by the way oh wow oh yeah yeah yeah I don't
01:11:02| see that every day that I know you you know you didn't go for a run today and
01:11:09| sweat happens oh stroking it oh by the way all the podcasters up there explain
01:11:20| to the auditory podcaster yeah I will tell the podcast something fun that
01:11:27| happened to me today here's my spark of the day it just occurred to me
01:11:31| mm-hmm with you while I have an older dog he's
01:11:35| half Maltese and poodle very entitled animal very aggressive very barks very
01:11:43| needy very growls and snaps at people very where's waiting for him to die well
01:11:50| the bundle of joy I get home everything's chilling I say
01:11:55| hey buddy go for a walk the hardest thing in the world is getting your son
01:12:01| the dog everyone situated when he got home you
01:12:04| know just everybody come on let's gather Collective lets you walk the dog it
01:12:10| makes it seem like it's his idea he walks a dog I'm out there I have to hold
01:12:15| both they get wrapped up around the trash cans I'm saying myself I'll kill
01:12:19| you dog I'll kill you just for getting wrapped in some trash cans and then I
01:12:22| say stepped over the line it's just a dog
01:12:25| it's okay walk back in he just peed usually poops nobody go get back in
01:12:32| about to give him this tree and I hear my son he's over here he goes uh-oh Otis
01:12:37| poop buddy it's probably just their side of the pie linear TV was three hard
01:12:48| poops hmm he waited till the next of it no no no this is already there
01:12:54| this is sometime during the day oh I just saw it otherwise I would have not
01:12:59| walked him as nicely as I did and then over on this side were three soft poops
01:13:04| melted into the floor I was like it's awesome
01:13:10| and he was like myself like is dinky I was like yeah don't touch it buddy I got
01:13:16| it Lysol Clorox I did the whole cuz I can't
01:13:23| I can't do soft poops has your son ever touched it no oh my god I would you know
01:13:30| what's one of the greatest ideas and Simon's are the simultaneously one of
01:13:33| the worst is we have these automatic vacuum cleaners little like Bob banks
01:13:38| yeah poop or puke did you try it no it
01:13:42| automatically goes by so during the day it runs when
01:13:45| work so if the dogs puke or poop it doesn't it spreads and everywhere
01:13:51| spreads it everywhere see where the robot went out during the day that's
01:13:55| nice honey it always goes from the kitchen back to
01:14:01| the bedrooms now in our Brits yep need that dog
01:14:09| yeah we do he's dead so the last bowl I want to talk about is uh I mentioned
01:14:14| that react was copyrighted it was attempted to be copyrighted by the fine
01:14:19| brothers the world fine brothers suck it yeah well they failed and then today
01:14:25| against them do you want to give them the challenge um for media power no I
01:14:29| know and that's how you win that's all right no no no no fans is how you win we
01:14:36| will crush those fools but anyway moving on yeah but a judge ruled today that
01:14:43| another podcast which are actually was YouTube heroes I guess but they not
01:14:49| really serious but yeah the youtubers they they challenged they actually use
01:14:54| somebody and criticize them and use their video and then that guy sued them
01:14:59| but he lost the judge ruled that it was fair use because they were criticizing
01:15:03| and just educate educational purposes and whatnot fair use see so react to
01:15:08| still oh yeah I can say we reacted to something and that's okay watching the
01:15:14| grandparents who react to GTA we can't make a show of people reacting yeah well
01:15:18| you might be able to interesting now it's fair use yeah
01:15:24| people reacting to bad podcasts yeah check this old people this is something
01:15:33| cool I am a Roman scholar I've been waiting to see this episode for 19 hours
01:15:38| let me see what facts you had fools well see next yeah we're gonna bring the heat
01:15:49| next episode we're gonna bring the cold we're gonna bring the heat cuz that's
01:15:54| what summer and winter was in Rome ha the summer cold in the winter I look
01:16:01| this up same thanks for listening tonight yeah question mark
01:16:11| we enjoyed telling you everything about ourselves
01:16:14| we're in titling this episode Rome and Greece we'll get to them eventually
01:16:21| we'll get there folks in the meantime folks stay classy no that's the thing
01:16:29| yeah go check us out on our social or what's date one fans a frosty good on
01:16:34| Panthers calm check out our other social media hierarchies like BL caterers at
01:16:39| Twitter mmhmm yeah enter whatever else we have us get just get enters get
01:16:44| Tweety get get horny I don't know how that helps us unless we have a female
01:16:52| entourage whatever up whoever as long as they're signing up get get shorty that's
01:17:04| that's a movie movie yeah got milk got shorty is that a movie got
01:17:10| shorty I have no idea you're reaching here I feel like you're reaching and I
01:17:19| I'm gonna slap that hand right down and say no more time alright daddy did this
01:17:27| podcast folks stay safe at home yeah we love you I'm Dan um Nick
01:17:40| we are the under [Music]
01:17:53| said what
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