Transcript of Episode 25 - Data
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00:00:00| and that's because I'm Dan yeah well Nick folks I'll gather reform it's
00:00:08| unlikely duo we just we're here we're there we just do it we're just II were
00:00:14| the unn panderer I'm Candice I actually wrote a summary
00:00:23| for us today summary of what your daily activities know what we do
00:00:28| oh ok this episode will this show this everything we do it's like we're old
00:00:33| lovers who grew apart but then came back together but they recently switched
00:00:41| genders but I was the man and you were the woman no you're the woman man anyway
00:00:50| it's really awkward it's like it's like we used to be lovers only now I don't
00:00:54| even know once you throw something away you can't go through the trash to pull
00:00:58| it back out never the same but don't you try the spaghetti sauce you just smear
00:01:06| to the side a little bit mmm Betty sauce makes it nice alright so
00:01:11| getting any bloating liquor because this is a 21 or older podcast and an older
00:01:17| podcast everything we say can't be used against us who cares and wall does more
00:01:20| wall sue us everything's fake to the sunrise ha check the transcript you're
00:01:27| not allowed to do anything we don't want you to exactly disseminate ya not ready
00:01:33| to go we're ready to go opinions just begun I'm pretty relaxed yeah what get
00:01:41| anything fresh or topical anything new you got going on and nothing real
00:01:46| yeah no no nothing new I don't have a topical section anymore our whole
00:01:50| podcast is topical in my heart although this track see what the topical
00:01:59| anaesthetics DEET is it's a real question I have no identity to the 4th
00:02:03| is a force like there's nothing special about the first met Nick don't you
00:02:10| remember you slam into a locker don't you reaming
00:02:16| anyway it's a very famous day for workout gear because people are getting
00:02:21| back in shape you know Aleutians I guess but my boobs have grown in I probably
00:02:28| gain like 15 pounds since his podcast started it's like an A and a half cup it
00:02:33| is I'm used to being a below a cup and I'm wearing this to remind myself
00:02:39| workout soon double a yeah I thought it was gonna
00:02:43| start working out the first but I had alcohol poisoning we'll get into that
00:02:46| then I thought I was gonna work out the second but it was freezing cold then
00:02:50| there was the past couple days I've been busy mm-hmm
00:02:53| and I was honestly so I have been looking on Reddit and stuff and people
00:02:58| who lose weight gain weight lose weight gain link that's what I do yeah it's
00:03:01| like like a most them yes most of them tend to lose the weight towards the
00:03:06| warmer sunnier weather oh so you're gonna hold off until you get closer to
00:03:10| summer no no that's just it's literally what I do I can't even fight it like I
00:03:15| tend to get fatter around October and I go into it I always curl my hair out I
00:03:19| grow a beard I don't know what it is and then around March April I actually start
00:03:24| running again and I lose weight and in seconds every year it's like I'm some
00:03:27| sort of animal that can't break the cycle that's so odd what's odd is that I
00:03:32| did last night because it's very isn't that natural like um depression like
00:03:37| light makes you happier move more um her weather also affective disorder or
00:03:43| whatever yeah I say dmg like ten hundred percent sure I have that furrow the part
00:03:49| that's odd is that I've been losing weight during the winter well you're now
00:03:53| reverse sad yeah and I'm not exercise would you call it month um hepatitis
00:03:59| appetite protection pretension oh we call it
00:04:03| happy it's reverse sad its programming for like hours on end with that eating
00:04:08| I'm hungry and I'm just laying now nobody I don't need you
00:04:11| Thursday you'll wither away my brain will survive I'll be that little kawatte
00:04:16| too from Total Recall be a bright my own horse ode we wither away into a
00:04:27| tiny frail body things a little no I'm just programming on a keyboard good for
00:04:34| you yeah it'll be a step up then like Dennis
00:04:44| Quaid or somebody who's the stomach the guy it's like a generic guy he must have
00:04:48| passed away you don't see him anymore that actor yeah I think it's a it's a
00:04:51| generic one but it's one that was up Quaid in that movie or someone Oh his
00:04:56| name's Quaid Jesus is it me oh no wait you think this is the real Quaid oh it
00:05:04| is shut up Arnold he I follow him on snapchat I think he started checking out
00:05:16| the podcast I can't prove it got some hits from California and mmm a dog
00:05:22| checking out the on panders suite Thank You Arnold so awesome just saying it's
00:05:28| fantastic finally we're getting the ball rolling we're up to nine subscribe Rupp
00:05:34| to Corrections and think it may want to reacts from last time well I would like
00:05:40| to throw out a tongue twister actually you have one yeah I'll say oh really
00:05:49| I am I taking this from you let's see how good it is let's wait well it's two
00:05:54| two words two simple words like boil boil your owl oilier owl like a more
00:06:04| oily out yes it's a two word version yet a more oily out an oilier owl an oilier
00:06:11| owl an oilier owl an oilier owl an oilier out an oilier house yeah think
00:06:17| about it yeah I could feel how hard you're thinking about it dude pretend I
00:06:23| was starting to do them words - I was I was starting nine words my think it's in
00:06:30| your head anyway I but I did pretty good uh-huh considering that was a
00:06:34| that's a good I was gonna throw in an oligarchy in there too just to throw
00:06:39| really al it doesn't it doesn't make sense but Sally's shoe shells by the
00:06:47| seashore I guess that doesn't make sense it's
00:06:50| still the surly seaman started secretly for the end of that well you can figure
00:06:59| that one out you can get the backpack me Wendy if we
00:07:02| could figure out you know anything new like I hate my family oh I don't I
00:07:09| didn't have to see my family for this uh this this holiday I we just relaxed Oh
00:07:13| Joe immediate like you know immediate family no direct family yeah you just
00:07:23| want to be left alone but they say you got to change their diaper and you guys
00:07:27| that's just your age to do that yeah are your sons bitchin
00:07:33| he's bitching he's crying which one he sees us in the future I love you I love
00:07:41| little man but you're crying like a bitch today
00:07:43| I don't but you're not money selling my son if you're watching Jesus Christ I
00:07:47| love you okay Oh Dan son let's not get crazy here hmm
00:07:53| I mean I might did we what if I married your son in the future
00:08:01| turns out everyone's gates your 2034 I've chosen a younger I'm going through
00:08:07| so many areas in my head and none of them turned out good it's like I've run
00:08:11| through like 98 scenarios and they're all terrible they've all failed well
00:08:16| listen the father of the bride has to pay for the wedding you're saying that
00:08:23| I'm older yeah yeah older he's gonna be manlier than you good-looking but I
00:08:42| meant like like a fine one yeah thank you
00:08:47| he's good respond along today yep all right just so my correction I really did
00:08:52| want to drop this real quick in a previous episode I mentioned that
00:08:57| Mountain Dew caused a lower sperm count that's the most ridiculous thing it
00:09:03| started back in the 80s 90s I don't know what it was it's very urban based I
00:09:08| think it started in the inner cities it's not true breaking into a dental lab
00:09:13| and shooting x-rays into your crotch over and over and over after a night of
00:09:19| heavy drinking and laughing with your friends and catch it all on your cell
00:09:23| phones that will lower your sperm count so I'm just worried to clarify so if
00:09:29| you're lowered enough or you you're good right you don't need a condom I think I
00:09:36| think that's how it works right I just mean like you know a little
00:09:41| sideways they're not gonna make it they swim below okay yeah they swim more
00:09:51| I figure if he gets like really screwed up then it could like latch onto the
00:09:55| back of a one healthy one and then they battle one gets in oh yeah yeah he
00:10:03| strangles them right as he gets to the I want to say corona of the egg but that's
00:10:07| probably not right as one sperm just any kills the other way I'm not even kidding
00:10:20| I would probably legit watch like a planet Earth documentary that was an
00:10:25| hour long and it was just a sperms journey to the egg
00:10:28| it's like survivor I think it's also like a space like sci-fi type thing like
00:10:34| do you think cuz how bigger the sperm compared to the egg it's like it's maxi
00:10:39| it'll be like us running into like I don't know the City of Compton Chicago I
00:10:51| would pick the c-word wait would it be that big it's not that big right a
00:10:55| little smaller now what this up right now cuz I feel like
00:10:58| it's I probably like I feel like how cool would it be when there's like
00:11:03| hundreds and thousands of other sperms like breathing heavy I know that I'm
00:11:07| brave every really cool and just like in slow-mo like swimming to your left and
00:11:12| to your right and you're cresting this Ridge and you just see it and it's like
00:11:18| they came upon it suddenly it's like Morgan Freeman's voice he's like they
00:11:22| came and they saw the Holy Grail and it's like they're still swimming in
00:11:27| slow-mo like I think you can you can break that down like 10 minutes for me
00:11:32| get some really good lighting effects and like super HD
00:11:36| yeses to them though yeah I was about ease you control squiggly faces on them
00:11:42| our bio teacher did write a happy sperm I think he did is our sad spot I mean
00:11:53| for a few minutes anyway hey I'm just saying this hold up they can last in
00:12:00| your body for like two days yeah it's 48 hours that's something I
00:12:06| didn't look up but that's that's way there you go son great good on you yeah
00:12:12| I timed it 46 hours I tried he's that he's a 50-hour his
00:12:21| carrier is a marathoner Oh scratching your eye on a podcast bride
00:12:28| bad yeah Oh felt weak you're right either way oh like a live again for the
00:12:36| first time in my life I did I do have a topical thing that I've been watching
00:12:41| black mirror cuz that released on Netflix uh used to talk to me about
00:12:45| black mirror a long time ago I still haven't seen one episode and I'm like
00:12:48| can operate the person does it season three or I think it's been worn out
00:12:53| everyone talks about it and it's about technology as bad and a black mirror is
00:12:58| a device turned off obviously hmm I mean I realize that just talking about the
00:13:05| name and the the fact that every episode apparently has technology being bad I
00:13:09| didn't see it I have never I always took it as like Blackmore like
00:13:12| you're trying to look at something and it's supposed to reflect to you but it
00:13:15| does well I get twists but it that's what an of a thing all does doesn't it
00:13:21| I suppose explain you living it it's a four-eyed thing which you made so it is
00:13:26| a mirror I don't know whatever I don't watch a goddamn show anybody how long
00:13:32| which episode did you watch because I know they have names I see them floating
00:13:36| around the ethers I will say that the first season was soso but the one
00:13:42| episode of just watched again the four seasons were four so it's brand-new
00:13:47| brand-new episodes so this is a spoiler alert if you're not on to like the film
00:13:52| please like as poodles blow no no it's a little bit ok ok little it's like a
00:13:56| fraction of an episode in one of the episodes they download someone's
00:14:00| conscious consciousness conscious I can't say it into sounds like an episode
00:14:06| of The Young Panthers I'm telling you as well we're screwed so it's right into
00:14:11| someone else's brain so you can't turn them off and you just constantly hear
00:14:15| your wife telling you what you did wrong yeah that's exactly like the moment you
00:14:23| realized that this is not a good idea she won't shut up she keeps commenting
00:14:27| she won't stop does someone else's consciousness control you at or just
00:14:31| comments our hear them constantly I'm gonna do stuff they hate uh-huh are you
00:14:40| gonna crap that ugly Weiner yours and pull it and pull it I am now you know I
00:14:46| mean like just whatever just yeah just stuff it can't believe it huh can't
00:14:56| believe she said that I hate my girl beautiful it's because I think don't
00:15:03| worry about a diversion we weren't too far your relationship is gorgeous it
00:15:07| sure is oh crap I caught myself looking at myself and now you're stuck no no no
00:15:16| whoa I am so I'll tell the podcast I'm trying to stop this this is a behavior
00:15:22| pattern of mine that it knows since I grew long hair and notices oh yeah when
00:15:28| I um tend to get drunk --is-- stop trying to one-up me you're not gonna
00:15:33| well I know what you're about to say though I touch my hair when I get really
00:15:37| drunk yeah whenever you're attracted to somebody no
00:15:40| Jesus I'm saying when I am when the drinks I'm drinking start flowing
00:15:46| through me the more drink I am the more I end up touching my hair I'm like oh
00:15:51| man whoa you're like you'll see me in some episode so I'm like this is insane
00:15:57| and now I look back and I'm like hmm that's a lot of hair hair on hair on
00:16:05| Tinian action yeah mm-hmm you do have nice hair I'm like thank you it's pretty
00:16:15| good no I it's good listen Mike I'll take it
00:16:26| in I'll take it in mine's almost like hockey mullet like it's getting good
00:16:32| it's getting there yeah he'll be good but playoffs it's a
00:16:38| shame the Flyers won't be there they seemed in the beginning but they faded
00:16:42| I actually don't watch them anymore oh I do look at the highlights all the time
00:16:50| and read their tweets from the people hey we're not gonna get it um were the
00:16:56| day I'm gonna do it for y'all hmm do you skip a section you will then go back
00:17:02| I'll let you go which section would that be Jesus Christ usually we do you can do
00:17:13| word of the day go ahead go ahead tower did all folks
00:17:18| tarah diddle yeah Tara diddle little paradiddle can you use it in a sentence
00:17:23| please I was hanging with my homies I did a
00:17:28| little paradiddle they didn't care because they know it was very little
00:17:33| it's a fib or a lie that's like pretentious nonsense kind of
00:17:39| like how the Joker is like Batman's the Joker in comics not like Heath Ledger's
00:17:44| the Joker that was a little darker you know Terra diddle interesting I do like
00:17:50| it I do like I had to look it up because I didn't believe it
00:17:52| have you sick at like the images I'm curious what you get The Joker shop
00:17:58| that'll be cool no it's a picture of a dinosaur holding a briefcase
00:18:03| it's a Terran Doodle that's a terrible Viper
00:18:06| yeah it's an only to work son dad be extinct forever going to work son
00:18:13| nobody great move you know I had a word - mm-hmm I don't know how to pronounce
00:18:19| it cuz I've only read it an old old itch which you ll AG it's the amount by which
00:18:30| a container falls short of being full was the remainder I imagine that's
00:18:41| always Coolidge it just sounds more Oh German or
00:18:48| something I don't know but it sounds illage maybe how much ollege is left oh
00:18:53| really you mean Oh Cap'n you can be all those
00:18:56| people like you need something act on a halogen bulb a CH you need to be filled
00:19:05| oh cool this much this much in the corner fat guy try and turn around
00:19:16| interesting I like that word just seems it just stands out whenever right okay
00:19:21| yeah it just pops right in there I mean it's definitely unique just one segment
00:19:29| we do every week that people talk about enough people will literally disrupt me
00:19:39| they'll cut themselves with their keys at weird spots and just start screaming
00:19:44| and then everyone turn look what's going on and the other people start cutting
00:19:53| themselves and they're screaming next thing you know the entire bank line is
00:19:57| filled with people caught in themselves people screaming Sookie are you guys
00:20:00| looking over he's screaming now someone else walks in the clerk is
00:20:05| screaming and the bank hits the emergency alarm and I say guys I'd like
00:20:10| to make it deposit just celebrity challenge man I love
00:20:23| I do enjoy them no challenges hmm come on get it up who might be the focus I
00:20:31| don't know Wow David Spade and David Schwimmer ha ha at the Chocobo Ruiz taco
00:20:40| taco bell talk about vanity all right team what that is explain to our viewers
00:20:47| what that is so you they will know if you've ever played final fantasy run
00:20:52| several hours as you all know Final Fantasy seven stops counting at ninety
00:20:58| nine hours in 99 minutes and 99 seconds we all know I know yeah yeah I knew that
00:21:05| one a couple gold choco bows not one two anyway a choco bow is something like a
00:21:13| cross between an ostrich a chicken and a horse it's an adorable creature and they
00:21:19| can walk over certain green ones can walk over land blue ones can walk over
00:21:25| wood gold ones can walk over whatever the f-bomb they wanna you have to race
00:21:32| them and breed them and give them the right Leafs get their attributes up
00:21:38| anyway I think be how do you talk about always talking about how they play
00:21:45| fantasy games and I feel like at please file fancy everyone loves tacos
00:21:51| let's go full-bore and do this for charity so if you gotta face each other
00:21:58| in a race running and pick which I fancy or did rickety a little bit yeah there
00:22:05| you go whoever wins will donate the proceeds to
00:22:12| whatever charity they want I don't care what charity I don't really care how
00:22:16| expensive it is as long as it's under cha cha Cobo I say it I mean because I J
00:22:29| or a CH or uh ch ch kebab shockable did you Jack a
00:22:36| boat I don't know some Italian guy pops out I saw a screen full at time and I'm
00:22:43| just like man guy to the finish oh man okay that's embarrassing
00:22:50| oh they held lineage like we're up to like 13 or so many freaking job you tell
00:22:55| you I hear the chocolate ja close that's weird and I played that game I don't
00:23:01| remember that at all I'd I remember in the movie though the preview to the
00:23:06| movie that I've never watched the one with all that like they they always
00:23:13| talked about the hair like the hair was so graphically generated and beautiful
00:23:17| that it took months to generate how it looked
00:23:21| [Music] is the hair and just like you had like
00:23:26| one guy that's just like and that scene took like 15 maybe 16 days Oh what took
00:23:34| me two seconds to do fantastic I wanted to interject another well good
00:23:41| because I hit the next thing I wanted to mention it's a product product but it's
00:23:45| not a big deal okay actually here he's pretty big with this
00:23:48| is they're tied together do you want to throwback Thursday and
00:23:51| it's Thursday and I'd like to throw back okay throw back your throw back let's
00:23:56| sit you oh I'll go first here listen to go do you remember when you used to go
00:24:01| to parties that like um mostly white women wearing like heels and like red
00:24:06| heels and like housewives they didn't even have lives in the 70s and 80s they
00:24:10| would just stay at the house and fix things in the house
00:24:12| they're the ones who bought microwaves they're the ones who thought vacuum
00:24:17| cleaners would change the world they're the ones who would make fruitcakes and
00:24:22| like weird pies and like jell-o molds like they would always do new stuff
00:24:27| because they were going insane living at home doing nothing yeah darn out their
00:24:33| minds right so they did crazy stuff does anyone remember lemon pigs come on lemon
00:24:41| pigs Lenin pigs so you go to a party they'd have a lemon you cut the mouth
00:24:47| you'd put clothes for the eyes yeah toothpick feet yeah let them take anyway
00:24:58| stuff like that it didn't lemon pig was just one example but like creme general
00:25:03| like a craft night or just just whatever they would do whenever I'm just
00:25:09| remembering all the old school things I came upon a lemon pig recipe etc
00:25:14| recently but but just they used to do so many crazy house eat things but didn't
00:25:20| even make sense oh this guy typing in Lenin paper check it out check it out
00:25:24| wow that's yeah it's actually better than I thought I would look no right
00:25:30| which does that one have a coiner now coin oh no it doesn't that's a New
00:25:38| Year's lemon pick I got it I got it even though I'm too deep
00:25:48| real quick before you even get your throw back in mm-hmm I do want to do my
00:25:52| product load sure I've been following this product on this crazy ride since
00:26:06| little better because this is an emotional bitcoin hmm this one's a
00:26:10| Twitter account called at molten funk check it out everyone I know you're
00:26:17| saying to myself that's me that's Nick that why is he plugging himself I'm not
00:26:22| just plugging myself this is a real Twitter account that affects me on the
00:26:28| day-to-day um recently he released one of his more
00:26:31| popular tweets on New Year's Day it was I hated I don't curse
00:26:37| online but it's effin lemon pig up in here I posted his own lemon Pig Wow and
00:26:45| it's pretty good right oh yeah well let's see what kind of stats this guy
00:26:50| guy like is the famous Twitter account I don't know how many people saw the lemon
00:26:55| Pig thirty five thousand seven hundred ninety-eight how many people clicked on
00:27:00| the picture 1912 not as many but you know ah
00:27:04| we have link links 269 Holy Smoke ten safety net how many likes 211 how many
00:27:13| retweets thirty-seven oh this guy it seems like he's pretty legit so I did a
00:27:22| little background work I looked up molten funk I've been following for
00:27:25| years guys funny as hell I actually got a hold of picture right here what the
00:27:35| hell would you copy one online or is that the one no let me see the tail I
00:27:40| only see that did you have a tail and then oh it's the same one oh holy shit
00:27:47| wait click on link Oh lemon big Twitter that's exactly what I'm looking at right
00:27:54| now you're at you top Google oh this is now at 70s party wrong one
00:28:01| you copied this well I mean I use their formula wait wait wait it was at
00:28:07| seventies party yep that's whose thing I copied and pasted
00:28:12| and that's where I got all these hits yes I said a small world Wow
00:28:18| anyway I'm gonna tell you folks 11 pigs moles bunk lemon babe it's a new fad
00:28:28| begin the fat again yes I'm doing here something really funny Wow I mean so I
00:28:33| was getting like my phone was blowing up like I was getting all these no to kick
00:28:37| notifications cuz no one thinks I'm very funny on the internet and ha ha ha ha
00:28:41| perfectly when I made 11 Piggy's a joke for my goddamn son
00:28:44| uh-huh oh my phone was blowing up and I was like everyone loves 11th a get
00:28:49| everyone cuz like I don't care what do you talking about I was like that's all
00:28:53| and then my son started playing with it they're like he loves it and I'm like ok
00:28:57| he's like lemon pig smell this and he would smell the hand i neva smelling the
00:29:01| bacon and all like this is ridiculous it's like I'm in a movie house it's my
00:29:06| son pretending lemon pig is smelling the things that are made of pig so I told
00:29:12| everyone at the party we should all make a lemon pig and I mean like 6 long it
00:29:16| takes there's like six 11 things up there
00:29:17| this is the original is the good one but now that makes me that story makes me
00:29:22| feel real good I don't know what it is but it's like the lemon scent of lemon
00:29:27| just leaves my brain my most famous thing I've done on the internet now is
00:29:32| lemon pig oh yeah it's not it's not that famous but its more famous anything else
00:29:37| I've written and it's almost like I'm ashamed of it but I'm like well lemon do
00:29:42| a happy homemaker I guess you know I was making it as a joke I guess whatever you
00:29:48| know what you have to do maybe I can't make it no lemon pig it's not gonna get
00:29:52| any hits like uh-huh well I don't know well we have a new segment so the
00:29:56| segment includes either one of the three and says there's something awesome you
00:29:59| saw something is just daily annoyingness mm-hmm or the reddit repost which you
00:30:06| could post on reddit as the lemon pig and I guarantee someone will either hate
00:30:11| it immensely or love it
00:30:14| here's the issue see this coin mm-hm it's a good luck thing you do it on New
00:30:20| Year's Eve or New Year Day so good luck for the year opportunity every days well
00:30:25| I mean I did the Twitter opportunity I was tweet that's probably why it took
00:30:28| off on Twitter why don't you make it a nickel and just say it's like a four
00:30:31| days later for every January or the I said piece Lennon pig it doesn't have
00:30:40| the same ring but I hear you oh you keep going though I mean there's pieces right
00:30:46| so I had one reddit hit - this happened like four weeks ago is my handsome son
00:30:51| leaning on right I am so I edited the post as you all know on reddit you can
00:30:56| edit a post I had something like you know hundred bullshit on you promoting
00:31:01| whatever yeah also if you guys are bored check out the UM panders whatever and
00:31:07| the funniest thing is like five minutes later a response like lol nah that's
00:31:14| rude you don't know if this is a great channel or not internet trolls I posted
00:31:20| two questions to Reddit what was like isn't it you know the funny thing is
00:31:25| like it was a snack reddit so I posted like what's the one thing that you would
00:31:30| like to disprove like the people who say they have like oh they made so much
00:31:34| money here or they tell you a story that's completely outlandish well
00:31:38| Christianity no I was just like what's on reddit that you want to disprove so I
00:31:44| posted that when I um - today's reddit no that was yesterday
00:31:50| it may I'm sure of my today feed I didn't read all but anyway I saw the
00:31:54| headline I think yeah yeah I think I saw the headline huh maybe it's popular now
00:31:59| you check it out but the first thing that happened is I got downloads good
00:32:02| the first thing that happened I got down voted I had zero likes right away yeah
00:32:09| there must be a bot out there that's just like we don't want to hear your
00:32:12| topic like they're just trying to promote something
00:32:15| everything's a group a cult you know I mean look if you didn't put your time in
00:32:19| like this guy show up from where he's got like 5 posts f-1 what's happen I
00:32:24| think when people look back at this time like from to that
00:32:27| fifteen - like 2020 they're gonna say it's like the the half decade of the bot
00:32:32| like they're gonna find out that like everything that's controlled is now
00:32:35| computer related and now it's like all the likes all the Twitter looks and all
00:32:40| that stuff is all all pure by AI hmm we're almost at our subject of the
00:32:48| evening and I like how we made the episode nice and concise but we didn't
00:32:53| even get to scenarios yeah I do have a scenario for you let me feel it
00:33:00| with my you know I'm gonna go blind here yeah okay so it's pretty easy you have
00:33:06| three options it's either you're stuck with a permanent facial expression you
00:33:11| can either smile all the time frown all the time or have no emotion at
00:33:15| all so what do you choose for the rest of your life no emotion at all you
00:33:21| become a Normie yeah it would be boring as hell but they think of it if I'm
00:33:25| smiling all the time and so I was like your son he came to us he's been charged
00:33:30| here is remains convinced a man can think this man you'd be in the courtroom
00:33:38| just like like that six top don't like this so if I were to cut out neutral
00:33:58| expression what would you pick I guess happy I'd rather live yeah happy you
00:34:05| know why because I feel like the inverse reactions are gonna balance out or like
00:34:11| I do crazy amping positive any other you were different
00:34:13| but the everyday day to day stuff someone sees you smile and kind of
00:34:16| cheers a mop so I'm doing more cheering up on the in-between stuff and like you
00:34:22| know my interaction with a bank teller where I'm like thank you God like I mean
00:34:26| like I'm like that's cool maybe they smile although they see me
00:34:30| week after week after week and I always smile that's we got to you hit the curve
00:34:35| where you finally become normal creep and then Admiral
00:34:39| like yeah this guy's too regular that's like hey when I worked hey you
00:34:45| know Trump declared war on Korea which Korea so dude you could play off
00:34:54| everyone you know he declared war right on what himself because you gotta keep
00:35:02| smiling and they're like up of this guy he's just crazy you can make a joke of
00:35:07| everything there was a guy I mean you didn't pay any of the bills this month
00:35:12| I'm going to there's a guy who always smiled no no no there was a guy at Pizza
00:35:24| Hut we never knew his intentions he would always order when you worked if he
00:35:28| thought yeah this is back decades ago being sexy big sexy and was I this is a
00:35:36| big sexy and then hung up or something like ridiculous that teenagers do well
00:35:40| they were gonna beat that no no no he would come in he'd physically be yet we
00:35:43| had this little window that was like four walk up orders which is weird now I
00:35:47| think about it and pizza but um he would he would always order
00:35:52| our personal pan pizza which is like the smallest pizza you could buy with very
00:35:57| specific ingredients which would be like a green pepper and sausage and something
00:36:02| else but he you don't remember really I I think it might have been bacon but he
00:36:09| would always order that every day he'd come in and we always be like what is
00:36:14| wrong with this guy like you know yeah you see the smile every day you're like
00:36:19| in the beginning you think you know it's novel but ever why you're just like he's
00:36:23| got an issue you know he's got a problem this is great this guy's amazing
00:36:27| really this is the most thing the most the most the happiest part of that story
00:36:34| is that he was actually ordering that for his son because his son would only
00:36:37| eat personal pan pizzas that had as toppings so he ordered the same thing
00:36:42| every day for his son for about a month until his son was tired of so he's
00:36:47| actually thirty days in a long time I'll yeah yeah we were like in each time like
00:36:53| braver and he'd never said anything about his son until like the last week
00:36:57| and then we're all like oh man the first day he was like I'm just getting this
00:37:02| pizza it's for my son by the way roll tweet like I'm getting this ear
00:37:07| medication I think it for my uncle by the way I think it took like one of the
00:37:13| jerks in the restaurant to be like so what's your fascination with personal
00:37:18| pan pizzas with sausage and bacon and green peppers he's like it's for my son
00:37:23| he's an Indian guy so I can't see the Indian accent cuz that's offensive but
00:37:26| craisins he was an Indian guy I'm like a lot oh it's racist you don't know if he
00:37:31| was he could have had Indian ish features it doesn't mean he's Indian
00:37:36| I did say sausage so he probably isn't really Indian man's a fraud so now
00:37:44| you're calling this man a fraud I don't know when Hinduism really kicks
00:37:48| in if they're under a certain age they're allowed to imbibe huh that's
00:37:58| pensive there's a lot of pensive thoughts going on in my brain right now
00:38:01| I mean like be more pensive all right we better skip to the markers mom no you
00:38:15| forgot this marker smile then it of mine was I'm wearing exercise gear cuz I'm
00:38:19| fat that's the smarter smile yeah it's also topical I guess I don't know hmm I
00:38:25| did want to work out today but it's like actually I'm really cold here too good
00:38:32| I'm glad in fact I'm here early last night your sovereign I have to wear my
00:38:37| winter jacket like 2 times a year and this is the second day so I'm kind of
00:38:42| tired of it I think I'm moving out dude maybe
00:38:46| somewhere south where it's warm I do have a smoker smile but I'll I'll delay
00:38:50| it until next week and then I also have a contingent product plug which is
00:38:55| fascinating I mean that's gonna go a lot it's gonna go so long let's just move on
00:39:06| I know so follower of the show dil Dan often a quote unquote I really like the
00:39:13| show I was listening to not so great rollers and you guys take so long to get
00:39:20| to the main subject no shit cuz we're talking about other stuff fuck
00:39:26| you till then and I said that's a good point and I think we'll try and be more
00:39:43| expedient we haven't been know we like to take her time we aren't going to be a
00:39:50| little foreplay we're pleasure two layers that would you
00:39:54| say we are yeah exuberant pleasured layers like from the movie even Al's guy
00:39:59| I don't you're a pleasure Delayer are you sure it's she's saying that Tom
00:40:10| Cruise is Tom Cruise saying that to her she says that Vettel cruise you are a
00:40:14| pleasure Delayer she's she's probably cuz she's topless
00:40:17| cuz I couldn't pay attention to where words at that point no but she is one of
00:40:21| the more gorgeous things going oh my god can we agree what's our main topic I
00:40:27| forgot already see a comic for dill van who by the way he won't drink coca-cola
00:40:37| because of one of the ingredients in there is made by people of the Jewish
00:40:42| faith and he thinks it might be Zionist this is him why do you agree diem I
00:40:50| would you know there are two guys that know the formula
00:40:55| ever there was one of them that tried to sell the Pepsi but he got arrested I
00:41:01| don't know anything about that we just skirt over it I got in here
00:41:05| mm-hmm there's two guys and they both know the formula half the formula
00:41:10| I forget how those goes I've been drinking well he touched my hair to
00:41:13| prove it I don't know the formula but apparently it's super-secret only two
00:41:18| people in the world know it gets locked in like this vault that needs two people
00:41:22| to open it guy wanting guys do yeah they're like plantation is Dan think
00:41:28| till Dan thinks that one of these guys has an agenda and he's making us all
00:41:33| believe further in Israel or Zion or I don't know he goes on on I can't listen
00:41:39| little guy but he only drinks Pepsi this is the weird part so he fell in love
00:41:45| with Crystal Pepsi right oh let's just see it while ago he still buys it off
00:41:50| eBay Wow that's gonna be ten years twenty years
00:41:53| old it doesn't matter and this is the weird part you would think is go down in
00:41:57| price okay it's like $13 for a two-liter just seeing the thing he's like I'm so
00:42:03| thirsty and I was like for a nuclear core that's what I thought I said for
00:42:08| what a coca-cola whatever he said no for a Pepsi this is how he sounds like okay
00:42:14| I'll do it he says for a Pepsi I have to have
00:42:19| certain ingredients in my Pepsi in it it's not your business
00:42:24| and I'm like don't cares like just wash your manners relax dude and he's like
00:42:29| this no I need the clear Pepsi it's the only one that'll do it I just paid 1394
00:42:36| for a 2-liter bottle and at this point I clicked like off but I hit the mute
00:42:41| button he talked to me for like I don't know I went in the other room I left my
00:42:45| phone I came back 34 minutes it gone by and he's still talking I picked I was
00:42:49| like hello Dan he goes I stopped talking and I was like I gotta go dude you gotta
00:42:56| go what are my plants there's all these guts
00:42:59| so I don't know I'm more into it anyway you guys clear Pepsi for like 50 bucks
00:43:03| if you can find him on the intern freaking Salim clear Pepsi to buy one
00:43:07| for like three bucks selling it 4050 who cares I hate him it's the guy who's
00:43:13| selling it to him it's probably millionaire by now he's got a base
00:43:15| that's loose and he's an idiot yeah but whatever I don't know move on oh wow
00:43:27| we've got 17 minutes it's this I even nicknamed it because
00:43:35| Nick named it yes named it okay it's called big sexy data oh yes data not
00:43:45| neutrality question oh yeah that's good it's Internet freedom and we're gonna
00:43:51| talk about big data and a little bit about Internet freedom and net
00:43:55| neutrality sure we're gonna sum it up in probably less than 15 minutes
00:44:00| somehow sixteen oh good do you want to start the origin of data No did you
00:44:18| that's no I'm just thinking it for my just thinking out loud here I believe is
00:44:25| one of the graphs oh that's digital data all right yes
00:44:29| yeah human dude hatest I was in 2002 and it started being collected and cracked
00:44:34| it so be Saltz didn't episodes on how he's a big friend of the podcast like
00:44:42| transmitting data well how you can destroy data Oh hmm it's hard as shit
00:44:51| you think it's easy to find what your data is first Oh disprove you
00:44:58| let's say it's on a hard drive okay you good
00:45:02| oh yeah cuz if there's a little remnant there and you gotta rewrite it like 16
00:45:07| years around there well and if you just delete it up your hard drive or and then
00:45:12| recycle empty your recycle bin like what I'm still there it's the page if I can't
00:45:17| be put together back by someone who has a knowledge yeah the wearable wearable
00:45:24| that's what they do for people who murder people and they search yeah
00:45:28| they search how to do things and they save documents and then they recycle bin
00:45:32| it but computer this just has like a little pointer points to a file and the
00:45:40| what you're deleting is the pointer to the file so all the bits are still there
00:45:45| you just have to read them directly from the whole hard drive either way he
00:45:52| mentioned how it was kind of a pain the answer delete even simple searches this
00:45:57| files you save I mean you can do it yeah but it's known once too they can
00:46:02| probably piece together with technology especially future technology not just
00:46:06| early technology but now it's like being like blockchain stuff like you have like
00:46:12| once you do one transaction it gets spread around it's like five maybe
00:46:17| blockchain elements like nodes and then after that it's everywhere it's just you
00:46:23| know you can't delete that stuff it's what's the warning you litter was on
00:46:28| cataloging everything to the Library of Congress for a while everything to them
00:46:34| like what they tweeted towards me every tweet hmm was ever logged into the
00:46:40| Library of Congress I believe they just it literally announced I want to say two
00:46:44| months ago one month ago that they stopped adult garbage sworn there was
00:46:50| wasting space but even those things if you delete your tweets or whatever I'm
00:46:58| sure they can still find it I went through a period in my life where I um I
00:47:04| got off to some tweets so hmm oh look up some more graphic Twitter stuff and just
00:47:11| look at it have a good time and then look away you're talking about tumblr
00:47:15| right then I have tweet no wool tumblers - pornographic Twitter what's it
00:47:21| yeah I didn't know this but either way like that stuff's on there forever right
00:47:25| yeah are you doing that listen I was looking at myself in the corner I love
00:47:35| doing to yourself I understand that yeah I just masturbate to pictures of myself
00:47:40| [Laughter] anyway oh yeah so that's gonna be stored
00:47:48| forever on the cloud anyway so when I'm a politician I'm tremoring for good for
00:47:51| president president Dan was news key and not elected anyway an old college
00:48:04| roommate of mine Tommy the Fox flowers flowers used to
00:48:08| call data Gator Gator Gator cuz he said in his dad's voice yeah stuck with me
00:48:16| every day but um big dater always contains they break it down to the five
00:48:23| B's did you get into this I did not get into any of this volume variety velocity
00:48:28| variety variability and veracity okay so let me reiterate you miss quantity
00:48:37| yeah connotation variety is the type or nature of data it could be goddamn how
00:48:43| much birds either got in birdies there could be how many drone strikes you
00:48:48| dropped in Syria it could be how many miles per hour
00:48:52| um Zdeno Chara shoots a pocket it's really another package what's what's in
00:48:56| the container you tryin acting just package is extremely important at the
00:49:01| offenders we love packages send us all your package picks anyway
00:49:08| velocity is the speed at which it's gathered mm-hmm or the amount that it
00:49:15| accumulates in a overcome uh-huh so we're up to triple V's now what's the
00:49:20| quadruple D variability this one's interesting it's the
00:49:25| inconsistency in data hmm where we've run into outliers or other eases or it
00:49:32| works obsolete things stuff like that
00:49:35| and lastly pen wrap any pen tupple I don't know it's a fog veracity which is
00:49:43| the quality will no baby makes you gather most of this data from a big
00:49:48| dater which you'll hear that word from Big D Big Data that's where we gather
00:49:56| some Ariel smart phones cameras RF IDs microphones wireless sensors software
00:50:03| logs what that's interesting solve our thoughts EUL a horn oh that describes
00:50:12| the end o tracking your ID movement and that's overdoing folks
00:50:19| we're tracking you were an you to Big Data right now watching us you're
00:50:24| getting into big data how you feel like that you piece of shit
00:50:27| yeah us us broadcast this riding a big data I feel about that you please shit
00:50:32| like Google can figure out like what you watch what you'd like and I might change
00:50:37| the arrow position I love it okay sorry no they're tracking everything if you
00:50:42| think about it the Google is everything but a search engine in the world they
00:50:45| can just track every every interest in a stock and then they could decide if a
00:50:51| stock is gonna go up or down based on how many people search for it
00:50:55| interesting very data controls the world so big data which incorporates data from
00:51:03| how many people are buying 32 34 genes at urban pipeline and how many secret
00:51:11| messages or being traded between Isis members it's all big data yeah it's a
00:51:18| lot of freaking information or how many bowel movements you have and you post
00:51:23| online I don't know well you could track your phone when you
00:51:26| go to the toilet right if they can hone in right there what if you're a serial
00:51:31| killer who doesn't even take his phone to the toilet so what if you applied for
00:51:34| a job at Google look at your family you spend 15 minutes
00:51:40| on the toilet it's above average which is Oh twice a day interesting
00:51:46| interesting yeah they're looking down looking up I'll tell you what you look
00:51:52| at my toilet No thank you I'll leave this interview right now have a good day
00:51:57| yeah so interesting thing about big dater is that it doubles every 40 months
00:52:07| Wow it's a lot of data and that's not even hold on that's starting in 1980
00:52:13| yeah Moore's law interesting good call so
00:52:25| exabytes of data are added a day Hey look I accept a terabyte petabyte
00:52:31| exabyte maybe it's something order so it's a lot of assets Vader I mean you're
00:52:47| also taken into account teenagers angas YouTube videos were
00:52:53| Logan Paul shows dead bodies and points to him and everything and laughs hey
00:52:58| shout out Paul Logan or Logan Paul whichever name is he's a big fan of the
00:53:02| podcast we totally agree with everything he does except the dead body stuff so if
00:53:06| you're following follow us I like to specify that I was correct it does go
00:53:11| terabyte petabyte exabyte zettabyte and then yottabyte well that's interesting
00:53:18| cuz by 2025 the entirety of information we have in Big Data
00:53:23| will reach 163 Zeta by baby yeah that's 1,000 to the seventh I don't
00:53:33| even know how large that is I can't even no one ever talks and said us I can't
00:53:39| wait till we get to Zetas leave what's the next one Giada which is not gonna
00:53:44| care they got to change that name before it gets a yachtie someone please change
00:53:47| the name what that sounds terrible yottabyte I
00:53:51| mean it does but are we gonna reach anytime soon in our lifetimes
00:53:56| hmm so people ask me all the time every day
00:54:02| what's wrong with big data what to do well it uses all these things to form
00:54:08| their own algorithms it forms patterns it guesstimates what's gonna happens
00:54:12| everything forever the idea is it's a future predictor ultimately correct yeah
00:54:19| and you won't have any choice and will be predicted for you interestingly
00:54:26| enough I find that big data goes the way that I predict or the way I treat on
00:54:33| sports science is also hmm support time you Corsi Corsi data yeah
00:54:40| when that person on the ice for the other person is right how many shots
00:54:43| they generate per second per get headed put Haddie anyway do it their partners
00:54:49| is on the ice difficulty of opposition like I guess it's all very good
00:54:55| information we're talking to hockey right now they do it for football the
00:54:58| PFF website does it great to do amazing job baseball does w AR wins after
00:55:06| replacement they got all different kinds of stats like it's crazy it's like this
00:55:11| is awesome great but at the same time what it boils down to is you're telling
00:55:18| us what all the information you've got gave you what all these even big data
00:55:28| gives you is past data oh let me jump in right here go ahead
00:55:33| so one of the things I've been looking at lately is uh stocks so stocks have
00:55:37| you know a man possibilities for making money yeah well historical dinner
00:55:41| none of the historical data really applies to the stocks and they have
00:55:45| these crazy things called you heard of like Candlestick symbols no friggin clue
00:55:51| what you're talking about right now it was essentially like what what the price
00:55:55| begins at what it varies and how it ends and like it's it's green or red
00:56:01| depending on what goes up or down and like the extent is
00:56:04| like the higher the low so they have certain symbols called like there's a
00:56:07| weird Japanese ones like a marabou zoo or a Yoshimi or something like that we
00:56:12| have a certain if you have a certain symbols in a row it means some things so
00:56:18| like all these people are analyzing all the big data to figure out if it's a
00:56:22| marabou zoo or if it's like like they all like you know only up it's going up
00:56:26| yeah this always means it goes off ninety seven time it goes up so they buy
00:56:30| on these crazy symbols that are all historical proofs but it doesn't mean
00:56:35| anything in the future necessarily what's interesting about what you've
00:56:42| just said is that one of the coolest thing I think of physics and science and
00:56:50| science is up you don't have to lean into them like this I loved it I loved
00:56:55| leaning in damn it one of the coolest things about science
00:56:59| is the observations and the patterns you there with all Kathryn see and break
00:57:05| down and you can see what's going on the problem is your observation actually
00:57:12| changes the physics if you're implementing the system yeah exactly
00:57:18| you looking in influences what is happening you're looking in never
00:57:24| happened before it is happening now guess what that changes the system this
00:57:29| happens especially in stocks number one in stocks think about it oh well the
00:57:34| pattern shows this this is this well let's let's let's react on this guess
00:57:41| what mother fucker someone else react to it yes or several dozen people start
00:57:48| reacting on this well guess what there's quite a beat that flush this and go to
00:57:55| this and do this and sort of subsidize this because everyone's doing this when
00:58:00| they see this and you're like oh shit way way too big of a flow diagram to
00:58:08| figure out I think exactly human nature well when that's what I find funny about
00:58:13| the people who do sports analytics on baseball or hockey or whatever it's like
00:58:17| did you know usually he does so well with his ex pitch y times that this
00:58:24| happens and this happens whoa if everyone else has his data dater about
00:58:29| as I were mister tell me the Fox line you've literally changed history the
00:58:36| person can see this now can see this new data and react to this everything's
00:58:41| different not to mention um big dater is very good
00:58:48| at predicting things except for what's called outliers which is things that are
00:58:55| so far beyond the mean that they skew the entire information center oftentimes
00:59:04| data collects most of the mean information most of the information they
00:59:09| collect this from this big cloud well it's really hard to gather all little
00:59:14| dots that appear outside outside outside farther farther away and like little dog
00:59:18| sitter because they're ridiculous it's like who does this where does that
00:59:21| that's that never happens except once that's ridiculous
00:59:25| well that stuff can happen again it can it's very what could happen again
00:59:31| and it skews the data to the point where it may change how big dater goes just an
00:59:39| interesting fact so I were you know I'm a minute it kind
00:59:45| of a stormy type in it yeah I was looking at I think this is a Vsauce
00:59:49| thing is that there's a there's a website called the library of Babel I
00:59:53| don't know if you heard of this it's every word combination that you can
00:59:58| think of already laid out so that if you type something into it it's already on
01:00:03| some page on the Internet and it exists so I'm gonna write hold on unpin this
01:00:11| already exists sucks off they're cousins farm animals go there's no way that's
01:00:18| there so so what is it cousins the on panderers sucks all their cousins farm
01:00:24| animals there's no way in hell at grill o me see
01:00:30| it me see I don't know it does mean multiple options here so the goodies
01:00:32| give me a second I think it for though London panderer sucks off their cousins
01:00:37| farm animals written on page 372 of 410 of man it has like a ridiculous number
01:00:46| but it's in here it is literally written in here it's written it's gotten every
01:00:51| sentence known to man and every combination so you can you can search
01:00:55| for whatever you're looking for and it will tell you like it's almost like a QR
01:01:00| code and then the page so it has every combination of letter yeah and that that
01:01:07| was on BB v RR v u x NT page 374 huh yeah that's great alright I that's just
01:01:22| amazing that like you know data can consume every possibility it's just like
01:01:28| a matter of time before you hit that possibility but what's the use of all
01:01:37| the possibilities that don't get hit does that make sense
01:01:40| if you could lay something out in a mathematical scheme then it could could
01:01:44| I have added brothers into that sense my cousins brothers and farm animals sex
01:01:49| whatever that was sure what yeah it's gonna be I don't know and it'll probably
01:01:53| be a hit because they probably did that but what's the point of having the
01:01:57| brothers one if I didn't bring that up today if the library if the library is
01:02:01| defined by mathematical formula and the formula is less than a page long so if
01:02:06| you send that to somebody say there are aliens on another planet and then you
01:02:10| reference what that is then they can decode what you said and they can see
01:02:15| they can figure out the the under patent and or suck off their cousins farm
01:02:19| animals really reality that's gets transmitted to the universe so that
01:02:32| aliens are like we're looking for the unmanned doors here
01:02:35| we've got some barman guys farm animals here that needs sucking on yeah we've
01:02:40| been waiting we travel into light years but that's
01:02:46| the whole point is that you can interesting things this might lead to my
01:02:51| next problem so big day that makes a lot of mistakes
01:02:54| Oh does it oh it does um there's a simple book called anatomy of a fly
01:03:01| something of a fly something allotted by our bio majors by um they look up this
01:03:06| book I it might be fly instincts you'll I can't remember did Cameron Wright fly
01:03:12| an enemy no no no no well Amazon would create its own algorithms to price these
01:03:19| things really Luke was 35:54 right he had to buy it for school
01:03:26| whatever fly in the room anatomy talk taking root of to fly you could probably
01:03:33| find this online because anyway this is a famous case yeah uh the book was to
01:03:38| $35 on 54 cents uh-huh hold one algorithm screwed up and they ended up
01:03:43| selling it for twenty three million six hundred and ninety thousand six hundred
01:03:47| fifty five dollars if you wanted it fantastic do they sell any I believe no
01:03:53| no no one's Amazon card is a proof of that much which is a real problem I wish
01:03:58| it was you think the limitations would say you couldn't do you couldn't price
01:04:03| it beyond what you would have been thanked but it apparently there were two
01:04:08| competing bookstores that were always selling and one always said sell at
01:04:18| what happened is I think the other yes so hold on is this also injuring because
01:04:27| remember Keep Calm and chive on oh yeah so you know they make a million shirts
01:04:32| with like whatever keep drive they use talking huge offi keep calm and come on
01:04:38| like have sex with whatever lee well an algorithm made just random generic keep
01:04:44| calm and blank on jerk Oh I love though everyone lost their shit
01:04:50| what keep calm and rape on a real popular shirt they were like and they
01:04:58| were like asking Amazon they were asking ever all these people they're like no
01:05:02| one made it it just it just generated itself and they're like now greatly
01:05:07| generated itself and they were like well it was random word association and
01:05:11| eventually that's a hot-button word eventually rape showed up and they were
01:05:15| like see you were selling rape shirts and they were like we didn't sell
01:05:19| anything but we just made a profit off of it right right so big data it does
01:05:26| that with on YouTube videos as your kid watch YouTube or now
01:05:30| oh my god he has a tablet now he got one for Christmas yeah he's had it all of
01:05:34| maybe about a week and I find him going into like Russian stuff like so he'll
01:05:39| know different language is she careful what they're wrong yeah like it's weird
01:05:43| no jobs harmless and it's like who cares like but it's funny because um these
01:05:50| algorithms that people make on youtube.com or whatever the hell it is
01:05:55| trying to figure out where searching or what you want to see it's user right
01:05:59| yeah well they will include a big hit is a child song spider-man Elsa from frozen
01:06:06| it'll name like three or four or five things yeah and they just combined them
01:06:10| into this nonsensical formula and the computer does the rest it makes like a
01:06:14| five minute video where they sing yeah who's the finger daddy finger or like
01:06:20| they did make a song that's popular among kids
01:06:23| uh-huh and then that's the whole video yeah I figure it'll get so many hits
01:06:27| that they make money over to I'd the daddy finger one I've seen I sure the
01:06:32| one that freaked me out the most is that he went to some Russian one that was
01:06:36| talking about colors and it was he with their coloring eggs but it was like it
01:06:41| even though the text was in Russian it would say the color but it would say it
01:06:45| like a whisper yeah so it'd be like and I'd be like I can't even hear what the
01:06:50| hell they're saying but that's the only word they're saying it's like it's it's
01:06:54| computer automated keep your eye on what he's saying yeah
01:06:58| most people think it's like some evil conspiracy where they're like inserting
01:07:02| stuff to pervert our kids like sex with animals like whatever like just a weird
01:07:07| stops messily mine turns out is it's mostly big data saying
01:07:11| you know XYZ make a profit just combine them all XYZ l j k l four seven and it's
01:07:21| never been done before it gets but check it out
01:07:23| kids will click on it and half the time our kids do no it's almost like the the
01:07:29| computer-generated harry potter they made a chapter and it like it's
01:07:35| almost it's understandable yeah relax about weird stuff and then there's some
01:07:40| strange things in it and it almost sounds like it was written by human and
01:07:46| we're getting really close to like having AI just generate stuff for us
01:07:50| well here's the thing I will say to sum it up because this is as far as we're
01:07:55| gonna go we're not gonna get any further we've reached our time limit but I what
01:07:59| I will say is the computers do pretty good at mimicking mimicking the average
01:08:08| yeah like people are always talking abut computers are gonna do music man don't
01:08:14| do the top 40 song like check this we got a random AI we gave it controls we
01:08:20| were like yo make a song as top 40 and click the link I'm like oh shit robots
01:08:26| made music robots made music and I'll listen it's the most generic boring ass
01:08:30| off a song and like really I wouldn't like it
01:08:33| lera and I'm not an average person like I don't like top 40 I like weird as hell
01:08:39| stuff and I'm always like good job robot you made an awful song like dude I mean
01:08:44| like there's a little bit of me that smiles that part of me is still an a
01:08:47| liar and I think as long as humans are alive there will be outliers so machines
01:08:54| will never be able to do everything even when they do something perfectly it's
01:08:59| not perfect you follow me oh yeah so that when they make a top 40 song that's
01:09:05| like this is this includes all the things humans love a sick beat a 4/4
01:09:11| syncopation lyrics that include dancing and life and my parents don't understand
01:09:17| and it's like all these things and like that people run out and just play it and
01:09:21| it's like pretty good and you're like that's pretty good for fourteen-year-old
01:09:24| girl and they're like this is the most advanced robot in the world really being
01:09:30| nice cause a girl for teen girls old hmm like there will always be yeah there's a
01:09:38| separation in there they're just like right like I respect that they're doing
01:09:43| good and getting better and showing promise but I don't think he'll ever
01:09:49| catch up yeah humans put in stuff that dump doesn't make any sense
01:09:55| like the like listening a collective soul and they do like a and it's just
01:10:00| like they're like why do you hear honey on panders yeah collect it so little bit
01:10:06| followers of the show I don't know why they put that in there but it's so
01:10:10| catchy that it a robot will never figure that out I don't see how a robot would
01:10:14| say like oh I'm gonna I'm gonna mimic human vocal cords to make noises that a
01:10:19| human would like it's like you don't know there's no way and again this goes
01:10:23| back to what I said about sports science whatever and all that big data all this
01:10:27| information is all of our history up till now what happens after the now we
01:10:37| change is almost never a hundred percent history repeated it's always different
01:10:42| isn't it next up war or no even that war changes I mean because of war logically
01:10:50| advance but I mean you could tweet a war happens and it would happen right Donald
01:10:54| take a push the buttons there's the button push that big that button Donny
01:10:59| anyway um folks at home we want you to push that like we didn't even go over
01:11:07| next router you done for the day are you done or cooked
01:11:13| I gotta go shovel the snow off your driveway
01:11:16| done I don't care about Mandy trolley hey come back for comment or a deep
01:11:23| pedido the GA Pangea pie mother effer wasn't FCC
01:11:30| chairman do you want to hit that cuz i it's real quick it's 32 seconds long 30
01:11:44| seconds small oh hold on for Collins Colorado
01:12:11| Wow hold on so net in honor of net neutrality
01:12:17| because apparently everywhere you look on the Internet I know this sounds crazy
01:12:21| they're against net neutrality what are you talking about I know what works what
01:12:27| are you reading oh and therefore net neutrality yeah
01:12:31| long term but but I think it's hilarious that everywhere you look on the internet
01:12:35| therefore net oh yeah it's you they are but of course they are cuz it's the Navy
01:12:41| and look cuz people have no idea what it means really when you talk to normal
01:12:45| people they're like what why is this bad I was like touching now and Marshall I
01:12:49| just showed was released by people who were against net neutrality no shit cuz
01:12:55| they're probably like Comcast that's what a billion dollars invested exactly
01:12:59| it's funded by Comcast I believe it's called priorities first we shouldn't
01:13:05| worry about the internet Fridays first here yeah someone says quote unquote in
01:13:11| the emphasis in this 30-second clip you just saw my electric bills could go up I
01:13:16| don't want that which it's not based on any truth it's people were like we got
01:13:22| schools to work man generic thing I've heard and then there's a scene where
01:13:31| like cast is Travis there's like wait there's eight cars sitting in traffic
01:13:38| now do you know my way yeah they're like you don't want the Internet to be like
01:13:42| this or something and it's like oh the scariest thing is that all the people
01:13:50| who own a bath way they also they turned off their like dislike me neuron
01:13:56| comments are disabled the funniest damn video on the Internet
01:14:02| quick shout-out I wrote down the name if you want to go there dude I would
01:14:07| comment on their actual homepage people are commenting off it's really funny
01:14:12| what disgusted me was a literally the other day I was looking at eighties
01:14:17| website because I was gonna change my service and then I was sitting and
01:14:21| waiting for the website to load the provider that I was paying for and I was
01:14:27| just like you don't even have like an unlimited access to yourself like you're
01:14:31| gonna you're gonna be control of everyone's internet and just screw it up
01:14:35| for everybody and people don't understand the net
01:14:38| neutrality is more about restricting pathways and then making you pay like
01:14:43| it's gonna make the consumer pay to get to all these different areas of the web
01:14:47| right like they're saying um you know you have to pay to having YouTube pay to
01:14:52| Twitter pay to this pay to this it's read everywhere I looked on the internet
01:14:57| and then this is not a knock on the internet so much it's just like this
01:15:02| common knowledge net neutrality is we need it it means that everyone who has a
01:15:08| website who has you can internet and then I missed a poor exactly it
01:15:14| basically says Internet is a human right and that we need it and then it
01:15:19| shouldn't be throttled charged extra to go to certain websites versus others and
01:15:25| that certain services whether it be Netflix or YouTube or whatever should be
01:15:32| throttled law so they like what they can't stop us from going there because
01:15:35| like oh that's not part of our package we don't own it from the package an I'm
01:15:39| an Internet service provider that's not what we do we don't we do everything but
01:15:43| YouTube and Netflix excuse me the thing that drives me the most crazy is well
01:15:49| there's two things is it a chip pie and the guy who's the
01:15:51| FCC Chairman he makes jokes about the stuff and he's being paid off by Verizon
01:15:56| and Comcast and it's literally becoming that a murmuration no well yeah he
01:16:03| himself is a meme but the corporation's of America are owning our politicians
01:16:07| they're making the choices for everyone it's just uh it's terrible listen um
01:16:17| it took me a while to find these three bars uh-huh
01:16:23| it was on arguments against net neutrality like in favor of home what am
01:16:29| i against I'm curious it took me a while because I I was googling this and it was
01:16:34| all these things that weren't really against it I was like well yeah these
01:16:37| make sense but I'm looking for I'm looking for the augur the only thing
01:16:40| I've heard is like infrastructure like it will allow us to build more
01:16:44| infrastructure which which is untrue I've read that they were given money to
01:16:49| build infrastructure and they haven't like they've given like half a billion
01:16:53| dollars to do it or maybe even like half a trillion dollars to build
01:16:56| infrastructure and they never did it deprives them deprives us of choices and
01:17:05| it lets the government control the internet the big bad guys why is this
01:17:10| she has the problem is there's so many permutations of bullshit out there that
01:17:14| people are like I'm confused I don't know how to vote right and and the
01:17:18| confusing nature of the net neutrality work for not against yeah like they
01:17:24| named the act that killed net neutrality the Internet Freedom Act or something
01:17:29| right it's all about wording freedom yeah it's like yeah it's like support
01:17:36| net neutrality let's vote for the rape babies Act it's like that what what how
01:17:40| is that you saw the bitches well it's not I hate this is gonna
01:17:48| change the world do you think it's gonna keep going or
01:17:53| you think it'll eventually get stopped or whatever I think every democratic
01:17:57| government uh democratic government that gets put in place and the next leader
01:18:01| will probably say net neutrality is back on because it's a democratic
01:18:05| thing the rubble Republicans are just trying to suck money out of it so it's
01:18:08| like Trump doesn't he has not to it we started this I guess six to eight months
01:18:15| ago saying we really wanted to stay out of politics
01:18:18| yeah and we're try not feeling either side or the other but would you say the
01:18:23| people that have the least sex with with their partner is Republicans they're
01:18:29| more about the other issues I'd like to focus on the other issues here
01:18:34| Anthony is Anthony Weiner's a democratic or a Republican
01:18:38| he's Republican he was part of the net neutrality thing he he definitely wasn't
01:18:42| having sex with his partner then well to find his partner yeah anyway his
01:18:49| partners his penis why sorry I got off-track cuz I got emotion doesn't
01:18:57| matter we're good yeah Dan's emotional every time we talk about wieners but
01:19:01| anyway we're gonna call it a night we are I feel like there's something else
01:19:07| with net neutrality there oh we could go and that's probably more a new tire
01:19:11| you're gonna shovel some snow it's novel show
01:19:17| so anyway folks we're glad you tuned in tonight
01:19:22| friggin glad you listened or whatever I hate yeah thanks for long if you've made
01:19:28| it this far most of our listeners don't was here free till then we get this far
01:19:37| I think we're friggin glad you folks we glad you Oh Mike yeah oh we like you we
01:19:42| like you have a good night and support what doesn't exist anymore which is net
01:19:51| neutrality Oh ouch
00:00:08| unlikely duo we just we're here we're there we just do it we're just II were
00:00:14| the unn panderer I'm Candice I actually wrote a summary
00:00:23| for us today summary of what your daily activities know what we do
00:00:28| oh ok this episode will this show this everything we do it's like we're old
00:00:33| lovers who grew apart but then came back together but they recently switched
00:00:41| genders but I was the man and you were the woman no you're the woman man anyway
00:00:50| it's really awkward it's like it's like we used to be lovers only now I don't
00:00:54| even know once you throw something away you can't go through the trash to pull
00:00:58| it back out never the same but don't you try the spaghetti sauce you just smear
00:01:06| to the side a little bit mmm Betty sauce makes it nice alright so
00:01:11| getting any bloating liquor because this is a 21 or older podcast and an older
00:01:17| podcast everything we say can't be used against us who cares and wall does more
00:01:20| wall sue us everything's fake to the sunrise ha check the transcript you're
00:01:27| not allowed to do anything we don't want you to exactly disseminate ya not ready
00:01:33| to go we're ready to go opinions just begun I'm pretty relaxed yeah what get
00:01:41| anything fresh or topical anything new you got going on and nothing real
00:01:46| yeah no no nothing new I don't have a topical section anymore our whole
00:01:50| podcast is topical in my heart although this track see what the topical
00:01:59| anaesthetics DEET is it's a real question I have no identity to the 4th
00:02:03| is a force like there's nothing special about the first met Nick don't you
00:02:10| remember you slam into a locker don't you reaming
00:02:16| anyway it's a very famous day for workout gear because people are getting
00:02:21| back in shape you know Aleutians I guess but my boobs have grown in I probably
00:02:28| gain like 15 pounds since his podcast started it's like an A and a half cup it
00:02:33| is I'm used to being a below a cup and I'm wearing this to remind myself
00:02:39| workout soon double a yeah I thought it was gonna
00:02:43| start working out the first but I had alcohol poisoning we'll get into that
00:02:46| then I thought I was gonna work out the second but it was freezing cold then
00:02:50| there was the past couple days I've been busy mm-hmm
00:02:53| and I was honestly so I have been looking on Reddit and stuff and people
00:02:58| who lose weight gain weight lose weight gain link that's what I do yeah it's
00:03:01| like like a most them yes most of them tend to lose the weight towards the
00:03:06| warmer sunnier weather oh so you're gonna hold off until you get closer to
00:03:10| summer no no that's just it's literally what I do I can't even fight it like I
00:03:15| tend to get fatter around October and I go into it I always curl my hair out I
00:03:19| grow a beard I don't know what it is and then around March April I actually start
00:03:24| running again and I lose weight and in seconds every year it's like I'm some
00:03:27| sort of animal that can't break the cycle that's so odd what's odd is that I
00:03:32| did last night because it's very isn't that natural like um depression like
00:03:37| light makes you happier move more um her weather also affective disorder or
00:03:43| whatever yeah I say dmg like ten hundred percent sure I have that furrow the part
00:03:49| that's odd is that I've been losing weight during the winter well you're now
00:03:53| reverse sad yeah and I'm not exercise would you call it month um hepatitis
00:03:59| appetite protection pretension oh we call it
00:04:03| happy it's reverse sad its programming for like hours on end with that eating
00:04:08| I'm hungry and I'm just laying now nobody I don't need you
00:04:11| Thursday you'll wither away my brain will survive I'll be that little kawatte
00:04:16| too from Total Recall be a bright my own horse ode we wither away into a
00:04:27| tiny frail body things a little no I'm just programming on a keyboard good for
00:04:34| you yeah it'll be a step up then like Dennis
00:04:44| Quaid or somebody who's the stomach the guy it's like a generic guy he must have
00:04:48| passed away you don't see him anymore that actor yeah I think it's a it's a
00:04:51| generic one but it's one that was up Quaid in that movie or someone Oh his
00:04:56| name's Quaid Jesus is it me oh no wait you think this is the real Quaid oh it
00:05:04| is shut up Arnold he I follow him on snapchat I think he started checking out
00:05:16| the podcast I can't prove it got some hits from California and mmm a dog
00:05:22| checking out the on panders suite Thank You Arnold so awesome just saying it's
00:05:28| fantastic finally we're getting the ball rolling we're up to nine subscribe Rupp
00:05:34| to Corrections and think it may want to reacts from last time well I would like
00:05:40| to throw out a tongue twister actually you have one yeah I'll say oh really
00:05:49| I am I taking this from you let's see how good it is let's wait well it's two
00:05:54| two words two simple words like boil boil your owl oilier owl like a more
00:06:04| oily out yes it's a two word version yet a more oily out an oilier owl an oilier
00:06:11| owl an oilier owl an oilier owl an oilier out an oilier house yeah think
00:06:17| about it yeah I could feel how hard you're thinking about it dude pretend I
00:06:23| was starting to do them words - I was I was starting nine words my think it's in
00:06:30| your head anyway I but I did pretty good uh-huh considering that was a
00:06:34| that's a good I was gonna throw in an oligarchy in there too just to throw
00:06:39| really al it doesn't it doesn't make sense but Sally's shoe shells by the
00:06:47| seashore I guess that doesn't make sense it's
00:06:50| still the surly seaman started secretly for the end of that well you can figure
00:06:59| that one out you can get the backpack me Wendy if we
00:07:02| could figure out you know anything new like I hate my family oh I don't I
00:07:09| didn't have to see my family for this uh this this holiday I we just relaxed Oh
00:07:13| Joe immediate like you know immediate family no direct family yeah you just
00:07:23| want to be left alone but they say you got to change their diaper and you guys
00:07:27| that's just your age to do that yeah are your sons bitchin
00:07:33| he's bitching he's crying which one he sees us in the future I love you I love
00:07:41| little man but you're crying like a bitch today
00:07:43| I don't but you're not money selling my son if you're watching Jesus Christ I
00:07:47| love you okay Oh Dan son let's not get crazy here hmm
00:07:53| I mean I might did we what if I married your son in the future
00:08:01| turns out everyone's gates your 2034 I've chosen a younger I'm going through
00:08:07| so many areas in my head and none of them turned out good it's like I've run
00:08:11| through like 98 scenarios and they're all terrible they've all failed well
00:08:16| listen the father of the bride has to pay for the wedding you're saying that
00:08:23| I'm older yeah yeah older he's gonna be manlier than you good-looking but I
00:08:42| meant like like a fine one yeah thank you
00:08:47| he's good respond along today yep all right just so my correction I really did
00:08:52| want to drop this real quick in a previous episode I mentioned that
00:08:57| Mountain Dew caused a lower sperm count that's the most ridiculous thing it
00:09:03| started back in the 80s 90s I don't know what it was it's very urban based I
00:09:08| think it started in the inner cities it's not true breaking into a dental lab
00:09:13| and shooting x-rays into your crotch over and over and over after a night of
00:09:19| heavy drinking and laughing with your friends and catch it all on your cell
00:09:23| phones that will lower your sperm count so I'm just worried to clarify so if
00:09:29| you're lowered enough or you you're good right you don't need a condom I think I
00:09:36| think that's how it works right I just mean like you know a little
00:09:41| sideways they're not gonna make it they swim below okay yeah they swim more
00:09:51| I figure if he gets like really screwed up then it could like latch onto the
00:09:55| back of a one healthy one and then they battle one gets in oh yeah yeah he
00:10:03| strangles them right as he gets to the I want to say corona of the egg but that's
00:10:07| probably not right as one sperm just any kills the other way I'm not even kidding
00:10:20| I would probably legit watch like a planet Earth documentary that was an
00:10:25| hour long and it was just a sperms journey to the egg
00:10:28| it's like survivor I think it's also like a space like sci-fi type thing like
00:10:34| do you think cuz how bigger the sperm compared to the egg it's like it's maxi
00:10:39| it'll be like us running into like I don't know the City of Compton Chicago I
00:10:51| would pick the c-word wait would it be that big it's not that big right a
00:10:55| little smaller now what this up right now cuz I feel like
00:10:58| it's I probably like I feel like how cool would it be when there's like
00:11:03| hundreds and thousands of other sperms like breathing heavy I know that I'm
00:11:07| brave every really cool and just like in slow-mo like swimming to your left and
00:11:12| to your right and you're cresting this Ridge and you just see it and it's like
00:11:18| they came upon it suddenly it's like Morgan Freeman's voice he's like they
00:11:22| came and they saw the Holy Grail and it's like they're still swimming in
00:11:27| slow-mo like I think you can you can break that down like 10 minutes for me
00:11:32| get some really good lighting effects and like super HD
00:11:36| yeses to them though yeah I was about ease you control squiggly faces on them
00:11:42| our bio teacher did write a happy sperm I think he did is our sad spot I mean
00:11:53| for a few minutes anyway hey I'm just saying this hold up they can last in
00:12:00| your body for like two days yeah it's 48 hours that's something I
00:12:06| didn't look up but that's that's way there you go son great good on you yeah
00:12:12| I timed it 46 hours I tried he's that he's a 50-hour his
00:12:21| carrier is a marathoner Oh scratching your eye on a podcast bride
00:12:28| bad yeah Oh felt weak you're right either way oh like a live again for the
00:12:36| first time in my life I did I do have a topical thing that I've been watching
00:12:41| black mirror cuz that released on Netflix uh used to talk to me about
00:12:45| black mirror a long time ago I still haven't seen one episode and I'm like
00:12:48| can operate the person does it season three or I think it's been worn out
00:12:53| everyone talks about it and it's about technology as bad and a black mirror is
00:12:58| a device turned off obviously hmm I mean I realize that just talking about the
00:13:05| name and the the fact that every episode apparently has technology being bad I
00:13:09| didn't see it I have never I always took it as like Blackmore like
00:13:12| you're trying to look at something and it's supposed to reflect to you but it
00:13:15| does well I get twists but it that's what an of a thing all does doesn't it
00:13:21| I suppose explain you living it it's a four-eyed thing which you made so it is
00:13:26| a mirror I don't know whatever I don't watch a goddamn show anybody how long
00:13:32| which episode did you watch because I know they have names I see them floating
00:13:36| around the ethers I will say that the first season was soso but the one
00:13:42| episode of just watched again the four seasons were four so it's brand-new
00:13:47| brand-new episodes so this is a spoiler alert if you're not on to like the film
00:13:52| please like as poodles blow no no it's a little bit ok ok little it's like a
00:13:56| fraction of an episode in one of the episodes they download someone's
00:14:00| conscious consciousness conscious I can't say it into sounds like an episode
00:14:06| of The Young Panthers I'm telling you as well we're screwed so it's right into
00:14:11| someone else's brain so you can't turn them off and you just constantly hear
00:14:15| your wife telling you what you did wrong yeah that's exactly like the moment you
00:14:23| realized that this is not a good idea she won't shut up she keeps commenting
00:14:27| she won't stop does someone else's consciousness control you at or just
00:14:31| comments our hear them constantly I'm gonna do stuff they hate uh-huh are you
00:14:40| gonna crap that ugly Weiner yours and pull it and pull it I am now you know I
00:14:46| mean like just whatever just yeah just stuff it can't believe it huh can't
00:14:56| believe she said that I hate my girl beautiful it's because I think don't
00:15:03| worry about a diversion we weren't too far your relationship is gorgeous it
00:15:07| sure is oh crap I caught myself looking at myself and now you're stuck no no no
00:15:16| whoa I am so I'll tell the podcast I'm trying to stop this this is a behavior
00:15:22| pattern of mine that it knows since I grew long hair and notices oh yeah when
00:15:28| I um tend to get drunk --is-- stop trying to one-up me you're not gonna
00:15:33| well I know what you're about to say though I touch my hair when I get really
00:15:37| drunk yeah whenever you're attracted to somebody no
00:15:40| Jesus I'm saying when I am when the drinks I'm drinking start flowing
00:15:46| through me the more drink I am the more I end up touching my hair I'm like oh
00:15:51| man whoa you're like you'll see me in some episode so I'm like this is insane
00:15:57| and now I look back and I'm like hmm that's a lot of hair hair on hair on
00:16:05| Tinian action yeah mm-hmm you do have nice hair I'm like thank you it's pretty
00:16:15| good no I it's good listen Mike I'll take it
00:16:26| in I'll take it in mine's almost like hockey mullet like it's getting good
00:16:32| it's getting there yeah he'll be good but playoffs it's a
00:16:38| shame the Flyers won't be there they seemed in the beginning but they faded
00:16:42| I actually don't watch them anymore oh I do look at the highlights all the time
00:16:50| and read their tweets from the people hey we're not gonna get it um were the
00:16:56| day I'm gonna do it for y'all hmm do you skip a section you will then go back
00:17:02| I'll let you go which section would that be Jesus Christ usually we do you can do
00:17:13| word of the day go ahead go ahead tower did all folks
00:17:18| tarah diddle yeah Tara diddle little paradiddle can you use it in a sentence
00:17:23| please I was hanging with my homies I did a
00:17:28| little paradiddle they didn't care because they know it was very little
00:17:33| it's a fib or a lie that's like pretentious nonsense kind of
00:17:39| like how the Joker is like Batman's the Joker in comics not like Heath Ledger's
00:17:44| the Joker that was a little darker you know Terra diddle interesting I do like
00:17:50| it I do like I had to look it up because I didn't believe it
00:17:52| have you sick at like the images I'm curious what you get The Joker shop
00:17:58| that'll be cool no it's a picture of a dinosaur holding a briefcase
00:18:03| it's a Terran Doodle that's a terrible Viper
00:18:06| yeah it's an only to work son dad be extinct forever going to work son
00:18:13| nobody great move you know I had a word - mm-hmm I don't know how to pronounce
00:18:19| it cuz I've only read it an old old itch which you ll AG it's the amount by which
00:18:30| a container falls short of being full was the remainder I imagine that's
00:18:41| always Coolidge it just sounds more Oh German or
00:18:48| something I don't know but it sounds illage maybe how much ollege is left oh
00:18:53| really you mean Oh Cap'n you can be all those
00:18:56| people like you need something act on a halogen bulb a CH you need to be filled
00:19:05| oh cool this much this much in the corner fat guy try and turn around
00:19:16| interesting I like that word just seems it just stands out whenever right okay
00:19:21| yeah it just pops right in there I mean it's definitely unique just one segment
00:19:29| we do every week that people talk about enough people will literally disrupt me
00:19:39| they'll cut themselves with their keys at weird spots and just start screaming
00:19:44| and then everyone turn look what's going on and the other people start cutting
00:19:53| themselves and they're screaming next thing you know the entire bank line is
00:19:57| filled with people caught in themselves people screaming Sookie are you guys
00:20:00| looking over he's screaming now someone else walks in the clerk is
00:20:05| screaming and the bank hits the emergency alarm and I say guys I'd like
00:20:10| to make it deposit just celebrity challenge man I love
00:20:23| I do enjoy them no challenges hmm come on get it up who might be the focus I
00:20:31| don't know Wow David Spade and David Schwimmer ha ha at the Chocobo Ruiz taco
00:20:40| taco bell talk about vanity all right team what that is explain to our viewers
00:20:47| what that is so you they will know if you've ever played final fantasy run
00:20:52| several hours as you all know Final Fantasy seven stops counting at ninety
00:20:58| nine hours in 99 minutes and 99 seconds we all know I know yeah yeah I knew that
00:21:05| one a couple gold choco bows not one two anyway a choco bow is something like a
00:21:13| cross between an ostrich a chicken and a horse it's an adorable creature and they
00:21:19| can walk over certain green ones can walk over land blue ones can walk over
00:21:25| wood gold ones can walk over whatever the f-bomb they wanna you have to race
00:21:32| them and breed them and give them the right Leafs get their attributes up
00:21:38| anyway I think be how do you talk about always talking about how they play
00:21:45| fantasy games and I feel like at please file fancy everyone loves tacos
00:21:51| let's go full-bore and do this for charity so if you gotta face each other
00:21:58| in a race running and pick which I fancy or did rickety a little bit yeah there
00:22:05| you go whoever wins will donate the proceeds to
00:22:12| whatever charity they want I don't care what charity I don't really care how
00:22:16| expensive it is as long as it's under cha cha Cobo I say it I mean because I J
00:22:29| or a CH or uh ch ch kebab shockable did you Jack a
00:22:36| boat I don't know some Italian guy pops out I saw a screen full at time and I'm
00:22:43| just like man guy to the finish oh man okay that's embarrassing
00:22:50| oh they held lineage like we're up to like 13 or so many freaking job you tell
00:22:55| you I hear the chocolate ja close that's weird and I played that game I don't
00:23:01| remember that at all I'd I remember in the movie though the preview to the
00:23:06| movie that I've never watched the one with all that like they they always
00:23:13| talked about the hair like the hair was so graphically generated and beautiful
00:23:17| that it took months to generate how it looked
00:23:21| [Music] is the hair and just like you had like
00:23:26| one guy that's just like and that scene took like 15 maybe 16 days Oh what took
00:23:34| me two seconds to do fantastic I wanted to interject another well good
00:23:41| because I hit the next thing I wanted to mention it's a product product but it's
00:23:45| not a big deal okay actually here he's pretty big with this
00:23:48| is they're tied together do you want to throwback Thursday and
00:23:51| it's Thursday and I'd like to throw back okay throw back your throw back let's
00:23:56| sit you oh I'll go first here listen to go do you remember when you used to go
00:24:01| to parties that like um mostly white women wearing like heels and like red
00:24:06| heels and like housewives they didn't even have lives in the 70s and 80s they
00:24:10| would just stay at the house and fix things in the house
00:24:12| they're the ones who bought microwaves they're the ones who thought vacuum
00:24:17| cleaners would change the world they're the ones who would make fruitcakes and
00:24:22| like weird pies and like jell-o molds like they would always do new stuff
00:24:27| because they were going insane living at home doing nothing yeah darn out their
00:24:33| minds right so they did crazy stuff does anyone remember lemon pigs come on lemon
00:24:41| pigs Lenin pigs so you go to a party they'd have a lemon you cut the mouth
00:24:47| you'd put clothes for the eyes yeah toothpick feet yeah let them take anyway
00:24:58| stuff like that it didn't lemon pig was just one example but like creme general
00:25:03| like a craft night or just just whatever they would do whenever I'm just
00:25:09| remembering all the old school things I came upon a lemon pig recipe etc
00:25:14| recently but but just they used to do so many crazy house eat things but didn't
00:25:20| even make sense oh this guy typing in Lenin paper check it out check it out
00:25:24| wow that's yeah it's actually better than I thought I would look no right
00:25:30| which does that one have a coiner now coin oh no it doesn't that's a New
00:25:38| Year's lemon pick I got it I got it even though I'm too deep
00:25:48| real quick before you even get your throw back in mm-hmm I do want to do my
00:25:52| product load sure I've been following this product on this crazy ride since
00:26:06| little better because this is an emotional bitcoin hmm this one's a
00:26:10| Twitter account called at molten funk check it out everyone I know you're
00:26:17| saying to myself that's me that's Nick that why is he plugging himself I'm not
00:26:22| just plugging myself this is a real Twitter account that affects me on the
00:26:28| day-to-day um recently he released one of his more
00:26:31| popular tweets on New Year's Day it was I hated I don't curse
00:26:37| online but it's effin lemon pig up in here I posted his own lemon Pig Wow and
00:26:45| it's pretty good right oh yeah well let's see what kind of stats this guy
00:26:50| guy like is the famous Twitter account I don't know how many people saw the lemon
00:26:55| Pig thirty five thousand seven hundred ninety-eight how many people clicked on
00:27:00| the picture 1912 not as many but you know ah
00:27:04| we have link links 269 Holy Smoke ten safety net how many likes 211 how many
00:27:13| retweets thirty-seven oh this guy it seems like he's pretty legit so I did a
00:27:22| little background work I looked up molten funk I've been following for
00:27:25| years guys funny as hell I actually got a hold of picture right here what the
00:27:35| hell would you copy one online or is that the one no let me see the tail I
00:27:40| only see that did you have a tail and then oh it's the same one oh holy shit
00:27:47| wait click on link Oh lemon big Twitter that's exactly what I'm looking at right
00:27:54| now you're at you top Google oh this is now at 70s party wrong one
00:28:01| you copied this well I mean I use their formula wait wait wait it was at
00:28:07| seventies party yep that's whose thing I copied and pasted
00:28:12| and that's where I got all these hits yes I said a small world Wow
00:28:18| anyway I'm gonna tell you folks 11 pigs moles bunk lemon babe it's a new fad
00:28:28| begin the fat again yes I'm doing here something really funny Wow I mean so I
00:28:33| was getting like my phone was blowing up like I was getting all these no to kick
00:28:37| notifications cuz no one thinks I'm very funny on the internet and ha ha ha ha
00:28:41| perfectly when I made 11 Piggy's a joke for my goddamn son
00:28:44| uh-huh oh my phone was blowing up and I was like everyone loves 11th a get
00:28:49| everyone cuz like I don't care what do you talking about I was like that's all
00:28:53| and then my son started playing with it they're like he loves it and I'm like ok
00:28:57| he's like lemon pig smell this and he would smell the hand i neva smelling the
00:29:01| bacon and all like this is ridiculous it's like I'm in a movie house it's my
00:29:06| son pretending lemon pig is smelling the things that are made of pig so I told
00:29:12| everyone at the party we should all make a lemon pig and I mean like 6 long it
00:29:16| takes there's like six 11 things up there
00:29:17| this is the original is the good one but now that makes me that story makes me
00:29:22| feel real good I don't know what it is but it's like the lemon scent of lemon
00:29:27| just leaves my brain my most famous thing I've done on the internet now is
00:29:32| lemon pig oh yeah it's not it's not that famous but its more famous anything else
00:29:37| I've written and it's almost like I'm ashamed of it but I'm like well lemon do
00:29:42| a happy homemaker I guess you know I was making it as a joke I guess whatever you
00:29:48| know what you have to do maybe I can't make it no lemon pig it's not gonna get
00:29:52| any hits like uh-huh well I don't know well we have a new segment so the
00:29:56| segment includes either one of the three and says there's something awesome you
00:29:59| saw something is just daily annoyingness mm-hmm or the reddit repost which you
00:30:06| could post on reddit as the lemon pig and I guarantee someone will either hate
00:30:11| it immensely or love it
00:30:14| here's the issue see this coin mm-hm it's a good luck thing you do it on New
00:30:20| Year's Eve or New Year Day so good luck for the year opportunity every days well
00:30:25| I mean I did the Twitter opportunity I was tweet that's probably why it took
00:30:28| off on Twitter why don't you make it a nickel and just say it's like a four
00:30:31| days later for every January or the I said piece Lennon pig it doesn't have
00:30:40| the same ring but I hear you oh you keep going though I mean there's pieces right
00:30:46| so I had one reddit hit - this happened like four weeks ago is my handsome son
00:30:51| leaning on right I am so I edited the post as you all know on reddit you can
00:30:56| edit a post I had something like you know hundred bullshit on you promoting
00:31:01| whatever yeah also if you guys are bored check out the UM panders whatever and
00:31:07| the funniest thing is like five minutes later a response like lol nah that's
00:31:14| rude you don't know if this is a great channel or not internet trolls I posted
00:31:20| two questions to Reddit what was like isn't it you know the funny thing is
00:31:25| like it was a snack reddit so I posted like what's the one thing that you would
00:31:30| like to disprove like the people who say they have like oh they made so much
00:31:34| money here or they tell you a story that's completely outlandish well
00:31:38| Christianity no I was just like what's on reddit that you want to disprove so I
00:31:44| posted that when I um - today's reddit no that was yesterday
00:31:50| it may I'm sure of my today feed I didn't read all but anyway I saw the
00:31:54| headline I think yeah yeah I think I saw the headline huh maybe it's popular now
00:31:59| you check it out but the first thing that happened is I got downloads good
00:32:02| the first thing that happened I got down voted I had zero likes right away yeah
00:32:09| there must be a bot out there that's just like we don't want to hear your
00:32:12| topic like they're just trying to promote something
00:32:15| everything's a group a cult you know I mean look if you didn't put your time in
00:32:19| like this guy show up from where he's got like 5 posts f-1 what's happen I
00:32:24| think when people look back at this time like from to that
00:32:27| fifteen - like 2020 they're gonna say it's like the the half decade of the bot
00:32:32| like they're gonna find out that like everything that's controlled is now
00:32:35| computer related and now it's like all the likes all the Twitter looks and all
00:32:40| that stuff is all all pure by AI hmm we're almost at our subject of the
00:32:48| evening and I like how we made the episode nice and concise but we didn't
00:32:53| even get to scenarios yeah I do have a scenario for you let me feel it
00:33:00| with my you know I'm gonna go blind here yeah okay so it's pretty easy you have
00:33:06| three options it's either you're stuck with a permanent facial expression you
00:33:11| can either smile all the time frown all the time or have no emotion at
00:33:15| all so what do you choose for the rest of your life no emotion at all you
00:33:21| become a Normie yeah it would be boring as hell but they think of it if I'm
00:33:25| smiling all the time and so I was like your son he came to us he's been charged
00:33:30| here is remains convinced a man can think this man you'd be in the courtroom
00:33:38| just like like that six top don't like this so if I were to cut out neutral
00:33:58| expression what would you pick I guess happy I'd rather live yeah happy you
00:34:05| know why because I feel like the inverse reactions are gonna balance out or like
00:34:11| I do crazy amping positive any other you were different
00:34:13| but the everyday day to day stuff someone sees you smile and kind of
00:34:16| cheers a mop so I'm doing more cheering up on the in-between stuff and like you
00:34:22| know my interaction with a bank teller where I'm like thank you God like I mean
00:34:26| like I'm like that's cool maybe they smile although they see me
00:34:30| week after week after week and I always smile that's we got to you hit the curve
00:34:35| where you finally become normal creep and then Admiral
00:34:39| like yeah this guy's too regular that's like hey when I worked hey you
00:34:45| know Trump declared war on Korea which Korea so dude you could play off
00:34:54| everyone you know he declared war right on what himself because you gotta keep
00:35:02| smiling and they're like up of this guy he's just crazy you can make a joke of
00:35:07| everything there was a guy I mean you didn't pay any of the bills this month
00:35:12| I'm going to there's a guy who always smiled no no no there was a guy at Pizza
00:35:24| Hut we never knew his intentions he would always order when you worked if he
00:35:28| thought yeah this is back decades ago being sexy big sexy and was I this is a
00:35:36| big sexy and then hung up or something like ridiculous that teenagers do well
00:35:40| they were gonna beat that no no no he would come in he'd physically be yet we
00:35:43| had this little window that was like four walk up orders which is weird now I
00:35:47| think about it and pizza but um he would he would always order
00:35:52| our personal pan pizza which is like the smallest pizza you could buy with very
00:35:57| specific ingredients which would be like a green pepper and sausage and something
00:36:02| else but he you don't remember really I I think it might have been bacon but he
00:36:09| would always order that every day he'd come in and we always be like what is
00:36:14| wrong with this guy like you know yeah you see the smile every day you're like
00:36:19| in the beginning you think you know it's novel but ever why you're just like he's
00:36:23| got an issue you know he's got a problem this is great this guy's amazing
00:36:27| really this is the most thing the most the most the happiest part of that story
00:36:34| is that he was actually ordering that for his son because his son would only
00:36:37| eat personal pan pizzas that had as toppings so he ordered the same thing
00:36:42| every day for his son for about a month until his son was tired of so he's
00:36:47| actually thirty days in a long time I'll yeah yeah we were like in each time like
00:36:53| braver and he'd never said anything about his son until like the last week
00:36:57| and then we're all like oh man the first day he was like I'm just getting this
00:37:02| pizza it's for my son by the way roll tweet like I'm getting this ear
00:37:07| medication I think it for my uncle by the way I think it took like one of the
00:37:13| jerks in the restaurant to be like so what's your fascination with personal
00:37:18| pan pizzas with sausage and bacon and green peppers he's like it's for my son
00:37:23| he's an Indian guy so I can't see the Indian accent cuz that's offensive but
00:37:26| craisins he was an Indian guy I'm like a lot oh it's racist you don't know if he
00:37:31| was he could have had Indian ish features it doesn't mean he's Indian
00:37:36| I did say sausage so he probably isn't really Indian man's a fraud so now
00:37:44| you're calling this man a fraud I don't know when Hinduism really kicks
00:37:48| in if they're under a certain age they're allowed to imbibe huh that's
00:37:58| pensive there's a lot of pensive thoughts going on in my brain right now
00:38:01| I mean like be more pensive all right we better skip to the markers mom no you
00:38:15| forgot this marker smile then it of mine was I'm wearing exercise gear cuz I'm
00:38:19| fat that's the smarter smile yeah it's also topical I guess I don't know hmm I
00:38:25| did want to work out today but it's like actually I'm really cold here too good
00:38:32| I'm glad in fact I'm here early last night your sovereign I have to wear my
00:38:37| winter jacket like 2 times a year and this is the second day so I'm kind of
00:38:42| tired of it I think I'm moving out dude maybe
00:38:46| somewhere south where it's warm I do have a smoker smile but I'll I'll delay
00:38:50| it until next week and then I also have a contingent product plug which is
00:38:55| fascinating I mean that's gonna go a lot it's gonna go so long let's just move on
00:39:06| I know so follower of the show dil Dan often a quote unquote I really like the
00:39:13| show I was listening to not so great rollers and you guys take so long to get
00:39:20| to the main subject no shit cuz we're talking about other stuff fuck
00:39:26| you till then and I said that's a good point and I think we'll try and be more
00:39:43| expedient we haven't been know we like to take her time we aren't going to be a
00:39:50| little foreplay we're pleasure two layers that would you
00:39:54| say we are yeah exuberant pleasured layers like from the movie even Al's guy
00:39:59| I don't you're a pleasure Delayer are you sure it's she's saying that Tom
00:40:10| Cruise is Tom Cruise saying that to her she says that Vettel cruise you are a
00:40:14| pleasure Delayer she's she's probably cuz she's topless
00:40:17| cuz I couldn't pay attention to where words at that point no but she is one of
00:40:21| the more gorgeous things going oh my god can we agree what's our main topic I
00:40:27| forgot already see a comic for dill van who by the way he won't drink coca-cola
00:40:37| because of one of the ingredients in there is made by people of the Jewish
00:40:42| faith and he thinks it might be Zionist this is him why do you agree diem I
00:40:50| would you know there are two guys that know the formula
00:40:55| ever there was one of them that tried to sell the Pepsi but he got arrested I
00:41:01| don't know anything about that we just skirt over it I got in here
00:41:05| mm-hmm there's two guys and they both know the formula half the formula
00:41:10| I forget how those goes I've been drinking well he touched my hair to
00:41:13| prove it I don't know the formula but apparently it's super-secret only two
00:41:18| people in the world know it gets locked in like this vault that needs two people
00:41:22| to open it guy wanting guys do yeah they're like plantation is Dan think
00:41:28| till Dan thinks that one of these guys has an agenda and he's making us all
00:41:33| believe further in Israel or Zion or I don't know he goes on on I can't listen
00:41:39| little guy but he only drinks Pepsi this is the weird part so he fell in love
00:41:45| with Crystal Pepsi right oh let's just see it while ago he still buys it off
00:41:50| eBay Wow that's gonna be ten years twenty years
00:41:53| old it doesn't matter and this is the weird part you would think is go down in
00:41:57| price okay it's like $13 for a two-liter just seeing the thing he's like I'm so
00:42:03| thirsty and I was like for a nuclear core that's what I thought I said for
00:42:08| what a coca-cola whatever he said no for a Pepsi this is how he sounds like okay
00:42:14| I'll do it he says for a Pepsi I have to have
00:42:19| certain ingredients in my Pepsi in it it's not your business
00:42:24| and I'm like don't cares like just wash your manners relax dude and he's like
00:42:29| this no I need the clear Pepsi it's the only one that'll do it I just paid 1394
00:42:36| for a 2-liter bottle and at this point I clicked like off but I hit the mute
00:42:41| button he talked to me for like I don't know I went in the other room I left my
00:42:45| phone I came back 34 minutes it gone by and he's still talking I picked I was
00:42:49| like hello Dan he goes I stopped talking and I was like I gotta go dude you gotta
00:42:56| go what are my plants there's all these guts
00:42:59| so I don't know I'm more into it anyway you guys clear Pepsi for like 50 bucks
00:43:03| if you can find him on the intern freaking Salim clear Pepsi to buy one
00:43:07| for like three bucks selling it 4050 who cares I hate him it's the guy who's
00:43:13| selling it to him it's probably millionaire by now he's got a base
00:43:15| that's loose and he's an idiot yeah but whatever I don't know move on oh wow
00:43:27| we've got 17 minutes it's this I even nicknamed it because
00:43:35| Nick named it yes named it okay it's called big sexy data oh yes data not
00:43:45| neutrality question oh yeah that's good it's Internet freedom and we're gonna
00:43:51| talk about big data and a little bit about Internet freedom and net
00:43:55| neutrality sure we're gonna sum it up in probably less than 15 minutes
00:44:00| somehow sixteen oh good do you want to start the origin of data No did you
00:44:18| that's no I'm just thinking it for my just thinking out loud here I believe is
00:44:25| one of the graphs oh that's digital data all right yes
00:44:29| yeah human dude hatest I was in 2002 and it started being collected and cracked
00:44:34| it so be Saltz didn't episodes on how he's a big friend of the podcast like
00:44:42| transmitting data well how you can destroy data Oh hmm it's hard as shit
00:44:51| you think it's easy to find what your data is first Oh disprove you
00:44:58| let's say it's on a hard drive okay you good
00:45:02| oh yeah cuz if there's a little remnant there and you gotta rewrite it like 16
00:45:07| years around there well and if you just delete it up your hard drive or and then
00:45:12| recycle empty your recycle bin like what I'm still there it's the page if I can't
00:45:17| be put together back by someone who has a knowledge yeah the wearable wearable
00:45:24| that's what they do for people who murder people and they search yeah
00:45:28| they search how to do things and they save documents and then they recycle bin
00:45:32| it but computer this just has like a little pointer points to a file and the
00:45:40| what you're deleting is the pointer to the file so all the bits are still there
00:45:45| you just have to read them directly from the whole hard drive either way he
00:45:52| mentioned how it was kind of a pain the answer delete even simple searches this
00:45:57| files you save I mean you can do it yeah but it's known once too they can
00:46:02| probably piece together with technology especially future technology not just
00:46:06| early technology but now it's like being like blockchain stuff like you have like
00:46:12| once you do one transaction it gets spread around it's like five maybe
00:46:17| blockchain elements like nodes and then after that it's everywhere it's just you
00:46:23| know you can't delete that stuff it's what's the warning you litter was on
00:46:28| cataloging everything to the Library of Congress for a while everything to them
00:46:34| like what they tweeted towards me every tweet hmm was ever logged into the
00:46:40| Library of Congress I believe they just it literally announced I want to say two
00:46:44| months ago one month ago that they stopped adult garbage sworn there was
00:46:50| wasting space but even those things if you delete your tweets or whatever I'm
00:46:58| sure they can still find it I went through a period in my life where I um I
00:47:04| got off to some tweets so hmm oh look up some more graphic Twitter stuff and just
00:47:11| look at it have a good time and then look away you're talking about tumblr
00:47:15| right then I have tweet no wool tumblers - pornographic Twitter what's it
00:47:21| yeah I didn't know this but either way like that stuff's on there forever right
00:47:25| yeah are you doing that listen I was looking at myself in the corner I love
00:47:35| doing to yourself I understand that yeah I just masturbate to pictures of myself
00:47:40| [Laughter] anyway oh yeah so that's gonna be stored
00:47:48| forever on the cloud anyway so when I'm a politician I'm tremoring for good for
00:47:51| president president Dan was news key and not elected anyway an old college
00:48:04| roommate of mine Tommy the Fox flowers flowers used to
00:48:08| call data Gator Gator Gator cuz he said in his dad's voice yeah stuck with me
00:48:16| every day but um big dater always contains they break it down to the five
00:48:23| B's did you get into this I did not get into any of this volume variety velocity
00:48:28| variety variability and veracity okay so let me reiterate you miss quantity
00:48:37| yeah connotation variety is the type or nature of data it could be goddamn how
00:48:43| much birds either got in birdies there could be how many drone strikes you
00:48:48| dropped in Syria it could be how many miles per hour
00:48:52| um Zdeno Chara shoots a pocket it's really another package what's what's in
00:48:56| the container you tryin acting just package is extremely important at the
00:49:01| offenders we love packages send us all your package picks anyway
00:49:08| velocity is the speed at which it's gathered mm-hmm or the amount that it
00:49:15| accumulates in a overcome uh-huh so we're up to triple V's now what's the
00:49:20| quadruple D variability this one's interesting it's the
00:49:25| inconsistency in data hmm where we've run into outliers or other eases or it
00:49:32| works obsolete things stuff like that
00:49:35| and lastly pen wrap any pen tupple I don't know it's a fog veracity which is
00:49:43| the quality will no baby makes you gather most of this data from a big
00:49:48| dater which you'll hear that word from Big D Big Data that's where we gather
00:49:56| some Ariel smart phones cameras RF IDs microphones wireless sensors software
00:50:03| logs what that's interesting solve our thoughts EUL a horn oh that describes
00:50:12| the end o tracking your ID movement and that's overdoing folks
00:50:19| we're tracking you were an you to Big Data right now watching us you're
00:50:24| getting into big data how you feel like that you piece of shit
00:50:27| yeah us us broadcast this riding a big data I feel about that you please shit
00:50:32| like Google can figure out like what you watch what you'd like and I might change
00:50:37| the arrow position I love it okay sorry no they're tracking everything if you
00:50:42| think about it the Google is everything but a search engine in the world they
00:50:45| can just track every every interest in a stock and then they could decide if a
00:50:51| stock is gonna go up or down based on how many people search for it
00:50:55| interesting very data controls the world so big data which incorporates data from
00:51:03| how many people are buying 32 34 genes at urban pipeline and how many secret
00:51:11| messages or being traded between Isis members it's all big data yeah it's a
00:51:18| lot of freaking information or how many bowel movements you have and you post
00:51:23| online I don't know well you could track your phone when you
00:51:26| go to the toilet right if they can hone in right there what if you're a serial
00:51:31| killer who doesn't even take his phone to the toilet so what if you applied for
00:51:34| a job at Google look at your family you spend 15 minutes
00:51:40| on the toilet it's above average which is Oh twice a day interesting
00:51:46| interesting yeah they're looking down looking up I'll tell you what you look
00:51:52| at my toilet No thank you I'll leave this interview right now have a good day
00:51:57| yeah so interesting thing about big dater is that it doubles every 40 months
00:52:07| Wow it's a lot of data and that's not even hold on that's starting in 1980
00:52:13| yeah Moore's law interesting good call so
00:52:25| exabytes of data are added a day Hey look I accept a terabyte petabyte
00:52:31| exabyte maybe it's something order so it's a lot of assets Vader I mean you're
00:52:47| also taken into account teenagers angas YouTube videos were
00:52:53| Logan Paul shows dead bodies and points to him and everything and laughs hey
00:52:58| shout out Paul Logan or Logan Paul whichever name is he's a big fan of the
00:53:02| podcast we totally agree with everything he does except the dead body stuff so if
00:53:06| you're following follow us I like to specify that I was correct it does go
00:53:11| terabyte petabyte exabyte zettabyte and then yottabyte well that's interesting
00:53:18| cuz by 2025 the entirety of information we have in Big Data
00:53:23| will reach 163 Zeta by baby yeah that's 1,000 to the seventh I don't
00:53:33| even know how large that is I can't even no one ever talks and said us I can't
00:53:39| wait till we get to Zetas leave what's the next one Giada which is not gonna
00:53:44| care they got to change that name before it gets a yachtie someone please change
00:53:47| the name what that sounds terrible yottabyte I
00:53:51| mean it does but are we gonna reach anytime soon in our lifetimes
00:53:56| hmm so people ask me all the time every day
00:54:02| what's wrong with big data what to do well it uses all these things to form
00:54:08| their own algorithms it forms patterns it guesstimates what's gonna happens
00:54:12| everything forever the idea is it's a future predictor ultimately correct yeah
00:54:19| and you won't have any choice and will be predicted for you interestingly
00:54:26| enough I find that big data goes the way that I predict or the way I treat on
00:54:33| sports science is also hmm support time you Corsi Corsi data yeah
00:54:40| when that person on the ice for the other person is right how many shots
00:54:43| they generate per second per get headed put Haddie anyway do it their partners
00:54:49| is on the ice difficulty of opposition like I guess it's all very good
00:54:55| information we're talking to hockey right now they do it for football the
00:54:58| PFF website does it great to do amazing job baseball does w AR wins after
00:55:06| replacement they got all different kinds of stats like it's crazy it's like this
00:55:11| is awesome great but at the same time what it boils down to is you're telling
00:55:18| us what all the information you've got gave you what all these even big data
00:55:28| gives you is past data oh let me jump in right here go ahead
00:55:33| so one of the things I've been looking at lately is uh stocks so stocks have
00:55:37| you know a man possibilities for making money yeah well historical dinner
00:55:41| none of the historical data really applies to the stocks and they have
00:55:45| these crazy things called you heard of like Candlestick symbols no friggin clue
00:55:51| what you're talking about right now it was essentially like what what the price
00:55:55| begins at what it varies and how it ends and like it's it's green or red
00:56:01| depending on what goes up or down and like the extent is
00:56:04| like the higher the low so they have certain symbols called like there's a
00:56:07| weird Japanese ones like a marabou zoo or a Yoshimi or something like that we
00:56:12| have a certain if you have a certain symbols in a row it means some things so
00:56:18| like all these people are analyzing all the big data to figure out if it's a
00:56:22| marabou zoo or if it's like like they all like you know only up it's going up
00:56:26| yeah this always means it goes off ninety seven time it goes up so they buy
00:56:30| on these crazy symbols that are all historical proofs but it doesn't mean
00:56:35| anything in the future necessarily what's interesting about what you've
00:56:42| just said is that one of the coolest thing I think of physics and science and
00:56:50| science is up you don't have to lean into them like this I loved it I loved
00:56:55| leaning in damn it one of the coolest things about science
00:56:59| is the observations and the patterns you there with all Kathryn see and break
00:57:05| down and you can see what's going on the problem is your observation actually
00:57:12| changes the physics if you're implementing the system yeah exactly
00:57:18| you looking in influences what is happening you're looking in never
00:57:24| happened before it is happening now guess what that changes the system this
00:57:29| happens especially in stocks number one in stocks think about it oh well the
00:57:34| pattern shows this this is this well let's let's let's react on this guess
00:57:41| what mother fucker someone else react to it yes or several dozen people start
00:57:48| reacting on this well guess what there's quite a beat that flush this and go to
00:57:55| this and do this and sort of subsidize this because everyone's doing this when
00:58:00| they see this and you're like oh shit way way too big of a flow diagram to
00:58:08| figure out I think exactly human nature well when that's what I find funny about
00:58:13| the people who do sports analytics on baseball or hockey or whatever it's like
00:58:17| did you know usually he does so well with his ex pitch y times that this
00:58:24| happens and this happens whoa if everyone else has his data dater about
00:58:29| as I were mister tell me the Fox line you've literally changed history the
00:58:36| person can see this now can see this new data and react to this everything's
00:58:41| different not to mention um big dater is very good
00:58:48| at predicting things except for what's called outliers which is things that are
00:58:55| so far beyond the mean that they skew the entire information center oftentimes
00:59:04| data collects most of the mean information most of the information they
00:59:09| collect this from this big cloud well it's really hard to gather all little
00:59:14| dots that appear outside outside outside farther farther away and like little dog
00:59:18| sitter because they're ridiculous it's like who does this where does that
00:59:21| that's that never happens except once that's ridiculous
00:59:25| well that stuff can happen again it can it's very what could happen again
00:59:31| and it skews the data to the point where it may change how big dater goes just an
00:59:39| interesting fact so I were you know I'm a minute it kind
00:59:45| of a stormy type in it yeah I was looking at I think this is a Vsauce
00:59:49| thing is that there's a there's a website called the library of Babel I
00:59:53| don't know if you heard of this it's every word combination that you can
00:59:58| think of already laid out so that if you type something into it it's already on
01:00:03| some page on the Internet and it exists so I'm gonna write hold on unpin this
01:00:11| already exists sucks off they're cousins farm animals go there's no way that's
01:00:18| there so so what is it cousins the on panderers sucks all their cousins farm
01:00:24| animals there's no way in hell at grill o me see
01:00:30| it me see I don't know it does mean multiple options here so the goodies
01:00:32| give me a second I think it for though London panderer sucks off their cousins
01:00:37| farm animals written on page 372 of 410 of man it has like a ridiculous number
01:00:46| but it's in here it is literally written in here it's written it's gotten every
01:00:51| sentence known to man and every combination so you can you can search
01:00:55| for whatever you're looking for and it will tell you like it's almost like a QR
01:01:00| code and then the page so it has every combination of letter yeah and that that
01:01:07| was on BB v RR v u x NT page 374 huh yeah that's great alright I that's just
01:01:22| amazing that like you know data can consume every possibility it's just like
01:01:28| a matter of time before you hit that possibility but what's the use of all
01:01:37| the possibilities that don't get hit does that make sense
01:01:40| if you could lay something out in a mathematical scheme then it could could
01:01:44| I have added brothers into that sense my cousins brothers and farm animals sex
01:01:49| whatever that was sure what yeah it's gonna be I don't know and it'll probably
01:01:53| be a hit because they probably did that but what's the point of having the
01:01:57| brothers one if I didn't bring that up today if the library if the library is
01:02:01| defined by mathematical formula and the formula is less than a page long so if
01:02:06| you send that to somebody say there are aliens on another planet and then you
01:02:10| reference what that is then they can decode what you said and they can see
01:02:15| they can figure out the the under patent and or suck off their cousins farm
01:02:19| animals really reality that's gets transmitted to the universe so that
01:02:32| aliens are like we're looking for the unmanned doors here
01:02:35| we've got some barman guys farm animals here that needs sucking on yeah we've
01:02:40| been waiting we travel into light years but that's
01:02:46| the whole point is that you can interesting things this might lead to my
01:02:51| next problem so big day that makes a lot of mistakes
01:02:54| Oh does it oh it does um there's a simple book called anatomy of a fly
01:03:01| something of a fly something allotted by our bio majors by um they look up this
01:03:06| book I it might be fly instincts you'll I can't remember did Cameron Wright fly
01:03:12| an enemy no no no no well Amazon would create its own algorithms to price these
01:03:19| things really Luke was 35:54 right he had to buy it for school
01:03:26| whatever fly in the room anatomy talk taking root of to fly you could probably
01:03:33| find this online because anyway this is a famous case yeah uh the book was to
01:03:38| $35 on 54 cents uh-huh hold one algorithm screwed up and they ended up
01:03:43| selling it for twenty three million six hundred and ninety thousand six hundred
01:03:47| fifty five dollars if you wanted it fantastic do they sell any I believe no
01:03:53| no no one's Amazon card is a proof of that much which is a real problem I wish
01:03:58| it was you think the limitations would say you couldn't do you couldn't price
01:04:03| it beyond what you would have been thanked but it apparently there were two
01:04:08| competing bookstores that were always selling and one always said sell at
01:04:18| what happened is I think the other yes so hold on is this also injuring because
01:04:27| remember Keep Calm and chive on oh yeah so you know they make a million shirts
01:04:32| with like whatever keep drive they use talking huge offi keep calm and come on
01:04:38| like have sex with whatever lee well an algorithm made just random generic keep
01:04:44| calm and blank on jerk Oh I love though everyone lost their shit
01:04:50| what keep calm and rape on a real popular shirt they were like and they
01:04:58| were like asking Amazon they were asking ever all these people they're like no
01:05:02| one made it it just it just generated itself and they're like now greatly
01:05:07| generated itself and they were like well it was random word association and
01:05:11| eventually that's a hot-button word eventually rape showed up and they were
01:05:15| like see you were selling rape shirts and they were like we didn't sell
01:05:19| anything but we just made a profit off of it right right so big data it does
01:05:26| that with on YouTube videos as your kid watch YouTube or now
01:05:30| oh my god he has a tablet now he got one for Christmas yeah he's had it all of
01:05:34| maybe about a week and I find him going into like Russian stuff like so he'll
01:05:39| know different language is she careful what they're wrong yeah like it's weird
01:05:43| no jobs harmless and it's like who cares like but it's funny because um these
01:05:50| algorithms that people make on youtube.com or whatever the hell it is
01:05:55| trying to figure out where searching or what you want to see it's user right
01:05:59| yeah well they will include a big hit is a child song spider-man Elsa from frozen
01:06:06| it'll name like three or four or five things yeah and they just combined them
01:06:10| into this nonsensical formula and the computer does the rest it makes like a
01:06:14| five minute video where they sing yeah who's the finger daddy finger or like
01:06:20| they did make a song that's popular among kids
01:06:23| uh-huh and then that's the whole video yeah I figure it'll get so many hits
01:06:27| that they make money over to I'd the daddy finger one I've seen I sure the
01:06:32| one that freaked me out the most is that he went to some Russian one that was
01:06:36| talking about colors and it was he with their coloring eggs but it was like it
01:06:41| even though the text was in Russian it would say the color but it would say it
01:06:45| like a whisper yeah so it'd be like and I'd be like I can't even hear what the
01:06:50| hell they're saying but that's the only word they're saying it's like it's it's
01:06:54| computer automated keep your eye on what he's saying yeah
01:06:58| most people think it's like some evil conspiracy where they're like inserting
01:07:02| stuff to pervert our kids like sex with animals like whatever like just a weird
01:07:07| stops messily mine turns out is it's mostly big data saying
01:07:11| you know XYZ make a profit just combine them all XYZ l j k l four seven and it's
01:07:21| never been done before it gets but check it out
01:07:23| kids will click on it and half the time our kids do no it's almost like the the
01:07:29| computer-generated harry potter they made a chapter and it like it's
01:07:35| almost it's understandable yeah relax about weird stuff and then there's some
01:07:40| strange things in it and it almost sounds like it was written by human and
01:07:46| we're getting really close to like having AI just generate stuff for us
01:07:50| well here's the thing I will say to sum it up because this is as far as we're
01:07:55| gonna go we're not gonna get any further we've reached our time limit but I what
01:07:59| I will say is the computers do pretty good at mimicking mimicking the average
01:08:08| yeah like people are always talking abut computers are gonna do music man don't
01:08:14| do the top 40 song like check this we got a random AI we gave it controls we
01:08:20| were like yo make a song as top 40 and click the link I'm like oh shit robots
01:08:26| made music robots made music and I'll listen it's the most generic boring ass
01:08:30| off a song and like really I wouldn't like it
01:08:33| lera and I'm not an average person like I don't like top 40 I like weird as hell
01:08:39| stuff and I'm always like good job robot you made an awful song like dude I mean
01:08:44| like there's a little bit of me that smiles that part of me is still an a
01:08:47| liar and I think as long as humans are alive there will be outliers so machines
01:08:54| will never be able to do everything even when they do something perfectly it's
01:08:59| not perfect you follow me oh yeah so that when they make a top 40 song that's
01:09:05| like this is this includes all the things humans love a sick beat a 4/4
01:09:11| syncopation lyrics that include dancing and life and my parents don't understand
01:09:17| and it's like all these things and like that people run out and just play it and
01:09:21| it's like pretty good and you're like that's pretty good for fourteen-year-old
01:09:24| girl and they're like this is the most advanced robot in the world really being
01:09:30| nice cause a girl for teen girls old hmm like there will always be yeah there's a
01:09:38| separation in there they're just like right like I respect that they're doing
01:09:43| good and getting better and showing promise but I don't think he'll ever
01:09:49| catch up yeah humans put in stuff that dump doesn't make any sense
01:09:55| like the like listening a collective soul and they do like a and it's just
01:10:00| like they're like why do you hear honey on panders yeah collect it so little bit
01:10:06| followers of the show I don't know why they put that in there but it's so
01:10:10| catchy that it a robot will never figure that out I don't see how a robot would
01:10:14| say like oh I'm gonna I'm gonna mimic human vocal cords to make noises that a
01:10:19| human would like it's like you don't know there's no way and again this goes
01:10:23| back to what I said about sports science whatever and all that big data all this
01:10:27| information is all of our history up till now what happens after the now we
01:10:37| change is almost never a hundred percent history repeated it's always different
01:10:42| isn't it next up war or no even that war changes I mean because of war logically
01:10:50| advance but I mean you could tweet a war happens and it would happen right Donald
01:10:54| take a push the buttons there's the button push that big that button Donny
01:10:59| anyway um folks at home we want you to push that like we didn't even go over
01:11:07| next router you done for the day are you done or cooked
01:11:13| I gotta go shovel the snow off your driveway
01:11:16| done I don't care about Mandy trolley hey come back for comment or a deep
01:11:23| pedido the GA Pangea pie mother effer wasn't FCC
01:11:30| chairman do you want to hit that cuz i it's real quick it's 32 seconds long 30
01:11:44| seconds small oh hold on for Collins Colorado
01:12:11| Wow hold on so net in honor of net neutrality
01:12:17| because apparently everywhere you look on the Internet I know this sounds crazy
01:12:21| they're against net neutrality what are you talking about I know what works what
01:12:27| are you reading oh and therefore net neutrality yeah
01:12:31| long term but but I think it's hilarious that everywhere you look on the internet
01:12:35| therefore net oh yeah it's you they are but of course they are cuz it's the Navy
01:12:41| and look cuz people have no idea what it means really when you talk to normal
01:12:45| people they're like what why is this bad I was like touching now and Marshall I
01:12:49| just showed was released by people who were against net neutrality no shit cuz
01:12:55| they're probably like Comcast that's what a billion dollars invested exactly
01:12:59| it's funded by Comcast I believe it's called priorities first we shouldn't
01:13:05| worry about the internet Fridays first here yeah someone says quote unquote in
01:13:11| the emphasis in this 30-second clip you just saw my electric bills could go up I
01:13:16| don't want that which it's not based on any truth it's people were like we got
01:13:22| schools to work man generic thing I've heard and then there's a scene where
01:13:31| like cast is Travis there's like wait there's eight cars sitting in traffic
01:13:38| now do you know my way yeah they're like you don't want the Internet to be like
01:13:42| this or something and it's like oh the scariest thing is that all the people
01:13:50| who own a bath way they also they turned off their like dislike me neuron
01:13:56| comments are disabled the funniest damn video on the Internet
01:14:02| quick shout-out I wrote down the name if you want to go there dude I would
01:14:07| comment on their actual homepage people are commenting off it's really funny
01:14:12| what disgusted me was a literally the other day I was looking at eighties
01:14:17| website because I was gonna change my service and then I was sitting and
01:14:21| waiting for the website to load the provider that I was paying for and I was
01:14:27| just like you don't even have like an unlimited access to yourself like you're
01:14:31| gonna you're gonna be control of everyone's internet and just screw it up
01:14:35| for everybody and people don't understand the net
01:14:38| neutrality is more about restricting pathways and then making you pay like
01:14:43| it's gonna make the consumer pay to get to all these different areas of the web
01:14:47| right like they're saying um you know you have to pay to having YouTube pay to
01:14:52| Twitter pay to this pay to this it's read everywhere I looked on the internet
01:14:57| and then this is not a knock on the internet so much it's just like this
01:15:02| common knowledge net neutrality is we need it it means that everyone who has a
01:15:08| website who has you can internet and then I missed a poor exactly it
01:15:14| basically says Internet is a human right and that we need it and then it
01:15:19| shouldn't be throttled charged extra to go to certain websites versus others and
01:15:25| that certain services whether it be Netflix or YouTube or whatever should be
01:15:32| throttled law so they like what they can't stop us from going there because
01:15:35| like oh that's not part of our package we don't own it from the package an I'm
01:15:39| an Internet service provider that's not what we do we don't we do everything but
01:15:43| YouTube and Netflix excuse me the thing that drives me the most crazy is well
01:15:49| there's two things is it a chip pie and the guy who's the
01:15:51| FCC Chairman he makes jokes about the stuff and he's being paid off by Verizon
01:15:56| and Comcast and it's literally becoming that a murmuration no well yeah he
01:16:03| himself is a meme but the corporation's of America are owning our politicians
01:16:07| they're making the choices for everyone it's just uh it's terrible listen um
01:16:17| it took me a while to find these three bars uh-huh
01:16:23| it was on arguments against net neutrality like in favor of home what am
01:16:29| i against I'm curious it took me a while because I I was googling this and it was
01:16:34| all these things that weren't really against it I was like well yeah these
01:16:37| make sense but I'm looking for I'm looking for the augur the only thing
01:16:40| I've heard is like infrastructure like it will allow us to build more
01:16:44| infrastructure which which is untrue I've read that they were given money to
01:16:49| build infrastructure and they haven't like they've given like half a billion
01:16:53| dollars to do it or maybe even like half a trillion dollars to build
01:16:56| infrastructure and they never did it deprives them deprives us of choices and
01:17:05| it lets the government control the internet the big bad guys why is this
01:17:10| she has the problem is there's so many permutations of bullshit out there that
01:17:14| people are like I'm confused I don't know how to vote right and and the
01:17:18| confusing nature of the net neutrality work for not against yeah like they
01:17:24| named the act that killed net neutrality the Internet Freedom Act or something
01:17:29| right it's all about wording freedom yeah it's like yeah it's like support
01:17:36| net neutrality let's vote for the rape babies Act it's like that what what how
01:17:40| is that you saw the bitches well it's not I hate this is gonna
01:17:48| change the world do you think it's gonna keep going or
01:17:53| you think it'll eventually get stopped or whatever I think every democratic
01:17:57| government uh democratic government that gets put in place and the next leader
01:18:01| will probably say net neutrality is back on because it's a democratic
01:18:05| thing the rubble Republicans are just trying to suck money out of it so it's
01:18:08| like Trump doesn't he has not to it we started this I guess six to eight months
01:18:15| ago saying we really wanted to stay out of politics
01:18:18| yeah and we're try not feeling either side or the other but would you say the
01:18:23| people that have the least sex with with their partner is Republicans they're
01:18:29| more about the other issues I'd like to focus on the other issues here
01:18:34| Anthony is Anthony Weiner's a democratic or a Republican
01:18:38| he's Republican he was part of the net neutrality thing he he definitely wasn't
01:18:42| having sex with his partner then well to find his partner yeah anyway his
01:18:49| partners his penis why sorry I got off-track cuz I got emotion doesn't
01:18:57| matter we're good yeah Dan's emotional every time we talk about wieners but
01:19:01| anyway we're gonna call it a night we are I feel like there's something else
01:19:07| with net neutrality there oh we could go and that's probably more a new tire
01:19:11| you're gonna shovel some snow it's novel show
01:19:17| so anyway folks we're glad you tuned in tonight
01:19:22| friggin glad you listened or whatever I hate yeah thanks for long if you've made
01:19:28| it this far most of our listeners don't was here free till then we get this far
01:19:37| I think we're friggin glad you folks we glad you Oh Mike yeah oh we like you we
01:19:42| like you have a good night and support what doesn't exist anymore which is net
01:19:51| neutrality Oh ouch
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