Transcript of Episode 23 - Scams
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00:00:00| didn't what so this is Dan and you are I'm dick folks
00:00:08| holy smokes folks holy smokes our together we formed this team oh man
00:00:18| it's not like anything else you know it's pretty unique
00:00:24| we call ourselves be on within if you're a borrower bumper so welcome bumpers
00:00:36| yeah I think the number is growing by the month this one well that's a number
00:00:42| the number growing it sure is what's one it's getting
00:00:47| larger you could bring it to a wedding at this point you know we're old friends
00:00:58| we like to talk and share topics and say what on what we do all right what do we
00:01:04| do it's like or a couple of ghosts from an 80s kids movie we start off really
00:01:09| crazy and scary but then by the end we kind of just fade away and realize what
00:01:14| made us unhappy it's pretty good right begin a drink Stokes 21 and older
00:01:29| that's the disclaimer and so is this a employer can't sue me a employer can't
00:01:37| fire me a employer can't not hire me wrong you can't do anything either
00:01:44| yeah celebrity you can't sue me either because this is for what in free speech
00:01:54| David Berman middle Second Amendment folks and entertainment this is only an
00:01:59| educational purposes sort of full chock-full of usable information
00:02:03| education outside yeah you can't disseminate this podcast either No
00:02:11| well you can share it you just can't use it as your own you can't just have
00:02:15| innate it yeah disseminate so many funny see us emanate this dissipation three
00:02:21| things you can't disseminate guys the NFL Yun panders and your ex-wife all
00:02:28| right guys it's gonna get you 18 years baby lemonade on that you know I'm
00:02:33| saying anyway you should have Semin ated somewhere else I'm dying you folks real
00:02:44| quick tongue twister for you it's a good topical say with me folks the Dutch
00:02:54| destroyers disseminated degenerative crucial ligament is torn the Eagles
00:03:00| season is over you just cut it in half teens a Dutch destroyer disseminated
00:03:07| degenerative crucial ligament gave me to say that ligament he already got me on
00:03:14| the tongue twister say the words man he's the one with the passer rating
00:03:26| that's like in the ridiculous numbers right 130 or something third downs
00:03:31| here's cancer eating his heart rating is through the roof and
00:03:35| how much of you let his like did you see it was like I guess like just like
00:03:40| flopping everywhere uh I mean he got hit from both sides by
00:03:44| guys we'd like 300 pounds we can run like four O's but he's been hit like
00:03:50| that before it's just one of those freak things your ACL yeah so they they
00:03:56| clinched the division and they won and now it's a weird feeling because like
00:04:02| football is weird like yeah if you're gonna win that year feel like they were
00:04:07| gonna win just based on the stupid and the pendulums
00:04:11| yeah the feel like magical stocks happening crazy things are going on
00:04:15| not to mention next year your defensive coordinator is gonna be a coach
00:04:19| somewhere so we're gonna take Jim Schwartz you could lose two or three
00:04:23| other free agents ah guys could get injured next year you
00:04:27| know what I mean like it's all about who's healthy who's hot and you were
00:04:31| healthy and hot now you're who's the backup the guy they hire Katherine I get
00:04:35| though they didn't expose though you know that names he say q-ball Nikki
00:04:41| sticks baby they had him around for like five years
00:04:43| didn't they yeah he um he threw 22 touchdowns and like two interceptions
00:04:52| one year something ridiculous that was the best year of his life but uh they're
00:04:58| gonna try and recreate magic they always do a sound prop to him
00:05:02| it's like how's everybody doing like it's like a real yokel type guy I'm
00:05:08| rooting for Nikki Sixx folks Super Bowl or bust for myself some more of this
00:05:13| thanks for bringing it up yeah I remember a season where he didn't do so
00:05:18| hot and then he pretty much faded into non-existence and then apparently still
00:05:22| exists means backup quarterback I mean backup QB is a job those guys make like
00:05:29| and shit they don't have to get hurt they don't want to get hit there's no
00:05:35| pressure on them it's awesome pretty much hanging out big off you hang with
00:05:40| the team tell jokes and uh I've been a great like backup athlete I tell jokes
00:05:45| with the best of all I just been like let's get him with whipped cream in his
00:05:49| locker on the sidelines what can we do today and then one day they'd be like
00:05:59| hey Nick we need you to play I'm really I'm the funny guy there's a golden
00:06:09| retriever behind you and you're just like oh they mean that Nick and runs an
00:06:12| field and takes your spot and the other coach is screaming that this is illegal
00:06:17| and all look at all the referees are getting together I mean like there's
00:06:20| nothing in the rulebook that says a dog can't play football part there isn't
00:06:27| anything in the rulebook I hope not so you have any
00:06:31| clarifications or Corrections or the last time I
00:06:34| I did make Bolognese and I was wrong there is no Bologna in Bolognese just I
00:06:41| just want to clarify that cuz last time I was really confused I heard you and I
00:06:46| made Bolognese and it tasted awful Elia added Bologna no it tastes awful
00:06:52| with the Bologna my family members got sick thanks dad
00:06:59| it's on you I think you're filler that you look your family's an entirety of
00:07:05| three people right so everyone got sick so I do want to make a quick correction
00:07:20| I said my bank ATM number was seven six five eight I wouldn't tell you guys my
00:07:28| back number it's six seven five eight it's my mom's birthday so this is
00:07:34| Sussman well that's her maiden name now it's not so no big deal
00:07:37| I guess that's I shouldn't tell you guys everything yeah it's some of the numbers
00:07:43| are my Sosh in let's start with two zero nine and go from there it's a little
00:07:52| correction where did you feel me damn it wouldn't eat my yeah where did you meet
00:08:06| your mate for the first time that's always the question I like Dan answer
00:08:09| and you will ever get really serious about it and then I say have you ever
00:08:13| done one that's like um you have to answer two or three security questions
00:08:17| yeah and you get annoying but they can be like came right well one time there
00:08:22| was just one I had an answer for it was like where is your whites whatever and I
00:08:28| was like married and one was like what was your first pet's where did you get
00:08:33| your first pet or something else if I don't know it was the woods the woods
00:08:37| gonna write the wood didn't mean it was like some fear - yeah it's the weirdest
00:08:41| thing it was like what was your 6th grade favorite teacher and I was like I
00:08:46| don't know hey when they don't make it so it's
00:08:51| definitive like what is your youngest child's birthday it's like well I could
00:08:54| have more than one or two this might come changing back into the fact later
00:09:02| in the episode but when I started taking out all my school loans for college
00:09:07| mm-hm and they accept like a five letter password like like password they really
00:09:11| go this isn't good enough we know use that one so do you know what
00:09:15| I did I changed all my passwords to either one of two things for all my
00:09:19| loans you can log in right now and pay for me I actually I think I had to
00:09:22| change him again but it was always f you spelled out if you want because I'd have
00:09:28| a number and the other one was not paying one it was but nothing it's
00:09:33| really funny when I would be like locked out and they'd be like what is your
00:09:36| password like hmm I know TEP a y ing maybe like not paying one like you said
00:09:45| it not me anyway oh I used to do that for all my questions where they'll let
00:09:51| you type it in am i right in not sure so whenever they ask me the question I go
00:09:56| up not sure oh ok sir and then they asked me a second one I'm like I think
00:10:04| you know the answer he's like I'm not sure I given what I have to change that
00:10:15| for all of my passwords now explain a lot of our passwords to a lot of
00:10:20| accounts just my bank I'm not terribly worried a couple of loans a couple of
00:10:25| socials if you figured all out just look up my property taxes and just click pay
00:10:30| enter in your credit card everything will take care of itself
00:10:34| email I always get is like five minutes after I make a payment on one of my bank
00:10:39| cards or Amazon card or whatever it's like did you know someone made a payment
00:10:45| to your account this is alert I'm always like don't even
00:10:49| send me that I mean honest no one fan you're losing money yeah
00:10:54| no I'm gaining money someone made a payment you maybe
00:11:00| yes oh if someone else broke into play cows like let's pay his loans offshore
00:11:10| account like it I mean we got him he's gonna be so confused like damn you
00:11:15| hackers add exactly why I brought up my properties actives cuz they're public
00:11:19| and there's no way they don't even ask you to sign in there's no like reference
00:11:23| really you can just look up anyone donating works in pay anyone hey that's
00:11:28| pretty good you must be what start paying some
00:11:33| property taxes I want to find the lowest property tax on the entire list and just
00:11:39| say yeah okay legs in he's like actually probably
00:11:48| good yeah little smirk or a smile I do I do have a lot of small one but it's kind
00:12:02| of a dad joke was there this giant warehouse that's filled with like home
00:12:07| goods it's not the store I'm goods but it's something similar
00:12:12| no it's called at home I'll say cuz that's very generic anyway cuz I could
00:12:17| be anywhere it's not at my home yeah it was a giant warehouse two filled with
00:12:21| like tons of stuff in the one corner there's pictures there's a picture of a
00:12:26| horse and I was walking with my wife when I go it itself and she just looks
00:12:31| she looks at me like huh I was like of me I'm a stallion and then she was like
00:12:39| shaking her head and then like I was like oh they have you too and like right
00:12:42| next to the horse at a picture of a pig not good time got a good classic
00:13:05| yeah that's my smile and smirk I guess a little bit left so my girlfriend drives
00:13:12| a 2014 Toyota Land Cruiser so what's a lane troop now the one above
00:13:22| the middle one yeah it's not the rat for one above that okay I later
00:13:29| thank you Eileen that's I knew Land was in there somewhere so I gotta work she's
00:13:36| gotta go to work no big deal start at the car doing kid
00:13:41| stuff getting him into the car she probably beats him I think she beats him
00:13:47| gets him in the car everyone's finally in the car everything's locked up she
00:13:51| can finally get the hell out of here she goes to put it in reverse but it won't
00:13:55| get out of park so she says it's the weirdest thing ever she had to this is
00:14:00| crazy turns it off that's what that's what she thought I'll bet in my mind
00:14:05| turns it off turns it back on this is easy he's crap the damn thing looking to
00:14:11| reverse right mm-hmm goes nope it's not going nothing's happened before she
00:14:18| freaks out cause everyone she knows me the governor isn't in the United States
00:14:23| she hasn't once peed them she googles it and apparently underneath
00:14:28| the where this knee of them the Chester is hey you can pop it off all cars have
00:14:35| this I believe it's a manual override in case something's wrong with the
00:14:39| electronics or something then you need to get your car into neutral it's like a
00:14:42| safety thing so she googled just do this at least make sure your cars get into
00:14:46| the neutral she takes it off pops a little screwdriver hits a little button
00:14:50| and it won't even go into neutral like that's best and she just drove this car
00:14:56| yesterday parked it in the driveway kids gotta go to day care if she's gotta go
00:15:02| to work this is bizarre I ended up Colts her
00:15:05| stepdad he used to be mechanic he lets everyone know 10 times calls my
00:15:09| brother-in-law he is a mechanic yeah now everyone's involved I'm finding
00:15:13| out about this an hour later everyone's converging on the house like all these
00:15:17| people and did you check to make sure it was on
00:15:20| yeah check the pictures on each one's reaching out it's not a transmission
00:15:24| lever is it a transmission lever reach into the transmission I rechecked the
00:15:29| transmission it go be the lever did you make sure it's on like
00:15:32| everyone's double-checking everything eight times she's going nuts she's
00:15:35| googling things do we gave up had to call Toyota it's under some kind of
00:15:41| warranty anyway doesn't even bring it to my brother-in-law's shop whatever it son
00:15:46| whatever she gets a call like six hours later cars good it's ready done okay can
00:15:52| someone tell me what I issue with the lever or something I don't know
00:15:59| so we go there was a walnut or the park release lever I say excuse me
00:16:09| there was a walnut inside your car right where the lever goes down like it's a
00:16:17| mechanical moment which is blocked by the walnut I said nope the wall nonlin
00:16:23| put that in there could have been it at home well diagnostics everything else
00:16:32| will be 139 bucks no we threw it out we were gonna frame it we're gonna make it
00:16:49| with spray painted gold and call the golden walnut next person has their car
00:16:54| breakdown great on the side of the highway someone breaks down you pull
00:16:58| over and you're like I'm here to save you here's the golden walnut but I do
00:17:03| them in the drive off I don't know what happened I guess a squirrel climbed up
00:17:10| in there drop the walnut at the exact spot because there's not room to drop
00:17:17| things are there right no no but squirrels are habitual seeking you gotta
00:17:21| watch that squirrel man we know they back there well next time for the the
00:17:26| park leaver walnut issue it was funny in the write-up the the computer pronounced
00:17:31| that they do in the shop there was a walnut over something and I
00:17:35| was really all the people were like this is hilarious and I'm like this is
00:17:39| expensive why would why wouldn't they say like it was their fault like they
00:17:44| shouldn't design a car so you could stick something in that shift lever I
00:17:50| mean could you stick something between the wheels like a giant 8-foot pipe that
00:17:55| ran across it would mess up the car like why would they do that
00:18:00| between the tires and that's enough you would imagine no one's gonna drop the
00:18:04| walnut right where it did so I don't know quite a smirk funny little anyway
00:18:11| comment my dad made on Facebook shout out my dad Oh ultra down close he said
00:18:19| um bet you'll think twice when swerving next time you're driving and you see a
00:18:24| squirrel anyway check your uh park leave a release thing for a while not if
00:18:39| you're stuck in your driveway how would you react to this scenario please please
00:18:53| do it you're given a pill that will give you all the knowledge in the world but
00:19:00| you also get all the emotions in the world
00:19:03| you take the pill oh think so your life's over you can't really go back to
00:19:11| normal right probably you'd never be you don't surprise me I think you like glow
00:19:19| and all of a sudden like to shoot at all your body parts and I don't think you
00:19:23| can really I mean November 1 up that emotion we're then intellect or that
00:19:28| feeling so you're kind of on a downslide from their own art right cause do you
00:19:33| think the average of motion is negative neutral
00:19:37| if you're experiencing them all I don't know that it matters
00:19:40| it's like overload like you can only experience so much pain I think that
00:19:43| it's just like a ridiculous amount that's just blank it's like your body
00:19:48| can't process it now what if the pill wore off in like 24 hours you can always
00:19:53| I was expecting five minutes oh my god shipping flight out of your body and
00:19:59| experiencing all the emotions all intellect everything in the world
00:20:03| the legs are levitating in the sky and disappear forever I'm saying no what
00:20:09| good can come of it I mean afterwards could you make money and then still be
00:20:14| chasing some sort of high that you'll never catch again if you really enjoy it
00:20:19| yeah it's emotions so powerful the more powerful and loving your own children
00:20:25| right so you're like you're like you're like that's great good I've experienced
00:20:34| the love of star-crossed lovers who you know face adversity and triumphed over
00:20:39| evil and found themselves in the true embrace of God and others and he's like
00:20:43| I built this for you and you're like like I mean everything's damn there it's
00:20:50| all faded I mean you you reach your glowing point there and it's everything
00:20:54| else was kind of like a village elder who gets like blown into a like a wisp
00:20:59| all pile of leaves that go into the sky and then like you have a cloud after
00:21:05| that you're not gonna chase that high but but you're smart enough not to like
00:21:15| a second one for you which is sort of similar shake you got a second one now
00:21:20| or should you get later you later all right
00:21:23| the answer might change of course the episode so give room to breathe here
00:21:29| sure I had one for you just a full hour this one
00:21:36| I have no idea what you're gonna go with this see let's see let's say you wake up
00:21:43| tomorrow you're your exact age which might not make sense you're in your
00:21:47| exact living conditions which might not make sense
00:21:50| you have all the money the family everyone's the same age around you you
00:21:55| have a podcast called the IMP Anders anything but you wake up and without a
00:21:59| doubt everyone around you rises and you realize that the date is September 10th
00:22:14| there's gonna be a turn like what what would you do I mean I can you just could
00:22:22| probably shave a whole bunch of lives like if you were the problem whatever
00:22:26| you do you're gonna be associated with it somehow they're gonna blame you
00:22:30| regardless country that they had WMDs I mean they're not gonna blink it blaming
00:22:35| one guy nothing cuz that's pretty crazy too I mean you get here if you one day
00:22:44| so you don't realize the fire alarm in uh the twin tower which wait which I
00:22:51| don't even know which everywhere they took out of took off out of I really
00:22:55| don't I don't I don't I don't know that either so like you wouldn't be nice if
00:22:59| you could get to the Twin Towers before they hit then you could pull the fire
00:23:03| alarm but the buildings and then whatever evidence that you pulled the
00:23:07| fire alarm would be destroyed right but people would be out of the building but
00:23:11| it'd be so crazy well do you have to get a one-day ticket
00:23:16| to New York where you are you would is that possible let's do it alright you
00:23:21| drive continuously wait drive and dude you really yeah you get to the building
00:23:29| and he'd be like ah and then you slowly slink out of there I mean if someone
00:23:34| sees you pull it don't they just like say like it's false alarm gang I just
00:23:38| tell everyone to go back in and they're like you you're a big trouble start
00:23:40| we're gonna find you you're like you don't understand really there's I mean
00:23:47| with one day there's not a lot you can do oh my god unless you bought a gun and
00:23:56| you went to like the middle of the building and started shooting wild like
00:24:00| but knew you were gonna hit anyone and they'll evacuate
00:24:04| you buy a sniper rifle you go up on the roof and you snipe the pilot as he tries
00:24:09| to hit the building though you have that someone was coming let's let's also
00:24:15| think about that roadwork it's possible I'm done I mean there's no one you can
00:24:27| call that would be able to do anything right that's my solution no I don't
00:24:31| think so would you follow the airport if you did know which one was I feel like
00:24:36| super met these people I'm telling you something Bad's gonna happen oh oh you
00:24:40| could say you were involved in it I'm turning on them
00:24:43| hi guys you're gonna die anyway if anyone knows that you're associated with
00:24:47| some sort of plot you're gonna be killed there's no way you're gonna be in like
00:24:51| one time oh no quite I can't say one time I can't say Guantanamo there you go
00:24:58| I say an extra syllable brother record you hate going 11 though or you love it
00:25:04| the King Kong for the record I hate it okay all right leave it at that I mean
00:25:22| we couldn't win for a whole day but you know what it reminds me of um 12 monkeys
00:25:25| a little bit even involves an airport right that's Bruce walls steel set girl
00:25:34| and I run to the airport to stop something from happening and he ends up
00:25:38| getting shot the airport and he sees himself as a kid getting shot at the
00:25:41| airport but the real person carrying the virus was someone else and there's a
00:25:46| virus but like him running to the airport and causing commotion actually
00:25:50| caused the issue or just break out so it's like can rewatch that one it's
00:25:56| actually a very good movie did a band-aid I'm right yeah I think I
00:26:00| watched it two times when I wasn't fully focused on it
00:26:08| for essence was burden my wife I'm not on my way I was gonna keep my intro no
00:26:23| no I just bounced like world-class strike down a little
00:26:28| I'm slamming a you need a shock Madrid okay what's the podcast
00:26:34| no it's podcasts bare-bones just getting over my cold and time I wanna have the
00:26:46| best voice possible for a next segment it's the one people people stop me on
00:26:52| the street and they're covered in blood no one can even discern what happened to
00:26:57| them their clothes are tattered people just scream and grabbed me by my shirt
00:27:04| in front of my everyone screaming people are stopping their cars and they're like
00:27:09| it's time celebrity challenge it's beautiful or
00:27:20| just stayed you have one I actually have one but you can go ahead actually I
00:27:33| don't know it depends on I haven't seen Alyssa Milano in a while and christina
00:27:40| applegate they're both you know I don't know what they meet like anymore
00:27:47| yeah the limelight is no longer there but that's okay what I'm asking for is
00:27:52| there a ghost what's that yeah I was thinking maybe if they
00:28:00| thought of the un-- panderers gave a shot it's like a really seductive look
00:28:05| with it unpaid or and we choose which one was the most
00:28:09| seductive lose steal the tiara it's um I just watch that to brew it's
00:28:31| funny as hell I haven't tasted time workers really I I it it it stands the
00:28:37| test of time that Lee does really good 2001 I think
00:28:45| it's only in high school between one and four are you sure cuz I looked it up
00:28:50| while I was googling I was surprised by all the people in it
00:28:54| do you remember the two model roommates of his that say like do you think he's
00:29:00| heard of styling gel Mekas earth to brint
00:29:03| of course he's heard of high styling gel gym and then at the end they both heard
00:29:06| and they're like you know what you need an orange mocha frappuccino well there's
00:29:11| two of them right that say this yeah yeah the one on the left is to dude who
00:29:16| plays the sexy guy nail and everything he was a True Blood uh Eric from True
00:29:21| Blood he like he's always bare chested um I don't know his name is like
00:29:26| Skarsgard skarsgård really that's the that's the guy it's like C 2011 he was
00:29:43| Mekas the DJ he ended up marrying Jennifer Aniston what yes the BT the
00:30:04| ugly dude with the like the face nail yeah if you look at me looks like a
00:30:08| normal good-looking dude it's like that movie was casting I see Rufus oh oh dude
00:30:17| do you remember hold on uh so I called this when I was watching it I figured it
00:30:20| out without looking it up and I looked it up to verify do you know the UM the
00:30:25| girl who's giving him the massage while he's nude and smacking his bun oh yeah
00:30:28| she has like the Chinn big head she's ridiculously gross
00:30:33| looking and she's going do you know that no idea that is Andy Dick really that
00:30:41| guy's an asshole I know but that's so fun I was looking at it
00:30:46| that's like Andy Dick I was like oh he would play a woman smacking his butt
00:30:52| with the unibrow and everything Olga yes not go up I've heard horrible stories
00:31:01| about Andy Dick it's just like he just yeah he's thing called jason Ellis is a
00:31:06| podcast good friends to the podcast you know shout out Jo
00:31:10| wolf knives we get him here your teamwork but anyway uh I hear him come
00:31:26| on the podcast he's always trying to be cool with everybody's like he's like a
00:31:29| Joe Rogan podcast but like he's more cool I think more cool it's impossible
00:31:37| what are you talking about it that's with you but uh yeah Andy Dick like
00:31:43| would try and get clean off drugs and everything and he would come on and then
00:31:46| he'd be like ah that's cool and he'd be cool with him for a while but then he's
00:31:48| like why do you do this he's like man fu and little like ugly and weird and it's
00:31:54| probably got issues like abuse issues like not just oh yeah big head stop
00:31:59| there's like a reality show where he lived in the back of his ex-wife's yard
00:32:04| and he was in like a little shed he's like check out my crib it's got like a
00:32:08| bed door I just want a sexy seductive stare sultry and panders sultry
00:32:30| definitely add all the sexiness as much sexiness that you could bring worthless
00:32:35| donate money to a charity if I saw them at OH
00:32:39| definitely some charity for abused women seriously we could we could I'll begin
00:33:01| let me give the word of the day here because it they need in there I'm sure
00:33:06| yeah we're getting close we're today will it make sure saying
00:33:11| those correctly is a sweater a smart one smart the would tear my it's gonna big
00:33:22| smart water but it's met swart looter it's an embezzler who please
00:33:30| hurry up stop him he's a smart voter he is sounds like in a word I guess like
00:33:35| the origins in like Sweden's it does sound Swedish but I am not sure if it is
00:33:40| I didn't go that far but you know it was a crazy word and it might apply to our
00:33:48| next segment yes it's recovering skin ain't on men
00:33:57| good thing mr. Nick which of the many topics would you like to all his letters
00:34:06| on a paper I don't know if it had words or not I can't touch it there were 13
00:34:11| words on there so I have 13 words to add to this let's go deep oh I have a big
00:34:17| listing here I forgot to tell you that I put this all in a sauna which we like
00:34:22| actually saw it about 20 minutes before I started I was like I was like I also
00:34:29| found out a sauna is a yoga pose which was hold on a second let's find out I'm
00:34:38| kind of curious because I heard it on a server podcast for the register to all
00:34:41| the time yeah the Junior Joe Rogan podcast
00:34:51| whisper seductively oh let's see here I can't why do they
00:34:55| Google give you tiny images that you have to then blow up and say Google it's
00:34:59| not this is not acceptable Google's blow up your spot yeah you
00:35:04| can't search it oh there's like so many why did they choose a guy as the model
00:35:09| it's strange I like that look on your face it's so thick your joy is mine your
00:35:17| lack of doing I I can't tell there's a lot of there's like Taytay asana Jenna
00:35:26| Sanne abhava Sanne the one is like he's standing on one foot with his leg on top
00:35:31| of the other knee and going like this like it's like Oh God I would break
00:35:37| myself in some fashion the easiest one is the Baba husana which is arms like
00:35:43| this and he's crouching like a frog yeah ankle on knee and then arm up an arm
00:35:51| straight down hip flexor opener right there baby yeah yeah except he knows
00:36:00| he's on his toes yeah I know it flexors roommate who complained about it all the
00:36:05| time every goalie I've known is retired because of hip flexors and pornography
00:36:18| yeah the hip is key for masturbating so I never did it to him stop myself from
00:36:28| choking that's art the record show that was a two-hand don't choke mm-hmm like a
00:36:41| bottle of mouthwash when you down the end what say no it's good mmm
00:36:48| a drinking college called plaque free pleasure it was a Listerine
00:36:56| with a little bit of water and a little bit of vodka Oh No
00:37:00| the idea was that we get you messed up fast but also to whiten your smile and
00:37:06| freshen your breath no and this is the story so this was a small event
00:37:13| oh yeah we did a lot freshman year um me and Tom moved right across from the RA
00:37:21| Bret Bret was terrible all right I love Brett dude that he was like you
00:37:28| know he's like supposed to make sure nobody's drinking no he's breaking the
00:37:31| rules and I'm like oh we're right across from me all right dude our funs over
00:37:35| this is awful like our daughter looks at his door he's gonna be the worst well I
00:37:42| was like hey Bret we got mouthwash are you gonna bust us for drinking that and
00:37:47| he the first day cuz I was just messing with him and he said I'll give you a
00:37:52| dollar for every shot of mouth while she do right here and I said are you sure
00:37:56| and I did seven shots a minute I start going sick and he literally was gonna be
00:38:02| seven dollars and he was like listen I can't get in trouble and he followed me
00:38:06| to the bathrooms like do you have to throw up I was like no good guys from
00:38:09| drunk he's like you probably gonna throw up don't tell anyone he was like really
00:38:13| worried he's gonna lose his job and I was like do you have the seven bucks
00:38:18| from then on uh we had a wonderful relationship he ended up buying US beer
00:38:22| by the end of the year so me like it was sweet it was sweet deal and you were 18
00:38:28| time yeah whatever you go to college freshman here eighteen seventeen
00:38:33| thirteen so we're like you don't know what what also was really funny about
00:38:38| Brett oh fuck so one of my other roommates bed will call him he had a
00:38:45| class the three of us had class at like early Tuesday Thursday Samaritan yeah
00:38:52| well Brett be the goofy was the mere RA but I'm a goof - he crouched down behind
00:38:59| Ben and went in the hallway one time and I was like hey bad and I pushed them
00:39:04| like you know jokingly like I wasn't really I mean for some but he happening
00:39:08| - putting his coat so he went like this he like just like
00:39:14| damaged a nerve in his shoulder and he started screaming and like we're like we
00:39:31| go to the ER everything me Brett Ben and he's like I'm so sorry we can drive my
00:39:37| car great great break we get checked out he missed like three weeks at school we
00:39:43| handle like a home for a week or two like it was serious issue so that class
00:39:47| that I wake up at 7:30 to go to as a lecture hall and that two-week period um
00:39:53| teacher was like in your one of your big three exams 33 percent of your grade was
00:39:58| this week and he was like I can't make it my RA pushed me you know he broke my
00:40:02| arm I have a Rick node it from a doctor I'm home for a week
00:40:06| and the teacher I'll say is paddy Lorenz was like no you can't do that and he was
00:40:13| like no no I mean he just pushed me broke my arm I'll be back he's like I
00:40:16| don't play funny games you're gonna gonna take that credit and I still just
00:40:28| you probably hate Brett but I hate the teacher Wow it's funny how you tell
00:40:33| stories and I like I remember two things from the studio Tenma I know Ben I met
00:40:39| Ben first time I met him he's like we have uh what protocol playing in the
00:40:44| next room like he was talking about uh what's the name of the band
00:40:49| yeah there's a product retreat yeah poor country just like trying to sound cool
00:40:56| he's like hey we got it over here but uh first thing the first time I knew
00:41:07| Listerine had alcohol in it I was like said we have to like we have to keep
00:41:13| this locked up because grandma a little bit oh yeah her grand mom would drink
00:41:19| Listerine to get get a buzz going well I figured
00:41:22| something out when I did those seven shots and got $7 yeah I did actually
00:41:26| throw but um different drunk and it hits you quicker I guess it's kind of alcohol
00:41:32| is it it's not probably the sores it makes in your stomach gets right to your
00:41:36| bloodstream they would take us oh yeah but uh no like it would make you drunk
00:41:45| and then it would wear off like within ten minutes it was the weirdest thing so
00:41:50| like you'd be drunk for a little bit like 15 minutes ten minutes it was like
00:41:54| weird that you'd be like I'm good who do you like time you're buzzed
00:41:59| exactly like you're gonna have a five minute and 42 second buzz right now as
00:42:04| soon as you do this and this is like okay and then you you're super drunk for
00:42:08| that before 1:42 great well no because you have to do it like 2:00 a.m. but
00:42:15| assuming before a family event hmm Thanksgiving her son he'll be good one
00:42:21| like break break the ice I always breakers just like everyone
00:42:28| ready to go back to working like yeah I didn't do any drugs why but I feel like
00:42:36| you get that with drugs more than alcohol right not necessarily like
00:42:42| smoking your things I don't know that you can time something like I feel like
00:42:46| if you do well I've never done like the micro dosing acid they do and Silicon
00:42:51| Valley but I feel like that's got a hard time maybe I'm making that up anyone who
00:42:57| does micro dosing acid post in the comments yeah
00:43:01| is there a CIA logo please I don't care they're really not watching this channel
00:43:09| we don't have that more than four or hey are yeah it's called 911 there they've
00:43:17| gone back in time they know 9/11 the other story that you you made me pop in
00:43:23| my my brain it's a freshman year like the first two weeks like sometimes like
00:43:28| though my roommate sucked so I didn't know anybody and I couldn't be like hey
00:43:32| Ben oh yeah let's go there yeah my guy was
00:43:37| literally like on the weekends he'd dress up as a Boy Scout and run a pride
00:43:43| Klan Wolf Pack I don't know what they're called
00:43:47| oh yeah Cub Scouts really he dressed up like a Boy Scout we did something really
00:43:55| narrow no no I was she's really good he was study was still not a good
00:43:59| roommate but so eventually I went out on my own I went to this party where there
00:44:04| had ever clear in a bottle that everyone was sharing so I got smashed on
00:44:09| Everclear I got like so fucked up to the next day
00:44:13| I thought it was just the Everclear but it turns out I got mono from the same
00:44:16| thing and then I missed two weeks yeah I missed two weeks you always know the
00:44:23| kids that got mono like you hear about it you're like you come on mom I'll fuck
00:44:29| you up I don't remember anything from that time period except waking up for
00:44:32| like ten minute periods and go back to sleep so like you lose like almost 30%
00:44:37| of your mass like your muscle mass is completely gone
00:44:40| I also had an asshole teacher I came back to literally the dad came back like
00:44:47| we must have had like 20 desks 20 students and he said oh let's go gather
00:44:51| the desks around in a circle and I tried to lift a desk and we couldn't lift it
00:44:55| oh I was sitting on the far end yes I tried to pull it into the middle and
00:45:04| like the desk was making this horrible screeches the whole time and that
00:45:11| teacher gave me like I think like a C's like the worst grade I got but I think
00:45:15| he'd tool it he thought I was deliberately doing it to mother so he
00:45:24| was he's never had a C before he's going crazy no I do
00:45:32| he made a paper for everything that I had missed - it wasn't a book that I
00:45:37| didn't read he made me read it didn't fail me
00:45:42| that's true then it fails forgetting medically injured by his RA and his
00:45:48| friend shoutout then good job man statue limitations you
00:45:57| cannot sue us now Sue's us in retrospect for a class that has nothing to do with
00:46:03| his life he's like I received to death in certain class
00:46:06| I think that's enforceable I don't know what would give me like I would have a
00:46:12| different job now if I had gotten credit for that cut whoa whoa it was a story
00:46:16| told on the end panderers so I'm gonna sue the others as a duo like I like the
00:46:24| soundtrack to be prodigal by porcupine tree to showed an offender my view and
00:46:29| cool like do guys cool it's dude it's games in continental main topic now that
00:46:42| we had our little tangent there o-over thanks for joining us folks let's rattle
00:46:53| them all I just make sure you send us an email with your bank account numbers so
00:46:59| that we could just route our own money that's called phishing just send it to
00:47:03| us don't worry about it perfect is fishing always neat to parties
00:47:12| how would you won't do one party that's not hacking like it's not like I can
00:47:17| figure your bank account oh my oh that's not phishing phishing is worried
00:47:22| shingles like you have you bait a hook and then you had to wait for I'm gonna
00:47:25| grab and and catch phishing is not the same as phishing it's its way exactly
00:47:46| yeah it's where you paid a person into the time I got married female
00:47:53| she thought she was he wasn't no bigger one - I don't think
00:48:02| there needs to be show on MTV but I think someone got in trouble for that
00:48:05| one if you were and I in college there was actually shows that we're
00:48:10| interesting I guess they wasn't really that interesting but they're different I
00:48:17| think I missed a sentence you never watched catch catfish on oh I love
00:48:22| occasionally it wasn't my interesting show why was it that good well I don't
00:48:27| know if it was that great but it was always you know it was an aspect of life
00:48:30| that had just begun and people were many people to believe them emotionally you
00:48:41| don't have to see a person right I mean mail email by 12 or 13 whoa Oh were you
00:48:49| supposed to meet yeah somebody sent like really attractive pictures of like at 12
00:48:54| or 13 year old and I don't I'm not gonna judge that because it's weird to begin
00:48:58| with this she was smoking when I was 12 and 13 so we've all been there dead
00:49:16| anyway wait no this is very no I don't know if
00:49:21| I told you this but uh but but hey we're good but like I never I never met the
00:49:28| person because they said they were in a is actually in Philadelphia in
00:49:31| Norristown really yeah so I was like I think that person must have been an
00:49:38| older gentleman who was trying to lure me in obviously the buzz like he told me
00:49:44| his address and told me to go there and that yeah okay I think it was like a
00:49:52| might have been a real place but it's what's weird as like it was I look back
00:49:57| as a 12 or 13 year old I'm taking like you know my hormones are just starting
00:50:01| to blossom and I'm like interested in whatever whoever will let
00:50:05| me do whatever you know so you are at an age where a chat room right yeah it was
00:50:14| like all new me hopping on the aim camera regulated the Wild West of you
00:50:19| know you could say whatever how are you worried you're gonna hook up with
00:50:23| whoever the hell you wanted send a hot sexy JPEG like the long as it was low
00:50:28| file a little bit dude yeah let me download it in a day and I'll check you
00:50:33| out get back here you tomorrow well think
00:50:36| about it technology was probably easier to
00:50:39| download a random picture than it was to take a picture upload it to your
00:50:42| computer and then upload it to someone right at that low quality that easy to
00:50:47| it was easier to take an already-existing k peg i anchor to if
00:50:53| you already could find it on the internet you could have a collage of
00:50:57| that person so if you want to pretend to be something it was more your people are
00:51:02| malleable back then too right otherwise you have to scan pictures right there
00:51:06| was no way to just insert a picture than puter prove it
00:51:12| you can get a picture with up with a real camera and then scanning it and
00:51:18| then uploading it oh my god so here do you ever do um like it sounds creepy
00:51:36| saying secret boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever obviously girlfriend or guys
00:51:40| but like you you were in like a conversation relationship with a girl or
00:51:46| - you mean like an online relationship when you're younger I would say yes I
00:51:52| probably was in like 12 of them look compact like I was they were all pretty
00:51:57| like real casual like like yeah I like sports - or like man parents are the
00:52:04| worst you're cool you talk better than most girls like you know I mean like
00:52:08| that's the whole conversation it's like a couple topics or did you go crazy were
00:52:14| you like man I would touch that clitoris like it was nothing like you crack open
00:52:22| an encyclopedia Encarta and be like man get to your erogenous zones the barrio
00:52:29| your parents first mom can I use the enjoy opt to look at clitoris yes even
00:52:39| as a 12 year old 11 year old 13 year old wanted to meet these girls like I never
00:52:45| was like horned up like yeah I'm gonna meet Sarah chow down for four one and
00:52:51| like it was never oh I was always like like it's a it's an ideal I like to keep
00:52:57| it on the internet on the screen and like have a fake relationship with it I
00:53:01| don't know it was really I didn't think it was a guy or whatever really 50 year
00:53:04| old man I don't know I don't know I don't know it's worse because now people
00:53:09| who do that have like you know there's gonna be video there's gonna be Twitter
00:53:13| there's gonna be people we were nothing he placed from before I was like 18
00:53:20| please that's gone Oh Oh you're saying a record of it yeah
00:53:25| there's no record so I can't look back at my own chat log and be like oh God
00:53:30| I may be a well has that stored somewhere right no idea I don't even
00:53:37| think they had the space to see them all the chance that happened that's weird
00:53:40| it's crazy to think of all those chats have disappeared
00:53:43| creeper chats but also awesome but also weird hold on here's the weirdest
00:53:50| thought of all this is a this is a sanitarium for yet are you
00:53:56| you're like a 51 year old man pretending to be a boy who wants to meet a girl but
00:54:05| you're pretty sure these girls are 51 year old pervert men right you have a
00:54:11| loophole to get to that this is the similar impact personalities you well
00:54:15| seriously they didn't have FBI plans right to try and weed out child
00:54:20| molesters I think they did this is a realtors Hansen like you sit down me
00:54:24| like I've always wanted to meet you Chris Hansen FBI agents that would like
00:54:30| pretend to be either teenage boys or girls be like yeah I'll meet you like
00:54:34| whatever like they're trying to weed it out you think they gave him an address
00:54:37| and when they saw that they were actually a 12 year old boy they'd be
00:54:40| like like this kid and thinking it's like a man and they're trying to capture
00:54:52| them and these web of words and like I'm gonna get you pervert and it's like huh
00:54:57| man she is funny for a pervert and then like the next day they're like she's
00:55:02| gonna say it again I love her she's so funny and then
00:55:05| looking well whatever and then like a week later they realize like it was just
00:55:09| a little girl they're like I don't want to end the conversation she's so much
00:55:12| fun like they had like this real link and they were in there really I got cut
00:55:19| it off now I got work to do but seriously email me like they're having a
00:55:28| really good FBI agent fall in love with a teenager would it happen
00:55:36| I don't know it could happen I'm gonna write with scream but if only I mean
00:55:44| maybe they wait two years they're in Alabama this is the object piece because
00:55:56| it goes back to the 1990s - did you write the damn story about the FBI agent
00:56:08| that fell in love with a real 12 year old he's gonna take that story and run
00:56:12| with it tomorrow Anders that's okay I'm gonna go real big though here so there's
00:56:35| no what are you drinking there the blue sky I wouldn't say that's what I'm
00:56:43| drinking I'm saying that but I was holding earlier so the company frauds
00:56:49| like Enron and Rogers had like they were a stock that was valued at like 90
00:56:56| something dollars and then a year later down to one dollar because they cheated
00:57:00| in their accounting you know how does that work how many details you know
00:57:07| about that I know that they hired an accounting firm to be like an
00:57:12| independent party but they're manipulating the independent party -
00:57:15| Darryl ate the wrong fax debt so okay so they did have debt so
00:57:22| the real value was closer to $1.00 than the $90 yeah so that's a new debt that
00:57:27| was crushing oh really they told her only worth 90 and they
00:57:30| kind of were mm-hmm if you didn't count the debt the debt made them worth like
00:57:35| closer to $1 so what did all the are the golden parachute people do cuz we know
00:57:40| all the us don't sure tire actually I think he died in prison
00:57:45| oh yeah score one seriously suicide no I did
00:57:53| he's dead folks announcement from the on panders Kenneth what by Lele he died
00:58:04| unpay endures we put justice on a stick and we bring it to you there's my
00:58:10| expression that I'm gonna not even look these guys up because they're not even
00:58:15| worth our time frontiersmen sure so it's worth $90 were the top 40 guys that
00:58:25| you're talking about Kenneth why a bunch of other guys what do they do
00:58:29| are they selling their stock that day all at once and then announcing the
00:58:33| company went under look is that how this works I'd I assume they're making all
00:58:38| along and they know they're cheating so they're taking it out as they're
00:58:41| cheating and then when it finally the news comes out that they are cheating
00:58:45| their position is much lower than it would have been so they would have
00:58:50| already made their millions so then at that point they say sorry our company's
00:58:55| not worth anything we're out like our world and everyone goes I didn't know
00:59:00| anything and then it's like well we don't paper trail now write her down
00:59:04| that's good that's the one that's Ian it's cruise over Sandra rod was um what
00:59:09| year did you have a year for that cuz it was first time I've heard of corporate
00:59:14| like fuck over E is that up yeah that was I mean it was in Houston I think it
00:59:22| was 2001 all happened to though cousin was a hell of a year
00:59:30| yeah that's crazy another crash come up soon so yeah on that scale there's
00:59:38| another one like the Fannie Mae the subprime mortgages so these are their
00:59:42| big ones it's just that they had all those
00:59:46| derivative products that were like leverage and leverage and leverage so
00:59:49| then I'll have like a multiple that made it like crush them even more where they
00:59:53| had that garbage asset you wish that subprime asset was the one who's holding
00:59:58| your your not mortgage but school loan I only
01:00:04| understood one word school loan those two words so I mean essentially they had
01:00:12| an asset that was worth nothing and they pumped it up to make it seem like it was
01:00:15| worth a lot how do they do that just by word of mouth like fake accounting
01:00:19| primer see they kept like putting smokin me or smoking mirrors until the last
01:00:24| thing was like oh this is something that's pretty good and then all these
01:00:27| people put money into it and then when it finally the smoke cleared everything
01:00:31| turned to shit and they're like wow how do you smoke something like I'm I'm not
01:00:38| a financial guy so I don't most of out on purse as I would call them big fans
01:00:43| you package and rename it's multiple times to make it seem like it's
01:00:47| something different than it is in layman's terms I understand that but
01:00:52| like so um corporate glass has been rebranded as um failsafe anonymous has
01:01:02| been rebranded as Branson incorporated has been rebranded as on ffense
01:01:07| poly leaf incorporated and it's worth way more and like is that what they're
01:01:12| doing looked exchanging name and it's and every time they say it their voice
01:01:15| raises a decibel or as you raise a key you notice this person changes however
01:01:20| so much is that I mean it's not a different business it's the same
01:01:33| business that's calling it something else
01:01:35| so you're repackaging crappy assets with like a little glimmer of diamond in that
01:01:41| pile of shit and then you shine on the diamond with the next package and then
01:01:46| at each time each each method yeah they call it margin so like at each each
01:01:51| portion of it like a smaller percentage of it is actual cash so but you just
01:01:58| focus on the smaller portion you just both it's like multiplying a dollar by
01:02:02| like a hundred and then multiplying by a thousand bucks invested and it's only
01:02:10| really worth not a dollar anymore it's like five
01:02:13| cents so you instead of losing yeah instead of like losing a dollar in a
01:02:17| thousand dollar bet you lose nine hundred and ninety five dollars like
01:02:22| nine hundred fifty bucks yeah that's exactly prime mortgages are really
01:02:29| uh-huh what's a reverse mortgage it's where you
01:02:34| get paid to have a mortgage because you're making money out of it but is it
01:02:39| the bank or whoever taking taking they're taking interest in whenever
01:02:45| you're getting money out of a but they don't any part of your house where they
01:02:51| the reverse mortgages is so you have a certain amount of money in your house
01:02:55| the reverse mortgage takes money out of the money that you have in your house
01:02:58| and gives you back to you at a certain interest rate okay so you're getting
01:03:02| your own money but losing interest yeah yeah yeah and I don't think that the
01:03:10| Fonz would approve of that that's not a scam but he's just flirting you know
01:03:14| like if you have a different I'm never drinking your own scams go we're talking
01:03:26| about the big corporate scam willing it down it's getting whittled down oh shit
01:03:36| I can't wait good then my face get really good did you read our watch wolf
01:03:43| of Wall Street thought fraud no no never didn't watch that no I um what's my
01:03:52| campus boys my life was ruined he's my he's my subprime mortgage so
01:03:59| he's a glowing diamond Wall Street did the same thing where they like if you
01:04:09| take a stock that worked it's worth ten bucks and you put all your money into it
01:04:13| it's gonna raise a little bit but the wolf of Wall Street actually pump more
01:04:16| money into it by advertising to people who didn't know anything and taking
01:04:21| their money and then pumping the err asset up and then selling way more
01:04:26| than it looked like originally it's going on and then they shat on everyone
01:04:30| who invested but they did it in like a Ponzi scheme style so that the people
01:04:35| who are actually putting in more money they pay them back with the money that
01:04:41| they so be quiet but you know what a Ponzi scheme is right what's your right
01:04:48| definitely scheme what you just said you are invest a lot of money and you fool
01:04:53| what you people and then at some point you start paying back the top people who
01:04:56| are helping you so they say listen getting money back from this thing keep
01:04:59| putting money in and then you start feeding a few people under them and
01:05:03| they're like listen everyone's getting money
01:05:05| this is just free money and they invite so many freebie people and you're like
01:05:10| gotta take all that money away by the way have a great day
01:05:13| yes am I correct ish yeah oh yeah the guy's name was actually Ponzi Ponzi it's
01:05:27| like the 1940s or some that in like icing on Z or pot see his pots II was
01:05:33| sort of Ralphie and pot see they were oh yeah yeah anyway yeah and Bernie manna
01:05:43| which everyone knows now because he was like yeah I was worth millions of
01:05:48| dollars already and they decided that they needed more millions Wow we saw the
01:05:51| UM the TV version dude he was he knew he was effed like months before it all
01:05:58| actually crashed so he would like similar to what the video you had me
01:06:05| watch mm-hmm he would like to spend nights just not sleeping like staring at
01:06:10| a blank wall that being like am i thinking over so
01:06:15| many people everyone's so effed the paper trail will catch up to us
01:06:19| we're so effed and then he would go back about his daily business but like crazy
01:06:25| stuff he almost put her on this is yeah spring
01:06:29| a little human in back into this little motion with the yeah so what I had you
01:06:34| watch was uh catch me if you can you can before we start that my comments
01:06:42| no absolutely not I just one of my eight words written down there's actually all
01:06:47| eight or from my dad so shout out my yeah he's made twice it's upset
01:06:53| there's a saying he always has if you can't dazzle them with brains
01:07:00| baffle them with bullshit I think that's a great thing is like oh oh that's
01:07:08| language I don't approve of that my son won't approve of that you're out of his
01:07:12| life forever and anyway disowned my dad he's not
01:07:15| allowed to talk to my kid talk to me he's out of my life
01:07:20| it sounds like you're baffling the impulsion dazzling me with braids but
01:07:28| good well he he also talked about how he would just like the present-day self of
01:07:35| Frank abhinaya which there's a if you searched YouTube for Frank Abagnale he
01:07:40| talks about there's fed talks 2013 he talks about what actually happened and
01:07:45| catch me if you can which is not yeah he talked about how he stayed up at night
01:07:52| and just staring into nothingness and his kids were like what's wrong with you
01:07:55| dad he's like I remember that what I really missed when I was doing all this
01:07:59| crazy scam egde so how is that way is that what kept him up he he was scamming
01:08:04| them as well real quick
01:08:08| I watched most of the video mm-hmm all of it was busy the beginning is the part
01:08:14| that makes more sense I think hold on so when you sent me the video I saw at the
01:08:20| end of his talk last three minutes I didn't understand it exactly oh it
01:08:24| started does it when I hear it doesn't it give you the last three minutes yes
01:08:27| yes where are you sure hold on it went to the next video which was him giving a
01:08:32| talk in another place oh yeah now I couldn't stop it I was doing dishes or
01:08:37| something that the video is playing or whatever and I know how the phone that's
01:08:39| fancy enough where I can be like hey phone replay that last video from the
01:08:44| beginning that's not that fancy I did you say oh I'm doing dishes I might as
01:08:49| well listen they gave a different speech but I
01:08:51| imagine it was the exact same speech yeah which made me think is this part of
01:08:57| the scam I mean the guys was gaming his whole life it
01:08:59| he was very there's a state employees like oh it's it's it's to complete of a
01:09:06| message he's like this well you know what I learned from scamming all these
01:09:10| people is you can't scan people you have to really look inside here you're
01:09:16| scamming yourself and everyone's like yeah and he's like so anyway if you
01:09:20| could donate to me to give one of these speeches again I will gladly give this
01:09:25| speech again you know we can't collect money on his stories here's a good money
01:09:31| from those speeches you just I mean he might get Feliz he's getting money
01:09:34| somewhere he's scamming him he's scamming his story and it's a real story
01:09:38| I'm not knocking the story it's a very good story
01:09:41| well there were there was research showing that like of his aliases that he
01:09:46| used they couldn't figure out in the past whether those aliases actually
01:09:50| existed or that they did the scams that he says they did what's too hard you did
01:09:55| it would like on Sam right he'll pick up the phone and call
01:09:59| Pentair pin is asleep pity and be like yeah yes pan-pan are you saying pad or
01:10:10| Pam pen and he'll be like yeah we lost our uniform man I've never had this
01:10:17| happen in the wash uh why are you just going I'm in Boston and we're gonna have
01:10:21| to fly here from Chicago it's too far I'm gonna get him one day and he would
01:10:25| go through his whole spiel like off the just toss bet and get people to send him
01:10:30| a new uniform and now I had a pilot's uniform I heard how he got um he begged
01:10:36| a pilot's ID yeah because he went to the printer conferences your freedom really
01:10:42| that good and they were like yeah huh we're gonna do this he's like Wilma
01:10:46| buyer for Pan Am and we don't know if you do that this good and they're like
01:10:50| oh yeah we do really good we do for Pan Am before he's like could you do though
01:10:54| say could you do me like in an ID and they were like oh we could do anyone let
01:10:59| me see it like this like well looks like me but can you can you forge
01:11:05| papers and say I fly airplanes you know II mean it was ridiculous please I guess
01:11:10| uh uh it sounds like there's a whole like his whole method of scamming people
01:11:16| was to fill out field I like the section field let's say like I mean you feel
01:11:20| Beale yes I mean old appropriate so his ich spiele was that he would fill
01:11:28| out a form of the record show I started to peel I know I know much peels I
01:11:36| created them so he would let you fill out a form and the form back then took
01:11:42| forever to validate so like he'd do it with you know getting uniforms getting
01:11:46| like IDs he'd get checks so he's like he said even like that he would go to like
01:11:53| the different airlines would cash checks up to hundred dollars so he'd go to each
01:11:57| individual airline each individual hotel and get the hundred dollars from each
01:12:00| one and by the time he was done he was eight hours later and there was a shift
01:12:04| change so he'd go back again and start again damn smart yep
01:12:09| that's called the the technology loop I believe yeah I made that term up but
01:12:15| works this is interesting I didn't think we're going here I didn't
01:12:22| want to go here I didn't need to go here let's delve in holy shit folks this is
01:12:31| an entirely unplanned this is an entirely unrelated
01:12:34| holy smokes box this is so weird this is destined for this podcast so
01:12:46| what's the biggest scam you ever done in your life I was going to ask you write
01:12:49| me person not yeah and not even scam like a rum
01:12:53| I would scam people out of in EverQuest whenever they needed my help
01:12:59| not whenever this is occasionally yeah maybe like I need you to stay here and
01:13:08| kill this one thing while I run over and kill this other guy and then this
01:13:11| thing's gonna drop if like he dropped like a digital item
01:13:16| dropped in front of me and I looked around and they weren't there I'd pick
01:13:19| it up and they'd come back they'd be like it drop and I'd be like no no what
01:13:29| happened I killed a guy I didn't drop anything so I got to do it again
01:13:36| stand right here well I go do the work again yep that's not a big scam that's
01:13:43| on scan that's not stealing money from a little time so oddly not the biggest
01:13:51| it's not a scam the biggest scam lie said weird so your bachelor party was in
01:14:04| New Orleans oh yeah oh but the weather was so bad that I couldn't make it
01:14:12| we were literally underneath your plane as the dot of your phone was hovering
01:14:17| above us and it was torrential downpour and everything was flooding around us
01:14:21| everything was floating like crazy there were storms going wild our plane made
01:14:26| the descent to land and New Orleans I'll say it like that like I've been there
01:14:31| I'm sure there I was within range you're there my man hands
01:14:35| vastra party and they pulled up at the last second citing weather issue and
01:14:42| storming and flooding and rain and downpour and crazy conditions it was
01:14:47| wild that night they thought the whole city was gonna flood they weren't gonna
01:14:52| lay in the plane everything was going on they flew us back to Houston in Texas
01:14:58| which you've been there before right it's ironic so they sent me from your
01:15:05| bachelor party back to where you lived so lay in the plane when they land in a
01:15:11| plane it was like 10:00 at night they did not plan on landing this plane one
01:15:16| of the dudes who I was sitting near was a farmer he barely spoke any English she
01:15:20| was from Eastern Europe I want to say who's Hungarian or something he was like
01:15:25| what does decent mean uh what happen and I was like
01:15:29| listen they after our plane they effed it up whatever people were panicking
01:15:35| people were like where do we stay what's going on who's gonna pay for it what's
01:15:39| going like it was chaos people were going nuts the airport was trying to
01:15:43| close down that night so certain segments were just black
01:15:47| there'll be no for like you know five minute walk and you'd be walking around
01:15:51| me like is anyone gonna help me hello I don't live in the airport I don't know
01:15:54| where I am help me so they gave us this weird
01:15:58| number and they're like listen just call this number and they had to physically
01:16:01| write it so must be a secret number or like you know get get through the
01:16:06| bullshit here's a real number yeah if you call
01:16:09| this number they know you really need help do what the Eastern European thing
01:16:14| was like I know speak the language good like you know I mean it was like a
01:16:21| you'll be fine just this just calm up he was like I don't know that this he
01:16:28| looked like he looked like a terrorist like if you were described a terrorist
01:16:35| like three hours it seems like a cool dude so I made a judgment call
01:16:40| I grabbed his phone and I picked it up and I asked him to spell his name and
01:16:44| right the fanatics under it and he was like what do you mean I was like how do
01:16:48| you see your goddamn name dude like I say his name of the podcast you were
01:16:51| yeah and I talked to security they're like what's your name sir I was like I'm
01:16:55| doing this understand I said like all these weird words they're like and your
01:17:00| him sounds like yeah I need a place to stay tonight
01:17:04| give me a free thing and airfare back to so-and-so New Orleans or whatever and
01:17:09| they were like okay are you sure and like I've been looking another like okay
01:17:13| you'd be like give me this anyway I hooked my man up with a free flight free
01:17:21| hotel free taxi free everything and the whole time I was doing I was like please
01:17:25| don't be a terrorist please don't leave please don't be awful
01:17:29| but I was like he's probably just a normal dude who got sidetracked by the
01:17:32| damn weather and I impersonated someone to the what's it called the air plane
01:17:40| I would say like TSA but that didn't exist at the time right no no this is no
01:17:46| it's like five years ago your bachelor party
01:17:51| owns it iasts anyway I totally hooked them up with like a free airport a free
01:17:56| flight a free whatever he said he was a grip for a famous movie every which
01:18:02| movie no I looked him up he's pretty sweet and then we all got in the grip
01:18:07| she's a guy who works the cameras and stuff and like Sam Mike right but like I
01:18:15| had to pretend to be him and then when we got to a hotel like he ended up at
01:18:19| the same free hotel I did I walked up to the front desk goes like I'm so low I
01:18:25| said his name or whatever and like I need a room I hooked him up I'll say
01:18:30| here's your kid you are you gonna do cuz like he couldn't speak English good luck
01:18:34| he he he would have been screwed like why he would sleepin in the airport yeah
01:18:40| like don't do anything bad dude just cuz they're gonna be like he helped him in
01:18:46| up like you know to me but it was really cool when like he emailed me like a year
01:18:51| later it was like thank you Niq everything good this is my new movie I
01:18:56| work on it was like some movie no one's ever heard of but I was like well like
01:19:00| right on brother good for you oh I love you anyways that
01:19:09| relate to scams you felt like you were scamming the TSA my pretending to be
01:19:13| somebody else yes like at the time it was like 9/11
01:19:17| was in my brain and I was like what if I'm doing the wrong thing like you know
01:19:21| I need to make him talk for himself but really I did I just pretend to be him I
01:19:25| told everyone I was here Mike gave his last name there's numbers were scamming
01:19:32| is actually a positive scamming which could be defined as helping somebody I'm
01:19:39| help our guys yeah so much nice and stealing digital goods
01:19:45| oh so there's a list of all these types of scams and I want to run through them
01:19:52| if you hold on I got shorter list it's only three literally I said all my
01:19:57| numbers gonna sprinkle your scams in there as I go easy no no let them live
01:20:04| elevated well they do thrive right they they pretend to sell vitamins and
01:20:13| shit that makes you healthy all those high-end ethic medicines yes
01:20:18| and then hold on so there's like a bunch in jewelry now that are really big
01:20:22| they're getting like everyone's talking about Sao Paulo and celadon selling
01:20:28| thought no no anyway trust me Melissa's like oh I do them scam pyramid trust me
01:20:35| I'm the one who knows and uh last one I had written down here my girlfriend was
01:20:40| like pyramids good yeah and she named the list places like there's like a
01:20:43| candle one I was like candles and she's like baby she couldn't remember the name
01:20:52| she's like she's my and do all this stuff and it's for candles I was like
01:20:57| who who's got the time to be here it's game for candles like if you told me I'd
01:21:03| be like I come here later I mean it's weird and I like to stay at
01:21:09| home mom's get manipulated in the least multi level marketing schemes hey
01:21:14| they're the big target I think okay yeah anything that does like a an ambience
01:21:19| like the candles make sense like so let's go back anyone who's also just
01:21:38| turn up behind please tell me anyway go oh they do like these two things like
01:21:44| lipstick or like they do like kitchen goods or like eggs chicken
01:21:57| I don't know the names of these things I'm just gonna call him out Herbalife is
01:22:04| like they sell inventory to their storefronts and the people above like
01:22:12| whoever started it makes money whoever is like the second tier third tier third
01:22:16| fourth like it keeps going like the people up top make money pyramid scheme
01:22:20| but the people at the bottom are so strong like they're struggling so hard
01:22:23| to sell Herbalife they never make any money
01:22:26| they're just milking it the people the top so it's a milk scheme it's people
01:22:33| milking people it's like human set of people with knockers all right if humans
01:22:38| were cows and made of money yes yes indeed jump over to I think you'll like
01:22:50| the sidewalks games and jump over these cat this category like if you're walking
01:22:57| in like New Orleans for example some people come up to you and they ask you
01:23:02| where you got your shoes I'll tell you where you got your shoes and they'll bet
01:23:08| you like 5 bucks and they'll say like you'll agree to it no say where do I get
01:23:15| my shoes but that's not the language that they use they say well you got your
01:23:18| shoes on Bourbon Street like they're standing on Bourbon Street or you got
01:23:23| you got your shoes on the floor you got it now know how much more of a
01:23:30| drink do you need I had to think about that were saying yeah cuz they got him
01:23:35| they got him on the ground that's where you got your shoes what if they were
01:23:40| levitating oh there's a thin layer Adams that makes it so I'm not on the ground
01:23:46| so I'm not gonna give you your money they're definitely air out of there
01:23:52| definitely are but I don't think someone who doesn't understand English language
01:23:56| that well yeah well the other side sidewalks games I really like to like
01:24:05| the three-card Monte where they swap around cards and they say pick the pick
01:24:09| the Queen who like they set that up so that the
01:24:13| people before whoever the target is they're in on the scam so the people
01:24:18| before them can make money but they're making money to their friend and they
01:24:23| say now now you you you try it like the random visitor and the random visitor
01:24:28| feels like he's like part of it right Gabe yeah game yeah like swap out the
01:24:35| card or make it so like people are hinting at a different card they'll like
01:24:39| sway him it to choose the wrong stuff if you had a crowd of people behind you
01:24:44| saying like all the middle cards are you doing their neck you're doing right
01:24:55| there yeah right you got it you got a break wow you're gone it's yeah I hope
01:25:07| that garlic was a drink for a drink okay I don't always do this here at the
01:25:18| impaler's but certain products drive me wild like they really get my goat they
01:25:28| get me for who I am they do something for me that's just out of this world
01:25:32| folks I can't explain it every time it's not always normal but but it works
01:25:39| most people swear by that fancy garlic it's called elephant what a fun day yeah
01:25:45| I thought about $5.99 for a clove no thanks so I recently tried a new one
01:25:54| it's called wise bread ten times more intense well that's what they say so I
01:26:00| tried wise brand garlic it's 65 cents for a clove I thought it it's probably
01:26:05| not that special there's a elephant $0.65 folks it's thought I didn't buy a
01:26:16| thinking I would change the world and anything anything of it
01:26:19| it's the supermarket brain-wise why supermarket no big deal on my way home
01:26:27| all the lights turned green no big deal whatever I had to stop at a gas station
01:26:35| right you do the credit car thing and then you you put the pump in and trying
01:26:39| to remember when you're getting close to and clicked off at $20.00 good thinking
01:26:49| anything of it just fucking garlic so then I get inside and I'm gonna start
01:26:57| this chicken meal or a rubber a little garlic a little Italian herbs and
01:27:01| seasons on them I said I better turn the oven to 375 the oven turned itself on to
01:27:13| a little weird right little weird maybe it's the wise bread so walking the
01:27:19| dog this has been an hour and a half ago
01:27:22| it's getting dusk it's Twilight I can barely see everything walking down the
01:27:26| street I didn't realize I had the garlic in my pocket I don't get into why it's
01:27:31| in my pocket I'm a little strange before I cook I need to do a few things all my
01:27:37| neighbors it could them ones I haven't met yet they're all standing outside
01:27:43| their house so I'm walking the dog dick dick walking he lifts his leg ep's
01:27:51| neighbors don't even say anything really even looking at me they're just staring
01:27:55| straight ahead helping him dad this something is a memo what's going on I
01:28:00| keep walking soon as I won't buy each one they start shouting the true name of
01:28:06| God absolutely right so oh my god this is bizarre this is this got me
01:28:11| thinking and the glowing thing in my pocket it's the garlic there oh shit
01:28:25| and I can't hear you Oh Eric okay no I got really intrigued and silent I think
01:28:37| she did anyway um if you get a chance to go by Weis markets bottom wise garlic
01:28:43| over the other brands it's it's really doing a number for me so shout out um
01:28:49| product bugboy do I pick a little my rectum we will say cleaning out the
01:29:00| garlic yeah if you put garlic on your bed at night then it absorbs all the
01:29:05| negative spirits girl with all the negative spirits in your anus so get
01:29:09| sucked out by that garlic I kind of pull real hard though onions so if you do
01:29:18| onions and crack that's a good mix for a beef stew but it's saying which one
01:29:31| which one of these do I want to hit I did the hard hitting ones the fresh ones
01:29:37| so everyone the one digital scam that I have on here there's an app that was
01:29:43| called I am rich it was just an app that you could buy for a thousand dollars
01:29:52| that would then give you a little emblem that could show off how rich you were
01:29:56| because she spent a thousand bucks on the app didn't do anything
01:29:59| where did it show up like a Facebook or like what your text so I don't even know
01:30:05| I had the only thing I saw it was a picture of like a little like it's
01:30:09| almost like what is this no man's sky diamonds oh yeah I guess you would show
01:30:14| that to people to show how much of an asshole you were no that's the thing
01:30:21| with that kind of emblem you kind of have to accidentally show it to everyone
01:30:24| oh I'm sorry yeah they did a flowers online show you
01:30:31| one day I was drunk and I had money so I just
01:30:39| they took that app off because it actually functionally helped anybody but
01:30:44| the developer probably made boatload of money off of stupid people paying a
01:30:47| thousand bucks for their our had been sucked into a timeshare no my parents
01:30:59| were and almost couldn't get out of it at all for like years and years like
01:31:05| years and years oh yeah we catch in your room and they try to make you feel
01:31:10| guilty and they never do it what's that advertise on Facebook how
01:31:16| cool it was threw up some fake pictures hold on talked to this couple were like
01:31:22| well we could sell it to you I mean it's crazy good and they bought it
01:31:31| but now there's like a exit timeshare tarp shirt exit curb there's like
01:31:36| companies that do this get you out of the bullshit and we're gonna use this
01:31:41| for one week in a year and no you know you well did you were the feet the fees
01:31:46| would go up every year so that the fee for owning your $300 timeshare was up to
01:31:51| like $1,700 a year it was like twenty one hundred thousand a year you're like
01:31:55| uh $2,800 here like a climb friend that's a ridiculous I can't believe
01:32:07| people I mean it's obvious why people get sucked into them but why people
01:32:12| continue to I guess what if you do it for a couple years and then they sucker
01:32:15| you into these gigantic fees you're just like you keep going and going and going
01:32:21| so there's actually people associated with Yukon men I tried to fly through
01:32:26| these people it was like yeah Robert handy free guard I'm certainly turned up
01:32:33| in your searches forget did I bring him up you did earth
01:32:37| okay I'll jump right into it then he was at mi5
01:32:43| my god yeah he he would say that he needed I guess like a co-star but a co
01:32:51| agent were these women and he would tell them that this is gonna the funny part
01:32:56| that he would tell the women that they'd have to prove themselves to be an agent
01:33:00| so he'd make them like sleep on park benches for dark man oh the creepy part
01:33:12| is that he like I guess there's nothing technically wrong with it other than he
01:33:17| was promising them the secret agent he would also do like this is the negative
01:33:26| downside is that he would do yeah 600 arresting them you tricked them into
01:33:37| doing stuff because they thought they're gonna be agents but that's their own
01:33:41| fault just send me a seductive look Alyssa Milano and
01:33:52| Christina Applegate I'm not gonna make easy good agent that's I'll tell you
01:33:57| that right now I already mentioned my Frank my Frank
01:34:12| sprinkle I was gonna mention sprinkle because yeah yeah you need to cut it
01:34:24| short no cuz I got we're nearing the end I'm gonna power the hell guide them
01:34:31| through if my voice him thicker and you kazir hmm that's God took are some
01:34:39| lenses ACL okay thank you God I'll cut it short for you okay burn I apologize
01:34:45| what I realize is that I think this topic is stemmed from a movie that I saw
01:34:50| but I didn't even realize it so it was subliminal subconsciously that obvious
01:34:56| yeah um I saw the beginning of the yet no I know I saw the beginning at the end
01:35:02| there's a racecar driver but I didn't Margot Robbie can jump into
01:35:06| the seductive look if she wants to she can jump into my car bed that could be
01:35:16| yeah yep okay all right I can do it okay what is she upset no I'm trying to store
01:35:27| back the Smurf to my face tell me what he did
01:35:30| what'd he do he didn't do it so the hood he's he's in a little bit of hot water
01:35:40| folks we all love him buta listens to the podcast he's one of my best friends
01:35:45| he's I try and tell him right from wrong I tried tell him what to do so he goes
01:35:51| to a party it's called there excuse my language big dick bastards
01:35:59| it's a BDSM group they all meet his girlfriend's cool with it like huh
01:36:05| listen they're both cool with it they're both adults they could do whatever the
01:36:09| hell they want it's a bondage boob they do a lot of
01:36:12| bondage you can walk around do what you think he he goes there um dance
01:36:19| he's a sub I hate to give away his position he likes to be tied up no I
01:36:25| said messy submissive he likes to be tied up mister elbows his wrists it's
01:36:31| called they calmed ours cuz her elbows and wrists I don't get too deep into the
01:36:38| community he was talking to another Bower her elbows her wrists and she was
01:36:44| eating some of the hors d'oeuvres they had an hors d'oeuvres
01:36:46| no she's her jokin no she's literally token she's like like not joke token
01:36:52| like whatever but both of them don't have their hands or arms she's choking
01:36:57| she doesn't know what to do she falls on her knees he doesn't know what to do cuz
01:37:02| he can't use his hands arms either she lunges for his wiener he pops it out of
01:37:08| his pants going on this is insane like this is
01:37:15| everyone's attention over here what's going on she's trying to dislodge the
01:37:20| food from her throat like this is a life-or-death situation not a joke
01:37:24| we're not trying to make light of it so dans guys are my eyes back me he's
01:37:31| coming like a bit like a snail you know I'll give him credit
01:37:35| I told him not to go to this party she died folks I'm trying to have to two
01:37:43| into it but um the family is now suing real estate they're suing my friend the
01:37:56| huge for having two tiny of a dick they just wish it was bigger it would have
01:38:05| saved her life I try not to tell jokes on here I think
01:38:12| it's terrible but if his penis was just a little bigger they probably would just
01:38:18| lots of food she'd be alive right now and and just emphasis the name of the
01:38:29| party was big dick BDSM party so she's she's suing for $900,000 who she doesn't
01:38:38| have that kind of money but I don't know I don't know where right is where wrong
01:38:41| is and we hope the best for all parties involved same patter so exciting if only
01:38:53| he were a little bigger sad and we don't know I'm not saying she
01:38:59| would have lived I'm just saying the family suing it's of note anyway we're
01:39:05| done got that ugly business out of the way in court they're gonna have to prove
01:39:11| how big of a dick you know I know here's the thing and we have two guests execute
01:39:20| his list for product material two judge and then the measure so I said
01:39:27| anime Sailor Moon they get some part of rating if that doesn't do it
01:39:37| mm-hmm well pillow action judge that ain't
01:39:42| happening for that not happenin shout out to the family involved ugly business
01:39:50| a lot of Boers she just be into regular BDSM elbows stuff the price no came to
01:39:59| her assistance okay I mean maybe he was the best option at the time I think it's
01:40:07| cuz they're both Bowers I mean all those back maybe they were for Bowers around
01:40:12| anima um there is good news as far as our socials dad Sally forty-seven
01:40:22| Patriot on Twitter I wrote well we wrote episode 21 drops see how you like rulers
01:40:36| or not so good rollers Sally wrote and I quote lol no way
01:40:44| maybe we can have some fun wiki base click the link in my profile I think we
01:40:55| get more followers every day and with discount action folks quick I
01:41:00| girlfriends we're married we're not doing anything I'm just saying the only
01:41:11| meat I wish I couldn't know what you mean
01:41:14| do you know what I mean well you should we appreciate everything you do for a
01:41:23| Sally patriot she had an American flag on her
01:41:28| background she was smoking i oniy know how old she was but older 13 I know you
01:41:33| said you liked there in Europe who's she riding a stallion she was but it was a
01:41:40| picture of you at the Pottery Barn or whatever earlier that's exactly what I'm
01:41:44| talking about folks I'm Annie fuller we had Sochi go
01:41:54| to them click on them be a part of them don't tell your friends do tell your
01:42:01| friends don't tell your family do tyre family it's this weird thing where
01:42:07| you're part of us you're not part of us you want to sue us you don't want to sue
01:42:13| us yeah if you've ever watched the abyss
01:42:17| and the tentacle monster starts clicking on every link it sees what water
01:42:25| tentacle monster folks we like damn it come on odd patters
01:42:51| thanks for listening
00:00:08| holy smokes folks holy smokes our together we formed this team oh man
00:00:18| it's not like anything else you know it's pretty unique
00:00:24| we call ourselves be on within if you're a borrower bumper so welcome bumpers
00:00:36| yeah I think the number is growing by the month this one well that's a number
00:00:42| the number growing it sure is what's one it's getting
00:00:47| larger you could bring it to a wedding at this point you know we're old friends
00:00:58| we like to talk and share topics and say what on what we do all right what do we
00:01:04| do it's like or a couple of ghosts from an 80s kids movie we start off really
00:01:09| crazy and scary but then by the end we kind of just fade away and realize what
00:01:14| made us unhappy it's pretty good right begin a drink Stokes 21 and older
00:01:29| that's the disclaimer and so is this a employer can't sue me a employer can't
00:01:37| fire me a employer can't not hire me wrong you can't do anything either
00:01:44| yeah celebrity you can't sue me either because this is for what in free speech
00:01:54| David Berman middle Second Amendment folks and entertainment this is only an
00:01:59| educational purposes sort of full chock-full of usable information
00:02:03| education outside yeah you can't disseminate this podcast either No
00:02:11| well you can share it you just can't use it as your own you can't just have
00:02:15| innate it yeah disseminate so many funny see us emanate this dissipation three
00:02:21| things you can't disseminate guys the NFL Yun panders and your ex-wife all
00:02:28| right guys it's gonna get you 18 years baby lemonade on that you know I'm
00:02:33| saying anyway you should have Semin ated somewhere else I'm dying you folks real
00:02:44| quick tongue twister for you it's a good topical say with me folks the Dutch
00:02:54| destroyers disseminated degenerative crucial ligament is torn the Eagles
00:03:00| season is over you just cut it in half teens a Dutch destroyer disseminated
00:03:07| degenerative crucial ligament gave me to say that ligament he already got me on
00:03:14| the tongue twister say the words man he's the one with the passer rating
00:03:26| that's like in the ridiculous numbers right 130 or something third downs
00:03:31| here's cancer eating his heart rating is through the roof and
00:03:35| how much of you let his like did you see it was like I guess like just like
00:03:40| flopping everywhere uh I mean he got hit from both sides by
00:03:44| guys we'd like 300 pounds we can run like four O's but he's been hit like
00:03:50| that before it's just one of those freak things your ACL yeah so they they
00:03:56| clinched the division and they won and now it's a weird feeling because like
00:04:02| football is weird like yeah if you're gonna win that year feel like they were
00:04:07| gonna win just based on the stupid and the pendulums
00:04:11| yeah the feel like magical stocks happening crazy things are going on
00:04:15| not to mention next year your defensive coordinator is gonna be a coach
00:04:19| somewhere so we're gonna take Jim Schwartz you could lose two or three
00:04:23| other free agents ah guys could get injured next year you
00:04:27| know what I mean like it's all about who's healthy who's hot and you were
00:04:31| healthy and hot now you're who's the backup the guy they hire Katherine I get
00:04:35| though they didn't expose though you know that names he say q-ball Nikki
00:04:41| sticks baby they had him around for like five years
00:04:43| didn't they yeah he um he threw 22 touchdowns and like two interceptions
00:04:52| one year something ridiculous that was the best year of his life but uh they're
00:04:58| gonna try and recreate magic they always do a sound prop to him
00:05:02| it's like how's everybody doing like it's like a real yokel type guy I'm
00:05:08| rooting for Nikki Sixx folks Super Bowl or bust for myself some more of this
00:05:13| thanks for bringing it up yeah I remember a season where he didn't do so
00:05:18| hot and then he pretty much faded into non-existence and then apparently still
00:05:22| exists means backup quarterback I mean backup QB is a job those guys make like
00:05:29| and shit they don't have to get hurt they don't want to get hit there's no
00:05:35| pressure on them it's awesome pretty much hanging out big off you hang with
00:05:40| the team tell jokes and uh I've been a great like backup athlete I tell jokes
00:05:45| with the best of all I just been like let's get him with whipped cream in his
00:05:49| locker on the sidelines what can we do today and then one day they'd be like
00:05:59| hey Nick we need you to play I'm really I'm the funny guy there's a golden
00:06:09| retriever behind you and you're just like oh they mean that Nick and runs an
00:06:12| field and takes your spot and the other coach is screaming that this is illegal
00:06:17| and all look at all the referees are getting together I mean like there's
00:06:20| nothing in the rulebook that says a dog can't play football part there isn't
00:06:27| anything in the rulebook I hope not so you have any
00:06:31| clarifications or Corrections or the last time I
00:06:34| I did make Bolognese and I was wrong there is no Bologna in Bolognese just I
00:06:41| just want to clarify that cuz last time I was really confused I heard you and I
00:06:46| made Bolognese and it tasted awful Elia added Bologna no it tastes awful
00:06:52| with the Bologna my family members got sick thanks dad
00:06:59| it's on you I think you're filler that you look your family's an entirety of
00:07:05| three people right so everyone got sick so I do want to make a quick correction
00:07:20| I said my bank ATM number was seven six five eight I wouldn't tell you guys my
00:07:28| back number it's six seven five eight it's my mom's birthday so this is
00:07:34| Sussman well that's her maiden name now it's not so no big deal
00:07:37| I guess that's I shouldn't tell you guys everything yeah it's some of the numbers
00:07:43| are my Sosh in let's start with two zero nine and go from there it's a little
00:07:52| correction where did you feel me damn it wouldn't eat my yeah where did you meet
00:08:06| your mate for the first time that's always the question I like Dan answer
00:08:09| and you will ever get really serious about it and then I say have you ever
00:08:13| done one that's like um you have to answer two or three security questions
00:08:17| yeah and you get annoying but they can be like came right well one time there
00:08:22| was just one I had an answer for it was like where is your whites whatever and I
00:08:28| was like married and one was like what was your first pet's where did you get
00:08:33| your first pet or something else if I don't know it was the woods the woods
00:08:37| gonna write the wood didn't mean it was like some fear - yeah it's the weirdest
00:08:41| thing it was like what was your 6th grade favorite teacher and I was like I
00:08:46| don't know hey when they don't make it so it's
00:08:51| definitive like what is your youngest child's birthday it's like well I could
00:08:54| have more than one or two this might come changing back into the fact later
00:09:02| in the episode but when I started taking out all my school loans for college
00:09:07| mm-hm and they accept like a five letter password like like password they really
00:09:11| go this isn't good enough we know use that one so do you know what
00:09:15| I did I changed all my passwords to either one of two things for all my
00:09:19| loans you can log in right now and pay for me I actually I think I had to
00:09:22| change him again but it was always f you spelled out if you want because I'd have
00:09:28| a number and the other one was not paying one it was but nothing it's
00:09:33| really funny when I would be like locked out and they'd be like what is your
00:09:36| password like hmm I know TEP a y ing maybe like not paying one like you said
00:09:45| it not me anyway oh I used to do that for all my questions where they'll let
00:09:51| you type it in am i right in not sure so whenever they ask me the question I go
00:09:56| up not sure oh ok sir and then they asked me a second one I'm like I think
00:10:04| you know the answer he's like I'm not sure I given what I have to change that
00:10:15| for all of my passwords now explain a lot of our passwords to a lot of
00:10:20| accounts just my bank I'm not terribly worried a couple of loans a couple of
00:10:25| socials if you figured all out just look up my property taxes and just click pay
00:10:30| enter in your credit card everything will take care of itself
00:10:34| email I always get is like five minutes after I make a payment on one of my bank
00:10:39| cards or Amazon card or whatever it's like did you know someone made a payment
00:10:45| to your account this is alert I'm always like don't even
00:10:49| send me that I mean honest no one fan you're losing money yeah
00:10:54| no I'm gaining money someone made a payment you maybe
00:11:00| yes oh if someone else broke into play cows like let's pay his loans offshore
00:11:10| account like it I mean we got him he's gonna be so confused like damn you
00:11:15| hackers add exactly why I brought up my properties actives cuz they're public
00:11:19| and there's no way they don't even ask you to sign in there's no like reference
00:11:23| really you can just look up anyone donating works in pay anyone hey that's
00:11:28| pretty good you must be what start paying some
00:11:33| property taxes I want to find the lowest property tax on the entire list and just
00:11:39| say yeah okay legs in he's like actually probably
00:11:48| good yeah little smirk or a smile I do I do have a lot of small one but it's kind
00:12:02| of a dad joke was there this giant warehouse that's filled with like home
00:12:07| goods it's not the store I'm goods but it's something similar
00:12:12| no it's called at home I'll say cuz that's very generic anyway cuz I could
00:12:17| be anywhere it's not at my home yeah it was a giant warehouse two filled with
00:12:21| like tons of stuff in the one corner there's pictures there's a picture of a
00:12:26| horse and I was walking with my wife when I go it itself and she just looks
00:12:31| she looks at me like huh I was like of me I'm a stallion and then she was like
00:12:39| shaking her head and then like I was like oh they have you too and like right
00:12:42| next to the horse at a picture of a pig not good time got a good classic
00:13:05| yeah that's my smile and smirk I guess a little bit left so my girlfriend drives
00:13:12| a 2014 Toyota Land Cruiser so what's a lane troop now the one above
00:13:22| the middle one yeah it's not the rat for one above that okay I later
00:13:29| thank you Eileen that's I knew Land was in there somewhere so I gotta work she's
00:13:36| gotta go to work no big deal start at the car doing kid
00:13:41| stuff getting him into the car she probably beats him I think she beats him
00:13:47| gets him in the car everyone's finally in the car everything's locked up she
00:13:51| can finally get the hell out of here she goes to put it in reverse but it won't
00:13:55| get out of park so she says it's the weirdest thing ever she had to this is
00:14:00| crazy turns it off that's what that's what she thought I'll bet in my mind
00:14:05| turns it off turns it back on this is easy he's crap the damn thing looking to
00:14:11| reverse right mm-hmm goes nope it's not going nothing's happened before she
00:14:18| freaks out cause everyone she knows me the governor isn't in the United States
00:14:23| she hasn't once peed them she googles it and apparently underneath
00:14:28| the where this knee of them the Chester is hey you can pop it off all cars have
00:14:35| this I believe it's a manual override in case something's wrong with the
00:14:39| electronics or something then you need to get your car into neutral it's like a
00:14:42| safety thing so she googled just do this at least make sure your cars get into
00:14:46| the neutral she takes it off pops a little screwdriver hits a little button
00:14:50| and it won't even go into neutral like that's best and she just drove this car
00:14:56| yesterday parked it in the driveway kids gotta go to day care if she's gotta go
00:15:02| to work this is bizarre I ended up Colts her
00:15:05| stepdad he used to be mechanic he lets everyone know 10 times calls my
00:15:09| brother-in-law he is a mechanic yeah now everyone's involved I'm finding
00:15:13| out about this an hour later everyone's converging on the house like all these
00:15:17| people and did you check to make sure it was on
00:15:20| yeah check the pictures on each one's reaching out it's not a transmission
00:15:24| lever is it a transmission lever reach into the transmission I rechecked the
00:15:29| transmission it go be the lever did you make sure it's on like
00:15:32| everyone's double-checking everything eight times she's going nuts she's
00:15:35| googling things do we gave up had to call Toyota it's under some kind of
00:15:41| warranty anyway doesn't even bring it to my brother-in-law's shop whatever it son
00:15:46| whatever she gets a call like six hours later cars good it's ready done okay can
00:15:52| someone tell me what I issue with the lever or something I don't know
00:15:59| so we go there was a walnut or the park release lever I say excuse me
00:16:09| there was a walnut inside your car right where the lever goes down like it's a
00:16:17| mechanical moment which is blocked by the walnut I said nope the wall nonlin
00:16:23| put that in there could have been it at home well diagnostics everything else
00:16:32| will be 139 bucks no we threw it out we were gonna frame it we're gonna make it
00:16:49| with spray painted gold and call the golden walnut next person has their car
00:16:54| breakdown great on the side of the highway someone breaks down you pull
00:16:58| over and you're like I'm here to save you here's the golden walnut but I do
00:17:03| them in the drive off I don't know what happened I guess a squirrel climbed up
00:17:10| in there drop the walnut at the exact spot because there's not room to drop
00:17:17| things are there right no no but squirrels are habitual seeking you gotta
00:17:21| watch that squirrel man we know they back there well next time for the the
00:17:26| park leaver walnut issue it was funny in the write-up the the computer pronounced
00:17:31| that they do in the shop there was a walnut over something and I
00:17:35| was really all the people were like this is hilarious and I'm like this is
00:17:39| expensive why would why wouldn't they say like it was their fault like they
00:17:44| shouldn't design a car so you could stick something in that shift lever I
00:17:50| mean could you stick something between the wheels like a giant 8-foot pipe that
00:17:55| ran across it would mess up the car like why would they do that
00:18:00| between the tires and that's enough you would imagine no one's gonna drop the
00:18:04| walnut right where it did so I don't know quite a smirk funny little anyway
00:18:11| comment my dad made on Facebook shout out my dad Oh ultra down close he said
00:18:19| um bet you'll think twice when swerving next time you're driving and you see a
00:18:24| squirrel anyway check your uh park leave a release thing for a while not if
00:18:39| you're stuck in your driveway how would you react to this scenario please please
00:18:53| do it you're given a pill that will give you all the knowledge in the world but
00:19:00| you also get all the emotions in the world
00:19:03| you take the pill oh think so your life's over you can't really go back to
00:19:11| normal right probably you'd never be you don't surprise me I think you like glow
00:19:19| and all of a sudden like to shoot at all your body parts and I don't think you
00:19:23| can really I mean November 1 up that emotion we're then intellect or that
00:19:28| feeling so you're kind of on a downslide from their own art right cause do you
00:19:33| think the average of motion is negative neutral
00:19:37| if you're experiencing them all I don't know that it matters
00:19:40| it's like overload like you can only experience so much pain I think that
00:19:43| it's just like a ridiculous amount that's just blank it's like your body
00:19:48| can't process it now what if the pill wore off in like 24 hours you can always
00:19:53| I was expecting five minutes oh my god shipping flight out of your body and
00:19:59| experiencing all the emotions all intellect everything in the world
00:20:03| the legs are levitating in the sky and disappear forever I'm saying no what
00:20:09| good can come of it I mean afterwards could you make money and then still be
00:20:14| chasing some sort of high that you'll never catch again if you really enjoy it
00:20:19| yeah it's emotions so powerful the more powerful and loving your own children
00:20:25| right so you're like you're like you're like that's great good I've experienced
00:20:34| the love of star-crossed lovers who you know face adversity and triumphed over
00:20:39| evil and found themselves in the true embrace of God and others and he's like
00:20:43| I built this for you and you're like like I mean everything's damn there it's
00:20:50| all faded I mean you you reach your glowing point there and it's everything
00:20:54| else was kind of like a village elder who gets like blown into a like a wisp
00:20:59| all pile of leaves that go into the sky and then like you have a cloud after
00:21:05| that you're not gonna chase that high but but you're smart enough not to like
00:21:15| a second one for you which is sort of similar shake you got a second one now
00:21:20| or should you get later you later all right
00:21:23| the answer might change of course the episode so give room to breathe here
00:21:29| sure I had one for you just a full hour this one
00:21:36| I have no idea what you're gonna go with this see let's see let's say you wake up
00:21:43| tomorrow you're your exact age which might not make sense you're in your
00:21:47| exact living conditions which might not make sense
00:21:50| you have all the money the family everyone's the same age around you you
00:21:55| have a podcast called the IMP Anders anything but you wake up and without a
00:21:59| doubt everyone around you rises and you realize that the date is September 10th
00:22:14| there's gonna be a turn like what what would you do I mean I can you just could
00:22:22| probably shave a whole bunch of lives like if you were the problem whatever
00:22:26| you do you're gonna be associated with it somehow they're gonna blame you
00:22:30| regardless country that they had WMDs I mean they're not gonna blink it blaming
00:22:35| one guy nothing cuz that's pretty crazy too I mean you get here if you one day
00:22:44| so you don't realize the fire alarm in uh the twin tower which wait which I
00:22:51| don't even know which everywhere they took out of took off out of I really
00:22:55| don't I don't I don't I don't know that either so like you wouldn't be nice if
00:22:59| you could get to the Twin Towers before they hit then you could pull the fire
00:23:03| alarm but the buildings and then whatever evidence that you pulled the
00:23:07| fire alarm would be destroyed right but people would be out of the building but
00:23:11| it'd be so crazy well do you have to get a one-day ticket
00:23:16| to New York where you are you would is that possible let's do it alright you
00:23:21| drive continuously wait drive and dude you really yeah you get to the building
00:23:29| and he'd be like ah and then you slowly slink out of there I mean if someone
00:23:34| sees you pull it don't they just like say like it's false alarm gang I just
00:23:38| tell everyone to go back in and they're like you you're a big trouble start
00:23:40| we're gonna find you you're like you don't understand really there's I mean
00:23:47| with one day there's not a lot you can do oh my god unless you bought a gun and
00:23:56| you went to like the middle of the building and started shooting wild like
00:24:00| but knew you were gonna hit anyone and they'll evacuate
00:24:04| you buy a sniper rifle you go up on the roof and you snipe the pilot as he tries
00:24:09| to hit the building though you have that someone was coming let's let's also
00:24:15| think about that roadwork it's possible I'm done I mean there's no one you can
00:24:27| call that would be able to do anything right that's my solution no I don't
00:24:31| think so would you follow the airport if you did know which one was I feel like
00:24:36| super met these people I'm telling you something Bad's gonna happen oh oh you
00:24:40| could say you were involved in it I'm turning on them
00:24:43| hi guys you're gonna die anyway if anyone knows that you're associated with
00:24:47| some sort of plot you're gonna be killed there's no way you're gonna be in like
00:24:51| one time oh no quite I can't say one time I can't say Guantanamo there you go
00:24:58| I say an extra syllable brother record you hate going 11 though or you love it
00:25:04| the King Kong for the record I hate it okay all right leave it at that I mean
00:25:22| we couldn't win for a whole day but you know what it reminds me of um 12 monkeys
00:25:25| a little bit even involves an airport right that's Bruce walls steel set girl
00:25:34| and I run to the airport to stop something from happening and he ends up
00:25:38| getting shot the airport and he sees himself as a kid getting shot at the
00:25:41| airport but the real person carrying the virus was someone else and there's a
00:25:46| virus but like him running to the airport and causing commotion actually
00:25:50| caused the issue or just break out so it's like can rewatch that one it's
00:25:56| actually a very good movie did a band-aid I'm right yeah I think I
00:26:00| watched it two times when I wasn't fully focused on it
00:26:08| for essence was burden my wife I'm not on my way I was gonna keep my intro no
00:26:23| no I just bounced like world-class strike down a little
00:26:28| I'm slamming a you need a shock Madrid okay what's the podcast
00:26:34| no it's podcasts bare-bones just getting over my cold and time I wanna have the
00:26:46| best voice possible for a next segment it's the one people people stop me on
00:26:52| the street and they're covered in blood no one can even discern what happened to
00:26:57| them their clothes are tattered people just scream and grabbed me by my shirt
00:27:04| in front of my everyone screaming people are stopping their cars and they're like
00:27:09| it's time celebrity challenge it's beautiful or
00:27:20| just stayed you have one I actually have one but you can go ahead actually I
00:27:33| don't know it depends on I haven't seen Alyssa Milano in a while and christina
00:27:40| applegate they're both you know I don't know what they meet like anymore
00:27:47| yeah the limelight is no longer there but that's okay what I'm asking for is
00:27:52| there a ghost what's that yeah I was thinking maybe if they
00:28:00| thought of the un-- panderers gave a shot it's like a really seductive look
00:28:05| with it unpaid or and we choose which one was the most
00:28:09| seductive lose steal the tiara it's um I just watch that to brew it's
00:28:31| funny as hell I haven't tasted time workers really I I it it it stands the
00:28:37| test of time that Lee does really good 2001 I think
00:28:45| it's only in high school between one and four are you sure cuz I looked it up
00:28:50| while I was googling I was surprised by all the people in it
00:28:54| do you remember the two model roommates of his that say like do you think he's
00:29:00| heard of styling gel Mekas earth to brint
00:29:03| of course he's heard of high styling gel gym and then at the end they both heard
00:29:06| and they're like you know what you need an orange mocha frappuccino well there's
00:29:11| two of them right that say this yeah yeah the one on the left is to dude who
00:29:16| plays the sexy guy nail and everything he was a True Blood uh Eric from True
00:29:21| Blood he like he's always bare chested um I don't know his name is like
00:29:26| Skarsgard skarsgård really that's the that's the guy it's like C 2011 he was
00:29:43| Mekas the DJ he ended up marrying Jennifer Aniston what yes the BT the
00:30:04| ugly dude with the like the face nail yeah if you look at me looks like a
00:30:08| normal good-looking dude it's like that movie was casting I see Rufus oh oh dude
00:30:17| do you remember hold on uh so I called this when I was watching it I figured it
00:30:20| out without looking it up and I looked it up to verify do you know the UM the
00:30:25| girl who's giving him the massage while he's nude and smacking his bun oh yeah
00:30:28| she has like the Chinn big head she's ridiculously gross
00:30:33| looking and she's going do you know that no idea that is Andy Dick really that
00:30:41| guy's an asshole I know but that's so fun I was looking at it
00:30:46| that's like Andy Dick I was like oh he would play a woman smacking his butt
00:30:52| with the unibrow and everything Olga yes not go up I've heard horrible stories
00:31:01| about Andy Dick it's just like he just yeah he's thing called jason Ellis is a
00:31:06| podcast good friends to the podcast you know shout out Jo
00:31:10| wolf knives we get him here your teamwork but anyway uh I hear him come
00:31:26| on the podcast he's always trying to be cool with everybody's like he's like a
00:31:29| Joe Rogan podcast but like he's more cool I think more cool it's impossible
00:31:37| what are you talking about it that's with you but uh yeah Andy Dick like
00:31:43| would try and get clean off drugs and everything and he would come on and then
00:31:46| he'd be like ah that's cool and he'd be cool with him for a while but then he's
00:31:48| like why do you do this he's like man fu and little like ugly and weird and it's
00:31:54| probably got issues like abuse issues like not just oh yeah big head stop
00:31:59| there's like a reality show where he lived in the back of his ex-wife's yard
00:32:04| and he was in like a little shed he's like check out my crib it's got like a
00:32:08| bed door I just want a sexy seductive stare sultry and panders sultry
00:32:30| definitely add all the sexiness as much sexiness that you could bring worthless
00:32:35| donate money to a charity if I saw them at OH
00:32:39| definitely some charity for abused women seriously we could we could I'll begin
00:33:01| let me give the word of the day here because it they need in there I'm sure
00:33:06| yeah we're getting close we're today will it make sure saying
00:33:11| those correctly is a sweater a smart one smart the would tear my it's gonna big
00:33:22| smart water but it's met swart looter it's an embezzler who please
00:33:30| hurry up stop him he's a smart voter he is sounds like in a word I guess like
00:33:35| the origins in like Sweden's it does sound Swedish but I am not sure if it is
00:33:40| I didn't go that far but you know it was a crazy word and it might apply to our
00:33:48| next segment yes it's recovering skin ain't on men
00:33:57| good thing mr. Nick which of the many topics would you like to all his letters
00:34:06| on a paper I don't know if it had words or not I can't touch it there were 13
00:34:11| words on there so I have 13 words to add to this let's go deep oh I have a big
00:34:17| listing here I forgot to tell you that I put this all in a sauna which we like
00:34:22| actually saw it about 20 minutes before I started I was like I was like I also
00:34:29| found out a sauna is a yoga pose which was hold on a second let's find out I'm
00:34:38| kind of curious because I heard it on a server podcast for the register to all
00:34:41| the time yeah the Junior Joe Rogan podcast
00:34:51| whisper seductively oh let's see here I can't why do they
00:34:55| Google give you tiny images that you have to then blow up and say Google it's
00:34:59| not this is not acceptable Google's blow up your spot yeah you
00:35:04| can't search it oh there's like so many why did they choose a guy as the model
00:35:09| it's strange I like that look on your face it's so thick your joy is mine your
00:35:17| lack of doing I I can't tell there's a lot of there's like Taytay asana Jenna
00:35:26| Sanne abhava Sanne the one is like he's standing on one foot with his leg on top
00:35:31| of the other knee and going like this like it's like Oh God I would break
00:35:37| myself in some fashion the easiest one is the Baba husana which is arms like
00:35:43| this and he's crouching like a frog yeah ankle on knee and then arm up an arm
00:35:51| straight down hip flexor opener right there baby yeah yeah except he knows
00:36:00| he's on his toes yeah I know it flexors roommate who complained about it all the
00:36:05| time every goalie I've known is retired because of hip flexors and pornography
00:36:18| yeah the hip is key for masturbating so I never did it to him stop myself from
00:36:28| choking that's art the record show that was a two-hand don't choke mm-hmm like a
00:36:41| bottle of mouthwash when you down the end what say no it's good mmm
00:36:48| a drinking college called plaque free pleasure it was a Listerine
00:36:56| with a little bit of water and a little bit of vodka Oh No
00:37:00| the idea was that we get you messed up fast but also to whiten your smile and
00:37:06| freshen your breath no and this is the story so this was a small event
00:37:13| oh yeah we did a lot freshman year um me and Tom moved right across from the RA
00:37:21| Bret Bret was terrible all right I love Brett dude that he was like you
00:37:28| know he's like supposed to make sure nobody's drinking no he's breaking the
00:37:31| rules and I'm like oh we're right across from me all right dude our funs over
00:37:35| this is awful like our daughter looks at his door he's gonna be the worst well I
00:37:42| was like hey Bret we got mouthwash are you gonna bust us for drinking that and
00:37:47| he the first day cuz I was just messing with him and he said I'll give you a
00:37:52| dollar for every shot of mouth while she do right here and I said are you sure
00:37:56| and I did seven shots a minute I start going sick and he literally was gonna be
00:38:02| seven dollars and he was like listen I can't get in trouble and he followed me
00:38:06| to the bathrooms like do you have to throw up I was like no good guys from
00:38:09| drunk he's like you probably gonna throw up don't tell anyone he was like really
00:38:13| worried he's gonna lose his job and I was like do you have the seven bucks
00:38:18| from then on uh we had a wonderful relationship he ended up buying US beer
00:38:22| by the end of the year so me like it was sweet it was sweet deal and you were 18
00:38:28| time yeah whatever you go to college freshman here eighteen seventeen
00:38:33| thirteen so we're like you don't know what what also was really funny about
00:38:38| Brett oh fuck so one of my other roommates bed will call him he had a
00:38:45| class the three of us had class at like early Tuesday Thursday Samaritan yeah
00:38:52| well Brett be the goofy was the mere RA but I'm a goof - he crouched down behind
00:38:59| Ben and went in the hallway one time and I was like hey bad and I pushed them
00:39:04| like you know jokingly like I wasn't really I mean for some but he happening
00:39:08| - putting his coat so he went like this he like just like
00:39:14| damaged a nerve in his shoulder and he started screaming and like we're like we
00:39:31| go to the ER everything me Brett Ben and he's like I'm so sorry we can drive my
00:39:37| car great great break we get checked out he missed like three weeks at school we
00:39:43| handle like a home for a week or two like it was serious issue so that class
00:39:47| that I wake up at 7:30 to go to as a lecture hall and that two-week period um
00:39:53| teacher was like in your one of your big three exams 33 percent of your grade was
00:39:58| this week and he was like I can't make it my RA pushed me you know he broke my
00:40:02| arm I have a Rick node it from a doctor I'm home for a week
00:40:06| and the teacher I'll say is paddy Lorenz was like no you can't do that and he was
00:40:13| like no no I mean he just pushed me broke my arm I'll be back he's like I
00:40:16| don't play funny games you're gonna gonna take that credit and I still just
00:40:28| you probably hate Brett but I hate the teacher Wow it's funny how you tell
00:40:33| stories and I like I remember two things from the studio Tenma I know Ben I met
00:40:39| Ben first time I met him he's like we have uh what protocol playing in the
00:40:44| next room like he was talking about uh what's the name of the band
00:40:49| yeah there's a product retreat yeah poor country just like trying to sound cool
00:40:56| he's like hey we got it over here but uh first thing the first time I knew
00:41:07| Listerine had alcohol in it I was like said we have to like we have to keep
00:41:13| this locked up because grandma a little bit oh yeah her grand mom would drink
00:41:19| Listerine to get get a buzz going well I figured
00:41:22| something out when I did those seven shots and got $7 yeah I did actually
00:41:26| throw but um different drunk and it hits you quicker I guess it's kind of alcohol
00:41:32| is it it's not probably the sores it makes in your stomach gets right to your
00:41:36| bloodstream they would take us oh yeah but uh no like it would make you drunk
00:41:45| and then it would wear off like within ten minutes it was the weirdest thing so
00:41:50| like you'd be drunk for a little bit like 15 minutes ten minutes it was like
00:41:54| weird that you'd be like I'm good who do you like time you're buzzed
00:41:59| exactly like you're gonna have a five minute and 42 second buzz right now as
00:42:04| soon as you do this and this is like okay and then you you're super drunk for
00:42:08| that before 1:42 great well no because you have to do it like 2:00 a.m. but
00:42:15| assuming before a family event hmm Thanksgiving her son he'll be good one
00:42:21| like break break the ice I always breakers just like everyone
00:42:28| ready to go back to working like yeah I didn't do any drugs why but I feel like
00:42:36| you get that with drugs more than alcohol right not necessarily like
00:42:42| smoking your things I don't know that you can time something like I feel like
00:42:46| if you do well I've never done like the micro dosing acid they do and Silicon
00:42:51| Valley but I feel like that's got a hard time maybe I'm making that up anyone who
00:42:57| does micro dosing acid post in the comments yeah
00:43:01| is there a CIA logo please I don't care they're really not watching this channel
00:43:09| we don't have that more than four or hey are yeah it's called 911 there they've
00:43:17| gone back in time they know 9/11 the other story that you you made me pop in
00:43:23| my my brain it's a freshman year like the first two weeks like sometimes like
00:43:28| though my roommate sucked so I didn't know anybody and I couldn't be like hey
00:43:32| Ben oh yeah let's go there yeah my guy was
00:43:37| literally like on the weekends he'd dress up as a Boy Scout and run a pride
00:43:43| Klan Wolf Pack I don't know what they're called
00:43:47| oh yeah Cub Scouts really he dressed up like a Boy Scout we did something really
00:43:55| narrow no no I was she's really good he was study was still not a good
00:43:59| roommate but so eventually I went out on my own I went to this party where there
00:44:04| had ever clear in a bottle that everyone was sharing so I got smashed on
00:44:09| Everclear I got like so fucked up to the next day
00:44:13| I thought it was just the Everclear but it turns out I got mono from the same
00:44:16| thing and then I missed two weeks yeah I missed two weeks you always know the
00:44:23| kids that got mono like you hear about it you're like you come on mom I'll fuck
00:44:29| you up I don't remember anything from that time period except waking up for
00:44:32| like ten minute periods and go back to sleep so like you lose like almost 30%
00:44:37| of your mass like your muscle mass is completely gone
00:44:40| I also had an asshole teacher I came back to literally the dad came back like
00:44:47| we must have had like 20 desks 20 students and he said oh let's go gather
00:44:51| the desks around in a circle and I tried to lift a desk and we couldn't lift it
00:44:55| oh I was sitting on the far end yes I tried to pull it into the middle and
00:45:04| like the desk was making this horrible screeches the whole time and that
00:45:11| teacher gave me like I think like a C's like the worst grade I got but I think
00:45:15| he'd tool it he thought I was deliberately doing it to mother so he
00:45:24| was he's never had a C before he's going crazy no I do
00:45:32| he made a paper for everything that I had missed - it wasn't a book that I
00:45:37| didn't read he made me read it didn't fail me
00:45:42| that's true then it fails forgetting medically injured by his RA and his
00:45:48| friend shoutout then good job man statue limitations you
00:45:57| cannot sue us now Sue's us in retrospect for a class that has nothing to do with
00:46:03| his life he's like I received to death in certain class
00:46:06| I think that's enforceable I don't know what would give me like I would have a
00:46:12| different job now if I had gotten credit for that cut whoa whoa it was a story
00:46:16| told on the end panderers so I'm gonna sue the others as a duo like I like the
00:46:24| soundtrack to be prodigal by porcupine tree to showed an offender my view and
00:46:29| cool like do guys cool it's dude it's games in continental main topic now that
00:46:42| we had our little tangent there o-over thanks for joining us folks let's rattle
00:46:53| them all I just make sure you send us an email with your bank account numbers so
00:46:59| that we could just route our own money that's called phishing just send it to
00:47:03| us don't worry about it perfect is fishing always neat to parties
00:47:12| how would you won't do one party that's not hacking like it's not like I can
00:47:17| figure your bank account oh my oh that's not phishing phishing is worried
00:47:22| shingles like you have you bait a hook and then you had to wait for I'm gonna
00:47:25| grab and and catch phishing is not the same as phishing it's its way exactly
00:47:46| yeah it's where you paid a person into the time I got married female
00:47:53| she thought she was he wasn't no bigger one - I don't think
00:48:02| there needs to be show on MTV but I think someone got in trouble for that
00:48:05| one if you were and I in college there was actually shows that we're
00:48:10| interesting I guess they wasn't really that interesting but they're different I
00:48:17| think I missed a sentence you never watched catch catfish on oh I love
00:48:22| occasionally it wasn't my interesting show why was it that good well I don't
00:48:27| know if it was that great but it was always you know it was an aspect of life
00:48:30| that had just begun and people were many people to believe them emotionally you
00:48:41| don't have to see a person right I mean mail email by 12 or 13 whoa Oh were you
00:48:49| supposed to meet yeah somebody sent like really attractive pictures of like at 12
00:48:54| or 13 year old and I don't I'm not gonna judge that because it's weird to begin
00:48:58| with this she was smoking when I was 12 and 13 so we've all been there dead
00:49:16| anyway wait no this is very no I don't know if
00:49:21| I told you this but uh but but hey we're good but like I never I never met the
00:49:28| person because they said they were in a is actually in Philadelphia in
00:49:31| Norristown really yeah so I was like I think that person must have been an
00:49:38| older gentleman who was trying to lure me in obviously the buzz like he told me
00:49:44| his address and told me to go there and that yeah okay I think it was like a
00:49:52| might have been a real place but it's what's weird as like it was I look back
00:49:57| as a 12 or 13 year old I'm taking like you know my hormones are just starting
00:50:01| to blossom and I'm like interested in whatever whoever will let
00:50:05| me do whatever you know so you are at an age where a chat room right yeah it was
00:50:14| like all new me hopping on the aim camera regulated the Wild West of you
00:50:19| know you could say whatever how are you worried you're gonna hook up with
00:50:23| whoever the hell you wanted send a hot sexy JPEG like the long as it was low
00:50:28| file a little bit dude yeah let me download it in a day and I'll check you
00:50:33| out get back here you tomorrow well think
00:50:36| about it technology was probably easier to
00:50:39| download a random picture than it was to take a picture upload it to your
00:50:42| computer and then upload it to someone right at that low quality that easy to
00:50:47| it was easier to take an already-existing k peg i anchor to if
00:50:53| you already could find it on the internet you could have a collage of
00:50:57| that person so if you want to pretend to be something it was more your people are
00:51:02| malleable back then too right otherwise you have to scan pictures right there
00:51:06| was no way to just insert a picture than puter prove it
00:51:12| you can get a picture with up with a real camera and then scanning it and
00:51:18| then uploading it oh my god so here do you ever do um like it sounds creepy
00:51:36| saying secret boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever obviously girlfriend or guys
00:51:40| but like you you were in like a conversation relationship with a girl or
00:51:46| - you mean like an online relationship when you're younger I would say yes I
00:51:52| probably was in like 12 of them look compact like I was they were all pretty
00:51:57| like real casual like like yeah I like sports - or like man parents are the
00:52:04| worst you're cool you talk better than most girls like you know I mean like
00:52:08| that's the whole conversation it's like a couple topics or did you go crazy were
00:52:14| you like man I would touch that clitoris like it was nothing like you crack open
00:52:22| an encyclopedia Encarta and be like man get to your erogenous zones the barrio
00:52:29| your parents first mom can I use the enjoy opt to look at clitoris yes even
00:52:39| as a 12 year old 11 year old 13 year old wanted to meet these girls like I never
00:52:45| was like horned up like yeah I'm gonna meet Sarah chow down for four one and
00:52:51| like it was never oh I was always like like it's a it's an ideal I like to keep
00:52:57| it on the internet on the screen and like have a fake relationship with it I
00:53:01| don't know it was really I didn't think it was a guy or whatever really 50 year
00:53:04| old man I don't know I don't know I don't know it's worse because now people
00:53:09| who do that have like you know there's gonna be video there's gonna be Twitter
00:53:13| there's gonna be people we were nothing he placed from before I was like 18
00:53:20| please that's gone Oh Oh you're saying a record of it yeah
00:53:25| there's no record so I can't look back at my own chat log and be like oh God
00:53:30| I may be a well has that stored somewhere right no idea I don't even
00:53:37| think they had the space to see them all the chance that happened that's weird
00:53:40| it's crazy to think of all those chats have disappeared
00:53:43| creeper chats but also awesome but also weird hold on here's the weirdest
00:53:50| thought of all this is a this is a sanitarium for yet are you
00:53:56| you're like a 51 year old man pretending to be a boy who wants to meet a girl but
00:54:05| you're pretty sure these girls are 51 year old pervert men right you have a
00:54:11| loophole to get to that this is the similar impact personalities you well
00:54:15| seriously they didn't have FBI plans right to try and weed out child
00:54:20| molesters I think they did this is a realtors Hansen like you sit down me
00:54:24| like I've always wanted to meet you Chris Hansen FBI agents that would like
00:54:30| pretend to be either teenage boys or girls be like yeah I'll meet you like
00:54:34| whatever like they're trying to weed it out you think they gave him an address
00:54:37| and when they saw that they were actually a 12 year old boy they'd be
00:54:40| like like this kid and thinking it's like a man and they're trying to capture
00:54:52| them and these web of words and like I'm gonna get you pervert and it's like huh
00:54:57| man she is funny for a pervert and then like the next day they're like she's
00:55:02| gonna say it again I love her she's so funny and then
00:55:05| looking well whatever and then like a week later they realize like it was just
00:55:09| a little girl they're like I don't want to end the conversation she's so much
00:55:12| fun like they had like this real link and they were in there really I got cut
00:55:19| it off now I got work to do but seriously email me like they're having a
00:55:28| really good FBI agent fall in love with a teenager would it happen
00:55:36| I don't know it could happen I'm gonna write with scream but if only I mean
00:55:44| maybe they wait two years they're in Alabama this is the object piece because
00:55:56| it goes back to the 1990s - did you write the damn story about the FBI agent
00:56:08| that fell in love with a real 12 year old he's gonna take that story and run
00:56:12| with it tomorrow Anders that's okay I'm gonna go real big though here so there's
00:56:35| no what are you drinking there the blue sky I wouldn't say that's what I'm
00:56:43| drinking I'm saying that but I was holding earlier so the company frauds
00:56:49| like Enron and Rogers had like they were a stock that was valued at like 90
00:56:56| something dollars and then a year later down to one dollar because they cheated
00:57:00| in their accounting you know how does that work how many details you know
00:57:07| about that I know that they hired an accounting firm to be like an
00:57:12| independent party but they're manipulating the independent party -
00:57:15| Darryl ate the wrong fax debt so okay so they did have debt so
00:57:22| the real value was closer to $1.00 than the $90 yeah so that's a new debt that
00:57:27| was crushing oh really they told her only worth 90 and they
00:57:30| kind of were mm-hmm if you didn't count the debt the debt made them worth like
00:57:35| closer to $1 so what did all the are the golden parachute people do cuz we know
00:57:40| all the us don't sure tire actually I think he died in prison
00:57:45| oh yeah score one seriously suicide no I did
00:57:53| he's dead folks announcement from the on panders Kenneth what by Lele he died
00:58:04| unpay endures we put justice on a stick and we bring it to you there's my
00:58:10| expression that I'm gonna not even look these guys up because they're not even
00:58:15| worth our time frontiersmen sure so it's worth $90 were the top 40 guys that
00:58:25| you're talking about Kenneth why a bunch of other guys what do they do
00:58:29| are they selling their stock that day all at once and then announcing the
00:58:33| company went under look is that how this works I'd I assume they're making all
00:58:38| along and they know they're cheating so they're taking it out as they're
00:58:41| cheating and then when it finally the news comes out that they are cheating
00:58:45| their position is much lower than it would have been so they would have
00:58:50| already made their millions so then at that point they say sorry our company's
00:58:55| not worth anything we're out like our world and everyone goes I didn't know
00:59:00| anything and then it's like well we don't paper trail now write her down
00:59:04| that's good that's the one that's Ian it's cruise over Sandra rod was um what
00:59:09| year did you have a year for that cuz it was first time I've heard of corporate
00:59:14| like fuck over E is that up yeah that was I mean it was in Houston I think it
00:59:22| was 2001 all happened to though cousin was a hell of a year
00:59:30| yeah that's crazy another crash come up soon so yeah on that scale there's
00:59:38| another one like the Fannie Mae the subprime mortgages so these are their
00:59:42| big ones it's just that they had all those
00:59:46| derivative products that were like leverage and leverage and leverage so
00:59:49| then I'll have like a multiple that made it like crush them even more where they
00:59:53| had that garbage asset you wish that subprime asset was the one who's holding
00:59:58| your your not mortgage but school loan I only
01:00:04| understood one word school loan those two words so I mean essentially they had
01:00:12| an asset that was worth nothing and they pumped it up to make it seem like it was
01:00:15| worth a lot how do they do that just by word of mouth like fake accounting
01:00:19| primer see they kept like putting smokin me or smoking mirrors until the last
01:00:24| thing was like oh this is something that's pretty good and then all these
01:00:27| people put money into it and then when it finally the smoke cleared everything
01:00:31| turned to shit and they're like wow how do you smoke something like I'm I'm not
01:00:38| a financial guy so I don't most of out on purse as I would call them big fans
01:00:43| you package and rename it's multiple times to make it seem like it's
01:00:47| something different than it is in layman's terms I understand that but
01:00:52| like so um corporate glass has been rebranded as um failsafe anonymous has
01:01:02| been rebranded as Branson incorporated has been rebranded as on ffense
01:01:07| poly leaf incorporated and it's worth way more and like is that what they're
01:01:12| doing looked exchanging name and it's and every time they say it their voice
01:01:15| raises a decibel or as you raise a key you notice this person changes however
01:01:20| so much is that I mean it's not a different business it's the same
01:01:33| business that's calling it something else
01:01:35| so you're repackaging crappy assets with like a little glimmer of diamond in that
01:01:41| pile of shit and then you shine on the diamond with the next package and then
01:01:46| at each time each each method yeah they call it margin so like at each each
01:01:51| portion of it like a smaller percentage of it is actual cash so but you just
01:01:58| focus on the smaller portion you just both it's like multiplying a dollar by
01:02:02| like a hundred and then multiplying by a thousand bucks invested and it's only
01:02:10| really worth not a dollar anymore it's like five
01:02:13| cents so you instead of losing yeah instead of like losing a dollar in a
01:02:17| thousand dollar bet you lose nine hundred and ninety five dollars like
01:02:22| nine hundred fifty bucks yeah that's exactly prime mortgages are really
01:02:29| uh-huh what's a reverse mortgage it's where you
01:02:34| get paid to have a mortgage because you're making money out of it but is it
01:02:39| the bank or whoever taking taking they're taking interest in whenever
01:02:45| you're getting money out of a but they don't any part of your house where they
01:02:51| the reverse mortgages is so you have a certain amount of money in your house
01:02:55| the reverse mortgage takes money out of the money that you have in your house
01:02:58| and gives you back to you at a certain interest rate okay so you're getting
01:03:02| your own money but losing interest yeah yeah yeah and I don't think that the
01:03:10| Fonz would approve of that that's not a scam but he's just flirting you know
01:03:14| like if you have a different I'm never drinking your own scams go we're talking
01:03:26| about the big corporate scam willing it down it's getting whittled down oh shit
01:03:36| I can't wait good then my face get really good did you read our watch wolf
01:03:43| of Wall Street thought fraud no no never didn't watch that no I um what's my
01:03:52| campus boys my life was ruined he's my he's my subprime mortgage so
01:03:59| he's a glowing diamond Wall Street did the same thing where they like if you
01:04:09| take a stock that worked it's worth ten bucks and you put all your money into it
01:04:13| it's gonna raise a little bit but the wolf of Wall Street actually pump more
01:04:16| money into it by advertising to people who didn't know anything and taking
01:04:21| their money and then pumping the err asset up and then selling way more
01:04:26| than it looked like originally it's going on and then they shat on everyone
01:04:30| who invested but they did it in like a Ponzi scheme style so that the people
01:04:35| who are actually putting in more money they pay them back with the money that
01:04:41| they so be quiet but you know what a Ponzi scheme is right what's your right
01:04:48| definitely scheme what you just said you are invest a lot of money and you fool
01:04:53| what you people and then at some point you start paying back the top people who
01:04:56| are helping you so they say listen getting money back from this thing keep
01:04:59| putting money in and then you start feeding a few people under them and
01:05:03| they're like listen everyone's getting money
01:05:05| this is just free money and they invite so many freebie people and you're like
01:05:10| gotta take all that money away by the way have a great day
01:05:13| yes am I correct ish yeah oh yeah the guy's name was actually Ponzi Ponzi it's
01:05:27| like the 1940s or some that in like icing on Z or pot see his pots II was
01:05:33| sort of Ralphie and pot see they were oh yeah yeah anyway yeah and Bernie manna
01:05:43| which everyone knows now because he was like yeah I was worth millions of
01:05:48| dollars already and they decided that they needed more millions Wow we saw the
01:05:51| UM the TV version dude he was he knew he was effed like months before it all
01:05:58| actually crashed so he would like similar to what the video you had me
01:06:05| watch mm-hmm he would like to spend nights just not sleeping like staring at
01:06:10| a blank wall that being like am i thinking over so
01:06:15| many people everyone's so effed the paper trail will catch up to us
01:06:19| we're so effed and then he would go back about his daily business but like crazy
01:06:25| stuff he almost put her on this is yeah spring
01:06:29| a little human in back into this little motion with the yeah so what I had you
01:06:34| watch was uh catch me if you can you can before we start that my comments
01:06:42| no absolutely not I just one of my eight words written down there's actually all
01:06:47| eight or from my dad so shout out my yeah he's made twice it's upset
01:06:53| there's a saying he always has if you can't dazzle them with brains
01:07:00| baffle them with bullshit I think that's a great thing is like oh oh that's
01:07:08| language I don't approve of that my son won't approve of that you're out of his
01:07:12| life forever and anyway disowned my dad he's not
01:07:15| allowed to talk to my kid talk to me he's out of my life
01:07:20| it sounds like you're baffling the impulsion dazzling me with braids but
01:07:28| good well he he also talked about how he would just like the present-day self of
01:07:35| Frank abhinaya which there's a if you searched YouTube for Frank Abagnale he
01:07:40| talks about there's fed talks 2013 he talks about what actually happened and
01:07:45| catch me if you can which is not yeah he talked about how he stayed up at night
01:07:52| and just staring into nothingness and his kids were like what's wrong with you
01:07:55| dad he's like I remember that what I really missed when I was doing all this
01:07:59| crazy scam egde so how is that way is that what kept him up he he was scamming
01:08:04| them as well real quick
01:08:08| I watched most of the video mm-hmm all of it was busy the beginning is the part
01:08:14| that makes more sense I think hold on so when you sent me the video I saw at the
01:08:20| end of his talk last three minutes I didn't understand it exactly oh it
01:08:24| started does it when I hear it doesn't it give you the last three minutes yes
01:08:27| yes where are you sure hold on it went to the next video which was him giving a
01:08:32| talk in another place oh yeah now I couldn't stop it I was doing dishes or
01:08:37| something that the video is playing or whatever and I know how the phone that's
01:08:39| fancy enough where I can be like hey phone replay that last video from the
01:08:44| beginning that's not that fancy I did you say oh I'm doing dishes I might as
01:08:49| well listen they gave a different speech but I
01:08:51| imagine it was the exact same speech yeah which made me think is this part of
01:08:57| the scam I mean the guys was gaming his whole life it
01:08:59| he was very there's a state employees like oh it's it's it's to complete of a
01:09:06| message he's like this well you know what I learned from scamming all these
01:09:10| people is you can't scan people you have to really look inside here you're
01:09:16| scamming yourself and everyone's like yeah and he's like so anyway if you
01:09:20| could donate to me to give one of these speeches again I will gladly give this
01:09:25| speech again you know we can't collect money on his stories here's a good money
01:09:31| from those speeches you just I mean he might get Feliz he's getting money
01:09:34| somewhere he's scamming him he's scamming his story and it's a real story
01:09:38| I'm not knocking the story it's a very good story
01:09:41| well there were there was research showing that like of his aliases that he
01:09:46| used they couldn't figure out in the past whether those aliases actually
01:09:50| existed or that they did the scams that he says they did what's too hard you did
01:09:55| it would like on Sam right he'll pick up the phone and call
01:09:59| Pentair pin is asleep pity and be like yeah yes pan-pan are you saying pad or
01:10:10| Pam pen and he'll be like yeah we lost our uniform man I've never had this
01:10:17| happen in the wash uh why are you just going I'm in Boston and we're gonna have
01:10:21| to fly here from Chicago it's too far I'm gonna get him one day and he would
01:10:25| go through his whole spiel like off the just toss bet and get people to send him
01:10:30| a new uniform and now I had a pilot's uniform I heard how he got um he begged
01:10:36| a pilot's ID yeah because he went to the printer conferences your freedom really
01:10:42| that good and they were like yeah huh we're gonna do this he's like Wilma
01:10:46| buyer for Pan Am and we don't know if you do that this good and they're like
01:10:50| oh yeah we do really good we do for Pan Am before he's like could you do though
01:10:54| say could you do me like in an ID and they were like oh we could do anyone let
01:10:59| me see it like this like well looks like me but can you can you forge
01:11:05| papers and say I fly airplanes you know II mean it was ridiculous please I guess
01:11:10| uh uh it sounds like there's a whole like his whole method of scamming people
01:11:16| was to fill out field I like the section field let's say like I mean you feel
01:11:20| Beale yes I mean old appropriate so his ich spiele was that he would fill
01:11:28| out a form of the record show I started to peel I know I know much peels I
01:11:36| created them so he would let you fill out a form and the form back then took
01:11:42| forever to validate so like he'd do it with you know getting uniforms getting
01:11:46| like IDs he'd get checks so he's like he said even like that he would go to like
01:11:53| the different airlines would cash checks up to hundred dollars so he'd go to each
01:11:57| individual airline each individual hotel and get the hundred dollars from each
01:12:00| one and by the time he was done he was eight hours later and there was a shift
01:12:04| change so he'd go back again and start again damn smart yep
01:12:09| that's called the the technology loop I believe yeah I made that term up but
01:12:15| works this is interesting I didn't think we're going here I didn't
01:12:22| want to go here I didn't need to go here let's delve in holy shit folks this is
01:12:31| an entirely unplanned this is an entirely unrelated
01:12:34| holy smokes box this is so weird this is destined for this podcast so
01:12:46| what's the biggest scam you ever done in your life I was going to ask you write
01:12:49| me person not yeah and not even scam like a rum
01:12:53| I would scam people out of in EverQuest whenever they needed my help
01:12:59| not whenever this is occasionally yeah maybe like I need you to stay here and
01:13:08| kill this one thing while I run over and kill this other guy and then this
01:13:11| thing's gonna drop if like he dropped like a digital item
01:13:16| dropped in front of me and I looked around and they weren't there I'd pick
01:13:19| it up and they'd come back they'd be like it drop and I'd be like no no what
01:13:29| happened I killed a guy I didn't drop anything so I got to do it again
01:13:36| stand right here well I go do the work again yep that's not a big scam that's
01:13:43| on scan that's not stealing money from a little time so oddly not the biggest
01:13:51| it's not a scam the biggest scam lie said weird so your bachelor party was in
01:14:04| New Orleans oh yeah oh but the weather was so bad that I couldn't make it
01:14:12| we were literally underneath your plane as the dot of your phone was hovering
01:14:17| above us and it was torrential downpour and everything was flooding around us
01:14:21| everything was floating like crazy there were storms going wild our plane made
01:14:26| the descent to land and New Orleans I'll say it like that like I've been there
01:14:31| I'm sure there I was within range you're there my man hands
01:14:35| vastra party and they pulled up at the last second citing weather issue and
01:14:42| storming and flooding and rain and downpour and crazy conditions it was
01:14:47| wild that night they thought the whole city was gonna flood they weren't gonna
01:14:52| lay in the plane everything was going on they flew us back to Houston in Texas
01:14:58| which you've been there before right it's ironic so they sent me from your
01:15:05| bachelor party back to where you lived so lay in the plane when they land in a
01:15:11| plane it was like 10:00 at night they did not plan on landing this plane one
01:15:16| of the dudes who I was sitting near was a farmer he barely spoke any English she
01:15:20| was from Eastern Europe I want to say who's Hungarian or something he was like
01:15:25| what does decent mean uh what happen and I was like
01:15:29| listen they after our plane they effed it up whatever people were panicking
01:15:35| people were like where do we stay what's going on who's gonna pay for it what's
01:15:39| going like it was chaos people were going nuts the airport was trying to
01:15:43| close down that night so certain segments were just black
01:15:47| there'll be no for like you know five minute walk and you'd be walking around
01:15:51| me like is anyone gonna help me hello I don't live in the airport I don't know
01:15:54| where I am help me so they gave us this weird
01:15:58| number and they're like listen just call this number and they had to physically
01:16:01| write it so must be a secret number or like you know get get through the
01:16:06| bullshit here's a real number yeah if you call
01:16:09| this number they know you really need help do what the Eastern European thing
01:16:14| was like I know speak the language good like you know I mean it was like a
01:16:21| you'll be fine just this just calm up he was like I don't know that this he
01:16:28| looked like he looked like a terrorist like if you were described a terrorist
01:16:35| like three hours it seems like a cool dude so I made a judgment call
01:16:40| I grabbed his phone and I picked it up and I asked him to spell his name and
01:16:44| right the fanatics under it and he was like what do you mean I was like how do
01:16:48| you see your goddamn name dude like I say his name of the podcast you were
01:16:51| yeah and I talked to security they're like what's your name sir I was like I'm
01:16:55| doing this understand I said like all these weird words they're like and your
01:17:00| him sounds like yeah I need a place to stay tonight
01:17:04| give me a free thing and airfare back to so-and-so New Orleans or whatever and
01:17:09| they were like okay are you sure and like I've been looking another like okay
01:17:13| you'd be like give me this anyway I hooked my man up with a free flight free
01:17:21| hotel free taxi free everything and the whole time I was doing I was like please
01:17:25| don't be a terrorist please don't leave please don't be awful
01:17:29| but I was like he's probably just a normal dude who got sidetracked by the
01:17:32| damn weather and I impersonated someone to the what's it called the air plane
01:17:40| I would say like TSA but that didn't exist at the time right no no this is no
01:17:46| it's like five years ago your bachelor party
01:17:51| owns it iasts anyway I totally hooked them up with like a free airport a free
01:17:56| flight a free whatever he said he was a grip for a famous movie every which
01:18:02| movie no I looked him up he's pretty sweet and then we all got in the grip
01:18:07| she's a guy who works the cameras and stuff and like Sam Mike right but like I
01:18:15| had to pretend to be him and then when we got to a hotel like he ended up at
01:18:19| the same free hotel I did I walked up to the front desk goes like I'm so low I
01:18:25| said his name or whatever and like I need a room I hooked him up I'll say
01:18:30| here's your kid you are you gonna do cuz like he couldn't speak English good luck
01:18:34| he he he would have been screwed like why he would sleepin in the airport yeah
01:18:40| like don't do anything bad dude just cuz they're gonna be like he helped him in
01:18:46| up like you know to me but it was really cool when like he emailed me like a year
01:18:51| later it was like thank you Niq everything good this is my new movie I
01:18:56| work on it was like some movie no one's ever heard of but I was like well like
01:19:00| right on brother good for you oh I love you anyways that
01:19:09| relate to scams you felt like you were scamming the TSA my pretending to be
01:19:13| somebody else yes like at the time it was like 9/11
01:19:17| was in my brain and I was like what if I'm doing the wrong thing like you know
01:19:21| I need to make him talk for himself but really I did I just pretend to be him I
01:19:25| told everyone I was here Mike gave his last name there's numbers were scamming
01:19:32| is actually a positive scamming which could be defined as helping somebody I'm
01:19:39| help our guys yeah so much nice and stealing digital goods
01:19:45| oh so there's a list of all these types of scams and I want to run through them
01:19:52| if you hold on I got shorter list it's only three literally I said all my
01:19:57| numbers gonna sprinkle your scams in there as I go easy no no let them live
01:20:04| elevated well they do thrive right they they pretend to sell vitamins and
01:20:13| shit that makes you healthy all those high-end ethic medicines yes
01:20:18| and then hold on so there's like a bunch in jewelry now that are really big
01:20:22| they're getting like everyone's talking about Sao Paulo and celadon selling
01:20:28| thought no no anyway trust me Melissa's like oh I do them scam pyramid trust me
01:20:35| I'm the one who knows and uh last one I had written down here my girlfriend was
01:20:40| like pyramids good yeah and she named the list places like there's like a
01:20:43| candle one I was like candles and she's like baby she couldn't remember the name
01:20:52| she's like she's my and do all this stuff and it's for candles I was like
01:20:57| who who's got the time to be here it's game for candles like if you told me I'd
01:21:03| be like I come here later I mean it's weird and I like to stay at
01:21:09| home mom's get manipulated in the least multi level marketing schemes hey
01:21:14| they're the big target I think okay yeah anything that does like a an ambience
01:21:19| like the candles make sense like so let's go back anyone who's also just
01:21:38| turn up behind please tell me anyway go oh they do like these two things like
01:21:44| lipstick or like they do like kitchen goods or like eggs chicken
01:21:57| I don't know the names of these things I'm just gonna call him out Herbalife is
01:22:04| like they sell inventory to their storefronts and the people above like
01:22:12| whoever started it makes money whoever is like the second tier third tier third
01:22:16| fourth like it keeps going like the people up top make money pyramid scheme
01:22:20| but the people at the bottom are so strong like they're struggling so hard
01:22:23| to sell Herbalife they never make any money
01:22:26| they're just milking it the people the top so it's a milk scheme it's people
01:22:33| milking people it's like human set of people with knockers all right if humans
01:22:38| were cows and made of money yes yes indeed jump over to I think you'll like
01:22:50| the sidewalks games and jump over these cat this category like if you're walking
01:22:57| in like New Orleans for example some people come up to you and they ask you
01:23:02| where you got your shoes I'll tell you where you got your shoes and they'll bet
01:23:08| you like 5 bucks and they'll say like you'll agree to it no say where do I get
01:23:15| my shoes but that's not the language that they use they say well you got your
01:23:18| shoes on Bourbon Street like they're standing on Bourbon Street or you got
01:23:23| you got your shoes on the floor you got it now know how much more of a
01:23:30| drink do you need I had to think about that were saying yeah cuz they got him
01:23:35| they got him on the ground that's where you got your shoes what if they were
01:23:40| levitating oh there's a thin layer Adams that makes it so I'm not on the ground
01:23:46| so I'm not gonna give you your money they're definitely air out of there
01:23:52| definitely are but I don't think someone who doesn't understand English language
01:23:56| that well yeah well the other side sidewalks games I really like to like
01:24:05| the three-card Monte where they swap around cards and they say pick the pick
01:24:09| the Queen who like they set that up so that the
01:24:13| people before whoever the target is they're in on the scam so the people
01:24:18| before them can make money but they're making money to their friend and they
01:24:23| say now now you you you try it like the random visitor and the random visitor
01:24:28| feels like he's like part of it right Gabe yeah game yeah like swap out the
01:24:35| card or make it so like people are hinting at a different card they'll like
01:24:39| sway him it to choose the wrong stuff if you had a crowd of people behind you
01:24:44| saying like all the middle cards are you doing their neck you're doing right
01:24:55| there yeah right you got it you got a break wow you're gone it's yeah I hope
01:25:07| that garlic was a drink for a drink okay I don't always do this here at the
01:25:18| impaler's but certain products drive me wild like they really get my goat they
01:25:28| get me for who I am they do something for me that's just out of this world
01:25:32| folks I can't explain it every time it's not always normal but but it works
01:25:39| most people swear by that fancy garlic it's called elephant what a fun day yeah
01:25:45| I thought about $5.99 for a clove no thanks so I recently tried a new one
01:25:54| it's called wise bread ten times more intense well that's what they say so I
01:26:00| tried wise brand garlic it's 65 cents for a clove I thought it it's probably
01:26:05| not that special there's a elephant $0.65 folks it's thought I didn't buy a
01:26:16| thinking I would change the world and anything anything of it
01:26:19| it's the supermarket brain-wise why supermarket no big deal on my way home
01:26:27| all the lights turned green no big deal whatever I had to stop at a gas station
01:26:35| right you do the credit car thing and then you you put the pump in and trying
01:26:39| to remember when you're getting close to and clicked off at $20.00 good thinking
01:26:49| anything of it just fucking garlic so then I get inside and I'm gonna start
01:26:57| this chicken meal or a rubber a little garlic a little Italian herbs and
01:27:01| seasons on them I said I better turn the oven to 375 the oven turned itself on to
01:27:13| a little weird right little weird maybe it's the wise bread so walking the
01:27:19| dog this has been an hour and a half ago
01:27:22| it's getting dusk it's Twilight I can barely see everything walking down the
01:27:26| street I didn't realize I had the garlic in my pocket I don't get into why it's
01:27:31| in my pocket I'm a little strange before I cook I need to do a few things all my
01:27:37| neighbors it could them ones I haven't met yet they're all standing outside
01:27:43| their house so I'm walking the dog dick dick walking he lifts his leg ep's
01:27:51| neighbors don't even say anything really even looking at me they're just staring
01:27:55| straight ahead helping him dad this something is a memo what's going on I
01:28:00| keep walking soon as I won't buy each one they start shouting the true name of
01:28:06| God absolutely right so oh my god this is bizarre this is this got me
01:28:11| thinking and the glowing thing in my pocket it's the garlic there oh shit
01:28:25| and I can't hear you Oh Eric okay no I got really intrigued and silent I think
01:28:37| she did anyway um if you get a chance to go by Weis markets bottom wise garlic
01:28:43| over the other brands it's it's really doing a number for me so shout out um
01:28:49| product bugboy do I pick a little my rectum we will say cleaning out the
01:29:00| garlic yeah if you put garlic on your bed at night then it absorbs all the
01:29:05| negative spirits girl with all the negative spirits in your anus so get
01:29:09| sucked out by that garlic I kind of pull real hard though onions so if you do
01:29:18| onions and crack that's a good mix for a beef stew but it's saying which one
01:29:31| which one of these do I want to hit I did the hard hitting ones the fresh ones
01:29:37| so everyone the one digital scam that I have on here there's an app that was
01:29:43| called I am rich it was just an app that you could buy for a thousand dollars
01:29:52| that would then give you a little emblem that could show off how rich you were
01:29:56| because she spent a thousand bucks on the app didn't do anything
01:29:59| where did it show up like a Facebook or like what your text so I don't even know
01:30:05| I had the only thing I saw it was a picture of like a little like it's
01:30:09| almost like what is this no man's sky diamonds oh yeah I guess you would show
01:30:14| that to people to show how much of an asshole you were no that's the thing
01:30:21| with that kind of emblem you kind of have to accidentally show it to everyone
01:30:24| oh I'm sorry yeah they did a flowers online show you
01:30:31| one day I was drunk and I had money so I just
01:30:39| they took that app off because it actually functionally helped anybody but
01:30:44| the developer probably made boatload of money off of stupid people paying a
01:30:47| thousand bucks for their our had been sucked into a timeshare no my parents
01:30:59| were and almost couldn't get out of it at all for like years and years like
01:31:05| years and years oh yeah we catch in your room and they try to make you feel
01:31:10| guilty and they never do it what's that advertise on Facebook how
01:31:16| cool it was threw up some fake pictures hold on talked to this couple were like
01:31:22| well we could sell it to you I mean it's crazy good and they bought it
01:31:31| but now there's like a exit timeshare tarp shirt exit curb there's like
01:31:36| companies that do this get you out of the bullshit and we're gonna use this
01:31:41| for one week in a year and no you know you well did you were the feet the fees
01:31:46| would go up every year so that the fee for owning your $300 timeshare was up to
01:31:51| like $1,700 a year it was like twenty one hundred thousand a year you're like
01:31:55| uh $2,800 here like a climb friend that's a ridiculous I can't believe
01:32:07| people I mean it's obvious why people get sucked into them but why people
01:32:12| continue to I guess what if you do it for a couple years and then they sucker
01:32:15| you into these gigantic fees you're just like you keep going and going and going
01:32:21| so there's actually people associated with Yukon men I tried to fly through
01:32:26| these people it was like yeah Robert handy free guard I'm certainly turned up
01:32:33| in your searches forget did I bring him up you did earth
01:32:37| okay I'll jump right into it then he was at mi5
01:32:43| my god yeah he he would say that he needed I guess like a co-star but a co
01:32:51| agent were these women and he would tell them that this is gonna the funny part
01:32:56| that he would tell the women that they'd have to prove themselves to be an agent
01:33:00| so he'd make them like sleep on park benches for dark man oh the creepy part
01:33:12| is that he like I guess there's nothing technically wrong with it other than he
01:33:17| was promising them the secret agent he would also do like this is the negative
01:33:26| downside is that he would do yeah 600 arresting them you tricked them into
01:33:37| doing stuff because they thought they're gonna be agents but that's their own
01:33:41| fault just send me a seductive look Alyssa Milano and
01:33:52| Christina Applegate I'm not gonna make easy good agent that's I'll tell you
01:33:57| that right now I already mentioned my Frank my Frank
01:34:12| sprinkle I was gonna mention sprinkle because yeah yeah you need to cut it
01:34:24| short no cuz I got we're nearing the end I'm gonna power the hell guide them
01:34:31| through if my voice him thicker and you kazir hmm that's God took are some
01:34:39| lenses ACL okay thank you God I'll cut it short for you okay burn I apologize
01:34:45| what I realize is that I think this topic is stemmed from a movie that I saw
01:34:50| but I didn't even realize it so it was subliminal subconsciously that obvious
01:34:56| yeah um I saw the beginning of the yet no I know I saw the beginning at the end
01:35:02| there's a racecar driver but I didn't Margot Robbie can jump into
01:35:06| the seductive look if she wants to she can jump into my car bed that could be
01:35:16| yeah yep okay all right I can do it okay what is she upset no I'm trying to store
01:35:27| back the Smurf to my face tell me what he did
01:35:30| what'd he do he didn't do it so the hood he's he's in a little bit of hot water
01:35:40| folks we all love him buta listens to the podcast he's one of my best friends
01:35:45| he's I try and tell him right from wrong I tried tell him what to do so he goes
01:35:51| to a party it's called there excuse my language big dick bastards
01:35:59| it's a BDSM group they all meet his girlfriend's cool with it like huh
01:36:05| listen they're both cool with it they're both adults they could do whatever the
01:36:09| hell they want it's a bondage boob they do a lot of
01:36:12| bondage you can walk around do what you think he he goes there um dance
01:36:19| he's a sub I hate to give away his position he likes to be tied up no I
01:36:25| said messy submissive he likes to be tied up mister elbows his wrists it's
01:36:31| called they calmed ours cuz her elbows and wrists I don't get too deep into the
01:36:38| community he was talking to another Bower her elbows her wrists and she was
01:36:44| eating some of the hors d'oeuvres they had an hors d'oeuvres
01:36:46| no she's her jokin no she's literally token she's like like not joke token
01:36:52| like whatever but both of them don't have their hands or arms she's choking
01:36:57| she doesn't know what to do she falls on her knees he doesn't know what to do cuz
01:37:02| he can't use his hands arms either she lunges for his wiener he pops it out of
01:37:08| his pants going on this is insane like this is
01:37:15| everyone's attention over here what's going on she's trying to dislodge the
01:37:20| food from her throat like this is a life-or-death situation not a joke
01:37:24| we're not trying to make light of it so dans guys are my eyes back me he's
01:37:31| coming like a bit like a snail you know I'll give him credit
01:37:35| I told him not to go to this party she died folks I'm trying to have to two
01:37:43| into it but um the family is now suing real estate they're suing my friend the
01:37:56| huge for having two tiny of a dick they just wish it was bigger it would have
01:38:05| saved her life I try not to tell jokes on here I think
01:38:12| it's terrible but if his penis was just a little bigger they probably would just
01:38:18| lots of food she'd be alive right now and and just emphasis the name of the
01:38:29| party was big dick BDSM party so she's she's suing for $900,000 who she doesn't
01:38:38| have that kind of money but I don't know I don't know where right is where wrong
01:38:41| is and we hope the best for all parties involved same patter so exciting if only
01:38:53| he were a little bigger sad and we don't know I'm not saying she
01:38:59| would have lived I'm just saying the family suing it's of note anyway we're
01:39:05| done got that ugly business out of the way in court they're gonna have to prove
01:39:11| how big of a dick you know I know here's the thing and we have two guests execute
01:39:20| his list for product material two judge and then the measure so I said
01:39:27| anime Sailor Moon they get some part of rating if that doesn't do it
01:39:37| mm-hmm well pillow action judge that ain't
01:39:42| happening for that not happenin shout out to the family involved ugly business
01:39:50| a lot of Boers she just be into regular BDSM elbows stuff the price no came to
01:39:59| her assistance okay I mean maybe he was the best option at the time I think it's
01:40:07| cuz they're both Bowers I mean all those back maybe they were for Bowers around
01:40:12| anima um there is good news as far as our socials dad Sally forty-seven
01:40:22| Patriot on Twitter I wrote well we wrote episode 21 drops see how you like rulers
01:40:36| or not so good rollers Sally wrote and I quote lol no way
01:40:44| maybe we can have some fun wiki base click the link in my profile I think we
01:40:55| get more followers every day and with discount action folks quick I
01:41:00| girlfriends we're married we're not doing anything I'm just saying the only
01:41:11| meat I wish I couldn't know what you mean
01:41:14| do you know what I mean well you should we appreciate everything you do for a
01:41:23| Sally patriot she had an American flag on her
01:41:28| background she was smoking i oniy know how old she was but older 13 I know you
01:41:33| said you liked there in Europe who's she riding a stallion she was but it was a
01:41:40| picture of you at the Pottery Barn or whatever earlier that's exactly what I'm
01:41:44| talking about folks I'm Annie fuller we had Sochi go
01:41:54| to them click on them be a part of them don't tell your friends do tell your
01:42:01| friends don't tell your family do tyre family it's this weird thing where
01:42:07| you're part of us you're not part of us you want to sue us you don't want to sue
01:42:13| us yeah if you've ever watched the abyss
01:42:17| and the tentacle monster starts clicking on every link it sees what water
01:42:25| tentacle monster folks we like damn it come on odd patters
01:42:51| thanks for listening
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